Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I love you.” Natsumi Schwartz says, and the whole world slows down. Seeing his stunned expression, she giggles and repeats, “I love you, Reinhard. Will you go out with me?”

He takes a step back, and senses some unease and nervousness rising from her. He wants to comfort her, but he doesn’t know what to say. What can he say at a time like this? What should he even say?

“Well, I understand if you can’t give me a reply right now, kind of sprung it on you, to be honest,” Natsumi notices his silence and laughs a bit, but her features harden and her words sound forced. “We just finished dealing with like four archbishops, after all. Think it over, will you? Don’t worry, I promise not to be too depressed if you reject me-”

“No, there’s no need for that, Dame Natsumi.” He cuts in before he can hear another word. He really can’t stand that self-deprecating smile on her face. “I was just… shocked. Are you sure about this?”

“Of course, do you really need me to say it again?” She questions, “I love you, Reinhard.”

“But we’re from different factions, will Miss Emilia approve of your actions?”

“Hah? Of course she will. She’s my bestie, you know.” She pokes his chest, and he almost forgets to disable some of his divine blessings because of his unique mental state. “And don’t you use your royal candidates as an excuse. We both know Felt has been rooting for us since day one.”

“There surely must be better choices that desire your hand.” He smooths his uniform out of habit. “Sir Julius, perhaps? He’s much more charming than I and-”

Natsumi Schwartz covers his mouth with her hand, and says, “Look, I don’t care about that. The one I love is you, not him. Couldn’t care less about how perfect of a knight he is. He can go date some random swooning barmaid for all I care.” She looks him in the eyes, and he’s taken aback by… everything. The color of her irises, her exotic pitch black hair, her untanned, smooth skin. “So, are there any more excuses? I’d be happy to refute them if you keep them coming.”

“I’m a monster.” He smiles bitterly, and he knows he’s saying the truth. “I’m a monster that’s only good for destroying. I can’t make you happy, Natsumi. I destroy everything I touch. I just murdered my grandmother in front of her husband and son. I’m sorry, but I can’t give you happiness.”

She stays silent for a bit, and he wonders if he just ruined their relationship. Or maybe it’s just how it should be, and she just realized that being lovers, or even friends with him is going to paint a target on her back. And then… something interrupts his thoughts.

Natsumi’s holding some sort of pipe, and she just smacked him with it. What?

“Oh, that worked. Neat.” She puts the pipe down and dusts her hands off. “Hmm, if something’s malfunctioning just give it a good ole smack, never fails. And never punished, mind you. Fixed a bunch of old computers and TVs this way, you know. If it works, don’t fix it.”

“I don’t see you as a monster, and I probably never will.” Her attention comes back to him, and she holds his hands. “Look, as much as I’d like to just solve everything with some words like ‘you’re not a monster’, you can’t deal with trauma that easily, first-hand experience. So how about we give this thing a go and we’ll sort stuff out from there? We’ll deal with your issues one by one, together, how does that sound? Oh by the way, the offer from before still stands, you can take your time to reply. I did promise to not get sad, but if you ghost me too long do remember I never promised to not get angry, so don’t be a dick, ‘kay?”

He looks at the girl in front of him, and then looks up to the sky. Is it worth it? Potentially ruining her just for his happiness? Kind, sweet, pure Natsumi Schwartz?

“Dealing with my issues together, as you said, sounds delightful. So there’s no need for that, Natsumi. I love you too.” He says, and there’s no wind blowing.

He knows he doesn’t deserve to love. He’s a weapon, only useful on the battlefield. And to love someone as saintly as Natsumi… makes him feel like he’s committing a sin. But he still wishes for a happy ending, for the both of them.

Seeing her practically light up, and it’s not an exaggeration to compare her with the brightest star in the sky. Her cheerful personality, her infectious smile, her endless optimism, she shines so brightly everyone else pales in comparison. He wants this to work so badly, even though he knows that he might just be the one responsible for the crime of extinguishing this spark. He doesn’t deserve her, not one bit. But Reinhard was chosen by Natsumi Schwartz, and someone as pitiful as him cannot muster up the will to refuse this chance the world has seen fit to give him. He really is…

He really is a selfish being.

Chapter Text

Natsumi rushes into the pastry shop, dragging Beatrice with her and almost bumping into multiple customers in her haste. She can see some people side-eying them, but the one holding her hand just doesn’t care about other people’s opinions, she supposes.

No, she does care normally, it’s just that there's too many things on her mind right now, in fact. Beatrice heard her contractor twisting and turning in bed last night, giggling and saying nonsensical things. It’s a miracle how she even has this much energy to move this fast.

The person responsible for repelling the witch cult multiple times and the defeat of numerous archbishops, reduced to some lovesick teenage girl by that Sword Saint. How scandalous. Beatrice wonders what the reactions of the captured witch cultists would be if they knew their defeat was orchestrated by the likes of her.

Well, not like her contractor cares about maintaining her reputation. Natsumi likes to hide in plain sight, and while she can’t really do that completely anymore, since after her recent accomplishments she has become quite the celebrity, she’s still successfully concealing some of her strength and downplaying her power.

People always see her as a threat, not the threat. Enemies do not prioritize defeating her first, and that’s often the second mistake they make before their plans are foiled and Natsumi stands victorious.

The first mistake they make is, of course, challenging Natsumi Schwartz with Beatrice by her side, she supposes. They never stood a chance.

“Miss Natsumi! To what do I owe the pleasure?” The baker’s son asks, putting down two trays of bread. “Didn’t think I’d see you in our humble shop again, that employer of yours finally giving you a break?”

“She kept bugging me to take one, and I kept refusing, I’m telling you. The Emilia camp is very worker-friendly and not at all attractive to workaholics. I’m the only one like this, trust me.” She pauses a bit, and then sighs. “Well, maybe two if you count Otto, but it’s not the norm.”

“Whatever you say, Miss.” He smiles, and crouches down to her level, “And is this the ever so mysterious great spirit? I’ve never seen you before, so I’m just making a guess.”

“Yea, this is Beako!” Natsumi ruffles her hair with her hand, and she leans into her touch. “My very cute and pocket-sized daughter! She’s not that small, but you get my point.”

“Hmm, I’ve read somewhere that spirits don’t need to eat food to survive. Is that why you’re so short?” His smile turns slightly mocking, “Well, feel free to buy some of our bread if you want. Might need Miss Natsumi’s help if you want to reach the top row though, and that’s where the freshest products are.”

“Ha! How impudent, I suppose!” Beatrice definitely does not feel anger at this human’s words. She does not. “What difference does your height make when facing me?”

“Well, nothing. But I’d rather die standing at six feet tall than kneel to your power.” His smug expression shows, and he continues, “Though maybe I’d need to kneel anyways if I want to talk to you. You’re just so… tiny!”

She’s a great spirit that lived for hundreds of years. She endured waiting for ‘That person’ for so long. She will not be swayed this easily by someone with a sharp tongue. She will successfully resist the urge to encase this disrespectful idiot in her magic crystals. Beatrice is better than this.

“Hah! I’ve lived more than four hundred years. I won’t be that easily riled up, I’ll have you know.” She crosses her arms and makes a ‘tsk’ sound, and Natsumi and the boy immediately start cooing.

“As fun as all of this is, let's properly start scouting this place out. Got to make preparations for the date later.” She looks around in an exaggerated motion. “This is a limited event, so there aren’t any redos and I can’t mess it up.”

Beatrice stares at her until she blushes. “What? What are you looking at me for?”

“Nothing, I suppose. It’s just rare that you put this much effort in a date. You weren’t this prepared when you went on that date with Emilia, in fact!” She says, and watches as Natsumi’s cheek turns even redder.

“Ha, you were peeping even at that time? What a tsundere, you.” She chuckles, and continues while grabbing a few pastries. “Well, that date was a friends date, so I was just kind of winging it. Plus, me and Reinhard are star-crossed lovers, tight as the star-crossed fated day.”

Beatrice didn’t understand a word Natsumi said, and judging by the boy’s face, neither did he. So troublesome sometimes, this contractor of hers.

“Don’t mind her, child. She always spouts these kinds of nonsense at completely random intervals.” Some people think she’s a bit of a wild card, but Beatrice's at her side at all times so she knows better. “There’s no reason for it, she’s just unique, I suppose!”

“Aww, way to sugarcoat it, Beako! Still, all these are references. They aren’t random, not at all.” Natsumi taps her head with a finger and says, “That sentence about the star-crossed lovers? I heard it when I was playing Night Runners. Lyrics from one of the songs, forgot the name. Now that I think about it, star-crossed lovers shouldn’t really be my aim, since it’s kind of a jinx.”

“Sounds… interesting. Well, I’ll be at the counter. My old man will tan me if I keep talking to you guys.” He sheepishly laughs and quickly leaves, with the baker giving him a glare. He’s at the other side of the shop when he yells, “I’ll be here if you need anything!”

People seem used to his antics. Beatrice wonders when that will be the same for the people in the Emilia camp.

Ha, who is she kidding, in fact. This troublesome girl’s one of a kind.

“Alright, Beako. Let's just try these out for lunch and then I’ll know which one I’ll buy when I’m on the date.” Her contractor stands up, holding a bowl full of those things and walks to the counter. “Not that you can eat though, oh well. If all of them turn out great, I’ll just buy everything then.”

Beatrice doesn’t care for any of her eccentricness. Natsumi Schwartz is the one who brought her out of her shell. She’s perfect the way she is.

Observing how she interacts with others, she’s like a guardian angel who brings calm and tranquility everywhere she goes. She’s proud to be the partner of such a great person.

For Beatrice, Natsumi Schwartz will always be number one in her heart.

Chapter Text

“They sure are lively, right?” Emilia asks the person next to her, which happens to be Otto. “Look at them, going from one place to another. So quickly, too! I wonder if it’s the work of a divine blessing?”

Just his luck. Everyone’s taking a day off except for him, and he’s stuck staying by his liege’s side listening to her ramblings. Garfield’s gone with one of the triplets, the maid, Ram’s off to buy whatever maid stuff she needs to buy. Everyone else decided to go hang out at some nice restaurant. Even Natsumi took a day off, and she’s, well, Natsumi.

Feels like these days everyone’s a couple, and he’s the only one still single. He keeps telling others and himself it’s by choice, and while that’s half correct, it’s not his choice most of the time.

“Like… Felt’s?” He recalls the rude girl, and the way the area next to her shifts unnaturally when she runs. It’s as if the wind itself is at her beck and call. “Maybe he does have something like that. He’s the Sword Saint after all.”

“How convenient! Would be a nice divine blessing to have…” she says absentmindedly, and seems to just remember that he’s right next to her and quickly adds, “Not that I’m saying your divine blessing is any less useful! We can always count on Otto when we’re short on some information, and the way you fight with the animals is quite unique, too.”

“No need to sugarcoat it, my lady.” He sighs and looks at the view forlornly. “My divine blessing’s for general, utility use. Almost completely useless in a fight.”

“Not true! I’ve heard from Garfield, and you bravely held him off for a while with some critters!” She gives him a pat on his back and continues, “You’re a capable member of my team, Otto! I’m glad to have you as my subordinate.”

It’s funny. People he knows at the bar always tease him about being surrounded by beauties at his new, fancy job. Some of them are actually jealous of him too, he can hardly believe it. With Emilia, he keeps getting.. What's that phrase Natsumi used? Subordinate-zoned? Yes, that’s it. Not like he aimed to get with her in the first place, mind you, but it’s still a bit demoralizing.

And with Natsumi, he had a bit of a crush on her when they first met, not that he’ll ever let anyone know about it. He still thinks it's understandable to like the girl who saved him from a band of cultists like some knight in shining armor. That’s until she went and burnt down a whole mansion to defeat some crazy bounty hunters.

Yea, he can safely pinpoint that little fiasco as the moment he fell in love. Too bad it was never meant to be, hmm?

He still thinks that he would have stood a chance if they met earlier and when he was actually doing decent as a merchant, but thinking about what-ifs for too long never did anyone any good. Would be fun though, if they ended up as a duo. Maybe Natsumi can be in charge of inventing things and he’ll be the one selling them.

Emilia’s words pull him back to the present. “Still, you sure you don’t need a vacation? Everyone’s having fun right now, you don’t need to stay with me all the time. I don’t need to be babysat, you know.” She pouts. “You can join the rest of the camp! Just don’t get into any trouble.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll have to decline.” He smooths out the wrinkles in his clothes. There’s nothing wrong with them, but it's a force of habit. “Everyone’s having such a good time while I’m still a bit shocked about the recent events. If I go, I’ll just ruin the good mood.”

“Well, I’m sure Garfield would still welcome you after he’s done with his little date. And you always complain about your work anyways after a couple of drinks, so it won’t make too much of a difference!” Ouch, his employer just said those words with an innocent smile on her face. Otto should feel insulted, but it’s the truth and she meant nothing sinister. Maybe that’s why it hurts so much more than usual.

“Those brutal words… Hah, I guess I’ll have to drink away my sorrows at the bar after all.” He takes his hat off and bows. “Do excuse me, my lady.”

“Otto is always so uptight when he’s not drunk. Just go have some fun!” She looks at him for a bit, all this is making him a bit nervous. “Do you need me to call someone to accompany you?”

“Ah, I’m truly wounded!” Otto places his hand on his chest dramatically. “To think my liege thinks so lowly of me, I’m a disgrace to this camp!”

Emilia giggles and just shoos him away. That’s a bit unfair now, how come when Natsumi does these kinds of stuff she’ll join in?

Oh whatever, everything will make sense after a couple pints.

Well, maybe more than a couple, if no one’s there to keep him in check.

Chapter Text

It’s been a nice date so far. Natsumi and Reinhard went to a lot of tourist traps. Well, she practically dragged him everywhere, since not even the sword saint can match her enthusiasm. And now they’re sitting on an open field, at night, doing nothing in particular, and she feels like she’s not supposed to have this much free time.

Definitely not an unbalanced individual who’s only direction in life is provided by her job, she can’t believe all the lies and slander people throw at her.

She’s still not used to this, though. A day off, and no one has attempted to destroy the city or kill her yet, has to be a new record. She’d actually feel kind of relieved if someone jumped out with a dagger right about now. Seriously, she’s lying under the starry sky, defenseless, is no one going to shoot their shot? Someone to beat up would really help get her stress down to manageable levels.

Defenseless is kind of a stretch, since Reinhard’s next to her right now, but that's not the point.

“This gives me mixed feelings,” She says, and bites into some kind of croissant-shaped bread. “On one hand, I’m used to these kinds of stuff being crunchy and crispy. On the other, it tastes pretty good when soft and dipped in butter and jam. It’s like my memories are clashing with my taste buds right now and telling them that it’s not supposed to be this tasty. Makes me feel kind of guilty that I’m enjoying them this much.”

“Your hometown’s bread, I assume?” Reinhard opens the wrapper and somehow the food’s gone in a second. Less than a second, probably. “Hmm, if you’re after bread with a crispy texture, you can try one of those long, thin ones. They’re normally served in restaurants though, and not bakeries.”

“Oh, thanks but no thanks. I’ve been to Olive Garden once and already had enough breadsticks for a lifetime.” She thinks back to that one time her parents brought her to that fancy Italian place that actually isn’t very Italian. Seriously, she has no idea how it’s not run out of business yet serving those weird, gimmicky dishes. Probably kept afloat by their garlic butter dips. “Ah, those are unhappy times, so let's change the subject. How’d you eat that fast anyways, you glutton?”

He blinks, and his smile afterwards almost causes her to swoon. “I am simply used to eating quickly to prevent wasting any time on the battlefield. Every second is precious, after all.”

“Oh, that’s one hell of a sensitive topic. Sorry I asked.” She winced. Stupid girl, learn to read the room and don’t mess this first date up. “Didn’t ruin your mood, did I?”

“Oh, no worries. It is I who should apologize for causing you discomfort.” There’s that smile again. The girls she knew back then would love him. They’re always complaining about stuff like their boyfriends not being sympathetic enough when they’re the one playing with them in the first place. With this guy, there’s zero chance he would actually get mad at anyone.

She can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

“You should be more selfish, you know. You’re so nice, and you believe anything anyone says. You’re going to be taken advantage of one of these days. What if I’m just dating you for your power, huh?” There’s a brief moment of silence, and she can’t help but sneak a few glances at his face.

Still, he remains unfazed. “I’m sure I’m a better judge of character than you give me credit for, and even without my divine blessing that lets me separate the truths from the many lies, I can tell that your words are genuine.”

“Oh right, that wind of truth thing. Crusch always is the first one to show up when I think of it so I blanked on you having that too. Hah… kind of a cheat, not going to lie, but I guess this solves a lot of problems for the both of us.” She pauses and hits Reinhard’s arm. “Hey, that was a near perfect response. What, did you save-scum this conversation until you found that one perfect answer, you ikemen ?”

“...I hate to admit it, but I cannot understand what you just said.” His calm expression morphs into one of awkwardness. “If you don’t mind, could you elaborate more?”

“Ah, I’m just projecting a bit. I’ve played games before that had this mechanic called a save point, and a player can save their progress in the game by reaching those points. So if someone abuses this mechanic to get the perfect outcome each and every time, that’s called save-scumming.” She sniffs and finishes the rest of her bread. “Because it’s a scummy tactic, you get it? And the name’s catchy, so it stuck.”

 “I see.” That’s weird, he doesn’t sound like he does, she thinks. “Well, the games you have in your hometown sure sound wonderful. Will I have the chance to experience them with you sometime in the future?”

