Work Text:
There’s no loneliness quite like being the smartest woman in the room.
Sally was six and a half when she first came to that realization. As the new, military brat, mid-year transfer, not even the teacher was expecting her to answer a single question - much less every question asked and answered correctly .
No one asked her to play during recess.
–
As the years went by and she completed her accelerated degrees, she grew accustomed to being an island surrounded on all sides by boats that would never dock. She filled her time studying, working hard to become the first person in her family to graduate college. By the time she graduated early from her bachelors degree, she had her sights set on law school.
Sally knew she would find people who understood that self-driven ambition was the other side of the coin to a bone deep desire for connection. They had to understand. She just had to become a lawyer, had to become more than she was and they’d find her.
She thought she found it, with Warren. They’d sat next to each other in a lecture during their second year of law school. He asked her to compare notes and actually seemed interested in what she’d highlighted. Comparing notes quickly became study sessions which became partner work which turned into pizza nights with less note taking and more talking .
It was everything Sally ever wanted. They made a formidable team in lectures but outside of schoolwork, they connected in a way that felt like harmonizing two strong vibrations. She made plans to stay in L.A. after graduation, declined more job offers than she expected to ensure they’d work at the same firm. She opened up to him more than anyone, building a bigger dock just so he’d keep his boat there.
When Warren asked her to marry him, she’d said yes in an instant. At twenty-three, Sally thought she found her soulmate.
Instead she found her fiancé in bed with a freshly-nineteen year old intern.
“We can fix this, Sal!” He pleaded, chasing her while she frantically packed her clothes into a duffle bag. “Just give me a chance, you know I love you. Let’s get married, c’mon!”
The problem was Sally knew exactly how staying played out. She was smart, she knew he’d behave, be the sweetest man ever to her - until he grew complacent enough to try someone else again. He’d cheat on her, she’d cry and they’d need a divorce that would wreck her. she knew it. The problem was she wished she didn’t.
Sally wanted nothing more than to believe him, to turn around and fall into his arms. They say knowledge is power but they never say how isolating it is. To know what your heart wants and still choose to follow your brain. He’d been the boat docked on her island the longest; but even he still floated away from her.
The loneliness threatened to swallow her entirely and faced with no one who could ever understand, Sally fled.
–
She made a new life for herself in Arizona. Sure, she still felt like the rest of Radiator Spring’s residents didn’t understand half of what came out of her mouth, but that was fine ! Because while they didn’t follow her explanations of news articles or family law rationale, they listened and cared about her ideas.
No one but Doc ever debated her and even that was rare. The man spent most of his time alone in the garage behind his clinic. Sally often wished he would instead come talk to her - about anything - but she knew what it was like to be scared to let another person in. Safer to keep their distance.
Sally stopped trying to find someone who would get her and tried to find solace in herself. She designed this new life in Arizona to never need another person at her side. She was destined to be alone and that meant she had to be ok with her own company.
If a town like this could survive without the support of the freeway’s traffic, she could survive being solitary. As long as Radiator Springs existed in its own sleepy way, she would. She had to.
At night, staring up at the stars beyond the Cozy Cone’s neon vacancy light, she begged the universe to reconsider.
She never got a response.
—
Lightning McQueen blew into town a force to be reckoned with. He destroyed the quiet way of life she’d grown accustomed to, sending a tidal wave over her island’s shores.
Getting Doc to make him fix her town was as much an act of revenge for shaking away her complacency as it was a way to fix up her beloved Radiator Springs.
She knew a boy like him would never understand a girl like her. But somehow, the spark that burned so brightly in the racer made her want to keep him around. Even for just a week while he finished the road. Just a moment , a gift from the universe.
Lightning in a bottle.
—
He didn’t understand her. He was arrogant, selfish, vain and reckless. He moved through life like it owed him something that it forgot to give him.
In the daylight, she watched from the Cone’s lobby as he worked. He was loud with his complaints, brash with his comments and bitter with the fact he couldn’t get out of it. But as the sun set and he moved towards the jail for the night, he’d get quiet. The loud, obnoxious energy he carried throughout the day would slip and she would watch as he’d stare up at the pinks and purples streaked across the sky.
Looking as if he was asking the universe for his own moment of connection.
Sally knew two things in those quiet moments McQueen thought he was alone. First, he’s a liar. The attitude he had in the daytime became a clear mask, a wall to keep everyone else at a reasonable distance. And second, he was an island too. Instead of getting used to never having any boats reach his shores he’d built a fortress to never let any get close enough to try .
—
Everything changed when Doc beat him in a race. Sally didn’t believe Doc could pull it off but he had . She’d forgotten how smart the older man was, how he never truly got caught off guard.
Lightning’s moments alone started to be spent at the Butte. She caught Doc watching more often than not. A look in his eye that resembled a longing he’d forgotten how to feel.
Maybe they were all islands. But maybe they weren’t as far apart as she’d believed.
—
Lightning started helping her close the Cone every night after he was finished practicing that turn on the butte and paving the road for the day. He’d carry her backpack for her, sliding the lobby door shut behind them as he’d walk her to her room.
