Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Trisha Elric woke up that morning to her darling daughter Eden and her son Alphonse, she wasn’t expecting this.

“I’m the older brother!” Eden yelled, in the middle of trying to wrestle a book out of Alphonse’s hands. She was losing, but definitely trying.
“What do you mean Eden?” Trisha asked “You're a girl aren’t you?”
“Yeah, but Alphonse is my brother, so I’m his brother!” Eden then continued to try (and fail) To get the book out of her brother's hands.
“Yes, well,” Trisha paused, trying to figure out how to explain this. Eden was smart, no doubt about that, But in terms of societal things, it’s like she couldn’t even bother. “I’ll explain later, ok?” Trisha turned to her husband looking for answers but he just smiled.

After her husband left Trisha with a freshly turned 6 year old Eden and 4 year old Alphonse, she didn’t know what to do. She especially didn’t know what to do when Eden started using male pronouns with contempt. Or what to do when Alphonse copied this. When she asked, Eden responded, “He left. Not everyone will be like that but anyone like Him will.”
“Well,” Trisha started, “ What about jimmy? He’s nice and he’s a boy?”
“They’re not like him.” Was all Eden responded. For some reason, Trisha knew that anyone referred to with more masculine pronouns didn’t escape the ire of her daughter or her son.

****

Alphonse didn’t quite know why dad left, but they did know that anyone labeled with a he or a him was bad. One of the worst. Their father was a he so it had to mean something bad. When they asked their older brother Ed, she said “I don’t know how else to explain it, Al. At the top we have strong people like Mom or Granny, they all respond to a she or her. Then for strangers, we have a they or them. At the bottom we have people like Him, And he is a he. It’s a respect thing. If you like someone , you call them she.”
Then, when Alphonse had questions about titles, thankfully, Ed had answers “We’re brothers. That means we’re family and we love each other. Two she/her’s will often refer to each other as sisters. Then-” and Ed made big circles with her hands as she always did when she got excited, “ The parents of a family, The mom is the more dominant one, and the dad is the submissive one.” “Like winry’s parents?” Alphonse asked. Ed nodded, “Exactly like Winry's parents. Her mom is in charge right? And her Dad is more submissive because she knows the mom is incharge. It’s like husband and wife. The wife is the strong one.”

Alphonse told mom this of course, to make sure, But mom just stood still then laughed. She put down the laundry basket and leaned over putting her hands on the laundry line pole, and struggled to catch her breath after laughing so hard. After taking a breather, mom looked at them with mirth in her eyes. “Who told you that?” She said with a smile. “Ed did.” they answered. Mom wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “I really need to get you two books about things other than science.”

****

Winry was confused. When Ed and Al showed up claiming to have made a breakthrough she expected an alchemy breakthrough. Not for them to tell her about this system they’ve figured out. She was even more confused when, based on their logic , she agreed with them. It made sense, every person she's met that was referred to as a she was pretty respectable, granted the list wasn’t long, Winry was like, 7. So she quite likes this system anyhow. Plus, now she had a new insult.

Winry was shopping with the brothers down at the farmers market when a person bumped into Ed. The person stopped and knelt down trying to help Ed get up, saying, “Sorry, there young lad I didn’t see you.” Her and the brothers froze at such a blatant insult, but like most things Ed adapted quickest. “ ‘s alright,” she said.
Winry was confused on how Ed could take such an insult so easily. I mean insulting someone you just met and bumped into was… gutsy to say the least. Al Walked forward, helped Ed, effectively stopping this person from touching her, and simply smiled and said, “It’s ok sir, have a nice day.” Al then grabbed the slack jawed Ed and Winry and dragged them away. Once they had reached a distance ( and Ed and Winry recuperated), They had some questions. “WHAT THE HELL AL, WE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THEM!” Ed screamed. Winry swiftly followed up with, “I really can’t understand why people think Al is the polite one out of you two. It’s clearly Ed!” Al smiled and said, “I didn’t like him.” This, of course, started another uproar, and a problem that Ed would try and fail to get out of her brother.

****

Mom was getting sick. Eden knew, just like they knew that people with longer hair were to be respected because they could take care of it. They knew because they had eyes. Eden knew they had limited time with their mother. Eden wasn’t sure what they could do. They had his books, but he walked out on them almost two years ago. But, Eden would do anything for their mom. Even when at the funeral, hugging Al close, and not seeing him, they knew what they had to do.

Eden was going to find a teacher.

Chapter Text

Izumi Curtis didn’t know what to make of the two brats that had found her and practically demanded that she teach them. The golden colored little shits clearly respected her as they should, but for some reason were calling her darling husband she. As they sat on the couch across from her, Izumi leveled them with a withering glare.
“Why,” she began, “ Are you referring to my husband as a she?”
The two children looked at each other seemingly confused. One of them- Ed if she remembered properly- spoke up.
“Because we respect her? We can refer to her as they, if you’d like but what else do we call people we respect and care for?” The slightly shorter haired one (Al she thinks?) nodded.
“Yeah,” the longer haired shit began. “If you respect and care for people you call them she. It’s like how the dominant partner is the wife and the husband isn’t. You're the wife, we'll change it if you want, but we figured you’d like it if we respected your husband.”

Neither of them knew quite what to do when she started laughing so hard she ended up coughing up blood.

Izumi had to take these brats in. If for no other reason than the fact that they had the right idea about things. Izumi personally agreed with them. What the hell do you need a gender for? She was a housewife because she was strong and loved her husband. She would have been that even if she had a dick. Her husband was her husband because he loved her. He would’ve been that even if he had a vagina. Why complicate things further?

****

Sig was happy the house was full. His wife had been starting to get sad again, and the two kids were helping out greatly. By agreeing to train them his wife was keeping her mind off of much sadder topics, and allowing them to help raise the kids. They might have been strange kids, but he was already growing fond of them.

They definitely had their quirks though. For some reason the brothers insisted on calling him ma’am or referring to him as her. When he asked his wife, she just started laughing so hard she was coughing up blood. Eventually he gave up and decided to ask the brothers himself.

“It’s because we respect you.” Ed had nonchalantly explained while sweeping, “I mean, only respectable people get to be shes. Your wife is still stronger than you though.” Ed sneezed from the dust.
“What do you mean?” Sig probed.
“Well, you’re big and all, but when you throw something it's not that impressive. When Teacher does it, it’s far cooler ‘cause she’s smaller. The smaller you are, the more impressive it is when you dominate. So, Teacher is much stronger.”
Sig- Sig didn’t have a retort. Sure, he could sling dead bears like nothing, but his wife moved so fluidly when she did it. Her entire body effortlessly moved the big obstacles like they were simple fleas.
Sig decided to tell Ed she was right.
The smile that lit up her face, as she exclaimed, “Thanks! I already knew that though!” was almost worth the confusion. Almost.

****

Ed knew Teacher was going to be mad at them for doing this, but they could never live with themself if they didn’t at least try. They tried to convince Al to stay out of it but she stopped that pretty quickly.
“She was my mom too Ed, I’m helping. If you don’t let me help, I’ll tell Teacher.”
That was that, Al was in on it. They decided on a day, and a place. They spent months gathering the ingredients. Finally, the only thing left was to do it.

They touched the circle together.
And.
Everything.
Went.
White.

****

Al had never been more scared in all their 9 years of life than the day they woke up in the armor, their brother in front of them, bleeding out. Her arm and leg missing. Even worse, their brother slowly losing consciousness. Al loved their brother, their wonderful brother, their kind brother, their brother who loved as if it would kill her if she stopped. Al didn’t want to lose her. Al could only pick up what remained of her and start running to granny’s house. They didn’t care if it was storming, or what else was in the bassment they had just escaped from. They just ran.

All that mattered was that their brother was dying. Al practically kicked down the door to granny’s automail shop. Al felt trapped in their cold, unfeeling suit. They wanted to cry, wanted their big brother to wipe away their tears with her golden hands and sing them to sleep with one of mom or Teacher’s lullabies. Al wanted their big brother to be okay.

“Help! Ed’s injured! I-I don’t know what to do, She's barely moving!” Al yelled, trying to wake anyone, anybody that could help their big brother.
Finally, Granny ran out, barely avoiding tripping on her way to them. When she saw what had happened, her face turned white.
“Put her on the table. Now! You two can explain yourselves when she wakes up.” Granny barked, pointing to a bed and hurrying to fetch her supplies.

***

While Al’s big brother slept in the aftermath, they made sure to take care of her hair. Ed deserved to have her hair long. She deserved to be able to show off to the world that she could take care of things well. She could. She took care of Al, and- and she-
Al didn’t even notice they were sobbing until Winry put her hand on their shoulder.
“Let me get you a hair tie. Ed still likes her hair braided right?” Winry spoke softly as she handed Al a brush.
“Yeah,” Al choked out, “She does. She likes to keep it long, but she needs it to stay out of her face.”
Winry nodded quietly and handed them a hair tie.

****

To be frank, Roy Mustang had no fucking clue why he was still there. It had become clear that the two alchemists they came to talk to were actually young kids. Coming out for this had been a total bust. Yet- there he was with Hawkeye, stood in front of an open front door and a trail of blood. He wordlessly turned to Hawkeye, and she gripped her rifle tighter. They nodded at each other, slowly descending the steps into the bloody basement. Roy held back a flinch as he realized what they had uncovered.

A human transmutation circle.

Roy didn’t remember the walk to the automail shop, much less kicking in the door and barreling over an old lady. He remembered picking up that kid and yelling at them though. More to the point, he remembered how the suit of armor had moved.
It had grabbed his hand and yelled, “PUT MY BROTHER DOWN! CAN’T YOU SEE SHE'S INJURED?”
Hawkeye had pulled out her gun in a second, ready to fire, then-
“Put your gun down! I will not have any patients be threatened! Al sit down! They were just putting your brother down.” The old lady turned to them, “Weren’t you?”

Roy put the (girl? But then why had everyone called them brothers?) down, and Hawkeye lowered her gun. Slowly, the armored figure (Al?) lowered his hand as well.
Roy turned to look at the girl in the chair and recognised the same fire in her eyes he knew were in his own. At once he knew two things to be true: this girl would not let herself remain in such a state, and he needed more allies.
“When you're done moping around, you should consider becoming a state alchemist. You would have more resources to gain your bodies back.”
The girl nodded, then froze when the armor said, “Thank you sir for the suggestion.”
The girl turned to the armor loudly whispering, “ Al, you shouldn’t call them that, they were just doing their job!”
As he walked out, he heard the girl yell, “NO AL, YOU CAN’T FUCKING CALL PEOPLE THAT FOR NO REASON!”

Roy turned to look at Hawkeye, confused, and became more confused at the look on her face that said she had just put something together.
“What have you figured out, lieutenant?”
Hawkeye simply hummed and responded, “Nothing dangerous sir. No need to worry.”

For some reason, Roy couldn’t shake the feeling of foreboding he got hearing that.

Chapter Text

Ed was not looking forward to the automail surgery, but they were really not looking forward to having to call and tell Teacher what they did. They knew they had to though, so she picked up the phone and dialed. They heard the line going through and then-
“Hello? This is Curtis’s butcher shop, how can I help you?”
“We- I messed up, teacher.”
A moment of silence passed.
“Where are you two?” Teacher demanded.
“Rockbells automail shop-” Was all Ed could get out before the line went cold.

Ed should have been prepared for when Teacher and her husband showed up the next day, but they were not. Teacher looked at them, then looked at Al, and sighed.
Teacher knelt down and looked Ed in the eyes. “What did you two do?”
Ed’s voice was very quiet. “We tried bringing mom back. It wasn’t fair that she didn’t get to keep on living! We- we wanted her to be able to meet you, to be able to smile, to enjoy the rain again.”
Teacher sighed and pulled them both close. “You don’t have to act tough, you know.” She softly said, bringing in Al as well. “People grieve. It doesn't make them weak.”

Thankfully, Teacher didn’t mention the tear stains on her dress.

****

Al knew as soon as brother got on her feet, she was going to become a state alchemist. They knew they couldn’t sway her, and they knew they were coming too. They had to make sure she would be ok.
Ed would ensure that she couldn’t come back, not until she’d completed what she’d set out to do. Ed was like that, committing to something and refusing to turn back no matter what.

Al noticed their brother stopped wearing any of her dresses.
Al had asked about it, and Ed had responded. “I don’t deserve to wear a dress.”
Al heavily disagreed. Only the best got to wear dresses -like mom and Teacher- and that meant Ed.

So, while Ed was asleep, Al snuck into their old house. They did their best to ignore the blood on the stairs as they carefully walked past the basement and recovered a few of Mom’s dresses.
As soon as they got back, they quietly handed the package to Granny. They knew she would keep the dresses safe until Ed was ready to wear them again.

Al did not anticipate that their brother would set their old house on fire, but in retrospect, they honestly should have.

****

Roy Mustang had no fucking clue what had possessed that girl to do that to the fuhrer.
She had pulled a fucking spear out of the ground, no circle required. (Roy has Questions). Then, she had threatened the Fuhrer with it. The strangest thing of all was that the Fuhrer had found this hilarious, rather than outright treasonous. Instead of a hanging at dawn, the girl only got a laugh and a confirmation that she was accepted. To Roy’s utter bafflement, the girl nodded, called the Fuhrer ma’am, and left. The only good thing to come out of the mess was that the girl (now named Fullmetal), was put on his team just as he had hoped.
To celebrate, he, Hawkeye, and Fullmetal went out to lunch in a garden. While Fullmetal devoured a sandwich like she had never eaten in her fucking life, she stopped, swallowed, turned to him and said, “You really don’t like the Fuhrer huh?”

Roy blinked. Hawkeye blinked. They both looked at each other, then turned to stare at Fullmetal.
“How did you come to that conclusion?” Hawkeye asked.
Fullmetal took a swig of water then said “You didn’t react at all when I threatened the Fuhrer. That’s not really something a worried subordinate would do.”
Ah, so that had been where his act had fallen through-
“Also you called them sir. Weird thing to call someone you respect. Straight to their face too.” Fullmetal interrupted his thoughts, and left him with only one.

“...What?”

****

Riza Hawkeye was not particularly happy that a child had been let into the military, much less an extremely traumatized orphan. At the very least though, it was good that they seemed to have a system with their brother figured out. Riza hadn’t told the Colonel because if it was easy enough for her to pick up on it within 15 minutes of meeting the brothers, she had no doubt he could do it too ... eventually.

Although, he had been in his office for a while now, just staring at the wall looking confused, and she wondered if she’d had a little too much faith in him. She’d thought it was pretty easy to figure out that the Elric brothers didn’t view pronouns as ways to refer to someone's gender, but rather as a way to tell someone how much you respected and or cared for them. But now, Colonel was just muttering quietly to himself.
“Sir is disrespectful? What? But ma’am isn't? What the-” And on and on.
Riza was a little disappointed that the Colonel didn’t quite meet her expectations, but the feeling was tempered by the realization that she now had a new form of entertainment:

Watching Colonel Roy Mustang try to figure out the phenomenon known as the Elric brothers.

****

Jean Havoc knew the department was getting a new boss at work. He hadn’t expected much. All he knew was that it would be a state alchemist, and that those crazies could be anything. Yet a young child- surely no older than 12- accompanied by an even younger boy in a giant suit of armor, was NOT anywhere on the list. Hawkeye, seemingly ignoring his dismay that they had let a goddamn child into the military, introduced him.
“This is Jean Havoc. If you need any help let them know.”

The kid nodded, turned to him, and rather informally said, “Nice to meetcha. Just call me Ed. This is my younger brother over here.” They gestured at the armor.
The younger brother seemed to take that as his cue to speak. “My name is Alphonse Elric. It’s nice to meet you sir.”
Before Jean could even process what the fresh fuck was happening, Ed turned to their brother and quiet yelled. “Al, We don’t even know them! Stop disrespecting people like that, Truth dammit!”
To Jean's utter bafflement, Hawkeye seemed to share the sentiment with Ed and glared at Alphonse.

Jean, now convinced that this was the most confusing day of his life, just turned off his brain to mouth filter. “It’s fine? Don’t worry about it Boss. I’m more confused how someone as small as you can somehow be strong enough to be a state alchemist! It’s kinda intimidating to think about.”
Hearing that, Ed perked up like he had given them a puppy for Christmas. “Thanks! I knew I would like you. See, Al? Not everyone is rude here!”

Jean had given up guessing what was going to come out of their mouths next and Alphonse still managed to surprise him when he asked, “Then why do people keep calling you a he?”

Chapter Text

Roy would like to state that for the record he thought he knew what he was getting into. Sure, he knew when he asked a 12 year old to join the military, that there were going to be some complications. However, as he, Hawkeye, and the Elrics, were walking down the streets, he did not anticipate this.

The thing in question being everyone referring to Fullmetal as a he. The first time, Fullmetal had scowled, (more than usual at least) and Alphonse had stiffened up. When he looked over at Hawkeye, he saw that even she had reacted, albeit minimally. Every time Fullmetal was referred to as such, she just seemed angry, but she never acted out. Her brother on the other hand seemed to be ready to fight, which was strange considering how calm Alphonse usually was.

Later, after they had dropped the Elrics off at their dorm, he sat in his office replaying the reactions in his head. Fullmetal had no problem confronting people, he could attest to that. So why on earth had neither sibling said something? And why had Hawkeye reacted like that? She was usually extremely calm, but Fullmetal being referred to as a he caused her to stiffen and squeeze her hand tighter.

So why didn’t anybody say anything? It was almost like they were hiding something-oh.
Oh.
Oh no.

Roy couldn’t figure out what on Earth had possessed Fullmetal to hide her gender?! Did she think it was the only way she’d be allowed to become a state alchemist? Was she trying to-
Roy tightened his grip on his pen as his mind spiraled.
Oh god, did she think this was the only way to take care of her brother? She was barely 12 for fucks sake! Roy knew for a fact they had parental figures that could’ve looked after them! When he had asked her to join the military he didn’t think he was signing up to help her hide her gender!

Roy tightened his grip again, and his pen snapped in half.
He had only one resolve in his head. He was going to help Fullmetal keep this secret, and make sure she could still enjoy being a girl.

****

Hawkeye had known this day would come eventually, but she didn’t see it happening this fast.
So when Alphonse called her practically screaming for help because their Brother woke up bleeding, Hawkeye didn’t even think to grab Colonel, she just grabbed her gun and ran out to the dorms. When she skidded to a stop in front of their door, she began frantically pounding at the door.
“Alphonse? It’s Hawkeye, open up!”

The door flung open, and Alphonse was standing there nervously.
“Brother locked herself in the bathroom. I can’t get her out.”
As Alphonse led her to the bathroom, she heard quiet sobbing. Hawkeye prepared herself for the worst as Alphonse quietly whispered to their sibling, telling them that Hawkeye had arrived. The door unlocked and Hawkeye went in and closed it behind her.

Eden was on the floor, bleeding out from her nether regions. Then it clicked.
“Oh Eden,” Hawkeye said. “You're not dying-”
“What's happening then?” Eden asked. “I’ve read a bunch of biology books! I know how to help someone giving birth, and I know how to deliver a baby, but I don’t know what this is!”

Hawkeye took a deep breath, “You're just getting your first period Eden. It happens to almost every woman when they reach a certain age. How about you take a shower to clean yourself up? I’ll get some supplies and tell you more about it when I come back.”
Eden looked up at her and quietly asked, “I’m not going to die?”
Hawkeye shook her head.
“Okay. I’ll take a shower. Come back soon.”
Hawkeye nodded.
As she was leaving Alphonse stopped her, “Is Brother going to be ok?”
Hawkeye nodded, “Yes. She'll be fine. I’ll tell you both more when I get back.”

****

When Hawkeye got back and explained everything, Eden looked like her soul was leaving her body.
“You mean this will happen every month until I’m 50?! This is the second worst deal of my fucking life!”
Alphonse wasn’t faring much better, muttering to themselves about having to find an array to stop cramps.
Hawkeye simply sighed and told them “ If you have any questions, feel free to call them anytime.”
She put her hand on Eden's head, and gave her a head pat. Eden put her hand on her head where Hawkeye’s once was, dazed. After blinking a couple of times, she looked away, embarrassed.
“...ok, thanks.” She muttered.

Hawkeye looked softly at the two of them and smiled before she got up and left. The brothers would be ok, and if not, Hawkeye would make it ok.

****

Sig didn’t know what to think when he looked over at his wife, telephone in hand, as she laughed so hard she started coughing up blood. He looked at her worriedly, reaching out to help, but she held up her hand, taking a deep breath to calm herself. She waved him off and went back to her conversion.
“So let me get this straight Ed,” She wheezed, “You thought that you were dying, but in actuality you just got your first period? You dumbass.”
Sig looked on as his wife smiled and continued to mess with Ed. She looked so happy, like a part of her had finally been fulfilled.

After Izumi finally hung up the phone she turned to look at Sig.
Mirth practically radiating off her body she said, “Sig! We’re going out to go shopping today. I think Ed and Al deserve a treat basket.”
He looked lovingly at his wife and replied, “Of course. You know those brothers are working so hard.”

****

Roy had been busy.
In his efforts to make sure Fullmetal’s secret was safe, he had started a list of people who were in the know. He had started with the obvious ones, himself, Hawkeye, Fullmetal and Alphonse. Next, the people he thought might have known, namely, the rest of his team. He knew that to make sure the secret didn’t spread further, he’d half to tell Alphonse to stop calling Fullmetal a she.

…Why did Roy feel like he had started an impossible task?

Chapter Text

Maes was excited to see this kid Royboy had been talking so much about. From what he’d said, they were a capable spitfire, unafraid to back down from any challenge. 

As he approached Roy’s office, he heard bickering from inside.

“So, how did your mission go Fullmetal?” He recognized Roy’s voice. 

“You Bastard! You sent us on a wild goose chase! That stone was a fake!” Now that was a new voice, high pitched. Must be Fullmetal. 

As Maes entered the office he nearly ran into a giant suit of armor. Well, he guessed that had been why they were given the name Fullmetal. 

“It’s nice to meet you! You must be the Fullmetal Alchemist!” He greeted.

The armored individual looked around nervously before pointing behind him. “Oh- That’s- I’m not- You’re looking for my big brother. She's behind me.” They stuttered and awkwardly shuffled to the side, revealing what could only be described as the world’s grumpiest 15 year old, already scowling at him- Wait. She?! But- everyone had been calling the young alchemist he and- 

Oh. 

She wanted to be a she. Poor kid.  No wonder she was so upset. Everyone had been misgendering her! 

Horrified, Maes exclaimed, “Oh my apologies! It’s very nice to meet you, young lady-” Maes noticed that her scowl turned into a look of pleasant confusion, blinking rapidly as he spoke- “ My apologies for confusing you for your brother! I heard Fullmetal and saw a suit of armor, and- oh dear, I’m so sorry!”

