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'You set fire to my ass!' Prompto said abruptly, diverting the conversation from the rather dull topic of weather. 'You…you set fire to my ass. That is so not cool, Noct.'
'Technically it's the opposite of cool,' Noctis said, doing absolutely nothing to dispel the gunner's outrage.
'And you're not even sorry about it! Unbelievable.'
Noctis heaved a sigh. 'I didn't set fire to your ass anyway, we've been through this. I aimed a fire spell at the catoblepas. It dodged-'
'How the hell does a catoblepas dodge? It's the size of a meteor!' Prompto yelled.
'-and after it dodged, the fire spell caught the dry grass and rushes, which you just happened to be standing close to so that the wind carried a spark onto your jeans. Not my fault. It's not like I was aiming for you. Trust me, if I was aiming a fire spell at you, you'd know about it.'
'Or he'd dodge as swiftly as a catoblepas,' Gladiolus said. His jokes also weren't welcome if the glare Prompto threw him was any indication.
'Whatever. But my ass was on fire, I want an apology at least. They were your flames,' Prompto said, huffing and sitting back in his seat at the camp they had set up.
'I never hear you complaining about my flames when they're burning up a magitek drone that's about to skewer you,' Noctis muttered.
'No, I only complain when they're burning my ass to cinders,' Prompto challenged, leaning forward in his seat again to glare at the prince who was doing his best to glare back.
In the frosty silence that ensued Gladiolus held out a tray. 'Jammy Dodger, anyone?'
The twin glares turned on him.
'You think being burned to a crisp-'
'I did not burn you to a crisp, you ran right for the lake and dunked your flaming ass-'
'And suffering the indignity of having to go shopping for new jeans with a hole in the ass of my old ones can be repaired by a jammy dodger?' Prompto asked, his knuckles whitening as his hands gripped the arms of the camping chair.
Gladiolus glanced at the biscuits, then up at Prompto. 'So you don't want one?'
'Of course I want one,' Prompto leaped forward and snagged two. 'But I won't enjoy them,' he insisted around his mouthful of biscuit. He brandished the second biscuit menacingly in Noctis's direction. 'This is your fault. I'm stress eating now.'
'I don't see the problem, your old jeans were tatty anyway,' Noctis said.
'I liked those jeans,' Prompto said. 'We'd been through a lot together.'
'And it showed,' Noctis muttered. 'Forget about distressed, they were practically psychotic.'
'Wouldn't you be if you had to be around Prom's ass all day?' Gladiolus said, shoving two biscuits in his mouth at once. 'Where's the coffee, anyway?'
'The coffee is staying out of the way until your childish argument is over,' Ignis's voice called from the cooking area.
'That could take forever,' Gladiolus said. 'Well if the coffee isn't coming to me, then I'm going to the coffee. You two kiss and make up or else Iggy and I will zip you up in the tent and not let you out until you've sorted this.'
Both younger men glared at Gladiolus's retreating back, then turned to resume their glaring match with one another.
'All you have to do is say sorry,' Prompto said. 'That's it. Just acknowledge that you could have killed me-'
'You were barely on fire, it was just a little flame.'
'I generally like to not have any flames on me, though. Call me old fashioned, but it's nice not burning.'
Noctis made a huffing sound that wasn't really a word at all and reached for the biscuits. Prompto was faster and stole the last one, crunching it with a sardonic grin.
'Oh, real mature,' Noctis said. 'Whatever. I'm going for a walk.'
Noctis scraped his chair back and prepared to do just that when he found himself faced with Gladiolus. The older man was a tall and physically imposing presence standing over him with his arms folded across his chest. 'Going somewhere?'
'Yes,' Noctis said, trying to dodge past him but strong arms caught him around the waist and lifted him up over a muscled shoulder. 'What the hell are you doing? Seriously, Gladio, put me down!'
'Stop kicking, Noct,' Gladiolus growled, striding toward the tent. Prompto was already being dragged there by Ignis. Gladiolus tossed the prince inside where he landed unceremoniously, and before he could get up Prompto was toppling in too after a shove from Gladiolus. The next thing they knew the world was plunged into dimness as the tent flap was zipped up.
'If you're going to act like kids, then we'll treat you like kids,' Gladiolus's voice called from outside.
'Sorry Your Highness, Prompto. But Gladio has a point here. We can't continue on with hostility between you. We need to trust each other or else we'll fall in battle,' Ignis explained.
'Fine. Great,' Noctis said, pushing himself to his knees and glaring at the tent flap. There was no point in trying to open it, he could imagine Gladiolus was sitting right outside ready to push him back inside if he tried to escape. That left the alternative; talking to Prompto and sorting this out.
'You think I like this any better than you?' Prompto asked. 'Stuck with the guy that almost killed me?'
