Work Text:
Prom is approaching rapidly, and Yamaguchi is in love with Tsukishima. Tsukishima knows this, of course, and Yamaguchi knows that Tsukishima loves him too, even if he won’t say it.
(“I love you, Tsukki. Really love you,” Yamaguchi had confessed.
“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima had responded, “High school relationships are lame .”
‘Wait for me,’ Yamaguchi had translated.)
Yamaguchi doesn’t mind that Tsukishima won’t say it, because he knows, and that’s enough. Or it was enough. It was enough until everyone was talking about prom, and their plans with their significant others, or how much they wanted someone to ask them. Talking about holding their special someone close and dancing under colorful lights and streamers, dressed to the nines.
“Wait, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi grabs the back of Tsukishima’s shirt as he starts to leave practice. The whole team turns. Shit, that was loud. “Stay and help me practice my serve for a bit? I want you to look at it before I practice in more games, I know you’ll be honest about your criticism.”
Yamaguchi bites his lip, glancing at his teammates, “Alone? I know you’ll speak your criticism more freely without others around.”
“Right,” Daichi nods as if he understands. Yamaguchi knows he couldn’t possibly but that doesn’t matter, “Come on, everyone out. You two pick up before you leave, and don’t forget to lock up too! I’m counting on you!”
Tsukishima nods, but he’s eyeing Yamaguchi suspiciously. It probably just looks like any of Tsukishima’s other gazes to everyone else, but Yamaguchi knows him. He knows Tsukishima better than anyone else.
When everyone is gone, Tsukishima turns to Yamaguchi, who’s fiddling nervously with his fingers.
“Spit it out, Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima says, and Yamaguchi relaxes ever so slightly. He looks curious, not judgmental, which is a plus.
“Sorry, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi takes a deep breath, staring at the floor in front of Tsukishima’s feet, “Prom’s coming up soon. I thought that maybe— I don’t know.”
He chickens out at the last second. How lame . Tsukishima looks away, eyebrows furrowed, and scoffs.
“Why are you so determined to blaze some sort of trail for other people like— like that ?” Tsukishima says, and his voice is cold. But Yamaguchi sees right through him. He’s scared . Yamaguchi hates seeing Tsukishima scared; it doesn’t happen often but when it does it makes Yamaguchi’s chest hurt. “It’s like you’re asking to be a cautionary tale, Yamaguchi.”
Yamaguchi states wide eyed for a moment, and then feels a burst of annoyance under his skin, “I don’t care about any of that. I don’t want people to stare at us anymore than you do. I just— I just want to dance with you, Tsukki. I want to go to prom with you because I want to dress up to see you, and hold you close, and dance with you. Is it so impossible to imagine that I just want to be with you for you ?”
Tsukishima doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Yamaguchi starts to feel less brave. And then—
“I don’t need a big production like that, or tons of people that I don’t even know around,” Tsukishima’s voice is quieter than Yamaguchi has ever heard it, but it doesn’t lack any of its usual hellbent tone.
Don’t need it? Yamaguchi wonders, trying to wrap his head around it. He must be silent for too long, because Tsukishima pushes past him, bumping his shoulder, and walks out the door.
“I’m going home.”
Yamaguchi is tempted to follow him, but he doesn’t. He sinks to the floor instead, head on his knees, and fights the urge to cry.
“Yamaguchi?”
Yamaguchi jolts, looking up. Sugawara’s silver hair shines under the moonlight just outside the door.
“S— Sugawara?”
“Hey,” Sugawara rubs the back of his neck, smiling awkwardly, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to listen, I just came back to grab my jacket and happened to overhear and… I couldn’t help it. Sorry.”
“You heard all of that?”
Sugawara nods, and Yamaguchi jumps up in panic, “Please don’t tell anyone,” he bows at a full 90 degree angle. Sugawara waves his hands, panicking.
“I won’t! But you know that none of the people on this team would judge you, right?” Sugawara smiles sadly, “Especially not me.”