For a moment, Natsumi lets herself dream about introducing Reinhard to her parents. They’d definitely think it’s a prank at first, but after the shock wears off she hopes that they’ll be proud. No, she knows they will be. Still, all that’s just wishful thinking, sadly.

She’s grown quite a lot during this short time stranded in this strange world, and one of the earliest things she learnt is how to deal with loss. She already accepted that she’s not seeing her family anymore and moved on, and the trials acted as a testament to her unwavering will.

“No, I don’t think we can.” She says, and then quickly adds, “Not that I don’t want to introduce you to the wonderful world of otome games, but the window for that has closed a long time ago.”

“Ah, you did mention that your homeland lies beyond the Great Waterfall. It might just be impossible for you to return, then?” He lays his hand on top of hers, and a comforting sensation envelopes her entire body. Of course, the ridiculously perfect Reinhard has a divine blessing to… comfort crying maidens, maybe. Sounds in character for a knight like him. “If you’re feeling homesick, I can always lend an ear. I am both curious and jealous about the environment that birthed someone as brilliant as you.”

“Personally, I think I’m being overestimated here, but I’ll take the compliment and carry on.” She looks at the sky and unconsciously reaches out with her hands. “Fun fact about where I live, or where I used to live, it is very bright even at night. So bright, in fact, people there could barely see the stars even when it’s after ten. The environment I grew up in is kind of like that. Only the best and most talented truly stand out, and other stars who should be shining brightly inevitably get smothered under all that toxicity and pressure.” She laughs bitterly at her own words and carries on, “The first time I properly looked at the sky after I landed in this world, I was kind of awed. I can trace the constellations, can you believe it? Even someone like me with my meager talents and blessings can shine this brightly. It’s a fucking miracle, I say.”

“Natsumi-”

“Hush, you said you’ll lend an ear, so please just listen for a bit?” She puts a hand on Reinhard's mouth and that immediately shuts him up. “What I’m trying to say is, the place I’m from isn’t much kinder than this one. It’s much less lethal, sure, but I’ve got you and everyone else here with me and I’m gracing you lot with my presence, so there’s no need to be curious or jealous about the place I grew up in. I’m certainly not.”

“There’s no need to undermine yourself. I’m sure you would have been successful either way.” Ha, fat chance for that. Reinhard always tries to see the best in people, even if there’s none sometimes. “I’ll have to apologize again. I do find myself strangely comforted by those words, since it assures me that you won’t be going to somewhere I… no, all of us can’t reach.”

“I mean, I do need to head to the Sages Watchtower in a bit with Emilia’s camp and Anatasia’s, but I get what you mean. Just don’t worry your pretty head about it, I’m not going anywhere.” She fishes in her bag and feels some pastries still left over, so might as well finish them now. “Alright, that’s enough out of me. A tart for your thoughts?”

She always has dreamt of feeding her boyfriend by hand, and there’s no time like the present.

Chapter Text

It’s almost time to leave, and Julius, always upholding the image of a perfect knight, already packed all his things yesterday and stands ready near the gate. He glances around him and notices that no one’s here yet, no doubt saying their goodbyes.

He imagines that he would be too, if Natsumi isn’t the only one who still remembers him. And isn’t that strange? Even the mighty Sword Saint’s memories were altered, yet Natsumi remains unaffected.

The idea that someone, or something is powerful enough to affect even Lugunica’s strongest knight gives him chills. Julius knows of his moniker, ‘The Finest Knight’. Well, former moniker now. He was seen as a role model, the perfect knight that everyone in the army should strive to be, but he always saw the Sword Saint as the true pinnacle of knights. What good is justice after all, if one does not have the necessary strength to enforce it?

And just when he thought he could finally reach that level of power, that chance was cruelly snatched away. His spirits no longer recognize him, and he’s left with nothing but his swordsmanship.

Still, isn’t that strange? Everyone, even the spirits, except Natsumi is affected by this… authority. What makes her so special? Is it the fact that she’s, if her words are to be believed, beyond the Great Waterfall? He doesn’t think so, it’s impossible that the power wielded by an archbishop can be limited by geography. Then why? What’s the reason?

It can’t be a coincidence, since the same thing happened when they were pit against the Archbishop of Sloth. He was almost rendered powerless against his invisible, hand-like projectiles, until his senses fused with Natsumi’s. She had no trouble seeing his power, and why is that?

He knows of the fact that she overflows with the Witch’s stench, so much so that even an archbishop cannot triumph her in that regard. And is that the reason? Those powers are only granted to those that the Witch loves, and there’s no one that she loves more in this world than Natsumi Schwartz.

There’re so many theories about her. Her exploits during the white whale hunt led to his liege deducing that she must have some personal grudge with the witch cultists, and some people in Anatasia’s inner circle even thought that Natsumi was once a part of the cult she helped bring down. In the end, it’s all just guesswork. As for Julius, he didn’t allow himself to dwell on that topic for long.

It feels criminal to doubt someone that did so much good without any solid evidence, so he decided ages ago to put his trust in her, and it has paid off so far.

Still, it's comforting, knowing that whatever happens to him, at least there will be someone that remembers what he has done. One person recognizing him is enough to anchor him to this kingdom, it seems.

His musings are interrupted when the rest of the expedition members finally gather around the caravan. The short-lived period of peace and quiet is over, it seems, especially now that Natsumi Schwartz is here.

“Being late is a national sin in Japan, but did you have to take it this far, Julius?” She asks, “This is a bit too early, even for you. There’s punctual, and then there’s arriving one hour before the mentioned time. At least that’s a shot in the dark, do tell me if I’m right.”

“Not quite. I barely arrived earlier than you and your entourage did, actually.” He informs her, and looks at the cheerful bunch. “I’m surprised you managed to drag them out of bed. Especially Garfield, with his unruly nature.”

“Some respect goes a long way, I guess. He’s been calling me captain and listening to everything I say since the sanctuary.” His confusion must be showing on her face, since she quickly elaborates. “That's the event that got me knighted, you know, the one where the Emilia camp saved the residents of Arlam village?”

“I see, I’d never thought I’d see the day you and respect go in the same sentence, but alas.” He can’t resist the urge to take a dig at her, he feels like his life is returning back to normal, if only for a bit. “Perhaps even someone as uncouth as you can be respectable when the situation calls for it.”

“You’re such a prick, you know that right?” She huffs, and he can glimpse a small grin on her face. “Never change, you. Never change.”

“Although regrettable, that might not be for me to decide. With everything that’s happening…” He pauses, remembering Crusch sat in a wheelchair, rendered helpless by the Archbishop of Lust and shudders. “I hate to admit it, but I’ve been doubting my strength more and more due to recent events.”

“Don’t be so down. You’ve beaten me before, so don’t be like that. If you’re doubting your capabilities, what does that make me, huh?” Natsumi nudges him playfully. “Think about others before you open your mouth, you prick.”

“Your strength lies not in your fighting prowess, instead in your mind, but thanks for that nonetheless.” He says, and he knows that he means it. “Still, I suppose your presence does offer some peace of mind, occasionally.”

“Yea, and you better believe it.” She replies, without any fire. Ah, she hasn’t realized it yet, he’ll give her some time.

“Wait, what do you mean occasionally? I’m a calming presence, you idiot!”

“I wish that I could take back that comment about your strength lying in your mind, Natsumi. If your intelligence is what this group needs to depend on in life or death situations, we’re doomed.” He smiles at her, perfectly serene, and he can already see her heating up.

Well, whatever happens, at least he can always count on her to make any trip an eventful one, no?

Although he highly doubts that the journey to the Sage’s watchtower will be boring, it's nice to have a failsafe and something to take his mind off more serious things. These days, everywhere he goes his eyes meet other people’s unfamiliar gaze, and every time he looks into a mirror all he sees is a ghost.

He’d never admit it to anyone but himself, but he owes quite a lot to Natsumi Schwartz, and he'd be unfit to be a knight if didn’t attempt to repay her kindness.

Maybe he’ll be in her debt for the rest of his life, but that's fine. There’re worse people to be indebted to in this world.

Even if his lady is still the first and foremost priority for him, Natsumi is currently quickly rising to second. And he’s fine with that.

He hates himself a little bit for the quiet acceptance. Good riddance.

Chapter Text

Reinhard sits at the back of a carriage with Lady Felt, and a pang of unease flows through him. He already said his goodbyes to everyone who’s leaving for the Sage’s Watchtower, but one in particular keeps occupying a large part of his mind.

“What’s got you looking so down, Reinhard? You’ve been looking back for at least an hour now, it’s starting to creep me out. Did you leave something back at that place?” Felt asks, annoyance showing on her face. He must really be out of it if his worry shows. The Sword Saint is a symbol of strength, and one that should never show signs of weakness.

“Do not worry, it’s nothing of the sort. I’m just slightly worried about the people journeying to the far east.” He replies. Wait, saying it that way that might seem a little rude, how careless of him. He quickly rectifies his words. “Not that I don’t have faith in their power. With so many powerhouses gathered together, I’m sure all of them will be safe and sound.”

“But not successful?” Ah, she caught on to that, then. “What are you so surprised about, huh? Reading between the lines was one of the first things I had to learn when I grew up in the streets. And you’re not exactly the sly type, so you’re easy to understand.”

It’s true. He’s confident that not even a powerful archbishop can defeat Natsumi and her group, but he’s not as optimistic about their chances of reaching their destination. After all, Reinhard tried to do so once before, and he failed. He can still recall the faces of those on the council when he reported the news regarding his mission’s status. The flawless tool they thought they had wasn’t so perfect, in the end.

“It might seem horrible of me to say this, but their chances of success are… very low. I’m not sure you know this, but I tried to reach the Sage once before when the royal family was infected with the plague that wiped them out. You’re the only one of royal blood left, so I’m sure you know how that attempt went.” He sees his lady nod, and continues, “The members of the group that set out to the watchtower are by no means pushovers, but they stand no chance against someone of my caliber. So-”

“You’re forgetting something here, aren’t you? Sure, I can acknowledge that they’ll definitely get destroyed if they’re facing you, but they aren’t. I’ve read up on that incident that killed the royals, and it said that you were unable to reach the tower, not that there was someone, or something strong enough to prevent you from meeting the Sage. There’s no unbeatable enemy they have to fight to get there, all they need is to figure out how to get close and get in.” She points a finger at him and pokes his forehead. “You were inexperienced and foolish at that time, and it looks like you’re pretty stupid even now. Just because big sis got all lovey-dovey with you doesn’t mean she’s suddenly just some eye candy, and even someone as dense as you know it deep down.”

“I don-”

“Ha, don’t you deny it, you idiot. If you really thought they wouldn’t make it, why didn’t you stop them before they set off?” She laughs, and her gaze turns less fierce. “You really need to understand yourself better, Reinhard. Maybe also take some pointers from some of my friends and learn how to be more stoic. You’re not doing yourself any favors, with your emotions showing easily like that.”

“You always see through me so easily, my lady. Really, I should be ashamed. Being outdone by someone so many years my junior.” Asking him to understand himself better, how demanding she is.

But he supposes it’s similar to what a certain someone asked of him a while ago, telling him that he should be more selfish.

“Very well, I’ve made up my mind.” He stands and kneels in front of Lady Felt, and bows his head. “I would like to accompany the group heading to the Pleiades Watchtower, with your permission, of course.”

“Ha! Told you he’ll cave in and ask in an hour, old man. You’re getting rusty, you. Now give me my money already.” She says to Rom, and drags him back up in a standing position. It’s quite a comical sight because of their difference in stature, as his lady needs to stand on the seats of the carriage to even match his height. “So much trouble you are, Reinhard. What will you do without me, huh?”

“Nothing good, my lady.” He smiles at her, and she barks out a laugh.

“Ah, to be young.” Rom shakes his head, and roughly shoves him towards the carriage door. “That was the permission you’re waiting for, so get going. No lady likes to be kept waiting, you fool. And don’t you dare worry about Felt while you’re gone, the rest of us aren’t that hopeless without your power.”

He doesn’t know what to say to them. A thank you seems too little, but that’s all he can offer right now. “I- thank you, Lady Felt. You have my gratitu-”

“Shut it and leave, all this sappy shit is making me sick.” She opens the door without even asking the driver and tries to kick Reinhard out. “Just have fun out there, will you?”

Reinhard willingly gets kicked out of the carriage, quite literally. After all, who is he to defy his lady’s orders?

____________________________________________________________________________

His decision to join up with Natsumi’s group wasn’t on a whim. He’s been listening to orders his whole life, and he supposes even someone like him deserves to make a choice solely for himself once in a while.

He’s lost so many people he cared about before, either because he didn’t try hard enough, because he didn’t want enough, or because he wasn’t greedy enough. He’s a knight. More than that, he’s the Sword Saint. Someone with as much power as him naturally should be the very symbol of Lugunica’s military might. His needs are always secondary to the people, that's what everyone always says.

Of course. For a monster like him, if his power were to be used solely for his gain, for his wants, he would be utterly uncontrollable. If he was born with the personality Regulus has, everything could be in the palm of his hand.

Still, he knows deep down, when he looks down on Natsumi Schwartz’s battered corpse, once surrounded by now fleeing Mabeasts, that he wasn’t selfish enough.

Not selfish enough… yet.

Reinhard is the world’s beloved. If he wishes for something, the world may see fit to grant him the power. He’s not all powerful though, since the world bestows him, and only him whatever blessing he needs to snatch victory. If it’s a power he wants for the purpose of healing, it’s not guaranteed that he will receive a blessing.

Reinhard is the one and only world’s beloved, and the world cares not for those close to him. Still, he recalls a Divine Blessing he received when he was a child, observing others trying their best to wield strength that he can obtain with just a thought.

Divine Blessing of Mastery. Every spell, every martial skill can be learnt, if he has enough knowledge about it.

He wonders if Natsumi Schwartz will hate him for what he’s about to do. But for once, he’s selfish enough to save someone he loves.

He looks towards the Sage’s Watchtower, then at Natsumi. He takes a breath and braces himself.

“Sacrament of the Immortal King.”

He… truly is a person full of sins.

Chapter Text

At first, everything was dark, then there was light.

Yea, it’s probably more complicated than that, but that's all Natsumi remembers now. Her memory isn’t what it used to be now. Still, she ought to remember to give herself a pat on the back for that joke. Haven’t thought of the bible in forever, and now she’s quoting it for a laugh.

An excellent one, if she may add. She’s pretty proud of that. Much better than those braindead generic jokes everyone throws around these days. She can still remember the days deez nuts jokes were popular like it was yesterday, and those times were pretty much hell on earth for her.

She fell for it once too, when she asked someone what the D in One Piece names meant. She was in shambles the day after that, and the day after that, and probably also the day after that. Evidently it still bothers her now, if she’s recalling this particular memory at this very moment.

Everything’s so unclear to her. Her memory’s too blurry for her liking, and her mind darts from one place to another. Hell, is this what having ADHD feels like?

Oh, Reinhard’s back, from doing whatever he was doing. She thinks about walking up and just asking him about what’s going on, but hesitates.

Something is wrong, she can feel it. She just can’t get it together and figure out what. She… really should ask Reinhard about this, but there’s just something stopping her from approaching. Some sort of intuition.

She’d normally follow that intuition since it had saved her a lot of times, but this guy’s her boyfriend, for christ’s sake. If she can’t trust him, who’s she supposed to trust?

…

Huh, when did that happen, actually. Was she the one who asked Reinhard out, or was that him? She can’t remember. She genuinely can’t remember. What is going on?

Maybe it’s just some sort of magic, like that time she sent that blank letter to Mathers and Ram did that hypnosis thing with the flower. Not her proudest moment, she has to admit. Why’d she even write a blank letter addressed to Roswaal for no reason? She was trying to request help, so that makes no sense at all.

Even though that’s not really what she thinks exactly happened. Wasn’t there someone else? Some girl who called Natsumi Schwartz her hero and gave her the will to fight on?

Calm down, just calm down for now. Chuck that gut feeling out the door and just ask Reinhard what’s happening, since evidently there’s something seriously wrong with her.

“Hey, Reinhard?” She tries to call for him, but her voice fails her before she can even speak one more word. Her throat feels extremely dry, so she reaches for him instead, only to grab at nothing where he should be.

She doesn’t like to repeat herself since it makes her look like a manic, but still, what the fuck is going on. Is she high right now?

She rubs her eyes and looks around. Everything looks black and white, but when she focuses, she can see… sand. And the next second, the scenery changes to the plains where she fought the Great Whale.

“Natsumi? You don’t look well, just stay there and I’ll fix everything right now. Don’t panic, please don’t.” Reinhard’s voice snaps her out of it, and her eyes focus on the man that just appeared right in front of her. He’s practically pleading for her to comply with his words, but she has a sudden burst of energy and scrambles back, memories flooding in her brain.

A bright light, then greeted by sandy plains and rock formations, and then mauled by beasts. Somehow, she’s not that shook by the fact that she literally remembered her death, maybe it’s the fact that she’s used to it by now.

That doesn’t make sense, not at all. Reinhard’s the only one who can come back after dying, she’s just Natsumi Schwartz, spirit knight. She’s strong in her own right, but she can’t… just nonchalantly recover from being turned into Mabeast chow.

Except she can, and she has before. That time with the rabbit comes to mind immediately because of the sheer brutality, and she feels most of the fog in her mind lift.

