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It wasn’t every day that Shu gave Mika a gift. Usually they were reserved for special occasions, such as when Shu would fly back to Japan. They’d range from little trinkets Mika would keep on his desk, to pastries that Mika would hide away so Shu wouldn’t force him to toss them when they expired. Though after one too many incidents of Shu finding them after they went bad, Shu held back on the perishables.
Mika didn’t live in Japan anymore; instead he found himself living in the same apartment as Shu, a quaint little place in Paris. It wasn’t too far from the home Shu used to board at. While he still visited the atelier to work from time to time, it was nice to have their own privacy.
Though the peace and quiet could be a bit lonely sometimes. Shu had class most days, though he wasn’t entirely punctual with what time he came home. He often liked to take care of some shopping on the way back. It was one of Mika’s days off work, so he sat in the kitchen inking a sketch of his for a new design idea, almost too wrapped up in it to hear the key turn.
Mika looked up as he heard Shu say something under his breath. His eyes met a bouquet of blue and yellow flowers, a bright splash of color against Shu’s darker coat.
“Kagehira, quit gawking there and help me with the door. As you can see, I have my hands rather full,” said Shu, propping the door to their apartment open with his arm as he bent to grab the groceries he’d set down to get the key. Mika immediately jumped to action, pushing the thoughts out of his mind as he caught the door from Shu.
“Ngah… Sorry, Oshi-san, ya just look real handsome so I got distracted,” he said, grabbing a handful of bags from Shu’s hands.
Shu went right to work putting the groceries away, making sure everything went in its very particular spot in the cupboard.
“Hm, am I? It was windy, I could have sworn my hair would be a mess…”
“Looks fine to me.”
Mika put himself to work, rearranging the freezer to make sure everything fit like a 3 dimensional tetris game. It technically fit, though Shu was going to have to be careful next time he opened the door, or risk being hit by a box or two.
It didn’t take long to finish, Shu making a beeline for the flowers he put down before Mika could have a chance to get a better look at them. Shu set them on the counter next to the sink, pulling out a vase and filling it with water.
Snip.
“Nnah? What’s all this for?” asked Mika, looking at the bouquet with a piqued curiosity. He’d wanted to address it earlier and couldn’t hold back anymore, too excited to talk about anything else. Shu took another flower and clipped the stem diagonally, dropping it into the vase before rearranging some of the flowers to make them look better.
“Must I have a reason to buy you flowers? Honestly, I thought they looked nice, and the lady at the market is always complimenting my outfits when I pass so I stopped to talk. She says my mannerisms are reminiscent of her late husband…” said Shu, plucking more of the leaves off to make sure the arrangement didn’t look too busy. Mika picked one of the rejected leaves and held it between his fingers. “Anyhow, she said I looked as if I was in a hurry to get home to ‘someone special’. I suppose that is true. She tried to make a bouquet for me, tell me what was ‘popular with all the young ladies’ right now.”
Snip.
“Oh, is this it?” asked Mika, tilting his head slightly. “Looks nice.”
“Non, I picked this out myself,” said Shu, shaking his head as if the mere thought of getting a premade bouquet was simply out of the question. “It’s autumn now so there aren’t as many selections as I would have liked… The blue ones are delphinium.”
“Dolphin flowers,” said Mika, looking at the array of tiny blue flowers decorating the stem.
“That’s dauphin. These are delphinium,” said Shu with a sigh.
“Oh I know, I was just makin’ a joke…” Mika touched the soft petals of the yellow flowers, some sort of ranunculus, likely to pair with his other eye. Of course Shu had picked this bouquet out himself, why had he not seen it immediately. Mika blushed, arranging the flowers around as Shu stuck more of their stems in the vase. Sometimes he wished his eyes were both gold, or both blue. It would certainly stop people from staring at him. But Shu had seen a beauty there that Mika hadn’t, perhaps something that could only be seen by anyone else’s eyes. He trusted Shu, and with that came his judgment.
So if Shu said his eyes were beautiful, then they were.
“Looks real lovely,” said Mika, as Shu arranged the flowers himself in a way that looked better. “Thank ya kindly!”
“I’m glad you appreciate them. It certainly brightens up the room,” said Shu, glancing at Mika with a soft smile. Mika’s cheeks flushed red. ‘Me or the flowers’ he wanted to ask, but he didn’t know what he’d say if Shu confirmed it was the flowers.