“What?” Yamaguchi breathes.
“I understand you, Yamaguchi, I know what it’s like to— to be in love with your best friend when he doesn’t love you back.”
Yamaguchi gapes for a long time, silence setting in between them, “Oh.” And then, he smiles back, looking up at the ceiling, “I’m sorry, Sugawara, I don’t mean to be insensitive but… I don’t think you do quite understand.”
Sugawara raises an eyebrow, and Yamaguchi looks at him, smiling genuinely but with teary eyes.
“Tsukki does love me,” Yamaguchi sighs (it threatens to become a sob, suddenly overwhelmed by his own feelings), “He just doesn’t love me more than he’s scared of others.”
“Oh, Yamaguchi,” Sugawara steps closer, “I’m sure that isn’t true. You ran away from your jump serve in that one match because you were scared, does that mean you’re more scared of failure than you love playing volleyball?”
“What? No, of course not, but that’s… that’s different.”
“Fear is a tricky thing, Yamaguchi. A little fear can be debilitating if you feel like you’re facing it alone, even in the face of so much more love,” Sugawara smiles, “Perhaps Tsukishima just feels like you aren’t scared the way he is, and now he feels like he’s facing his fear by himself. In that case, wouldn’t you run too?”
“But I am scared,” Yamaguchi pouts. “Of course I'm scared, I’m horrified. I thought I could wait until we were out of high school, wait until it was safer because I’m also scared, but it’s too long. I’ve loved him for years, and I just want to be close to him.”
“I know,” Sugawara wraps Yamaguchi in a tight hug. The underclassman freezes for a moment, but hesitantly returns the hug, “But he didn’t say he didn’t want that too, did he?”
“He said he didn’t need it,” Yamaguchi points out, mumbling against Sugawara’s shoulder.
“He said he didn’t need a huge event, but he never said he didn’t want to be close to you. He never disagreed with you wanting to dance with him.”
“I guess so,” Yamaguchi sighs. Sugawara squeezes him once more, and then pulls away, holding Yamaguchi’s shoulders at arm's length.
“Be brave for a little longer, Yamaguchi Tadashi,” Sugawara’s eyes glisten, “I believe this will work out in your favor. To be loved by the same person your heart beats for is a beautiful thing. Don’t let go of that.”
———
The vibe of practice the next day is painfully stiff, even Hinata and Kageyama start to pick up on it. It’s strange how much of a difference it makes when Yamaguchi and Tsukishima are awkward with each other, they’re both relatively quiet and don’t seem to add much to the energy at first glance, but it becomes particularly noticeable when Yamaguchi stutters through a delayed “Tsukki, nice!” and Tsukishima doesn’t say anything even remotely rude to Kageyama while they practice Tsukishima’s spikes together.
“Captain,” Hinata whispers, approaching Daichi with a concerned look, “Are Yamaguchi and Tsukishima fighting?”
Daichi glances at the two aforementioned first years, standing by each other like usual, but while Tsukishima is his regular quiet self, Yamaguchi is also silent, and they’re not looking at each other. Standing side by side as if—
“It’s like they’re fighting and don’t want to talk, but they can’t help but want to be near each other,” Nishinoya sighs, walking up behind Daichi. “It would be endearing if it wasn’t throwing practice off… look, Kageyama doesn’t know what to do with himself when Tsukishima just keeps nodding respectfully at his sets.”
They look over at a glaring Kageyama, who looks like he thinks he can read Tsukishima’s mind if he stares hard enough. Hinata stifles a laugh.
“Didn’t Yamaguchi ask Tsukishima to stay after practice with him?” Hinata asks thoughtfully. Daichi nods, turning towards Sugawara.
“That’s right. You went back to grab something and came back with a weird expression too,” Daichi raises an eyebrow, “Do you know what’s going on?”
Sugawara smiles, rubbing the back of his neck, “No, sorry. I just noticed the energy seemed weird then too, that was all.”