Fullmetal looked slightly bashful as she turned towards her brother and they exchanged glances. She looked back at Maes nervously.

“It’s fine… you can just call me Ed though… And thanks for-” She shifted, “..you know… apologizing. Not a lot of people do.”  

And Maes-

Maes couldn’t help but think of daughter, looking at Ed. He saw a very sad future where his daughter thought she didn’t deserve to be treated with basic human decency.  Just looking at these kids was making his heart hurt. He couldn’t take it.

“Hey, why don’t you two come over for dinner? My wife is making a stew tonight and we're bound to have leftovers anyway.” 

The kids looked at each other, surprised. A brief moment of what seemed to be telepathy and they turned to Maes as one. 

Ed spoke, “Would your wife be ok with it? I mean it’s her house after all…” Maes smiled. He didn't know what Royboy had been on about, these kids were sweethearts. 

“She’ll be more than happy. I just need to call her and let her know. Does six sound okay to you?” 

The kid in the armor shifted. “...ok. My name is Alphonse but most people call me Al.” 

“It’s nice to meet you Al. Are you alright being called they/them?” 

Ed perked up, like he had just passed a test so many failed. “Yeah. Al likes they, but is also fine with she.”  

Maes nodded. “I’ll be sure to let my wife know.” 

Maes swore that by the end of the night these kids would feel SO loved.

****

Gracia Hughes was on a mission. 

When her husband had come home and told her about those poor kids, the little girl in a world that refused to acknowledge her, and the little one in a suit of armor surrounded by people assuming they even had a gender at all, she knew what she needed to do.  

She had climbed into their attic, and begun to pull out all the old skirts and dresses saved from her teenage years. Beside her, her husband had suggested that they leave everything out, reasoning that the girl had a particular sense of style, and would know better than them what she wanted to wear. 

Later, as Gracia started making stew, she heard her husband coaching their daughter. 

“Ok, honey. We're going to be having guests over tonight okay?” Elicia nodded. “Now, even if they look a little different, they want you to know that they’re both girls. They just haven’t been as lucky as you or Mommy so it’s our job to help them dress nicely.” 

Elicia tilted her head. “‘Kay Daddy! I’m gonna make sure they feel like the bestest, prettiest princesses EVER!” 

Maes smiled. “I know you will, honey.”

****

Al was nervous. Maes had seemed so nice, especially compared to everyone else here in Central. She managed to apologize, call Brother she (as Brother deserved), and notified her wife before they arrived. Brother seemed just as nervous, judging by the nicer than usual braid and the way she had traded her favorite bright red coat for something a little more formal. Al themself had put their nicest loin cloth on over their armor, and gotten Brother to buff out any minor scratches that normally she would’ve fixed later that night. 

When they arrived, Brother hesitated before knocking on the door. 

They both liked Maes, and that meant they needed her wife to like them. They really didn’t want Maes to leave them.  Brother had barely knocked before the door flung open to reveal a small child. A moment later Maes herself appeared, smiling warmly at them. 

“This is Elicia, my daughter,” Maes said, picking up the girl. 

“Hiiiii! My name's Elicia!” She happily exclaimed. “Mommy’s almost done cooking dinner, can you play with me?” 

Al watched almost all the nerves left Brother’s body in a single rush.

“Yeah,” Brother said softly, looking lovingly at the little girl. “Of course we can.” 

****

Al loved watching Brother play with little kids. Part of it had to do with the way it got people to really, truly, look at Ed and realize what a great brother she had been all along. Brother never noticed of course, she was always too busy playing with the kids, but Al reveled in the realization every time. They enjoyed watching the shock and disbelief in people’s eyes.  

This time was different though, Maes already knew how wonderful their brother was. Instead of the usual shock, Al got to see a soft look of warmth as Brother accepted a crown from Elicia and began dutifully braiding her hair. 

After dinner, (And a significant struggle to convince the family that no , Al didn’t need to eat, and yes, they would take leftovers in case they got hungry later.) Mrs. Hughes and Maes asked them to follow them upstairs. To their surprise, the upstairs room was littered with skirts and dresses. Before they could ask, Mrs. Hughes stepped forward. 

“These are all the skirts and dresses that I've grown out of over the years. They’ve just been wasting space with me, but I thought they might find a better home with you two. Especially you, Ed.” 

Al heard a sharp gasp from behind them and turned towards it, only to see Brother, her eyes huge and glassy behind them.

 “...For me? Are you sure? I don’t really deserve them.” Ed choked.

A sad look crossed Maes’ face as she stepped forward and said, “Oh, kiddo. You deserve this. Of course you do. And you deserve to be called she.” 

Al watched as a dam seemed to break and Brother just started sobbing.  As everyone stepped in to hug Brother, Al leaned into her ear and whispered, “Brother, you deserve these. You deserve to be happy and you deserve the best.” 

That night Ed went home with some new dresses, and Al went home with fresh hope that one day, maybe someday soon, Brother would feel good enough to try on their mother’s dresses.

Chapter Text

When Hawkeye came in the next morning, she expected the usual fanfare of the team slacking off, her cocking her rifle, followed by the team actually doing their work. 

However, when she saw Maes as she was walking in, she had a new objective.

“Maes.” 

Maes turned to look at her as she continued, “Did you figure it out about the Elrics?” Maes nodded. 

“Yeah,” He said. 

“I’ll take it, you've figured it out too then?” 

Hawkeye nodded. She was the first to figure it out after all. 

“....And Roy?” 

Hawkeye shook her head. “Clueless as far as I can tell.” 

The two of them looked at each other. 

“...You wanna place a bet to see how long it’ll take him?” 

“Lieutenant Colonel, I would like nothing more.”

After all, Hawkeye mused, it would be incredibly funny to see Colonel's face when he realized that he’d been right to think that Eden had been disrespecting him every time she called him sir. 

****

Maes was so glad the kids had someone else to rely on incase they had any trouble with people referring to them using the incorrect pronouns. Hawkeye was much scarier than he was after all. He was so glad that they were both on the same page about those kids. They deserved to feel comfortable in their own skins.

Now, time to find Royboy and show him those adorable pictures he got of Ed and Al playing with Elicia last night.

****

As Roy sat looking at pictures that Maes took where he somehow managed to tame Fullmetal into playing with his daughter, He came to one terrible conclusion. 

Maes knows Fullmetal’s secret. 

As Maes rambled on, Roy chugged his coffee and then promptly slammed his head into his desk. 

****

Nina Tucker was excited. 

Daddy had said they were having guests over today! Maybe they’d wanna play with her? Daddy didn't let her play with the other kids, but maybe the guests could play! Nina hoped so. She even put on her best dress just in case. She heard a commotion with Alexander and ran outside to see the guests. After getting Alexander off of the smaller one, she introduced herself. 

“Hi! I’m Nina! Would you please play with me?” 

“Nina…” Oh no! Daddy! He sounded upset, which meant no lunch for Nina and- 

“Of course we can!” The guests chorused. 

Daddy blinked, confused. “...But the alchemy books-” 

“-Will still be there.” The smaller one said. 

Daddy stared blankly at the two of them for a moment before dazedly going inside. The smaller one bent down to Nina’s eye level, so that she could get a closer look. The guest had pretty golden hair and eyes, and a warm smile. 

“Hello Nina. My name’s Eden, but you can call me Ed, over there is my little brother-” She pointed to the waving suit of armor. “Her name is Alphonse but you can call her Al.”  

And Nina- 

These guests were so warm, so kind. They got down to her level unlike Daddy who always wanted her to get up to his. (It wasn’t fair, she just wasn’t very big yet!) Nina wanted desperately for them to stay.

Excitedly, she blurted.  “Can I call you big brothers too?”

****

Nina loved playing with Big Brothers Ed and Al! They would take breaks from their studying unlike Daddy, and would play all sorts of games with her! And- and they taught her all sorts of things! Like- why plants are green and why water was blue AND they taught her all about manners ! Nina knew all sorts of things now, like you were supposed to call the people you love and respect she or her! Nina had the bestest brothers EVER!

And then one day Daddy said she had to sit in this circle with Alexander to create a surprise for her brothers. She wasn’t sure she was going to like it.

****

Al barely managed to pull Brother off of Mr. Tucker. 

If it were up to Al, they would’ve let Brother kill him. But Nina was still there, and she didn’t deserve to see that. So Al pulled Brother off him, and led both Nina and Brother outside. 

It was raining, Al noted blankly that it must be making Ed’s prosthetics ache as she got down to Nina's level and hugged her, sobbing. Al would have joined her, but the armor of their body stated stoic, unyielding. All they could do was bend down to hug the two of them. 

“Big Brothers… Hurts ….” Nina managed. 

“I know Nina. It’s okay, I’ll find a way to fix it.” Brother soothed. 

Al didn’t know how long they stayed like that, in the rain.

Eventually though, something shifted in the air and Brother's hair stood on end. In a moment, they exchanged a glance. Something was coming and they needed to move quickly.

Brother turned to Nina, softly. “Okay Nina, we’re going to play a game. Do you remember hide and seek?” 

Nina nodded. 

“This is just like that. Go hide, really, really well, and only come out when we tell you that the game is over, okay?” 

Nina nodded again.

In moments she was gone, and the brothers carefully ventured back into the house. At the front door stood a man with an X across his face. 

****

Nina was really good at hide and seek! She was very quiet, and very still. Even as it felt like her insides were screaming, she stayed quiet as a mouse. She didn’t want to disappoint her big brothers. 

After what seemed like forever, she heard Big Brother Ed yell, “Nina! Come out! The game is over. You won!”  

Nina got out of her spot and slowly treaded to where she had heard her big brothers. When she got there, Nina wanted to sob. Big Brother Ed was missing an arm! And Big Brother Al was missing so much of her body! 

What had happened? Was this why they wanted her to hide? 

Nina was crying as she made her way to the two of them, “Big Brothers… What hap- happened?”

Big Brother Ed turned to her and smiled, “We survived. We’re broken, but we’ll live.” She put her hand on Nina’s head, “Besides, we still have to fix you up, right?” 

And Nina- 

Nina didn’t think anyone, not even Daddy, had loved Nina as much as this.

Chapter Text

Maes was leading Armstrong to the train station where the Elrics were. As they walked, Maes remembered something important and momentarily stopped showing Armstrong pictures of his adorable daughter. 

“Oh, Armstrong!” Maes leaned in close to whisper this part. “They both like she/her pronouns. Not a lot of people have been very accommodating, okay?” 

Armstrong nodded, “Of course! The young Elrics deserve to be welcomed properly!” 

Maes nodded satisfiedly and continued on showing off his pictures with Armstrong nodding along attentively. 

When they got there, Maes was certain that the portion where Al’s armor had been covered up with a tarp had moved a little, but brushed it off.

“Ed, Al.” Maes gained the siblings' attention. “This is Major Armstrong. Since you two are being hunted by Scar, it’s necessary for you to take an escort in case an attack happens, okay?” 

Ed made a face. “A babysitter? Is Colonel Bastard serious?” 

“Please, Ed.”

Ed grumbled quietly but the boarding whistle sounded and Ed had run out of time to argue. “Damnit! Whatever. We have to get on the train! Goodbye Maes, thanks for everything!” Ed ducked in for a hug and Maes felt her slip a note into his palm.

Maes watched the train leave the station, silently wondering what the message could possibly say. He headed home quickly, figuring that the note would be better read there. 

****

Armstrong was liking the young Elrics already. They were nice enough kids, despite the fact that they insisted on calling him ma’am. He had tried to correct them, but young Alphonse had gently set her hand on Armstrong’s shoulder and chided him.

“You shouldn’t think so lowly of yourself ma’am, we think you’re great!” Armstrong looked towards young Eden, baffled, only to be met with a serious nod. 

Armstrong wasn’t sure why, but the whole thing had left him oddly flattered. 

The train had been going for a couple minutes before young Eden looked around and whispered, “Hey ma’am can you keep a secret?” 

Armstrong nodded, “Of course young Eden! How can I help you?”

Armstrong expected a question, maybe a feeling she needed help sorting out. This is to say, Armstrong had not expected a very strange dog to poke their head out of young Alphonse's armor. Nor had he expected it to speak.

 “Big Brother Ed… Hungry.” 

The thing that was not a dog crawled into young Eden’s lap and she fed it a sandwich, wiping off the crumbs from its face with a handkerchief. Armstrong’s face must’ve shown his surprise, because young Alphonse leaned over to explain the situation. 

“That’s Nina. Her father was worried about losing his job as a state alchemist, so he made a chimera by combining her with the family dog.”

Armstrong looked on in horror, only imagining how terrifying that must’ve been for that little girl. 

As the thin- No. As Nina finished eating, she started winding down in young Eden’s lap. 

“Big Brother Ed… Braid?” 

Young Eden nodded, looking lovingly at the poor little girl, “Sure thing, Nina. What color bow do you want?” 

“P-Pink!” Nina happily declared, tail wagging. 

Young Eden turned to look up at Armstrong, “Ma’am? Could you please get a pink bow from my suitcase?” 

Armstrong had never been happier to get something down for someone. 

By the end of the train ride, Armstrong had only one question. 

“Does Maes know?” 

Young Eden blinked. “She should. I mean, I left it in the note I handed her right before we got on.”

****

Winry. Was. Pissed. 

The first call she gets from that idiot in a week, and it’s to tell her that some serial killer destroyed her precious automail! And Al’s armor! She was going to KILL Ed. What could have possibly possessed the complete and utter Dumbass to get in a fight with a KNOWN serial killer?! 

As Ed entered the shop, she readied a wrench, throwing it at his head. “YOU IDIOT!” She yelled “WHY! THE FUCK! WOULD YOU GO AFTER A KNOWN SERIAL KILLER? OF ALL THE-” Winry paused as she felt a tugging on her pant leg. Looking down, she saw a dog that wasn’t hers staring up at her. Winry lowered her arms in confusion, and then raised them again when the thing spoke . 

“Don’t… be mean to… Big Brother Ed… Only hurt… protecting me.” 

And then it walked back to Ed to receive pets with his one good hand. 

“Wha-” She looked back at Ed. “Explain. Now.”  

The full story took a while, and by the end Winry was a little less mad, but she was still not happy. She was just- not angry enough to throw wrenches at Ed or call her a he anymore. 

****

Tim Marcoh had been expecting a lot of things when the military finally showed up at his door. Guns. Murder. More types of torture than he wanted to imagine. Critically, missing from this list was a 15 year old begging him to fix a chimera. Yet, here he was, faced with exactly that. 

At first he hadn’t known how to respond, but after hearing the little girl’s story, he knew he had to do whatever he could to help. Before he started, he warned them that Nina would never truly be fully human. The young alchemist nodded solemnly, and Marcoh got to work. 

In the end, the little girl ended up with dog ears, a tail, thicker nails, and a keen sense of smell. None of this seemed to matter to her when she woke up, instead she simply tackled her big brother in a hug, tail wagging wildly.

Eventually, they asked again and Marcoh reluctantly revealed to them where the stones came from. He was met only with a scowl and questions about why he hadn’t told them sooner, insisting that they would’ve liked to know everything before the procedure. 

****

Maes read the note in shock, coffee falling out of his slack-jawed mouth,  struck dumb with the realization that no, it couldn’t have waited.

Chapter Text

Nina was so, so, happy!! She didn’t hurt anymore! She could eat food without Big Brother Ed helping! (Although she still did clean Nina’s face.) She could run and play! She could see more colors now! The only downside was that in public, Nina had to wear a big hat to cover her ears and a long skirt to cover her tail. Big Brother Al said that it was done so other people wouldn’t take her away, and Big Brother Al was smart, so she must be right. 

The day before they headed back, Big Brother Ed and Al, took her to a pretty hill with a stone on top. Big Brother Ed kneeled down in front of it and gestured for Nina to join her. After Nina sat, Big Brother Ed spoke. “Nina, I want you to meet someone very important to me. This is me and Al’s mom.” 

Nina looked at the stone, and noticed written on it were her Big Brother’s last names. 

Nina turned to look at Big Brother Ed. “Why’s she a stone?” 

Big Brother Al stepped in. “She’s not a stone, Nina. This is just something to remember her by. She’s dead.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Nina said. “...What’s a mom?”

Big Brother Ed gently stroked through Nina's hair, “A mom is someone who takes real good care of you. They’re really strong, and almost always referred to as She/Her. They make you feel safe and loved.”  

*****

That night Big Brother Ed knelt down, looking serious. “Nina, what me and Al are doing is dangerous. We think it’d be better if you stay here with Winry-" 

"NO!” Nina cried. “I’m not staying! You can’t make me stay! I want to go with you!” 

Big Brother Al tried stepping forward “Nina-” 

“NO! I’m coming!” 

After dinner, Nina went to bed upset. She laid awake, replaying the day’s events. One thing kept sticking out to her, “A mom is someone who takes real good care of you.-” Big Brother Ed did that. She braided Nina’s hair, helped her read and understand things, and she even sang her lullabies. Big Brother Al sometimes helped, but Big Brother Ed was the one who took the most care of Nina. She took care of Big Brother Al too.

“They’re really strong-” Like Big Brother Ed. What was the last thing? 

“They make you feel safe and loved.” Big Brother Ed was the best at that, she was so warm and loving- Wait! Nina wanted to jump from the bed out of excitement over what she had figured out!

Big Brother Ed was Nina’s Mama! This was great! Nina’s tail started wagging. Nina had always wanted a Mama but Daddy had always said she didn’t have one- 

But. Nina’s Mama was leaving tomorrow! She was going to leave, and Nina was going to lose her! She felt a sense of determination crystalize within her. She had just found her Mama, and no matter what she was going to figure out a way to stay with her!

****

Armstrong could tell the Young Elrics were upset at leaving Young Nina behind, even though it was for the best. 

“What if she hates us for leaving her?” Young Eden worried.

“She won’t hate us Brother-” 

“But what if she feels like we don’t love her?” 

“Big brother-” 

“What if-” 

“Brother.” Young Alphonse said sternly, stopping her siblings' panicked ramblings. “Nina will not hate you. You explained it to her as best you could, and it’s not like we're not going to visit.” 

At this Young Eden seemed to finally relax a bit. “You're right Al. I’ve done nothing but worry for the whole time we’ve been on this train.” 

A moment of peaceful silence surrounded the train car.

And then they heard a sneeze from Young Eden’s suitcase. 

Armstrong slowly picked up the suitcase and put it on the seat for Young Eden to open. As soon as she did, Young Nina tumbled out. 

“NINA?!” All of them said simultaneously, 

“What are you doing here?!” Young Eden questioned. 

“I’m coming with you Mama! You and Big Brother Al!” 

“It’s too dangerous- Wait. Mama?” Young Eden responded. 

“Yeah! You were telling me what a Mama is yesterday, and I figured it all out! You're my Mama!-” Young Eden was getting glassy eyed. “-And Big Brother Al is still Big Brother Al!” 

“You… want me as a Mom?” Young Eden choked out. 

“Yeah! Do you… Not wanna be my Mama?” Young Nina shifted nervously.

Young Eden seemed about ready to cry, “But.. I’m sure there's much better moms out there, Nina. Are you-” 

“But those moms aren’t you, Mama.” 

At this, Young Alphonse seemed to step in. “Brother, you already pretty much raised me. The only difference is this time you’ve got more accessible help and you can reach the counters to cook food easier.”

Armstrong still sensed some hesitancy from Young Eden and knew just what to say. “Young Eden, for what little time I've known you, I can see you are a deeply loving and caring individual. There could be no more suitable mother.” 

Young Eden finally let go of her tears, and grabbed Young Nina in a close warm hug. “I would love to be your mom.” 

“I know,” Young Nina said, tail wagging. “Because you already were.” 

He had never been so glad, Armstrong mused, arms full of Elrics, that his muscles were so great at giving hugs. 

****

Maria Ross stood at the train station, as nervous as could be. She’d heard many stories about the Fullmetal Alchemist, and she felt she had the right to be a little concerned. She waited with Denny Brosh as the train pulled into the station, and Armstrong stepped out in front of her. She wondered what The Fullmetal Alchemist would look like. 

What she was eventually met with was a fucking teenager holding a five year old in her arms, and a giant suit of armor. 

Armstrong gestured to the teenager intent on introductions, “This is the Fullmetal Alchemist, her name is Eden. Her sibling in the armor is Alphonse.” 

She snuck a glance to her side, Denny was struck dumb by the scene if the open mouth was anything to go by. Maria internally willed him to get it together and stepped forward to introduce herself. 

“Hello, my name is Maria Ross. It’s lovely to meet you, miss.” 

Maria clocked a pleasantly confused look in return, like Eden wasn’t expecting to be respected. Maria had one thought as she reflected on the scene in front of her. 

She wondered if all these kids were open for adoption.

****

Ed sat in their hotel, brushing gently through Nina’s locks. They still felt inadequate. While they may have raised Al, look at where Ed had led her. She was stuck as a suit of armor, unfeeling, unsleeping. They watched quietly as Al played with Nina, trying to wind her down for bed. Ed stayed pensive as they tucked Nina to bed. They quickly checked Al over for any scratches that needed to be buffed out. There weren’t many, it wasn’t a day where Al had fought. 

Finally Ed approached the bed that they shared with Nina. She sleepily turned to look at them. 

“Mama-” Nina yawned, “Can you sing me a lullaby?” 

“Of course,” Ed said looking lovingly at Nina, their new daughter.

They watched contentedly as Nina slowly fell asleep to their singing, Al in the background making a toy for Nina. Ed felt nothing but love in their heart and wondered if this was how Mom had felt.

Chapter Text

Hawkeye was happy that the brothers were back and in top shape. She had been so worried when she found them in that alleyway, broken and scared. As soon as the Colonel gave her the hotel address, she was already on her way. She strode past a shell shocked looking Maes, who, when asked, simply shook his head. Thankfully, it wasn’t that far of a walk. Now, she was sitting in the lobby for the brothers to come down and greet her.  Maria Ross, one of the brothers' escorts if memory served her right, sat down in front of her. 

“They’re wonderful kids,” She said. 

“Yes.” Hawkeye agreed, “ They are.”

The conversation more or less died after that.

Hawkeye suppressed a grin as she realized two things. One, Maria Ross was an upstanding woman with unshakable values. Two, Ross was just as fond as she was of The Brothers. 

When they came down, Eden was the first to appear in her line of sight. It looked like the trip back home did more than just give her a new arm, based on the serene, happy look she was given.

“Hey Hawkeye.” 

Hawkeye smiled. “Hello Eden.” 

Predictably, just behind Eden was Alphonse, with their armor all fixed up. “Hello Lieutenant." 

