Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jisung doesn’t know why, but Hyunjin was mad at the world today. It seemed like every little thing was ticking the painter off. Every little mistake Jisung made during their dance practice was also not helping Hyunjin’s mood.

“Oh my god, Jisung,” Hyunjin snapped as he stomped over to stop the music. “What is so hard? This should be an easy move, even for you.”

Jisung lowered his arms from where they were positioned for the move the group was working on. His head had snapped up at the last comment.

Just like Hyunjin, Jisung wasn’t in the best mood. He had been up late worrying about the song he was working on with 3RACHA. He had promised Chan and Changbin that he wouldn’t stay up too late working on the song, but Jisung is good at lying.

The older two had been falling asleep while staring at their screen, getting nothing done. Jisung had volunteered to work on some of their stuff. His excuse had been that he had too much energy while they had none, so he would be able to stay awake. Changbin didn’t look like he believed him, but Chan was too tired to think about what Jisung was offering. The leader had been stressed about their newest comeback and hadn’t slept more than five hours the whole week. Changbin assisted him out of the studio while Jisung waved after them. 

Once they had left, Jisung had dropped his head on the table in front of him. It was a stupid decision to think that he could take on his hyungs’ work along with his own. It had kept him up all night; he got back to the dorm and collapsed on his bed. Minutes later, Chan shook him awake and told him to eat breakfast quickly so they could get to the practice room. Chan looked more awake than he had for weeks, so that made Jisung feel a little better.

But now, Jisung was feeling the effects of sleeping for less than an hour. His body wasn’t responding fast enough to hit every move and his muscles were getting sorer by the second.

“‘Even for you’?” Jisung repeated Hyunjin’s last words coldly. “What exactly is that supposed to mean?”

“I think you know exactly what it means.”

Jisung stiffened. He knew he wasn’t the best dancer they had, but that didn’t mean he was bad at dancing. Jisung was sensitive when his skills were doubted or questioned. Whenever there was anything going around on the internet trashing his abilities, the other members were sure to make sure he didn’t see the worst of it and they would give him extra attention so he didn’t slip into a bad place, mentally.

Jisung took a step towards Hyunjin, opening his mouth, but before he could say anything, Chan stepped in between them.

“Okay!” he said loudly, clapping his hands together. “I think it’s time we take a quick break. Cool off for a sec, yeah?”

Hyunjin scoffed. “Just because Jisung is falling behind doesn’t mean we all need to be dragged down with him.”

Everyone stared at the dancer in shock as he quickly left the room, slamming the door behind him. Then, everyone turned to Jisung, all their attention lasered on him suddenly – something the rapper hated more than anything. So, he just turned and walked briskly to the back of the room to grab his water bottle, taking an angry swig.

After a minute of staring at the wall and working on his breathing, Jisung felt someone walk up behind him.

“Hey,” Chan said gently.

Jisung nodded curtly.

“What was all that about?”

“I don’t know, Chan!” Jisung blurted (so much for those breathing exercises). “Am I supposed to know everything about Hyunjin or what he’s being pissy about? I don’t know!”

Chan looked taken aback and Jisung immediately regretted blowing up at the leader. He was just too full of emotions right now. The only person who he felt like being around was Minho and he wasn’t even there. He woke up feeling sick and Felix had forced him to stay home, rest, and eat soup. Due to the lack of the head dancer, Chan had declared that Hyunjin would be the dance instructor for today.

If Minho was here instead, Jisung knew he would be feeling better. There was some sort of connection between the two, they could just feel when something was off with the other and they always knew what to do to make each other feel better.

Right now, Jisung just wanted to sit in silence next to Minho. That’s all he needed to recharge, but he couldn’t do that. He was forced to dance under the supervision of an angry ferret.

After a moment of tense silence, Chan calmly said, “How are you doing, Hannie?”

Jisung blinked. He was ready for Chan to be mad at him too, not for him to look at him with such a worried face.

Chan chuckled. “Don’t look so surprised, I’m not blind, y’know. I can tell when something is wrong with you, and something is definitely wrong. So, what is it?”

Jisung froze. He couldn’t tell Chan that he was up so late that he came back to the dorm when the sun was rising. The leader would feel responsible for making Jisung stay out so late because he was working on his part of the song, too – even though Jisung fully volunteered to of his own volition. And he couldn’t tell Chan that he didn’t get even an hour of sleep because he would feel bad about waking him up.

So, Jisung lied.

“I’m just a little stressed about the comeback,” he said. “I’m sure Hyunjin is too. It’s fine. I’ll just try harder today. He’ll be fine tomorrow.”

Jisung hoped that the last part wasn’t another lie.

With a sigh, Chan patted him on the shoulder. He didn’t look like he fully believed Jisung, but he could tell that prying wouldn’t help with Jisung’s current mood.

Their little moment of peace was interrupted by the dance room’s door being opened harshly and Hyunjin walking back in, his eyes still sharp. Jisung gulped down one last swig of water. This was going to be a long practice.

·:*¨༺ 𖤓 ༻¨*:·

A few hours later, practice was over and Jisung was lying on the ground with an arm over his eyes. He was sore, sweating, and breathing heavily.

Someone nudged his foot and he threw his arm out dramatically so he could see who was disturbing his intense moping session. He was met with Seungmin sticking a water bottle in his face.

“Hydrate,” he said. “You need it.”

It sounded monotone, maybe a bit rude, but Jisung knew this was his way of showing he cared about Jisung and was worried about him.

A “thanks” was muttered before Jisung took the bottle and guzzled half of it in one go. He refused to look at the other members. They all had pity staining their faces after the wreck that had been practice.

Jisung’s body had continued to refuse to move fast enough for Hyunjin’s demands which had only made the dancer’s mood worsen. The others were too thrown off by Hyunjin’s mood change to do anything. Chan had tried talking to him, but Jisung had stopped him. He knew that would only make Hyunjin more annoyed. He would see it as getting told off for trying to keep them all together during the practice time that was entrusted to him. Jisung knew he didn’t want to blow being put in charge. He was sure something else was going on with the painter, but he wasn’t about to ask when Hyunjin was treating him like this.

Once everyone was ready to head back to the dorms, Chan made sure that Jisung and Hyunjin weren’t in the same car. One car held 3RACHA while the other was filled with the three youngest and Hyunjin. Chan had planned this so he and Changbin could talk to Jisung privately. He also hoped the youngest members would improve Hyunjin’s mood, especially the sunshine of their group: Felix.

Jisung knew what was coming when Chan told everyone which cars he would like them to go in. He sighed when he realized that Chan and Changbin would definitely grill him about the previous night and what happened to the rapper to make him act and look so shitty.

Unknown to the older two, Jisung had a plan. Once he sat down in the back and buckled, he immediately pulled out his headphones and started playing music, closing his eyes and reclining his head. A show of: Don’t talk to me right now, I’m relaxing.

Unknown to Jisung, the older two didn’t care. Changbin slid in after the younger boy and took his headphones off. After getting in the driver’s seat, Chan reached back and stole his phone to stop the music.

“You’re not getting out of talking about this,” Changbin said plainly.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Jisung reached for his headphones, but the older rapper pulled them further from his reach.

The leader sighed from the front seat and Jisung glanced over, preparing himself for the look of disappointment he was sure would be painted over Chan’s face. What he saw instead was worry. That was almost worst.

“Hannie,” started Chan, “how hard did you work yourself last night?”

“Not that hard,” Jisung replied automatically. “I just made sure your parts were good and checked Changbin’s too. You guys were both basically asleep at your screens, so there were a few mistakes that I fixed. I even got the rest of my problems fixed–”

“What?”

Jisung swallowed. What did he say wrong? Then it hit him. Half the reason that Chan and Changbin had agreed to let him stay behind and work on their parts was because Jisung had said that he was already done with his, so he had plenty of time left over.

“I–”

Changbin interrupted. “Don’t you dare lie. You clearly just admitted that you had to work on all three of our parts last night. What time did you even get back to the dorms?”

“I don’t think you want to know the answer to the question.” Jisung knew there was no getting out of this now. His stupid, tired brain had messed up, letting the fact that he still had some issues leftover of his own that he’d also had to work out before he could leave the studio.

“I think we do,” Changbin challenged, voice dark.

Look, Jisung knew that he could be sensitive and that he could cry from not-a-big-deal situations, but he really didn’t want to cry right now. Unfortunately, the combination of his sleep-deprived brain mixed with the angry look and angry voice from Changbin was not great for him at the moment. Chan seemed to notice.

“Binnie,” he said lightly. “Ease up.”

Changbin looked back at Jisung and noticed the slight quiver of his lip and the tears that were clearly beginning to well in his eyes.

“Shit, sorry,” the rapper quickly apologized. “I’m not mad at you, Hannie. I’m just worried.”

“We both are,” Chan added. “Now, can you tell us what all you did last night?”

Jisung took a second to urge the tears away and better collect himself. Chan and Changbin waited patiently.

While the youngest was trying to figure out what to tell the other two and what to lie about, he looked up at them and his mind blanked. Their faces were so open and unjudging; Jisung felt himself crack. He couldn’t lie.

