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It was late August, and uncommonly hot inside Uchhan’s Okonomiyaki. Heat radiated off the open grill tops, filling the air with steam, smoke, and the savory smell of sizzling okonomiyaki. I sat as close to the lone oscillating fan as I could without leaving the grill. I had been biding my time with a tallboy of asahi, offered to me by the waitress. I had been here for at least a half hour now, and had worked up quite a sweat when Ranma finally arrived. He was late, but less late than anticipated.
He—she, at the moment—sat down next to me in one of the stools lining the steaming teppan grill, where our food was already cooking. Ranma was wearing expensive-looking sunglasses that were too big for her face, and her white tank top had a watermelon seed stuck to it, as well as a dried blood stain stain the size of a saucer. She smelled fairly bad, like sweat and wet fur. She tilted down her sunglasses in a manner that, from someone else, could have been charming. At the very least, she had a winning smile. She said “You’re the interviewer, I guess?”
“I am. Love the sunglasses.”
Ranma snatched them off her face and twirled them between her fingers with effortless grace before popping them back on. “Thanks. They’re kind of a congratulations present. I’m gettin’ a new anime, you know.”
“I do know. That’s why I wanted to talk to you, in fact.”
“Oh, good,” Ranma said. She held up a hand, and a plate of okonomiyaki slammed into her palm. She dropped the plate down in front of me before catching another plate for herself.The chef-proprietor of Ucchan’s Okonomiyaki, one Ukyo Kounji, threw a flirty wink at Ranma. Ranma shot back with a thumbs up before digging in. She talked to me through a mouthful of fried dough and cabbage. "So what did you want to know?
“Well, why don't you tell me your thoughts on the new show?" I said. "I know it’s not out yet, but it must be exciting for you."
“Pretty exciting. I just don’t get what took them so long."
“Production takes some time, I imagine. And Ranma 1/2 was…popular, of course, but it never reached the notoriety of even, say, Inu Yasha. And no one’s remaking that one either."
"Inu Yasha. Hate that guy. I’m the original Rumic bad boy, except I'm not a furry and I never threatened to kill Akane."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Nearly positive! She’s threatened to kill me plenty of times, but she’d have to catch me first."
"How do you feel about the anime being a reboot, rather than a continuation?" A blank stare from Ranma. "What I mean is, they’ll be starting from the beginning, instead of picking up where they left off."
"Does it matter?"
"That’s what I’m asking. It means we'll be starting how we always start, with you arriving at the Tendo Dojo for the first time, instead of getting right to the later arcs."
"Well, they’ll get to that stuff anyway, right? In season fifteen or sixteen."
"That is hugely optimistic."
"All that later stuff is really good. Traveling to China, great fights. I'm a little bit taller, which is sweet. Hell, Ryoga even gets a girlfriend, which is shocking storytelling if you ask me. There's no way Netflix does one season and then drops it. No way."
“I hope you're right. Anything in particular you're looking forward to?"
"The fights! No offense to the older anime, but I am graceful as hell and you need better animation to capture that."
"I think they have a bigger budget this time around."
"Right, it's a money thing, I get it. I'm broke, that's why I always eat here, I don't gotta pay." From the corner of my eye I saw Ukyo shift slightly. Even behind the sunglasses, I could see Ranma panic."And the food's the best," he added quickly. "Ucchhan's great too. Love it here, five stars."
I had picked this spot because it was where Ranma was most likely to show, but the food did not disappoint. "you said it was a relief to be talking about the anime, earlier. As if you were afraid this would be about something else."
"Yeah, I thought it was about the gender stuff."
"Well, I can’t say I wasn’t planning on asking about it."
"Come on, it’s boring and I don’t understand most of it. Let’s talk about the anime’s distribution."
"Alright, let’s. Tell me about anime distribution, Ranma."
"So, distribution is like, selling it, or shipping it or something. And anime is a kind of show."
"Very insightful. You know, that 'gender stuff' matters to people. it matters to certain people quite a bit, actually."
"To be honest, I don't get why. Unless they went to Jusenkyo-NOT worth the trip, by the way—I don’t know how it would matter to anyone else. What happened to me happened to me and a bunch of people who keep trying to kick my ass. It’s not too common an experience."
"It’s metaphorical, I suppose. Not literal. Your journey can be viewed as a metaphor for gender transition."
"Look, I'm no cross dresser, unless I need to. or it’s a good strategy. Or I'm doing someone a favor. Sometimes on holidays cuz it makes people laugh. Sometimes I do it to get free food. Sometimes I just like an outfit."
"Which category does this interview fall under?"