“Hello Alphonse.”  

Hawkeye could feel herself start to relax. Yes. Everything was good now. The brothers were back and in good health and- Was that a little girl running towards Eden? 

As soon as the child got close to Eden, She turned around with a smile and a fond voice. 

“Nina.” 

The little girl sped up and with a big leap and a grin, the girl launched herself into Eden's arms with a loud, “MAMA!”

Hawkeye had survived wars, been through hell and back, seen horrors beyond description, but she didn’t think she’d ever felt her blood freeze as it did as soon as that world left the little girl's mouth. Hawkeye stared at Eden, still holding the little girl, hoping that it was a mistake. Eden, her Eden, the 15 year old girl who had given up so much of her life already, say, “Hawkeye, this is my daughter, Nina.” 

Hawkeye had never wanted to shoot a man more.

****

When Hawkeye came back, solemn after meeting with the Elrics, Roy knew something was up. Hawkeye always returned with an air of happiness after meeting with the Elrics. So he pulled Hawkeye and Maes into his office, gave his team the orders to not let anyone near until further notice, and ordered her to tell him what was wrong. 

Hawkeye sighed and looked sadly at Roy, voice muted, “I was visiting the brothers….” she paused. 

“And?” Maes asked, concerned. 

“They had a little girl with them, and..” Hawkeye took a deep breath in before- “The little girl called Eden mama. Eden introduced her to me as her daughter.” 

Roy felt he was justified for falling out of his fucking chair. He pulled himself upright in a mess of limbs, he slammed his hands onto his desk and yelled, “WHAT?!” 

Maes leaned forward looking concerned, “How old was the child?” Hawkeye sighed, “I don't know, young? Probably your daughter's age or a little older.” 

Roy felt his heart drop. 

Did Fullmetal feel she had to hide pregnancy from them? Did she think they would shun her for it? He would rather sooner take his own arm off with a pen. 

He looked in the direction where the Elrics were staying, and wondered how he could ever right this wrong. 

****

Al knew that they had to go to command to give a report, but quite frankly, they were mainly looking forward to the team's reaction to Nina. 

They knew Nina would be in good hands with Brother, but it was still going to be hilarious. As they walked up to command with the five year old holding Brother's hand, Al silently wondered if Jean would choke on his cigarette. Maybe it would finally stop him from smoking the damn things. Brother hated them. 

As they entered, Jean shouted “Hey Boss and Al are back!” 

Everyone paused in their paperwork, eager to see for themselves that they had recovered. As one, they immediately clocked the 5 year old. Al would have grinned if they’d had working facial expressions. It was about to get good. 

“Who's the kid, boss?” Furey asked.

Brother swung down to pick up Nina, who was giggling the whole time, and turned to them all “This is Nina.” 

Nina, (and Al may have to buy her ice cream for this) giggled, “Mama, why are these people calling you boss?” 

Fuery looked shell shocked. Jean (unfortunately) didn’t choke on his cigarette, but it was lighting the carpet on fire where it had fallen from his slack jawed mouth. Falman looked to be running through their memory with a disbelieving look on their face. Breda looked like Hawkeye had just cocked her rifle. 

Al couldn’t wait for Mutangs reaction. 

****

Roy had tried to steel himself mentally for when Fullmetal would walk through the door, but it still was a shock to watch her walk in with a five year old. Maes and Hawkeye sat beside him, so Roy elected to start by playing dumb. “Who's the kid Fullmetal?” 

Fullmetal opened her mouth only for the girl to interrupt, “Mama, why’re all of these people calling you funny names?” 

Roy stiffened. 

He didn’t think Hawkeye would exaggerate this, but he’d hoped she was wrong. He noticed Maes and Hawkeye both had somber looks on their faces. 

Fullmetal hushed her and continued, “This is Nina.” 

Nina waved her hands before stating, “Hi! I’m FIVE and I love my Mama and my Big Brother Al!” 

Roy felt the tension melt from his shoulders, and watched as Hawkeye’s seemed to do the same. Five years old. Thank god. Fullmetal had her first period when she was 12, so the timelines don’t match up for her to be hiding a pregnancy. 

Maes, looking confused for some reason, spoke up, “Hang on. Nina? Like in the note?” 

Fullmetal nodded.

“You found a way to reverse chimerism!?” 

Fullmetal interjected, “Well- Not exactly …” 

And then Fullmetal took off the hat the little girl was wearing to reveal two shiny white dog ears attached to the girl's head.

Roy felt perfectly justified for falling out of his chair again.

Chapter Text

Maes was worried about Ed. She already had so much on her plate, what with having trouble with people respecting her gender, and trying to get her and Al’s bodies back. To add raising a 5 year old onto that- Maes was getting worried. In the note, Ed asked Maes to stop looking into Laboratory 5, citing that she had a bad feeling about it. 

Normally, Maes would’ve discarded that, but this time he had a feeling she was probably right. Besides, this new Homunculus lead was looking more promising. He didn’t need to try his luck. 

As he was about to leave, he paused and turned to Hawkeye, “Would you walk me home tonight? I have some theories best kept away from prying ears.” 

Hawkeye raised an eyebrow, but nodded. 

He didn’t realize until much, much later, that those tiny decisions saved his life. 

****

Paninya thought these tourists would be her next schmucks, however when she went to reach into the bright red coat, she wasn’t expecting a little girl to almost bite her hand growling. As the group turned to attention of the commotion, Paninya knew she had to run. She heard a 

“HEY-” And then they gave chase. 

These guys were fast, faster than her even. It wasn’t long before she was cornered by an armored individual, the short teen wearing the red coat, and the feral little girl. In her last ditch effort to escape, she revealed her trump card (her legs) and ditched them. Paninya had been ready to chalk it up to a failed pickpocketing, until someone grabbed her. 

Twisting to see who had caught her, Paninya saw the prettiest girl she’d ever seen. The fact that she was restraining her, and yelling at her to show off her legs, did nothing to deter this fact. 

****

Paninya hadn’t been expecting the two brothers and the little girl to marvel at Satella’s very pregnant belly, and yet it was happening right in front of her. The shorter one- Ed, she thought- in contrast to their original loudness, was softly asking questions and answering questions the little girl seemed to be asking. The one in armor (Al?) was checking to see if Satella needed anything, and asking how far along she was. 

Paninya looked away from them to gaze at the pretty girl- Winry, as she learned, and started talking. “Soo…How do you know those three?”

Paninya wanted to smack herself in the face. Seriously? A very pretty, very smart girl was standing in front of her, and this was what she asked?

Winry, not even looking up from her examination, replied. “I’ve known the brothers since we were all little. Nina’s a new development. Ed’s always been very loud about how she feels, but polite. Al is the mean one, she’s always schemin-”

Ed banged open a door, interrupting Winry, and shouted, “THE BABY IS COMING!!!” 

Winry glanced up from her examination, “Do you think you’ll need help Ed?” 

“Probably! The baby’s coming fast!” 

Paninya interrupted them, “Wait- you know how to deliver a baby?” 

Ed nodded their head, “Yup! C’mon Winry!” 

As Paninya sat with Al and Nina outside, she overheard their conversation. “Big Brother Al, what’s happening?” 

“Well, Nina, there is one thing that science can not even hope to replicate. The act of giving life.” 

“Is that why Mama’s in there?” 

The armor nodded. “Yes. There is nothing Brother loves more than life. It’s the one thing no one can make with alchemy. It fascinated her, so she learned everything she could on how to bring it into the world.” 

Nina looked at where Ed had emerged from the door, carefully handing off the baby to Dominic, and said, “Mama’s pretty great isn’t she?” 

“Yeah,” Al said. “She is.”

****

When Izumi had gotten the call earlier this week that her kids the brothers were finally visiting, she had excitedly told her husband, and prepared the ingredients for their favorite stew. Sig was also happy, judging by the way he deep cleaned their the guest room for them. 

FInally, she heard a knock on the door, and hurried to open it up as quickly as her legs could take her. Ed was there, smiling up at her, and-

Holding a little girl with a hat? 

Izumi raised an eyebrow, and gestured for them to come inside.

“Explain yourself.” 

Apparently, the little girl was Ed’s new daughter. Some asshole had decided to play god with his own child, and turned the girl into a chimera. Ed had fixed it, and ended up with a stray. 

Izumi blinked and turned to Nina, “Well then- do you like stew?”

****

The answer was yes, judging by the sheer volume of stew that landed on Nina’s face as she ate. Every so often, Ed would stop eating to clean Nina’s face absently, before tucking right back in. Al couldn’t eat but seemed to enjoy having a bowl of soup in front of them.

Izumi took a sip of her water, turned to Ed and asked, “So. When were you going to tell me I was a grandmother?” 

Ed choked on their stew, barely managed a, “What?” and choked again. 

“You heard me.” She crossed her arms. “When were you going to tell me and Sig that we were now Grandparents?” 

Ed looked at Sig, who nodded along with her, in dismay.

Al stepped in, seeing that their brother was not bouncing back. “This is a relatively new thing, Teacher. We figured if we just told you over the phone that you’d kill us.”  

And- Izumi couldn’t argue with that. She would’ve killed them if she received such big news over the phone. 

So, instead of arguing with them, she pointed upstairs. “Go to your room.”

Ed briefly looked like they were gonna argue, but thought better of it. Good. 

****

As she and Sig headed for bed that night, they peaked through a crack in the door to the brother’s room. Ed was singing one of the lullabies Izumi had once sung for them, softly petting Nina's hair. Ed seemed to glow with love- and Sig gently pulled her away. 

Gentle concern laced his voice when he whispered, “You're crying, my love.” 

Throat tight, picturing the scene from before, Izumi whispered back, “Ed and Al are all grown up now.” She smiled shakily. “Our kids made it.” 

Sig replied with a sad smile of his own, “Of course they did. They get their strength from their mother.”

Chapter Text

When Al got that note that someone knew their secret and wanted to meet them alone, they knew it was a trap. Still, Al hadn’t wanted to worry Brother. She was already so busy caring for them and Nina, and they didn’t want to impose. When Al got to the area specified, and was met with some guy suggesting that they leave Brother and Nina to go with him, Al felt justified for smacking him upside the head. The others seemed ready to fight them too, until a cry called out-

“BIG BROTHER AL!” And oh Truth, Brother was going to kill them-

Al had forgotten to check if Nina had followed.

****

Dolcetto had been anticipating some backlash from the armored Elric brother. The smack that hit him, although harder than he would’ve liked, was to be expected. What was not, however, was the little girl following the Elric. 

The little girl called them ‘Big Brother Al’ of all things, and leapt into their arms. Then he finally caught her scent and-

Oh.

OH SHIT-

The little girl was a chimera. A dog chimera no less! What the fuck was a pup doing out here?! Who had decided ‘Hey, I think a 5 year old would be a good test subject.’

The pup, oblivious to their new dilemma, continued on, “Big Brother Al, you know you're supposed to tell Mama where you're going. You could’ve gotten in trouble!” 

Dolcetto looked over to Martel, who was mouthing ‘Mama?’ to an equally confused Roa. He only clued back into the conversation to hear 

“Yes, well- I didn’t want to bother Brother, Nina.” 

The pup (Nina?) giggled. “Don’t be silly Big Brother! Mama loves us more than anything ! Now, let’s go back before Mama gets worried and brings Grandma to come find us!” 

The Elric (Al?) stiffened, “Who taught you to call Teacher that?!” 

“She did.” 

Martel, sensing an opportunity, stepped forward. 

“Actually Elrics, you’ll be coming with us.” Al tried to reply, but Martel continued “We wouldn’t want to get Nina involved in this would we?” 

Alarmed, they turned to Nina, “Sorry Nina, these guys are jerks, so we have to go with them.” 

Nina seemed appalled at Al's wording and gasped, “I’m telling Mama you said that!”

****

When Greed saw that his Friends Minions came back with the armored Elric brother he was very pleased. He was less pleased about the random five year old. She was not part of the plan. He turned to Dolcetto slowly and raised a single eyebrow. 

“Look, the pup just showed up ok?!”

“Pup?” Greed asked, momentarily distracted. He turned to the little girl who did not seem to grasp that she had been kidnapped. She was wearing a hat and a long dress, but Greed couldn’t see any reason to call the kid pup. 

She turned to Greed and smiled, “Hi! My name is Nina! I like your vest!” 

Greed grinned back. (See Dolcetto? This was a good fashion choice.) “Thanks kid, the name’s Greed. What’s up with the hat?” 

Nina turned to glance at the Elric who responded with “They already know my secret Nina.” 

Nina read this as some sort of confirmation and took of her hat to revel-

Two fluffy white dog ears firmly attached to her head. 

Martel and Roa made strangled choking noises, like it physically pained them to see a little girl had gone through the same things they had. Greed wasn’t sure he had a stomach but he was close to losing it with the implications. 

Fumbling to hide his reaction, Greed asked, “Oh.. Who did that?” 

Nina smiled in reply, “Daddy did. Mama says he was a bad man. I used to hurt a lot, all the time. It’s okay though! Big Brother Al and Mama fixed me!” 

Greed had never wanted to kill a man more. 

****

Ed was pissed . Someone had kidnaped Al and Nina, and this weird little lizard man was going to give them information or end up in a hospital . Ed grinned a little meanly as they got it. They shouted a brief update to Teacher and ran out the door, making sure to leave the broom where she liked it. 

Ed slammed the door to the bar open to see their family... on a couch? Someone in a sick leather vest and pants came up to them. 

“You must be the Fullmetal Alchemist, call me Greed. Now, tell you what, if you tell me how you did your brother's seal, and I’ll give them back.” 

Ed scowled, at Greed, “Here I was, about to ask where you got the sick vest, and then you had to go and threaten my fucking family.”

Greed ignored them to shout, “SEE DOLCETTO? TWO PEOPLE THINK ITS COOL!!” 

The presumed Dolcetto flipped off Greed. As they turned back around, they caught Ed’s punch to the jaw. Greed prepared a fighting stance and Nina shouted- “GET HIM MAMA!” 

Then two things happened very abruptly.

1. Ed shouted at Al “DID YOU TELL HER IT’S OK TO CALL PEOPLE THAT?!” 
2. Greed cried, “WAIT YOU’RE A WOMAN?!”

Pandemonium erupted. 

****

In the end, they all made it back to Teacher’s place. Ed led their bedtime routine. Ed worked their hands over Al’s armor. Their brother had gotten a lot of scratches from the day’s little misadventure, and she deserved to be in pristine condition. As Ed worked, they could tell Al had something she wanted to ask. 

“C’mon Al, spit it out.” 

Al hesitated, “I- After the fight- I remembered. About the gate I mean. Was yours.. that bad?” 

Ed crumpled to the floor beside Al.

They whispered, “I’m so, so, sorry. I would’ve preferred that you never had to remember that.” 

Al couldn’t do anything but pull Ed into a hug, and it wasn’t long before a sleepy Nina joined them.

Chapter Text

Al knew Brother had actually tried to keep her automail intact this time (Likely to avoid another concussion from Winry), but their fight had still caused minor damages, so back to Rush Valley they went. Not, however, before Teacher and her husband could give Nina a bag of candy. 

On the train, Al noticed that Brother was changing into a dress. 

Nina excitedly exclaimed, “Mama! You look so strong and pretty in that dress!” 

Al, sensing the opportunity to get Brother to treat herself better, joined in. “Nina’s right, Brother. You deserve to wear that dress.” 

Brother, face now thoroughly red, sputtered out, “I don’t! I just..” She paused. “Gracia gave me these dresses to wear. I don’t want to insult her or Maes by not wearing them. Besides-” She looked out the window, “I have a feeling that I should wear one today.” 

When they got to Winry, Al was right about her not being happy, but she did seem pleased that Brother had been doing the proper maintenance on her arm. 

“Oh!” Winry exclaimed. “Paninya decided to stop pickpocketing! And-” her face went a little red, “We went on a date!” 

Brother smiled, “Congratulations Winry! Are you going to be the husband or is she?” 

Winry hummed contemplating, “We’re still deciding on that actually, Paninya grew up on the streets, so she doesn't know proper manners like we do. She thought Sir was a respectful term, can you believe it?! So we’re working on that right now.” 

Winry made Brother hang out in the workshop so she could swap her a temporary arm, before sending everyone out. The three of them shrugged and decided to go for a walk. As they passed an alley, Nina seemed to notice something. Al went to investigate and paused when they found a person passed out on the ground.

Ed, slightly annoyed, turned to see why Al had stopped, “What’s this? Another stray? You guys know we can’t have pets-” 

Nina shook her head. “Mama, It’s a person.” 

Brother frowned, but walked over. 

She leaned obnoxiously over the person to ask, “Hey, uh- you. Are you okay?” 

The person looked up-

-And Al just knew this person was about to say something that would place them as a he. 

****

Ling Yao was hungry. Very, very hungry. Believe it or not, traveling across a desert was really draining. Still, it was worth it. He was determined to find the philosopher's stone. He would- 

He- 

Ling passed out.

As he faded back into consciousness, he overheard some sort of muted conversation. A tinny, almost metallic voice overlapped with the higher tones of a younger girl, but he couldn’t make out the words. Whoever it was started getting closer. Their footsteps sounded off, as though one foot always landed heavier than the other. Interesting.

-And then they were talking to him, asking if he was okay. Ling braced himself, and decided to look either his savior, or his demise, in the eyes. 

And his world exploded in gold.  

Before him, Ling swore he saw an angel. Their long, golden hair tied into a braid, fell perfectly past their face. Intelligent golden eyes sparked, even their skin was a perfect golden tan. It was like a statue had come to life in front of him. A beautiful red dress fell from their figure, like they knew that they deserved to be royalty. This, Ling deliriously thought, was someone who was smart, and deeply loyal. 

The golden beings' perfect brow furrowed in concern at his lack of answer, snapping their (Metal?) hand in Ling’s face. 

“Hellllo? Anyone home? Do you need help? Shit. You're from Xing aren’t you? Do you even speak Amerstrian?” 

And- yes. Ling spoke it, but his brain was fuzzy and all he could think was that even the freckles lining their face were gold .

In the end, he barely managed to mumble, “Pretty…” 

They blinked at him, expression rearranging itself into confusion as they slowly turned a wonderful shade of red. “I- What?” 

“Pr- pretty.. ngh- …wife…food.” And then the fuzziness fully overtook his brain. However, as he passed out, he got a glimpse of their face turning as red as the dress.

**** 

Ling bolted back awake to the smell of amazing food. In front of him was probably the best looking (and smelling) meal he'd seen since he left Xing. Even better, he detected no poisons in it. Ling pounced on it immediately,  only pausing to look around after he had finished the bowl. They were in a workshop of some sort, near a pot. Around the room sat a giant in full armor, a little girl in a sun hat, and- his eyes landed on the golden being again, and he felt his face flush. 

They were even prettier now, dishing out food that, from the look of things, they had made for him . They dished him another portion, then made two more plates. One for the girl, and another for themselves. Curiously, they left out the giant. 

The girl began eating, and they turned to him, “Looks like you're feeling better now. That's good! You were concerning a lot of people with the way you passed out in that alley and all.” 

The little girl piped up, “Mama, only you and I were worried.” 

The Golden Lady(?) flushed, “Hush Nina, eat your food.” 

The giant broke in, “ He would’ve been fine, Brother.” 

The Golden lady scowled and turned to the armor and said, “ Maybe I wanted to help her.”  

Ling decided to break the tension, “My name is Ling Yao, I’m the 12th crown prince of Xing. Thank you for saving me.” 

The giant immediately cut in, “My name is Alphonse. This is my brother and I love her very much .” 

Ling, deciding to ignore the barely concealed threat, turned to the golden lady. “My name is Ed, short for Eden, and I’m a State Alchemist.” 

The little girl burst in, “HIIII! My name is Nina! This is my Mama! I just found her AND she's the bestest-” Ed’s features softened- “And that’s my Big Brother Al!” 

Ling would’ve loved to chat longer, but the sooner he becomes emperor, the sooner he can help his people. (And do his just-now second life goal of marrying Ed.) So he had to ask, “An alchemist huh? Do you know about the philosopher's stone?” 

****

Ling sat with Nina as he watched his bodyguards fight, just conversing. 

“So what do you know about Ed?” 

Nina beamed, and if she had a tail, Ling swore it would be going a mile a minute. “I know lots of stuff about Mama! Mama found me a couple of months ago-” Good, no father to compete with when he adopts this child, “- And she’s the best! She loves red-” Excellent, red was a royal color- “She’s REALLLLY smart too!” -So she does know how to get the philosopher's stone, then. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was getting here. 

“Oh?” Ling said, urging the child to continue. 

“Yeah! Oh! And Mama’s favoritest thing ever is life! She loves helping it, and- and creating it! She says one day, she’s going to make it!” Oh? 

This woman really was perfect.

Chapter Text

Ling was having the time of his life right now. Sitting in the Elrics room, across from Ed (still pretty, if you were wondering) and learning about the stone. The mood was slightly dampened when he learned that the stones are made of people, but he digresses. 

When room service finally came, he grabbed the ingredients for Ed to make some more delicious food, with a “Thank you sir.” 

When he turned around, he expected a slightly exasperated Ed who would have a scowl on her face, but still make him food anyway. He wanted to watch longingly as she made a meal, her face painted in the warmth of the fire, and then Nina, his soon to be daughter- 

Sorry. This was to say, he was not expecting Ed to look scandalized, Nina to look shocked, as if he had just cursed, or Al to look, well, it’s kind of hard to tell actually. 

“What the fuck is your problem calling the worker that?!” Ed semi-yelled.

Ling blinked “What do you mean?” 

Ed rubbed her temples, “Right- ok, you’ve never been to Amestris before right?” 

Ling shook his head. 

Ed sighed and continued, “We do things differently here. For one, Calling someone He/Him, is a blatant insult.” 

Ling was confused. “But aren’t pronouns referring to your sex?” 

Ed quickly shook her head, golden hair almost spilling out of her braid. “What? NO!” 

“But I had royal tutors…” Ling trailed off. 

“How would you even tell? Would you go around trying to figure out what’s in everyone's pants?! Isn’t that super fucking creepy?!” 

Ling thought it over. “Huh. That IS kind of weird now that you mention it.”

Ed nodded, relieved. “See?! Now let me teach you manners , you rat. We can’t have you insulting everyone.” 

Ling listened intently to Ed, who explained things, interspersed with helpful quips from her family. Apparently, in this country, pronouns were a respect thing. She was at the top, they were in the middle, and he was at the bottom. A mother/wife was the stronger partner/parent, and the father/husband tends to be weaker, or more willing to go along with what the other wants. On top of this, dresses were a mark of station, stating you deserve the best. Similar to Xing, long hair was a way to show off that you could take care of things well. Short was seen as a compliment for a lot of people, because most she/hers were shorter, making it more impressive when they took down their enemies. Brother was a sacred title for siblings. Sister was a title for any two she/hers to refer to the other. 

