Chapter Text
Yeosang had recently submitted a thesis that took him nearly a month to complete. If accepted, he would be on his way to becoming a biology professor in one of the most prestigious universities in the country. Wooyoung took any chance he could get to praise him for simply attending their courses but every time, Yeosang would simply roll his eyes and smile the way he usually did when he was embarrassed, "It's just a job." He would say.
"Not just any job! You'd be working for about 5% of the population's students. That's incredible Yeosang!" Wooyoung shouted in excitement after his best friend cracked under his interrogation. Initially, Yeosang wasn't going to tell him and that simply wouldn't do.
Yeosang scoffed and began throwing away the cartons from their take out. "I think you're overreacting, which is exactly why I didn't want to tell you."
Wooyoung joined him, "I’m not and you know it." He said grabbing a garbage bag, extending it as Yeosang glanced at him before throwing the carton in. "You're really smart, Yeosang but sometimes you're absolutely oblivious."
Yeosang didn't say anything but continued placing the cartons in the bag. "It's a surprise we've been roommates for this long." He said.
Even though Wooyoung knew Yeosang didn't mean it with ill intent but something felt like those words held another meaning. They pierced through him in a way he didn't expect and simply scoffed, "What do you mean?"
"I mean…" Yeosang paused, looking at the table in front of him as if it would disappear. "I mean… that a science major and a culinary major living together is such an odd mix." He finally said, turning to him with a smile. Something told him that whatever it was Yeosang was going to say, it wasn't exactly that.
Wooyoung decided to go along with it and shrugged. "You guys are idiots who don't know when you need a break. Someone has to be there to tell you when to eat." He said a little aggressively which in turn made Yeosang laugh.
"You're right. I guess it's not an odd mix."
After retiring to his room for the night, Wooyoung kept thinking about what Yeosang had said. As if Yeosang himself couldn't believe that they were still together for so long. They had been roommates for 6 years now but had known each other prior in high school for about 3 years. Wooyoung was the first one to bring it up then. Since they were graduating, they could become roommates in college but the problem was their major.
Yeosang was always the studious and attentive type in class whereas Wooyoung was a bit lacking. He still excelled in his classes but if it were up to him, he preferred hanging out with his friends over sitting in class. Despite this, he gained a lot of positive feedback from their teachers along with the fact that he loved talking a lot in class. It wasn't surprising when he decided he wanted to go to school for culinary arts.
"Are you sure?" Yeosang asked him one weekend during a sleepover.
Wooyoung extended the blankets out for Yeosang. "Yeah. My mom's always told me how good I am at it and it's something I really want to do. Besides, imagine all the money you'd save on food?" Wonder filled his eyes as he thought about the possibilities of what he could make. "I can make you tteokbokki, kimchi jjigae, pork belly, and seaweed soup for your birthday! The possibilities are endless once you know!"
Yeosang couldn't help but laugh at his excitement, "But I can't imagine it'll be cheap either. The equipment for it, the ingredients and the classes itself."
Wooyoung pouted, "You really can't dream without thinking of the small things."
Yeosang rolled his eyes, "Just trying to be realistic." He said while lying down. He stretched before turning to his side. "I can dream too…" he mumbled.
Wooyoung crouched down. "What'd you say?"
"Nothing. C'mon go to bed."
"No, you said something didn't you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Yeosang pulled the covers to himself but Wooyoung was faster and began poking him.
"Repeat yourself Kang Yeosang."
Yeosang began to laugh while holding his sides and eventually a tickle war broke out between the two. Until they were left gasping for air did they both stop. "Let's become roommates once we get in." Wooyoung said breathlessly, still chuckling.
Yeosang sat up in surprise. "Roommates?"
"Yeah. That way we can help each other. Besides, you need me." Wooyoung grinned.
Yeosang thought about it a lot longer than Wooyoung had expected. "Hey," He said while sitting up. "I was just joking. We don't have to. Besides it'll probably be really hard since we're both studying different things and it'll be stress-"
"Okay." Yeosang finally said, interrupting him.
"What?"
"I said okay. Yeah, let's be roommates." Yeosang finally turned to look at him.
