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“You’ll be back stupid tranny. No one will ever want someone like you. You can’t even decide what you want to be”
Douglas woke with a gasp drenched in sweat. Sitting up in bed he managed to shake off the worst of the feelings. Taking in his surroundings he realised he was in his own home, not running from the first partner he had come out to. Beside him Martin was still fast asleep.
Should he wake Martin?
No better not. But he definitely needed a change of clothes. A shower would be too loud but he could at least wash off the worst of the sweat.
_____________
Douglas was in the middle of washing himself with a wash cloth when he saw movement in the corner of his eye. Still jumpy from the nightmare he looked up only to find Martin leaning in the doorway, the pair of pyjama bottoms he had borrowed riding low on his hips.
“What happened?”
“Just a small nightmare”
“Doesn’t seem like it, the way you are scrubbing yourself. Why didn’t you wake me?”
“I didn’t want to bother you”
“It won’t bother me. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nothing much to say. It’s stupid. Just something someone said to me decades ago”
“It’s not nothing if it’s still bothering you. Are you coming back to bed when you are finished? It’s not even 4am”
“Yeah” Douglas was relieved at Martin’s offer at an out, of not having to talk about it. Some day he might be able to tell Martin about it.
Douglas quickly finished washing up and put on a fresh pyjama before following Martin into their shared bed. Martin pulled Douglas close and Douglas clung to Martin burrowing his face in the crook of Martin’s neck breathing the reassuring scent of Martin, just simple soap and something purely Martin, nothing overwhelming or overpowering.
After a while Douglas even managed to fall back asleep in Martin’s embrace.