Ling gathered this information patiently, noting it down. By the end, he had only one thought in his mind-

“WAIT! WAS AL INSULTING ME THIS ENTIRE TIME?!” 

Al turned, looked him dead in the eye and said, “Good to see that your brain wasn’t completely dried up by the desert sun.” 

****

Much like her prince, Lan Fan had never been to the West before, so any lessons to be gained about life here were good to know. However, the more the Elrics said, the less inclined she was to believe them. There was just no way any country would have the only way to refer to others be by how much you respect them. She was like, 85% sure. 

It made no sense! 

Lan turned to Alphonse, hoping this was some elaborate joke. “There's no way that’s how things work here, right?” 

Alphonse ignored her growing desperation. “One of us is a native speaker. It sure isn’t you.” 

And- Lan Fan couldn’t argue with that. She only knew the language because her prince and Grandpa had been kind enough to teach her. 

Now panicking, Lan turned to her grandfather. He was a voice of reason. He’d been to Amestris, he could tell the Elrics off! 

“Grandpa! He’s lying, right?! They don’t actually do things like that here right?” 

To her utter dismay, all Grandpa said was “ They . Lan. They are right. Didn’t you just hear them?” 

****

Fu knew for a fact that this was not how things were done in Amestris. However, the opportunity to mess with Lan and the prince was just too good to pass up. A little white lie wouldn’t hurt anyone. 

Besides, Fu mused, looking at a clearly smitten prince, the prince probably wouldn’t even listen to him.

****

Nina liked the new people! They were so silly! She didn’t understand why Big Brother Al was insulting the nice princess so much. She thought they were Great! 

While Mama was talking to Big Brother, Nina snuck up to Ling and yelled “BOO!” 

They exclaimed, “OH NO! YOU’VE CAUGHT ME!” Before falling dramatically onto the couch. 

Nina giggled. See Big Brother? Nice. 

Ling smiled at her, “What did you want Nina?” 

Nina giggled again, leaning in to tell Ling the secret she figured out. 

“You like Mama don’t you?” 

Ling opened her eyes, (Wow! She didn’t even know Ling could DO that!) and blinked quickly, face turning pink. “Who told you that?” 

“No one did, silly! You look at Mama like Grandma and Grandpa did.” 

Ling smiled and said, “Yeah, I do.” 

Nina nodded. “Good. Mama’s pretty great after all. Don’t tell her I said this but-” Ling leaned in closer, “I think Mama thinks you're cute.” 

Nina didn’t know why Ling started acting like she won the lottery, and Ling's friends also seem pretty confused as well. Ling just giddily walked towards her confused friends. Well. Except the Grandpa, they must’ve had a wife. 

****

Ling was ecstatic . 

She thought he was CUTE!!!!

He wondered what they should name their second child? Oh- Wait! She loved life and planned to have kids. She probably has a name picked out! That's ok, he can always name the next-

Chapter Text

Al wasn’t too happy that Ling decided to follow them back to Central. In fact, they were fucking pissed. First, this guy shows up and pretty- fucking-much proposes to Brother. Then, he makes Brother fight his bodyguards because she wouldn't tell him about the philosopher’s stone, and NOW HE WAS WITH THEM ON A TRAIN BACK TO CENTRAL.

Al momentarily snapped back into reality to see how everyone was doing. Nina was sitting in Brother’s lap as she explained how plants worked. 

“So, seeds are like eggs?” Nina tilted her head. 

Brother chuckled, “Sort of. Seeds need water to grow. Eggs already have water.” 

Nina considered this before jumping back into her line of questioning. Brother pulled out a piece of paper and crayons and helped guide Nina with drawing a plant life cycle. 

Al looked over at Winry who appeared to be writing a letter to Paninya in Rush Valley. The big giveaway was that occasionally Winry would look out the window and sigh deeply and her face would turn pink. 

More gratingly, Al could hear Lan Fan and Fu spying on them, which was to be expected because he was here.

Ling was sitting there, watching Brother and Nina with a fond look on his face, occasionally sighing like some lovesick fool. Like he couldn’t even feel how much Al hated him. All he seemed concerned with was looking at Al’s family like he wanted to be a part of it. Did he even know how much Brother sacrificed for them? That Ed had given an arm to save Al? That Ed pretty much single handedly raised Al and was now raising Nina? 

No. 

Ling was oblivious to just how amazing Brother was, how amazing she deserved to be treated. Brother deserved someone who wouldn’t make her fight his bodyguards because she wouldn’t answer a question. Brother deserved someone who knows how much she loves people, how compassionate she was. How much she is compassion itself. Ling did not appreciate the depths of Brother's devotion to humanity, and therefore did not deserve to be part of it.

Al wondered how hard it would be to convince Hawkeye that Ling should be kept far, far away from Brother. 

****

For once, Roy Mustang was happy to run into the Elrics. It wasn’t that they were bad kids, they were (generally) well behaved, but they could be a lot. Today, he didn’t care. He had heard they had been involved in a fight, and despite everything, he had worried about them. Finally,  they were in front of him, and he could tell the traitorous part of him that it could be quiet. They were fine.  

He tuned back into Fullmetal’s report. 

“- And so we won against that asshole- Oh! I remembered something. We ran into a person who we helped-” 

Why did Roy feel like he wasn’t going to like this? 

“-And I think she proposed to me? It’s kinda weird, but it could’ve been because she was starving-” 

Roy felt his world crumble as he walked right into a wall- 

“WHAT?!”

****

Hawkeye was going to kill this Ling kid. 

….The moment she figured out who he actually was.

****

Maria Ross had heard the kids were back in Central, so she wasn’t shocked to run into them. She was pleased to see that they seemed to remember her fondly, and that they remembered to call her by her first name like she asked. 

“Maria!” All three chimed. 

Ed walked up first, “It’s pretty great seeing you again!” 

“It’s good to see you too Ed. Everyone else doing alright?”  

“Yup! Hey we gotta get going, we’ll see you later though.” 

Maria nodded, “Alright, but feel free to call me should you need anything ok?” 

Ed waved her off good naturedly as she walked away. Maria smiled fondly. 

She wondered if this counted for a point in her favor for those adoption papers she had yet to use. 

****

Winry was excited to meet the Hughes family. If Ed’s praise was correct, they were lovely people. However, when she got there, the house seemed eerily still. 

Ed knocked on the door, but there was no answer. Ed furrowed her brow and rose her hand again only for the door to creek open. Ed stepped in, concerned, looked around. 

She turned to Winry, Al and Nina whispering, “The house is empty.” 

Winry was about to smart back with something like ‘ Obviously dumbass, no one came to the door- ’ but the way Ed said it, with such finality, like the house had never been empty made her pause.

Al stepped forward, “Empty?” 

Ed nodded, “As empty as our old house used to be.”

As they were looking for clues in the house, a voice came over the radio Nina had turned on to keep herself entertained. “Maria Ross has been arrested for the disappearance of the Hughes family on-” 

Ed paused,hearing the date. 

Under her breath Ed whispered, “She couldn’t have done that. She was with us that day.”Ed turned to Al, “We have to get her out of there.” 

Al started grabbing stuff and preparing, and Ed knelt down to Nina and said, “Hey Nina, remember that nice lady Maria?”

Nina nodded. 

“We have to go help her so you need to stay with Winry at the hotel. We’ll be back okay?” 

Winry, confused and holding a squirming 5 year old, wondered what the hell she had gotten herself into. 

****

Ed had never hated Colonel Mustang more than now. Maria was innocent. She was innocent, and he had just killed her. Ed shook with rage, sitting next to Al in that alley for an age. Eventually it drained out of them and all that was left was a quiet sadness. All Ed and Al  could do was walk back to the hotel, hand in hand, as Ed quietly hummed the song Mom sang the night she died. 

When they got to the hotel, Nina (who must've smelt them) met them in the lobby. Ed’s little girl bounded up to them. “Mama, What happened?” 

Ed crumpled onto the couch, and delicately wrapped Nina in her arms. “Something bad, Nina.” 

“Oh,” Nina said. “It’s okay Mama, Miss Maria knew how much you cherished her.” 

Ed choked, “I love you Nina.” 

“I know Mama. I love you too.”

Chapter Text

Nina sometimes wondered if everyone forgot that she could hear really well. Like now, for example. She was waiting in the hotel room with Winry, when she overheard the nice Armstrong lady telling Mama that they needed to go get her automail fixed. But that was silly! Winry was right here! 

Nina made sure Winry was busy with something else, and grabbed a pillow case. She carefully packed her favorite dress, bow, and toy away and then tied it up. She considered leaving immediately, but remembered that Mama always left a note to others when they had to leave. 

After finishing the note and leaving it on her bed, Nina quietly climbed down the fire escape following Mama’s scent. 

Hold on Mama! Nina’s coming!

****

Armstrong hated to separate the Young Elrics, but it was of utmost importance for their safety. When they reached a sufficient distance away from the hotel, Armstrong finally started telling Young Eden what was going on. 

“-And that leads us to now, Young Eden.”  

Young Eden frowned, “Wait. What about Nina?” 

Armstrong wanted to cry. Such strong bonds the Young Elrics shared! 

“It is for the safety of Young Nina that she does not join us.” 

Young Eden nodded sadly and her silence hung sullenly in the air between them.

….That was of course, until they heard the distinct sound of a little girl running to catch up with them.

“MAMAAAAA!!” 

Young Eden turned to see where the sound was coming from, and barely having time to open her arms to catch the young girl who dove into them. “NINA?!” Looking pleasantly shocked, Young Eden exclaimed, “What are you doing here?” 

Young Nina took a brief pause from rubbing her face into Young Eden's chest to look up at her mother, “I heard the nice Armstrong lady say that they were taking you to Winry to get your automail fixed, but that's silly! Winry’s back at the hotel. So I followed your scent here!” 

Young Eden blinked, confused, looking at Armstrong then back at her daughter. “....Did you at least leave a note?” 

“Yup!”

****

Al walked back into the hotel room to see Winry practically tearing the place apart. 

“What happened?” Al asked, casually dodging the pillow Winry threw out of her way. 

“I CAN’T FIND NINA!” Winry exclaimed. 

That got Al to move pretty quick. In the middle of tearing apart the room, Al found a note on the bed. 

“Winry, look. I found a note.” 

Winry leaned over to read the note over Al’s shoulder. 

Dear Big Brother Al and Winry,

I heard the nice strong lady saying Mama needed her automei arm fixed. But Winry was with me! So I’m gonna go out and find Mama!

Love,

Nina

Al, separated from Brother and Nina, wondered how this day could get any worse.

Then Ling showed up to the window.

****

In Resembol, Ed knew that their journey was just beginning. She made sure Nina was in a well ventilated dress, and that her hat would cover her as they began the horseback journey.

By the time they reached the ruins of Xerxes, Ed felt like their automail was melting into their skin, and Nina was barely faring any better. They were both intensely glad for the pool of water large enough for them to wade in, relieved at the chance to cool down. 

After a while, they both climbed out and got dressed. Thankfully, everyone had turned around to give Ed and Nina some privacy before it was back to business. 

Fu and Ed began to converse about Xerxes, Nina breaking in every so often with questions. When Fu began to describe The Traveler from the West however, Nina got really interested. 

“- And the Traveler is said to be made of gold, but that is probably just-”

“Like Mama?” Nina interrupted. 

Fu raised one of their eyebrows, “What do you mean Nina?”

Nina climbed into Ed’s arms and held up their braid. “Mama’s made of gold, see? Even her eyes and skin are gold.”  

Fu looked like they were realizing something important, but this was quickly overshadowed because someone who sounded a lot like Maria spoke up. 

“How are you two kids doing?” 

Ed was pretty sure they were justified for hugging Maria and crying. 

And for doing the same thing when the Hughes family showed up. 

Ed wondered how Al was doing.

****

Al was NOT having a good time. They were in the middle of a fight with a homunculus named Lust and he was being the BIGGEST asshole.  Al kind of wanted to leave, but- 

Al didn’t want to let any others die for their sake. Brother refused to, and Al wouldn’t either. Al just wished Brother was here now so that Al would know what to do. Brother was the one who didn’t want any of her enemies to die, that was just how Brother was. Al was less merciful, but they didn’t want Hawkeye or the others to die because of Lust.

Frustrated, Al yelled, “TRUTH, WHEN IS THIS GUY GONNA STOP?! HE’S BEING AN ASSHOLE.” 

Fighting paused for a moment and Lust said, “Are.. they referring to.. me?”

****

Nina was sad to say goodbye to the Hughes family and Miss Maria, but she knew Mama wouldn’t let them leave if it wasn’t for the best. Mama gave Maes a tight hug, and Nina wondered if Mama would be able to hug them again when the danger was over. That’d be nice, Mama deserved more hugs. 

Back at Granny’s house, Mama asked if Nina would still be up for visiting Mama’s mom. Nina, of course, said yes. 

As she and Mama walked up to visit, Nina noticed someone else was there. Someone Mama Didn’t Like. Nina wasn’t sure she liked them either, with how they talked to Mama’s mom, like she had failed at something. It wasn’t her fault she’s gone!

Nina fully decided she hated this man when he said Mama’s full name like how Daddy had once said hers. Like it was a burden.

****

Hohenheim was feeling several things right now. Firstly, sadness. Trisha was dead. However, what overtook him when he saw his little girl standing there, so much more grown then when he last saw her, was dread and love. 

He loved his children. Really, he did. But he dreaded to think how they felt about him. He didn't expect them to understand, but even if he explained himself, he doubted Eden would let him off the hook. He was so tired.

“Eden. Where is my-” Hohenheim was interrupted by a low growl. 

Finally, he noticed the little girl with dog ears, growling at Eden’s feet and looking at him like he killed someone in front of her. Eden’s Face wasn’t much better, a mixture of hatred, anger, and disgust. 

“...Who is this?” Hohenheim tried. 

“Nobody you would care about.” Eden snapped. 

Hohenheim frowned and stepped forward. “Eden, I’m your fath-” 

The dog chimera clung closer to Eden and barked, “STAY AWAY FROM MAMA!”

Oh. 

Hohenheim was prepared for a lot of things, but he wasn’t expecting this. He kind of wanted to choke. His little girl had a little girl of her own, and he hadn’t even been there to see it, or hold his granddaughter. 

Chapter Text

Hohenheim followed Eden and his granddaughter back to the Rockbell’s house, being either ignored or yelled at to leave them alone the entire time. By the time they actually got there, Eden and his granddaughter went to bed, and promptly slammed the door on his face before he could even wish them goodnight. Deciding to let them cool off, he talked to Pinako for a little while. 

Well, he talked. Pinako scowled at him disapprovingly the whole time.  

As they spoke, he began to hear quiet singing. His surprise must have shown in his face, because Pinako scowled even harder. 

“Don’t look so surprised , old fool. Ed sings Nina and Al to sleep every night.” 

Deciding to ignore the obvious dig, he listened quietly, and snuck closer. When he reached the crack in their door, he saw Eden carefully brushing Nina's hair like Trisha had once brushed hers. She was even singing the same song. 

For all that she reminded him of himself, Hohenheim could admit, if only to himself and the souls inside of him, Eden had her mothers heart. 

He waited until he was sure they were asleep before he went in. He raised his hand, considering petting Eden on her head, like when she was a child-

Only to feel a stinging pain. 

His granddaughter had bitten him, and was now quietly growling, as if trying not to wake Eden. 

“Leave Mama alone. You hurt Mama!”  

Hohenheim retreated and closed the door.

****

Pinako had overheard the kerfuffle from downstairs, and she knew that the old fool was going to come with some questions. So, when the sad man of the hour finally came downstairs Pinako was prepared. 

“Pinako…” The old fool began. “What’s my granddaughters name?”

Pinako was expecting questions, but that being his first made her old blood boil. “Your daughter is raising a five year old, and that's the question you have?” 

He paused before- “I mean… neither of them were going to tell me-”

Pinako didn’t even realize she had a wrench in her hand until it hit him dead between the eyes. 

“YOUR FIFTEEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS RAISING A FIVE YEAR OLD AND THAT IS YOUR FIRST QUESTION?!” 

The idiot blinked. “...I could've sworn she was 14.” 

“THAT’S AL! YOUR OTHER CHILD THAT YOU ABANDONED.” 

“...So she’s five then.” The walking fossil said. 

Pinako was seriously considering retrieving her gun and shooting him with it. “Ed raised Al and is now raising Nina, and you don’t even care. Your 15 year old that you walked out on almost a decade ago, is raising someone only 10 years younger than her, and all you're concerned about is the fact that you don’t have a name. ” 

This seemed to finally start getting through the fool’s thick skull. 

“..Eden should be smart enough to know what she’s getting into-” 

“SHE'S FIFTEEN FOR GOD'S SAKES. SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO RAISE A CHILD BY HERSELF. SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE HAD TO RAISE ONE ONLY 2 YEARS YOUNGER THAN HER AT AGE EIGHT EITHER. I TRIED TO HELP THE BEST I COULD THEN, JUST AS I AM DOING NOW. WHERE WERE YOU?” 

The old, stupid, moronic, idiot could only mumble, “Busy.” 

****

Ed stood by the barely open door, listening. Gone. He was gone for almost a decade and all he could say was busy? He was too busy to come to his own wife’s funeral?! Ed had to remind themself to breathe, as to not blow their cover, and continued to listen to the conversation.

Ed sighed. They hoped Al was having a better time.

****

Al could tell Ling was staring at their blood rune after they had explained it. Al had expected something dumb to come out of his mouth. Still, nothing could have prepared Al for what he actually said.

“That sounds like immortality!” 

Al felt a hot rage course through their nonexistent veins. How dare he. How dare he mock their brother's sacrifice? How dare he sully Brothers' selfless act to save Al, dumb it down to such a commodity?! Brother gave an arm to save Al, and here he is, acting like Brother could just do it again.  

Al barely avoided shouting. “No. My very existence cost Brother a limb , and I’m not even guaranteed that much time. You need a proper vessel and a soul.” 

Ling, clearly not knowing when to quit, countered, “But you could easily transfer your soul to another body, no?” 

Al, now ready to kill the fool that claims to want to marry Brother, was only stopped by Winry yelling at Ling for being an insensitive prick. 

Al just hoped Brother came back with some good news.

****

Ed had just given Teacher the- well, not exactly good news. They’d told Teacher that she didn’t kill her baby, and while not great news, Ed hoped it would let Teacher and Sig sleep better at night. Those two deserved to sleep well. Ed would wait to tell Al and Nina the good news until they were in the same room. 

While they were on the train back to Central, Ed decided to continue Nina’s lessons. Based on the curriculum Ed had set up, it was time for the big one.

Ed carefully sat Nina onto their lap and delicately grabbed her hands to hold her palms up. 

“Nina.” Nina turned to look up at Ed but did not move her hands. “This is arguably the most important thing I will ever teach you. I will continue this lesson to you until the day I die or the day you can teach it to others.” 

Nina nodded seriously. “I’m ready Mama.” 

Ed felt her heart swell with adoration for her daughter, and wondered if her face showed Nina just how much she was loved. “I know. Now, look at your hands.” 

Nina whipped her head back to her hands and stared. 

“These hands,” Ed rubbed Nina’s small palms with her thumbs, “These hands will grow and change to do so many wonderful things, but the one thing your hands were never made for is to destroy.” 

Nina looked at Ed like they were some holy being that they weren’t. Ed hadn’t hung the stars, they couldn’t even save their brother. 

Ed continued, “Your hands were meant to help others Nina. You don’t need to help everyone, but you were made, just like everyone was, to help each other. Humans can’t do everything, but we have each other, alright?” Ed carefully brought up Nina’s hands and placed a kiss on each one before smiling down at her.  “You’re gonna be amazing Nina. You are going to be wonderful, and I can’t wait for everyone else to see how great you are. No matter what you do, I know you’ll be amazing. You wanna know why?” Nina nodded. 

“Because you're Nina. And just being you is enough.” 

****

Nina loved Mama. After the lesson, she wondered how one person could be as good as Mama was. Mama was not only a good Mama, taking care of her and Big Brother Al, but she was also so loving to everyone! Nina almost couldn’t understand it. 

Even though Mama had a Daddy like hers, she still cared so much for people. Mama believed people could do better and be better, even though she had seen her fair share of nastiness. Even though people were on the street insulting Mama daily by calling her a he, Mama still loved them.

Oh.

Nina got it now! Mama was love. Mama was compassion. (Big Brother Al taught her that word!) Nina snuggled closer to her Mama, the woman who hung the stars, who loved Nina and Big Brother Al so much, and fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Ed was happy to be back in Central. Not because they liked it there or anything, but they were getting worried about Al. Lan Fan stopped Ed in the lobby of the hotel. 

“Yeah, Lan?” 

She handed Ed a package and disappeared.

Ed blinked, looking down at Nina. “Do you think I could convince her to teach me that?” 

Nina giggled.

Ed entered the room where Al was staying, and felt their heart drop. 

Al- Al was in terrible shape. So much of her was missing or damaged.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!” Ed rushed over, putting Nina on the bed, and began to assess the damage. 

“Brother! I was getting worried about you! There was this homunculus named Lust and-” 

Ed interrupted Al, transfiguring her arm back into shape. “Is he still alive?” 

Al shook her head. “Nope! Colonel put a stop to him pretty quickly!” 

Ed sighed a breath of relief. “That's good. Now-” Ed grabbed Al’s head and brought it to their eye level. “NEVER PULL THAT SHIT AGAIN!”

Nina pipped in, “Yeah Big Brother! Never again!” 

Al, looking sufficiently shamed, mumbled, “I’ll stop when you do.” 

Ed snorted. They quickly greeted Winry, then delivered the good news. 

As they talked, Ed started to open the package (probably) Ling had sent. Al stopped talking but Ed continued. 

“-So that means your body is in the gate! This is great Al! That means we can get it back!” 

Al nodded. “Yeah, we can get your arm and leg back too.” 

Nina squealed in delight. “Does this mean Big Brother Al can eat again? We should make her some of your shepherd's pie Mama!” 

Ed smiled “Of course we will. I’m the one who put her in this mess, that's the least she deserves when she gets her body back.”  

“No, Brother.” Al immediately denied. “It was my choice to join you in bringing Mom back. After all the people who’ve been injured because of us… I don’t want my body if it means someone else will die.” 

Ed looked softly at Al. How could someone like them be blessed with a little brother like her? How could someone like Ed be blessed with Nina? Ed felt-

“Also Brother… I hate to interrupt this moment but what is that package?” Al asked. 