She forgot about Return to Zero, she really did. She can’t believe this, this is just…

This isn’t some magic spell, all this memory manipulation is far more than what a simple spell can achieve. How did she even get attacked with Reinhard by her side, anyways?

No, no, no. The real question isn’t how, but who. If it’s an authority, there’s a chance that even Reinhard can be affected. He can die and respawn over and over again, but if he’s incapacitated mentally, or turned into an enemy by this mysterious power, everything’s doomed and she’ll have to start over. And with her ever-fickle luck, who knows when the save point’s going to be this time.

“Natsumi, please stay still. We’ve not got long until we arrive at where we- you need to be. All this is for your own good, I swear.” He says solemnly, slowly approaching where she’s at. “Just… don’t make this harder for me, please.”

“What are you talking about?” She asks, then shakes her head and focuses on the more important topic. “Nevermind that now. Someone tampered with my head and messed with my memories. We need to be on high alert, since we don’t know who did it. If the person can evade your detection and get to me, we need to be more careful.”

Why’s he giving her that look now? She never claimed to be great at reading people’s faces, but Reinhard just completely radiates guilt at that very moment even someone as dense as her can’t miss it.

He holds her in his arms tightly, and she can’t help but struggle a bit even though she knows she’s much, much weaker than he is. “I’m truly sorry for this, Natsumi, but I’m the one responsible for your current mental state. It’s a divine blessing I process that lets me alter people’s memories, there’s… no excusing what I did, but it’s a necessary evil, please trust me.”

A scene pops into her head, images of her limbs being torn apart by wolf-like Mabeasts, and left for dead on this sandy tomb when suddenly all of the Mabeasts scatter, followed by a shadowy figure emerging from the dust.

She’s quite certain those injuries are fatal, but she can’t find the memory of the moment she rewinded, no matter how hard she searches. Her head’s pounding now. Everything lines up with what he said, the unease she felt from the beginning, the way her memory comes and goes, and the way she gets jumpy instinctively when he gets near. Her head’s telling her to get away from this man, but her heart says otherwise, and…

Natsumi is someone who follows her heart wholeheartedly, pun intended, despite her better judgment. She has stuck with Emilia till this day, and she never gave up on trying to save the twin maids back at the mansion when she first came into this world. If she tries, and tries, and tries again to save two girls who reportedly meant her harm, she’s not going to just throw Reinhard aside, someone who has been kind and helpful to her since the day she met.

Her parents raised her better than this. Natsumi is not the type of person to abandon those who supported her all this time, not anymore.

This might be a bad idea. Scratch that, this is a bad idea, but she’ll still trust him to hell and back. Give love a chance, and all that nonsense.

“Alright, alright. That’s a bit hard to digest and not going to lie, you scared me a bit there, but I’ll always trust you, you know that? Plus, isn’t it a bit early in our relationship to be having trust issues already?” She jokes, and then cringes a bit. “Sorry, humor is a big part of my coping mechanism, but that’s probably not the best time for that.”

Reinhard doesn’t seem to mind that too much, and just sags visibly in relief. She swears, she’s starting to see parallels between herself and those ‘I can fix him’ girls she scoffed at back then.

“You… don’t need to worry too much about all this, you know. I chose you, and you chose me.” She says, and dusts off some dirt on Reinhard’s armor. “Still, trust is a two-way street. When the time’s right, I better get a proper explanation about everything. And I naturally do value my own sanity very much, so even though I’m very grateful to you for saving my life, please do refrain from messing with my head, whatever pure intentions I’m sure you had at that time. Trust me to be with you till the end, will you?”

“I trust you, Natsumi, but like I said before, it’s a necessary evil.” That’s not a yes, but she’ll let him finish before she forces a satisfactory answer out of him. “You keep forgetting people you should remember, so I copied some of my memories and replaced yours. It’s a stop gap for now, but it’s all I can do!”

…

Say what now?

Reinhard keeps on talking, desperation seeping into his voice. “You were dead, or dying when I found you, I had to use the Sacrament of the Immortal King, and even I know that you won’t last long like this. The Great Sage is all knowing, so he must know how to resurrect someone, but I fear by the time we arrive it may already be too late. Since your decaying memories sometimes did slow us down, I thought it would be best-”

“Wait, wait a second. Decaying memories?” She immediately fixates on that, since that’s obviously something she fucking cares greatly about. “What do you mean that I won’t last long like this? What happened to me when I was resurrected? And why the fuck would it even affect my brain like this?”

“Look, Natsumi. We don’t have much time, and we already wasted precious minutes on this, so just-” She’s getting pinned down and Reinhard just closes his eyes, and she feels her mind turn sluggish yet again. No, no, don’t he fucking dare. “I’ll make you forget that you’ve died, Natsumi. Someone as good-hearted as you shouldn’t remember the days spent as some sort of walking corpse, not quite dead but not quite alive. For now, please just treat this as some sort of bad dream, and everything will go back to normal when you next wake up.”

“Oi, I- I told you to not pull any of that already! I’m serious, Reinhard, lemme go! I won’t be angry if you let me go. Right! Now!”

“I don’t mind if you despise me for the rest of your life if you live to do so. But if all goes well, I will be the only one carrying this burden and you need not worry about a thing.” He looks serious, saying those insane words. “It’s… the least I should do.”

That’s all she hears, before her vision fades to black and she falls into some sort of dreamless slumber yet again.

____________________________________________________________________________

She wakes up and is immediately greeted by the sound of a raging sandstorm. Great, the journey’s off to a spectacular start. The group’s going to get lost in this horrible weather, get scattered by some barrier in the middle of nowhere, and then get picked off by the wonderful locals one by one.

That’s awfully specific, wow. Her intrusive thoughts have gotten a lot more morbid than before, she notices. She’s not usually like this. At least she hopes she’s not usually like this, and it’s the thought that counts, no?

Oh, whatever. With everyone gathered in the caravan, nothing bad’s going to happen. She doesn’t know why she was so worried.

She tries to doze off but notices something weird. She feels like she’s not going to the Sage’s Watchtower on a caravan. She’s certain she started the journey on one of those, but now the movement feels like… she’s riding something, like a ground dragon, instead of sitting on some comfy sofas.

Actually, that’s not quite right. Call her crazy, but the buckling motion she feels right now reminds her of her dad giving her piggyback rides back when she was still in pre-school.

She opens the drapes covering the window and looks outside. Everything’s normal, from the way the scenery changes rapidly from the speed they’re going at-

Hold on for a sec, she’s still hearing some harsh winds blowing, but everything out there’s just… perfect, too perfect. Not a speck of dust obscuring the view.

Now that she thinks about it, she and the gang set off in a much less fancy carriage. This one she’s in looks fit to serve a royal. There’s something going on here and-

And-

And it’s none of her business. She’s so sleepy right now, and she’s sure everything will sort itself out after she takes a nap.

Chapter Text

It’s been days, and there’s still no news of Natsumi Schwartz. Yet, their ragtag team keeps on searching, following breadcrumbs practically in the dark. If it’s for anyone else other than her, Beatrice would have stopped everyone already, but precisely because it’s her, she continues to give her all, she supposes.

It’s that, and the fact that Natsumi already made a habit of defying everyone’s wildest imaginations. If it’s anyone else stranded in such a dangerous environment, any group would have thought of them as a lost cause, but since this is Natsumi Schwartz she’s referring to here, everyone firmly believes that she still lives.

Everyone believes that Natsumi Schwartz is someone that will never fall, not to the strongest of foes, or the craftiest, because of her own unique talents. Beatrice believes that Natsumi Schwartz is someone that will never fall because she’s not one to break a pact.

Despite all her faith, a small part of her being still worries for her contractor. Worry that Natsumi’s power may not be enough to triumph over this obstacle this time. This is why when she goes out in another search, alone, she still is overjoyed and relieved seeing her contractor’s shape in the distance, barely visible because of all the dust and sand.

And those feelings immediately turn into dread when she truly sees what has become of Natsumi Schwartz. Her skin no longer has the glow it processed before, now a dull, grayish color, and her normally determined expression is now a lifeless, sluggish one. Even her eyes that brightly shine most of the time, now resembles those Natsumi has when she’s in a particularly bad slump.

“Ah, Beako, is that you?” She turns around, eyes focusing on Beatrice, and a bright smile blossoms on her face. “It is! I thought I was seeing things again! Well, I still could be, but a little bit of faith never hurt no one. At least I hope not.”

“Natsumi, how… did you? How- how? Why are you like that?” She says, and quickly runs towards her. “This isn’t right, in fact! Turn back, turn back now!”

She sucks in a breath, and forces herself to remain calm for just a while. “This is- this is a curse, is it not? It feels like one, only stronger, I suppose! What happened?”

“Hah, my Beako is cute even when she stutters! So adorable and talented you are. Really, can a contractor ask for more from a spirit?” She grabs her and lifts her up, swinging her around stiffly. “Man, seeing you, and actually touching you makes me feel so much better. You’re truly the ultimate cure for a weary heart, my Beako.”

“Don- don’t you dare ignore me, stupid Natsumi! Stupid, stupid, stupid, in fact! Tell me what’s affecting you now!” Beatrice tries to pry her arms off herself and get Natsumi to take this seriously, but she can’t because she doesn’t want to worsen anything. “Curses get stronger over time, in fact! I might not be the most proficient in healing, but I’m one of the most knowledgeable in the kingdom! Tell me what made you like this, and I will turn you back to normal, I suppose!”

“My Beako is smart as well, I’ve truly hit the jackpot. But, ah, I’m afraid there’s nothing to be done this time. All this, you see-” She gestures to her body, then continues, “Isn’t a curse. It’s the work of a divine blessing. Shocking, I know. Not much of a blessing, is it?”

“I…” A divine blessing, that’s… not ideal, to say the least. She’s the great spirit who possesses knowledge that the common man would kill to have, but it’s precisely because of that she knows she can’t do anything to counteract a divine blessing. “What can I do, then? I don’t want to lose you, I suppose…” 

“Yea, a few days ago, I never dreamed that things would turn out like this, but that’s life. So merciful, yet cruel at the same time.” She laughs, a bit of pep returning to her voice. “There’s not much a naive girl like me can tell you, who has all the knowledge in the forbidden library at your fingertips, but do indulge me for a bit if you don’t mind.”

“What are you talking about, I suppose? This is no time for a story! I may not have the ability to dispel this divine blessing, but if it’s Reinhard, he surely can-”

“Believe me, you don’t want to get your hopes up on that front. You know me, my Beako. I have you, and everyone else in the Emilia camp. Someone like me with everything to lose will no doubt cling to life so stubbornly, but I’m this carefree right now, doesn’t that tell you everything you need to know?” She ruffles Beatrice’s hair, and tears begin to form in those butterfly-shaped pupils of hers. Out of hopelessness, or out of some other emotion, she doesn’t know. “Just… let me tell you a tale. Or more like an idea, I guess.”

If Natsumi Schwartz says it like that, how can Beatrice refuse?

“Nihilism as a concept is… pretty depressing. The idea that nothing matters is not something a normal, healthy person often thinks about. It’s not inherently a bad thing, mind you. Nothing matters, so I shouldn’t be stuck on something, or nothing matters, so I shouldn’t be sad over something, those might even be beneficial to one’s mental health, but still it’s a bit too extreme, you could say.”

Beatrice agrees, but says nothing. Natsumi crouches down and draws a small circle with her fingers, she adds a few dots in the circle, then points at it. “Just, think of this as the world we live in, and this as the major nations. Sure, they stand proud and tall right now, but in a hundred years, in a thousand years?” She wipes away the dots. “Maybe one of the four will still be standing. Two, at most. The- the point I’m trying to make is, if nations fade with time, then who will remember people like me?”

“Beatrice will, in fact!”

“I know you will. A pact’s mutual, and that means you fully believe in me, and I fully believe in you. Anyway, back to the topic, if you don’t mind.” Beatrice stays silent again, and Natsumi takes that as a cue to carry on. “Even if there’s wonderful exceptions like you, the world will forget everyone, no matter how famous or how accomplished, one day. And when you’ve pretty much lost everything, you start to realize that that’s all there is. And so I’ve found myself thinking, what’s the meaning behind what I’ve done? When I tried to find it, only to come up with nothing, I kind of got a little bit depressed. Just a little! But still, if in the end nothing matters, is there no value in the life I’ve lived? That really got me in the feels, and then I got angry for thinking that way. Value… is different in each person’s eyes. If nothing matters in the end, then I can value my life however I want, no?”

Natsumi brings her hand and clutches one of Beatrice’s own, then brings it close to her chest. She slept together with Natsumi before, often sleeping on top of her contractor because of her tiny stature, and the steady beat of her heart lured her to sleep countless times.

She can’t feel her heartbeat now, and that realization makes everything hurt, so, so, so much more.

“If I can value my life however I want, then I choose to measure its value by how many people I’ve affected, and how happy I was during this brief journey. Do forgive me for being just a tad bit arrogant, but I’ve affected so many lives with just my one, and…” She looks up and meets Beatrice’s eyes. “And when I’m with you guys, I’m happy. Compared with someone who simply lives a long life without any clear purpose, I’d much rather have a short life full of value, so I’m satisfied with this, I really am.”

“Where… are you going with this, I wonder?” Beatrice can’t help but ask, even when her voice is muffled by sniffles and sobs.

“This might be selfish of me, but what I’m trying to ask is, well, will you be my daughter? I might not have much gas left in the tank, so it’s better if I ask now when I have the courage and the chance.” She leans in like she’s telling Beatrice a secret and whispers, “I’m really scared of being rejected, you know? It’s one of the main reasons I waited so long before I actually confessed.”

“Yes, yes, I will! Wh- why now, I suppose?” Beatrice stops trying to hold in her wails, and just lets it all out. “Why not before, when we had so much time left? W- why…”

“Like I said, that’s life. Still, we might have more time than you think.” Natsumi’s eyes glaze over, and that sentence reignites that meager hope in the great spirit’s heart that was just extinguished. “I’ll do better next time, I swear.”

“Next time? So there is a cure!” Beatrice stands up and drags Natsumi in the direction of where the rest of Emilia’s faction’s current makeshift camp is at, but Natsumi doesn’t budge. “Stop… resisting when all Beako wants is to help, I suppose!”

“I know you mean well, but that’s… not really what I meant. On the topic of cures, though,” Natsumi raises her hand and points at… somewhere. “We can’t see it now, but that there's the Sage’s Watchtower. Me and Reinhard’s been trying to go there for the past… I’m not sure, actually. Everything’s hazy before I woke up from that daze.”

“Reinhard? He’s here, in fact? Is… that why you told me to not get my hopes up, because you already tried to get help from Reinhard?” Beatrice asks, and Natsumi gives her an apologetic smile in return.

“Sorry for not telling you earlier, but yea, kind of. Reinhard’s actually the one who found me almost dead in a random ditch somewhere, and made me like this. So if the divine blessing gets canceled by someone. I’ll, oh I dunno, die?” Her contractor says that like death’s nothing to worry about. Why- why is she always like this? “He’s trying to get me to the Great Sage since he or she’s rumored to be all-knowing and shit, but I doubt that it’ll work. Like, if the guy knows everything, how come Satella’s still sealed and not dead, you get me?”

Her hurt must have shown on her face, and Natsumi immediately notices. “Woah, don’t look at me like that, my Beako. You’re so much cuter when you’re happy, see?” Her contractor’s hands land on her face and try to shape her mouth into a smile, but it turns out more like a grimace. “Ah, shoot, my hand-eye coordination ain’t what it’s used to, what a shame. My memories are going too. I blame the zombification.” She sighs, then sits down and pats her lap. “I’ll give you a lap pillow instead, no way I’ll mess that up.”

Beatrice obediently does what Natsumi wants, and she feels some warmth return. Together, chatting like this, almost makes it feel like everything’s normal again.

“I know you’ve got a lot of things to say, but I’ll be honest, not a lot of time left until Reinhard comes back after figuring out how this sand barrier magic boogaloo works, so let's just enjoy each other’s company and forget about those depressing things for a sec, alright?” Beatrice nods her head, and Natsumi asks, “So, what do you want to do?”

“I… will be fine just listening to you talk, I suppose.” Beatrice always found Natsumi’s voice soothing, and Natsumi always likes to drone on and on, talking about anything that she’s taken the slightest interest in.

“Alright, then. Thanks for listening to me for the rest of my lifetime. Does that count when I’m already dead…? Nevermind that.” She shakes her head and keeps going, “We humans don’t live too long, so I always had a vague sense that I’ll die someday, like everyone else. One day, I’ll get separated from everyone I love. Still, I didn't think it'd be this soon. If I'd known I wouldn't get the chance to see everyone again, would I have lived a more fulfilling life this time? Would I have done things differently? I’ve always known that I’ll die much sooner than you will, so I wanted to give you hundreds and thousands of years’ worth of love. I wanted to give you so, so much more, I wanted-”

Beatrice says nothing again, and silence stretches between them for a while, with only the wind making any noise.

“Beako? I’m scared. Not of dying, mind you. Well-” She cuts herself off, and her grip on Beatrice turns tighter. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t even a tiny bit afraid, but that’s not what scares me the most. I’m scared of leaving you guys behind when I die, that’s a given, but the thing that terrifies me is forgetting everyone that I loved. I just went on such a long rant about how I value my own life, and if I forget everything I loved, and everyone that loved me, I don’t think I can go on. If that really happens, if I forget you, Emilia, Reinhard-”

Natsumi stops talking abruptly and looks around. “Speaking of which, he’s back. Damn, I still have so much to say, but I’ll settle with this.” She kisses Beatrice on her forehead, and says, “I love you, my Beako. Thanks for everything. Now just… go back to Emilia and everyone else. Oh, and do me a favor and don’t tell them about me, alright? If I see anyone I know again, this resolve of mine will definitely start to crack. It’s good for them, too.”