Wooyoung smiled wide, giving him the best bear hug he possibly could. "That's awesome! It's going to be so much fun!" He said pulling away. Yeosang stared at him wide eyed making Wooyoung laugh, "I'm gonna make you so fat." Not expecting to hear that Yeosang laughed really loud and Wooyoung couldn't help but laugh along.
Thinking back on it now, after seeing how Yeosang had reacted then, Wooyoung could see the hesitation. Maybe Yeosang didn't want to become roommates with him and he forced him along. But why hadn't he said anything after so long? Wooyoung sighed, turning to his side while hugging his pillow. But then again, Yeosang had hid from him his thesis, this job offer and now maybe even this. He felt stupid to think that Yeosang was just as happy as he was when he couldn't even talk to him about the simplest of things. He couldn't even voice his actual feelings to him. Yeosang was hiding something else from him. Wooyoung could see it after tonight.
His eyes trailed to a photo sitting on his desk. It was a photo he took with his family but Yeosang was there as well with his mom and dad. It was their graduation photo from high school. They seemed so young and innocent.
Wooyoung couldn’t sleep that night.
He looked at the clock in their living room and then at the calendar. According to their conversation last night, today would be the day that Yeosang would find out if his application had been accepted. Wooyoung felt that butterfly feeling down in the pit of his stomach. He really hoped that it turned out well.
Usually, when he couldn't sleep he would get restless so he decided to make breakfast. Yeosang wouldn't wake up for another hour or two so he got to work.
He still believed he had a lot of work left when it came to getting his certification and license but every single time he thought about it, Yeosang would mention that his cooking was perfect as it was. That he should open up a restaurant. It boosted his ego only a little bit when he would tell him that. He was too harsh on himself was what Yeosang would say.
Roughly after two hours had passed since he started making breakfast. Yeosang walked out into the living room. Hair damp and face flushed. "You worked out again?" He asked, flipping the egg in the pan.
"Yeah." Yeosang looked at the array of side dishes on the table followed by the food that was being cooked. "You couldn't sleep?" He glanced at Wooyoung before running his fingers through his damp hair.
"I slept." Wooyoung simply said turning off the stove. "You said the other day that you were tired of omelets so I made you a traditional breakfast today." He said as he moved about the kitchen to get plates.
Since Yeosang began working out almost a year ago now, he had been watching his food intake and making sure to cut back on sweets. He wasn't sure why since he was already skinny to begin with but the change was pretty drastic after the first few months. Lately he just kept an eye on his weight to make sure it didn't fluctuate. It did shock him though how fast Yeosang began to bulk up. He had the right discipline in check for himself and he thought that was really admirable given his already crazy schedule.
It suddenly dawned on him that maybe one of the reasons why Yeosang might have felt uncomfortable living together with him was his passion for food. He would always cook food that was way too tempting and high in calories. Wooyoung tried to push that aside for now and set the table for him.
"I have a class to go to so I don't think I'll have time to eat."
Wooyoung took the plate back, "Oh really? That's a shame. I should've woken you up sooner. You need to eat something."
"So you didn't sleep."
"I woke up early."
"You never wake up early."
Wooyoung chuckled, placing his hands on the kitchen counter, "I've cooked breakfast for you before." Wooyoung looked at the food. "I'll just put this away for later. No worries." There was a weird tension that was starting to bubble up between them.
"I'll go get ready then." Yeosang said. Despite how deep his voice was, it came out soft. Wooyoung waited to hear the door close before sighing. He hated this. For once, he had no idea how to approach this. They had been friends for so long but not once had they had something like this happen before.
Wooyoung sat at their dining table when Yeosang came back out to the living room. He munched away at the food he made while looking at his phone. "I'm leaving." Yeosang announced.
"Oh, okay. Have a good day." Wooyoung looked up at Yeosang. An expression he couldn't really discern crossed Yeosang's face before he smiled. Yeosang nodded, waved him goodbye and left the apartment. Wooyoung tried not to let it get to him.