"What? None of them. It’s just hot. I’m usually a chick in the summertime so I can go to the beach. So that’s just being practical."
"I'm not talking about cross-dressing, anyway. But if you did want to wear women’s clothes, it would be fine. Especially since you are currently wearing women’s clothes."
"Not the underwear, that’s the important part."
"Well, I’m not talking about clothes either, necessarily."
"Good, I don’t know jack about clothes. I’m still wearing the trash my dad and I pulled off clothes lines when I was 13."
"That’s very sad."
"Is it?“ She licked the dark okonomiyaki sauce from her fingers.
“We may need to have a second interview about your dad."
"Oh, that I’d have a lot to say about. Lazy sack of crap. But we’re talking anime, right?
"Kind of. Do you watch anime, Ranma?"
"Not really, but I get wanting to watch mine. I hate to brag, but I’m pretty cool."
"The anime is primarily about your exploits after receiving your curse."
"I know. It's like, an epic tragedy. A strapping young man, taken from his mother, abused by his father, stripped of his dignity, cursed to be both the hottest chick and the hottest dude in town. And despite all that, I still manage to kick ass from here to Jusenkyo and back. I beat up a guy so bad he turned into a baby once, you know."
"I remember that one. But I was talking about trans people."
"Way outside my area of expertise. Way, way outside. I literally had to look up the word ‘gender’ in the dictionary last week."
"I’m not asking for an expert opinion, I’m asking for your experience, and what that experience might mean to people."
"Look, I’m trying to be nice. I know a trans, actually. I think that’s how you say it. Also had to look that up. Anyway, they're my friend and I don't want to piss anyone off."
"Who, the waitress?"
"Konatsu? Oh, yeah, she is, or something like it. She says it's more complicated than that. It was like, a really long answer, I don't remember half of it. But I was thinking about someone else."
"So if not Konatsu, who?"
"Oh, it’s not important."
"Well you are familiar with the concept at least. And you seem alright with it."
"I’m pretty progressive, considering it’s the 80s or whatever. And I do get the appeal of my curse. If I could pawn the curse off on them, I would. But this thing is non-transferable."
"But you do understand that you are, in a sense, someone who transitioned."
"Not really. I mean, yes , my gender changes, but I don’t want to be a chick."
"But you’ve grown into it, in a sense."
"It doesn’t bother me like it used to, and it’s useful sometimes, but it’s not who I am. It was just an accident. People don’t accidentally get HRT. It’s not the same thing."
"You looked up a lot of stuff the other day, huh."
"I was doin’ research, because I knew I’d have to talk about it."
"I'm impressed."
"Well Akane did the research and then summarized it for me, but same diff. So point number one, this was all an accident. I wasn’t born like this. Point number two, if my idiot father could read a map, none of this ever would have happened to me and I never would have been a girl. And all that woulda changed is my life wouldn’t be as complicated and I wouldn’t have gotten so good at makeup. I'd still be me."
"Well, what if you had been born this way?"
"With the curse, or as a girl?"
"Both, actually."
"If I was born with the curse, I don’t know. My mom is great, but she would have cut my head off the first time I fell in a puddle."
"I really do want to ask more questions about your family. What if it was only you that knew?"
"And this is about what I’m feeling, not like, how it would work in practice."
"Correct."
"It would have been easier to learn about girl stuff, but other than that it doesn’t change a thing."
"Still Ranma, then, not Ranko."
"If you want to put it that way, yeah. I’d still be a guy, obviously. Doesn’t matter when the curse hit."
"What about the other option? What if you were born a girl? Born a Ranko, not a Ranma. No curse, but still you, with an identical upbringing."
"No chance in hell my mom would’ve let a daughter go on an eternal training trip. Slightly less of a chance that the old man would have thought to train a girl. But, ok, I see what you’re getting at. And I don’t really know. Maybe I’d want to be Ranma, maybe I wouldn’t. I’m not that girl. I’m this girl. Or guy. Girl, currently. But guy in general."
I took a moment to think. Ranma seemed utterly unbothered by the lack of conversation, and continued stuffing her face until I spoke again.
"I think I was wrong about you, Ranma. I thought you were symbolic of the journey of a trans woman, but you’re not. You are neither struggling with or yearning to be a woman. In fact, you seem to take it for granted."
"It’s been several years–or one very long year–since I got the curse, and Anything-Goes martial arts is all about improvisation. That and cheating. I adjusted, that’s all."
"Being a woman isn’t something you want to be, as you said. But it also doesn’t seem to bother you."