Ed looked down at the note written and Xingese and read it aloud for Nina and Al.

“Dear Eden and Nina.

I hope Lan Fan delivered this package well. I wanted you two to have these ribbons. I can’t give you more propper Xing courting gifts yet, but when I’m emperor I will empty the treasury if you wish it. To the lovely Eden, she who is so gold even the sun shies away, I offer you a red silk ribbon. I hope it will suit you nicely. To you, my dear Nina, my soon-to-be daughter, I gift the pink silk ribbon. It is the color of the youthfulness you wear so well.

Yours now and forever,

Ling

P.S I know Alphonse doesn't have hair, but they can have one too if they want.”

Eden finished reading the note, their face was aggressively flushed.

Nina held up her ribbon, asking Ed to braid it in. Al looked pissed .

“...When I said no one should die-” 

“We’re not killing Ling, Al.” 

****

Nina was feeling good. Mama had braided the ribbon Ling (Would she have to start calling Ling Papa? No, she wasn’t ready for that yet.) gave Nina into her hair, her Big Brother Al was in good shape, and Mama was happy. Only one thing could make this better. 

“Hey Mama?” 

Mama sat on the bed next to her. “Yes Nina?” 

“Could you teach me the Most Important Lesson again?”

Mama blinked, “The… Oh! Yes. Come here Nina.” 

Nina wiggled into Mama’s lap and stuck her palms up-

“Hello Ed!” 

Oh! That was Ling! 

“Ling!” 

“Hello Nina! What's Happening?” 

Nina beamed. Ling was gonna learn the lesson! “Lesson time!” 

Mama interrupted, “Idiot Prince, did you know there's this thing called a fucking door? Honestly-” 

“Is that the ribbon that I gave you?” 

Mama blushed and looked away, nodding. Oh! Now Ling was pink too!

Before Nina could dwell on that further, Mama continued. “A-anyway! Are you ready Nina?” 

Nina nodded “Yup! Everybody watch!” 

Big Brother Al moved closer, intrigued. 

Mama began. “These hands,” She rubbed Nina's hands. “These hands will grow and change….” 

As she listened, Nina looked at Mama, feeling even more love course through her. “....Humans can’t do everything, but we have each other.”

Mama looked away from Nina’s hands back down to Nina with the most loving look on her face. “You're amazing Nina. You're going to be wonderful. I can’t wait to see all the beautiful things I know you’ll do.” 

Nina beamed. Mama had done it again! She looked at Mama for a moment longer before a loud sob broke their concentration. Nina turned to see. Ling was sobbing. 

“Beautiful. So beautiful…” before it turned into a mumble in a language Nina didn’t understand. Mama’s face turned bright red. 

Big Brother Al nervously shifted closer. “Brother… Can I have a turn?” 

****

Al was so happy. Even though they just had the second worst day of their life, and Ling started trying to court Brother- (Seriously Brother? He hasn’t even given you ONE dead bear!) -It was almost worth it to sit in Brother's lap again, like when Al’d had their body. 

Brother happily, although with great difficulty, started doing the same thing she had just done with Nina. 

Al felt even more loved than usual, and sighed contently.

Chapter Text

Roy Mustang was currently in the hospital. It was to be expected after fighting a homunculus. He was also worried, which was to be expected after finding out that the homunculus happened to work for his government. 

But that wasn’t the reason he was worried. 

When Alphonse was fighting Lust, they kept referring to Lust as a he. It was weird because Lust was clearly a woman and presented as such. Roy frowned and pushed his memories farther.

The homunculus was in a fight with Alphonse. Roy knew that Alphonse could handle fighting with Fullmetal, but she wasn’t here right now, and this was supposedly an unkillable beast. Lust extended her claws and swiped at the youngest brother, who just barely dodged. Alphonse continued to dodge, Lust getting more and more mad, and they yelled, “TRUTH, WHEN IS THIS GUY GONNA STOP?! HE’S BEING AN ASSHOLE.” 

Roy blinked, confused. He? Lust was clearly a woman. The homunculus clearly thought the same way, as she paused, looking around to see if Alphonse was really talking about her. Realizing that yes, they were in fact, then spoke, “Are.. they referring to.. Me?”

The answer was, apparently, yes. Alphonse HAD been referring to her. The entire time Alphonse was fighting Lust they kept up with it.

“Don’t worry Hawkeye, This guy won’t hurt you!”

Or-

“He is a Homunculus, Colonel. I would know, I met one.”

Or even-

“Truth, is all this guy can do is stabbing? He’s not even being that creative. The other Homunculus at least had some flair and was willing to talk it out first.” 

Hawkeye made an expression, but Roy was a little too preoccupied trying to kill Lust to think about that.

Roy opened his eyes to the sound of Hawkeye moving, and snapped back into reality. He continued to mull it over in his brain. The ‘he’ was intentional, that much was certain, but why? What purpose did that serve beyond confusing the opponent? Alphonse clearly hadn’t intended to do that, as they continued to refer to Lust as a he even when she wasn’t there, so what could it be?

Roy would eat first. While he’s doing that he’ll start looking into his memories of the Elrics. Maybe that would provide some insight. 

****

Hawkeye knew this day would come for Roy. She would say she’s proud, but it’s been almost three years since he met the Elrics and everyone else figured it out before he did. 

Although not exactly proud, this was a long time coming. She wondered if everyone would be well enough in time for the realization. She could call Maes to hear it. Well, that might endanger his family, so maybe a letter with a recording would be better. 

Hawkeye smiled. Yes. Today was looking good. She wondered if the Elrics would visit them. Maybe they could witness the realization too. 

****

Jean was honestly surprised it had taken Mustang this long to figure out the pronoun thing with the Elrics. Everyone in the office already knew. hell, they even had a betting pool over when Mustang would find out. The original longest guess was 6 months. Beating out Jean’s own time to figure it out by 2-3 months. 

After the 6 month mark with Mustang still oblivious, the team hunkered down for the long haul. Right now, Jean had the closest bet with 2 years and 5 months. Jean had made it knowing it would likely be sooner, but had wanted to see what would happen. He didn’t think Mr.I-wanna-overthrow-the-government would’ve taken this long. 

Well, he might’ve lost the use of his legs, but this show was almost worth it. 

****

Roy had his team over, and the Elrics would be coming soon, but all he could think about was every conversation he’d ever had with them. Sure, when he’d pissed them off Fullmetal would call him sir, but had said it in a way where Roy knew Fullmetal was insulting him somehow. 

Looking back, Fullmetal only called Roy ma’am once. (The same way she insisted on addressing the Fuhrer) It was after he had walked in on a screaming Alphonse chasing Fullmetal. 

“YOU DESERVE TO WEAR A DRESS BROTHER!” 

Roy figured that Fullmetal had low self esteem, but not even allowing herself to wear a dress even though she clearly wanted to was not on the cards. Was she perhaps embarrassed because she didn’t own a nice one? He understood that aspect he supposed. When all of this is over, Roy mused, it would be nice to see Fullmetal comfortable in her own skin, living like a teenager should. Roy had a thought. Maybe- 

Maybe he could buy her a dress for when she’s ready for it. 

Yes. That sounded like a good idea.

It was hard to find a dress that would fit Fullmetal (size and style), but he had done it. He knocked on the door of their dorm with a box in hand and sifted nervously. He hoped he didn’t cross any of the boundaries- 

At that moment, Fullmetal opened the door with a scowl, probably expecting work. Before Fullmetal could say anything, Roy quickly thrusted the box into her hands.

“I overheard your conversation with your brother. I figured you deserve this for when you feel ready to wear it.” 

Fullmetal blinked before slowly, carefully unveiling the nice dress. It was red, her favorite color. But it was not the bright red she usually wore, it was a more muted but still saturated hue. 

She held it carefully and said, “You.. You bought this for me?” 

Roy nodded. “Yes, I think you deserve a nice dress.”  

He heard a quiet sob and looked at Fullmetal. She was quietly sobbing, careful to make sure the dress wouldn’t get cried on. 

“You think I deserve it?” 

Roy has never been good with kids, so maybe it was Maes,briefly possessing him, that made him say, “I do. You’re a good kid Eden.”

Eden let out another quiet sob before trapping him in a hug. He awkwardly hugged her back, and she whispered, “Thank you ma’am.” 

For some reason Roy felt flattered, but he’d had more pressing concerns at the time.

 “Of course Eden. I hope it serves you well when you wear it.”

Why was that the only time he’d been called that? It was as though that one brief moment had been the only time she had openly respected him-

Oh.

“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!”

His team, the traitors, all laughed at him. 

Havoc smirked, “Two years and four months. Pay up people!” 

There was a brief shuffling as everyone began passing him bills- 

“Did you all know about this?! Why did no one tell me?! How long did it take you all?!” 

“Couple months.” Jean

“A month.” Fuery

“Two weeks.” Breda?

“One week.” Falman??

“15 minutes.” HAWKEYE????

“YOU ALL KNEW AND DIDN’T TELL ME?!” 

Hawkeye, his closest ally, his right hand woman, looked him dead in the eyes.

“Yes.”

Chapter Text

Ling was on cloud nine. Ed had worn the ribbon again today, the red bow at the end of her golden braid a beautiful complement to her coloring. She wore a new red dress, darker than the bright red she usually wore. As Ling played with his daughter, he watched Ed. She was busy cooking an extremely large meal. 

As he admired Ed, Nina spoke up. “When are you gonna get Mama a dead bear?”

“Hm? A dead bear?” Ling’s attention was on Nina now. 

She nodded. “Yup. Grandma said that the most romantic thing someone could gift a potential partner is a dead bear, or to prove your strength by fighting a dangerous beast.” 

That made sense, he supposed. Well, he’d killed a bunch of tigers easily, a bear shouldn’t be that much harder. He paused as a new thought occurred to him. With the homunculus problem, there was an even more impressive kill available. Plus, they had a philosopher's stone for the taking. In one move Ed would be properly courted, and he would gain immortality, and then they could be wedded. 

He noticed Nina was getting fussy so he answered. “Currently, I’m looking for an even deadlier beast. Your mother deserves the best.” 

Nina nodded seriously, and Ling heard Ed approaching. He glanced up to see that Ed was blushing, (Guess she heard, huh?) but holding a big box.

“Oh, hello Ed.” 

Ed shoved the box into Ling’s hands. “Here. I know for a fact that you don’t plan on paying for your own lunch, so instead of you scamming some poor sap, I made you some.” 

Oh. Ling felt his own face flush. That’s why it was such a big box, she had remembered how much he ate.

Ling wondered if it would be normal to feel this greedy for another person. Feeling his soul practically ascend from her cooking, he decided that yes, it was. He felt this way towards his country, his people, and Ed was to be his wife. There would be no other. Ling wasn’t sure there ever could be.

****

Roy, thankfully, was a little less embarrassed by the time the Elrics came in. Granted, he wasn’t sure he could ever look at Alphonse the same way ever again after realizing every time they met he had been called sir. Fullmetal swapped between they and he, weirdly making her the nicer one out of the two. 

Was this why Hawkeye called him Ma’am in front of them? Was she trying to get them to respect him more? 

He’d asked Hawkeye if Fullmetal was even biologically a girl, and she had confirmed that Fullmetal was, so at least he got something right. Even if it was a very tiny thing.

He heard the Elrics before he saw them, so when Eden walked in wearing the dress he had given her, he was a little shocked. 

He quickly schooled his features. “Nice dress Fullmetal.” 

She flushed a little but mumbled, “Yeah, yeah. Somebody who’s usually an ass got it for me, but sometimes they're nice so I decided to wear it.” 

Roy couldn’t help his features softing a little. Good, she deserved to feel like a normal kid as often as she could. 

Nina yelled “WE BROUGHT LUNCH!”

****

Jean was thrilled. Apparently, Boss had decided to make lunch for everyone today, and her cooking was legendary . Jean had only had her food once before, after he’d made an offhand comment about not having breakfast that morning. She made an offended noise, sat him down, and made him an omelet that tasted like home . Boss was a damn good chef for being only 15. 

Yes, he was glad to be eating her pot pie, and he could tell everyone else was too. Hawkeye was even smiling . That took a feat from God itself. Boss herself was practically inhaling food. She only stopped to speak or to wipe her daughter's face off. 

After her 5th slice, Roy decided to be an ass, like usual. 

“Geeze Fullmetal, Save some for the rest of us.” 

Boss scowled and barked, “Shut it bastard! I’ll have you know I’m eating for two!” 

Jean fell out of his wheelchair.

****

Hawkeye felt her soul leave her body. 

No. 

No.  

Not Eden,  not her little girl. 

She desperately choked out, “Alphonse… is this true?” 

Please, please say it isn’t true. She was too young for all this horror. She hadn’t done anything. She didn’t deserve this. Please, just this once, don’t let this happen. Don’t let this have been taken from Eden too, she didn’t know how much Eden had left to give.

Hawkeye didn’t know how much more horror she could take.

And then Alphonse nodded. 

“Yeah, it’s true.” No.

“We just found out that Mama’s eating for two.” NO.

Hawkeye wished she was fully healed. She wished she could take her gun and shoot the man who took one of the few remaining fragments of Eden’s childhood. This would not stand.

As soon as Eden left, Hawkeye was going to kill someone. 

****

Roy was not ready for this. Based on the looks on the team's faces, and the fact that Havoc was on the floor, none of them were either. Hawkeye looked devastated, (as much as she would let herself show emotion anyway.) and Roy was sure his own face looked the same. 

No. This was not the time for a teenage pregnancy. 

Not with the homunculus, not with the government the way it was. 

Who could the father even be ? Eden hadn’t mentioned anyone-

“ Oh, yeah, and some prince proposed to me.”

Roy with difficulty stood up and walked over to Eden. 

Eden looked up at him, “What is it, Bastard-” 

Roy put his hands gently on her shoulders and bent down to her eye level. “Who was it? Was it the prince?” 

Eden blinked. “Ling?” 

Roy heard Hawkeye mumble something murderous, but he stayed focused on Eden. “If it was, just let me know. I am not afraid to cause an international incident.” 

Eden’s face flushed and shifted into one of confusion. 

“What.”

Chapter Text

Al liked to think they knew when Brother was planning something dumb. The first indicator, she would start preparing things without explanation. Brother told Al everything, so it was a dead give away she was going to do something she knew they wouldn’t approve of. The next phase: small movements to do the dumb thing. If not stopped, she would move to the last step, doing the dumb thing.

So, when Brother started the day by telling Nina that Winry was going to be watching her and refusing to tell Al why, they knew it was going to be possibly the dumbest plan yet. Naturally, when they cornered Brother and forced her to say it out loud, the stupidest, most self sacrificing plan Al had ever heard came out of her mouth. 

“Scar is still a thing right? He killed Winry's parents so we can’t exactly just have him walking around. So I was gonna…” She trailed off mumbling the rest. 

“Say it clearly Brother.” She stiffened. 

“I was gonna make a..” More mumbling. 

“Brother.” 

“I WAS GONNA MAKE A HUGE RUCKUS TO DRAW HIM OUT SO HE’D FIGHT ME OK?!” 

“Oh.” Brother, you self sacrificing idiot. Like Al would just let you throw away your life like that. “No.”

“Whaddya mean no?! I’m the older B-” 

Al interrupted. “No.”

“We didn’t win last time, do you think you stand a chance by yourself? Besides.” Al looked Brother dead in the eyes, “Don’t you have to keep living for Nina?” 

Brother looked down, so Al continued. “I’m mad for Winry too, but you and I both know you have too much banking on your return.” Brother looked close to tears. Al sighed. “You're too precious to be throwing yourself around like this Brother. You care for others so much, but please, just this once, care for yourself.”  

Brother wordlessly grabbed Al into a hug, a few tears falling from her face. “I don’t know how. Please help me with this plan.” 

Al sighed. That, they could do. They couldn’t keep Brother from caring, but they could stop people from destroying her. Even if that meant herself. 

****

When Lan Fan came back with the information that the brothers were going to start going after homunculus, Ling knew he had to act. So, once Al stopped Ed from her borderline suicidal Plan A, (He’d have to thank Al later.) Ling made his presence known by opening the (previously) locked window.

“Hello!” 

Al turned to Ling. “I locked that window.” 

Ed shook her head. “She can pick locks, Al.” 

“What.”

Ling continued on, ignoring his future Brother-in-law. “Heard you planning. Would you like some help” 

Ed blinked and leaned towards him. “You’d do that? What do you get out of it?” 

Ling smiled. Perfect. He could explain his reasoning and let her know his intentions. 

“Homunculus have philosopher’s stones right? Perfect for my use. Plus-”

Ling grabbed her (beautiful, golden) flesh hand, and knelt down. “I’m told that in this country, to court someone properly, I will need to conquer a deadly beast. Unfortunately, I see no tigers here, but a homunculus should do, no?” 

Ling looked up from where he knelt to see her face turning a bright red. He heard Al in the background protesting, but he could also hear Lan Fan stopping him. 

Good. 

Ed managed to stammer out. “I-I’ll believe it when I see it! But….if you do, after I get Al’s body back, I’ll go with you to Xing. If Nina and Al are ok with it, that is.” 

Ling smiled. Oh, this wonderful woman and her loyalty. 

He spoke at the same time as Al.

“I would love nothing more.” “NOOOOOO-”

****

When Izumi got a call from Central, she was expecting Ed. She loved Al, but the armor just made it harder to understand over the phone, so Ed usually did the calling. 

When she picked up the phone to hear Al instead, his voice urgent, she stood at attention. 

“Teacher,” Al all-but-yelled, “Teacher, it's-it’s awful.”

Izumi could hear the distress.

“What's wrong Al?” 

“Teacher, it’s Ed.” 

Izumi felt her heart stop. No. Not Ed. “What happened to Eden, Alphonse?” 

They took a breath before-

“Ed is getting courted Teacher.” 

Izumi blinked “Courted?” She could practically hear Al nodding- No wait, she actually could, they were a living suit of armor. 

“ Yes. It’s awful, Teacher.”  

“Al. You called me, telling me something terrible happened to Ed, only to say that she’s being courted ?” 

“Yes Teacher-”

Izumi breathed in. “Al! I thought she had gotten injured.”  

“Huh? No, she's fine. But this guy that’s courting her-” 

Izumi interrupted them, laughing so hard she coughed up blood. Sig appeared next to her, worried. 

“Sig! Al just called, sounding utterly panicked. They told me that something happened to Ed, and you wanna know what it was?” 

Sig grunted. “What?” 

Izumi joyfully crowed, “She’s getting courted!” 

Izumi could hear Al on the line, “Teacher, this is no laughing matter-” at the same time Sig said, “Did she get a dead bear?” 

Oh. That was important. Ed would not be marrying someone who couldn’t even kill a bear. Izumi turned her attention back to Al. 

“Al.”

Al stopped their ramblings. “Yes Teacher?” 

“Al, has she been given a bear?”

Izumi could hear Al shifting around like it pained him to say this. 

“...He’s planning on fighting and killing a homunculus to prove his worth.”

Izumi grinned. Ed deserved such devotion and care. 

She turned to her husband, “He’s planning on killing a homunculus.” 

Sig nodded. “Good. Then he’s serious about this.” 

Izumi interrupted Al’s protests. “Al.” They stopped in their tracks. “That is exactly what Ed deserves.” 

Al hesitated. “Well, yes. Brother deserves that, but he doesn't deserve her.” Izumi really tried to stop her laughter, she did, but it came barreling out of her chest anyway. 

“Al, Did you really call me just to tell me to beat up the person courting your brother.” 

“...Yes.”

Chapter Text

When Maes got the letter with no return address, he was sure to open it outside, just in case it was a threat. However, when all he received was a note from Hawkeye in her handwriting and tone with a recording, he was intrigued. So, he went inside, sat down, and started to listen. He wasn’t expecting Furey to start it off. 

“Hey, so we think today is the day that Mustang is finally gonna figure out the weird Elric pronoun thing. So we thought we’d record it for you just in case. It’s going to be pretty funny when he realizes that Boss had been insulting him every time she called him sir.”

As the recording shifted over, Maes hummed. Sir was disrespectful? Well, that explained why they only referred to him as ma’am now that he thought about it. He wondered where the distinction line was for gendered terms as brother was fine and good, as were dad and mom. 

As the recording played, he heard the team joking around, though oddly nothing from Royboy yet. 

“And as I was saying-” Jean began before Royboy loudly interrupted,

“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!”

Maes could hear the team explode into laughter, and if he really strained his ears, he could even hear Hawkeye giggling. Royboy must have put two and two together.

“Two years and four months. Pay up people!”  

Oh, so that's what that bet was for. On the tape, Royboy practically ordered his team to tell him how long they had known. As everyone shouted out lengths of time, Royboy let out what could only be described as the sound of a man pushed to the brink of insanity. 

Maes had never heard a more beautiful sound.

****

Roy Mustang was not supposed to be out of the hospital, but he had to move fast. He figured Fullmetal was going to be doing something stupid, so even though he and Hawkeye weren't fully healed they were out on the field. This was important, really important, based on Fullmetal’s past plans. 

So, there was Roy, sitting in a passenger seat, ignoring his own discomfort and scanning out the window for the brothers. He knew Fullmetal could be stupid, but he knew she would rather saw off her remaining limbs than put that little girl in danger. 

Roy would’ve looked at Hawkeye, to see how she was holding up, but the pure malice radiating off of her was scaring him. She had it for the past couple of days, but for some reason now that they were out of the hospital, it was especially strong. 

Roy was rather fond of his head, thank you very much, so he did not attempt to comment on it. Besides, they had to stop Fullmetal and explain to her that while pregnant, you generally should not do stupid things. 

Roy would not be having a pregnant person doing field work, not even in the apocalypse. 

When they finally spotted the brothers, he motioned for Hawkeye to stop.

Here went everything.

****

Ed was confused why they and Al were sitting in a car right now. They’d done plenty of dumb shit in the past, but people usually only care about the aftermath. 

When Bastard opened their mouth with, “Are you about to do something stupid Fullmetal?” Ed felt they had the right to be scowling. 

“What’s it matter to you Bastard?” 

Bastard took a deep breath in and they watched Roy psych themself up to say something. 

“Eden, don’t you have something to be caring for right now?”

Ed blinked. “Nina’s with Winry, and Al already talked me out of the worse plan-”

“No, not that.” Bastard took a deep breath in and turned to look Ed in the face.

“Eden. Are you sure you should be doing this while pregnant?” 

Wait.

“What?”

Ed was momentarily baffled. “Who said I was pregnant? Wait. Am I pregnant? How do I figure that out? How did you figure that out? WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME?” They frantically turned to Al. “Al, am I pregnant?” This was bad-

 Al sighed. “No, Brother. You’re not pregnant.”  

