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Kiyoomi was never one for people watching. Despite his ability to read others well, his focus was usually on himself. However, after developing feelings for Atsumu, Kiyoomi possessed the growing desire to unfold Atsumu and inspect every detail of his personality. He put his skill to good use, and it wasn’t long before he’d familiarised himself well with Atsumu’s behaviours and the reasons behind them.
The moment Kiyoomi entered the gym, warning bells rang in his head. Even from across the room, he could detect the tension in Atsumu’s jaw and shoulders.
Anger wasn’t an uncommon emotion for Atsumu. His usual triggers were: the universe in general, his twin, another person, and himself. Kiyoomi had learnt the telltale signs for each of them, and was almost always correct in figuring out the cause of Atsumu's frustration.
He immediately deemed it unlikely that Atsumu was angry at someone. In that scenario, Atsumu's irritation would only show in his body language when interacting with the person directly. But currently, he was sitting alone, and he continued to be tense as everyone readied themselves for practice.
“Bokuto-san,” Hinata started, beginning his warm-up stretches. “Did you ask Atsumu-san about that thing we were talking about yesterday?”
Bokuto brought his water bottle down from his lips. “What thing?” He asked, a clueless look on his face.
Hinata pursed his lips before straightening. “You know. The thing.”
“Oh!” Bokuto exclaimed and pointed at Hinata. “That thing!”
Kiyoomi snorted, used to the two’s antics. He had no doubt that ‘the thing’ was considerably more boring than they were making it seem.
Bokuto suddenly deflated. “I tried talking to him but he didn’t wanna hear about it,” he explained glumly.
Kiyoomi frowned, his thoughts wandering back to the blond as he tuned out of his teammates' fast-changing conversation.
After learning about Bokuto’s failed attempt to have a conversation with him, Kiyoomi realised that only left two likely reasons for Atsumu's negative mood. Since although it was true Osamu didn’t have to be present in order to unsettle his twin, Atsumu still wouldn't let his anger influence his interactions with other people.
When Atsumu was angry with the world, it usually resulted in him being much less considerate in what he said and how he said it. Kiyoomi sincerely hoped this was the case, and prepared himself for Atsumu's outwardly expressed aggression. However, as they began practice, Kiyoomi soon became subjected to something much more subtle.
Atsumu set the ball too low for his liking. Kiyoomi's face contorted in displeasure before he'd even started his approach. "Miya," he complained despite having scored the point. "You—“
"I know," Atsumu grumbled, barely coherent and without sparing the wing spiker a glance.
Kiyoomi's discontentment was overshadowed by the painful sting in his chest. The cause for Atsumu's passive response became increasingly obvious to Kiyoomi.
As the hours went by, Kiyoomi noticed that Atsumu was muttering all of his replies and completely ignoring his team during breaks. He deduced that the setter's frustration was ultimately directed at himself. It was the reason Kiyoomi hated most. Dealing with an argumentative and worked-up Atsumu was far preferable to him than seeing Atsumu withdraw himself. Kiyoomi didn’t care if he was sometimes unkind to others, but it bothered him when he wasn’t being kind to himself.
Although he’d already formed an educated guess on the reason behind Atsumu’s frustration, Kiyoomi chose to keep his distance until they were alone.
Practice ended, and Atsumu’s inability to leave the gym when advised to only further backed up Kiyoomi’s conclusion. He knew Atsumu had the tendency to overdo it when he was being hard on himself.
Kiyoomi watched as Atsumu practised his serves, eyes never leaving him and the intense expression on his face.
When his serves started to weaken, Kiyoomi finally intervened. “Miya,” he spoke after having sat in silence for at least twenty minutes. He didn’t receive any acknowledgement from Atsumu, so he tried again, “Miya.”
Kiyoomi’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. He wasn’t sure if Atsumu was ignoring him, or if he was just too lost in his own head to hear Kiyoomi's voice.
He stood up and made his way to the volleyball cart, letting it act as the barrier between them that Atsumu was evidently in need of. As Atsumu reached for another ball, Kiyoomi was determined to get through to him.
“Atsumu,” he said in a more gentle tone.
Atsumu’s concentration finally broke upon hearing his first name. His eyes flicked up at Kiyoomi. “What?” He asked. His voice wasn’t harsh, but filled with mental exhaustion.
Atsumu was disappointed in his performance as of late. He felt like his growth as a player had stunted. Accepting that he was nearing the limit of his abilities was something he refused to do, and that created a pathway to beating himself up over not meeting the level that he believed he could reach.
”Let’s go home?” Kiyoomi suggested.
His words phrased as a question instead of an order was unusually careful for Kiyoomi, and it caused Atsumu’s grip on the ball to ease along with the relaxing of his shoulders. He let out a heavy exhale. “Okay," he responded. Kiyoomi was relieved to find that Atsumu was interested in cooperating.
By the time they’d cleared up the gym and stepped outside, it was already dark out. Kiyoomi twitched his nose, grateful for his mask that shielded him from the cool breeze.
”Well, see ya Monday,” Atsumu mumbled before hastily turning with the intention to walk away.
