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“So, what is this really all about?”
“Hmm?” Heizou stared ahead, distracted, as they waded through the warm shallow waters together, away from the festival that was still lit up and thriving, despite the late hour.
“I heard you leave as soon as the case was solved – you did not linger even slightly, to participate in the festivities. Yet you came back, to ask me to assist you with a case… and yet now we are simply walking together along the beach. It is nice,” Kazuha gave a small smile, “But I cannot help but feel like there are other reasons behind this trip, rather than simply solving cases together. What ulterior motives do you have?” He teased, nudging the detective into slightly deeper water.
“Ah, you got me.” Heizou forced a grin. “I wanted you all to myself. Is that such a crime?”
“You tell me, detective.” The ex-fugitive smirked. “But in all seriousness, if you wanted me to accompany you so badly, why didn’t you just ask up-front? You didn’t have to hide behind cases to crack and crimes to solve, you know.”
“It’s… not…” Kazuha raised his eyebrows as Heizou stopped in his tracks, his gaze turned to the sand beneath their feet. “… Forget it, you wouldn’t understand. Sorry for wasting your time, I’ll just-“
As Heizou turned to leave, Kazuha grabbed his hand. The detective whipped his head around again to stare at the ronin, who was internally panicking at what he just did. Why did he want Heizou to stay so much? He hardly understood the matter himself, his body reacted on its own.
“If I don’t understand…” He began, unsure of his words, “Then explain it to me. Please.”
“Why…” Heizou stared down at their linked hands and back into the eyes of the ronin, whose eyes shone like rubies under the clear night sky. “Why do you care so much?”
“Because you are a dear friend to me.” He clasped his left hand on top, “And I would like to know you more. And I would like to help too, if that is in any way possible.”
“’Friend’…” Heizou repeated the word to himself. It sounded alien on his tongue. Partners, he could manage. Colleagues, acquaintances, family… he used those terms a lot. He had a lot of people he knew who fitted into all of those categories.
But it had been a long time since he had called anyone a ‘friend’.
“Ahahaha, I get what you said there!” He let out a chuckle, punching Kazuha (relatively) lightly on his arm. “’Deer’ friend, right? Because of my surname? You’ve got some nerve, I’ll give you that, but I’ll let you off just this once-“
“Heizou…” The tone of his voice made the detective drop the act. An act that he had been putting on for who-knows-how-long. No one else ever saw through it, really. Well, to be accurate, no one else ever bothered to. They saw his false bravado, his cunning wit, his sense of humour, and that was all they seemed to care about. And Heizou was fine with it. Really.
It was better than being seen this way. Exposed and vulnerable. Damn that Kaedehara Kazuha, who he inexplicably felt himself drawn to over and over again. Damn him and his ability to tear down the walls that Heizou had spent years curating and perfecting.
And it only took one word…
“Did I say something wrong?” The gentle samurai asked, his thumbs rubbing circles over Heizou’s skin. “My apologies, I really didn’t mean to intrude. It just seemed to me that… you may need some help, and I am more than happy to aid you with whatever you need.”
“I’m… not sure if you can help with this, Kazuha.” His voice was quiet, his peridot-green eyes staring past Kazuha, into a time long ago. A time where he lost his best friend and gained his Vision, all in one fell swoop. “I’ve been on edge for a while and it’s because, well, I hate festivals.”
“Oh?” The ronin tilted his head in confusion. “Why is that?”
“I could lie and say that it’s because of all the noise and light pollution, not being able to deal with crowds, hating fireworks, overpriced food and tacky trinkets, not to mention how many pickpocket cases show up with each one, but I guess you’d be able to see through all of that.”
“I believe so, too.” Kazuha’s voice was quiet as he drew a step closer to the detective. “So then, what is the real reason?”
With a big intake of air, Heizou reached around with his free hand and pulled out a green stone.
“When I heard your story before, I remember wondering… is there something that links us Anemo users? Something that makes us different from Pyro or Hydro users, or do the gods simply… throw a dice in the air for each one of us and thus we are randomly assigned a Vision? If so, then how come we both lost our best friends?”
“Heizou…” Kazuha’s breath hitched as he pulled his friend in for a hug. “I am so very sorry, I had no idea that… not you too…”
“It’s fine,” The detective lied easily, patting him on his back while he attempted to hold back the pain that had seemed to plague him ever since. “But it does make me curious – if I were to venture to other nations and meet other Anemo Vision wielders out there… would I hear the same tragic story? Of friends dying while they stood by helplessly?”