Oh. Right. 

Ed hadn’t done anything to get pregnant. That was kind of important. As much as Truth loves to fuck with them, it wouldn’t break it’s own rules just to give Ed a baby. 

****

Hawkeye felt her grip slightly lessen on the steering wheel.

Oh thank god.  

Eden was ok. Her little girl still was ok, even if just for a moment. Eden got to keep some of her childhood. Good. Eden and Alphonse deserved that much. Even if Hawkeye couldn’t give them that, she’d be damned if they couldn’t come to her to take care of things. 

It looked like the murder plans would be put on hold.

She heard Roy double checking. “Oh? How would you know Alphonse?”

Silence. 

After a few moments of this, Hawkeye glanced over to see Alphonse staring at Roy. Hawkeye could practically feel the waves of disappointment coming from Alphonse right now. 

More awkward silence.

Then Royawkwardly chuckled, “Yeah, I guess you two never are apart huh?” 

No response.

“Why did I ever think you were the polite one?” 

Everyone stared at Roy. 

“We have no idea.” 

****

Al was a little upset that Mustang and Hawkeye thought they would know if Brother was pregnant before Al would. Al was with Brother 24/7, they would know if Brother was pregnant, Mustang. On top of that, Brother hadn’t done or said anything to indicate she was even pregnant, so they had no idea where this was even coming from. 

Al would’ve been there when the concevening would’ve happened, and also Al would’ve stopped the conceiving, because ew. Also because nobody deserved Brother. If anybody tried, Al would’ve killed them. 

Al had spent the last month at least trying to stop Ling, and since their last lead wasn’t going to do anything ( Seriously Teacher, how hard would it’ve been to kick some lame prince’s ass?) Al was ready to ask Hawkeye. 

As Hawkeye opened her mouth to speak, Al had a hunch they weren’t going to like it. 

“Damn, I guess I have to throw away those plans to kill that Ling guy…”

Chapter Text

Scar knew the Elrics were going to be a problem, one he knew had to be taken out. He wasn’t exactly happy to be killing a young teen,but things had to be done for the cycle of hatred to end. They may have been ganging up on him, but he was confident he could at least tie it. 

That was, until the alchemist saw his arm. 

“You- I was right. You're the guy who killed Winry's parents! They were innocent! They were doctors! All they ever did was try to save people!”

Oh. 

That was why the alchemist seemed angrier this time around. They knew of the one and only kill he regretted. 

****

Winry had left Nina at the hotel while she went out to get some food for dinner that night, but she wasn’t expecting to hear that Ed and Al had gotten into a fight again. She cursed herself as she rushed over. Of course that was why Ed’d asked Winry to watch Nina! Ed wouldn’t leave Nina’s side otherwise, and Nina wouldn’t leave Ed’s! Ed knew something was going to happen today, and wanted Nina out of the loop. That she could understand, but seriously, Ed couldn’t have told Winry?!

As she skidded around the corner, she made eye contact with Al. Al was clearly padding for time, and Winry could see why. Ed needed a breather.

Al looked back at the man, “Why are you killing state alchemists?” 

“Alchemy is an affront to God-” Al interrupted again (Seriously, no manners.) “The same God you kill in the name of? The same god you killed Shou Tucker in the name of?” 

The man blinked. “You knew that man? Then you know why he needed to die.” 

Ed scoffed. “Know that man? Of course we knew that asshole! We’re not arguing that. We’re arguing what you did to the Rockbells in the Ishvalan civil war!” 

Al looked between Winry and Ed. “Uh, Brother-”

Ed yelled out the words that might haunt Winry for a lifetime. “We’re talking about the fact that you killed them!”

No.

No.

NO!

Winry could feel molten hot ragehateanger burn through her. This man, this thing, had killed her parents. 

Why?

Whywhywhywhywhy-

Winry collapsed on the ground. She felt far away, drowning in her pain and her rage. She didn’t even realize what her body was doing until she felt the cool metal of the gun in her hands. Yes. She knew what she needed to do. 

Ed interrupted, trying to calm her down. Ed didn’t get it. This wasn’t a wrong that could be righted with words. 

“Winry, you need to stop.”

Winry couldn’t stop the words from coming out. “Your daughter has you, Ed. She still gets to have her mother. I don’t. And it’s all his fault! ” 

“Winry, please.” There was a rare, desperate edge to Ed’s voice. 

It was too late for that though. It had been too late for that since the day Granny had told her that her parents were never coming home. 

She aimed the gun at the man- No, the monster , who had killed her kind, loving, wonderful, parents. The ones who would never hurt a fly, who went against orders just to help Ishvalans. To help his people, and he killed them anyway.

“You have the right to kill me. Your parents are the only ones I shouldn’t have killed.” 

Winry hated him more for it. 

He didn’t even have a good reason to kill them.

****

When Scar went after the Elrics, he was expecting a mess, but this was bigger than he was expecting. 

Apparently, both of the brothers were sisters? But referred to each other as brothers? They referred to each other as she, yet seemed adamant that they were brothers, not sisters. They referred to some others as a she, like Mr. Rockbell, even though Scar had met him and knew he was a man. Had bled like a man, had died like a man.

Secondly, apparently the alchemist had a child. The kid soldier had a child, had joined the military to help fix her crimes against god, and raise a child. If Scar didn’t kill the alchemist now, he would wonder whether or not he should even kill her. 

Thirdly, and possibly most important right now, his greatest mistake had a child, and he was staring down the barrel of her gun right now. She was hesitating. This would not do. She needed to end the cycle of hatred where he had failed. He would have to push her.

He rushed towards the girl, his brother’s arm extended to kill. “Will you shoot me now?”

Before his arm could get any closer to her, a flash of red appeared and-

Brother? No. The alchemist, protecting the girl like Brother had once done for him.

Was-

Was this what Brother had seen before Kimbley killed him?

****

Winry could only sob. Through her tears and the snot streaming down her face, she watched Al lure Scar away from them. 

She hadn’t been able to do it. She couldn’t even kill the man who killed her own parents. How pathetic was that? 

Ed slowly kneeled down to be eye level to Winry. “Winry, hey, look at me.” Winry tried to look Ed in the eyes. She trusted Ed. Ed had always reminded her of her parents. She was as caring as they were. 

Slowly, carefully, Ed pried the gun free from her grip. 

“I-I cou-couldn’t even pull the trigger.” Winry sobbed. 

Ed just held her hands, looking at her with a soft look on her face.

“I couldn’t even kill him, and he killed my parents.” 

“Winry.” Ed finally spoke. “Winry, do you remember when you helped me deliver that baby? Or when you held hands with Paninya for the first time?” Winry nodded. 

“Winry, your hands weren't meant for killing people. They are for helping them live.” 

Winry had thought she’d run out of tears, but as Ed held her in that alley, the same way she’d held her when her parents first died, she lost it again. She couldn’t- She wanted- 

She wanted her mom and dad back. 

She wanted to see Paninya, to kiss her, and tell her everything that had happened.

-But she couldn’t have that.

Right now, all she could do was cry in her brother's arms.

Chapter Text

Ling backflipped away from Wrath carrying Lan away from the fight. This was bad. Although Ling had been able to take on the homunculus, he hadn’t been able to kill one, let alone two. He couldn’t focus on that now though, Ling had to make sure Lan made it out alive. His best friend deserved to live.

Ling was whispering to Lan trying to calm himself down, really. “We just got to go a little further to escape Gluttony. We’ll get you medical attention, you need to see Grandpa again.” 

Eventually Lan interrupted his babbling, “My prince.”

Ling stopped in an alleyway. “Yes, Lan?”

She slowly pulled out a kunai, and Ling felt dread crawl up his spine. Was this how Al had felt watching Ed bleeding out from her arm and leg all those years ago? The feeling that someone you loved was going to sacrifice something for you that you’d rather they keep? He knew that he was powerless against the decision his dear friend, his sister, was going to make.

“My prince, there is something that needs to be left behind. Allow me to take a page out of your bride's book.” 

****

Ed was straight up not having a good time. This Scar guy was shaping up to be more and more of an asshole each time they met him. He was trying to kill Al, Ed's little brother, the child they had been in charge of protecting their whole life. No. That would not stand. 

Ed had bigger problems though, because a Truthdamned homunculus had just come barreling through a wall. Now, Ed had to work with the damn asshole, because an unkillable beast just fucking showed up. Ed cursed themself. They could’ve eventually beaten Scar, as tired as they were, but a homunculus was a little ambitious.  

Ed was willing to admit that they were getting a little worried. 

Then Ling appeared.

Like an avenging angel, she landed on Gluttony’s head, force fed him a grenade, then backflipped off of his stupid fucking head. 

“EVERYONE GET BACK!” 

Ed barely stepped away. 

Then. Oh, then, she looked into Ed’s eyes. (Had Ling always been that attractive?) 

“Ed, my bride, could you please transmute some steel wire for me? This pig needs to be hogtied.”

And oh.

Was this how love felt? Was this how Teacher felt whenever she looked at her husband? If so, Ed might have to apologize for when they were younger and would make gagging noises whenever Teacher and Sig kissed. 

Ling, (beautiful, handsome, strong ), fought Glutonly like he was just some beast, some stupid creature, easily handled. She had fought a homunculus, and won. To save Lan, to save Al, and to save her own country. More than that-

Ling had fought a homunculus for Ed.

Ling was fighting another homunculus for Ed.

Ed felt loved.

Ed didn’t think they managed to keep a dopey grin off their face as they clapped their hands, touched the rail, and gave her fiancé the cord. She felt her face flush, and she felt like the luckiest person in the world.

“Of course, my groom.” 

Ed watched as Ling hogtied Gluttony and perched on top of his struggling form. When she paused to look back at Ed, she grinned at her.

Feeling terribly lovesick, Ed called to her. “My idiot prince, you didn’t have to go this far.” 

Ling smiled. It made Ed feel terribly safe. “Of course I did. You deserve the world at your feet. Besides,” Ling kicked Gluttony. “He was getting on my nerves. It was personal.”

****

Mei had to move fast. Mr. Scar would surely die because of the lady with the gun, and the others. However, her possible future husband, the fullmetal alchemist, was also there!... along with her half brother, but she was trying to be positive. 

As she appeared in front of Mr.Scar, barely saving him with alkhestry, she locked eyes with the Fullmetal alchemist….

…Who was short. He also appeared to have more effeminate features than she expected, but he was as golden as the rumors say. As her future husband opened his mouth, no doubt to ask Mei for her hand in marriage, he was interrupted by her half brother.  

“Ed, my bride, what’s the hold up? We have to go.” 

No.

No!

THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST WAS A WOMEN AND MARRYING HER USELESS HALF BROTHER?!

****

Nina didn’t really understand why Winry had smelled so sad when she got back to the hotel. Winry didn’t say anything to her either. They just sat together in the hotel until Mama reappeared.

Mama seemed to know why Winry was sad, and she handed her a train ticket with a sad smile. Then she picked Nina up and carried her towards a car. 

As Mama, Big Brother Al and Ling loaded in, Ling requested Ms. Hawkeye stop for Lan Fan. 

Ms. Hawkeye tried protesting, but Nina liked Lan so, “Ms. Hawkeye, please save Lan. She's nice.” 

Ms. Hawkeye took a deep breath before muttering something about being quick. Ling nodded and bounded out of the car, returning a few minutes later with Lan. She was missing an arm! Nina may not be able to fix that, but she can make it better. 

“Mama?” Mama turned away from Ling to answer her. 

“Yes, Nina?” 

“Can I have my crayons and paper? I wanna draw something to make Lan feel better.” Mama smiled softly. 

“I think that's a great idea Nina. I’m sure Lan will love that.” 

After the car ride, Ms. Hawkeye told her she needed to hide inside Big Brother Al. She was a little surprised when she found a weird cat dog thing was already inside, growling at her. Silly cat-dog! They were supposed to be quiet! Nina gently grabbed it, very firmly shushing the creature. It tried biting her, but Nina didn’t react. She was a tough girl! A little bite didn’t hurt nearly as bad as her other body had.

Once they reached an old cabin, Mama let her out. 

“We’re going to be visiting Lan so you can give her the drawing ok?” 

Nina was going to make Lan feel so much better.

****

Ling watched Lan and Ed have a conversation with a sad smile. 

Lan started off. “Thank you my lady-” 

Ed interrupted, “Please just call me Ed, Lan.” 

Lan continued. “Thank you, my lady. Without your trick you showed me with your arm, neither me nor my lord would’ve made it out alive.” 

Ed made an acknowledging hum, “Nina, did you wanna give Lan your drawing?” 

Ah, yes. His daughter had made a drawing for Lan. She was just like her mother.  

“Here you go, Lan. I made it for you.” 

Ling could hear Lan carefully handling the gift, “Thank you, Nina.”

Chapter Text

Roy knew that they had to save the Xing prince and bodyguard, for several reasons. One, Roy didn’t want an international incident. And two, he needed as many allies as he could get. At the moment, everyone was gathered in the old cabin, just waiting for someone to say something. Fullmetal sat next to the prince with her daughter in her lap whispering something to him. Alphonse, of course, was at attention next to their brother, turned towards the prince. Hawkeye stood at attention by his side, and he was sitting down. 

Roy cleared his throat and decided to introduce himself. “Prince Ling Yao?” The prince eventually tore his gaze away from Fullmetal and Nina and looked at Roy. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Colonel Roy Mustang.” 

Ling got up, walked over and shaked his hand. “Nice to meet you, Sir .” 

Roy nodded. Good. A respectable young man.

****

Hawkeye was not fooled. She could tell that Ling had learnt a thing or two from Eden and Alphonse. When Ling called Roy sir, he looked at Eden and she nodded in approval. Hawkeye narrowed her eyes at Ling, but said nothing. Ling thanked Mustang for saving Lan Fan, and Hawkeye mused idly. What could Eden have been whispering about? Could It be reassurance? That made sense, Eden would try her best to cheer others up, in her own harsh way. 

However the topic shifted when Eden asked “Hey, Would it be okay if I told them?”

Ling tilted his head. “Do you trust them?” 

Eden nodded. “With my life.” 

Hawkeye felt her heart swell, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Roy softing as well. Their little girl trusted them-

“MeandLingaregettingmarried.” 

What .

“Come again?” 

Eden took a deep breath, her face a vibrant red. She was holding Ling's hand, and he looked at her so fondly Hawkeye almost hated him for it. 

“Me and Ling are going to be getting married.” 

Nina jumped up excitedly, yelling something about how she knew it but it was background noise for Hawkeye. 

Hawkeye wasn’t sure if Eden was trying to break a record for number of heart attacks, because if so, she needed to stop, she’d already won. Eden would NOT be getting married so young. Especially not to some-some prince, who would take Eden away forever. On top of that, if he did become emperor, he would have 50 wives. Eden deserved to be loved and cherished, not part of a fucking harem. 

“Aren’t you planning to be emperor?” 

Ling nodded.

“What about your 50 wives?”

The fool frowned before answering, “I’m getting rid of that system. My bride deserves the best of the best. She will be the sole empress.” 

Alphonse had been suspiciously quiet. Hawkeye needed more backup to take this threat down. 

“Alphonse, anything to say about this?” 

Alphonse sighed like the thing about to come out of their mouth was going to physically hurt them. “No, unfortunately. He fought and defeated a homunculus for Brother. You can’t get more romantic than that.” 

Eden frowned and turned to Alphonse. “You really need to stop insulting her.”  

“I’m letting him marry you, that’s all he’s probably getting.” 

Hawkeye wondered if it would cause a war to shoot the prince right here and now. 

****

Roy was having another Fullmetal induced heart attack. (He seemed to be having a lot of those recently.) He felt his jaw drop open.

Married.

Married.

MARRIED?!

EDEN WAS GETTING MARRIED?! She was too young, surely not his little girl! Eden was still needed here! Please god, Roy couldn’t lose anyone else. And Alphonse was just- just- just letting it happen!

He had to try to keep her here. “ What about you and Al’s bodies? Are you just giving up on that?” 

Eden scowled. “We're getting married after I get Al’s body back, you bastard. You don’t gotta worry about losing a soldier you asshat.”

He turned to Ling. “And how do you plan to help Fullmetal? How do you plan to- " 

"Sir, I don’t appreciate the sentiment that my bride can not handle herself.” Ling interrupted frowning. 

What would he know? Ling hadn’t known Eden long enough to know how she worked. Eden rarely asked for help when she needed it and he just-

“If I can see that she needs help I will gladly offer it. But she is not some damsel in distress that needs saving. She needs support, yes, and I will gladly give that to her.”  Roy looked to Eden hoping to see some agitation on her face-

Oh.

Eden was looking so lovingly at Ling. Similar to how she looked at Alphonse or Nina, and yet so, so different. She was looking at him like-

Like he looked at Hawkeye. 

Oh. His little girl was in love, and Roy kind of wanted to cry.

****

Nina was so happy! Her Mama was getting married to Ling! She knew they were looking at each other like Grandpa and Grandma had! She loved Mama and she loved Ling, so she was so, so happy they were together. 

Ling wouldn’t ever be her Daddy ( painpainpainhurtshurtshurts-) , but Nina could call her Papa. That was exactly right. Ling was going to be her Papa, and Nina couldn’t be more grateful for it. She tugged on Ling's sleeve to get her attention. 

“Yes Nina?” 

“Thank you for loving me and Mama, Papa.” 

Papa blinked at her before tears streamed down her face as she choked out. “Of course Nina. I’m glad you love me too.” Nina just smiled and pulled Papa and Mama into a hug. 

Everything was right.

Chapter Text

Ed didn’t know how the fight started, just that it had. After her soon to be husband (and that felt amazing to say) revealed that the Fuhrer was a homunculus, it devolved into an argument of what to do with the current philosophers stone. The Bastard wanted to use it to cure Jean, and Ling needed it for immortality.  At some point, they both turned to her like she would back either one of them up. She would not. She liked Jean, they were nice enough, but she also wanted her groom to be able to complete her dream. 

Hawkeye interrupted. “What about you Eden, Aren't you going to use it for you and Alphonse's bodies?” 

They both shifted to stare Ed, who shook her head. “No. We’re gonna find another way that doesn't involve using truthdamned murder rocks.” 

Al nodded along. “Yes. We’re not going to get our bodies back on the bodies of others.”  

The two immediately went back to arguing.

“You’re an illegal immigrant!” 

“So? Lan gave her arm to help me capture it!”

“I have to give Havoc the ability to walk again!”

“AND I HAVE TO BECOME EMPEROR!”

“WHY? SO YOU CAN MARRY FULLMETAL? YOU REALLY ARE UNLIKEABLE! ”

“OH ED SEEMS TO LIKE ME JUST FINE-”

Then Gluttony got loose, and it was chaos from there. 

****

Roy was very bravely running away from the Homunculus. Alphonse and Fullmetal were running next to him, Fullmetal with Nina in her arms. In their collective defense, Gluttony appeared to be able to devour everything, and that included all of them. He had tried the usual method of burning the shit out of the problem, but unfortunately that hadn’t worked…

BECAUSE HE ATE THE FLAMES. 

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Alphonse yelled out, “Colonel, why don’t we leave you behind? You’re the one he wants!” 

Which wow, really feeling the love, Alphonse. It’s not like he gave you and your brother jobs, and tried his best to take care of you two, but whatever. Then, Fullmetal got that look on her face that said she had a very self sacrificing plan. 

“Al. Could you distract him for a minute? I need to get Nina into the car.” 

With that, Fullmetal ran ahead. When he got to the car, she was gone, and all that was left was her crying daughter.

****

Nina knew that it was serious when Mama picked up speed. She was scared, but she knew Mama would protect her. As she ran, Mama whispered to Nina. 

“It’ll be ok sweetheart. I’ll get you out of here, and you’ll be safe okay?”

Nina was trying really hard not to cry, but it was getting harder and harder with each second that passed. 

When they got to the car and Mama saw Lan, she turned Nina’s face to look at her. “Ok, Nina. Lan is going to be keeping you safe while Mama takes care of something okay?” 

Nina felt tears in her eyes. This felt like a goodbye. 

“Is this a goodbye Mama?” 

Mama shook her head. “No, Nina. I’ll be back to get you, I promise.” 

“You promise?” Mama didn’t break her promises. Not ever. 

Mama gave her a sad smile and kissed Nina on her forehead.

“I promise.” 

Mama carefully handed Nina over to Lan stating, “Take care of her Lan. I’ll be back.” 

Lan seriously nodded her head. “Of course, My Lady.” 

Before Mama could run off again, Ms. Hawkeye stopped her. 

“Eden. Please take this. I don’t know how useful it will be, but please take it.” 

Ms. Hawkeye handed Mama a gun and she was off. 

As Mama’s Boss drove away, Nina started crying. She missed her Mama. Lan tried to comfort her, but she wasn’t as good at it as Mama. 

Nina wanted her family. 

****

Roy was having a worse time than before, and he was one of the lucky ones. He didn’t have to fight a homunculus. No. The reason he felt so guilty was that he left children to fight the homunculus. 

His own children potentially just sacrificed themselves to make sure that he could get away. As if that wasn’t crushing enough, Fullmetal had made sure that her daughter was in the car. 

Nina was crying, which was understandable considering that her mother and brother had just left to try and make sure she was safe. Roy didn’t really know how to comfort crying five year olds, let alone one who didn’t understand that she might’ve just lost a mother.  Roy could feel his nails cut through his gloves from how tight he was gripping his hands.

How useless was he that he couldn’t even save the children he helped raise?

****

Lan didn’t really need to be told to protect Nina. She would have done so regardless. Lan liked Nina a lot, clearly she would die for her. She felt flattered that Her Lady had entrusted her and the Young Lord's child to her care. Even though she was missing an arm, she would do everything in her power to take care of Nina.

…As soon as she figured out how to get her to stop crying. 

Look, Lan had no doubt that Her Lady and Lord could take care of themselves, (and she supposed, Her Lady's brother.) but how did one convey that to a child?….How did one comfort a child? What did five year olds even like? 

Hmmm. Lan had liked swords when she was five. 

Oh! Lan would give Nina one of her spare blades later. Then start teaching her about swordsmanship. That should cheer her up. 

****

Hawkeye felt what little remained of her heart burn to ashes when Eden and Alphonse decided to stay back so the rest of them could escape. Her children, ( they were so small, so damaged when she met them-) viewed themselves as lesser than everyone in the car. 

Hawkeye didn’t deserve that. Roy didn’t either. The only one truly deserving of such a sacrifice was little Nina. 

Oh, poor Nina. 

Hawkeye looked at the crying little girl in the rearview mirror. What could be said? Her mother and brother might have just given up their lives for her.

How did you tell a child that you were so useless that their teenage family members had to sacrifice themselves so that the adults could live?