Kiyoomi’s hand left the warmth of his pocket and reached out into the cold air to pinch Atsumu’s sleeve. Atsumu shifted on his feet and looked at Kiyoomi in confusion.
”I’m coming with you,” Kiyoomi announced, still holding onto his jacket.
Atsumu expressed the most liveliness he had all day. “Huh?” He stared at his teammate as if he’d said something crazy.
Kiyoomi didn’t bother explaining himself and only ushered him forwards. All of Atsumu’s protests were then shut down and he eventually gave up trying to fight. Under normal circumstances he would be thrilled to have Kiyoomi over, but he really wasn’t in the mood for it considering the day he was having.
Kiyoomi didn’t have a specific outcome in mind when he decided he would tag along. He simply wanted to tend to Atsumu - to give him a little of the love he wasn't giving himself.
They spent the journey in a comfortable silence, Kiyoomi giving Atsumu the space for his frustration to dissipate into.
Once they arrived, Atsumu wasted no time in getting into the shower. Kiyoomi noticed he was less in his head after freshening himself up. He tried getting away with skipping his meal, but one death glare from Kiyoomi was enough to get him to retract his words. Much to Kiyoomi's relief, Atsumu was finally engaging in conversation over dinner. He wasn't his usual self, but it was progress.
Something clicked for Kiyoomi as the evening carried on. He’d never pursued Atsumu because he was content with the way things were and didn't have a compelling reason to change their relationship. However, as Kiyoomi found himself in Atsumu's home; eating with him, talking with him, sharing a blanket and watching a movie with him... it all felt nicer than he'd imagined, and he realised he didn't have a compelling reason not to confess to him either.
Kiyoomi heard Atsumu sigh. The movie they were watching was pretty boring and had failed to capture the blond's attention. He looked over at the man sitting next to him. Atsumu had a serious look on his face again, prompting Kiyoomi to believe he was falling back into his mindset from earlier.
Kiyoomi shifted closer as Atsumu continued to stare blankly at the screen. He lifted his finger to poke Atsumu’s cheek, the silly action successfully bringing Atsumu out of his thoughts. He turned to look at Kiyoomi, whose lips tugged upwards slightly. It was only a small smile (if you could even call it one), yet it comforted Atsumu.
His expression became less tense as his eyes wandered over Kiyoomi’s face. He'd been so caught up in his negativity that his feelings for Kiyoomi had been pushed to the side. But as Kiyoomi moved to sit even closer, those feelings began making their way back to the forefront.
In silence, Atsumu watched as Kiyoomi brought his fingertips to graze his jaw, the light contact sending a shiver down his spine. Kiyoomi's fingers gradually slid over the side of Atsumu’s face, his slow movements matching the calmness of their breathing and the softness of their heartbeats. Kiyoomi cupped Atsumu's cheek tenderly, his intimate touch creating a simmering warmth within Atsumu's chest.
Kiyoomi’s eyelids drooped as he gazed at Atsumu, the depths of his eyes conveying the devotion that lay behind them. Atsumu only stared. The Sakusa Kiyoomi before him was almost unrecognisable. He wasn't used to being treated so delicately, especially not from him. Atsumu stayed still, afraid speaking or moving would take him to a reality in which Kiyoomi wasn't with him.
Kiyoomi started to lean forwards, his eyes dropping to Atsumu's lips. Atsumu held his breath in anticipation, almost expecting the moment to come to an end - like waking up from a dream just before witnessing the best part. Instead, Kiyoomi's palm inched further back to allow room for his face. He tilted his head slightly, their noses brushing against each other. Kiyoomi stilled for a moment, breathing softly against him and intoxicating Atsumu with his mere presence.
He finally let his lips gently press over Atsumu's top lip, causing the setter’s heart to quicken. Kiyoomi kissed him fondly, his movements entrancingly slow and loving. The leftover frustration exited Atsumu's body as all his muscles relaxed and he melted into Kiyoomi's affection. Atsumu moved his hand to lightly feel Kiyoomi's side. As he kissed Kiyoomi back, the warmth in Atsumu's chest spread to the rest of his body, engulfing him and flowing out from his touch.
Atsumu’s movements were also tender and mesmerising. Kiyoomi fisted the blanket with his free hand in fear that he would start fading away.
He eventually broke the kiss, partly to catch his breath and partly because Atsumu's shift in behaviour was making him dizzy.
They held eye contact for a few seconds. Atsumu suddenly made a small whine and pulled back to press his palms over his eyes. "What're ya tryin' to do to me?"
Kiyoomi watched him in amusement. "What does it look like I'm trying to do?"
Atsumu dropped his hands. "Listen, if yer just tryna comfort me or somethin', I—"
"What?" Kiyoomi interjected, his judgemental tone and quirk of his eyebrow making him resemble the Sakusa Kiyoomi that Atsumu was more familiar with. "You're stupid," he stated. "You think I'd kiss someone like that when I don't have feelings for them?"