Sugawara can tell that Daichi can tell he just doesn’t think it’s his place to say, because Daichi nods with a specific look in the eye that soothes some of Sugawara’s worry, and replies, “I’ll talk to Tsukishima after practice. For now, ignore them as long as they aren’t causing major issues. They seem to be playing fine, so as their teammates it may not be our place to step in.”
“And as their friends?” Sugawara asks when everyone else has dispersed back to practicing. Daichi sighs.
“As their friends, I’m worried. I hope they’ll be okay.”
“Me too, Sawamura.”
The red on Daichi’s cheek, Sugawara is sure, is just a trick of light and exhaustion.
———
“Tsukishima! Stay back and help clean up, the rest of you go home and rest.”
Yamaguchi looks between Daichi and Tsukishima nervously, and Daichi doesn’t miss Tsukishima’s eye roll before Yamaguchi nods and follows the rest of the team out.
They start to pick up the stray volleyballs in silence, and Daichi becomes starkly aware that he’s not sure how to go about this with Tsukishima. He’s starting to wish he’d held up Yamaguchi instead.
“Yamaguchi and I are fine.”
Daichi looks over at Tsukishima, who’s staring intently at a nearby wall.
“Are you sure? You seemed… stiff today,” Daichi says and then, tentatively, “Did something happen last night?”
Tsukishima grumbles something Daichi can’t quite hear. Daichi raises an eyebrow. “I said that idiot just wants to go to prom, that’s all .”
“Oh,” Daichi nods, freezes, and then sighs. “ Oh. I see. And you don’t want to go with him?”
Tsukishima tsk s and turns his back, “Why does everyone keep assuming that?”
“In that case, did you tell him that you did want to?”
“I don’t,” Tsukishima groans, and Daichi doesn’t think he’s ever seen him more animated and frustrated (it’s still not much but it’s something), “I don’t want to, because I think the whole event is pointless, especially when it’s people like us. But I don’t not want to. I just don’t understand why he would want all those judgemental eyes on us.”
“Tsukishima,” Daichi frowns, brow furrowed, “Are you trying to say that you do want to go to prom with him, you just don’t want to have people watching and judging you?”
Tsukishima huffs, “I guess.”
“Did you tell him that?”
Tsukishima scoffs, picking up his water bottle and drinking the little bit left, “I told him I didn’t need a big flashy production, and he looked at me like I was rejecting him.”
Daichi rolls his eyes, crossing his arms and putting on that sort of daunting captain persona he has. Tsukishima presses his lips together, “Tsukishima, you can’t just assume he’ll know what you mean by that. To him that probably did sound like a rejection. You may as well have told him you don’t need him .”
“But that’s not true—” Tsukishima starts, and then glowers at the floor, clearly embarrassed by an outburst in such a manner. “He knows that’s not true,” he finishes, biting the inside of his cheek.
“Have you ever told him?” Daichi sighs, “Love makes people scared, Tsukishima. You know that, don’t you? And fear can turn into doubt if no one comes to save you from it.”
Tsukishima hates that he has a point.
———
Yamaguchi has been a nervous wreck since practice ended yesterday and Tsukishima had stayed behind. Such a nervous wreck that when Hinata and Kageyama had approached him on his walk home, running up behind him, he had spilled everything to them. Luckily, Hinata had just smiled his sunshine smile and said “Why would we judge you, Yamaguchi? We’re friends.” and Kageyama nodded as if he had never even considered judging him. Yamaguchi caught them holding hands when they split off, and felt a little better.
But now it’s lunch time, and Tsukishima hasn’t been in class all day, and Yamaguchi fears for the worst.
“Sugawara?” Yamaguchi calls into the upperclassmen classroom. Sugawara looks up, grinning.
“Yamaguchi!” He jumps up, running over, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Yamaguchi wrings out his hands, “Have you talked to Tsukki or Daichi since yesterday?”
Sugawara thinks for a moment, “No, I haven’t. I haven’t seen Daichi since, actually.”