Hawkeye just hoped that the gun served Eden better than it served her.

Chapter Text

Nonononononono-

Al couldn’t find Brother anywhere. All that was left was-

was- 

was this homunculus that took Brother away from Al . Al felt numb. They didn’t know what to do. They wanted to kill the homunculus that took Brother.

Why? Why had Brother gone after that stupid prince? Why-

Why had Brother left him?  

No. Al couldn't think like that. Brother would never leave Al. Never. Brother would rather die than leave Al. Brother had promised , and she never breaks her promises. Ever. Brother would make it out. She had to. 

Al didn’t know what they’d do if anything else happened. But now, Al had to be by themselves. They hated being by themselves. Without Brother, without Nina, Al felt as empty as their armor. It was like the sun and stars were gone. Al was a moon without anything to orbit.

Oh Truth, what was he going to tell Nina? “Hey Nina, remember Brother? Yeah, well she just dove head first into the maw of a homicidal homunculus so…” Like that would go over well. What would Brother do? What would Brother do-

Then, Gluttony got up and started walking away, Like he hadn’t just taken Brother away.  

In that moment, Al didn’t know what Brother would do, but they were going to follow this fucker.

****

The last thing Ed saw before they dove after their husband was the gaping maw of the beast. They thought Envy may have gotten swallowed too, so there was another fucking problem to deal with. Ed took a second to get their thoughts in order. 

First, the area surrounding them. Pretty dark but they could see some fire- Oh. Guess the bastard wasn’t too useless after all. If when Ed got out of here, they might have to thank them. 

Ed lit a torch and looked around to see- Truth, were they just standing in a sea of blood?! As soon as they get out of here, they are going to disinfect every part of their body.  

“Okay, Eden, where is your fiance?” Ed mused to themselves. “LINGGGGG!” 

Ed heard a grunt before seeing a familiar silhouette. 

“Oh Ling- Wait. Are you Envy? HOW DO I KNOW IF YOU’RE MY HUSBAND-” 

“I owe you 3024.35 cenz. Mainly for ingredients and room service. The day I met you, I fell in love as soon as I saw you-”

“OKAY, OKAY I GET IT.” Ed’s face was probably red right now. 

“Right, time to see if you're Envy. What would you propose I do, Sir ?”

“WHO THE FUCK YOU CALLING SIR, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SHIT MEANS-” 

Ed didn’t even think before pulling Ling to their eye level. Instead of being frightened, Ling was smiling. 

“Ah, there's my beautiful wife.”

Ed sputtered and felt her face heat up. “Wha-OKAY whatever! Let’s see if we can get out of here. I’m not really sure how old this blood is, nor do I really wanna find out.”  

Her husband hummed, then started following her. 

When they found Al’s hand, Ed finally managed to relax. Their brother had gotten out of the way in time. 

Now, all Ed had to do was find a way out of here.

****

Ling was having a great time right now. 

While not the most romantic setting for a date night, Ling was just happy to be getting one. He wasn’t worried about getting out of here, he knew Ed could do it. Battered and bruised, Ed still looked beautiful under the glow of the torch she was holding. Her golden coloring seemed to almost flicker to life .  

She was holding onto her brother's hand, clearly overthinking things. Ling decided to distract her. 

“How did you get in here?” 

She blinked. 

“There wasn’t time to think. You were too distracted by Envy, and Gluttony was about to attack. I jumped in front of you, and then, well. We both ended up here. It’s okay. We can still get out of here. We- we’ll find the exit. And if we can’t,” A feral sort of grin took over Ed’s face. “I’ll make one.” 

Oh. Ling felt himself fall even deeper in love if that was even possible. “You jumped in front of a homunculus for me?” 

“Yeah, sure. I mean- it was you. ” Ed mumbled, turning a very attractive shade of red. “ ANYWAY we need to find an exit fast, before we starve to death down here.”

They walked for an indeterminate amount of time before Ed’s prediction became true. Ling felt himself weaken with hunger. A wave of dizziness washed over him and he fell down in the blood. 

Ed stopped, staring at him. “C’mon Ling, you have to get up.” 

Ling shook his head, hoping that the world would stop spinning. He knew his wife was tough, but this was a whole new meaning. She was as tired as he was, and still wanted to keep going.

“We need to rest Ed.” 

She humphed before-

He felt himself getting picked up. Oh . Was it weird that Ling felt kinda hot right now? Because this was objectively hot. 

“You still have people waiting for you, dumbass.” Somehow, Ed managed to carry him.

She marched on for a very impressive few minutes before collapsing herself. “...Okay maybe we need to take a break.” 

****

As his fiance boiled her shoe, (Ed said it would be edible, but warned that alchemically made food tasted terrible.) Ling had only one thought on his mind. 

“Hey, Ed.” Ed paused her stirring to look at him with gold bright eyes, and nothing could have stopped what fell out of his mouth. “Do you wanna have sex?” 

Ed turned bright red before sputtering, “WHAT? NO. NO ONE WILL BE HAVING SEX WHILE WE ARE SURROUNDED BY VARIOUS BODILY FLUIDS THAT AREN'T EVEN OURS.” 

Aw, dang it. Welp, time for Plan B. 

“...Is making out off the table?” 

Ed paused. “Do you have any blood in your mouth?” 

“Nope.”

Ed hummed in contemplation, “Alright, sure. We can kiss after we eat, but then we have to get going!” 

Ling couldn’t fight the grin off his face if he tried. Not that he would, what person wouldn’t be excited to make out with their extremely badass wife? Ling eagerly slurped down the (surprisingly decent) soup, then pulled Ed onto his lap and leaned in to kiss her-

Then Envy, the bastard , appeared.

Chapter Text

Envy was self aware enough to recognize that their situation could be a lot worse. Sure, they were in their brother's stomach, which was a failed gate, meaning no way out. And sure, they were currently standing in a sea of blood with no way to clean it off or see anything. And maybe , there was a stupid prince here who would rather cut off his head then help Envy. Buuuut ! The Fullmetal brat was here, and they were possibly the only person who could get them out! All told, it could be worse.

However, as they stared at the Fullmetal brat sitting in the stupid prince's lap, the prince scowling at Envy like he wanted to kill them for interrupting whatever it was they were about to do, Envy wondered if the worse situation would’ve been preferred. Sure , Envy would’ve been alone in a hellhole with no way out, slowly losing what little remains of their sanity, but at least they wouldn’t have to see this.  

The prince grabbed the brat’s attention again “Ignore him Ed, Let’s go back to what we were doing.” 

And to Envy’s shock the Brat seemed to actually be considering it.

“HEY YOU STUPID BRATS- SHOULD YOU REALLY BE DOING WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW?! I’M- I’M AN ENEMY YOU KNOW!!” 

The Fullmetal brat just looked at Envy like they were as threatening as a pillow. 

“STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT- I’M A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH-” 

The two of them just scoffed. Scoffed! At Envy! 

“Are you really?” Said the brat in a condescending tone. 

The asshole prince picked up- “Yeah, I mean, all you can really do is shapeshift. Not that great for fighting.” 

What would they know?! 

ENVY WAS WAY STRONGER THEN THESE STUPID HUMANS! 

“OH YEAH?! I STARTED ISHVAL I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW!” 

That seemed to finally get the Fullmetal brat to look at them. Instead of the predicted fear and rage- 

All they got was hatred and disgust. Like Envy was some lower being for doing that.  

“So, that was you? You killed an innocent child? You started Ishval? You were responsible for the deaths of Winry’s parents? For the deaths of countless Ishvalans?” 

The prince seemed to catch onto something Envy missed, because he tried grabbing the brat’s attention again. “Wife, are you sure this is a good idea-” 

“Ishval destroyed my hometown, Ling.” 

And whatever that meant was clearly enough for the prince, because the two of them took up fighting positions. 

Finally, Envy was getting the attention they deserved. 

****

Envy transformed and Ed was….

“Not impressed.”

For some reason, this got both Ling and the homunculus’ attention as they said, “NOT IMPRESSED?!”  

Ling turned to Ed as she handed her a freshly transmuted blood sword. “Thank you- Not impressed?! Ed, remember the impact he made in the forest?” 

“Yeah brat, remember that?!” 

Ed shrugged. “A giant monster isn’t impressive. Any crazy bastard can make something like him-” Ed pointed to Envy and turned to her fiance. “Also, I’m planning to beat god at it’s own game, you think this will impress me?”  

Ling blinked. “Oh, yeah.” 

Envy, however, seemed to take great offense to this. 

“ THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN OH YEAH-”  

Ed wondered how Al was doing. 

****

Ohshitohshitohshit-

****

Ling was worried for Ed. Not because of the fight, but- Ed was so- so sad when she looked at Envy for some reason. Sure, the fact that you could see the souls that made him was kind of weird , but they were also in a fight to the death right now.  

Then Envy threw Ed to the floor. 

He shouted for her to wake up, to fight, to do something. It didn’t work. 

She got herself fucking swallowed . 

Ling wasn’t- Ling couldn’t- 

He tried to reach her, but something in his ribs went sharp, and his world went blurry, and she was gone. Oh god. 

She was gone.

…

…

And then she punched Envy’s tooth out , complaining loudly.

“TRUTH, IT FUCKING REEKS IN HERE. DO YOU EVEN BRUSH YOUR TEETH?!” 

Ling loved his wife so fucking much. He would like her back now, thank you. He slammed his sword onto Envy’s foot to get him to yelp, allowing Ling to catch his fiance as she got launched out of the beast's maw. 

Ed regained her senses slowly, opening her eyes and giving Ling the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. 

Then she scowled and turned to Envy. 

“SERIOUSLY, IS ANY PART OF YOU ORIGINAL?! YOUR ATTACK WAS TO JUST SWALLOW ME? YOU UNORIGINAL PRICK! YOUR BROTHER DID THAT FIRST, AND AT LEAST HE HAD THE BENEFIT OF A POCKET DIMENSION. ALL I SAW DOWN THERE WAS SADNESS AND THE LAST DYING SHARDS OF YOUR CREATIVITY.” 

Envy gasped, “YOU TAKE THAT BACK-”

“NEVER!”

And they were back to fighting. 

Ling loved his wife so much.

****

Envy wasn’t pleased about forming a temporary alliance with the brat and the prince, unfortunately, they had to. Envy couldn’t do alchemy, and they doubted the brat would leave the prince behind, so they were all stuck together.  

Apparently, Fullmetal brat had discovered a way out of here, but it would require Envy’s philosopher's stone. Envy wasn’t sure what the prince brought to the team, but  apparently he was on it. 

They weren’t pleased at the idea of their philosopher's stone being used up, but the brat looked even less excited about the prospect. So at least Envy had that . For some reason, the screaming souls of their philosopher's stone quieted around the brat instead of their usual hateful screams towards Envy. Envy wasn’t sure what the brat did down there, but it had worked.

As the prince and the brat conspired together, Envy subtly brought a paw up to check their breath.

….Okay, maybe they should brush their teeth.

Chapter Text

Nina was still with Lan. It had been forever and nobody was back yet. Every hour, without fail, Nina had asked where Mama was. Every hour, without fail, all she received was a sad smile or a promise that her family would come back soon. The promises didn’t hold weight like Mama’s did. They seemed hollow. Except Lan Fan’s. 

Whenever Nina asked her, Lan would smile with the same convection Big Brother Al had about Mama, and say, “Your mother and Father are strong. They will survive this, if nothing else then to come back to you.” 

After the third hour, Lan gestured for Nina to come over. 

“Nina. I want you to have this sword.” 

Nina blinked as she was handed a dull blade. She made a few curious swipes with it. It made a swooshing noise she really liked. 

Nina smiled and felt her tail start to wag. “This is just like the pictures Mama showed me! Can I keep it?!” 

Lan nodded. 

“Yes, I figured My Lady would have shown you some weaponry. I will teach you beginner forms so you can wield it properly.” 

Nina held it in both hands and felt her tail really start wagging. 

Before they could get started, the doctor walked in. 

“Why.. why does the five year old have a sword?” 

Lan responded while Nina ran around with her new sword!!  

“Nina was feeling sad, so I gave her a sword.” 

Nina jumped over one of the chairs.

The doctor sighed. “Would her mother approve of this?” 

Nina skidded to a stop and turned to look at the doctor and responded at the same time as Lan.

“Yes.”

****

Ed did not want to use a philosopher's stone. They didn’t even want to think about touching the thing. 

Not after they’d been swallowed by Envy, waking up surrounded by those sad, sad, souls. All of them crying . Ed wondered at their ability to hear it. They thought it probably had to do with the fact that they were inside Envy.

It was so loud . Ed was practically deafened by their cries , their yells for justice, all overlapping. Ed didn’t know what to do with all that pain. They were crushed by overwhelming waves of grief . These- these poor people. 

They were all hurting so much and Ed couldn’t do anything. 

Or could they?

Ed started to hum. It was quiet, but it was the same one mom had sung just before she died. Ed closed their eyes, trying to hold onto the melody. Slowly, steadily, the voices started to quiet. The hands gripping onto them loosened. Ed kept humming. Eventually the song came to an end, and Ed reopened their eyes to the quiet. 

In a hushed voice, just loud enough for the souls to hear, they whispered, “I’m so sorry. I wish I could help you, but I need to leave.”  

No one spoke, but the hands fully released them, and Ed crawled their way back up. 

Envy broke into Ed’s reverie.

“Alright Brat, what’s your super smart plan to get us out of here?” 

Ed hated his voice. Every time the homunculus breathed, Ed could hear the suffering souls behind it. Ed hated the way Envy took their voices, their bodies, their lives, from them and used them without remorse.

Ed willed themself to calm down. 

“This is a failed gate of Truth right?” 

Envy nodded. 

“Well, maybe we could get out of here using the real one. Theoretically, if I deconstructed and then reconstructed myself, it would open a gate we could use to get back to our world. That’s what we need you for, because to do that we’re gonna have to pay the price. ” 

Envy and Ling paused. 

“How steep is the price?” 

Ed answered honestly. 

“More than you're willing to pay .” 

****

Ling was worried about his wife. Clearly this was affecting her more than she let on.

He leaned into her and whispered in Xingese, “What’s wrong?” 

She responded in the same language, “Honored husband, when it happened that I found myself deep in the belly of the beast-man-made-of-magic, the spirit flesh and blood of his body called out to my person. I could not bear to be made witness to their anguished cries.” 

Ling pressed onwards, ignoring Envy’s, “What the hell are you two saying?”

“Is that what took you so long to get out of there?” 

Ed nodded. “Little was within my power, but to them I gave a song of deep mourning and my sincerest apologies. Would that I could do more for them. They ought to possess their own freedoms.”  

Ling held his (kind, beautiful,) fiance's hand and murmured, “You did everything you could. I’m sure they understand.” 

A moment of silence passed before they felt (and smelled) Envy breathing on them. They turned to face him. 

“Are you two done speaking in a language I can’t understand?! I would like to get out of here!” 

His wife took a deep breath, bracing herself to begin the transmutation, and hesitated. Ling understood that his wife didn’t kill, but it extended further than he thought. 

She turned to Ling, “This might not work out for me. If so, you have warn everyone about what these guys are doing.”  

Oh, Eden. As if Ling would give you permission to give up. Dying was not an option. Not today. 

“Tell them yourself. My priority is Xing.” 

His wife furrowed her golden brow, glaring. 

Ling tilted his head at her, not backing down. “You have people waiting for you back there.”

She nodded, but hesitated again in front of the circle. 

Envy seemed to be tired of waiting and cut in. “Quit being so childish. They aren’t really people anymore, they’re just energy. So get a move on and use it. ” 

Ed grimaced, but nodded.

His wife brought her hands together, and- oh, it was almost like she was praying. 

Oh. Of course.

Ling’s vision went white as he jumped into the gate, and he realized what it was Ed believed in.  

It was people. Love. Compassion. 

Ed, his strong, kind, beautiful fiance, had seen the worst in people, and she still loved them. She believed in helping others, in people making each other better . Of course that was why Envy made her so sad! The homunculus was never her concern , because she didn’t see a monster when she looked at his body. All she saw were people. People she couldn’t help. People who deserved to live . 

Ed believed in compassion. 

Ed might be compassion.

****

Ed recognized this place. They had been here before. They had been pulled through that gate. 

The gate next to theirs, however, was new. Ed walked toward it and saw-

Oh.

Al . 

Their little brother's body was sitting in front of the? her? Gate. The body looked so malnourished, so frail, so broken. Tears began to well up in their eyes as they called out for Al, running toward her. Little arms sprouted from their gate, tugging them away, but Ed wouldn’t let them. 

“AL!!!” Ed screamed.

Al turned to look at Ed. 

“C’MON, LET'S GO!” 

Al shook her head. 

Nononono please Al, they needed you, please!-  

“I can’t. I can only leave with my own soul. I’m sorry.” 

The hands pulled harder and Ed stumbled, getting pulled into their gate. The doors between them swung shut with a boom, but Ed wasn’t done talking to their little brother yet. 

They swung at the door, breaking it open and pointed at Al. “ALPHONSE! I’M COMING BACK! I PROMISE! I’M COMING BACK FOR YOU! JUST WAIT FOR ME!” 

The gate dragged them back in, but through the narrow gap of the doors, Ed saw what they had spent almost five years hoping for.

Al was smiling. 

Chapter Text

Ed opened their eyes to see everyone had been safely regurgitated by Gluttony. Without even looking, Ed tiredly lifted her hand to her fiance, who gave her a fist bump. Nice.  

“BROTHER! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!” Al shouted, sweeping her up in a massive hug. Double nice. 

“I’m sorry we got separated Al. I’m glad you're okay.” 

Al squeezed her tighter. Triple nice.

Things were going great-

“So… The Elric brothers.” Fuck.

Ed turned her head to look at who the hell had just interrupted Elric Reunion Time™ to see- 

“Of course the deadbeat is here- wait no, you're not that asshole. Nevermind. Still, fuck you.” 

Then the deadbeat lookalike blinked. 

“...You don’t know where your father is?”

Ed and Al deadpanned in tandem. “No.”

“And good fucking riddance!” Ed tacked on.

Trying to recover, the ass gestured at them. “Come here. Your arm is broken and your brother needs a new hand.”

Then the fucker did it. 

Sans circle. Sans equivalent exchange. 

What the fuck, man.

Was it too much to ask for just one nice moment?!

****

Ling was pinned down. The man called Father (Seriously, what was his deal?) had somehow managed to disable alchemy. His wife was retrained. They were surrounded by homunculi.

Somehow though, none of these things were his biggest worry, because Ed was frozen. She was a woman of action. Ed never, ever froze.

Shit . That was a really bad sign for Ling.

The man. The beast.  The enemy stepped closer to Ling. 

Double shit.  

Ed and Al were safe, they were strategically important. They would be okay. Ling himself had no such guarantee. This ‘Father’ was going to kill him . 

Ling was going to die and his wife would have to watch.

Triple shit.

 A sudden eye, spouting blood, appeared in the middle of ‘Father’s’ face. 

What the fuck.

“A philosopher's stone?” His wife uttered. 

Ah, that explained the blood, thanks wife-

‘Father’ hummed. “I may yet find a use for this boy.”

A mean grin split Envy’s face like a gash. “Oh, yes. Father is going to make your little Princey into a homunculus.”

Oh. Wait- 

This was good. Ling could work with this. Honestly, they were just giving him a philosopher's stone? He had a chance to live. Hell, this was his chance to get everything he’d been searching for. This was good , so why-

Why did Ed look so sad? 

He watched his wife struggle to reach him-

Oh.

She was worried. Her beautiful golden eyes filled with tears, as she looked at him. Ling had done that. He hated himself for it, a bit, but he was out of options. 

Ling stared at the stone that would be either his salvation or his doom,  and felt his resolve harden.

He had to do this. For Ed. For Xing. 

Dying was not an option. Not today. 

“Eden.” She stopped struggling. 

“Don’t interfere.” She started crying. 

Ling felt his heart be torn in two. “I want this.” 

Her golden lashes were clumping together from the tears. 

“Ling please .” 

He gave his wife a sad smile. “I can do it. I love you.”

In the next moment, his world went dark.

****

When Greed came face to face with the previous owner of his body, he was expecting the mind to be weird. The kid let himself get possessed for fuck’s sake.

This-

This topped even his worst expectations.

Greed was surrounded by pictures of a blonde(?) (No, shinier than that.) teen. With a growing dread, Greed turned to look at his host, ready to ask ‘hey what the fuck.’

He was met with a kid leafing through the papers surrounding them. 

“Hey! What the fuck ?” 

The teen paused in whatever he was doing exactly, to look at Greed. 

“Hm? Oh. I’ll let you use my body for now. I can’t squander this chance.”

Greed hadn’t really been asking, but still- “Thanks- but no what the hell are you doing-“ 

The teen blinked. “Oh, I’m looking through love poems to figure out the right one for Ed. I fear I may have upset her, so this is crucial.” 

“Ed?” 

The teen brightened and Greed felt as though he had just made a terrible mistake.

“Oh! Ed’s my fiancé! She’s so strong! She’s golden too can you believe it-“

Greed was right, he already regretted this.

****

Ed wasn’t sure what the fuck just happened, but somehow they got out of Envy’s grasp and was now chasing after her husband. They think at some point a preteen claims they weren’t into women, which ok, Ed wasn’t into you either small child. Then they ran into Scar, and told him the truth so he started wrecking shit- 

All in all, what Ed considers to be a good escape. As Ed Started catching up to Ling (Greed 2? Greedling?), they started calling for Ling. Greedling (there we go that’ll work), turned to Ed, “That’s not my name! I’m Greed!” As Greed ( Actually, Ed can tell them apart, let's just stick to names.) raised his shield, Ed got into position only for Greed to stop. “Wait. You are Ed right?” Ed nodded as Greed fully lowered his arms. “I don’t fight women.” Ed cracked their knuckles. “Nice of you to make this easy for me then. …..Again.” As Ed got ready to throw the first punch, they saw Greed's face change- Ling! “Ling! You're still in there!” Her fiance smiled “The weddings still on, I hope you know. Not getting rid of me that easily. I just have to deal with this first.” After that Greed took over again. “Oh, fuck me, why did it have to be a lovesick teenager.” 

Now armed with the confirmation they wanted, Ed ran back to where Al was. 

Ed yelled over their shoulder “YOU GOT THIS YOU IDIOT PRINCE!”

****

Al was winning . 

First, her Brother came back (mostly) unharmed. Al had never been happier to see anything get thrown up. Al had her sun, her brother back, and the universe felt right again. Al felt amazing . All she needed now was Nina, and everything would be perfect. 