His words left them in a silence. Atsumu knew he was right. He'd caught the emotions Kiyoomi had so unashamedly poured out to him. Despite that, Atsumu's initial response was to reject it. It was one thing yearning to be with someone, and it was a whole other thing for that someone to suddenly place all of their love in his hands. For a moment, he didn't know what to do with it. Atsumu was used to being the one who gives without gaining much in return. To finally be on the receiving end was somewhat uncomfortable for him.
The movie continued to play in the background while Kiyoomi waited for Atsumu to process his feelings. After a few moments, Atsumu leant forwards. A bad feeling emerged within Kiyoomi as his lips formed a smug smirk. "So yer in love with me then?"
Atsumu's directness caused Kiyoomi's cheeks to redden. "No," he blurted, the other's attitude influencing him to revalue his pride.
"Ya are," Atsumu teased, a glint of mischievousness in his eyes.
Kiyoomi didn't entertain him with a response. He wasn't appreciative of Atsumu's intent to make fun of him, and moved to sit away from him.
"Wait," Atsumu said with a laugh and reached for his wrist. "C'mere."
"No," Kiyoomi refused stubbornly. He struggled to free himself from Atsumu's grip, resulting in stifled giggles from both of them.
Atsumu yanked Kiyoomi towards him and quickly wrapped his arms around him, trapping Kiyoomi against his chest. "Let me kiss ya again."
"Do it then," Kiyoomi instantly gave in, enjoying Atsumu's body heat. He'd previously noticed that Atsumu always had warm hands. The thought of now being able to snuggle into him whenever he wanted made him extremely pleased.
Atsumu wasted no time in meshing their lips together, kissing him sweetly. His arms loosened around Kiyoomi and his right hand found its way to press against Kiyoomi’s back. Kiyoomi leant into him, his hand on Atsumu’s chest. As their kiss deepened, his hand travelled upwards until it reached the base of his neck. Kiyoomi hummed in contentment as Atsumu slowly rubbed circles into his back.
If their first kiss had been Kiyoomi showing Atsumu the feelings he had for him, their second kiss was Atsumu showing Kiyoomi that those feelings were only the beginning of what he would make Kiyoomi feel.
When they backed away from each other, Atsumu smiled genuinely. Kiyoomi saw his own adoration reflected on Atsumu’s face, causing an unfamiliar fluttering within his stomach.
Kiyoomi was prone to intellectualising his feelings, but being in Atsumu's presence enabled him to fully internalise and experience them. It had always been like this - even with his feelings towards volleyball and the way Atsumu's oozing passion had affected his perception of his own - so it wasn't surprising to him that after kissing Atsumu and being held in his arms, Kiyoomi realised his feelings for him ran deeper than he'd thought.
“I really am,” he murmured under his breath, almost to himself.
“Hm?” Atsumu lifted his eyebrows slightly.
Kiyoomi raised his hand further to hold the side of Atsumu’s neck, his thumb resting beneath his jaw. He made eye contact again before clarifying in a soft voice, “In love with you.”
Atsumu’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected Kiyoomi to actually say it. The initial surprise left him and was followed by a wide, eye-crinkling grin that broke free on his face. “Me too, Omi," he beamed.
A soft laugh escaped from Kiyoomi’s lips as he took in Atsumu’s rather cute display of happiness. “Yeah…” He replied. “I’ve known for a while.”
Atsumu’s smile faltered. ”What?”
The setter's eyes narrowed slightly when Kiyoomi’s lips quivered upwards like they always did when he was about to hold something over Atsumu. ”You’re obvious,” Kiyoomi said simply.
Atsumu blushed from embarrassment, unable to stop himself from adding to Kiyoomi’s satisfaction. “...Really?”
Kiyoomi’s smile grew. “Yeah. Very.”
Atsumu huffed and looked away. “Whatever,” he grumbled.
It didn’t take much for Kiyoomi to make the grin return to Atsumu’s face. He had successfully cheered Atsumu up, and nothing was more satisfying to him than that.
Perhaps the notion that Atsumu was obvious about his feelings wasn’t entirely accurate, and it was only Kiyoomi’s habit of observing him that led him to believe so. Kiyoomi’s understanding of Atsumu’s emotional behaviours wasn’t only limited to anger, but included all of the ways Atsumu showed love, too.
Atsumu was overflowing with love, and it was one of the first things that Kiyoomi noticed after paying closer attention to him. Kiyoomi could see it manifested in his passion for being a setter. He could see it when Atsumu, even in super busy periods, never failed to make time for the people he cared about. He could see it when Atsumu boasted about his twin despite never complimenting him to his face. And he could see it in Atsumu's reaction any time someone made a kind gesture for him.
Kiyoomi had absorbed himself into Atsumu's being so much that he had recognised the difference in the way Atsumu would look at him compared to other people. He wasn't unaware of the underlying softness in Atsumu’s voice that was only present when they were alone, or the way his touch sometimes lingered for longer than necessary.
After entering a relationship, Kiyoomi discovered a plethora of Atsumu’s new behaviours that excited him. The small, unexpected acts of service, the hardened look in his eyes when he was jealous, the nuances in the way he touched him depending on what they were doing and where they were... Kiyoomi never tired himself of observing the supposed enigma that was Miya Atsumu, and each trait he learnt to love also came with a discovery about himself.