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Rei cracks his neck as he watches Kazuki bounce around the apartment. Yawning, he stretches his arms over his head, his shirt riding up. He rubs his eyes waiting for his eyesight to adjust to the blinding rays spilling into the ceiling-to-floor windows. Rei’s never up this early— only to visit the boss, maybe a mission here or there. Kazuki does mornings better than he does, but the blonde insisted Rei be up early today. Rei even slept in his own bed to prepare for their little excursion today.
They’re on vacation.
Whatever that means.
Rei has never taken a ‘vacation’, he doesn’t even know what the word means. Kyu wouldn’t give them a mission for two weeks. Rei panicked, but Kazuki seemed more excited than Miri. They had their finances down pat so they could splurge for extra days off… but an entire week? Rei left Kazuki to sort out that mess while he played video games.
Kazuki promised Rei he could have at least two days to himself as long as Kazuki was allowed two days as well. They would spend most of the time with Miri and today she decided on the beach. Miri and Rei have never been to the beach whereas Kazuki has visited many times. Miri begged and pleaded to see the ocean-blue water, smell the salty sea air, and feed the seagulls. She pouted and gave Rei the biggest and saddest puppy dog eyes before he agreed. Kazuki snickered, but he agreed as well.
Now, here they are.
Rei’s packing up the car while Kazuki forces Miri to get dressed, the young girl dragging her feet. Rei could almost hear Kazuki clicking his tongue, picking Miri up, complaining about how fast she grew. Smiling softly to himself, Rei closes the trunk and leans against it.
Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he checks for any missing emails from the boss. It’s been almost a month since he has heard from his father. They don’t keep in contact, Rei would prefer his father never contact him. Frowning, he opens the encrypted app, he should have a pending email from his father. His father never allowed him freedom (Rei’s leash from his lifestyle is a short leash.) His so-called freedom is his father’s form of rebellion. Not living under his thumb is freedom, but constant checking in for new missions or when he’ll return home is never-ending. Clicking around he sees at the top, in big bold letters ‘On vacation for two weeks. Do not call, text, or email, Thanks.’
Rubbing his chin, Rei doesn’t remember putting a reminder on his email. He barely checks his email. Nor does he need his father snooping around in his off time. Keeping Miri a secret is hard enough, Kazuki living with him irks his father. Did Kazuki hack into his email? Rei wouldn’t put it past him. Kazuki is the brains of their operations, always has been always will be. Shaking his head, he pockets his phone waiting for Miri and Kazuki to join him. The sun shines brightly in the sky, surprisingly not too hot. He hasn’t had the opportunity to enjoy the sun’s golden rays on his skin. Before Miri, they lived basically by the seams of their pants. Kazuki would drown his sorrows in a bottle of liquor, wouldn’t come home most nights, finding someone to warm his bed and heal his aching soul. Rei, on the other hand, believes he didn’t deserve physical healing from his father’s abuse. Drowning himself in video games and random takeout every single night.
“Earth to Rei, hello!” Kazuki’s hand waves, shaking him from his thoughts.
“What?” He frowns, shrinking back against the car.
Miri rubs her eyes as she leans against Kazuki’s chest. Rei averts his eyes, but Kazuki grabs his chin, forcing Rei to tip his head back. Ruby-red meets his gaze, searching, eyes flicking back and forth before squeezing his chin.
“I know where your heads at, c’mon Rei. I know you, There’s no reason to think about him today,” Kazuki smoothes his thumb over Rei’s chin.
Leaning into the warmth from Kazuki’s hand, Rei’s eyes slide close. Inhaling sweet cinnamon, Rei relaxes into Kazuki’s grasp. Rei counts to ten in his head, opening his eyes to find two sets of eyes watching him, anxiously.
“You’re right,” He huffs, pulling away from Kazuki. He misses the warmth but doesn’t have time to unpack those emotions. Kazuki smiles, his eyes shining while Miri yawns into his neck.
“C’mon, we have another hour before Princess here wakes up. Can we chat in the car or leave it for tonight?” He offers, opening the back door.
Rei mulls it over, before shaking his head, “We’ll talk tonight. I'd rather Miri enjoy this outing… myself included.”
Kazuki nods as he straps Miri into her seat, her eyes sliding shut again. A smile tugs at Rei’s lips before he closes and slides into his seat. Kazuki's gaze is heavy on the back of his head, but he understands. They’ll talk tonight when they are home… for now, they will enjoy their day at the beach.