“Oh,” Yamaguchi inhales deeply, “Okay. Thank you.”
Yamaguchi tries to ignore the knowing look Sugawara gives him as he leaves.
———
Everyone’s weird at practice, Yamaguchi can’t quite figure it out. Tanaka and Noya keep laughing behind their hands, not teasingly but almost giddy, like they’re anticipating something so good that they can’t help but laugh. Hinata and, weirdly enough, Kageyama keep sending him thumbs up. Sugawara is just quiet and smiley, but also looks like he’s trying to keep Asahi from spilling something, which is what really catches Yamaguchi off guard. Asahi is terrible at keeping secrets, but what secret could everyone else know but him?
His question is answered soon enough when Daichi finally shows up to practice with a clearly nervous and embarrassed Tsukishima in tow, holding something behind his back.
“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi croaks out, being corralled forwards by his friends. Daichi shoots Tsukishima with an encouraging look and then steps out of the way.
Tsukishima, silent and bright as a tomato, pulls a poster from behind his back with one hand (it reads ‘I would really dig it if you would set up a date with me to prom’, Noya and Tanaka burst into laughter. Sugawara kicks them.) and a small bouquet of red roses and lavender. Yamaguchi’s jaw drops.
It’s silent for a moment. And then another. And then—
“I thought you said—”
“—I changed my mind,” Tsukishima cuts him off. “I want to dance with you. Will you go to prom with me?”
Yamaguchi doesn’t know whether to laugh at the embarrassment all over Tsukishima’s face, or cry. He lands somewhere in the middle, laughing even as tears prick up in his eyes. He nods, unable to get his voice to work, and rushes forward, slamming into Tsukishima as he wraps his arms around his neck. Tsukishima wraps his arms around his waist the best he can without smashing the flowers, steadying him.
The others burst into loud cheers around them, but Yamaguchi almost can’t hear them as Tsukishima mutters a quiet, simple apology into his ear. Yamaguchi pulls away, ever so slightly, and smiles brightly, “This will be our first date, you know.”
Tsukishima flushes red again, turning his head away, “Yeah.”
———
The day of prom comes quicker than Yamaguchi expected, his bouquet from Tsukishima still has some color though it started dying days ago. Yamaguchi checks his appearance several times, to the point that Yachi is starting to get annoyed with him.
“Yamaguchi, please, you look great ,” She assures him. She’d come over to help him with his hair and the tiny bit of eyeliner he has on, “Tsukishima is so lucky.”
“Thanks, Yachi, I just— I just want this to be perfect .”
“Tsukishima likes you as you are, Yams, you don’t need to be perfect.”
Yamaguchi wraps Yachi in a tight hug, “Thanks. What would I do without you?”
Yachi blushes, waving him off, “Oh, shut up.” She eyes him up and down once more, and smiles, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Yamaguchi grins.
There’s a knock on the door.
“Go get him, tiger,” Yachi nudges him away, “I’ll leave when you’re gone so you two can have your moment.”
Yamaguchi nods, fixing a strand of hair again (Yachi slaps his hand) and leaves his bedroom. He opens the front door and—
Wow .
“‘Wow’?” Tsukishima smirks, tilting his head to the side.
“Shit, I did not mean to say that out loud,” Yamaguchi blushes.
Tsukishima is in a sleek suit, matching Yamaguchi’s, but his tie is a dark evergreen, and Yamaguchi’s is an equally deep purple. Tsukishima lifts up the box he was holding at his side.
“Here, let me do this for you,” He steps closer, removing the boutonniere from the box and carefully pinning it to Yamaguchi’s suit. Lavenders again.
Yamaguchi returns the favor, hands shaking, and Tsukishima watches him with a cool, collected gaze, smiling softly. Yamaguchi is starting to worry about his knees buckling.
“Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima coos, reaching out his hand when Yamaguchi finishes, “Let’s go.”
Yamaguchi takes his hand, nervousness buzzing inside of him. Tsukishima squeezes his hand twice, lacing their fingers together.