“I– I still had some work I had to do on my own part,” he began, inwardly, cursing his shaky voice. “But I saw you both look like you were about to pass out and I couldn’t just sit there and let you keep working, so I lied. I told you that I finished and I could work on yours because I just wanted you guys to have one good night of sleep for once and not look half-dead all the time. It looked especially bad and I was still pretty awake, so I thought I could finish all of it by myself. I obviously couldn’t and I stayed out later than I would’ve liked.” He hesitated and dropped his gaze for what he was about to admit next. “I didn’t get back until the sun was rising. I got less than an hour of sleep before Channie woke me up… And I was slow getting ready, so I didn’t have time to eat before we left.”

The silence stretched on for longer than Jisung was comfortable with. His chest felt like it was on fire and there was a static sound in his ears.

“I’m sorry,” he barely whispered, wishing for the silence to end.

Strong arms wrapped around him and Jisung was happy to melt into the familiar hold. He could recognize the feel of Changbin’s muscular arms anywhere. He always loved the feel of the older rapper’s hug, they were so warm and safe.

“Don’t be sorry,” Changbin comforted quietly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I lied to you.” Jisung’s voice was muffled as he pressed his face closer to Changbin.

“You just wanted us to sleep.”

“I–”

“You were looking out for us,” Chan interrupted. “We appreciate it, but you forgot to look out for yourself also.”

“You’re supposed to be the baby of 3RACHA,” complained Changbin. “You shouldn’t have to look after us.”

“We’re sorry we made you take on that responsibility,” Chan said.

Jisung looked to the leader with a pout. “You didn’t make me do anything. Don’t start feeling bad or else I’m gonna feel worse.”

Chan chuckled and reached back to mess with Jisung’s hair. “Sorry, Hannie. I promise I’ll try not to feel too bad. You should definitely get some sleep though. Rest,” he ordered gently, “then I’ll personally feed you when we get back to the dorm.”

“I can feed myself,” Jisung muttered, but didn’t turn down Chan’s offer.

Chan started the car and Changbin moved to the center seat so he could stay holding Jisung without having to stretch across the whole backseat. The youngest was seated comfortably with Changbin’s arm around his shoulders, his head resting on the muscular boy’s shoulder. He was asleep before Chan started driving.

·:*¨༺ 𖤓 ༻¨*:·

When they got back to the dorm, Jisung was still fast asleep.

“I know we said he would eat when we got back,” Changbin said quietly, “but I don’t think we should wake him up. He needs this.”

Chan nodded with a frown. “I agree.”

After a pause, Changbin said, “Don’t start feeling guilty.”

“What? I didn’t say anything!”

“You didn’t have to,” Changbin said with a pointed look. “You’re face says everything for you. If you feel guilty, then I should feel guiltier.”

“How does that make sense?” questioned Chan.

“You were out of it last night,” Changbin explained. “I was more aware that leaving Jisung behind was a dumb idea, but I was being selfish and wanted to go to sleep, so I agreed to let him stay without anyone to look after him.”

“We’re both at fault for that, but I’m the leader. I should know better than to leave one of my kids behind. This is my fault.”

Changbin huffed. “What did I just say?”

“But, I–”

“No,” Changbin snapped, still making sure to keep his voice down to not wake the sleeping boy. “No more guilty feelings. I still feel bad and I know you do too, but we can’t fix what’s already happened. We just have to help him feel better now. We’ll stay with him while he sleeps and once he wakes up, we feed him immediately. Sound good?”

Chan nodded. He put on a brave face, but Changbin knew that he was still being hard on himself in his mind. There wasn’t much more the rapper could do to make the older feel better, so he guessed this was as good as it was going to get.

With minimal struggle, Chan helped Changbin get Jisung out of the car. Changbin carried the younger boy bridal style up to the dorm.

As expected, the other car had gotten back before them. Which meant that when Chan opened the door, he was met with Hyunjin who was moving around in the kitchen, grabbing a snack. Chan opened his mouth to greet the dancer, but once Hyunjin saw Jisung asleep in Changbin’s arms, he turned and left the kitchen, moving towards his room. He closed the door behind him, but he didn’t slam it like he had in the practice room. Chan hoped this meant he was in a better mood, even if it was only a little bit better.

Wordlessly, the older two brought Jisung to his bed. They had taken his shoes off for him at the door and they decided that they weren’t about to try to change Jisung’s clothes without waking him up, so they tucked him in with his day clothes still on. Changbin joined him under the covers and pulled the smaller rapper to his chest protectively. Chan pulled up a chair and sat on it next to the bed. He started messing with Jisung’s hair just how he knew the rapper liked.

Hours passed but Chan and Changbin never moved. They heard Hyunjin move around the dorm through the closed door, but he never came near Jisung’s bedroom door. Chan didn’t know what to do about him. During practice he had tried to reason with the dancer, but Jisung had stopped him. He knew Jisung’s reason for being in a bad mood, but he still didn’t know Hyunjin’s excuse.

Unfortunately, Chan recognized this behavior. His pre-debut memories were coming back – and not the fond ones. There were so many times that Hyunjin and Jisung would fight, verbally and almost physically sometimes. The members had always been able to break up the fighting and cool the two down. This time, it was weird. They’d gotten so close that the fans had even given them the nickname SamSung. Chan found it adorable and he could never imagine the two boys fighting again, they were just too close now. But, apparently, he had been wrong.

Chan was knocked out of his thoughts when Jisung groaned and snuggled closer to Changbin.

“You awake, Hannie?” Changbin asked, hugging him tighter.

“No,” he grumbled.

Chan chuckled and rubbed his head fondly. “I know you’re still tired, but I want you to eat something while you’re awake, ‘kay?”

“Mmm… fine.”

Before Jisung could argue, Changbin scooped him up and carried him to the kitchen. Chan noted that Hyunjin’s door was now closed and he couldn’t hear any movement despite having heard the dancer moving around moments before they exited Jisung’s room. Chan wanted to say something to the dancer, but he didn’t want to upset him anymore than he already was.

“Don’t.”

Chan looked back at Jisung.

“Leave him alone,” Jisung said. “Let him cool off. I’m sure he’ll be better tomorrow.”

“He better be,” grumbled Changbin. “We have to practice with the props tomorrow.”

Jisung had forgotten about that. The next day, Stray Kids planned to practice on a stage they would be performing on the next week. They were making sure everything would be ready for them, so they were working with all the lighting and all the props of an actual concert. Now Jisung really hoped Hyunjin would be in a better mood. He didn’t want to have to practice with him on a stage while he was still pissy.

“Good news,” Chan announced, looking up from his phone. Jisung hadn’t even seen him pull it out. “Minho is feeling better. Felix checked his temperature and he’s all good. I’ll make him take it easy, but he’ll be joining us on the stage tomorrow.”

Jisung knew what Chan was conveying without words. This meant that Minho would be leading the dance practice instead of Hyunjin. That fact took some weight off Jisung’s shoulders.

He kept the hopeful thought of Minho in his mind while Chan and Changbin got him to eat a whole meal instead of the snack he was planning on having after dance practice. He hated to admit it, but it felt good to be taken care of while he was still feeling down about his mistakes during the practice. Being tired for so long to being treated like a princess was a nice change.

Jisung tried to not dwell on his failures of that day, instead, he chose to focus on the fact that Minho would be there for him tomorrow. At least that meant he wouldn’t get yelled at for every small move he messed up.

·:*¨༺ 𖤓 ༻¨*:·

It didn’t stop Hyunjin from yelling at him.

“Jisung, seriously, again?” Hyunjin stormed over and yelled in his face.

Despite the height difference, Jisung maintained eye contact with the dancer, determined not to back down first. He was getting sick of Hyunjin’s attitude and the fact that he only seemed to be lashing out at Jisung.

A hand pushed Hyunjin back, keeping some distance between him and Jisung.

“Hyunjin,” Minho snapped, keeping his hand between the two, “cool it.”

Hyunjin scoffed. “Of course you’re on his side.”

“I’m not on anyone’s side, but it’s clear that Hannie is tired, and yelling at him won’t change that.”

“But you’re against me,” Hyunjin stated, crossing his arms. “And you call that not picking a side?”

Minho narrowed his eyes.

“Don’t,” Jisung said quietly, hoping only Minho would hear him.

The older dancer glanced back at Jisung and sighed. “I’m calling a break!” He looked to Chan, who nodded.

“You heard him,” the leader said, clapping his hands. “Break time. Hydrate, take a breather.”

Jisung quickly made his way to the side of the stage opposite of Hyunjin. The stage they were on was smaller than what they were used to. JYP had assigned them to perform for a charity so a percent of the money spent on tickets would go to a good cause. Chan had agreed like the boyscout he was, but when they arrived, it was clear that he had some doubts. The other members were just as uneasy. The moment they stepped onto the stage, the wood had creaked underneath them. The rafters and lights above them seemed stable, but the group couldn’t help but notice the way they swung a little every time their choreo had them all jump or stomp their feet too hard.

As Jisung drank his water, he noticed that Minho was making his way over to him. Jisung gave him a water bottle when he was closer. Minho accepted it with a nod.

After taking a sip, he asked, “Was he this bad yesterday?”

“Worse.”

Minho humed and stared out at the empty seats beyond the stage. “Sorry I wasn’t there.”

Jisung shook his head. “You’re health is more important. I’m just happy you’re feeling better.”

“Your health is important, too,” Minho commented. Then he confirmed Jisung’s fears by saying, “Chan told me everything.”

Jisung groaned and muttered, “Snitch.”

