Work Text:
Paintbrush laid in bed, the covers draped over them as they make doodles on the drawing app on their phone.
They'd made much art on their phone, tablet, sketchbooks, etc. But didn't have much of anyone to show it to, other than some of the bright lights and The Thinkers. Especially Fan (who was laying in the bed next to them passed out from watching old inanimate insanity episodes). They wish they had more people to see their art, more people who wanted to see them create.
But that was impossible.
Wasn't it?
"god.. What if.."
They stared at the red app on their homescreen, with a paused symbol in the middle of it. Could they? I mean.. It wouldn't hurt.. They fumbled with their phone, sliding their finger up and down the screen waiting for something to happen. A final thought..
They figured it wouldn't hurt, I mean. Why would it? They're not gonna pick up much traction but at least SOME PEOPLE might see their art.
They made a channel, found some art they deemed "worthy" enough, and posted it.
Wow, that was a lot less dramatic than they expected.
They felt a wave of tiredness wash over them. What time was it?.. '05:34'?!.. They shut off their phone, dragging their hand over their face as they dread their lack of sleep. It's fine. Just, go to bed...
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They woke up by the sound of an overly loud alarm. Fuck.. They forgot to turn that off, it's fine, what ever time it is, they shouldn't let their lack of needed sleep put a dent in anything. They got out of bed, wobbling to their feet as they shut off their alarm. But as they did so, they noticed a notification from YouTube. "oh hey, did someone post something? This early..?"
A subscriber notification? What? One person had liked their art enough to see more.. They'd almost completely forgot about the post. They go check it.
5 likes.
That's incredible for the span of a couple hours!! And on a first post, this filled them to the brim with serotonin. People actually like their content. Their art!!
They rub the sleep away from their eyes. Deciding, why not post another thing? Surely people would still like it.
They scrolled through their art and photos, picking something and posting it. And thought nothing of it. They went about their day, talking to lightbulb, eating lunch, going on a walk, watching Heathers while eating dinner. Per usual, but something was different.. They found themself with the uncontrollable urge. The want to constantly see how people liked their art. They refreshed the page, waiting in anticipation.. But nothing happened. Nobody liked it. Was it not as good as the other one, why are they so hung up on this. It's literally their second time posting.
Sure they got plenty of views back when they were younger. But that was years ago... Maybe they should ask fan what to do? No no, they've gotta do this themself. They've gotta chase that serotonin rush.
Day after day, week after week.
Nothing and nothing.
They felt gross. Why was this affecting them so much?! They just stared at themself in the mirror. Feeling selfish in a way. It's fine.. They shouldn't be getting so worked up over this. Everything's fine.
They can't deal with it, everything is not fun.
Their original post has literally 100 likes by now! Compared to the nothingness that is the other posts.
Do the people not want to see more of their art? Is it all meaningless to them!?
Paintbrush let's out an angry and muffled yell as their hair quickly poofs up in a flame, quickly laying down normally afterwards.
They slap their arm as hard as possible, angry at themself for getting so worked up over literally nothing.
They grap their phone, deleting their channel and giving up. The feeling didn't go away completely. But it felt a little bit better at least.