Regardless of whatever was happening, he knew they were still friends and even friends went through hardships together. The thought of Yeosang suddenly wanting to end their friendship only broke his heart so he kept a positive mindset. He had a lot of friends but no one quite like Yeosang. The thought of losing him was too much to handle.
After breakfast he began to make arrangements. He didn't have anything planned for today but he knew he wanted to do something special for Yeosang. It was a big day after all and fight or no fight, it wasn't going to stop him from making something for him. Since Yeosang was watching his weight there were things he had to exclude which was a shame but there were alternatives. Opting to buy a small cake in the hopes of Yeosang eating at least a piece, he picked up some soju to celebrate or forget, whichever the two, along with some groceries for dinner.
It had been a while since he cooked a full scale dinner for someone. The last time Wooyoung had cooked for someone was for his mom. She was more than impressed by what he had made for her, boosting his confidence tenfold but this time around he was slightly nervous to say the least. Even if it was for his best friend, he couldn't help it.
He made something simple for him. A clean cut lean dinner with brown rice, steamed vegetables and chicken breast; a very healthy dinner but it was Yeosang's go to. But just in case he wanted comfort food, Wooyoung had bought chicken and made fried chicken coated with the special sauce that he made from scratch. Yeosang had mentioned that he had wanted to come home to open the letter last night so it was the least he could do.
He wasn't sure how long he had been in the kitchen but he heard the click of the door once Yeosang came in. With his hands covered with the sticky sauce, he rushed to wash up just in time before Yeosang walked in.
"Welcome back." Wooyoung said with a smile. Yeosang smiled back, removing his bag. "How did it go?"
Yeosang let out a sigh, "The professor is nice. I met the head of the biology department. Apparently he contributed works to some scientists in Germany for the exploration of molecular biology. It's really fascinating and meeting him was an honor but it just made me more nervous."
Wooyoung had no idea what he said about scientists or whatever but he could tell that he was more stressed than usual. He realized that it was a good idea that he had cooked fried chicken because if for some ungodly reason Yeosang didn't get accepted he could enjoy his favorite comfort food. He turned the stove off and turned to face him, "You'll be alright. You're good at what you do."
"Thanks. I still have to study a bit more."
Wooyoung frowned, "Well, I made you dinner if you want. I even made you some fried chicken if you're looking to de-stress." He smiled widely.
Yeosang softly smiled, "Thanks Woo." Whatever tension that had built up earlier this morning was gone and nothing but the calm atmosphere he was used to drifted back to him. Just like he was used to.
Wooyoung chuckled, "Of course. I mean I can't get you fat anymore with the way you work out but I can at least lift your spirits up right?" He said, turning back to grab plates. It felt a bit like deja vu from this morning and he thought to himself, had he really been in the kitchen all day?
Wooyoung froze the minute he felt arms wrap around him. It was a strange feeling. One he's never felt before. Having someone like Yeosang who hated any form of skin ship or even something as simple as a hug to initiate something like this. It was definitely a first to have Yeosang hug him. Usually when he would hug Yeosang he would have to deal with him complaining. Most of the time, Yeosang would move away. Never in his life did he think Yeosang would hug him out of his own volition.
"What would I do without you?" Wooyoung heard him whisper.
Wooyoung looked at the arms around his waist. "Well, for one, you'd probably starve to death. Two, you'd run out of clothes with the way you forget to do laundry sometimes and three, you'd probably be living in a quieter apartment without me constantly yelling at the TV."
Yeosang laughed against his back. "You are really loud."
Wooyoung smiled. It was a warm feeling that ran through him. Yeosang let go and grabbed the plates from him, placing them down on the table. "Did you really make chicken breast for me?"
"I did. It's up to you what you want to eat. I don't think one day will ruin your diet but whichever." He said absentmindedly as he fixed the table, organizing the side dishes he had made.
Yeosang walked over to the fridge, "Well either you wanted to get me drunk or you're secretly an alcoholic." He said, pulling out a bottle of water. "Jung Wooyoung, it's like I don't even know you anymore."
Wooyoung scoffed, placing the food on the table, "If we don't drink it tonight then I'll ask San to come over tomorrow. He's not working so we can hang out and relax a bit."