“Han-ah,” Minho said seriously, “if you feel tired or anything, let me know and I can make us take a break.”

Guilt started to seep into Jisung’s stomach. He didn’t want to hold the group back if he was getting tired. Hyunjin had said that the other day and it was true. The rest of them shouldn’t have to wait for him to catch up.

“We’re good,” Minho said. “The practice today is just for us to get used to the new stage and comfortable with our movements here. You won’t be holding us back or stopping us from accomplishing anything new. We’ve got everything down, so don’t worry.”

Again, Jisung marveled at how attuned Minho was. Despite his nonchalant outside, he always paid close attention to everyone and everything. Close enough attention to know exactly what was weighing on Jisung’s mind without spoken words.

“Thanks, Min,” Jisung said, setting his water bottle back down. “I’m good now. Let’s get back to it.”

The group got back together in the middle of the stage and continued to run through the positions for the songs they planned to perform. Jisung felt like he was floating. Somehow he wasn’t making mistakes anymore and they didn’t have to stop in the middle of any of the songs. Maybe Jisung was finally starting to wake up. Or maybe it was Minho’s words taking the weight from his shoulders and assuring him that no matter what happens, he won’t be holding anyone back.

Hyunjin was too distracted with making sure his movements were perfect to bother Jisung anymore. The rest of the group could feel the air shift as the tension dissipated. The only voice that rose above their dancing was Minho’s, instructing their movement and keeping them on beat. No more shouts of anger at missed steps or tiny mistakes.

They were at the finale and they were feeling confident, letting their jumps and stomping gather more force so the contact with the old wood echoed throughout the empty seating they faced.

Near the end of their last song, Jisung jumped stage-right and Chan went the other way. They both crouched and looked across the members at each other. Chan gave him a look that asked if he was doing okay. Jisung nodded and flashed him a smile. A real smile. Minho had really put Jisung at ease and he had gotten his groove back. How could anything be wrong?

A sound from above caught Jisung’s ear. Creaking. Metal on metal. He looked up from his position on the ground. He was vaguely aware of the positions of the other members: Chan still at stage-left; Minho and Felix were in the back, messing around since they weren’t singing; Seungmin and Jeongin were singing facing each other farther up the stage; Changbin was behind them, in between the two duos, rapping expertly; Hyunjin was about to step forward, away from everyone else.

The sound above them was getting louder and rhythmic. A continuous squeaking that scraped Jisung’s brain. How was no one else hearing it? He searched for the source of the sound in the rafters.

That’s when he saw it. The moment Hyunjin stepped away from Seungmin and Jeongin, a light fixture above them shuttered. The bracket holding it up was jiggling threateningly.

Jisung’s stomach clenched when he realized. The bracket must’ve been slowly getting looser throughout the performance, unscrewing with every jump and heavy step. And it was finally giving up on holding the lights–

It snapped off.

In a split second, Jisung anticipated where the light would swing down and… it would swing right into the area where Hyunjin was standing.

Fuck.

Before he could think, Jisung was moving. He screamed, “BACK!” at Seungmin and Jeongin as he rushed past them.

Hyunjin turned quickly, facing Jisung – who was interrupting his center moment. His glare quickly shifted to confusion when he saw Jisung sprinting towards him.

With outstretched arms, Jisung shoved Hyunjin, hard. The momentum threw Hyunjin to the ground and he rolled in Chan’s direction.

Relief settled over Jisung’s heart, but the screech of metal immediately flushed out the sense of accomplishment as he realized that he was now in danger.

Jisung took a step, aiming to follow Hyunjin–

Then the world slowed down.

A large, solid mass collided into Jisung’s back. He knew he should be in pain, but the moment the light structure hit him, Jisung was numb all over. He had the sense to register that he was airborne for a few seconds as his stomach dipped like he was on a rollercoaster. When he hit the ground, his head bounced on the wood of the stage, leaving a dull throb on his temple. He blinked slowly as his vision grew fuzzy accompanied by an annoying ringing in his ears.

Someone yelled, but to Jisung, the words were too muffled to make out. He tried to raise his head, but he couldn’t seem to make himself move. The position he was sprawled in, allowed him to see everyone except Chan and Hyunjin. Minho and Felix were frozen, staring with wide eyes. Changbin was on the ground with Seungmin and Jeongin pulled close, one in each arm. Somehow, Jisung’s fuzzy mind connected the dots that Changbin must’ve pulled the two youngest away when Jisung had yelled at them to get back.

Jisung felt a measured vibration thumping on the stage. He tried to find a beat to it, maybe to make a new song to, but the noise was too unstable and frantic sounding.

Suddenly, Chan dropped into Jisung’s line of sight. He looked worried. Jisung’s mind flatlined, assuming that the only reason Chan would be looking like that was if Jisung hadn’t gotten there in time. He was sure that he had gotten Hyunjin to safety, so why did Chan still look so scared?

The rapper tried to move his head again, desperate to look in the direction of where Hyunjin had fallen. He opened his mouth to question Chan, but all that came out was a whimper and he was swiftly pulled into darkness like an unexpected riptide.

·:*¨༺ 𖤓 ༻¨*:·

Chan blamed himself for how badly everything went. When they first arrived, he didn’t trust the look of the stage. Old and creaky. He should’ve known things would go wrong. He was planning on saying something to Minho during a water break, but the dancer was stuck to Jisung’s side like a magnet. Chan didn’t want to disturb them or cause more stress for Jisung with the mention of the faulty stage.

By the final song, Chan was distracted by the mood shift. Whatever Minho had said to Jisung at the last water break had changed something in the rapper. He wasn’t as tense while dancing and he didn’t make any noticeable mistakes. Hyunjin stopped yelling at him and Chan could tell the rest of the boys relaxed more and more as the performance went on.

Crouched at the side of the stage, Chan had a perfect view of Jisung. He gave the boy a pointed look, clearly trying to make sure he was doing okay. Jisung replied with a nod and a pure smile. Chan’s heart melted. He would be lying if he said he didn’t care extra deeply about Jisung. He was his first Stray Kid, how could Chan not be constantly worrying over him?

That being said, imagine how his heart shattered the moment he saw everything fall apart before his eyes. Everything happened within seconds, but it felt like it took years for Chan’s mind to catch up with what he had just witnessed. He noticed Jisung looking around strangely before settling on something above him. Then he was leaping into action, sprinting across the stage towards Hyunjin, yelling at the maknaes to get back. Chan was distracted for a moment as his eyes followed Changbin when he grabbed the youngest boys, pulling them backwards as he fell with them, cushioning Seungmin and Jeongin’s landing with himself.

A thump brought Chan’s attention back to the front of the stage. Hyunjin had hit the ground and rolled towards him. Chan stood and took a step forward, planning to help Hyunjin, but stopped when he looked past Hyunjin.

His world slowed when he saw Jisung. The boy was wearing a face that shone with victory as he watched Hyunjin fall to the ground. Then, as Chan watched, his face shifted to horror and he tried to take a step forward. Unfortunately, Hyunjin’s fate was bestowed upon Jisung.

Chan watched, frozen, as the light fixture swung down and slammed into Jisung. The boy’s body was off the ground and then right back on the ground within seconds.

Everything was silent for a few ticks. Then Hyunjin sat up, rubbed his elbow that had slammed into the ground, and looked back at where he had been standing. He froze.

“Jisung…” Hyunjin breathed, barely louder than a whisper. Then he cried out, “Hannie!”

Hyunjin tried to move toward the bleeding boy, but his limbs refused, keeping him stiff in his place.

His scream had shaken Chan out of his paralysis. The leader stumbled forward, scrambling to his first kid with uneven, sloppy steps. He didn’t care where his feet landed; he just had to get to Jisung. His legs gave out as he got closer and he landed on his knees in front of Jisung. Chan’s hands were shaking as he reached for the injured boy. He stopped himself, not wanting to touch Jisung in fear of making something worse.

Chan was staring at his shaking hands when he saw Jisung’s body twitch. His eyes were wide with worry, trying to look around. His muscles were tense like he was trying to move as hard as he could. He opened his mouth and a broken noise came out. Chan’s breath hitched as Jisung’s eyes rolled up and his body went limp.

“Han-ah?” Chan’s voice cracked. He couldn’t stop himself anymore; he reached a hand out and lightly brushed Jisung’s bangs away from his eyes.

“Chan…”

He looked up. Changbin was staring down at Jisung, standing over them both. His eyes were wet but he refused to let any tears fall out.

“I don’t know–” Chan felt his throat close. He looked back at the rest of his members. Minho had taken Changbin’s place by the maknaes, comforting them by rubbing their backs gently. A nice gesture, but Chan could see the look on his face. Minho was horrified and doing a terrible job of hiding the quiver in his lip. He was staring, unblinking, at Jisung’s unconscious body. In his arms, Seungmin was looking at the ground in front of him, breathing heavily; Jeongin had a hand covering his mouth as silent tears rolled down his cheeks.

Looking around some more, Chan found Felix hugging Hyunjin, who was still stuck in the same spot he fell. Felix was facing away from Jisung as he clung onto Hyunjin. Chan could see his mouth moving, but none of Felix’s words reached him. In Felix’s embrace, Hyunjin’s mouth was open slightly and his eyes were still wide as tears pooled in them. He didn’t look like he could hear any of the comforting words Felix was whispering in his ear.