“But-“

“No buts, Beako. All this is a bit time sensitive, and they’re probably expecting you back about now, so it all works out.” Natsumi stands up and starts to walk away, glancing back at Beatrice from time to time. “If you're worried about me, don’t. I’ve got Reinhard, bodyguard extraordinaire, if I’m not safe with him, I’m not safe with anyone. For now, just keep the members in Emilia’s group safe in my stead, please?”

As much as Beatrice wants to decline and stay by her contractor’s side, she really can’t help but follow Natsumi’s selfish requests. She’s turning into more and more of an enabler.

She’s fine with that, as long as Natsumi Schwartz stays alive. After this, Beatrice will spoil her contractor as much as she wants.

Chapter Text

Natsumi looks at the fading silhouette of Beatrice, and then turns around, facing the opposite way. She sees Reinhard emerging from thin air, probably one of his many powers.

Or he’s just that fast. You were just seeing my afterimage all this time, kind of speed. Pretty broken, but considering it’s Reinhard she’s thinking about here, not too outrageous for his standards.

“You knew she was there the whole time, didn’t you? And you let me talk to her for so long, you’re pretty sweet.” Natsumi hums, and notices his wince. Ah, spot on, then. “I’d say good job, but someone went ahead and did that memory altering thing, so you can imagine that doesn’t earn someone a lot of brownie points.”

“You were supposed to wake up this soon. The dream should have lasted much longer than this, so there should be plenty of time for me to understand the mechanism of this barrier.” Reinhard sighs and comes closer. There’s a strange static in his voice, but it does nothing to hide the frustration seeping out. Frustration, and a hint of pride. “And yet, you defy my expectations every single time.”

“What can I say, I aim to please. Plus, there’s too many things in the dream that gave out alerts. Seriously, can’t you at least try to make the cart I’m on in my dream look like the original one?” Seriously, it’s unbelievable. The carriage she was in when she was unconscious looked so majestic and regal, probably made for those dusty old men on that council. She doesn’t know if she should be disappointed in Reinhard for not making a more worn down caravan her transport, or at herself for not noticing it sooner. There’s curtains and carpets and everything felt soft and comfy, it’s ridiculous.

Well, she was actively under the influence of Reinhard’s Divine Blessing at that time, so she can blame her own absentmindedness on something. What’s his excuse?

…

He was probably a bit panicked and too busy trying to keep her alive, so she’ll let all of this go for now. Anyone else and she would have already given them a couple good gut punches.

Natsumi didn’t punch him because she’s so nice, see? Definitely not because punching Reinhard with everything she’s got would only damage her very own hands. Definitely not.

“I thought you would be… more expressive when you woke up. You aren’t angry?” Ha, he’s treating her like a bomb. She’s not so delicate she needs to be coddled by Reinhard.

“Yea, I did say you didn’t earn a lot of brownie points for that thing you pulled, but you’re trying your best and this is kind of a volatile situation, so you get a pass.” She looks at him, and he seems relieved and a bit confused at her words. “Just this time, alright? You get a one-time get out of jail card, and you’ve already used it up. Not looking good for you, Reinhard.”

“I am ashamed to admit this, but I do not understand what you meant by brownie points.” He says, and now Natsumi’s confused as well. That’s a fairly common phrase, he should know this. Hell, even some of her friends that’s not too great at language know that. It’s like the guy’s from a whole other planet.

She feels like she’s missing something here, but if she forgot about it the thing’s probably not too important.

“Brownie points means… impression points? Vibes? Yea, good vibes. Back to the main topic, anyways. Out with it. Come on, don’t be shy.” Reinhard looks at her, and she can pretty much see the question mark plastered on his face. She rolls her eyes and says, “Christ, aren’t I supposed to be the one with a memory issue? You left to try and figure out a way past the barrier. Any progress on that?”

“Yes. I can see the flow of mana, and this barrier depletes its mana reserves quite quickly, so when the barrier inevitably goes down, there’s a window available for us to head to the Sage’s Watchtower. During the time it takes for the barrier to replenish its reserves, heavy sandstorms act as the watchtower’s protection.” He lowers his head and continues, “I suspect that is the reason I could not understand how it worked the first time.”

“First time, huh? Sorry about that.” Natsumi responds. She was forced to read a bit on the recent history of Lugunica by her beloved Emilia when she became a knight. She thought that it would never prove to be useful to her, but apparently not.

Stay at school, kids, or when your all powerful partner brings you back to life as a bonafide zombie and tries to drag you all the way to some watchtower in the middle of a desert, you won’t be able to hold a conversation with them. Very common occurrence, definitely. Natsumi’s always been so trustworthy, hasn’t she?

Actually, that sounds kinda catchy. The education bureau should have hired her to make a slogan, but they didn’t. Oh well, it’s their loss. 

After all this is over, she’s going to put those words on a T-shirt and sell them, and she’s going to be filthy rich.

Natsumi’s sidetracked again. She needs to focus before she ends up being the gal that gets put on a T-shirt.

“Ah, fuck it. Let's just get this done, no more moping.” She stands up, and starts walking in a random direction. “I can’t see the watchtower, so if I’m walking away from the place let me know, alright?”

“Natsumi, if you could let me just carry you, it would be much faster-”

“Nonsense, I’m a grown woman, I’m not letting anyone carry me like I’m seven.” Natsumi huffs, completely dismissing the idea. “I won’t do it. You can’t make me. In fact, not even Emilia can, so just give in and let me do my thing.”

“Natsumi, time is of the essence! Every second that passes, might spell your doom.” Reinhard sounds really stressed. He should just chill sometimes and enjoy the ride, it’s just a walk, man, nothing serious.

Wait, no it’s not, she shouldn’t treat this like a joke. There’s no guarantee how this reset will go, and even if she gets a lucky break and a good reset point, everything that happened in the loop’s gone. The events that shape people are reversed, and what is becomes what could have been. There’s no excuse for her being this carefree. In other words…

She lets her actions do the talking as she slowly climbs up Reinhard’s back. She’s shameless, utterly shameless.

Natsumi’s so glad Beatrice isn’t around to see this.

Chapter Text

Shaula’s bored.

She knows, she knows. There’s a library for the book of the dead right next to her, and she’s bored? How ungrateful, how greedy, no? No one restocks the shelf, but new books keep popping out like candy. Not like candy pops out of nowhere normally, but that’s what master used to say.

Shaula remembers a tale about some guy called Vaas stuck on an island with no one, only a coconut for company, or something like that. She never heard of something called a coconut before, but apparently it’s a fruit. Compared to him, she’s much better off. She has a whole tower, some fun puzzles, and a library. She even has a roommate!

… Who she would rather not talk to. He swings around that scary sword of his, and gropes her breasts, and then calls her hot stuff. She doesn’t like Reid a lot, especially when he steals her food. Stupid Reid, with his stupid hair that gets everywhere and his stupid accent that’s hard to understand.

Shaula should read some of the new books if she’s really that bored. So many names, so many different methods of deaths, and all educational! It’s wonderful, really. Reading books will make a small girl like her grow smarter and bigger! That’s also what master used to say.

Or just smarter, maybe. But if she’s smarter, her brain gets bigger and so does her head, so she also grows bigger. See? She’s already growing, the effects are immediate! Even if she’s not reading right now. Huh, that’s weird.

Ah… All this thinking’s given’ her a headache. She’s designed to be a pretty and cute gyaru, not a nerd! She’s got much better things to care about, like what she’s going to do for the next couple decades. Maybe snipe the same things she’s already sniped before? Some new Mabeast that got a little too big for her liking? Or maybe yell out names before shooting her killer beam.

She can already remember some names master used to give her attacks back then. Special beam cannon!  Spirit pistol! Avada Kedavra! She can’t remember some of the niche ones, though. Curses! Shaula’s gyaruness will be her own downfall!

Is that even a word? Gyaruness? Bah, if it wasn’t one, no big deal! Shaula just created a brand new noun, adjective. Whatever! See? She knows she’s getting smarter!

Her thought process suddenly gets interrupted. That’s strange, her spidey-senses are tingling, but she doesn’t see Reid anywhere, how come-

She immediately looks out a window and spots a dot in the distance rapidly closing in. That’s… not a normal Mabeast. In fact, that’s not a Mabeast at all. Shaula’s pretty sure that it's actually two humans, one running towards the watchtower and the other holding on for dear life.

What did master say about intruders again? Give them no quarter? Shaula’s not sure what that means, but master tells her to just shoot first and apologize second. Better safe than sorry, is what she said. It’s a bit harsh in her own opinion, but then again she’s gambling with the fate of the world.

These foundations seal the very witch herself. Compared to that, what’s another death among thousands? This world isn’t as kind as others, where a wish to bring everyone back can be achieved by just gathering seven dragon balls. 

Alright, she’s decided. They’re going to die today, and they only have their foolishness to blame. 

“Hell’s snipe!” Well, that should be it. Ha… what a bummer, she was kind of looking forward to seeing someone new for a change. At least the two chumps died a quick death, much better compared to being left at the mercy of Mabeasts-

Except they’re not dead, because the one with the red hair just deflects her shot by parrying it with his bare hands. That can’t be right, Shaula must be mistaken! Yes, yes, she’s been bored out of her mind for a while, so she’s seeing things!

She fires off a couple more spells just to be safe, but the guy just keeps parrying her attacks. Alright, alright, time out! What is this? This isn’t part of the script?

Wait a second. Shaula recognises that hair, and that sword on his hip, this can’t be!

“Hell’s snipe! Hell’s snipe!” She keeps spamming the attack, but the guy’s too fast. She can barely follow his movement with her eyes, shit. This guy really might be Reid’s descendant. She’s got her hands full dealing with one Reid already, she’s not going to let another just waltz in and mess with her!

Shaula can already imagine it! Two Reids, both battle crazy maniacs, going all out when they see each other! Doesn’t matter how strong the watchtower is, it’s going to fall! She has to stop the other Reid from arriving, but how?

…

All this thinking is making her dizzy, seems Shaula’s not that smart after all. She’s just going to keep firing off Hell’s snipe until it works, she supposes.

They’re getting closer really quickly! Oh no, she doesn’t think her plan’s working! Not like she had a plan in the first place, though?

Uwah, she doesn’t think she has it in her to stop this man and his friend. Master’s going to be so pissed when she comes back. She can practically picture it now! She can even kind of smell her scent. She’s so screwed.

Oh yea, Shaula can smell master’s scent, all right. She really is having an off day today, isn’t she? Visual hallucinations are bad enough as it is. She’s going to smell burning toast real soon, since that’s what happens when you have a stroke, probably. She’s four hundred years old, so it’s long overdue.

She hears someone screaming in the distance. Ah, that voice even sounds like master! Is this what dying of a broken heart feels like? If so, it’s not that bad, really. It’s as if master’s right next to her. Master, with her beautiful, long black hair, those harsh eyes of hers, and her unique scent. Feels so close, yet so far.

Wait a minute, that figure flying straight at her at mach ten looks really familiar for some reason. Is that-

____________________________________________________________________________

“Master!” Woah, look at that thing go, eh? With the speed of its zooming, it wouldn't be crazy to say it's at the level of an unidentified aircraft. “Master! It’s me, Shaula!”

That thing looks very humanoid, and’s calling out to her right now. That thing’s actually a girl, in bikinis, flying straight at their position. What the fuck.

First some bullshit light magic rains down on her and Reinhard, and now some girl with a hairstyle and clothes straight from a porno appears suddenly. What is this, some ero game? Wrong genres, completely wrong.

Natsumi’s eyes are probably the next thing to go, judging from what’s going on. Oh, her ears too. She’s so tired these days.

Someone needs to put her out of her misery. She always has this horrible habit of saying morbid things when she’s stressed, so she doesn’t mean that, or maybe she does.

Natsumi Schwartz doesn’t know anymore.

Chapter Text

Reinhard’s basically glaring holes into the back of this girl’s head. Granted, she did try to murder both him and Natsumi, so it’s fair enough, but it makes the atmosphere awkward. The tension is killing her.

Not literally, she feels like she needs to add that she’s still alive. Kinda.

This day cannot get any weirder. Surely, it cannot.

The girl she's sitting with, the one that tried to kill both Natsumi and Reinhard just a few hours ago, is chatting with her with the largest smile on her face. Now don’t get her wrong, it’s not the tried to kill both her and her boyfriend that she’s miffed about. For most people, attempted murder kind of prevents any chance of a future positive relationship from developing, but it’s not a dealbreaker for Natsumi Schwartz. Hell, even if she actually gets murdered by someone, she’ll still be a good sport and pretend nothing happened between them next time they meet. If she can’t be friends with people that killed her, she’d be a complete loner.

She barely remembers, but a lot of people in the Emilia camp killed her at least once. Shit, she’s sure some of them can brag about a killstreak, if they remember the redos.

Ha, now Natsumi finally understands how it’s like to be out of the loop. It’s not as fun as she thought it would be, to be completely blunt.

Back to what she was talking about. This girl she’s with, she understands all her jokes, oh joyous day. She understands her references more than her actual friends she had back then, and isn’t that a depressing thought? Some random gyaru that just showed up a few hours back calling her master understands what she says better than her friends that were with her for a couple years back in Japan.

That’s actually kind of concerning. How does she know that? And why hasn’t Natsumi tried to ask this girl any questions yet?

“Alright, time out. It’s time for some Q&A, alright?” The girl nods enthusiastically, so eager. Natsumi admits that she had a completely different image in her mind when Reinhard told her someone’s shooting death beams at the both of them, and can you blame her? Too much gap moe gives her backlash.

“So, uh, how do you know everything I know? Since I’ve come here, I don’t think anyone actually understands most of the things I’m saying. I’ll bet a coin that even Q&A’s not a commonly known word here, right?” Natsumi looks at Reinhard and he nods, still gripping his sword. The guy should learn to relax more, or he won’t get any ladies this way. Only relying on a tragic pretty boy energy can only take someone so far. But then again, she’s the one that proposed to him, so…

“What do you mean, master? You taught Shaula all these things!” Did she? If she did, she surely can’t remember any of it. Not too much evidence though, her memory’s worse than one of those early phones that's been sold as a second-hand product twice. “I always wanted to be like you! Watch, master! Just laugh, hey kick and break ya!” The girl, Shaula, is it? She makes a funny pose and mimics kicking someone but instead falls. Wow, she’s got the Natsumi Schwartz impression right, down to the very last detail. Just as clumsy as she is, it brings a tear to her eyes.

“Haha, see? Just like master! Only master would fall on a staircase, tumble down for a minute or two, and then break their back, or land on their head!” Wow, ok, emotional damage. Was she ever that bad? She hopes she never died and turned back time because of just… falling down the stairs. It’s too embarrassing to think about. “Master would then groan about it all day, and do around a hundred old man impressions! Some people say it’s very annoying and uncreative, but I personally think it’s really funny, master! So don’t mind their words at all!”

“Damn, sure, I guess.” Natsumi scratches her head, and then nervously giggles, “Uh, hope this isn’t a rude question to ask, but why are you dressed like that?”

“Oh, it’s because master likes it! After a hard day of work, master would always cuddle with Shaula, and say things like yuri heals the soul, or lesbianism is my new religion, and a lot more that really shouldn’t be said in front of boys.” Shaula side eyes Reinhard but he doesn’t budge, such a nice guy, being with her even during these trying times. “Master likes it, and I like being with master, so I dress like this! Reid does bully me sometimes because of my clothes, though… Oh yea, master! Why is your Reid so nice? Please, teach me how to tame someone like him! If I’m not mistaken, you did say the art of pegging can make even people like Reid be submissive for once, but you did also tell me it wasn’t suited for young ears like mine and dropped the topic. I’m old enough now, master, so teach me already!”

Jesus, hearing that word pegging come out of a mouth like that, Natsumi knows a couple old fogies that will most likely have an aneurysm if they are present right now. Well, if they weren’t foaming at the mouth after seeing Shaula’s outfit already. So much skin shown, it's ridiculous.

“I’m not going to tell you that word’s meaning, no way.” She says, and Shaula sulks and pouts. How old is she again? She’s the Great Sage and made this tower that’s been here since forever, if her memory serves. Centuries old, and she still behaves like an infant who doesn’t get her way. Not like she has much room to judge, with her being a total parasite, and all that.

She sees Reinhard glancing over, curious as a cat. Yep, definitely can’t spill the beans on the meaning of that word, or she’ll never have the courage to show her face to him ever again. She’ll spend the rest of her life, or unlife, in her case, as a hermit hiding in a random mountain.

“My apologies, while I loathe to interrupt this very pleasant conversation,” He sure doesn’t sound very apologetic, that guy. She’d know, since she’s his girlfriend. “We came all the way here not just for small talk.”

Natsumi and Shaula quiets down and Reinhard takes that as his cue to continue, “We came here in search of you, Great Sage. I’m sure you already noticed this, but Natsumi here has a condition, and it’s best if we can solve it as soon as possible.”

“Condition, eh? I mean, I didn’t really notice to be honest.” Seriously? This girl might be even worse than her in the brains department, and she's the one turned into a zombie. What is this, dumb, dumber and dumbest? At their judgmental looks, Shaula’s tone gets defensive. “Master’s energy feels like Reid’s, just a little different, and I haven't really seen a lot of people to know what’s normal and what’s not, so cut me some slack, alright?”

