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It's been a couple of weeks since the whole team met up and hangout outside of work, so when all of their schedules finally lined up, they decided to check out the new bar that none of them had the chance to visit yet. It was a low-key place, intimate, yet the right amount of busy. It had been a fun time so far, Eddie was nursing some sort of whiskey while talking to Hen about the kids. It was nearing midnight and it seemed like the night was reaching its natural end, when the bar's owner pulled out a karaoke machine.
Ravi practically jumped over Eddie so that he could be first to the device. The poor owner had barely hauled the thing out when Ravi was already at his side, asking about the options he had. After very careful consideration (approximately 6 seconds), Ravi had decided on 'Party in the USA', by Miley Cyrus, but promised to do some Kelly Clarkson after he was 'warmed up.'
Hen and Chim argued over which duet to sing, jumping from Rihanna's 'Umbrella' to 'Somebody That I Used To Know' by Gotye to 'A Whole New World' from Aladdin. They will definitely still be here a while.
Eddie thought about doing the karaoke, he had a pretty decent voice and he wasn't shy in front of the 118, but he thought he would give everyone else a chance. If he had another whiskey, maybe he would join in on Ravi's Kelly Clarkson renditions.
With how they were sitting, they were facing the front of the machine directly. It felt as if this place magically turned into a late night karaoke spot and they had the best seats in the building for it. There was a stage, projector and speakers, truly a whole production. This might be the new hangout spot with how excited everyone seems about this new development.
Eddie is so used to seeing these people in the most stressful situations you can imagine, it's nice to see everyone really let loose.
Everyone except Buck. He seems oddly quiet. Not obviously so, but in the way Eddie notices, in the way Eddie always notices. He reaches out, squeezes Buck's arm, trying to be reassuring. He knows Buck gets overwhelmed sometimes, so Eddie tries his best to reach out, using all of the signals they have developed over the past few years to quietly say, "I'm here."
Buck turns to look at Eddie, questioning something. Eddie stares at Buck, trying to understand what's going on in his head, but instead, Buck takes a gulp of whatever sugary cocktail he ordered, before quickly standing up. He made a point to brush past Eddie, easily leaning down to whisper in his ear, "This one's for you."
The phrase sent shivers down Eddie's spine, but Buck was already moving, clearly on a mission of sorts. Eddie wondered if he triggered something for Buck. One moment he was in his head, nervous and now he was walking away with a cocky smile and a glint in his eye.
Ravi and Chim were in the middle of convincing Bobby into doing 'Piano Man', when Buck saunters up to the machine. He gets the owner to set up his request and stands ready on the stage. Now Eddie knew that Buck would obviously thrive in an environment like this, but seeing him tipsy, confident, surrounded by dimmed lights and microphone in hand, it makes Eddie feel... something.
Before the music even starts, Buck sings, "Yeah, yeah, ooh yeah" and then Eddie hears it. Buck is singing 'Whatta Man' by Salt-N-Pepa. What the fuck? Eddie is not a betting man, but if he were and had to bet on what Buck would potentially sing, Eddie would of gone home broke.
He can barely process the scene before him, mainly because Buck isn't even looking at the karaoke machine's screen - he knows these words, like really knows them - he is looking directly at Eddie.
When the chorus begins, Buck turns more towards the audience - the rest of the 118 - who are all in awe of him.
As the first verse starts, "I wanna take a minute or two and give much respect due...", Hen and Chim are practically squealing in their seats, Ravi is looking at Buck as if he were a god and Bobby seems only slightly shocked. Eddie is just... staring. The something in his body grows, almost entranced by Buck and his perfect performance.
To be honest, Eddie is barely there during that first verse. He is just completely locked in on Buck. It feels so naturally, yet dangerous at the same time - a fear of stepping too close. Buck gets to the last lines and finally redirects his attention to Eddie again, doing that sneaky fucking laugh - exactly like the song -and then looking Eddie directly in his eyes to sing, "You're so crazy, I think I wanna have your baby."
Eddie blushes profusely, yet he can't help but be transported back to when he told Buck about the change in his will. The trust he has in him, there aren't words for it. Similar to the relationship Buck has to Eddie, you can't define it, he is simply Buck.
Eddie is pretty sure Salt-N-Pepa were referring to something else, but Eddie would let Buck become Chris' other dad, any day. They are already a bit of a family now that he thinks about it.
Huh.
By the time Eddie is done reminiscing, Buck is onto the second verse, "A body like Arnold with a Denzel face." I guess something about this song is making Eddie nostalgic, because he revisits another moment in his and Buck's past.
It was movie night, Chris had gone to bed a while earlier and they were ending the night with a beer. They were sitting in a comfortable silence, until...
"Michael B Jordan has an insane body, right?" Buck said, it coming out rushed and uncertain, like he had been thinking about it for a while. They had watched 'Black Panther' and nothing could of prepared Eddie for how buff that guy was.
"Oh, it's magnificent. You just know his workout routine must of been intense," Eddie said, staring at the beer bottle, replaying some of the scenes in his head.
"That's the thing, he looks that good in every movie. I think that's just how he is."