'I didn't-' Noctis cut himself off, then turned away from his friend. 'If that's what you think then fine, think it. I'm not going to stop you. If they think locking me in here is a punishment then they're idiots. Inside has the bed rolls,' Noctis pointed out. True to form he lay down on one and with his back to Prompto made it look as if he were going to sleep.
'Well you might be fine sleeping your life away but some of us are hungry. And really need to pee,' Prompto said. 'Are you actually going to sleep?'
'Yep,' Noctis said.
'Typical.'
Noctis's eyes narrowed at the tent wall in front of him. 'What do you mean?'
'Nothing,' Prompto said innocently. 'Just that you're going to run away from this rather than talk like an adult. Maybe they're right, maybe we do need to treat you like a kid.'
Noctis sat up and spun around to face the blond. For the first time in a long time there was no trace of humour in Prompto's features; the gunner was serious.
'I'm not a kid anymore,' Noctis said carefully, evenly.
'Then why can you not just admit your mistake and apologise?' Prompto asked.
'Why do you have to keep making such a big deal of a little spark-'
'My jeans were on fire. Like literally on fire. Your spell missed and it almost hit me directly, then what? What if it actually had hit me and not just the ground next to me?'
'Then we'd be burying you and not your stupid jeans,' Noctis yelled.
There was a moment of silence between them and the colour drained from Noctis's face.
'We'd be burying you. You'd be dead,' Noctis repeated softly, lowering his gaze to the hands in his lap. His nails were cutting half moons into his palms as horrific images of Prompto charred and bleeding, dead on the ground filled his head. Of the golden light of a soul lifting from Prompto's corpse and making its way to Etro's gate as his best friend left him for the next world. 'I'm sorry, alright? I just…didn't want to admit it was so close. It was just a little spark. But you could have…I just wanted to forget it but you keep going on about it and you won't stop and-'
Hands covered his own, pulling his nails from his palms. 'Noct. Noct, look at me.'
Noctis shook his head violently. Instead a pair of blue eyes appeared as Prompto twisted to catch his downcast gaze.
'This isn't why I wanted you to apologise. I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were so upset about it. I just wanted you to acknowledge that you'd done it.'
Noctis laughed a hollow laugh. 'I knew I did it. I'm always scared that my stupid powers might hurt one of you by accident and today-'
'We'll all mourn the passing of my jeans, but it's okay,' Prompto said, a bright smile on his face as he tried to encourage Noctis to do the same.
Noctis drew in a shaky breath but managed to raise his eyes. 'I just don't want to lose you.'
'I don't want to lose me either, so that makes two of us. We'll just try to be a bit more careful. No harm done, except the jeans, and now we know that grass is flammable - seriously, who knew? - we'll all take that into account when you roast things. 'Kay?'
Noctis gave a little shrug. 'Okay.'
'No, I want to hear it with feeling,' Prompto said.
Noctis managed a small smile that time. 'Okay, Prom.'
'Good. Besides, these jeans are even cooler than my last ones. Have you seen the zips? There's like a dozen of them and they came with this belt that has a skull on it just like Iggy's. I mean I know my ass looks good in anything, but these jeans really show off my assets, right? It's okay, it's bromantic to agree, you're not overstepping any guy rules.'
Noctis laughed and gave his friend a little shove in the chest. 'You're insane.'
'That's why you love me,' Prompto said.
'I really am sorry.'
'It's okay,' Prompto reached over and squeezed Noctis's hand to show him it was. 'But I really do need to pee, I wasn't lying earlier. Gladio let me out!'
When they were finally freed Prompto raced for the trees, much to Gladiolus's amusement. Noctis crawled out a lot more groggily and accepted the hand Ignis offered him to stand.
'Okay?' Gladiolus asked, clapping a hand on his shoulder.
'Yeah. I think so,' Noctis said. 'I just need to be careful.'
'We all need to be careful,' Ignis amended, squeezing his other shoulder.
'That's our Iggy, never missing a chance for to remind us about caution,' Gladiolus chuckled. 'But on to a more serious matter; we need to think about new nicknames for Prom.'
Noctis and Ignis both raised an eyebrow.
'Oh come on, he was hilarious running around with his pants on fire like that. We can't let this go. I'm thinking Hot Stuff, Hot Ass, Burnt Cupcake.'
'Please stop, you're causing me physical pain,' Ignis said.
'Liar Liar?' Noctis suggested.
Gladiolus laughed appreciatively. 'That's the spirit. Okay what else? Flame Roasted Prompto.'
'Asses of fire.'
'Blazing Glory.'
'I'm leaving,' Ignis announced, leaving the other two to their growing list of ever more ridiculous nicknames.