"How is San?" They had gone to college with San a few years ago but because of his parents, he had moved back to Namhae. He was back in town for work if him nagging at him to come visit was any indication. Him and San had been close up inseparable when they attended college together. Some would say they were quite the force to be reckoned with when put together.
Wooyoung smiled, "He's good. He's happy to be back and wants to see us. I know you have an appointment tomorrow so you probably won't be able to."
Yeosang leaned back after drinking water, "Probably not." He watched as Wooyoung set everything up. "You didn't have to make all this. It's just another night."
"Are you kidding?! My best friend is one of the smartest people in the nation and he's about to become a biology professor at a prestigious university! This is the least I can do."
"I'm starting to think you're more excited than me."
Wooyoung patted Yeosang on his thigh, "C'mon. None of that today. Positive vibes only."
Yeosang smiled and sat down. Wooyoung immediately saw his eyes light up from the food in front of him. It was like any other night except this time Yeosang was the most relaxed Wooyoung's seen him since starting at the University. And like always, he enjoyed watching Yeosang eat to his heart's content.
After eating, Wooyoung stretched while patting his stomach. "I didn't expect to eat that much but it was good."
Yeosang nodded while chewing, "It was edible."
Wooyoung glared at him and Yeosang went into a fit of laughter. "This punk." He muttered while laughing. He noticed Yeosang glance at his bag which was beside him on the table. "Let's take a shot for good luck! Although you won't need it but to ease you a bit." He said while getting up and rummaging through the cabinets for the shot glasses. Yeosang wasn't the best at consuming alcohol but he still had his preferences and that meant that whenever they bought soju, it had to be the sweet kind. Wooyoung had bought the strawberry and lychee flavored ones. "What flavor?" He asked Yeosang once he opened the fridge.
Yeosang hummed in thought. "Strawberry."
"A tall, strong, handsome scientist with the brain to solve all the matter in this world and his alcohol of choice is … strawberry flavored." Wooyoung teased taking the bottle out.
"I can like whatever I want. I like pink sometimes."
Wooyoung laughed. "Pink actually looks really cute on you. It's upsetting."
"It looks cute on you too." Yeosang chuckled.
Wooyoung rolled his eyes while raising the shot glass to Yeosang. "Okay, I do want to say something before this." Yeosang smiled slightly embarrassed but nodded nonetheless. "Uh... I have a lot of faith in you. I believe you can do almost anything except for throwing out the trash on the days it's your turn." Yeosang looked down with biting back his laughter. "You're really smart Yeosang and I don't know how someone like me ended up here but thank you for being with me these past 9 years."
"Why does it sound like a break up?"
"Shut up. I'm not done yet." Wooyoung sighed and continued. "I wish you had more faith in yourself like I have faith in you. You're an incredible person Yeosang and I'm so proud of you. Cheers." They clinked their glasses and drank the shot in one go.
Yeosang licked his lips a bit, tasting the strawberry. "Thank you," he finally said. "For being with me too."
Wooyoung smiled. "Alright now let's see!!" He nearly shouted. Yeosang sighed, digging through his bag to find the letter. Pulling it out, he glanced at Wooyoung. His heart was racing even though it wasn't his but he could only hope good things to come from this. Yeosang opened the letter. After a few minutes, Wooyoung couldn't gauge his best friend's expression. He was beginning to think the worst. Whoever didn't accept him would have to deal with him at their office tomorrow morning. He'd go on and on, giving them 100 reasons why they had made a mistake.
Yeosang's face was free of expression when he passed the letter to Wooyoung.
He took it and began to read it out loud, "Dear Mr. Kang, we're pleased to inform you that you've been accepted at SK University for our position in the department of science. We welcome you with open arms in our facilities and hope that we have a long fruitful standing relationship." Wooyoung looked up at Yeosang who finally gave in and ran his hand through his hair in disbelief. "Yeosang, Yeosang! You did it!! You're in!! I know you would!" He shouted so loud and playfully pushed him before grabbing him into a hug. "You did it Sangie!!!"
Wooyoung was shouting more than he expected. He could tell that the shock was too much on his best friend who simply hugged him back. He felt like he was holding a child. "I'm sorry it's just ... I can't believe it." He whispered against his shoulder.