Natsumi looks at Reinhard and the guy looks completely done. “No matter. Natsumi died before I revived her using the Sacrament of the Immortal King, but that only resulted in a half-complete revival. We know this is a lot to ask for, but I- we both wish for the Great Sage to bestow upon us the knowledge of true resurrection.”

“Uh, alright, don’t see how that has got to do with me. If you want to ask master a question, just ask it straight to her face!” She looks at them both and adds, “Dunno why you spent so long coming here seeking knowledge when the Great Sage’s literally with you most of the time. I’m just master’s cute little apprentice, Shaula!”

Natsumi sees Reinhard's look of confusion morph into that of disbelief, and then to that of despair. She doesn’t get what’s happening, so many things are flying over her head and she can’t make sense of… anything, really. Can’t hurt if she asks, right?

“So, you aren’t the Great Sage?” She asks, and Shaula nods. This doesn’t bode well for her, it really doesn’t. “Alright, I can still work with this. Do you know where the Great Sage is?”

“Master, did you hit your head again?” Shaula reaches out and touches Natsumi’s head gently, and Reinhard must be out of it if he didn’t stop her from doing that. “Alright, I’ve done this a couple times before. Master, your name is Flugel, and you are the Great Sage that resides in this watchtower!”

What nonsense is this idiot girl spouting again? She’s no sage, and no way she’s older than this tower, she’s… in her twenties? Maybe in her thirties? She’ll just deal with that information later, since the million-dollar question is still unanswered.

“Look, I couldn’t care less about who’s the sage, frankly. Just tell us how to revive someone properly, or just do me a solid and magic me back to normal. I’ve been in this form for a while now, and the longer I’m like this the more I hate the texture of my own skin.” Natsumi eyes Shaula, and a terrifying possibility just appears in her brain, or what’s left of it. “Wait, do you even know how to fix whatever’s going on with me?”

No, no. Bad Natsumi, bad. Positive thoughts, remember? Shaula’s still got her cheer, so maybe she does know about-

“Nope! Shaula’s only good at killing, master! Don’t you remember?”

The following silence is deafening to her ears.

Chapter Text

Reinhard hears someone singing. It’s from quite a far place, but the abilities he processes allows him to hear even the slightest sound within a large radius.

It’s beautiful, he thinks. Almost like a lullaby.

He walks up a couple stairs and arrives on a balcony. Leaning on the rails is Natsumi, slumped over and casual, now only humming instead. She turns her head a little, and gives him a little nod.

Reinhard stops right next to her. “You’ve been up here for a while.”

Natsumi stops humming. “Have I? Huh, someone’s been taking notes. No one likes a peeping tom, Reinhard.”

“My apologies, but this tower is unknown territory, do forgive me if I stay alert while we’re in volatile environments. And one knight has to keep their guard up when another is busy taking in the scenery.” Reinhard says, and looks at their surroundings. It’s just endless sand in every direction. “Not a lot of things to look at, I take it?”

Natsumi looks at him and laughs. “Ha, was that a tease, Reinhard? Oh, how much you’ve grown, my boy. You know, this premise of a cheery girl with an emotionally stunted boyfriend would have made for a really good romcom idea back at… where I came from, I don't quite remember the place, but that ship has sailed long ago.”

He kind of understands her words a little bit now. Being in the same room with both Natsumi and Shaula forced him to adapt to their weird choice of wording, and he’s a fast learner.

“So, end of the line, huh?” Natsumi murmurs, “Hey, what do you plan to do now, then? The Great Sage’s nowhere to be found, and the apprentice girl’s no help unless it's in a fight. If you have any ideas, now’s the time. Go ahead, don’t be shy.”

“We could aim for the dragon’s blood that’s rumored to heal everything.” He reasons with her. Reinhard understands that everything might look bleak now, but they have to cheer up and look for a cure for her condition. He’s not sure how long Natsumi can stay like this before things truly become irreversible. “The apprentice girl said something about a trial, and that the dragon Volcanica lies beyond the last one. If we can finish that-”

“Nah, not happening. I’ve seen the first trial, and no one in this world is solving it.” She looks at him forlornly, and he picks up on the meaning of that sentence. No one in this world, is that so?

“So, is that knowledge exclusive to those that live beyond the great waterfall? Then Natsumi, why didn’t you finish the trials?” He’s confused, why is she so uncaring about her own wellbeing when she prioritizes others’ lives so highly? “We need to get to the room quickly!”

“Ha, I would have solved it if I could, but I just can’t remember. The memories are at my fingertips, but I know it’s already long gone.” He stops in his tracks, and Natsumi elaborates, “The puzzle’s about stars and their names from my world. It’s hard for me to remember all their names even if I’m my normal, awesome self, so there's simply no way I can solve it when I’m like this.”

Hearing her words, he lowers his head, full of ideas, none of them feasible. Is there truly nothing they can do to reverse her condition?

“So, no more ideas, I take it?” Natsumi sighs, despondent. “I guess I expected it, but the outcome still hurts like a bitch.”

“I can try to keep you alive for as long as possible, and then try and find some artifacts, or some way to heal you. There’s still a chance-”

“Hey Reinhard, you love me, right?” Natsumi asks, completely out of the blue. Why would she ask that now?

“You’re always like this. You always have been.” He scoffs, and it shocks even himself how strange he’s behaving now. “You… ask these nonsensical questions and act like nothing important is at stake when it's your life on the line, but when it’s someone from your camp, or even just someone you know in danger, you risk everything for their survival. For once, can you care about yourself a bit more?”

Reinhard winces at his own sharp words. He- he needs to apologize. Both of them aren’t their usual selves. Haven’t been for a while now. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

“Nah, I get it. It’s frustrating when you try and help someone that’s not willing to help themselves, no? Still, if you do insist on apologizing, then answer my question.” His love leans on his chest. “Don’t you love me, Reinhard?”

“I do.” He says, and the air stays perfectly still.

“Then show me, Reinhard.” She pokes his cheek when she says his name. “Hug me tight as if nothing else matters. Kiss me until I run out of breath. Tell me that I’m the only one you love.”

Reinhard digests Natsumi’s words, and both of them stew in silence. He’s just about to say something before Natsumi opens her mouth, and…

“Let me die, Reinhard.”

He stumbles back a few steps, dazed, and Natsumi looks at him with eyes full of concern. How- how dare she-

“No, you can’t mean that, you’re just confused. You don’t mean what you’re staying, that has to be it.” He says, but he sounds like he’s trying and failing to convince himself. Shock turns into anger, and he hisses, “No, just, why would you say that, after all we’ve been through? If you do not value your own life, at least think about how others feel! Think about how I will feel!”

“Reinhard-”

“Look, how about this, just give me one year. No, one month!” He bargains. “I’ll find you a cure within a month. I’ll force the elders on the council to hand over the dragon’s blood if I have to! Just please, Natsumi, please…”

He sounds like a madman now, grasping at straws. Even he knows the elders on the council won’t hand over the prize reserved for the chosen candidate just to heal some dame, and Felt certainly won’t allow him to use such a priceless treasure just to try and cure something that may be incurable. Natsumi’s condition is the result of a Divine Blessing, not some sort of sickness.

“There’s not going to be a cure, and we both know it.” And just like that, all his hopes are crushed by a gentle, yet cruel voice. He looks at Natsumi, and she’s staring right back at him. “Trust me when I say I don’t want to die like this, but this state I’m in, it’s definitely not living. Forgetting the faces of everyone I’ve loved is so, so, so painful. If I stay like this for one more month, can both of us bear it when I inevitably forget even you?”

Natsumi looks at him, and he can’t muster up any energy to give her a reply. “I don’t know about you, but I certainly can’t.” She says, and there’s no wind blowing. “Memories are what makes a person unique. If I lose everything that makes me Natsumi Schwartz, am I even the person you love anymore? And are you sure you won’t regret delaying my death?”

“I won’t, I’m sure of it.” Reinhard says to her. “Everything will end up fine, so there won’t be any regrets for both of us.”

The wind blows, ruffling his hair. Even his own Divine Blessings are mocking his inability to save someone when it matters, how ironic.

“I told Beatrice this when I last saw her.” Reinhard remembers what she’s talking about. He didn’t interrupt the conversation because he wanted her to say her goodbyes, just in case. “I measure the value of my life by how happy I’ve been and the people I’ve affected. I’m forgetting everything here, you know. I’ve completely forgotten the faces of my parents. I only barely remember Beatrice’s butterfly-shaped pupils, and Emilia’s long ears. I can’t remember how I contracted Beako, I can’t remember the date I went on with Emilia, and I can’t remember who’s the one who saw me as her hero. I can’t even remember if you were the person to ask me out, or the other way around. Everything’s slipping away and I just can’t stand it. I don’t want to live like this.”

His vision is getting blurry, unbelievable. He can barely process this. The Sword Saint, crying like a normal person.

“Ha, I remember a saying about a man’s supposed to only cry three times in his life. One at birth, one when his parents die, and one when their country collapses. Pretty bullshit, if you ask me.” Reinhard can feel Natsumi’s hand on his back, and the physical reminder that she’s still here calms him down somewhat. “Cry about whatever whenever you want, I say.”

“You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you?” Reinhard, still tearing up, asks a question they both know the answer to. “The time we spent together was so brief, I wanted-”

He wanted to give her so much more. He wanted their time together to be so much longer. He wanted-

“- to be your one and only.”

“Ha, so demanding, my dashing knight, but this dame will carry out your request to the best of her ability.” She hugs him from behind, and he feels his willpower crumbling by the second. “I promised Beatrice and the others a lifetime of my devotion and care, so I’ll give several lifetimes of my love to you, my one and only.”

“How heartless, Natsumi.” He wipes away his tears, and forces a bittersweet smile to appear on his face. “Your promise seems a bit easier to achieve compared to mine, doesn’t it?”

“Not really, no.” She quickly declines. Well, if she says so. “I was going to die anyways, so just think of this as… a mercy kill, I guess. Besides, you’ll just undo your blessing or whatever and I go poof, right?”

If only it’s that simple.

“I’ve never told you this, but this Divine Blessing of mine only activated once, back when I first arrived and saw your corpse.” Natsumi looks at him, raising her eyebrows. “I can’t just deactivate this power, since it’s not active right now.”

Natsumi’s expression turns sour. “So what you’re saying is that I’ll have to go and get myself killed again. Alright, you think Shaula’s willing to lend me a hand?”

“Considering how she treated you, I don’t think she will help you with that.” Natsumi tries to speak, but he interrupts her. “And you can’t just do the deed yourself. Some of your more serious wounds healed when you came back, so my estimate is that you’re quite hard to kill. I’m the only one present that is trustworthy enough, and has the necessary power to finally put you to rest.”

“Damn, ok. I'll take that back. Pretty tough job I’ve saddled you with, huh?” That’s… quite the gross understatement, Reinhard thinks.

“With that knowledge, will you rethink your decision?” He doesn’t dare to hope, but still he needs to ask this question before he regrets not doing so for every second of his remaining life. “It’s not too late to turn back, Natsumi.”

“Sorry, but I’m going to be a little selfish, just this once.” Her voice quiets down. “I’ll pay you back, I swear. In another world, I’ll give you all the love you deserve. In another world, we’ll have our happy ending.”

“In another world, is that so?” He doesn’t know what expression he’s making now, but he’d wager that it’s not a pleasant one. “But why not this one?”

Silence, once again. Reinhard should just get this over with when he can still manage to hold a sword at Natsumi’s general direction.

Reinhard takes his blade out of his scabbard. This… this the only time his hands tremble when he’s drawing his weapon, and the noises he’s making almost causes him to flinch.

“Hah, all this really feels surreal, just like a dream. Everything comes and goes so fast, and I can never remember how anything happened.” She turns away from him and takes a deep breath. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually have this stupid condition of mine to thank for that. Still, leaving everyone behind, once again. I can't say I’m used to this, even after so long.”

“Natsumi.”

“Yea, give me a second.” She faces him once again and kisses him on the lip. Why is she making this so much harder for him? “Mind if I face you when you, you know, do the thing?”

“Of course not.” Reinhard says, and the wind blows.

“Thanks.” Natsumi replies. She means it, too. “Wait for me, I’ll go see you soon.”

Reinhard moves. In just one moment, his sword’s buried deep in Natsumi’s body as she goes limp and falls to the floor, her clothes dyed reddish-brown.

“...Hold me a little tighter, I can’t feel my body anymore.” She says, and he embraces her, eyes closed. “Sorry I made you do this, by the way.”

Natsumi’s still saying sorry when she’s dying. But then again, she’s always been like this.

“Reinhard? Are you still here?” Natsumi slowly slides down, and he has to position her body against his. “I can’t see much right now.”

“I’ll be with you until the end.” He promises her. “Do not worry and sleep peacefully.”

“Thank you.” She smiles with a mouth full of blood, and yet it’s still the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. “I still have something I need to say, though.”

“I love you.” Natsumi Schwartz says, and the wind doesn’t blow.

“I love you.” Natsumi Schwartz says, as the light slowly leaves her eyes.

“I love you.” Natsumi Schwartz says, and the once brightest star in the sky flickers and fades into nothingness.

“I love you.” Natsumi Schwartz says, and the whole world slows down.

Chapter Text

Thought I’d post author notes after the fic competition results are out but the competition submit date went from November 14 to undetermined because of exams and I’m here like bloody hell I have exams too and I rushed it a bit why wasn’t I told and why is this announced after my last college exam just ended like come on lads…

So yea, I’m posting this now instead. Still fingers crossed hope I get a good ranking, like top 5 maybe? 

Wow, this is actually the first time I've finished a fic, not counting a one shot, I mean. I've got a lot of unfinished fics, and all of them aren't even half-way done.

I've got a Re:Zero fic with a Great Spirit original character which is also like the fourth hero alongside Reid, the Sage, Volcanica that's been sitting there for at least half a year not updated, maybe more. A lot of hero worshipping on that one and people bowing down to her name, so it's one of the ones I enjoyed writing for more because writing characters with a high rep is low-key a comfort thing for me, idk. Abandoned for some reason. Maybe I'll pick it up since I'm finished with this? No idea. Oh yea, can't forget Emerald green, where my Subaru gets body swapped into Crusch, wrote it cuz of Purple Prose and Ruby Red. Funny thing, both this fic, Supernova, and Emerald Green kinda clashed names with already established fics, so uh, happy accidents? Unhappy accidents? I dunno.

Can't forget my first fic (which I'm rewriting the third time put me out of my misery ahhhhh), and that one Tokyo Ghoul one I'm never going to write for ever again. Liked the characters I did for the TG one, but I just don't like the show that much you know? Overlord fic is fun tho, so I'll be updating that too.

Basically, been juggling like, 5 to 8 fics all at the same time this year, and the approach of focusing on one fic until it's finished is pretty nice, got to say. That won't work with my other fics tho since this is the only fic I've planned to have less than 30k words, others are like, 200k minimum for the framework I've written.

I'm getting off topic. Back to Supernova! Loved writing it, loved the comments, and loved the whole vibe. I think I'm going to be addicted to angst shortish writings (is under 30k short?). Its so fun, making people suffer, and see the comments, and seeing their pain and anguish. It's just... SO FUN. I'm hooked, I tell you. But this is too much angst for a joker like me, next Natsumi fic will def be a fluffy and cute and humorous one shot, pinky promise. Should you trust a promise made by a Natsumi/Reinhard shipper, well that's for you lot to decide ain't it?

Ah, I jest, I jest. Here's my notes for writing the fic, btw.

NOTES START

Fembaru reinhard 

A man should cry 3 times in his life, tease reinhard during undead

Reinhard’s Divine blessing make her forget she’s dead and a walking corpse

Aim is to go to the sages watchtower, to find true resurrection magic

Fail, Subaru asks for Reinhard to finally kill her as she is starting to forget him and her friends

She makes a reference to the Greek ship where the planks all get replaced since her memories are tampered by Reinhard to get her to side with him when they meet their old buddies who are hunting reinhard down

Brothers, let me cook

Ending chapter is “I love you, once again.”

start with I love you end with I love you

Chapter name can be Red string of fate, with reinhard and natsumi’s finger tied tgt with reinhard’s hair

Chapter name can be from violet evergarden

Go do a title drop somewhere near the end, something about if you love me let me go, my last moments will be as bright and as beautiful as a…

supernova

Badabing badaboom

How she dies

On the way to the sages watch tower, gets murked by some magic beasts

Will be told in form of reinhard pov

Stuff like for once, he makes a choice solely for himself, how selfish

And goes find natsumi to give support

And then cut to even thought he was selfish this once, seems like he wasn’t selfish enough

Sees her broken and battered body

Not selfish enough… yet

Immortal kings sacrament (yea that’s pretty fucking selfish, probably selfish enough I guess?)

I’m so fucking cracked lol

You won’t be a weapon but a person worthy of that name

Call back to that when he sees her corpse for maximum fucccckkk meeee effect

A gift from god return to sender

Not everyone gets a happy ending

Overall a metaphor for dementia

Have shaula ask Natsumi about how she ask reinhard out and make her panic cuz she don’t remember

We can be together in another universe, but why can’t it be this one?