“Chan,” Changbin said again, firmer this time. He had a brave look on his face. Braver than Chan. “We have to do something.”

‘Something’ was too vague. Chan couldn’t think straight with Jisung like this in front of him. The leader looked back down at him and his breathing became frantic. Jisung looked broken and small laying in the mess of glass and blood. Chan didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He looked back up at Changbin with pleading eyes.

Changbin understood. He straightened himself and blinked the tears away.

“Felix,” Changbin said loud and clear. Everyone turned towards him, respecting the composed voice within the chaos. “Get Hyunjin and the maknaes out of here, check them for injuries.” He wasn’t worried about Minho or Felix being hurt since they were the farthest away from the disaster and if Changbin himself didn’t get hurt, they couldn’t have. “Minho,” he continued, “get your phone. Call an ambulance.”

Minho blinked out of his trance and nodded curtly. “Go to Felix,” he instructed the youngest two.

Jeongin rushed to help Felix get Hyunjin to his feet. Seungmin moved slowly, looking like a zombie as he followed after them, risking one last glance over his shoulder at Jisung. He could feel the hot tears building up behind his eyes, but he forced them down. Jeongin and Hyunjin were already crying. He couldn’t let Felix deal with all of them while he was clearly keeping his own tears at bay. Seungmin shook his head and placed a comforting hand on the small of Jeongin’s back as they started towards the back of the stage. He could be there for his members too. He was determined to help Felix.

With Jeongin’s help, Felix was able to get Hyunjin to his feet. The tallest’s legs were shaking and it took all Felix had not to collapse along with him. He couldn’t handle seeing his sunshine twin in such a state. He was focusing on keeping his eyes away from the front of the stage. Trying to keep the image of the limp body on the floor out of his head. It was no use. Once he had seen Jisung like that, it wasn’t leaving; the image stayed in his mind like a screenshot saved to a phone. Felix could feel Jeongin shaking as he helped with Hyunjin and a new wave of emotions washed over him. He was grateful that the maknae was there to help. Out of the corner of his eye, Felix could also see Seungmin, rubbing Jeongin’s back softly as he rapidly blinked his eyes, staring straight ahead.

Even with the soft hand on his back, Jeongin couldn’t feel comforted. He was aware that he was shaking but he couldn’t help it. Although he was technically the youngest, there had been many times that he had seen Jisung as a little brother. Always goofing around and always so full of energy. Seeing him be so down the last few days had made Jeongin’s gut twist painfully. And now to see him like this… Jeongin was trying his best to remain calm, but he could feel himself slowly coming undone.

There was only one word that could describe what Hyunjin was feeling: numb. Everything around him was muffled as blood rushed in his ears. His eyes stung with unblinked tears. His emotions were so varied and heightened that he couldn’t discern anything he was feeling. The only thing he was positive he was feeling was guilt, a lot of it. If he could move his limp arms, Hyunjin would have smacked himself. Jisung got hurt. Jisung got hurt because of him. And moments before the younger had sacrificed his safety for Hyunjin, Hyunjin was mad at him because he was messing up their performance again by shouting and rushing at him. The guilt burned in Hyunjin’s stomach, making him feel like he just had a large helping of lava. He was struggling to breathe as his throat was constricting while he struggled to control the tears that were cascading down his face.

Hyunjin got one last glance at Jisung before Felix and Jeongin got him backstage. Just like the front of the stage, the back was basically in ruins. Suddenly, rage flooded Hyunjin’s veins. How could this stage possibly be cleared to perform on? It was rundown and old, literally falling apart at the seams. If they didn’t perform here, Jisung wouldn’t have gotten hurt.

Once the four were backstage, Felix took a deep breath.

“Is everyone okay?”

Jeongin’s nod was small. Seungmin hummed.

“Jisung isn’t,” Hyunjin said.

Felix didn’t want to lie and say everything would be okay. “Chan’s with him. And Minho and Changbin. They’ll help him.”

“I should be there, too,” Hyunjin insists sadly. “I’m part of the hyung line; I should be looking out for the younger members. Instead, I’ve been fighting with Jisung for stupid reasons. I’ve made him feel like shit these last few days and now he’s hurt because of me.”

“Stop it,” Seungmin demanded. “Just because you’re one of the oldest doesn’t mean anything. Do you know how many times Jeongin and I have helped Chan when he’s feeling like shit? Besides, you’re still the same year as me, Jisung, and Felix. You’re nowhere near old-man-age… like Chan.”

“And it’s not your fault,” Jeongin chimed in quietly. “The stage is old and rickety. We shouldn’t even be on it in the first place.”

Gentle circles were rubbed on Hyunjin’s back and he looked over at Felix. Tears were running down his face while his lips were forced into a painful smile.

“I know you have some regrets, but that can all be sorted out later, yeah?” Felix encouraged.

“I might not be able to talk to Jisung again,” Hyunjin said, more to himself.

“You will,” Jeongin said firmly. “Hannie will be fine and you can give him the biggest hug ever.”

“You didn’t see how hard he was hit.” Hyunjin shuddered just thinking about it. “The glass of the light broke when they hit him. The metal of it slammed into his back. And his face… He looked terrified.” The dancer looked to Felix with pleading eyes. “Why did he do that? It should’ve been me. Why did he have to get in the way?”

“He loves you,” Felix said simply, swiping a thumb on Hyunjin’s cheek; trying to stop some of the tears. “Just like how I know you love him. How we all love each other. We’re family and we would do anything for each other.”

“How can you say that I love him?” asked Hyunjin desperately. “Have you seen the way I’ve been treating him?”

“I know it’s not good, but I know that you have a reason and you would never treat one of us like that unless something else was happening with you.”

“It’s stupid.”

Felix shook his head. “We won’t judge.”

Hyunjin bit his lip. “Jisung should be the first to hear my pathetic reason.”

Reluctantly, Felix nodded. “I understand.”

The aussie held the taller dancer tightly. He felt Seungmin scoot closer to his side and he could feel Jeongin cuddle into Hyunjin’s other side. They sat like that for a while before they heard footsteps approaching. None of them felt like moving.

“How is everyone holding up?” It was Minho.

“Where’s Jisung?” Hyunjin asked immediately.

“Ambulance,” said Minho. “I figured 3RACHA should stay together right now. Chan was looking a bit lost and Changbin looked like he was about to pass out from the stress, but they’ll be fine. I trust them to watch over Han-ah.”

Hyunjin sniffed. “I’m sorry.”

“Why’re you apologizing, Jinnie?” Minho asked gently.

“He’s hurt because of me.”

Minho shook his head and kneeled in front of the younger dancer. “You didn’t do anything. He got hurt helping you. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But everything before–”

“Let’s not focus on that right now.” Minho looked at all four of them. “Is everyone okay physically? Anyone hurt?”

Everyone shook their heads.

“That’s good,” Minho said.

“Are you okay?” asked Jeongin.

Minho smiled and petted the maknae’s head. “Yes, Innie, I’m okay.”

“What do we do now?” Seungmin asked.

“Well, we have two options,” Minho said. “We can go to the hospital right now and wait until Hannie is in a stable enough condition for us to see him, or we can go back to the dorms and grab some things before going to the hospital.”

“I want to go to the hospital,” was Hyunjin’s immediate reply.

“I know you do,” Minho said, “but I think it would be smarter to get a change of clothes first. Not just for us. Chan and Changbin are going to need some new clothes.” He thought back to the blood that was already on Chan’s pants from kneeling next to Jisung.

“But, Hannie–”

“He’ll be okay,” Felix assured Hyunjin. “Minho’s right. We should gather ourselves before going to the hospital.”

“The car is already waiting for us,” Minho informed.

“One car?” Jeongin questioned. “Will there be space for all of us?”

“We’ll squeeze,” replied Minho. “I don’t want us separating right now.”

The next minutes were a blur as the remaining members piled into the car and they were driven to the dorms. They changed into comfier clothes and grabbed some for 3RACHA. They gathered some snacks that would last and tucked them into their bags. Then, everyone was back in the car, heading to the hospital.

When they arrived, Minho was leading the way. Hyunjin and Felix were behind him, Felix with his arm wrapped around Hyunjin as the taller dancer mindlessly walked forward. The maknaes were in the back; Seungmin gripping Jeongin’s hand like a lifeline and Jeongin rubbing circles onto the other vocalist’s hand with a gentle thumb, comforting them both.

Once they were inside, Minho looked around and spotted Changbin. He was wearing a mask and a hat that hung low, but Minho could easily identify him as their muscular rapper. Making sure the younger members were still following him, Minho quickly made his way over to Changbin. He was sitting on a small couch, hunched over and tapping his foot impatiently. As they got closer, Changbin’s head shot up.

“Minho,” he said, relief flooding his voice.

Minho sat down on the couch next to him and immediately brought him into a tight hug.

“How are you doing, Binnie?” Minho asked gently.

Taking a second to collect himself, Changbin sunk into the dancer’s hold. He had no idea why Minho would ever get hate for being mean or cold, he was the most caring person Changbin had ever met. He took a few more moments, soaking in the comfort that Minho’s hold provided, before answering.

“I’m trying,” Changbin answered truthfully. “Chan is talking with some doctor. I honestly don’t know what to do. I feel useless just sitting here. I want to help Hannie. I want to help Chan. But I can’t do anything!”