He knew.
Wooyoung knew how hard he worked to get here. He knew what he had sacrificed to be here at this moment. He knew how many sleepless nights he had gone through. How many nights he would let himself starve to finish papers upon papers and researching what he needed to. He didn't have to be a rocket scientist to know that Yeosang worked 10x harder than anyone else. Wooyoung held him, hoping it could serve as some form of comfort. It broke his heart thinking of the times Yeosang would deprive himself of the little things. Politely declining his friends when they asked him to go out, coming home and shutting himself in his room or sometimes even ignoring Wooyoung. He couldn't think of a time when Yeosang had gone out to enjoy himself these past two years since he began taking those courses.
Wooyoung was good at reading the mood and when he felt Yeosang exhale he knew that the emotion had gotten to him so he held him tighter. There were no words to say then. Nothing but the quiet sniffles and the gentle movement of Yeosang trying to recollect himself. "I'm sorry." Wooyoung heard again. He was about to tell Yeosang that he shouldn't be but the next few words that slipped out weren't what he expected. "I'm sorry I haven't been honest." Confused, he furrowed his eyebrows and tried to pull away but Yeosang held him, keeping his head pressed against his shoulder and continued, "I don't want to be roommates anymore."
Wooyoung felt his chest tighten as if the air was knocked out of his lungs and he pulled away, "What?" His voice came out like a whisper. Everything he had feared last night came rushing back.
Yeosang looked up at him, his eyes a bit puffy and that same emotion that was there this morning was back yet Wooyoung had no idea what it meant. "I don't think I can keep doing this. Lying to myself, pretending like everything's okay." He couldn't understand anything of what Yeosang was trying to say. Wooyoung couldn't find the words to even argue with Yeosang in that moment for the fear that he would break down. "I…" Yeosang started. He looked away, trying to articulate his words and avoided his gaze. "When I take this job, I can't be distracted. I know it'll be hard on me. I had thought it would've been better if I didn't get this job so that I wouldn't be in this mess but I'm grateful I did." Yeosang stopped to glance at him. There was pain laced in his eyes along with desperation. "I can't have you with me when I start this job." He finally said, yet his voice faltered and somewhere in between, Wooyoung thought that he didn't mean those words.
"Why?" Wooyoung tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "Why can't I?" The thought of him being a distraction, a hindrance to Yeosang began to hit him and it made the grip he had on his emotions falter. So that's how Yeosang thought of him. He didn't want to believe that after 9 years of knowing him, that all of it was a lie.
Yeosang swallowed. The pain was evident yet he composed himself. "Because I care too much about this job to cater to you."
Wooyoung stared at Yeosang in disbelief. His heart clenched in his chest and the words pierced through him like a knife. It felt surreal to think that Yeosang was standing here telling him these words that he never knew would be said to him. Somewhere, he knew Yeosang was lying to himself but he swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded while biting his bottom lip. “Okay.” He heard himself say but couldn’t register the words that slipped past his lips. Wooyoung glanced at the remaining food he had to put away and took in another deep breath. Walking over to the kitchen counter, he sighed. He began putting the food away in containers. “I made enough food for tomorrow night.” He felt himself moving yet didn’t really understand what he was doing. “After tomorrow, will you be okay?”
After a bit of silence, Wooyoung shrugged. There was no point staying here anymore. It would only make things worse, unbearable. “Where are you going?” He heard Yeosang ask.
“I’ll be staying at San's place tonight. He wanted me to visit some time anyway so it saves him a trip. I’ll come back sometime during the week to pick up my stuff.” Wooyoung felt the pain in his chest as he said those words and dried his hands. “I’ll pack my stuff.”
Trudging his way into his room, he closed the door letting everything finally hit him. Wooyoung ran his hands through his hair in utter confusion. Placing his hands over his eyes, he felt the tears begin to fall down his face. He didn’t understand anything. Maybe he never did. Maybe everything was just him thinking it was all meant for something but it wasn’t. What Wooyoung didn’t understand was how any of it made sense. So many years just for this. He had wanted to be there for Yeosang no matter what but it was always one-sided. He didn't realize he had slid his way down to the floor. He wiped his face with the hem of his shirt and sniffed. God, he was so pathetic.