"No, it bothers me. I want a cure, don’t start telling people I don’t want a cure."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, of course. It’s just not as bad as I used to think it was. No one really makes fun of me anymore, Akane doesn’t call me a pervert for that , at least, and it really opens up my range at karaoke. I can live with it, but life would be easier without it. You know how often people get hit with water balloons while they're walking to school?"
"I would be shocked if that happened to anyone with any sort of regularity."
"Well it happens to me every day. At least every day. Unless I’m in girl mode, then it’s always fucking hot chocolate or a burst hot water pipe. One time it was a lawn sprinkler that someone hooked up to hot water, somehow. So yes, I would be done with the curse, but I don’t have a passport anymore and I’m banned from a lot of China so that probably isn’t happening any time soon."
"But that’s your struggle, is what I’m saying. Externally, you may look like a woman."
"An attractive woman," Ranma added.
"Fine. But you’re not trying to be a girl, you’re trying to be a boy."
"I am a boy. Just not, you know. Full-time."
"I think you may be, symbolically, a trans man."
"Is that the opposite?"
"Yes," I said, "It is the opposite."
Ranma poked another okonomiyaki pancake into her mouth. This time, she took the time to finish chewing before answering. “Yeah. That sounds right. I mean, it makes sense. If I were born Ranko, which I really doubt my mom would have picked, but I felt like Ranma anyway, I’d book a ticket to China, for sure. Maybe try to find that magic ladle, really spice things up. Get back to normal, back to who I am, at least part way. Better than nothing."
"For this hypothetical person, it wouldn’t be 'getting back' normal for them, exactly. It would be a change, externally at least."
"I guess, but external changes are cheap. I do it all the time, it’s not even a big deal. And what’s normal? My childhood was normal for me, but now I’m starting to think my old man should be in prison. Come to think of it, my entire life has been unnormal."
"Abnormal."
"See, this is why I was the wrong person to interview. I am not an expert in gender. I'm an expert in kicking ass and being cool. You didn’t ask me to break one thing in half, or to balance on anything. I was hoping you’d secretly be a journalism-themed martial artist and try to crush me in one of those newspaper presses, but no. Do you have a knife you can throw at me or something? I’ll dodge it."
"I don’t. And I’m not trying to grill you. I know you’re not an expert, and I do appreciate your indulgence. I know this isn’t your area of expertise. It isn’t mine, either. I just wanted your thoughts."
Ranma took off her sunglasses and stuck her face in front of the fan, pinning it in place with one hand. She closed her eyes and let the cool air hit her face as the fan uselessly struggled to rotate.
"Ranma?"
She sighed into the fan before sitting back up. “Look. I started with a man’s body and then got this smokeshow later on, and it was an adjustment, and people treated me like an asshole for not looking like I should, so I get that sort of experience. And I’m trying to be treated like what I am, and get back to what I'm supposed to be, even if some people don't see it, and some people are actively getting in my way. So I get that sort of thing, too. I guess…I guess I hope everyone gets what they want." She smiled softly. "That’s a stupid thing to say. I’m kind of an idiot sometimes, you know. I don’t get it completely, but I get it a little bit, and I–" she paused for a moment before continuing. "People deserve to feel like they can be themselves. I probably can’t help with that, but I wish I could. And I don’t want to insult anyone, either, or make fun of anyone, or make anyone feel bad. There’s a lot of people I don’t understand, but they’re still my friends, and I still want them to be happy. But like I said, it ain’t my area. Ask Ryoga, I think he even read a book on it, and he hates to read more than I do.”
"Is Ryoga..?"
"Him? No, no. He's been a lost boy since the start, far as I know."
I took a sip from my beer. While I wasn't paying attention, it had been replaced with a fresh, cold one. I looked for that waitress, but didn't see her anywhere. I ran down the very short list of people Ryoga knew. "Is it his girlfriend then?" I asked. "Akari?"
" I can’t say," said Ranma with her usual poker face: eyes wide, gently nodding her head up and down without realizing it.
"Interesting. Non-canon, but interesting."
"Again, I don’t know what that means. She’s really nice and kind of old-fashioned, so keep it to yourself, yeah? She got me these sunglasses, you know. Apparently she smashed through a Sunglasses Hut on her pig and she ended up with a couple of pairs."
"That was very nice of her."
"She's super nice. Not sure what she sees in pigboy, but it takes all kinds, I guess. Anything else, or we done here? I’m going to a haunted taffy pull with Akane tonight, and I want to at least take a shower first."
"I think that’s all. Anything you wanted to add?"
"Yeah, remember to buy the VHS tapes or I don’t get any royalties."
"I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for sitting down with me, Ranma."