“No… no, that can’t be true.” Kazuha muttered, more to himself than the man in his arms. “There has to be more to it than that – it's a coincidence, nothing more.”
“I stopped believing in coincidences a long time ago…” Heizou chuckled wryly.
A cold wind swept by them yet, in each other’s arms, they felt warm.
“How do you do it?” Heizou whispered.
“Hm?”
“How can you just… move on after all of that? I just don’t get it.”
“You mean with Tomo?” Kazuha asked, pulling back slightly. The detective nodded slightly, hating the way that his friend’s eyes seemed so distant, filled with memories and pain from long ago. He would take back that stupid question if he could.
“I believe that a large reason why is that I allowed myself to grieve. I accepted what had happened, and then I moved on. It… was not easy to do…” It was one of the most difficult things he had ever done, in all honesty, “But… it was what he would have wanted me to do. He would have wanted me to live in the moment and be happy.”
“But if you’re doing it all for him, aren’t you still bound by your past?” Kazuha’s eyes widened. He said nothing. Heizou cursed inwardly.
Maybe he had overstepped…
“Sorry, sorry…” He stepped back, waving his arms. “Ignore me, I’m not thinking straight right now. It’s been a while since I’ve talked about, well, any of this.”
“When was the last time, then?”
“… Maybe a few years back.” Back when people congratulated him on getting a Vision. Back when his ever-loving father told him to get over his friend’s death a few weeks after it happened and to ‘man up’.
“So you haven’t had the chance to grieve and let go. You just wear that façade and keep on pretending, day after day. Isn’t it exhausting?”
“Man alive, Kazuha…” To his horror, Heizou felt tears well up in his eyes. No, no, no, he was NOT going to cry over this. Not again. “You really don’t pull your punches, do you?”
“Sorry…” The poet breathed, wrapping his arms around the detective. “I am so, so sorry, Heizou. For everything you have been through.”
Heizou had been furiously trying to wipe away his tears, but at Kazuha’s touch he froze.
He froze, but in his friend’s warm embrace, he found himself melting. His forehead rested on Kazuha’s shoulder as he wrapped his arms around the samurai. His strength and any remnant of his façade dissipated. He was left, raw and vulnerable, in the arms of his only friend. The only person who had cut through him to his very essence. And instead of flinching back, he was held close and cherished.
The realisation was as comforting as it was terrifying.
“Please don’t leave me…” He whispered, his fear made known to the world outside of his head. “Please don’t die. Not you, too.”
“I promise.” Kazuha gave him a squeeze. “I will be with you for as long as you want, or need me.”
“I’ll always need you.” Heizou sniffled.
“Then I shall always stay.” Kazuha breathed, nuzzling into the crook of his friend’s neck.
At those words, a wave of warmth washed over and through him. He felt… safe. He hadn’t felt this way around anyone since those early childhood days where he basked in the warmth of his mother’s hugs. Back when he was comforted.
Back when he was loved.
“You know…” Kazuha said after a while (how long had they been hugging? Minutes? Hours?), “I have been giving your question some thought. And while what I said was accurate… at least at first, what you said – about me still being bound by my past – was accurate too.”
“’m sorry…” Heizou muttered, still holding him tightly. “Sometimes I just… speak without thinking. Should’ve been more sensitive…”
“No, no, it was what I needed to hear. Thank you.” Another squeeze. “It made me realise that I did it all for him at first… but then things changed over time. I never FORGOT Tomo but… after I met you, I stopped plaguing myself with the question of ‘what would he want me to do?’ before every choice and decision.
When I met you, I felt content just to… be. Just to be me once again, unshackled by my friend’s legacy. It may sound silly, but I believe that I feel safer and laugh louder when I am with you. And I… may look for reasons to be with you as much as I can.”
“Gods, Kazuha…” Heizou chuckled, lifting his head up again and wiping his tears away. How could he be sad after a revelation like THAT? “I don’t know how you can just… say stuff like that.
But me too.” To Kazuha, his grin was like a sun in the night sky. “I feel more like myself with you around too, and I definitely look for reasons to hang out with you.”
“I noticed. I recall you attempting to arrest me at least once.” Kazuha smirked.
“Hey, I was trying to be serious!”