“C’mon Rei-papa! The water is so warm!” Miri shrieks as Kazuki throws her over his shoulder.
Wincing, Rei retreats further into the shade of the large umbrella Kazuki insists on bringing. Rei has never been more thankful for Kazuki’s antics. They arrived a little after ten-thirty with no clouds in sight. Beautiful blue skies with the sun shining brightly. Kazuki slathered them in sunscreen before Miri could bolt. His soft hands caressed Rei’s cheeks, his shoulders, and his back. Rei thought his hands lingered longer than he needed to but he wasn’t complaining. His cheeks burned as he recalled Kazuki’s gentle touch.
“Are you with us, Rei?” Kazuki’s voice pulls him from his thoughts.
Shaking his head, Rei glances up at Kazuki standing over him. Miri’s tiny hand clutches Kazuki’s pinky finger with a huge grin. Kicking her legs gently against Kazuki’s chest she’s waiting for Rei to join them in the water. He glances behind them at the sparkling ocean water.
‘How did I get this lucky,’ Rei thinks while resting his chin on his knees.
“What did you say?” Rei mutters as the sand runs through his fingers.
“Rei-papa I asked if you’d like to go swimming! Kazuki-papa said you might say no, but it hurt to ask!”
“It never hurts to ask,” Kazuki offers, a smile pulling at his lips.
Rei huffs, he never enjoyed the water. He normally wears a wetsuit so he doesn’t feel the cold so deep in his bones. Glancing between Miri’s pleading eyes and the soft lapping of waves, sighing, his shoulders sag. He would rather walk on burning lava than upset Miri.
Holding out his hand, Kazuki reaches for him. Lacing their fingers, he pulls Rei to his feet but doesn’t drop his hand. The last time their fingers were entangled was a few nights ago when Miri fell asleep between them. Rei ducks his head, hiding the blush threatening to take over his cheeks. The softness of Kazuki’s hands, the warmth, the safety he feels in Kazuki’s hand.
“It’s okay, Rei-papa! We’ll only go ankle-deep, we don’t have to go far,” Miri pats his leg with her tiny, chubby hand.
Rei smirks, chuckling under his breath. Sometimes, he wonders if he’s doing his part in raising Miri. Her kindness doesn’t come from him, he struggles to show an ounce of emotion. Where Kazuki cries at the drop of a hat. Miri’s hand wraps around his pinky and reaching for Kazuki, she squeals with delight. The water rushes around their ankles, his hand wrapping tighter around her hand. Anxiety surfaces as the water retreats to the ocean, threatening to pull them with it.
“Don’t be scared, Rei-papa. Kazuki-papa and I have you, you’re not going anywhere!” Miri puffs out her chest and sinks herself deeper into the wet sand.
“I’ll let nothing happen to you,” Kazuki’s words breath against his ear as he slid closer to Rei.
At this rate, Rei won’t be able to say the blush against his cheeks is from the sun. Kauzki’s hand wraps around his hip, pulling Miri and him closer. Sinking into his side, Rei stands and watches the waves lap against their feet. Miri giggles as the little fish circle her ankles, Kazuki points out the little bubbles from crabs, and Rei soaks it all in.
“I haven’t seen you smile this big since your birthday, Rei. Keep smiling, you have no idea how much it means to Miri and me,” Kazuki whispers against his skin.
Swallowing, Rei shakes his head. Miri pulls at his hand asking if they could build a sandcastle. Anything to pull his thoughts from the gutter, anything to forget about the inferno Kauzki has caused in his gut.
Anything to forget Kazuki’s husky voice against his ear. This must be how butterflies form— from someone who shows love and compassion. Someone caressing the old wounds, someone scaring away the monsters at night, someone kissing away nightmares.
Kazuki kisses his cheek when he thinks Rei is asleep.
Kazuki’s loving hands thumb over Rei’s scars when he’s not looking.
Kazuki wipes his tears in the darkness when he falls apart. When his seams no longer work and have been cut open for the entire world to see.
“Of course we can! Rei-papa and I would love to help— we need buckets, shovels, seashells… what else do you think we need, Miri?” Kazuki’s voice pulls Rei from his thoughts.
“Sand!” Miri giggles.
“Wet sand,” Rei offers.
“Both correct!” Kazuki smiles widely, reaching for Rei’s hand.
Their fingers tangle, the butterflies from his stomach threatening to escape from his ribcage. His heart skips a beat while Miri runs to their spot grabbing their buckets.
“Enjoying your vacation?” Rei asks, shakily.