“You’ve already done so much,” Minho assured. “You stayed calm when you saw Chan panicking. You took charge and took that weight off his shoulders. You don’t have to do anything more. I’ve got you, okay?”

Felix sat on Changbin’s other side and latched onto his arm tightly. “We’ve got you,” he emphasized.

Seungmin didn’t say anything as he approached Changbin. He just sat on the rapper’s lap and leaned back to rest on him. It was comforting to Changbin; having all of his dongsaengs and his hyung surrounding him.

Jeongin was hanging back with Hyunjin. The dancer had barely talked the entire time since they left the stage. When Felix left Hyunjin to comfort Changbin, the tall boy hadn’t even moved an inch, just stared at the ground with empty eyes. Jeongin quickly shifted to be next to him when Seungmin let go of his hand to also join Changbin. Jeongin took Hyunjin’s hand gently and began rubbing it like he had been with Seungmin’s.

“Hyung?” the maknae said quietly. Hyunjin looked at him. “Do you want to sit down?”

Hyunjin nodded so small that Jeongin could’ve missed it if he wasn’t paying close attention to the dancer.

Minho must’ve heard the one-sided conversation. He stood and motioned towards the empty seat next to Changbin. Jeongin nodded his thanks and led Hyunjin forward with a small tug on his hand. Hyunjin followed mindlessly, going limp the instant he sat down. Changbin was quick to wrap a secure arm around his shoulders.

“How are you?” Changbin questioned.

“I’m the worst.”

Changbin blinked. “That’s not true at all. Why would you say that?”

“Jisung is hurt because of me.”

Minho sighed and sat down next to Hyunjin, rubbing his leg lightly. “I thought we all agreed that this couldn’t be your fault. Did you make the light fall?”

“…No.”

“See?” Minho said, like it was obvious. “Not your fault.”

“But I still feel guilty,” Hyunjin said.

“I feel guilty too,” admitted Changbin.

“You?” Hyunjin questioned. “Why do you feel guilty?”

“I didn’t stop him.” Changbin stared at the ground. “He ran past and yelled to get back. I knew that meant he was running towards the danger, but I didn’t think of him. In the moment, I only thought of Minnie and Innie. I didn’t want our maknaes to get hurt, and I totally ignored Hannie's rash behavior.” He looked up at Minho, guilt flooding his features. “Jisung is still part of the maknae line. Sure, he’s older, but I should’ve been thinking of him too. I let him down.”

It was Felix who spoke next. “You did the right thing,” the sunshine said. “You protected the two youngest. Even if you tried to stop Hannie, I doubt you would’ve been able to.” Felix chuckled. “When Hannie wants to do something, he’ll do it no matter what. What happened isn’t anyone’s fault and the only way it could’ve been avoided was if we never practiced on the stage to begin with.”

A new voice: “I’m sorry.”

Everyone turned to see the new addition to their pity party: Chan. He looked terrible. There was still some blood splattered on his clothes from holding Jisung. His eyes were still puffy from crying and his eyebrows were in a permanent worry-crease.

After a length of silence, Hyunjin simply asked, “Why?”

Chan refused to look any of them in the eye. “I allowed us to go in that stage even though it looked like it was falling apart.”

“Chan–”

“No!” he interrupted Minho. “I saw what condition the stage was in, but I didn’t want to go against the higher up’s. I was too scared to speak against them and now Han-ah is suffering for it. I should’ve never let us step foot on that stage. I should’ve noticed what Han-ah was looking at when he was staring up. I should’ve been able to reach him before the light did. I should’ve protected him. I failed as a leader and I failed as his friend.” Chan took a breath. “It’s all my fault.”

“Can we stop?” Seungmin finally spoke up.

“Seungmin?” Chan looked at the second youngest.

He sighed. “Enough with all the self-blaming. Hannie would slap all of you for talking like this. You know he won’t blame any of you for his own actions, so why are you?”

“But if I–” Chan started.

“No!” Seungmin hissed, still keeping his voice down as he was mindful of the people around them. “I’m tired of all of you blaming yourselves! If Han was about to get hit by the light and we had the opportunity to save him, would we?”

“Yes!”

“Absolutely.”

“Of course we would.”

“Is that even a question?”

Seungmin asked, “Would you still help him if it would put you in danger?”

They all nodded.

“How would you feel if he was drowning in self-hatred for someone getting hurt trying to help him?”

They sat in silence, running through Seungmin’s logic.

“I would never want Hannie to hate himself because of my actions,” Chan finally said.

“And he would never want you to hate yourself because of his actions,” Seungmin said. “Do you understand?”

After a moment, Chan couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “I’m sorry, Seungmin. You’re right. I’ll try to stop thinking this way. We all need to. Let’s focus on what we can do right now.” His face grew serious. “I talked to the doctor.”

Everyone sat up straighter, listening intently.

“He told me that Hannie has a concussion and a few cuts and bruises. The glass from the lights pierced his skin and they had to take him into surgery to remove the pieces. Honestly, he told me that Han-ah was really lucky to not break anything or have any more serious injuries. Once he wakes up, they’ll keep him for the night to watch over his symptoms and make sure there isn’t anything else wrong.”

There was a moment of silence as everything sunk in.

“You’re telling me that Hannie got hit by the lights, thrown across the stage, landed on his head… and all he has is a concussion and some scratches?” Minho exclaimed. Then he chuckled in astonishment and shook his head. “What the hell, Jisung.”

The door to the waiting room opened. A doctor stuck her head out and called, “For Han Jisung?”

Seven hands shot in the air. She made her way over to them.

Checking the clipboard in her hand, she said, “Han Jisung is awake and responsive right now, but we can only have two visitors back at once.” She looked up, scanning the crowd of seven.

Minho spoke first. “I think 3RACHA should be together first.”

Everyone agreed. Chan and Changbin followed the doctor as the rest of the boys stayed sitting, getting into a comfortable huddle. They were relieved that Jisung would be okay, but they were still anxious to see him. Of course, they all wanted to be the first to see him but they knew it was only fair to let Chan and Changbin be with their trio’s maknae.

·:*¨༺ 𖤓 ༻¨*:·

Jisung was sitting up slightly in his bed. He didn’t want to be lying down, but he also didn’t want to be fully up. His head was pounding with each movement, so he was stuck just staring at the wall in front of him. Luckily, the doctor had dimmed the lights in his room, helping to lessen the ache in his head.

While he was waiting, Jisung kept trying to remember what exactly happened, but trying to think right now was like letting a stampede of horses run free in his skull. He just hoped everyone was okay. If he had ended up in the hospital, Jisung was worried someone else might have gotten hurt, too. The doctor hadn’t told him anything; they were more worried about making sure he was okay.

Feeling the headache worsen, Jisung closed his eyes and tried to let his mind go blank.

“He’s right in here,” he heard a female voice say. One of the doctors, he assumed.

Probably here to ask more questions. Jisung kept his eyes closed, hoping that if they thought he was asleep, they would leave.

He heard the door close and the sound of someone shuffling closer.

“I thought they said he was awake,” a hushed voice said.

A familiar voice.

“Binnie?” Jisung questioned, cracking an eye open.

He could see the elder physically relax at the sound of Jisung’s voice. He hurried to the side of the hospital bed with Chan close behind.

“How are you feeling, Han-ah?” Chan asked gently.

Jisung shrugged. “Could be better.”

“You’re an idiot,” Changbin huffed, “you know that?”

Another shrug, this one with a small chuckle. “Sometimes.”

Changbin has been wearing a serious face, pinched up and tense, but it started to crumble. Seeing Jisung in the hospital bed, practically swallowed by the bedding, Changbin couldn’t hold it back anymore. He had been stuck by himself while Chan was talking with the doctors and the others were getting their things. Finally being able to see Jisung after being able to have everyone within arms length – Changbin felt his emotions overflowing.

And Jisung saw them.

His lips quivered and his eyes got moist. Jisung motioned for him to come closer. Chan was right next to his bed, but Changbin had hung back as he had gotten closer. As if he would somehow hurt Jisung if he got too close.

Taking tentative steps, Changbin made his way forward. Chan moved to the side. When Changbin get to bed he kneeled down so his head was level to Jisung’s.

Jisung reached out and wiped the tears from his face. “Are you okay, Binnie?”

He had to laugh. “You don’t get to ask me that.” Changbin frowned. “Look at you.”

“And look at you,” Jisung said. “Your eyes look like you’ve been crying for hours. You look so tired. You didn’t have to worry so much.”

“Yes, he did,” Chan said. “We all did. Hannie, we thought you got injured badly. You have no idea how lucky you are that you weren’t seriously hurt.”

Jisung’s throat constricted. “I have some idea.”

Chan and Changbin immediately caught on to the edge in his voice, like he was working hard to hold himself together.

“Do you remember what happened?” Chan asked.

“I’ve been trying,” Jisung confessed, his voice small. “It hurts my head to think too hard. All I can remember is that Hyunjin was in danger and I had to help him. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“You got hurt,” Changbin said.

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“It could’ve been!” Chan’s voice was loud, startling the other two. He was just so done with his first kid thinking about the accident so lightly and downplaying how bad it could’ve been. “Jisung, you hit the ground hard. I saw it. You didn’t move– you couldn’t move. You looked so scared. I wanted to touch you, but I didn’t want to hurt you. Then… you lost consciousness and my mind went with it. I was completely useless.”