Divine blessing can’t be canceled, so Reinhard got to kill her with his own hands

Chapter 5 pov some guy on the expedition

6 PoV Reinhard cuz he needs to see her corpse

7 natsumi

8 maybe Beatrice or otto

9 Reinhard at the sage watchtower

10 shaula idk hard to write

11 Natsumi

12 Reinhard

NOTES END

Pretty unorganized, but whatever it works so eh. Here's some art of Natsumi I've drawn too, cuz I thought why not.

Pretty neat, right? Not my usual artstyle, so there's only a mugshot. I think if I try to draw arms and legs and the whole body when I'm exploring chibi artstyle I'll end up dead.

Chapter Text

“Whew, that was… intense, geez. The genres got all mixed up for a second there, like zombies? Really?” Natsumi says, holding her head. Oh, she’s feeling her memories come back to her, bit by bit. She’s starting to remember stuff again.

Said stuff Natsumi’s remembering also includes her time spent with Reinhard. Feels like she’s finally drinking a cup of coffee after two consecutive days of working without a wink of sleep. Man, is this how engineering students feel all the time? She’s very happy that she isn’t one of them, at least. If she ever chooses that as a major, she’s killing herself and choosing another one, like marketing or law or something.

Ah, wait, stop right there. No more suicidal jokes, bad girl. She promised a lot of people she won’t treat her life as something that can be thrown away anymore, and she’s not one to break promises, at least not after that happened.

“Alright, that’s all sorted. Now to figure out when and where am I even at.” She stands up and has a look around. Everything’s steady so she’s not on the carriage already, and she’s not outdoors. Looks like a hotel room to her. She walks towards the curtains and opens them, and is greeted by darkness. Ah, so it’s night, huh? How far did she return to? She sincerely hopes that she won’t have to fight the many archbishops again. Dealing with every one of them, mainly Regulus, was such a pain in the ass the first few times.

Natsumi looks out the window yet again, and squints. She sees the city she just left before here, damaged, but recovering. It’s night, yet there’s still some hard working folk out there repairing the many destroyed homes. Makes her feel bad, actually. She’s a knight, she should be working harder than anyone in the event of a crisis like this, and yet here she is, confused and wasting time.

At least this means she returned to a time after the archbishops were defeated. Thank goodness for that, hmm? Sure, she’d welcome another chance to beat them up for their crimes, and again, it’s mainly Regulus she wants to kill. Gee, she wonders why. Still, it’s too much work.

She decides to stop dwelling on the fantasy of bashing Regulus’ face in, since she’ll spend the whole night, and maybe the next day thinking about it. Instead of doing that, she dresses in her usual outdoor clothes, grabs her whip, and decides to just go out and ask someone what day it is. She can ask someone from her camp, of course, but she doesn't want to be a bother.

Natsumi feels like she’s forgetting something here. Thankfully, it’s not a case of forgetting because her brain’s literally decomposing inside her skull, but just forgetting something she should know just because she hasn't done it in a while. Let her think a bit.

Her hands feel odd. Weird, is she supposed to be holding something? Her weapon? She takes the whip out and holds it for a while, and then puts it back at her waist. That’s not right…

Subconsciously, she pushes her hands together and holds them. She looks down, sees her hand holding her own self, and realises what she’s missing.

Oh, her dear, dear Beako. She can’t believe she forgot! Beako always sleeps by her side, and she’s currently suffering from hand holding withdrawal from her cute spirit. Natsumi hasn't held Beatrice’s hand for ages, since Reinhard spirited her away from her jolly group of misfits. So now the question is where’s she gone? If Beako’s not by her side because she’s still recovering, maybe the attack on the city’s not long ago.

Hah, Natsumi’s blowing herself away with her own brilliant deduction skills. Give her a Deerstalker and a pipe, and she can call herself Sherlock Holmes. Or maybe Detective Conan suits her more, since it’s a Japanese show.

Still, this is a bit concerning. Beako always kept watch over Natsumi when she’s sleeping, the last time she didn’t do so was like, the day before that date she had with Reinhard, since Natsumi didn’t want anyone, not even her spirit, see her pinning for someone so pathetically like some side chick in one of those shitty harem shows.

If she really rewound back to that night, then all is well. She normally has worse luck than that though, you know? Maybe it’s the universe treating her right for once. She just used up all her negative luck, so now it’s only good luck left, or something like that. She’s not a fortune teller or anything grand, so she’s not entirely sure.

Ah, no use thinking about that now. She’s going to go out for a walk, to get some fresh air too. No risk of breathing in some sand and hacking your lungs out in this place, thank goodness. Who knows, might help her brain work a bit faster even, now wouldn’t that be a treat.

Natsumi walks down the stairs quietly, careful to not wake the others, and reaches the main entrance. She slips out, and she feels so happy and free she does a little jog. She’s so glad that there’s no imminent death waiting for her, for once in her life. All that stress and regret gone, poof, as easy as that. It’s magical, really. Who needs a therapist, right?

“Schwartz? What are you doing here?” She turns around, and faces the man that stayed with her even after death in the previous loop. Reinhard looks much better this way, she thinks. Clean uniform with no wrinkles, expression fond, not desperate, and an overall better vibe. “I sensed you leaving your temporary residence without your spirit at your side, so I came over.”

“It’s nothing serious, so don’t worry about it.” Natsumi waves his concerns off, and continues, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I decided to go for a jog, clear my head up.”

“O-oh, is that so?” Ha, the great Sword Saint, stammering. Bet he doesn’t have a Divine Blessing for that. “Well, I wish you a pleasant evening, then.”

Natsumi looks at Reinhard’s retreating back and sighs. She did promise to give him all the love she can muster in another world, didn’t she. He’s going to have to get used to all that love she’s going to pile on the poor guy, and what better way to do that than stopping his retreat because of his embarrassment?

“You’re not imposing, don’t worry. You don’t seem like you’re sleeping anyways, so unless you want to catch some zs or have something urgent to do, you can join me if you want to.” 

“Very well, I hope I’m not troubling you.” He hesitates a bit, then says, “You don’t need to go out of your way to do something for me, Natsumi.”

“Nonsense, it’s my pleasure. Plus, we’re a couple now, so you better get used to me doing things that will make you happy.” She replies, and pretends to not notice Reinhard’s blush. It’s easy to do, really. It’s dark as hell, and he doesn’t know that she sees well in the dark. “Now come here and give me a hug, or I’ll go over there and give you one myself.”

He complies, and both of them wrap their arms around each other. She leans back and her hands clasp Reinhard’s own. His hands can easily crush entire countries, but it’s also his hands that are handling her with so much care and affection she can’t help but love Reinhard back.

“I love you.” Natsumi Schwartz says, and the whole world slows down.

Chapter Text

One moment he is on the balcony of the Sages Watchtower, holding the sword that ended Natsumi’s life, and the next he looks around and finds himself in an inn of sorts. Reinhard’s Divine Blessing gives him a perfect memory, so he immediately recognizes that he’s currently residing in one of Watergate City Priestella’s many refugee camps. He volunteered to guard the people forced to leave their homes and live here because of the danger still present, but now he finds it hard for him to care about these civilians because of what he just experienced.

The journey with Natsumi, and eventual heartbreak, everything was too real for it to be just a dream. But the reality is that he’s no longer at the watchtower stricken with grief. He doesn't feel the blood of his lover staining his clothes anymore, and for that he is grateful.

Still, ensuring Natsumi’s safety comes first and Reinhard searches for her essence and finds her life force not too far away from him, strong and healthy. He can’t believe it, maybe the world finally decided to take pity on him and gave him a second chance to make things right. Or maybe even Od Laguna couldn’t bear to imagine how a world without Natsumi Schwartz would have turned out. 

No, that can’t be it. Od Laguna does bless the select few, but it has never overwritten the fundamental laws of the world before just for one person. Still, Reinhard finds it hard to comprehend. It’s impossible that the moments he spent with Natsumi, crossing the desolate desert and entering the Sage’s watchtower was but a bad dream, but if it’s not just a figment of his imagination, then what can it be? It can only be the work of a Divine Blessing, but-

Reinhard breathes in, and then out. Panicking now will do no one any favors, and the last thing he wishes to do is to jump to conclusions just because he’s agitated. He thinks of all the abilities he wields, mentally ticking off each and every one of them. None of them does something as absurd as rewinding time, unless…

…

Natsumi Schwartz, as lovely as she is, has her moments of insanity. He recalls the moments where she seemingly just freezes in the middle of a conversation or when on a patrol, and somehow uncovers some scheme or some villain that will endanger so many innocents if left unchecked. Reinhard has been part of a group, consisting of Felt, some royal knights and their candidates that tries to deduce the source of her many episodes, so to speak. The most popular theory is that Natsumi somehow has a kind of Divine Blessing that lets her detect malice, but what if her power is more than what meets the eye?

What if instead of a simple gift to understand and uncover emotions around her, it’s some sort of foresight that gives the holder of the blessing visions of the future so vivid, it feels like you’re living through them?

He gets lost in his thoughts and can’t help but realize just how much sense everything makes now. Every single time Natsumi suddenly pops out with some information almost impossible to attain, her face pales. She sometimes shakes in fear, and sometimes just stares out to space with a tired look on her face. If she has these horrible, realistic visions every time, her reactions to getting these revelations are completely understandable.

Somehow, Reinhard must have learnt how to harness her Divine Blessing. Perhaps he copied her ability after being in such close proximity with her for quite a long time and received such a foreboding vision. Or perhaps he stole it from her, since he can’t have good things without ripping it out of others’ hands.

Maybe it’s better this way. If Natsumi remembers her time as a walking corpse, how Reinhard failed her time and time again, she will no longer tolerate his presence. He would have accepted it and left her alone before but now that he experienced what true love is, he can’t go back to how things were before when he was all alone, with no deep connections outside of the Felt camp. He saw what he did to Natsumi when they were traversing the sandy desert together. Altering her memory puts a bad taste in his mouth, but he’s willing to scoop that low if it keeps his beloved by his side.

He remembers Natsumi explaining the concept of heaven and hell to him once after he got curious when she scolded a kid for stealing her belongings. Surely, his depraved actions will be punished, but hell is no place he hasn’t already known.

Reinhard knows that he’s being utterly unreasonable, but he dismisses that small part of him that screams and berates him for forcing Natsumi to walk a cruel path with him immediately. He’s always been the Sword Saint to others, but only Natsumi, and mayhaps Felt as well see him as Reinhard. He’s given so much, and-

Is it really selfish to want to receive the love he’s given away?

____________________________________________________________________________

“Schwartz? What are you doing here?” Natsumi turns around to face him, and he almost chokes, full of emotion. Her body is no longer decaying, and she’s right in front of him , safe and sound. He carefully schools her features back to calm, and continues, “I sensed you leaving your temporary residence without your spirit at your side, so I came over.”

“It’s nothing serious, so don’t worry about it.” Natsumi waves his concerns off casually, and says, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I decided to go for a jog, clear my head up.”

“O-oh, is that so?” If she can joke and say things like that, it’s almost certain that he and he alone knows what may happen in a few days' time. As much as he wants to stay with her now, he needs to devise a plan to keep her alive. “Well, I wish you a pleasant evening, then.”

Reinhard turns away from his lover with great difficulty, and almost musters up the willpower to walk away when he hears a sigh. “You’re not imposing, don’t worry. You don’t seem like you’re sleeping anyways, so unless you want to catch some zs or have something urgent to do, you can join me if you want to.”

He supposes spending some time with Natsumi won’t hurt. He, with his many Divine Blessings, can hatch a plan ensuring everyone’s safety later. “Very well, I hope I’m not troubling you.” He hesitates a bit, then says, “You don’t need to go out of your way to do something for me, Natsumi.”

“Nonsense, it’s my pleasure. Plus, we’re a couple now, so you better get used to me doing things that will make you happy.” She replies, and Reinhard finds himself blushing. At least Natsumi can’t see that well in the dark, small mercies. “Now come here and give me a hug, or I’ll go over there and give you one myself.”

Reinhard complies, and both of them wrap their arms around each other. He feels her hands clasp his own. He can feel her pulse like this, and with their bodies pressed against each other, he can hear her heartbeat, loud and clear. For once in his life, he’s given a second chance. He knows he shouldn’t squander this miracle, but a little indulgence shouldn’t hurt.

“I love you.” Natsumi Schwartz says, and the whole world slows down.

Chapter Text

Betty’s on guard right now. It’s only natural, she supposes. The spirit suddenly wakes up in some place where she isn’t supposed to be and she can’t even remember how they got here. Maybe it’s simply alarming for a normal living being, she doesn’t need to sleep as a Great Spirit, so something must have gone terribly wrong for her to have a significant gap in her memories. The only one she can only think of with this sort of ability is the Archbishop of Gluttony, and if that monster is present…

She feels a presence above her and quickly looks upward, ready to defend herself. The assailant is wearing a knight uniform, but Betty shall stay alert, she supposes. Those witch cultists are cunning creatures that can and have worn disguises before, and she knows that they will once again scoop that low to try and ambush them at their most vulnerable. She lets the person fall down, but immediately regrets that decision once she can clearly see the face of said person.

It’s Natsumi, and her expression stays peaceful even after that fall which doesn’t bode well. Betty rushes to the side of her contractor, tries to put her hands under Natsumi’s nose to feel her breathing and fails because she can’t reach that far. Ah, the downsides of being a chibi, curses! She settles for feeling her pulse, senses movement and lets out a sigh of relief. Perhaps Natsumi is just drugged and unconscious. It may not be the best alternative, but compared to recent events this is quite mild, really.

Still, this place is eerie. In every direction there’s an endless expanse of nothingness. Perhaps it just seems that way and she’s in an illusion, but this feels too real to be one so Beatrice immediately dismisses that thought. Hmm, maybe if she uses some wind magic to check where the edge of this area is…

She calls on her mana, and the air swirls and whirls around her fists. Alright, that’s good enough, she supposes. Ready, aim, and fire!

“Al Fura!” The magic spell rushes out of her palm and she closes her eyes, focusing on its mana signature. The moment it faces an obstacle, the energy will flicker and disperse, then at last slowly fade away. Ha! Betty is such a smart and talented spirit. The spell will hit some sort of wall anytime now, and then she’ll drag her contractor and herself out of here, back to somewhere safe. She’ll do such a good job Natsumi will definitely praise her again. N-not like she likes it a lot or anything! Just… a little bit, she supposes.

Beatrice keeps still and continues to wait for the impact. She waits a while, and waits some more, and waits until the spell goes outside of her radius. Uh oh, that was not supposed to happen. Code red, code red! What should Betty do when something doesn’t go to plan, other than flail around cutely, of course!

Panicking is no good, that she knows, so she starts to think instead. Should she fire that spell in all directions, or should she conserve her mana? She doesn’t have much left ever since she made that deal with Natsumi. She will never regret contracting with such a lovely girl, but she can’t help but wonder if there’s a more efficient way to deal with the rabbits. Some more reserves would have been quite useful right about now.

“Great Spirit?” A voice calls out to her, and she turns around so quickly it almost gives her whiplash. Oh, it’s just the Sword Saint accompanied with an unknown, purple-haired knight. Can’t say she has seen this one before, but she had been a shut-in for hundreds of years until recently, so it is only natural that she doesn’t know the names of some less important knights in the military. If Reinhard is walking with this person he must have proved to be trustworthy, or at the very least on their side.

Beatrice thinks back to a term Natsumi told her before, something about sleeper agents. It still sounds like nonsense to her now so she decides to forget about this irrational fear and not, as Natsumi often says, ruin the good vibes.

“You’re here now. Great, I suppose.” She huffs and grabs Reinhard’s hand, leading him to where her contractor lies. “Natsumi’s sleeping here and can’t be woken up. Do something about that with your blessings, or if you can’t just guard her until I figure something out. You too, knight.”

Beatrice looks at both knights and notices their concerned demeanor. Alright, the kind and cute Betty can say some words to calm their weary hearts. Perhaps telling them that Natsumi is physically well would help? Well, it’s better than letting them dwell in their sad thoughts while standing guard next to the source of their worries. Very well then, she’ll-

Do nothing, since a large rectangle appears right in front of them and whatever words of comfort she was planning to offer just died on her lips. The thing doesn’t move and she can’t feel any energy coming from it, but its surface abruptly flickers and glows, showing the number ten. Then nine, eight-

This is a countdown, Beatrice realizes, far too late. A countdown for what, she doesn’t know, but she once again readies herself and calls for the knights to do the same. The three of them stand with their backs facing each other, forming a protective triangle around Natsumi’s body until the countdown reaches zero and noise can be heard coming from a strange contraption beside whatever that thing is. She strains her ears and hears-

“Welcome to the theatre. Please enjoy your stay.”

Chapter Text

Loop 1

The last thing she remembers is Reinhard’s heartbroken face as she confesses her love to him, with his sword piercing her heart, or whatever’s left of it. Now, she lies on the desert floor and realizes that fate is a lot crueler than she expected it to be, as she looks upon her rotting, broken body.

Reinhard kneels beside her. Time doesn’t seem to pass, as if the world itself is trapped in that very moment, when her soul rewinds and her mind shatters, and she realizes that she’s brought back beyond the point of no return.

She goes through the motion when Reinhard asks her what’s the matter, almost like she’s reading from lines on a script and acting as the character Natsumi Schwartz, watches as her beloved once again heads towards the watchtower in search for a cure, and-

She forgets, more and more, as she sinks deeper into despair.

Still, when the time comes for Reinhard to end her life a second time, she knows that her love for him still stands strong, even after everything.