“This one’s close to yer eye color,” said Mika, sifting through the delphiniums to find one with a purple tinge. “The Oshi-san flowers… This one’s ma favorite.”
“Is it? I hardly noticed,” said Shu, washing his hands.
“Mhm! It’s like a bouquet of us!”
The more Mika looked at it, the more he liked it. Shu had picked this out just for him, it was really special! He’d make sure to cherish it forever. Afterall, any gift from Shu deserved a place in his heart forever.
A week had passed, Mika growing rather accustomed to the sight of the flowers sitting on the kitchen table. They really did add a lovely splash of color to the room. Mika had a slight skip to his step as he approached the bedroom, hearing Shu taking things off the closet rack.
But when he opened the door, he was greeted by a suitcase on the bed, a small carry-on.
“Nnah?! Oshi-san, what’s goin’ on?” asked Mika. Shu didn’t look up from his suitcase, folding the button down shirts he laid out on their bed. One, two, three, four… Shu was going to be gone for at least three nights, Mika knew he always liked to have an extra shirt for variety when he’d choose his outfits.
“I’m flying to Montréal for an art exhibit. It’s on short notice, as one of my classmates canceled their plans, so a professor of mine asked if I’d like to take her place,” explained Shu. He put his dress shoes in two plastic bags to make sure they were thoroughly sealed off, then added them to the luggage pile.
“Oh… Uh, should I pack too?” asked Mika. He’d never been to Montréal before, but they spoke French there so he’d be able to get along with how much he knew now. It wasn’t perfect but Shu always said practice would help him improve, so he’d been making sure to speak more to people when he got the chance.
“Non, it’s a full flight… I’d known earlier I would have made sure to get you a ticket, but I’ll make sure to get pictures of whatever I’m allowed to for you, alright?” He finally took a break from his packing, pushing Mika’s bangs out of the way to surprise him with a soft, but much needed, kiss on the forehead.
“I’ll be away for three days… I’ll call you every morning and night, it will be just like when you were back in Japan,” said Shu, planting another kiss for good luck.
“Okay…” said Mika sadly. He tried not to pout when Shu was being so affectionate, but he couldn’t help it.
“I’ll bring you back some maple syrup candy.”
Mika tried to smile but he still felt a bit pouty. Was Shu not going to tell him about this until he went to the airport? It didn’t sit right with him.
“Have a safe flight,” said Mika, helping Shu get his bag out of the door. The whole apartment felt barren after the door closed, reminding him that he was the only one here.
Three days, he could survive for three days without Shu being here. They’d been long distance before, but Mika couldn’t help but miss him.
Like Shu said, they could text… It wasn’t the same, but it wasn’t the end of the world. Mika just wished he could have gone with him. Mika sat down on the bed, running his fingers over the sheets. Shu loved France, and Mika would do anything to be with him.
Three days passed slower than Mika thought they ever had before in his life. He spent a lot of the day working, checking his phone every few minutes to see if he had new messages from Shu even though his ringer was on. The exhibit looked interesting, and Shu seemed like he was having fun.
He should probably tidy up a bit so Shu came home to a clean apartment. But when he walked into the kitchen, something was amiss.
Oh no! Mika cradled the flowers in his hands, tiny shriveled petals of blue and yellow scattered across the table. No matter how hard he looked at it, the conclusion was the same. This bouquet was dying.
Mika sighed, trying to see if there were any flowers he could salvage and press into a bookmark, but the more he looked and picked around the more petals seemed to fall, leaving the flowers misshapen and lopsided.
They weren’t going to last forever, Mika knew this, he’d have to throw them out soon. Or at least, Shu would probably toss them when he got home.
No… That wouldn’t do. There had to be some way to preserve their beauty. Mika took out his phone to take a picture, but all the imperfections of the flowers were still highlighted. He’d waited far too long.
If only he’d thought of this sooner, then he could have saved it.
But he hadn’t done anything, and they’d died.