“Chan, respectfully, shut up.”

The leader looked at Changbin with surprise.

“Seungmin already told us to stop making ourselves feel bad,” Changbin said. “Don’t call yourself useless, okay?” He turned to Jisung. “And you. No more playing this off as nothing. You’re in the hospital, Jisung. You only have a concussion and some scratches, but we all know this could’ve been a lot worse. Don’t act like this isn’t affecting you, okay? We’re here for you, so don’t feel like you have to act strong for us right now.”

Jisung nodded.

“Sorry, Bin,” added Chan. “I’ll stop.”

Changbin sighed and shook his head. “Come here.”

Chan shuffled closer and squatted next to Changbin. The short rapper wrapped his arms around the other two, making sure to be more gentle with Jisung as he pulled them close.

“You two can be so difficult sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” Chan scoffed. “All of you boys constantly make my life difficult – in the best way possible.”

“I’m sorry I worried you guys,” Jisung said. “I just– I needed to help Hyunjin. He was in trouble…”

Chan nodded. “We know. We don’t blame you, no one blames you.”

“You acted on instinct,” Changbin said. “I did too, honestly. When you yelled at the maknaes to get back, I could only think about them, thinking they were in danger. I grabbed them and pulled them back without a second thought.”

“Thank you.”

Changbin blinked at the youngest. “For what?”

“I couldn’t get to them and help Hyunjin,” explained Jisung. “They were close so I was scared they would get hurt if the…” He trailed off. “Something was going to hit them–”

Chan ruffled his hair. “Don’t try to remember. It’ll come back to you on its own; no need to hurt your head anymore.”

Jisung nodded.

“Do you wanna see the rest of the kids?” Chan asked. “We can only have two of us come visit you at a time. Any preferences?”

Jisung shook his head. “Whoever wants to come next. If anyone isn’t comfortable, they don’t have to see me. I’m sure I’ll be out tomorrow and back at the dorms.”

Changbin chuckled. “I don’t think anyone wants to wait til tomorrow to see you.”

Jisung just shrugged. “I know how some of them can be. If it’s too hard, I don’t want to force them.”

“Are you talking about a certain crybaby?” Chan asked.

A small laugh. “Maybe.”

3RACHA shared a look. They all knew who they were talking about: a certain blond aussie who always seemed to end up crying during their concerts.

“He seemed fine when he joined us in the waiting room,” said Changbin.

“Although,” Chan added, “during everything that happened on stage… he kept himself from crying so he could comfort Hyunjin, but he wouldn’t look at you. It was like he was scared to see the state you were in.”

It would be a lie to say that Jisung didn’t feel something from those words. Not to be biased, but he really wanted to see his sunshine twin. Sure, the members were all as close as brothers, but Jisung felt a special connection to Felix. The possibility that Felix wouldn’t want to see him made his stomach drop. He felt the heat of tears behind his eyes, but willed them to stay away.

“It’s okay,” Jisung said. “Make sure he knows that I’ll understand if he doesn’t see me today. I don’t want him to do anything that’ll make him uncomfortable.”

“Yah,” Changbin mused. He reached over and squished Jisung’s face with his hands. “Why are you so caring?”

Jisung swatted him away.

They talked for a few more minutes until Chan said they should wrap it up. He explained that he didn’t want the other members to run out of time to visit with Jisung. The younger two agreed and finished their conversation.

Jisung waved as the two left, closing the door behind them. He was alone as he waited for the next two members to come see him. Jisung wondered who it would be.

As he was pondering who would be the next to enter, the door opened and a blur rushed in. Jisung barely had time to blink before a pair of arms were wrapped around him, then quickly unwrapped as the owner fretted that he would hurt Jisung.

“Hannie,” Felix choked out as fat tears rolled down his face.

Jisung chuckled and reached out for his retreating hands. “Hey, Lixie. You okay?”

“He's been holding his emotions back,” Minho answered for the younger dancer as he closed the door. He strolled over to the bed and ruffled Jisung’s hair as a greeting. “His dam finally burst when we got to your door. He started crying and rushed in before I could comfort him.”

Jisung cooed and caressed Felix’s hand with his thumb. “It’s okay, Lix. I’m okay.”

Felix just shook his head. His lip was quivering. “I’m sorry, Hannie. I couldn’t look at you. I was scared. It seemed too terrible to be true. I saw you laying on the ground and I– I just couldn’t–” He cut himself off with a small sob. “I distracted myself by helping Hyunjin. I’m sorry. I should’ve helped you but–”

“Is Hyunjin okay?” asked Jisung, suddenly worried.

“What?”

“You said you were helping Hyunjin. Is he okay?” Jisung pressed. “I thought I got him out of the way. Is he hurt? Is he in the hospital? Is he–”

“Hannie,” Minho interrupted. “He's okay. Everyone is okay. We’re all at the hospital, but only so we can see you.”

“But, Hyunjin–”

“Is fine,” insisted Minho. “He was just shaken up. We all were; some of us still are.”

To prove his point, Felix’s grip on Jisung’s hand tightened. “You scared us, Jisung,” Felix said. “Don’t do that again.”

“But if–”

“That won’t happen again because we’ve learned from this,” Minho said quickly. “From now on, if we see a stage that we aren’t completely positive is safe, we aren’t stepping foot on it. Chan’s talking to the higher-ups right now.”

Jisung nodded, unsure what to say.

Minho ran his fingers through Jisung’s hair again. The boy sighed contently and closed his eyes.

“Your head hurt?”

“A little,” Jisung said. “They gave me some meds, but it’s not keeping all the pain away.”

“How about we just visit in silence,” Minho suggested. “Lixie’s crying too much to form a sentence and you look more comfortable with your head being scratched quietly.”

“And you?”

The question gave Minho pause, but he quickly recovered, saying, “I’m just fine being able to touch you. To be able to see your chest move. You really did scare us, Hannie.”

“I’m sorry–”

“No more of that,” Felix hushed. “Too many people are apologizing and blaming themselves. Let’s just sit here, no thinking, yeah?”

After a moment, Jisung nodded. “Sounds good.”

Minho sat in the chair close to the bed, keeping his hand moving through Jisung’s hair soothingly. Jisung had scooted closer, making room for Felix to join him on the other side of the bed. For the rest of their time, Minho and Felix watched Jisung closely, watching as his breath raised his chest and his eyes moved behind his eyelids. Felix held Jisung’s hand so he could feel his pulse, counting the beats until they reached a hundred and starting again. Minho could feel Jisung slightly adjust his head, unconsciously telling Minho where he wanted to be massaged.

For Jisung, the time passed too quickly. He enjoyed talking to Changbin and having Chan be in the room with them, but he was tired of thinking and worrying. Being able to just live in the moment – focused only on Minho’s hand on his head and Felix’s hand in his – was all Jisung wanted right then.

When the time came, his soulmate and his twin made their way out the door, leaving Jisung alone while he waited for two more of his friends to come visit him.

“You’re so stupid,” was the first thing Jisung heard when the door opened.

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks, Minnie.”

“You really are,” Jeongin agreed.

The two youngest quickly walked to Jisung’s side. Jeongin looked at the machines around Jisung, most of them not active due to the mildness of his injuries. Seungmin was focused on Jisung, looking him over and taking in the bruising he could see, trying to not think of all he couldn’t see.

“How’re you feeling?” asked Seungmin.

“As good as I can,” Jisung said with a shrug.

“…Thank you.”

Jisung blinked. “For what?”

“You protected us,” Seungmin explained.

“I didn’t–”

“You got Changbin to grab us,” Jeongin said, tearing his eyes away from the hospital equipment. “You yelled at us to get back. Even though it wasn’t as physical as saving Hyunjin, you kept us safe, too.”

Seungmin nodded.

Jisung couldn’t take it. “I’m not a hero. I acted without thinking. I was irrational and impulsive. I was stupid, just like you said.”

“Jumping into action without thinking doesn’t make you stupid,” Seungmin argued, “it makes you selfless. You’re better than a hero.”

Jisung shook his head.

“Alright, no more of that,” Jeongin said before Jisung could deny it again. “I’m done with the crazy emotions, we’re gonna talk about something else now.”

“What else?”

“Anything else!” Jeongin exclaimed.

And that’s what they did. With Jeongin sitting on the foot of the bed, legs crossed, and Seungmin sitting on the side of the bed, the three of them made conversation that had nothing to do with the hospital, injuries, or performing. They just talked about anything to distract them from the situation.

There was a moment when reality broke through. It was when they were laughing. Jisung laughed too hard and his head began to pound. He paused and had to close his eyes, trying to get the pain under control. Seungmin and Jeongin were quick to quiet their voices and comfort him.

The rest of the time the youngest members were with him, they continued their mindless chatter, but made sure to keep it down. They didn’t want Jisung to be hurt anymore than he already was.

When their time was about to run out, Jisung grew quiet.

“What’s on your mind?” Seungmin asked, observant as always.

“Do you think he’ll want to see me?”

They knew who he was talking about. The only member who had yet to visit Jisung; the member who was arguing with Jisung for the last few days; the member who was pushed by Jisung: Hyunjin.

“Of course,” Jeongin replied immediately. “Why would he not?”

“He’s mad at me,” Jisung stated, thinking it was obvious.