“I love you.” Natsumi Schwartz says, and she knows from Reinhard’s bittersweet expression that what she says is still true, as she once again welcomes the sweet embrace of death.

____________________________________________________________________________

Loop 3

“Natsumi, please, can you hear me?” Reinhard asks, and-

His voice shakes, like he’s on the verge of breaking. His fingers hover over her cheek, hesitant and afraid.

Ah, Natsumi’s dying again, isn’t she? They were careless, and the desert separated them. She was… mauled by beasts, like the first time. He should have been more vigilant, but it’s too late for regrets now, no?

Her skin is cold, but she’s not dead. Not yet.

“I remember,” she blinks and says, lips cracked and colorless. “Your voice. It’s warm.”

Reinhard inhales sharply. “Good… That’s good. Just hold on to that, alright? I’m here. I’ll help you remember everyone else important to you, before we go.”

Her eyes wavers, and she asks him, “Who else was important to me? I can only remember you now, Reinhard.”

Reinhard knows what she says is the truth, and his heart breaks. Still, a small part of himself is relieved that at the very least, he remains in her memories. How selfish, no? But he can’t help it. Reinhard has always been someone who would keep something and let them rot, rather than letting go and moving on.

“I can’t feel too much now, so it’s better if I say this before it’s too late.” Her words snap Reinhard back to the present, and he looks at her as she touches his cheek.

“I love you.” She says, and the wind doesn’t blow.

____________________________________________________________________________

Loop 6

“I made you tea!” Reinhard hears Natsumi say, hands wrapped around an empty cup. Still, she smiles and hands it to him. He reaches out, puts his hand beneath hers, and lifts the cup to his lips, pretending to take a sip.

“So? So? How is it?” She asks eagerly, eyes shining with excitement. It’s the most emotion he’s seen coming from her in a while, and he hates to break her heart like this. “It's my brand new recipe. Beako and I worked hard on it, you know?”

“Mmm, it’s wonderful, thank you.” he hums softly, “Still better than esteemed grandfather's, somehow. If he was here, he’d surely ask you for the recipe.”

She giggles, and the sound warms his heart. He’s glad Natsumi's still in there, even if she’s… like this, now.

“It’s because everything they brew in this world,” Her hands return to her side, leaving the empty cup in his grasp. “Tastes like nothing but hot leaf juice. That’s what Iroh said, anyway.”

She smiles, and he returns hers with all the enthusiasm he has. He sees the world caving in, as darkness approaches the two of them rapidly, but he finds out he doesn’t really care about that, since she’s the only person he sees right now.

“I love you.” She says, and the wind doesn’t blow.

____________________________________________________________________________

Loop 11

Reinhard watches as streams of light rain down upon him and Natsumi from the direction of the watchtower, and his hands extend outwards to shield Natsumi from all attacks, ignoring the ones that are aimed at his head and chest. The projectile stabs into his flesh, but they can only push him back as little to no damage was done to him because of his Divine Blessings.

Still, the sheer volume poses a threat. It’s difficult, even for him, to keep track of each and every one of them, as he follows their trajectories and realizes that what he thought initially was highly concentrated mana blasts are actually tiny needles flying at them, aiming to kill.

He swats most of them away and is about to grab Natsumi when a hoard of Mabeasts descend upon the two of them, and Reinhard pushes Natsumi away to deal with the danger himself. The very second he thinks Natsumi’s out of harm’s way, all the deflected needles change their angle abruptly to immediately correct their course and rush towards Natsumi, while Reinhard can do nothing but watch as he once again, is too late to save the one he loves and cherishes most.

One single beam hits Natsumi, and just like that, her entire head is just gone, and countless more follow close behind. She reacts just in time and raises her hands to guard her head as it slowly regenerates, but the needles pierce her defenses like they weren't even there and punctures her already limp and falling body.

He can only watch in horror as Natsumi, riddled with holes, slowly disintegrates. And yet, she still manages to hold on for one more moment, and he sees her opening her mouth.

“I love you.” She says, and the wind doesn’t blow.

____________________________________________________________________________

Loop 18

Reid slashes at his chest and Reinhard blocks the blow. Once again, they’re locked in a clash of blades. He hasn’t fought anyone this strong before, and his strength coupled with his appearance confirms his suspicions.

First, his grandmother. Now? Quite possibly the first Sword Saint himself. He’s starting to see a pattern here, and he does not like it.

“Oi, I’m normally not the one to say nothin’ about anyone’s taste in women, but she ain’t it, boy.” Reid looks over to Natsumi who’s just watching the fight, and says, “She’s fer sure a looker in her heyday, but now? That form, tch! Disgraceful, there’s no use holdin’ on to someone who has moved on, you.”

“You may have a point, but the dead have no jurisdiction on what I should or should not do.” He replies, overpowers his opponent and pushes him away. “I will hold on to whatever’s left of her, and I will live my life by her until she is nothing but dust and the universe is cold and dead.”

“Gah! Ya sure are one greedy and inconsiderate bastard, ain’t cha? Yer talk’s not half bad, I’d admit, but are ya sure yer can really protect her in a situation like this?” Reid points his sword somewhere behind him, and he sees a large scorpion Mabeast rushing at Natsumi. He turns and readies an attack that will split it in two, and he gets interrupted by a punch aimed at his temple. He doesn’t have time for this-

He feels a stabbing pain in his torso, and he notices Reid’s sword lodged in between his ribs. Ah, he’s been careless.

“Hah! Yer sure are arrogant, you. I’m just a stick swinger, but ya sure you should be worrying about yer woman while in a fight with me?” He knows he shouldn’t turn his back on an enemy, but Natsumi can’t fight off that thing on her own. He runs at Natsumi, trying to push her out of the rampaging scorpion’s way, but he just can’t get rid of this… pest! “Yer think I’m letting you get away? Gah! Ya know how long I’ve been waiting for a decent fighter around here?”

He roars in anger and unleashes a blast that destroys half the tower. He knows it violates the rules set up by the Sage’s apprentice but saving Natsumi takes precedence, but as he turns around, he finds out that he’s far too late and watches in horror as Natsumi gets torn in half. He cradles her tattered body, tears rolling down his face, as he hears her last words.

“I love you.” She says, and the wind doesn’t blow.

____________________________________________________________________________

Loop 24

Natsumi dies by the hand of someone claiming to be the Archbishop of Gluttony, and Reinhard is present in her final moments.

“I love you.” She says, and the wind doesn’t blow.

____________________________________________________________________________

Loop 29

Natsumi dies, as she is attacked and pushed out of the watchtower by the strange girl when turning into some berserk form, and Reinhard is present in her final moments.

“I love you.” She says, and the wind doesn’t blow.

____________________________________________________________________________

Loop 35

Natsumi dies, as she is picked apart by large bird-like Mabeasts when he was preoccupied with breaking down the barrier, and Reinhard is present in her final moments.

“I love you.” She says, and the wind doesn’t blow.

____________________________________________________________________________

Loop 50

Once again, Natsumi finds herself on this balcony. She accepted her fate right at this very place, long ago. She barely remembers her looking at Reinhard’s crying face and noticing the beautiful night sky that time she died in this form, so she’s… pretty sure this is the spot.

She’s here again, now, and she’s not sure what to do. Seems like every loop is a dead end, and she’s just… going along with Reinhard’s ideas on what might bring her back. 

She hears Reinhard coming up the stairs, just like that time, and she asks him to once again put her out of her misery. Again, she hears his proposals and his plans to make the council give up the dragon’s blood, and other desperate outlandish ideas to return things back to how they used to be, but unlike the first loop, her heart wavers. Reinhard’s words are madness, and they’re probably never going to turn her back into a normal human with his suggested methods, but-

She doesn’t want to keep dying and looping back anymore. Doing the same thing and expecting different results, well, that’s just insanity, no? Even if nothing works and she stays in this pitiful state, at the very least she can experience something… new.

At the end, Natsumi gives in and decides to live a while longer. Reinhard looks overjoyed at the news, but it’s like something in her finally gives in and she dies a little more inside. She recalls that she was afraid of forgetting everyone she loves, afraid of losing herself, and that’s the reason she kept looping all those times. If she lets Reinhard puppet her until he finds a cure or until her undead body finally gives in, she might even forget her love for Emilia, her love for Beatrice, and her love for him.

Well, she supposes she better say that before she does forget, then. She envelops Reinhard in a tight hug and waits for him to wrap his arms around her as well.

“I love you.” Natsumi Schwartz says, and the brightest star in the sky slowly begins to fade. Its spark is dimming, but not yet extinguished. Not yet.

Chapter Text

“I thought you would protect Betty’s Natsumi,” Beatrice says with a tremor in her voice, as she sees her contractor on the Sword Saint’s back, in even worse shape than before. “I thought you out of all people could do it, I suppose. I believed in you. Natsumi believed in you!”

“Beatrice? Is that you?” She barely hears Natsumi mumble, and Beatrice is heartbroken at how lost she sounds, barely coherent. “Everything that’s happened to me is at least half my fault, so don’t be too hard on Reinhard, alright? Be a dear and don’t start a fight, I’d hate to see my two most treasured people arguing.”

“No, you don’t get to decide anymore! I listened to you last time we met, and look how you ended up, I suppose!” She flails around, anger slipping into her voice. “You promised all your tomorrows will be spent with me, in fact! You signed a contract that binds our soul together! You should be loving me, cherishing me, and showing me what happiness is, I suppose! Why do you always put him first?”

“Oh, Beako.” The Sword Saint puts Natsumi down, and she caresses Betty’s cheek tenderly. “I want nothing more than to do that. I belong with you guys and nowhere else, but-”

“Then do that, in fact! You should be staying with your family, but instead you’re, what, going to random places and trying to find a cure?” Her voice turns quieter, and it sounds more like a plea as time goes on. Really, she’s pathetic. She couldn’t save the one person she cherished before, and she can’t even persuade her contractor to stay here with her right now. “Isn’t Betty your daughter? Don’t you love me?”

“I do, but you have to understand-”

“Answer the question, mama.” She demands. Beako doesn't recall ever asking her contractor for anything with such an uncompromising tone before, but she needs to hear it from her. “Answer it please, in fact.”

“I love you.” Natsumi Schwartz says, and Beatrice can only look on as the one who brought light into her life slowly drifts further from her.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Are you sure you do not wish to meet others from your camp, Natsumi?” Reinhard asks, and she shakes her head with great difficulty. “Keep in mind this is quite possibly the last chance you can meet them without wasting too much time. It will take quite a while longer for us to come back here when trying to find ways to cure you around the world.”

“You’re making this harder for me on purpose, aren’t you?” She questions him, and he doesn’t say a word. “Seeing Beatrice alone got me all shaken up, if I see everyone else, I won’t have the will to leave. Staying here might be safer, but I won’t stray from your side. Long distance relationships are a big no for me, man.”

“I just don’t want you to have any regrets, but very well.” He acknowledges what she says, and picks her up once again. She’s a bit embarrassed since she’s a grown woman and still getting carried everywhere, but saving time is everything in a situation like this and Reinhard’s so fast he puts ground dragons to shame. “I wish to add that I do not doubt your willpower for even a moment, since I believe I have seen you overcome worse odds during our time together.”

“You sweet talker, you.” Natsumi laughs a bit, then immediately notices something weird. “Huh, I thought I told you we aren’t going to meet Emilia and the rest of my friends. Why are we heading in the exact direction of their mansion?”

Reinhard gives her a weird look, and says, “The mansion that… you and Otto burnt down? I remember it vividly since you bragged about it during your knighthood. Did they re-establish a camp nearby? If they did, we can avoid that, I suppose.”

“Oh yea, that happened. Don’t worry, I just forgot about that for a sec.” She can kinda recall something like that happening. Can’t remember why she and Otto did it, but it sounds like something they would do for fun, and just to ruin that bastard clown’s day.

Natsumi’s a bit worried of forgetting something she used to be that proud of, judging by the fact it was apparently all she could talk about during such a big day for her, but it’s probably not that bad. She really doesn’t care too much about Roswaal’s business, and she would willingly forget everything about him anyways so it’s not much of a loss.

____________________________________________________________________________

Natsumi wakes up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. Reinhard and her are camping at a long abandoned camp he found a bit earlier, and she decided to take a nap for a while, foolishly forgetting that it is only during her slumbers that her worst nightmares can haunt her.

She looks at her surroundings to calm herself, and to reassure herself that she’s back here, and not in that place with nothing but painful memories.

She faintly remembers a promise, made between her and someone, to not take her deaths lightly and to never take her own life. That dream, where she stabs herself with a knife after seeing some blue-haired maid in a coma…

That’s Rem, and she just-

Natsumi jolts awake with the realization that she almost forgot the only reason she kept pushing on before she met others that cherish her so dearly. Rem was the first one to believe in her, the first one to back her no matter what. How can a hero forget who she’s fighting for? How can a hero forget who she’s supposed to save?

She’s scared. If she can forget someone like Rem, even just for a moment, will she soon forget Emilia? Beatrice? Reinhard?

She has less time than she thought. She doesn’t know how, but this loop is getting worse and worse. Her chances of getting stuck in a situation like this is probably less than one out of a thousand, huh?

Well, Natsumi has always been one to beat the odds, no? She looks at her own decomposing body, letting its host down, and shakes her head with a self-deprecating smile.

The only hiccup, she supposes, is that she reckons she’s not going to win this one, this time.

____________________________________________________________________________

“H- hey, hey, hey man. Calm down, alright? I’m just working here for my family, so have some mercy and let me go, alright? I- I’ll do anything, man!”

The voice comes from beneath her from a girl currently brawling her eyes out. Natsumi rolls her over, pins her hand to her back, and takes away the crossbow the girl was holding. How unpleasant, she thinks, as she looks at the bolt sticking out of her face with a conveniently placed mirror nearby, and she breaks it and pulls the shaft out. The tip of it’s in her mouth, accompanied with the faint taste of copper, so she spits it out.

“Let's attack this massive underground syndicate, it will be fun, he says.” Natsumi rolls her eyes, and begins tying up her attacker with a rope. “Stay here while I deal with the remaining captains and lieutenants, it will be safe here, he says. Hey, you tell me, was it safe? Huh?”

Wha- me? You’re asking me?” The girl asks her with a confused voice. “Umm, probably not? Especially with everything happening today, you know, with the Sword Saint coming in here and killing everyone-”

“Oi, we didn’t kill no one, punk.” Natsumi shuts the girl up by shoving her head a bit roughly. “We could start with you, though, if you don’t tell me what the password to the safe is.” She pauses a bit, and then adds, “And don’t you dare say anything about you not knowing. We did our research, girlie. You’re the boss's daughter, no way someone like you doesn't have the password as a failsafe if the boss ever croaks.”

“You’re after the healing drugs?” The girl asks, incredulous. “Everything you did, for something like that?”

“Hey now, I’m the one asking questions here, alright?” She shakes the girl to give her a fright, and only stops when she’s getting a bit tired. God, this is quite taxing on her body, she really misses the days when she was a teenager and it felt like she had all the energy in the world. “Now tell me the code, or I promise I will make what you just experienced here a pleasant memory.”

“Alright, alright! I don’t have the code, but I do have a key for it. It’s in my pocket, I swear I’m not lying! Christ, I knew I should have stayed with ma today…” She trails off and starts sobbing, and Natsumi just grabs what she needs and leaves before things get even more awkward. The girl reminds Natsumi of herself too much for her own liking, and all that talk about parents…

Well, there’s no point reminiscing about people she can’t even fully remember, since it’s only going to break her heart.

“Alright, that’s better than nothing. Just got to get the code from someone that knows it.” She sticks the key in, turns, and jumps in surprise when the safe opens, just like that. Huh, normally it's a key and the code, not a key or the code, but maybe her fortune’s been so horrible she finally gets some good luck thrown her way.

She’s about to pry the safe door open, but Reinhard grabs her hand and does it himself. Oh, right, possible traps, forgot about that.

“Hold on, when did you get here? Thought it was just me and missy over there for a sec.” She slaps Reinhard’s back in a playful manner, and says, “Don’t scare me like that, alright? What’s with you and always appearing behind me like that nothing personal kid meme?”

“I’ve been here for a while, and I was by your side when you were subduing the girl.” Reinhard tells her, and takes a peek at the contents of the safe, “Your condition is quite worrying, but first things first, here.”

He opens it fully, and she looks… at the things in there. There’s a lot of small cylinder shapes inside stacked into piles and some dried leaves bound together. She takes a closer look and blinks a couple times to make sure her eyes aren't failing her. Nope, she’s seeing that right. This so-called miracle drug…

“This has to be a fucking joke.” She feels like crying, she really does. It’s cigarettes. Everything they did, for a stack of cigarettes. Those leaves look like tobacco leaves too, damn. She sees Reinhard handing her a couple, and she understands that he doesn’t know what these are. “Those are ciggies, man. They give you a mental boost for a while but they’re bad for your health. It’s basically some sort of drug the people from the slums use. We got played, Reinhard.”

He looks stunned, and she completely understands that reaction. Doing so much just to come up short? It’s a horrible feeling, and she definitely knows since she’s probably as mad as he is at… everything, really.

“Oh, what the fuck.” She grabs one cigarette out of Reinhard’s frozen palm. The man doesn’t even try to stop her, and she lights it by calling upon a spirit. “Things can’t get any worse for me anyways, so I might as well smoke a couple to take the edge off.”

They just sit there, waiting for her to finish as they take in the destruction. Such a large underground organization dismantled in a single day, just like that, yet they don't get one step closer to their shared goal. That’s just not fair, but whatever.