Mika felt a pit at the bottom of his stomach. Shu was coming back in just a few hours, he needed to be excited for his return. Why did it feel so stressful? Was it because Shu had taken off on such short notice? Or because he’d obviously think Mika took such bad care of the flowers that they died. Of course they wouldn’t last forever, but it was still depressing to see them go. Everything would have to go at some point. Even him, he supposed. But now was not the time to focus on morbidity, he could save this… He had to…
Mika grabbed a hot glue gun from the craft box and plugged it into the wall, sorting the petals into different piles as it heated up. He took them one by one, painstakingly placing a little dollop on each until they were fastened back on the stem.
“Ngah!” Mika exclaimed as he touched the tip of his fingers to the hot metal. He winced as he touched it with his other fingers. Ah, this was definitely going to blister… He paid it no mind, there were more pressing matters to attend to. He glued the rest of the petals back on, trying his best not to mess them up if he accidentally burned himself again. It looked a little wonky, but it was better than nothing.
Unfortunately, Shu’s eyesight was a lot sharper than his own. Mika noticed confusion written all over Shu’s face from the moment he opened the door.
“Welcome back!” exclaimed Mika, immediately wrapping his arms around Shu. He relaxed his grip as he felt Shu stiffen up, he was probably tired from his flight so he shouldn’t jostle him around too much. “Nnah it felt like y’were never gonna come home…”
“I called you before my flight left,” said Shu with a sigh, as Mika finally let him out of the hug.
“That was eight hours ago…” Mika’s eyes lit up when Shu handed him a few candies from his pockets.
“As promised, I brought you back some maple candies, they’re a bit too sweet for my liking,” said Shu. Mika unwrapped one of the candies and put it in his mouth.
Oh! It was delicious.
“Yummy… Thanks Oshi-san! Mwah~”
“Kagehira, you’re going to get me sticky… Alright fine,” said Shu, giving him a quick peck back. He rolled his shoulders back to stretch, no doubt from being cooped up on an airplane for so long, and walked over to the table. He frowned.
“Oh… These didn’t last very long at all, the lady at the shop said they should have been good for two and a half weeks…” said Shu, lifting the stems out of the water.
“Wait, Oshi-san, don’t throw them out, please,” said Mika, grabbing Shu by the hand. “They’re not fully dead yet-“
“Kagehira, they’re shedding everywhere.”
His words felt cold as leaves and the petals Mika had glued back on came undone. Shu shook his head.
“Grab me the broom while you’re at it, they’re making a mess.”
Mika hung his head as he walked over to the pantry to grab a broom for Shu, looking up at him. His eyes betrayed a frustration Mika had seen far too many times. He avoided eye contact, deciding to sweep up the petals himself so Shu wouldn’t complain about that.
“Kagehira… I’ll buy you more flowers if you’re this upset about it. It’s not something to cry over,” said Shu, resting his hand on Mika’s back. Mika bent down to pick up the petals with the dust pan.
“It’s fine.” Maybe if he said it enough times, he’d believe it himself. Shu reached to grab Mika’s hand, then paused.
“Kagehira, your fingers…” Shu held them up to look at them and gasped. “You need to be more careful. Here.” He walked Mika over to the sink, turning on the cold water and putting his hand underneath. Shu then rummaged through the cabinet, looking for something to alleviate the blistering. He shook his head and closed the cabinet.
“I’m going to run to the store, I must have forgotten to replace the ointment when we ran out,” said Shu, going to put his coat back on. Mika’s eyes widened.
“Eh? But ya just got back… Aren’t ya tired-”
“I can’t have your fingers blistering. Besides, I’m already dressed to go out, I won’t be long.”
Mika bit his lip. Shu was leaving again? He must really not want to be here with him. He watched the door close then turned off the water. His fingers didn’t even hurt that badly, he should have been more persistent with Shu. He looked at the absence of flowers in the vase and grabbed it, emptying the water into the sink. He washed it, dried it, then put it away. Shu was so not getting him flowers again after this outburst. It’s why he stopped getting him food unless it was candies that couldn’t expire. He pushed the chairs in at the table, then walked to the bedroom, curling up on his side of the bed with his back to the wall.
He was somewhat startled by the sound of the door opening again, Shu had been correct that it was a quick trip. But he still lay there, unwilling to move.
“Kagehira?… Mika.” Shu opened the door after he knocked the second time. Mika didn’t budge. Shu came over and sat down on the bed next to him.
“Let me see your fingers.”
