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  1. Public Bookmark 19

    Tags
    Summary

    (Jay asks Matt to help him take photos for an online dating profile.)

    “Show me. I wanna see what you do to them. You never tell me when I ask.” Matt is petulant and commanding all at once, in a way that he and only he could balance.

    This is officially a record-breaking new level of gay chicken. Someone should alert Guinness.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,445
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    130
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1,090

    13 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    chewing on glass

  2. Public Bookmark 38

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    Summary

    The burning in Jay’s face is enough to make him itchy. He can’t identify the emotion behind it. It’s indignation and it’s mortification and it’s a new word ending in -ation no one has ever felt in history before called ‘Matt is talking about having a shitty girlfriend and that’s me’. He keeps his tight fists at his sides and his jaw clenched and Matt holds his gaze but he breathes like Jay just sent him for a race. And maybe Jay wants a race now.

    It's 2008. Matt's a little bit drunk. Jay's a little bit high.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,224
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    222
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    1,704

    12 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    fuck me UP

  3. Public Bookmark 42

    Tags
    Summary

    He was freaking out.
    “Matt, listen.”
    Matt was drinking water straight from the kitchen faucet in his underwear and an open flannel shirt, not listening. He was barely awake.
    “Matt!”
    “What?” He turned around.
    “I need you on the best behavior of your life today.”
    ---
    Jay is twenty-six years old and attending his grandma’s funeral. An extraordinarily unfunny story with hand stuff at the end.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,962
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    232
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    1,762

    12 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    RRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

  4. Public Bookmark 15

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    Summary

    In the throes of temporary blindness, Matt asks Jay for some help. Jay obliges, after a fashion.

    "This is a trick," Jay says, wrenching his sleeve out of Matt's hand and crossing his arms. "You're just, uh, trying to get me to touch your dick so you can call me gay. I bet you don't even have to pee."

    "You're gonna find out how bad I need to pee in a second," Matt says, oddly threateningly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,453
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    108
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    880

    12 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    hell yeah

  5. Public Bookmark 8

    Tags
    Summary

    “Seriously, MJ,” Jay continues, turning to partially address the camera behind him. “You’re not—I don’t think I’ve ever seen you talk to a girl out in public or anything, like, successfully—”

    “The fuck is your problem, Jay?” Matt hisses under his breath, side-eyeing the camera. “What—why would you say that?”

    “Because you have no game, man! And it sounds to me like this whole plan is relying on us having game!”

    Jay bets Matt he can't bring a girl back to the apartment before him. Don't ask how this is supposed to help them book a show at the Rivoli.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,774
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    114
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    792

    11 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    im eating good fucking food