Kazuki laughs, his shoulders shaking while his fingers tighten in Rei’s hand.
“I thought you didn’t know what the word vacation meant— but yes, I am enjoying myself, “clearing his throat, Kazuki catches his gaze out of the corner of his eye, “are you enjoying yourself?”
Rei nods as Miri comes sprinting back to them, her little arms full of buckets, shovels, and sunscreen.
“We need more sunscreen! Rei-papa’s cheeks are so red! Red as an apple!” Miri drops the buckets at her feet, motioning for Rei to come closer.
“Don’t get it in his eyes!” Kazuki reached for the bottle before Miri could use all of it.
“Yes, I am,” Rei mutters, softly.
He’s never taken a vacation before but starting next month, then he’ll try to take more days as a family. Miri’s smiles and Kazuki’s fussing are worth every single moment.
“We need more pictures!” Kazuki hollers over his shoulder as he races for his phone.
Rei would beg to differ, they have enough pictures. They have more than enough, but as time continues… maybe a few more is worth it.
Collapsing on the couch, Rei throws his arm over his eyes. His body aches, his skin warm to the touch from the sun beating on their backs. Miri barely made it to the rug before she fell asleep. Lotion smothered on her face to ease the redness from the sun. Exhaustion was written on her face but a sleepy smile graces Rei. The bathroom door opens but Rei doesn’t open his eyes. He doesn’t move, his body aching from carrying Miri back to the car.
“I’m surprised she made it to the rug before falling asleep, I’ll carry her upstairs,” Kazuki laughs, quietly.
“I got it, I was resting my eyes,” Rei pulls his aching bones from the couch. Blinking, he takes in the dimly light living room. His eyes adjust quickly, but his breath catches in his throat. Kazuki hasn’t put a shirt on. His bronze skin was red either from the sun or his shower. Gulping, Rei moves quietly not to stir Miri. His eyes don’t move from Miri’s sleeping form, internally panicking over Kazuki’s chest.
They’ve seen each other naked before, multiple times. It happens, they’re roommates for fuck’s sake. Hands shaking, he reaches for Miri, gently picking her up, not disturbing her dreams. He doesn’t think about Kazuki’s chest pressed against his back. Clutching Miri to his chest, he takes the stairs two at a time putting as much distance between him and shirtless Kazuki.
Nudging Miri’s door open, he releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Laying Miri in her bed, he watches her snuggle into her clean sheets. A smile tugs at his lips as he covers her up. Her eyes peek open, catching Rei off guard. Panicking, he leans down smoothing out her brown hair, hoping to lull her back to sleep.
“Love you, Rei-papa,” She whispers as her eyes slide close.
Rei leans forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead. The words cling to his throat as he wishes to say them, but he fears to speak them aloud.
Miri turns over, snuggling deeper into her covers as she falls back into her dreams. Backing away slowly, Rei feels an arm wrap around his waist, pulling his back against a warm and very naked chest.
“Shh, you’ll wake her,” Kazuki breathes against Rei’s neck.
Rei nods as they watch Miri sleep. He used to struggle with watching Miri sleep, but now he finds himself checking on her throughout the night. To see if she’s still breathing, that she hasn’t wandered off, or if someone broke in. Kazuki leans his chin against Rei’s shoulder, his skin burning Rei’s very being. They haven’t touched since the last time they got severely intoxicated, but Rei remembers the soft trail of Kazuki’s fingers against his skin.
“We have another week of this,” Kazuki mutters.
Rei nods, not trusting his voice. Sinking back against Kazuki’s chest, he replays today’s events.
“I could get used to vacations here and there,” Rei offers.
Kazuki huffs a laugh as he pulls them from Miri’s room. Switching on the night light they leave in the hallway for her. His arm doesn’t leave Rei’s waist as the door closes softly.
“Sleep in my bed tonight,” Kazuki offers, softly.
Rei doesn’t have the strength to offer up a fight nor does he want to put up one. Kazuki’s bed has been warmer, softer, and safer than his own bed. His sheets never felt as warm as Kazuki’s did.
“Sure,” Rei mutters.
He’ll sneak out before Miri wakes up. He’ll retreat to his own bed to sort out this feeling gnawing at his stomach. But tonight, he’ll embrace the butterflies and shirtless Kazuki without a second thought.
Rei could get used to this from time to time. If it meant that he could sleep in Kazuki’s sheets without feeling if the world would collapse.
Vacations.
Definition: a scheduled period during which activity (as of a court or school, in this case, assassination business) is suspended.