"Well in that case, get me in touch with whoever works out with him."
"I just want to get in touch with him. Just touch him," Buck says, before quickly stammering on, "Not in a weird way, but in a, 'Wow, I am so impressed, can you teach me everything about you?' way." He's face is slightly flushed and he's looking down. Buck's embarrassed and Eddie cannot for the life of him figure out why.
"Yeah, good luck with that." Was all he could think to say.
Eddie cringes at the memory, recognizing this as Buck's way of testing him, determining if Eddie was safe to come out to. Eddie doesn't know why the memory makes him nervous now, in the same way he doesn't know why he blushed when he thought about some of those movie scenes in bed later that night.
Buck's confidence is only growing now, still not looking at the lyrics. He is feeling the music in his soul and happily accepting the cheers from the rest of the squad.
"A lot of snot-nosed ex-flames couldn't be him," and Buck is back to looking at Eddie.
Buck and Eddie have both done a decent amount of dating since first meeting, but all of their partners have fallen through so far. Eddie can't quite place the reasons why. He tried to give all of his girlfriends a fair shot, but there was something dooming them from the start. They wouldn't fit into his family. Not in the way Buck did. He doesn't think anyone can fit into his life like Buck does.
Huh.
"Yes, my man says he loves me, never says he loves me not."
The lyrics start getting much more sensual and Buck, of course, takes it in his stride. He glides his hands across his body, opening one of his shirt buttons singlehandedly and Eddie starts feeling that something once more. It's a feeling Eddie only gets with Buck. A longing he can't explain. Almost like what Eddie imagines a crush would feel like. He doesn't think he's ever had a proper crush on a woman. Sure he likes them, he cares, but the closest he has ever gotten to embarrassing, trying so hard to impress them, wanting their attention -crush, is with Buck.
But that's just because...
Because...
Huh.
The realization hits Eddie almost as hard as that bullet in his shoulder did. Eddie is in love with Buck. Eddie has been in love with Buck.
Eddie looks up at once more and his eyes meet with Buck's.
Buck has a glisten of sweat across him, his curls just starting to stick to his forehead. Eddie has never seen something so beautiful.
"From seven to seven, he's got me open like 7-Eleven..."
Buck fucking winks. Hen and Chimney lose their goddamn minds.
Eddie spends the rest of the verse trying to deal with his crisis. And by that, he means finishing his drink. Yes, he has to deal with the fact that he is probably gay and only figuring that out in his thirties, but right now, Eddie is alive, in love and finally ready for it.
Buck is back into the chorus, the whole of the 118 singing along, even Bobby. Eddie is trying to remain calm, cool, collected, but instead, he is panicked, hot and frantic. He doesn't know how he sat with this feeling inside him for so long. Now that he knows what it is, he just wants to reach out to Buck, his fingertips buzzing with want.
The end of the song is approaching, Buck sings, "Every time I need him, he always got my back" and Eddie thinks about when he first arrived at the 118.
"You can have my back any day."
"Yeah, or you know, you could have mine."
"Deal."
Eddie thinks that all this time, it's been Buck since the very start.
As the song finishes up, Buck is making the occasionally eye contact with Eddie, seeming nervous again.
The 118 and the whole bar roar with cheers for Buck, but Eddie - not very smoothly - pulls Buck off stage and takes him out the closest entrance.
"What did you mean when you said that song was 'for me'?" Eddie lets his land linger on Buck's arm where he grabbed him. He looks Buck in his eyes, trying to make sure that this is something Buck wants, not just Eddie's projection.
Buck was all laughs, sweat and energy a moment ago, but he looks at Eddie scared.
"I didn't mean anything weird Eddie, I swear. I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable, let's just forget about this, okay? It was stupid."
"What if I want it to mean something?"
Buck's eyes glow with hope for a fraction of a second. It was so quick, if Eddie blinked he would have missed it. But Eddie didn't blink.
Their lips are crashing against each other before Eddie can fully process it. His hands are in Bucks hair and the kiss is messy. It's all passion and want, both of them sweating but the nights air is cool against their skin. Eddie feels his world connect for the first time ever. The something in his body, that's been there since meeting Buck, is finally content.
When they pull away for air, Buck looks into Eddie's eyes, desperate and says, "I'm not going to be some drunk mistake, Eddie. You mean too much to me. The life we have means too much to me. Promise me that you want this. Promise me that this is real."
"I want this, Buck. I want this to be real. I'm so sorry that I didn't see that sooner."
Buck leans back and laughs.
"Fucking finally, Diaz! I've been throwing hints at you for years now, I was about to give up on you, which is why I had to take such drastic measures." Buck indicates towards the bar.
"Oh I see, so you knew what you were doing up on that stage?"
"It seemed to work pretty well."
They kiss again, this time slower, a promise that they have all the time in the world together.
As they make their way back into the bar, Bobby has finally been convinced to sing 'Piano Man' and the whole squad is on the stage, swaying together. Eddie and Buck rejoin the group effortlessly - each a little redder in the face and letting "What a man, what a man" echo in their hearts.