“Was,” Seungmin stressed. “He was mad at you. That’s gone now. He’s been worried sick and feeling terrible about what happened. He thinks that he’s the reason you got hurt.”

“He didn’t make the light fall,” said Jisung, clearly confused.

“Yeah, but you got hurt because you were making sure he didn’t get hurt. In his mind, the only reason you got hurt was because he was saved.”

Jisung shook his head. “That makes no sense. He didn’t make me push him.”

Seungmin stood and motioned for Jeongin to follow him. “You can tell that to him when you see him. Our time is up.”

As they walked to the door, Jeongin turned back and quickly said, “I hope you feel better soon, hyung,” then closed the door.

Jisung was shocked. All the members had gotten so comfortable that they rarely used honorifics if they were off-camera. Jeongin barely sees Jisung as an elder half the time, so to hear him call Jisung “hyung” was a surprise.

He got over it fast, having more pressing matters on his mind. Like what he was going to say to Hyunjin. Would he even come? Sure, Seungmin said he would, but Jisung wasn’t so sure. He ruined the practice by getting hurt, and before that, in the practice room, he kept making mistakes. Ignoring Seungmin’s assurances, Jisung was sure that Hyunjin was furious.

A hesitant knock sounded at the door.

“It’s open,” Jisung tried to joke, but even he knew it fell flat.

The door opened slowly. First, just a crack to show a puffy eye. Then, fully to reveal the rest of the tall dancer, clothes creased and hair tousled. He looked like a mess. Unusually for the stylish member.

He slipped in and closed the door. All of his movements were quiet and timid, like he was unsure if he should be alone in the same room as Jisung. Unsure if he was even allowed to be near Jisung.

Tentatively, he made his way over to the chair that rested next to Jisung’s bed. He eased himself down, aware that he had yet to meet Jisung’s eyes. It didn’t feel right to. Despite the members’ comforting words, Hyunjin still felt at fault for the current state of Jisung.

Without warning, Hyunjin’s hand was grabbed and placed against Jisung’s chest. Startled, he looked at Jisung, their eyes locked and Hyunjin found that he couldn’t look away.

“Do you feel that?” asked Jisung.

Unsure of what he meant, Hyunjin shook his head.

“My heart beat,” Jisung clarified. “I’m okay.”

“You’re hurt,” Hyunjin choked out.

Jisung rolled his eyes. “Everyone gets hurt. I’m not special.”

“I said terrible things to you,” Hyunjin said, diverting the conversation suddenly.

“That’s–”

“What if those had been the last words I’d spoken to you?” His voice sounded like it would break any second, still he continued. “I’ve been horrible to you and you got hurt being nice to me. I’m a terrible person and I am so so so sorry.”

“Hyunjin,” Jisung said seriously. “You might’ve lit the match, but I fueled the fire. I wasn’t in a great mood either, which is my fault. It wasn’t all on you. I could’ve behaved better too.”

Hyunjin shook his head. His hand was still being held against Jisung’s chest, but he moved it now. He used both hands to hold Jisung’s tightly. “You were trying to stop the fire from spreading, but I just kept at it, blowing on the flicker so it became a flame. I’m your hyung, I should be able to control my emotions better and treat you better.”

Jisung rolled his eyes. “Hyunjin, when do we ever use honorifics off-camera? It doesn’t matter that you’re a little older than me, we both added to the problem, so stop making excuses for me!”

“But I–”

“What happened?”

Hyunjin blinked, confused.

Jisung elaborated. “You wouldn’t have been acting like that for no reason. So, what happened? What put you in a bad mood?”

Hyunjin felt his eyes well up at the stupid reasons he had for yelling at and berating Jisung. “It’s so dumb, you’re going to hate me.”

“I could never hate you.”

“I had an artist's block.”

Jisung waited. “Go on.”

“What more is there to say?” Hyunjin asked, exasperated. He was so ready for Jisung to get mad with his answer, not to ask him to explain himself more. “I couldn’t think of anything, so I was pissy. End of story.”

“What couldn’t you think of?”

Unable to meet his eyes, Hyunjin resorted to dropping his gaze to their clasped hands. “I haven’t been able to paint or draw anything for a month,” he admitted quietly. “And Minho asked for my help with thinking up some choreo, but I can’t think of any new moves. My brain has just been foggy and nothing is being productive up there.” He pointed at his head for dramatic flare.

Instead of being mad at the reasoning – like Hyunjin assumed he would be – Jisung just nodded. “I get it.”

Shocked, Hyunjin looked up, searching Jisung’s eyes for pity or annoyance, but all he saw was understanding.

Jisung had to stop himself from laughing at Hyunjin’s gawking face. “I get like that too, y’know,” he said. “When I can’t think of anything to add to a song that Chan and Changbin work hard on. I would end up being a terrible person if I ever came home in a bad mood, but I have Channie and Binnie to take care of me in the studio, so I don’t feel so bad about myself. Sometimes, I don’t tell them when I’m not having a good day because I don’t want to burden them with making me feel better. I just suck it up and push my brain to think of something, even if it’s terrible. Because that’s what songwriting and art are: raw emotions coming straight from the source. If those emotions are from a dark and mad place,” he shrugged, “so be it. Just gives the piece more flavor.”

Jisung stopped himself from saying more, worried he was boring Hyunjin with his barely understandable rambling. But when he looked at Hyunjin, his face was full of relief and wonder.

“You know exactly how it feels,” Hyunjin said, sounding almost excited.

“It’s how we express ourselves,” Jisung said with a nod. “You through art and dance, me through my songs. Not being able to understand your own emotions and being unable to put them into a piece is infuriating. It feels like you don’t know how to express yourself clearly and no one will be able to understand you because you can’t even understand yourself.”

Hyunjin blinked then chuckled. “And that’s why you’re an amazing songwriter.”

“What are you talking about?” Jisung asked, genuinely confused.

“The way you word things,” Hyunjin said. “Even your sentences sound like pieces of art.”

Jisung blushed, not prepared for the compliment. He laughed awkwardly and playfully pushed Hyunjin. “Don’t say stupid things.”

“I’m not lying, Hannie,” Hyunjin said. “Your songs and your words are just as beautiful as my paintings.”

Jisung shook his head, but didn’t say anything. He knew if he argued, Hyunjin would match that and argue back, pressing about Jisung and his supposedly beautiful words.

“I’m not as amazing as you think I am,” Jisung assured, “but if you ever need help with choreo, you can come to me. I’ve watched Minho enough to learn some things.

Hyunjin laughed and shook his head. “You really are our ace.”

Jisung gasped exaggeratedly. “What happened to ‘dance better’?”

Hyunjin ruffled Jisung’s hair, careful to not hurt his head. “We’re past those days.” After a pause, he said, “I told you why I was in a bad mood, what about you? I know I wasn’t making practice easy for you, but there were a few mistakes you made that shouldn’t have happened. I’ve seen you dance thousands of times and these were simple things to mess up.”

With a groan, Jisung leaned back. “I stayed up too late, overworked myself, and didn’t eat as much as I should. Chan and Bin already chewed me out about it, you don’t have to.”

“You have to take better care of yourself.”

“What did I just say?” Jisung said with an eye roll.

“I’m not lecturing you,” Hyunjin said, defensively. “I’m just worried about you and I’m sorry that I was such a jerk while you were weighted with so much.”

“I’m so tired of all this apologizing,” Jisung said. “I forgive you, do you forgive me?”

“What is there to–”

“Do you forgive me?” Jisung repeated, staring Hyunjin in the eyes.

“Yes,” is all he said in reply.

“Okay,” said Jisung, “now we’re all good. No more apologizing, no more worrying, no more fighting. ‘Kay?”

Hyunjin nodded.

“Good.” Jisung scooted over in the bed and patted the space next to him.

Hyunjin understood the invitation, but he still hesitated. “What if I hurt you?”

Jisung rolled his eyes. “It’s a concussion, not a broken rib. Get up here.”

Still careful of the injuried boy, Hyunjin settled himself next to Jisung. The younger was quick to sidle up to him, leaning his body against Hyunjin’s. They shuffled a little until they were both comfortable. Jisung had a hand over Hyunjin’s chest, feeling his heart.

“I was scared,” Jisung said suddenly.

“That’s normal,” said Hyunjin. “You got hit hard.”

Jisung shook his head. “I wasn’t scared for myself. I was scared for you. I thought I wasn’t going to get there in time.”

“But you did.”

“I know, but then I saw Chan’s face. He looked so terrified. I thought you had still gotten hurt. I tried to look for you, to check on you, but that’s when I lost consciousness.” He smiled to himself. “Y’know the first thing I asked for when I woke up from surgery was to see you. I was still out of it, so I don’t remember that well, but the nurses told me that I kept asking to see Jinnie because I needed to make sure he was okay.”

Hyunjin felt the tears build up behind his eyes. Jisung had risked his safety for someone he had been fighting with and the first thing he does when he wakes up is to make sure Hyunjin’s okay.

Jisung let out a fake groan when Hyunjin squeezed him in a tight hug.

“I’m never going to fight with you again,” Hyunjin promised. “I’ll make Minho remind me of this if I ever do.”

Jisung just laughed and snuggled closer to the dancer, letting out a yawn.

“You should sleep,” Hyunjin said.

“All I’ve done is sleep,” Jisung complained.

“Getting hurt is tiring.”