When he left his room, bookbag and duffle bag in hand, he stopped by the kitchen. He had texted San while preparing his bags. Thankfully, he didn't hesitate in giving him a place to stay so in turn he'd bring some soju as a thank you. Yeosang didn’t drink much anyway. Wooyoung glanced towards the couch where Yeosang sat with his hands on his head. He shook his head and took the bottles out. “Wooyoung - ”
“You don’t mind right? I bought these for tonight. I figured you wouldn’t drink them anyway.” He said placing them in his duffle bag.
“Wooyoung, can we please talk for a bit?” Yeosang asked, getting up from the couch.
Wooyoung looked over at him confused. “You don’t want me to take it?”
“No that’s not it. I just…”
Wooyoung’s phone began ringing and he fished it out of his pocket.
“Hey.” Wooyoung glanced over at the clock.
“Dinner? I can pick up some dinner.” Yeosang furrowed his eyebrows.
“Oh, that restaurant around here? I think it’s still open. I’m bringing some soju with me, is that okay? It’s flavored though.” Yeosang looked at the letter on the coffee table. “Okay. I should make the last train out. I’ll call you when I get there.”
Wooyoung walked over to the door, bag in hand. “I left you the rest of the food. San wants me to pick up dinner anyway. I’m not sure if you want me to call you when I get there. You’ll probably be asleep by then.”
“Can we please just talk about this?” Yeosang said, frustrated.
Wooyoung scoffed, “We did. You don’t want me around and I respect your decision. I’ll look for an apartment while I’m with San. You can keep this one. It’s closer to your university. Good luck with your new job Yeosangie. I’m really proud of you.”
“I didn’t agree to this.” Yeosang walked over. “I didn’t agree to you leaving like this.”
Wooyoung furrowed his eyebrows at the sudden claim, “Didn’t you say you didn’t want to cater to me? Didn’t you say that you didn’t want me here when you started your new job?” Yeosang looked down, “I don’t understand you anymore. You say one thing and then you say another. I’m respecting your decision but that isn't enough either?” Yeosang stood quiet, not making eye contact with Wooyoung and for once he had no idea what he was thinking. Right then, he could care less. “I’ll see you around.” Yeosang held the door and Wooyoung looked over at him in shock, “Let me out, Yeosang.”
"It doesn't have to be this way."
Wooyoung knew what he meant by those words and the weight it held. It doesn't have to end like this . Wooyoung sighed but tried to pry the door. "Sannie is waiting for me."
Yeosang forced the door closed with a final push and sighed, placing his forehead on Wooyoung's shoulder. Yeosang had never displayed aggression before. Wooyoung stood still, frozen before Yeosang spoke again. "I'm sorry."
It was the softest he'd ever heard him speak. The lump in Wooyoung's throat came back and he swallowed hard before placing his bags down. Turning to look at him, his eyes were red, hair disheveled, tie loosely undone, Yeosang looked absolutely torn. It took a lot in that moment to not break down at the hurt that was so clearly evident on Yeosang's face so instead Wooyoung pulled him into a hug.
The arms around him tightened almost desperately as he held him. Whatever Yeosang was fighting and whatever he had decided on, Wooyoung knew from day one that he would support him. Even though this was the hardest thing he could be experiencing right now, the thought of not seeing him and not being there beside him ripped a hole in his chest but it was what Yeosang wanted. "You can always call me." He managed to say. Yeosang's hold grew tighter and he felt the irregular breathing that often accompanied him when he was crying. "I'll still be here."
Wooyoung reluctantly pulled away and softly smiled. It was bittersweet. 9 years together and now they were going separate ways. Wooyoung bent down to pick up his bags. "I'll be back sometime during the week. I'll leave the key when I'm done picking up my stuff if that's okay."
Yeosang didn't say anything.
Wooyoung opened the door and turned to look at him wondering if he'd stop him again but the intention wasn't there. With that, Wooyoung left and made his way out of their apartment complex.