“We’re together all the time anyway, how is this any different?” Tsukishima laughs at Yamaguchi’s nervous demeanor. Yamaguchi swats his shoulder with his free hand.
“Don’t play dumb, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi frowns, but his face splits into a grin before too long. He can’t contain it.
When they get close to the school, Tsukishima swerves their path towards the club rooms and the gym.
“Where are we going?” Yamaguchi raises an eyebrow.
“I’m still… I still don’t know if I can handle being so public,” Tsukishima sighs softly, “But I want to dance with you too, Tadashi, so Daichi and Sugawara helped me out.”
He gestures toward the gym, and nudges Yamaguchi forward. Yamaguchi opens the door to find the gym fully decorated for prom—streamers hanging from the ceiling, glitter on the floor, lights off and LED’s casting a warmer, colorful glow instead, and speakers at both ends. He gasps, a hand coming to his mouth involuntarily.
“I hope you’re not disappointed about not really going to prom, but—”
“Oh, Tsukki ,” Yamaguchi turns back, eyes glistening, “This is what you meant when you said you didn’t need the whole production of prom, isn’t it? You just meant you didn’t think we needed anything over the top if it was the two of us. This is perfect, Tsukki.”
Tsukishima looks away, cheeks dusting a light pink, “Yeah,” he says, adjusting his glasses, “I’m glad you like it.”
“But it wouldn’t really be a school dance without other students,” Sugawara says from nearby, calling their attention. The whole volleyball team is there, all in prom attire (the sight of Kiyoko looks like it might make Noya and Tanaka pass out—but Noya can’t seem to choose who to stare at, her or Asahi), grinning their faces off.
Hinata lunges at Yamaguchi, hugging him tight around the shoulders, “It all worked out, see?”
Yamaguchi could cry, the overwhelming feeling of support and unchanging friendship from his team, despite having been so afraid to come out for so long, overtaking him a bit. Tsukishima places a steadying hand on his back.
“I should’ve asked you sooner. You know that I wanted to.”
Yamaguchi smiles up at him, “I know.”
The evening is after that a blur of watching Hinata dance around Kageyama, cackling at how out of place the setter looks, and slowing breaking Tsukishima out of his shell enough to at least try and awkwardly dance to the faster songs.
When the first slow dance plays, there’s a dusting of pink on Tsukishima’s cheeks as he extends a hand to Yamaguchi, who happily takes it.
With his hands laced behind Tsukishima’s neck, and Tsukishima’s hands wrapped around Yamaguchi to rest on his lower back, the proximity is close and intimate. Yamaguchi smiles up at him with the party lights reflected in his eyes.
“I love you, Tsukki.”
Tsukishima’s blush only deepens, “Shut up, Yamaguchi,” he mutters, glancing around. Then he places a light kiss to Yamaguchi’s cheek bone that sucks all the air out of his lungs. “Me too.”
That’s the best Yamaguchi is going to get, and it’s more than he’s ever even hoped for. Nearby, he glances at where their team captain is offering his hand to Sugawara, who takes it with the confidence of someone who thinks it’s a friendly gesture. Yamaguchi almost laughs.
Later in the evening, when Tsukishima offers to grab them water cups, Yamaguchi approaches Sugawara.
“Suga?”
Sugawara smiles brightly, “Yamaguchi! Seems like everything worked out okay, huh?”
“Yeah,” Yamaguchi smiles back. “Do you remember when you said you knew what it’s like to be in love with your best friend when they don’t feel the same?”
Sugawara nods slowly, confused.
“I don’t think you do.”
Yamaguchi offers an encouraging smile and leaves it at that, off to find Tsukishima again. Sugawara laughs softly.
“I hope you’re right,” Sugawara mutters to himself.
“Who’s right about what?” Daichi asks, suddenly approaching.
Sugawara shrugs, “Oh, nothing. One more dance?”
Daichi smiles.
“As many as you’d like.”