So, Jisung fell asleep. The doctor came in later and she allowed Hyunjin to stay considering he was an acting pillow for Jisung. The other boys went back to the dorms, preparing for when Jisung would be able to leave the hospital. They were ready to spoil him for the next month or two.

It was peaceful in the hospital room, closed off from the rest of the world. Just Hyunjin with his arm wrapped around Jisung as the rapper snuggled against him. The part of the hospital they were in was quiet at night, easy to fall asleep, but Hyunjin couldn’t bring himself to look away from Jisung and his chest as it rose and fell rhythmically in his sleep. Hyunjin had come close to losing one of his favorite people. He didn’t ever want to feel that way again, especially if Jisung had still thought Hyunjin was mad at him.

Staring at Jisung's sleeping face, Hyunjin couldn’t believe he would ever take out his anger on the boy. He was always so soft and wonderful to all of them, so how could Hyunjin target him? He leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of Jisung’s head. He made a vow to himself: no matter what, he would never fight with any of the members again, especially Jisung.

·:*¨༺ 𖤓 ༻¨*:·

The next morning was a rush. Everyone came back to the hospital and were allowed to stand in Jisung’s room while the doctor told them the news.

“His condition is stable and we see no need to keep him anymore,” she said. She handed Chan a bottle of pills. “These are for his head if he experiences any pain. It says on the bottle the amount he should take and when. He had a fair amount of bruising on his back, so make sure he’s comfortable when sitting or lying down. Applying ice wrapped in a towel will help with the swelling and the pain. He should be perfectly fine in a few weeks, but if anything changes, don’t be afraid to call or bring him back in.”

The members said their thanks and bowed deeply. Chan pocketed the painkillers as the doctor left. A nurse came to lead them out of the hospital and after a short car ride, they were back at the dorms. They all decided to have a sleepover, all piling in 3RACHA and Hyunjin’s dorm.

They kept the lights dimmed as Jisung laid down on the couch that was covered in plush pillows and soft blankets. Chan, Minho, and Changbin stood behind the couch, their arms resting on the back of it. The rest of the boys were sitting on the ground in front of the couch. Everyone kept their eyes on Jisung as he shifted around on the couch, getting comfortable.

Once he was settled, Jisung looked up and was shocked by the seven pairs of eyes that were focused solely on him.

“Uh, you guys okay?”

“Are you okay?” Felix flipped the question. “Do you want something to eat? Drink? Do you need more blankets or another pillow?”

Seungmin rested a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. Felix gave him a thankful look, but quickly snapped his eyes back to Jisung.

Jisung didn’t need anything at the moment, but he could tell that Felix was desperate to do something, to be helpful.

“Lix,” Jisung said, “could you get me some crackers or something?”

“Of course!” The blond shot up and rushed to the kitchen.

“Are you in any pain?” Chan asked.

Jisung shrugged. “A little, but it’s tolerable.”

The leader pulled the pain pills out of his pocket and examined the label. “It says these shouldn’t be taken on an empty stomach. Unless you eat more than crackers, I don’t want you to take any of these. Are you feeling hungry at all?”

“I just asked Lix for crackers,” Jisung stated.

Chan shook his head fondly. “I know you did that so Felix had something to do with himself, but are you actually hungry?”

Minho pulled his phone out and quickly typed something. “When you have a concussion, it’s good to eat foods that are rich in nutrients. So that means fruits, veggies, eggs, nuts– Oh, also dark chocolate.”

Jisung’s eyes lit up. “Do we have any dark chocolate?”

Changbin laughed. “You live here; of course we do.”

“Okay, guys,” Chan said, exasperated. “Crackers and chocolate is not a meal.”

“I could make you an omelet,” Minho suggested.

Jisung’s stomach churned just thinking about a mixture of foods, and shook his head. “I don’t want a bunch of food at once.”

“Okay, no omelet,” Minho agreed. “Want cheesy scrambled eggs? Just eggs and cheese. How does that sound?”

Jisung nodded. “Maybe hold off on the crackers then.”

He said that just as Felix returned with a box of crackers. “No crackers?” he asked.

Minho stood up straight and walked to Felix. “Come on. I’m making Hannie some eggs. Do you want to help?”

Felix eagerly nodded and Minho guided the younger dancer back to the kitchen with a gentle hand on his back.

“He’s really a mess right now,” Jisung said.

“Of course he is,” Jeongin said, slapping Jisung’s shoulder. “How could he not be? He had to see his precious sunshine twin get hurt.”

Jisung groaned and rolled so his face was pressed into the back cushions of the couch, muffling his words.

“Han-ah,” Chan chided, “we can’t understand you.”

Jisung rolled again and glared up at Chan. “I said, I’m tired of everyone worrying about me. It’s getting annoying.”

“How can we not worry about you?” Hyunjin asked. “You got smacked by a light.”

“Don’t say it like that,” Jisung whined. “That makes me sound so pathetic. I got beat up by a lightbulb.”

“That’s not what I said and don’t call yourself pathetic,” Hyunjin demanded.

“I won’t call myself pathetic if you guys give me some space,” Jisung bargained.

The group grew quiet. They didn’t want Jisung to think badly of himself, but they also didn’t want to leave his side.

“Can we stay in the room?” Chan asked. “We can spread out, but can we stay where we can see you?”

Jisung felt his heart squeeze at the words. They wanted to stay close to him. They wanted to stay where they could easily check in on him. They really cared.

Jisung nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

So, they spread out. Chan and Changbin each moved to sit on one of the chairs. Seungmin stood and walked over to the chair Changbin was at and sat on the rapper’s lap, pulling his phone out to play on. Jeongin made his way over to Chan, staying on the ground but leaning against Chan’s legs as a backrest. Hyunjin stayed on the ground in front of the couch, but at least he turned around so he wasn’t staring at Jisung anymore.

Jisung was relieved to finally have all the eyes off him. But it didn’t take long for him to become bored. He reached over the edge of the couch and started playing with Hyunjin’s hair. The dancer hummed in content, scooting his head closer to the couch.

“I’m glad you two are being civil again,” Chan cooed.

Jisung shrugged. “We were both being dumb and we talked about it. Problem solved.”

“You make it sound so simple,” Hyunjin muttered.

“It was,” said Jisung.

The group devolved into a comfortable silence. Once Jisung’s food was ready he ate quickly, only realizing how hungry he was after taking his first bite. The other boys watched happily as he cleared his plate. Chan got the pills out and Minho grabbed a glass of water for Jisung to wash them down with.

“So, what do we do now?” Jisung asked once his stomach was full and his pills were swallowed.

“Well,” Chan started, “I talked with JYP personally and complained about the stage and how we were all put at risk. For our inconvenience he’s allowed all of us to go on hiatus for as long as it takes for you to be fully healed, so we’ll all be here for you until you’re better.”

“Inconvenience?” Changbin snarked. “He calls what happened an inconvenience?”

“I’ll show him an inconvenience,” Seungmin muttered.

Changbin wrapped his arms around Seungmin tightly and rocked him back and forth. “I’ve raised you right, my child.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes, but a smirk crept onto his face.

“You two,” Chan sighed under his breath.

“Am I allowed to go outside?” Jisung asked.

Chan turned back to him. “Yes, but don’t exert yourself and make your condition worse.”

Jisung nodded and relaxed back on the couch. “I won’t. I just don’t want to be stuck in here for a month.”

“We’ll make sure you aren’t bored,” Jeongin said.

“We can play board games!” suggested Felix.

“Or draw,” Hyunjin offered.

“Or bake,” Minho added.

“Or have a cuddle pile,” Changbin said eagerly.

“I veto that option,” Seungmin quipped.

Changbin scoffed. “You’re literally in my lap right now.”

“Do you want me to get up?”

“No!” Changbin squeezed his arms around the younger boy, holding him tighter. “I’m sorry, Minnie, don’t leave me!” His voice was sickly sweet.

For the rest of the day, the boys came up with more ideas they could do that wouldn’t bother Jisung’s concussion. They had a plain dinner and Jisung took more pain pills before laying back down on the couch, this time with Hyunjin next to him. The others had grabbed blankets and sleeping bags, and brought them into the dorm’s main room.

“If you hold me any tighter, I’m going to explode,” Jisung joked quietly since the rest of the group was already asleep.

Hyunjin loosened his hold slightly and then immediately retighted it. “Too bad.”

Jisung huffed and smiled. “You’re impossible.”

Hyunjin snuggled closer. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Don’t apologize.”

Hyunjin smirked as an idea came to him. “Cuddle better.”

There was a pause, and then Jisung laughed quietly. “Cuddle better, really?”

Hyunjin nodded.

“Alright,” Jisung said, pushing himself closer to the dancer. “Then you have to sleep better.”

A breath of a laugh left Hyunjin as he tried to stay quiet. “We’re so dumb.”

“We are in paboracha,” Jisung joked.

“Always and forever.”

With that, the duo closed their eyes and fell into a deep comfortable sleep. They only woke up when Chan forced them to eat so Jisung could stay on schedule with his pain pills. The following weeks were filled with games, fun, and lots of smiles.

The boys hadn’t realized how much they needed this break. It may have been born from an unfortunate accident, but they couldn’t help but enjoy themselves as they goofed around each day, coming together to sleep in the main room every night.

And every night, Hyunjin held Jisung close, feeling his chest move with each breath. And he fell asleep every night to the lullaby of Jisung’s heartbeat.