“Sorry.”
“No you’re not.” Heizou mumbled.
“You’re right.”
And just like that, they both burst into laughter, clutching onto each other’s shoulders as they tried to stand upright.
“Thanks, Kazuha.” Heizou said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes as he panted for air once more. “I needed that.”
“Me too, my friend.” Kazuha smiled serenely as he rearranged the hair that framed Heizou’s face. Had his hair always been so soft? And his eyelashes so long?
Best not think about that right now.
“Sorry about… crying on you.”
“It is no problem at all. I am more than happy to help you, in any way I can.”
Heizou stared into the crimson eyes of the ex-fugitive that he was supposed to arrest a lifetime ago. The only criminal who Heizou cared more about finding than actually catching and arresting. The man whose pardon made him feel so utterly relieved. Who harboured no ill will towards him despite everything the Tenryou Commission had put him through.
His crime-solving partner, who seemed to know him better than he knew himself. The man who broke down his façade, who held him when he cried, and who stayed by his side through all of it. His friend, who right now was the reason why he was filled with more inner strength than he had ever thought possible. Not just for solving crimes and upholding justice. But to be himself once again.
Not the ‘Cyclone’ or a detective… Shikanoin Heizou.
A boy who loved solving puzzles, and would stay outside, running and playing and finding lost pets. A kid who would hide away in various spots around the village to get out of martial arts training (until his cousin, Kano Nana, tracked him down).
Shikanoin Heizou, a kid who excelled in class - once Kano Nana taught him to stop treating it like a chore, and instead like puzzles to solve - and who sometimes scared other kids away with his hyperfixations on crime and life as a detective.
Shikanoin Heizou, who once upon a time lost a friend. A friend who had lied to him and stole gifts for him, but a friend nonetheless. Even when Heizou told him to shut up as he lay bleeding out at a festival, he still smiled and said that he came to see him.
A green stone that shone in both daylight and night-time was all that Shikanoin Heizou had to remember his old friend by. It was still clenched in a shaking hand. A hand that was once covered in his friend’s blood as he tried to apply pressure to the fatal wound. He had thought of the stone as a memento – the only gift that Daichi had given him that wasn’t stolen – but it had caused him much grief even after all of this time. He still lived to this day, haunted by what had happened.
Had it been holding him back? Making him clutch onto his past mistakes instead of finding a path forward?
As long as his memories remained, did he really need it?
“So, I did the grieving thing…” He muttered while Kazuha gave a sad smile, “What’s the next part, again?”
“Letting go.” Kazuha whispered gently. “But… it’s not easy. Take your time, no need to rush yourself.”
“… With you around, I actually feel strong enough to give it a try.” He admitted. “And if I don’t do it now, I don’t think I ever will.”
“Then I shall be by your side, no matter what.” He took Heizou’s unoccupied hand in his own and gave it a squeeze.
“I know that there’ll be more to letting go than this…” Heizou held the stone in his hand. A token of friendship and grief that he had clung onto for far too long. “… But it’s a start, right?”
“Absolutely.”
Kazuha watched as his friend took a deep breath… and then flung the stone into the sea.
That throw seemed to take all of the strength out of him, because the next thing he knew, Heizou was kneeling on the wet sand as tears streamed down his face.
“It’s okay, it’s okay…” He whispered, kneeling down too and bringing his friend in for a hug. “I’m here. Just let it all out.”
Heizou nodded silently, holding him close as shuddering sobs escaped him.
---
“Heizou?”
“Hmm?” The detective stirred slightly in Kazuha’s arms.
“As much as I love this hug, I believe that there are more comfortable places to sleep.”
“I dun wanna mooove…”
“I understand – it has been a very tiring day for you, after all. So how about I carry you?”
“Yaaaayyy…” Kazuha chuckled at the half-hearted flail of his arms.
“And then perhaps we can get some fried food together? I don’t know about you, but I am quite hungry right now. How about you?”
“Famished.”
Kazuha gave a fond chuckle as Heizou held him closer. He stood up and watched as the detective, pride of the Tenryou Commission, fell asleep again. His long eyelashes fluttered slightly in his sleep, complimented by the moles that lay nestled under his eyes. His soft lips were upturned slightly as a peaceful expression returned to his face once again.
“Sleep well, my deer.” He whispered, stroking his maroon hair, “I am so very proud of you.”