Mika begrudgingly held them over to Shu, avoiding eye contact. He felt Shu apply some medicine to them, and afterwards wrapped them in bandaids to keep them protected. It’d been a while since he had maintenance, but he felt bad it was in response to his own clumsiness.
“Are you alright?”
“I guess,” replied Mika. Shu paused for a moment, before beginning to speak again.
“You can be very sensitive sometimes, getting attached to gifts even though they’re perishable… I should have been more thoughtful about it,” said Shu, rubbing his hand on Mika’s shoulder. “You care a lot about things, accepting them with your whole heart. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
“It’s okay… It’s not a normal reaction ta get upset about someone buyin’ me flowers,” grumbled Mika softly. Shu had been trying to do something nice, and Mika spun it around and turned it into a source of stress.
“Well, I wouldn’t write off flowers completely… I may have gotten you something.”
Mika sat up slowly.
“Aw, Oshi-san… Ya didn’t hafta, I was just bein’ over dramatic-“
Shu tilted his head slightly.
“Well. I’m giving you something anyway. It’s on the table in the kitchen.”
Shu really didn’t have to get him another gift, but he couldn’t help but feel the butterflies in his stomach begin to flutter up. He’d been so worried it was easy to forget that Shu cared about him, more than he could ever comprehend. He didn’t like seeing Mika upset, and whatever he could do to fix it, he would.
Mika spotted it right away, an african violet in a plain pot. The leaves looked lively, and the purple flowers were blooming with more buds yet to open.
“I asked the lady at the flower shop to match it as close to my eye color as she could. She said there’s no guarantee they’ll stay that color forever, but they live for over fifty years. Some variety in shade could be nice-“
Mika hugged Shu.
“Oshi-san…~”
He felt Shu’s hand caress him on his back, patting him slightly.
“I purchased a plain ceramic pot, I thought perhaps we could paint it together as well… But now you won’t have to worry about it not lasting very long because they bloom rather frequently. There will always be something to look forward to, even when you don’t see it yet.”
Mika grinned.
“Of course, I gotta be real good about watering it…”
“Oh that won’t be too hard. I even purchased some special plant food to add to the water so it stays nice and healthy,” said Shu.
Mika grinned, looking up at Shu with his mismatched eyes. Shu returned the smile.
“Kagehira… I’m glad you’re here with me. You know I’m hesitant to admit these things, but before you moved here, Paris was a bit lonely. I had other friends, but your presence feels as if the missing piece of a puzzle has returned itself, completing a beautiful work of art. Should you find yourself worried or unsure of your importance, let me know and I will make sure everything is clear,” said Shu, resting his hand on Mika’s shoulder. “The exhibit was quite stunning, I took it upon myself to sign you up to present at next year's event with me. We have a whole year to prepare a piece, so let’s show them true art!”
“Oshi-san!” Mika gasped. “Yer too kind ta me… Is that really alright? Ya didn’t hafta sign me up-”
“I wanted to. There’s no one else I would rather go with. Besides, traveling is stressful enough on my own, I’d like to have you with me. For as long as you’d like to be,” Shu said warmly. And for a moment, Mika truly believed that Shu wanted to be with him forever too, he just wanted to leave that up to Mika so it wasn’t an order or request.
“Do you promise?” asked Mika.
“I promise.”
The African violet was the first of many purple flowering plants; over the next few months, the apartment began to fill up with more pots, so long as there was space by the windows for them to sun. Even the balcony had its own little collection. It grew and grew, a proper garden that Mika lovingly tended to, filled with unique pots Shu had either haggled for in the market or the two of them had painted themselves.
“You know, we could get some variety here,” said Shu, watering Mika’s balcony lavender plant.
“Oh I was actually thinkin’ of addin’ some pink,” said Mika. “Like yer hair.”
“… Or we could get some that are reminiscent of you as well. I’d like to admire the flowers too, you know.”
Mika felt his heart skip a beat as Shu’s words registered in his mind, their gazes meeting. Even now, sometimes he couldn’t believe just how much Shu cared about him. Of course he did, he wouldn’t have invited him to live halfway across the world with him if he didn’t… But it was reassuring to know that he was sentimental in a similar way.
“I’ll pick some out just for you then,” said Mika, nodding his head. As much as it started as his garden, he’d like for it to be theirs. This was their home, afterall.
“Superbe, I can’t wait to see what you’ll select. Let’s adorn our home with beauty.”