She loved these quiet moments. The way it almost felt like having someone listen to her words and understand even though she knew he didn’t always follow her train of thought. Lightning had no poker face. He’d never finished school, had no way of comprehending the same intricacies she did. But he still cared.
He listened the way people do in art museums. Not quite understanding the artist’s choices but trusting they would still feel the way they were supposed to. He’d watch her like she was his favorite painting he hadn’t quite figured out yet. Admiration and curiosity igniting Sally’s desire for connection and drawing her towards him.
Her didn’t understand her, not yet. But for the first time, someone was taking the time to learn how.
—
“Take a drive with me, Stickers” she heard her own voice say before her brain caught up with her mouth. The startled look on the blonde's face reflected her own shock. She hid a blush behind her hand as she tucked a stray braid behind her ear.
Sally hadn’t really expected him to agree.
They sat on the hood of her Porsche, looking out from the Wheel Well over the dessert. The sky was starting to lose its color as stars threatened to pop through. Slowly, his hand inched across the hood to hers. He lazily looped their pinkies.
When she didn’t pull away, he entwined her smaller tan fingers through his own. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against his shoulder.
“I could stay. This place…it’s magic” he said, voice softly rumbling through ear ear on him.
Sally wanted him to. She wanted to keep this spark and let him become a fixture in (her) their lives. but that was the problem again.
Wanting and knowing are different things. She knew he’d never be satisfied here. Maybe for a little he could convince himself he didn’t mind throwing away his entire career, everything he worked towards. And maybe for a while they could pretend it had all lead him to her, that she was the prize at the end of the race.
The unfortunate truth remained. There’s always another race.
Lightning needed someone to ride shotgun. Someone to chase goals with him rather than to be the goal. Sally had long forgotten what it felt like to chase anything.
“You can come back…” she whispered, a quiet compromise that if she couldn’t let him stay, she could still welcome his visits.
She’d caught her lightning in a bottle. Sue her for wanting to keep it for a little bit longer.
—
Lightning fixed the town for her.
He fixed the town and he ensured it’s
survival
, ensured her
own
survival. he hadn’t tried to change any of it, just polish what was already there. He hadn’t tried to fit her Radiator Springs into his goals but instead treated it like a project worthy of his time. Worth of his presence.
In a single act, he’d proven how much he understood her, proved that even though it took him a while, he learned what she wanted most. Proved that he was willing to learn from her. The stars above them seemed brighter.
When they drove back through town, he kissed her before exiting her Porsche. His chapped lips against hers felt so right , she nearly cried.
“Thanks, Sal” he whispered, forehead against hers.
She nodded, desperate for words that would express how good it felt to be understood for once.. For the first time in a long time, they were both so much less alone.
She climbed out of the car after him, taking his hand as he pulled her closer. He still looked at her with the same adoration and curiosity, firmly focused on her and nothing else.
Maybe that’s why they didn’t notice the helicopter.
—
When the dust settled, everyone went back to their homes except Sally. She stood, right where they’d taken him from her arms. She could still feel his stupid race jacket under her fingers, could still smell the gasoline and burning rubber scent that clung to him like bees to a flower.
Sally looked up at the sky. She knew it was for the best. Knew a boy like Lightning could never stay on her island long. But, god, she wished he would.
A sob wracked its way through her chest, she wrapped her arms around her waist, doubling over as if he’d physically ripped part of her away when he left.
—
She hadn’t joined the others to watch the race. The sting of being right was still too fresh. Too raw of a reminder that despite how much she wanted him to stay he couldn’t and never would. Instead, she went through the motions of opening and closing the Cone. Silent and alone, all over again.
The day after the race, she sat on the curb outside of the Cozy Cone, staring up at the sunset but not really seeing any of the colors.
“Mind if I sit here?” A familiar voice asked. Her eyes snapped over, coming face to face with the same sandy blond curls she’d missed. He shrugged off his jacket, placing it over her shoulders and sitting next to her on the curb.
“Stickers…what?” She gasped, instinctually shifting to face him more. He leaned back, stretching his legs out in front of them, a picture of relaxation despite the anxiety in his eyes.
Lightning shifted uncertainly, “after the race, I looked for you…but they said you stayed here,” his eyes darted towards the sky, “I couldn’t wait to come back…to see you again. You said I could visit” he defended.
“Visit?” Her voice was small, an echo of its normal power.
“But, Sal, I really wanna stay.” He put his hand over hers, meeting her eyes with a pleading look that had her heart pounding.
She lunged forwards, crashing their lips together. “Stay, stay and go visit them. Stay here, with me.” She said, breathless against his lips.
His chapped lips split into a smile, a laugh bubbling out of his chest as he pulled her closer to him.
“Good, cause I kinda already told everyone I moved my headquarters here. Looks like we’re neighbors, Sal.”
Neighbors . That sounded perfect to her. Islands harbor boats. But some islands are close enough they can see each other from their shores. Some islands don’t need to send boats to dock indefinitely on someone else’s shore. Some islands are neighbors . Close enough to connect, resilient enough to stay .