She’ll just have to fake it till she makes it, or until she becomes brain dead for good. Honestly, she’s not that picky with her choices and since she wants to get this over with, she'll take whatever life throws her way.

____________________________________________________________________________

Natsumi barely manages to stand up straight in the middle of the hallway. Actually, scratch that, she can’t even stand up straight normally, as she currently has one hand on the wall, grabbing onto the frame of a portrait.

She was told to rest a while ago, to take it easy for a while, but she can’t help it. She’s a gal who likes to move around, and she’s only staying right here because she just can’t take her eyes off what she is looking at right now.

It is a beautiful painting. Sharp strokes that show the wonderful skill of the artist and warm colors that almost make the painting seem as if it is multiple layers put together. Long red hair, dressed in royal knight colors. Her dark blue eyes seem intimidating at first glance, but they are actually quite gentle.

Something about her feels… familiar. She stares at the painting, and she tries to gather the small shattered shards of her memories, yet it slips through her fingers once again.

Natsumi furrows her brows. She can hear murmurs from another room and does her best to ignore that and focus, and her eyes drift along the painting’s edges, tracing the gold and silver trim like it might unlock something buried deep inside. Her heart beats a little faster, not quite in recognition, but from the unbearable pressure of being oh so close to it. So close to knowing, so close to reaching the truth, and yet still so far away.

A memory floats upwards, emerging in the surface within the murky pool she calls her mind, but it’s incomplete, just the feeling of someone's hand guiding hers. She doesn’t know who, but she still brings her hand to her cheek trying to hold on to that sensation, but it’s already fast fading.

The white whale killed this person, Natsumi knows that somehow. And her acceptance of… him after knowing about this warrior was one of the many reasons she and Reinhard fell in love. She ought to remember these things.

She also ought to stop getting her hopes up every single time she’s on the verge of remembering something important, so she supposes that’s on her. Really, her situation is quite funny, if it isn’t so tragic.

____________________________________________________________________________

“So this is why you’ve got all the fossils so riled up.” Felt looks at the sorry state of her knight, and she can’t help but tsk. “Just straight up demanding them to hand over the dragon’s blood, you’ve changed, haven’t you.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” Reinhard says, and she agrees. The way Reinhard looks at Natsumi with so much care, it kind of reminds her of Rom. Still, she shouldn’t compare the two of them even if both their love is unconditional. Rom’s love for her comes from familial bonds and it’s warm and sweet, while Reinhard’s love is a twisted and unsightly thing. “For her, I would do… anything.”

“I guess I should say congrats. It’s not easy pressuring them to give something this valuable away so easily. Still, you’ve completely ruined any chances of me becoming queen by pulling this stunt.” And ain’t that a shame? She was probably one of the favorites to win this election before everything went south. Crusch’s memories were erased, Anatasia never had that much firepower because of her lack of backing from the nobility, Emilia lost her knight to… whatever, and Priscilla was never in favor since she was sort of linked to foreign powers. Now she’s at the bottom of the pecking order, just wonderful, no?

“I suppose I can’t blame you. I do understand what desperate people resort to during their lowest.” She sighs, and directs her gaze at Natsumi, who is just sitting opposite to her on the same couch as Reinhard. She’s so still, it’s eerie. “Still, I’ll complain a bit, since you’ve really screwed me over, you know?”

“I apologise, but out of my respect to you, I will not lie and say I regret my actions.” He says, and takes a look at the room they’re staying in. “I am saddened that this place no longer welcomes me, but if that’s the price I need to pay for her salvation, then so be it.”

Felt can see in Reinhard’s eyes that he’s telling the truth, and she just decides to just let it go. There’s no point now, anyways. “Oh, just get out of my sight, you two. You’re ruining my day already. Go somewhere and don’t even tell me if the blood works or not. I don’t want to hear anything about you sacrificing my dream of making this godforsaken kingdom a better place just for this to not even work.”

As Reinhard shoots her one last grateful look before leaving through the door, she gestures for servants to escort the two of them out to an already prepared carriage and watches as they slowly drive off. When she can’t see them anymore, that’s when she finally collapses on the sofa with a heavy heart.

Felt cares about Reinhard. Really, she does, but he’s gotten himself in some really deep shit. As much as she hates to do so, she has to cut her losses and not associate with him after this time. It might be arrogant of her, but she’s born to save the world. She can’t falter now, even if this hurts so badly.

Felt ignores the tiny voice in her heart telling her to pursue after the two of them and aid Reinhard in his search for a cure. She’s got a lot on her plate, she can’t afford to chase after pipe dreams now, especially after the hit to her reputation.

She’s got work to do.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Natsumi.” She hears someone say, and turns her head.

A name, spoken with reverence, from the lips of the Sword Saint. She fully faces him, and the movement is jerky and artificial, and she has to remind herself to smile. Even muscle memory’s fading now, what a disaster.

“Do you… still love me?” Someone asks, and her head tilts sideways. Too far, too unnatural, like a puppet on strings.

“Love? I know that word.” She tells him, and he pulls her closer, clutching her body like she’s about to fall apart, but what he doesn’t know is that she’s too far gone already.

“No, you- you feel it. We loved each other, remember?” He says, desperate, yet still clinging onto something, and she really looks at him. He looks thinner, she thinks, and he kinda looks like one of those lost pups out on the streets, abandoned and scared.

“We did?” She murmurs, voice small and distant. “Why?”

The silence after her words are suffocating.

The carriage passes through quiet roads with only the two of them inside. The driver’s long left now, and the only reason they are still moving is because of the well-trained ground dragons. She is thankful for the privacy, since people usually just point at her and whisper to themselves when they’re near her anyways.

She sees someone take out the vial that is resting close to his heart. It is pulsing with warmth, as if it is hope itself trapped in that bottle. He puts a hard on the cort, and twists it open.

She makes no sound, and just stares ahead at the endless expanse of land through a window. She’s almost like a doll, lovingly made but slowly falling apart because of time.

Someone- no, Reinhard grasps her face, and begs, “Please, please.. come back to me,” She feels some sort of container pressed against her lips, and she opens her mouth on pure instinct. She swallows some sort of liquid and stumbles, taking a deep breath.

Shards of her memories come back together, and an image of her with a girl in a frilly dress situated inside a mansion comes to mind. She sees herself screaming at said girl, telling her to choose her, and gasps when she finally does.

She wakes up, still feeling the warmth of a hand against hers. Her name is Natsumi Schwartz, and she has a loving daughter called Beatrice. It’s not much, but…

It’s a start, at least.

____________________________________________________________________________

The dragon's blood buys her days, maybe weeks where glimmers of her old self return in scattered fragments. A smile, a memory, gentle words spoken without hesitation. For a while, she laughs again. The real kind, the ones that reach her eyes. She remembers Beatrice’s name, finishes Reinhard’s stories before he can, walks without trembling, hums songs she once adored, and grasps his hand like it means something. Reinhard holds onto each of them like one holds on to a dying flame during a snowstorm, hoping it will be his salvation, but to no avail.

Her memories start fading again. The names she once cherished slip again from her tongue. The warmth in her voice gives way to silence. Recovery is not salvation. The dragon’s blood does not hold the inevitable at bay, it only slows it down.

And healing soon too, becomes nothing but a memory.

The fragments fade.Her smile becomes uncertain again, her voice quiet, like she’s listening for something she can no longer hear. She forgets how to finish her sentences, then she forgets how to start them.

Reinhard stops breathing each time she hesitates, and he dreads the day when the “I love you” coming from her lips are nothing but hollow words, accompanied by a gust of wind.

For that signals the very moment this world finally loses its spark for good.

Chapter Text

If someone were to ask Reinhard who his ideal spouse would be, years ago, he would reply with an appropriate answer befitting the sword of Lugunica, such as a bride carefully prepared by the council, or anyone his family sees fit to give to him. But even then, he knows what he really wants in a partner is someone who will put him first.

Reinhard was always second to something, in all his life. To the people of Lugunica, second to the Divine Dragon; to the council, second to their own machinations; and to his friends like Julius and Felix, second to their own lieges and royal candidates they serve under. Even to Felt, he ranks second, when pitted against her ambitious goal of equality. Always second place, until she appeared.

Natsumi Schwartz, the name of the person who barged into his- no, everyone’s life. She gave the Emilia camp a chance to compete in the selection, protected the world by eliminating large parts of the witch cult and its affiliates, and gave him true companionship. 

And in that ravaged city, on that fateful day, she gave him true love.

He remembers a book he read long ago, when he was but a child. The Princess Bride , it was called, in which a man went on this noble journey, turning formidable enemies into comrades in his quest for true love. He wished for something as pure as that before this cruel world dashed all his dreams, leaving only the cold and uncaring embrace of reality behind.

Now, standing here with the sins of his past draped over him not unlike a funeral pall, he wonders if it was never meant to be. If stories like that were only written to distract people from the truth, that life is a war you're not meant to win, that the odds are always stacked against you, so to say, and-

That some people… never come back.

Still, despite fate constantly spitting in his face, a small, stubborn part of him refuses to let go. This raging fire within him simply refuses to die out.

Maybe if he keeps breathing, keeps fighting, keeps pushing on against fate… maybe he can pull off something worthy of being called a miracle.

After everything she has done for everyone, after everything she has done for him, it’s the least he can do. She has achieved the impossible so many times before, it’s only fair that he does it at least once, and that he does it for her.

He was utterly hopeless before meeting her and Felt, but in the end, salvation came for someone who did not deserve it, and he couldn’t be more grateful.

In the end, salvation came for Reinhard van Astrea, who did not deserve Natsumi Schwartz.

“I apologize for the lack of comfort, but we’re almost there.” He says to Natsumi, whom he’s carrying on his back, as she perks up and gives him a nod. So she can still hear him, that’s good. “I’ll deal with the repercussions of my actions alone, and you shall make haste and meet with Miss Beatrice. The Great Spirit has been waiting for you at the Astrea manor since yesterday, and I am sure she misses you greatly.”

“Beako, huh? Yea, she can’t handle it if I don’t hold her hand at least once per day, I can imagine she’s suffering from serious withdrawals.” She mouths her name with a strange expression plus a glint in her eye, and Reinhard thinks she’s simply projecting. “I do need to see her before that as well. It’s going to be a difficult path onwards for the two of you, so I’ll have to at least say farewell before the long trek.”

Natsumi struggles to get down, and lands without much grace at all. She stumbles with every step she takes, and resorts to holding his hand. But despite her condition, to him, she’s perfect no matter what.

Ah, what a powerful emotion she has given him. Reinhard has heard of stories, not fictional like the ones he just thought of, but tales of impossible feats accomplished and legends being forged by romance, and he understands. It gives him the will to do whatever he wishes to, makes him feel invincible, and most importantly, alive. And that's why he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get her back.

Natsumi deserves a better life than he can ever give her, but it’s only natural for him to try to repay this debt, no matter how unrealistic. He is an Astrea, after all, and all they can seem to do is let their lovers down, then try to salvage something from whatever’s left.

That reminds him. He’ll have to deal with father who’s been giving the servants trouble ever since he left. It’s not proper for someone hailing from such a prestigious house to be so… undignified, and he can’t risk him causing trouble when the Great Spirit is casting the spell.

He supports her all the way to their destination, and he senses Miss Beatrice right on top of them. She should meet Natsumi and him soon, right after they go in and then up the stairs-

That is unless, of course, the Great Spirit jumps out of… something, like a balcony. How strange, he doesn’t recall their manor having one at the entrance.

Reinhard looks up, and his suspicions are confirmed. He sees a broken window, the silhouette of a small girl and glass falling down above them, then smiles. Natsumi truly makes fools of them all.

Miss Beatrice uses some form of Yin magic to cast a barrier, and it seems like she has things under control. Reinhard notices that the protective magic only envelops Natsumi as some shards rain down on him, but he can’t find it in himself to fault anyone for prioritizing her over himself. He would have done exactly the same, after all.

Even though his sins and inadequacies are numerous, he has been told being hypocritical is not one of them.

“Natsumi, you’re back!” Beatrice pretty much crashes into her contractor, and almost knocks her over. She paws at her dress and grabs it like it's a lifeline, and Beatrice shakes as she buries her head into Natsumi’s dress. “I’ve- Your Beako has missed you. And, and, I’m glad you came back after everything.”

If the circumstances were a bit different, he would have found this scene in front of him heartwarming, even slightly humorous. This scene reminds him of his time serving with his fellow knights, where every successful expedition ends in warriors returning home to their families’ warm embrace, but all he wants to do right now is cry.

Reinhard supposes he should be grateful that there at least is a path to salvation, but it’s… unbelievably cruel, to both him and Miss Beatrice. Natsumi would probably disagree with them if she retained more of her memories or personality, so at least her current state of mind will not allow her to oppose their plans.

He does not think his resolve is strong enough to carry out what he had in mind, if Natsumi tells him not to do such a thing.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Preparations are complete, I suppose.” The Great Spirit tells him, and gestures at him to lay Natsumi’s body upon the bed of crystals they prepared, borne of yin magic. “We can start sealing whenever you’re ready. For her, it will only be seconds before the seal is broken, so we can take as much time as we wish to find a solution to her decaying problem. Betty had a lot of time to come to terms with this, but you…”

Reinhard refuses to think about what might happen next, and ignores the words spoken to him blatantly and instead asks, “Are you sure? Any mistake, and all we’ve done will be for naught. Have you checked for errors?”

“The mana stones are all in the correct places, and the casting circles have been looked over by Betty already. I have not stayed idle while you dragged Natsumi along with you, gallivanting around the world.” Miss Beatrice huffs, as if slightly annoyed by his lacking confidence.

In any other situation, he would put his trust in a centuries old spirit like her. But Natsumi’s life is on the line this time, so he hopes she understands his concern.

“I see you are still unconvinced. Very well.” His emotions must be showing on his face, as the spirit takes one look at him and concedes to his request. “I shall familiarize myself with the process and the important components once again, I suppose, if you’re this paranoid.”

“Thank you for indulging me, Great Spirit.” He moves away with Natsumi as Beatrice comes closer, and puts Natsumi down on a chair nearby. “Please, do go through every little detail.”

“I’m not indulging you, Sword Saint. Betty’s as anxious about this as you are, I… probably would have checked it once again after even if you weren’t here. Sealing is relatively safe and not prone to errors, but I can’t risk her.” Beatrice admits, and starts drawing on the mana nearby. He hasn’t seen her this animated for his whole life, but that is Natsumi’s charm. It forcibly breaks people out of their shells and makes them a better person, whether one likes it or not.

Really, if anyone told him the reclusive Great Spirit residing in the Mathers domain were to actively spend so much time saving a regular human a year before, he would have smiled at them gently and then directed them to a healer with all expenses paid for. But Natsumi’s not regular at all, is she?

“No, no she’s not. She’s far too troublesome to be regular, I suppose. If only she was more similar to some normal village girl like Petra, Betty wouldn’t have to-” Beatrice clicks her tongue, and Reinhard feels himself burn in shame. He said his thoughts out loud, how unbecoming of him, he really hopes his face is not as red as he feels it is.

“Betty must be exhausted to be entertaining these thoughts. It’s precisely because she’s Natsumi that I go to these lengths to save her, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Beatrice leverages herself against the floor to stand upright, and looks at Natsumi with eyes full of longing. “I can’t work like this, Betty is too distracted by… Just take her away for a few minutes, will you?”

“That is a fair request. We’ll be at the fireplace, if that’s satisfactory?” Beatrice nods, and Reinhard prepares to leave with Natsumi in tow. But she just stands there, transfixed. He beckons for her to follow, but she’s simply staring at-

Oh.

“Beako, hold my hand. I’m not leaving until you do so, you know.” Natsumi whines in a childish tone, and he can see the normally dignified Great Spirit crumble as she walks away from the runes to take Natsumi’s hand in hers. A dopey grin blooms on both their faces, and they look satisfied, content.

The universe really loves to mock him with glimpses of what could have been, if only Reinhard was faster or came a moment sooner. So much power at his fingertips, but he’s still too slow. 

He’s always been too slow when it comes to saving anything and anyone he cares about, and he hates himself a little bit more because of that.

“Don’t think I can’t see that horrible look on your face, just because I’m half blind.” Natsumi says, and Reinhard pulls at his gloves, looking at her. “I sense bad vibes coming from your side of the room, so bring it in, you. It’s Natsumi’s mandatory group hug time, and refusal to join in is punishable by death.”

Her hands do a grabbing motion, so he obliges her request and joins them, as Natsumi embraces the two of them awkwardly, but it’s heavenly nonetheless.

It feels wrong, truth be told. A moment so perfect and serene, and he’s not looking at it from afar but instead partaking in it. Is he- is he allowed to feel so much joy?

He doesn’t allow himself to think about that for too long. It shall take quite a long time for him and Miss Beatrice to find a cure for Natsumi’s condition, so he’ll allow himself to be spoiled, just this once.

When the deed is done, he looks at the suspended state of Natsumi Schwartz and knows that the memory of them together and content, will keep him going for years, perhaps even decades, as Reinhard and Beatrice get to work.

He only experienced a brief moment of happiness with Natsumi, and even Beatrice, and it left him wanting for more. The path forward is far from simple, but he shall arrive at their happy ending no matter how long it takes, as they have ample time to spare.

Miss Beatrice leaves him alone with Natsumi, encased in crystal.

“I love you.” Reinhard van Astrea says, and the whole world slows down.