Second, the prince was pretty much dead. She didn’t have to deal with this guy marrying her brother, and taking her away forever. If the time spent separated had taught Al anything, it was that she needed her brother. Sadly not a win for Brother, but it was a win for Al. 

Except.

Except Brother just had to check if Ling was still in there.

Damn.

Brother got back, she spoke in a rush, “Ling’s possessed-” 

“YES!”

Brother scowled at her. Oh. Al had said that out loud. Whoops. 

“SHE’S NOT DEAD AL, SHE'S STILL IN THERE.”

“TRUTH DAMN IT-”

Chapter Text

Envy decided the brat needed a shower. Not because they liked the brat or anything. It was just- look, Envy’s head was finally quiet whenever they were around the brat, and Envy appreciated that. Being just slightly better than the rest of humans still ment the brat fucking sucked though, and Envy would be glad when they died. 

Also, the brat fucking reeked. 

Seriously. Apparently blood, sweat, and Envy’s own bodily fluids were a deadly combo. 

Ten minutes later, Envy decided the brat had bathed enough and slammed open the door. 

“Alright brat, Let’s get a move on-”

-Only to be met with a completely nude brat, clearly having just stepped out of the shower. To make this situation worse , apparently the brat had been a girl the whole fucking time.

Envy didn’t even bother dodging the shampoo bottle thrown at them. 

****

Greed was already having difficulties with this body. Seriously, he would like to be able to use both his arms. At the same time. (No he didn’t care if you needed it to write another poem, Ling.)

Needless to say, when the kid demanded, ‘ We gotta find Ed,’ Greed was less than inclined to listen.

“No, brat. We’re staying here. Why do you even wanna find Ed right now?” 

‘ We gotta go right now. I feel that I am missing something I would very much like to be seeing.’

Greed grimaced at the response. Gross . “Ew. I’m not finding a teenage girl so you can slobber all over her. What would you even be missing?” 

At the influx of very explicit mental images of a teenage girl Ling thought up, Greed let out a very defeated groan. 

(Even if Ed was the brats' fiancé, Greed didn’t even want nor need to see that.)

“GOD DAMMIT! IS THAT ALL YOU THINK ABOUT?! I DON’T WANNA SEE THIS SHIT!”

****

For once, Ed was actually happy to see the Bastard. After the whole Envy shower incident and subsequent asskicking, Ed was glad to see someone they semi-trusted. Granted, That Bastard was sitting next to the bitch-ass Fuhrer, (Ma’am privileges revoked, His Royal Shitstain goes by sir now.) so Ed’s happiness was somewhat limited. 

Ed decided they’d seen enough of this shit, and wanted out. “I’m going to leave the military-” 

“Do that, and your friend- Winry, was it? -Will be killed.” 

Well then. Ed had been trying to give the ass an easy way out, but apparently he refused to take it. 

“Am I clear?” The fucker continued.

You should have let me go when you had the chance.  

“Crystal, sir.”  

Ed would not rest until this shithole government had been burned to the ground.  

****

Roy was not pleased by the situation he’d found himself in. While happy to see the Elric brothers alive, he’d also just discovered that they were essentially sacrifices. To make matters worse, Eden had essentially just disrespected Wrath right to his face, which meant an even looser cannon than normal.

On top of all that , Eden looked like she was struggling to breathe. He hoped she hadn’t gotten badly injured fighting Gluttony after his retreat. 

“Fullmetal.” 

Eden looked at him. “What, Bastard?” 

“Are you alright? They didn’t hurt you, did they?” 

Eden waved him off, checking on Alphonse. (Even though Alphonse was made of armor and thus, fairly immune to being stabbed.)

“I’m fine, Bastard.” 

“You’re breathing like you have hurt ribs.”

“I’m fine.” Fullmetal huffed. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll ask Hawkeye about it later.”

Well, then. He's sure that won't cause any problems. 

****

After one extremely worried phone call to Winry, (On Ed’s end. Winry was a little confused about why their weekly call was so early, but was oblivious to their tension.) Ed was ready to embark on an adventure. 

They stepped out of the phone box, only to find themself face-to-face with Greed. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Greed had a box in one hand, and the other in a pocket. 

Greed scoffed. “Just so we’re clear, I’m not doing this because the brat told me to. I’m doing this because I wanna.” 

Ed blinked, and Greed shoved a scrap of fabric with Xingese writing on it. “The brat said that one was for someone named Lan, and this- ” He handed Ed the box. “-is for you.” 

Ed opened it to reveal….

“ARE ALL OF THESE FUCKING LOVE POEMS?! THERE'S SO MANY!” 

****

Al understood that they had to split up. 

Brother needed to ask Hawkeye to check her breathing, and Al needed to pick up Nina and hand the note off to Lan Fan. 

Al understood , but they had just gotten Brother back, and weren't exactly happy being separated again.  

Al knocked on Doctor Knox’s door.

It opened a crack. “Who is it?” 

“Al.” 

The door opened a little further. “What do you think of Mustang?” 

Al hummed. 

“Do you want the honest answer? Because if so, I kind of hate that he got Brother in the military. I appreciate all he has done for us, but I hate that he did that to Ed.” 

The door swung open, and Al was face to face with the Doctor. 

“C’mon in, kid. Nina’s been worried sick.”  

As soon as Al stepped in, their hands were filled with one very happy Nina. Her tail wagged a mile a minute. 

“BIG BROTHER AL!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!” 

If Al could smile, she would be beaming right now. “Hello Nina! I missed you too. Brother will be back soon, she’s asking Hawkeye a question right now.” Nina tilted her head and her tail slowed down. “Is she okay?” 

Al nodded. Then she noticed what was in Nina’s hands. 

“Is that a sword?”

Nina’s tail picked up speed again and she beamed. “Yeah! Lan gave me the sword and started teaching me forms!”  

Al nodded, looking over the blade. Dull, good. “That’s nice.” 

As if summoned, Lan appeared. “Alphonse. Where are My Lord and Lady?” 

Alphonse handed her the scrap of fabric. 

“Brother is talking to Hawkeye about a …recent breathing issue. As for Ling,” Al sighed, “He got himself possessed. He’s still in there though, if the mountain of love poems he gave Ed is any sign.” 

Lan nodded solemnly. “My lord completed his task. I have faith he will see it through.”

Chapter Text

Greed was sitting on top of the roof. He took a deep breath in, enjoying the breeze. It looked like the brat was keeping his promise to give Greed some quiet time in exchange for that favor. Greed had no idea how Ling had managed to write so many love poems for one person in three hours, but by god, that little shit had delivered . Greed savored the quiet. He was determined to make the best of his last minute of beautiful, beautiful silence.

Greed had about 15 seconds left when Wrath showed up. 

“It looks like that body is treating you well.” 

“Yeah.” Greed sighed. “Hey, did your host cause problems with your limbs too? The brat keeps stealing my left arm to write love poems.” 

Wrath blinked. 

That was not a good sign for Greed. 

“What? No. That’s…. new.” 

Greed sighed. Fuck him, he guessed. “Damn. Oh well, I still can’t believe the little shit actually gave up his body!” 

Wrath chuckled. “Yes. Human are so stupid-”

“Shut the hell up. Don’t underestimate humans.”

Well, Greed thought, you could’ve waited before pulling a stunt like that you little shit. 

****

After he finished fixing up the mess left behind from the fight with Scar, Ed headed to Hawkeye’s. Normally, Ed would’ve tried putting their personal flair on things, but this breathing thing was really becoming a problem. One that needed to be fixed now. Ed banged on Hawkeye's door. Experimentally taking a deep breath while they waited. Their chest felt tight, like their lungs couldn’t get enough air. 

The door opened and Hayate tackled Ed. They wheezed as what little air had made its way into their lungs left in a rush . 

Hawkeye peered down at them, laying on the floor, gasping for breath. 

“Eden- are you ok?” 

Ed managed to wheeze out, “No, and I have questions.” 

****

Hawkeye took Eden inside and sat her down. 

“What happened?”

“Nothing!”

Hawkeye squinted suspiciously at Eden.

“Seriously! I checked in the shower, I felt fine and my side was barely even bruised. Then I got dressed and talked to Bradley and all the sudden it was harder to breathe than ever!”

Hawkeye hummed. She had a suspicion she knew what Eden’s problem was.

“After you got dressed, you said?”

“Yeah, so?”

Hawkeye stared at Eden.

“...Eden, How long has it been hard for you to breathe?” 

Eden blinked. “A month, but it got bad in the last week or so.” 

Hawkeye paused her tea pouring to look at Ed. “....And when was the last time you checked your bra sizing?”

Eden stared at Hawkeye blankly. “I- what?”

“Eden, your chest is probably just growing. You just need to size up.” 

“Wait. They do that?!”  

****

Nina didn’t know what was going on. 

A strange kid about Nina’s size showed up, and then Lan attacked them. They were about to start throwing knives when the doctor walked over to shout at them both to calm down. 

Nina went up to Lan and patted her head. Getting yelled at was scary! 

The person turned to Nina and scoffed.  “Let me guess, you know The Fullmetal Alchemist too? What a con! Here I thought she was going to be a tall, handsome, man-” 

What. 

“What did you say about Mama?” 

The person blinked. “Your mother? Huh. Anyway, I thought the Fullmetal Alchemist was going to be a man-” 

Nina didn’t even think before chasing him with her sword. 

“ TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT MAMA!”

“STOP CHASING ME!”

“NO!”

****

Al watched Nina chase down Mei, a 12-year-old, with a sword, overcome with one singular emotion. Pride. 

Yes, child. We fight people who talk bad about Brother, you are learning well.  

Five rounds later, when Nina showed no signs of stopping anytime soon, Al decided it was time to intervene. Al scooped Nina up as she ran past.

“Lemme down!” She squirmed. 

“No.” 

Al turned to Mei. “Sorry, we can get protective over Brother. She raised us both, so it’s an honor thing.” 

Mei blinked. “Why do you call her brother? Is this an Amestris thing?” 

Al sighed. 

Ah, that explained it. “Yes. You’re going to need to learn these things if you're planning to stay in the country. Lan should have the notes on how we do things here.” 

Lan had a glint in her eye that Al recognized as trouble. “Lan, teach her the proper manners. Please.” 

Lan sighed. “ Fine. ” 

Al walked towards the door, a still-squirming Nina in hand, when Mei stopped them. 

“Do you look like your Brother?” 

Al blinked. “No. I’m taller, and have been told I’m more handsome.” 

That was just objective truth . Al was taller than Brother, and had been told they were more handsome. Mei, for some reason, turned red.

Huh. Weird.

Anyway , time to find Brother. 

****

Ed, in a distinctly better fitting bra (lent to them by Hawkeye), could finally breathe properly. (Look, Ed had known breasts grew, but it hadn’t occurred that it would actually apply to them. Besides- how were they supposed to know bras came in more than one size?!) Ed took a deep breath. That felt so much better.  

Ed put their shirt on, and turned to check the mirror. 

Ah . That was unfortunate. 

Their breasts were still visible. That was new. Not even the looseness of their usual clothes could hide their chest. Ed tried adjusting their shirt, but it just made them more noticeable .  

Ed stepped out to show Hawkeye, feeling weird. Something must’ve shown on their face, because Hawkeye spoke up.

“Is something wrong Eden? We can go out and get another size if this one doesn't fit you.”  

Ed shook their head. “No, this one is fine… I just…will they keep getting bigger?”  

Hawkeye blinked. “Probably. Who knows, you're still young. Why? Do you not like how they feel?” 

“No, that’s not it. I think I look okay, it’s just weird for me right now. I’ll probably get used to it. I’m probably just uncomfortable because my body changed so quickly, and I wasn’t ready.”

Hawkeye nodded.

Ed hesitated. “Also… It's just- I don’t know if I deserve them? It’s hard to describe. Like- It's- nevermind. It's stupid. Anyway, if they get much bigger, I’m going to have a harder time doing things, and that sucks.”  

Hawkeye started laughing.

Ed didn’t get it, they had a legitimate concern!

Chapter Text

Al happily walked back to the hotel room. Brother should be there already, and Nina was with (read: inside) Al.  She was looking forward to a happy reunion for Nina and Brother. Al just hoped that Hawkeye had been able to fix Brother’s breathing issues. 

As soon as Al walked into the lobby of the hotel, she could hear Nina’s tail start quietly thumping against their chest. Nina must be able to smell Brother. Getting closer, Nina began excitedly vibrating and her tail picked up speed. 

Al walked up to the door before whispering to Nina, “Don’t come out until I tell you, let’s surprise Brother.” 

Nina giggled but agreed. 

Al opened the door to see Brother already turning to look at Al, a happy smile already on her-

Wait. 

When did Brother's chest become visible when she wore clothing? It wasn’t like that before. 

“Um. Hello Brother… that’s new.” 

Brother sighed. “Yeah, turns out they grow.” 

Oh. Well now Al felt stupid. “Well, that’s unfortunate. Your center of gravity is going to change.” 

Brother nodded “Yeah, but at least I can breathe.”

****

Nina knows Big Brother Al told her to wait, but she practically vibrating with the need to see Mama. She was right there, and Nina wanted to see her. It took entirely too long for Big Brother Al to remove her head. Nina immediately launched herself into Mama's warm arms. 

“MAMA!!” 

She caught Nina just like she always did (always would), and gave Nina a loving smile. Nina loved that smile.

“Nina! I missed you, sweetheart. I’m sorry it took me so long to come back to you.” 

Nina felt her tail wagging so fast her body was shaking as she shoved her face into Mama. Mama was here. Everything was okay again. 

Nina moved her head to look at Mama's face. It was full of love (it always was when she looked at Nina), but Nina could see guilt in it too. That wouldn't stand! 

“It’s okay Mama. It was only a day or two. I missed you too! Don’t feel sad, okay!” 

Mama smiled softly at her. “Alright Nina.”

Mama pulled Nina and Al into a cuddle, radiating joy and comfort. It was really nice, but Nina was a little puzzled. 

“Where’s Papa?” 

Mama stiffened. “Papa.. pulled a stupid fucking move. She got her body a roommate, and is now fighting said roommate.” 

Oh. Well that explained it. Papa couldn’t come to see her because Papa hasn’t won the battle yet.

“Papa’s coming back though, right?” 

Mama inhaled sharply, but made Nina look into her eyes. “Nina, If Papa isn’t back within a couple of months, I’ll kick her ass myself. I promise ” 

Oh. 

Mama was mad.  

****

Roy was driving when he saw the Elric Brothers. (No sign of Nina, but the brothers have somehow kept her hidden for this long, and they wouldn’t leave without her.) They were walking around asking people about… something. 

Roy pulled over and rolled down the window. “Fullmetal.” 

Eden turned to him with neutral scowl #2, “What, Bastard?” 

Roy sighed. “Get in.” 

As Eden climbed into the front, Alphonse discreetly took their arm off, allowing Nina out to crawl into Eden’s lap. (So that was where she had been!)

As Roy briefly looked over before starting the car up again. He saw- 

“When did you grow breasts?! No. Put them back!” 

Eden floundered. “Not that's any of your business, but apparently I’ve been wearing an improperly fitted bra for a while. Also what do you mean put them back?!” 

Roy shook his head while driving. “No. You’re too young-” 

“The FUCK do you mean too young-” 

“-to be having those. You get to have those when you're grown-” 

“I’m already engaged and have a kid I think I can handle tits- ” 

“-not when you're-” 

“Roy.” 

Roy stopped in his tracks. Eden rarely called him by his name. 

“Roy, I’m almost 16. This was going to happen. You have to let this go.” 

Roy stared at Eden, feeling tears try to well in his eyes. His little girl was growing up. It had all happened practically overnight (the breast thing actually had happened overnight), and Roy wasn’t ready for this. He paused, reminiscing on the first time he’d met Eden and Alphonse. 

He could've almost sworn he could still hear Eden yelling at him. 

“BASTARD, WATCH THE FUCKING ROAD!!! IF YOU KEEP SWERVING LIKE THIS WE ARE GOING TO DIE-” 

****

When The Bastard had finally managed to calm down enough to drive straight(ish), Ed hesitated. They didn’t want to ask, they didn’t like being in debt. It wasn’t Equivalent. Ed hated when things weren't equivalent. But- The Bastard had a much better information network than they did. Truth damn it all.

“Hey. Bastard,” 

He hummed in response. 

“If you hear anything about Mei Chang, could you let us know? We kinda need them for our bodies, even though I don’t like being in debt-” 

“Speaking of being in debt, give me my money back..” 

Ed blinked. “Oh yeah, like 500 cenz, right?” 

Ed barely had time to ground themself and Nina before The Bastard started really swerving . 

“IT WAS 520 CENS! STOP TRYING TO CHEAT ME OUT OF IT.” 

“TRUTH DAMMIT BASTARD KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD YOU ARE GOING TO KILL ALL OF US BEFORE THE GOVERNMENT GETS THE CHANCE.”

The Bastard swerved violently then humphed like they hadn’t almost just killed everyone. 

Ed snipped. “Jeez, you're cheap.” 

The Bastard mumbled something under their breath, but Ed couldn’t hear it. Nina looked confused, so Ed was going to make an educated guess that it was nonsense. 

When they finally reached their destination, Ed let Nina crawl back into Al, then stepped out. They looked at The Bastard. 

“I’ll hold onto the 500 cenz until you become fuhrer.”  

The Bastard stiffened. “Who told you?” 

“Lieutenant Hawkeye. She told me about Ishval, too.”

The Bastard accepted this. “Fullmetal. You know you’ll need to pay me back eventually.”

“And when that time comes, I'll borrow money from you again. And I'll give it back when you turn this country into a democracy- And when you get that back, I'll borrow from you again and make you agree to something else.”

Bastard blinked. 

Ed hoped she picked up what Ed might never be able to say to her. 

You aren’t allowed to die. I won’t allow it. I have too much to thank you for, but I’m not ready to tell you. Not now.

The Bastard sighed. Then she looked fondly at Ed. “I’m never getting rid of you, am I?”  

Ed laughed. “You're the one who enlisted a traumatized orphan! Don’t be surprised when they refuse to leave!”

Chapter Text

Fu had been waiting in the Elrics hotel room for a while. He was getting a little antsy. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the kids, they were genuinely good people, but he had been sitting here for a couple of hours. He didn’t even know where his kids were. When they finally got back, he let out a sigh he didn’t even know he was holding in. 

Three rounds of questioning about where he came from (including a weird question about what color Ed was wearing the last time he saw them), later  everyone had finally calmed down. Nina walked over and gently put his hand on her head for Pats. He smiled and indulged her, then turned to Ed. 

“I’m willing to admit I was getting tired. Now, where are the Young Lord and my granddaughter? Did something happen?” 

Ed turned to have a silent conversation with Al, then turned back to him. “Well…. Let's go in order shall we?”

Fu didn’t like the sound of that. 

“Soooo, good news! Ling courted me properly by fighting and capturing a homunculus, so we’re engaged now.” 

Huh. Well then. Apparently The Young Lord actually managed to sway her. Miracles really did happen. 

His Young Lady continued. “Then we found out…well. Fu, you might want to sit down for this, we’ll go see her when we’re done catching you up.” 

Fu sat down, but was tense. He really didn’t like that. 

His Young Lady inhaled deeply.  “Lan gave up her arm in a battle with a separate homunculus. She used it as a distraction so she and Ling could escape the deadlier of the two.” 

That-

No. 

They had to be mistaken.

Not his granddaughter. 

He shook himself. It wasn’t the end of the world. No matter how it felt.

She still had an arm and Ling The Young Lord was safe- 

Wait. 

Where was his Grandson Young Lord? 

“My- my Lady. Where is the Young Lord?” 

A profound grief found its way into her eyes. 

“Ling got her philosopher's stone, but became possessed by a homunculus in the process.” 

****

After taking Fu to Lan, stopping them from slapping her, and then awkwardly comforting Fu afterwards, Ed decided it was time to go to the library. 

When they got there, Ed decided Nina deserved a little fun. Ed took a moment to track down one of their favorite books when they were 5.  “ Exploring the Elements.” It was a perfect read for Nina, with colorful pictures and explanations for big words. She settled Nina down on the floor next to Al, and went off to go look in another section. 

What could go wrong in 5 minutes?

****

Nina was reading the interesting book Mama gave her when she smelled something coming. It kinda smelled like the big meanies Mama’d fought, so Nina was already a bit tense. She heard it coming closer, and grabbed Big Brother Al’s hand. She squeezed twice. The sign everyone agreed on. Something Dangerous. When It came over, looking like someone just a little older than her, Nina had to hold back the growl trying to climb up her throat. 

She really had to try to hold back her growl when It walked closer to her. “Hi! My name is Selim! Wanna be friends?” 

No.  

Nina wanted you as far as possible away from her family.  

****

Armstrong was happy to catch Young Eden in the Library. He told them about heading North, and gave her the letter for his sister. (For all the good it would do them.) 

Young Eden excitedly held the letter, and exclaimed, “I’ll need to buy Nina a coat! Maybe some boots too-” 

Wait. Just Young Nina?

“Young Eden. Do you already have winter gear?” 

Young Eden blinked. “I have my jacket.” 

That was not good. “Young Eden, you need winter gear. It is extremely cold up North. With your automail, you could get frostbite.”  

Young Eden shifted a little, “...I think I’ll be fine-” 

“Young Eden, please. If not for me, then imagine how your daughter will react.” 

Young Eden deflated. “Okay…” 

****

Ed was always happy to see Armstrong, but she was really happy about the information she had given them. They would go North! Ed had originally only wanted to buy gear for Nina, but Armstrong insisted that Ed buy some for themself too. 

As Ed got closer to Nina and Al, they started feeling waves of.. Something.

Ed couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was that made their hair stand on end. Gun to their head, they’d probably describe it as waves of pain, anger, and sadness. Ed sped around the corner, and Nina ran up to them, hiding behind their legs. They put their hand on Nina’s head and looked over to Al to see-

Some kid. Instead of the smile that usually creeped onto Ed’s face when they saw a kid, it instinctively turned into a scowl. The waves coming from that- well, Ed hesitated to call that thing a kid, but they didn’t have a better word. 

To top it all off, His Royal Shitstain appeared 

“Ah, Fullmetal. Why don’t you come over for dinner? I’m sure Selim would love it if his new friend and his favorite alchemist came over for dinner.” 

Ed looked down at Nina, baring her teeth, then looked back at him. 

Ah. 

This was a threat. Nina hadn’t called her Mama yet, thank Truth. (And didn’t that thought just make them feel dirty.) So they couldn’t know she was anything other than some kid who liked them. 

Good. Ed would keep it that way.

“Sorry sir, we have things we have to do.” 

You can pry my daughter out of my cold, dead, lifeless hands.  

****

Al knew the kid was trouble the moment Nina picked up on it.

They knew the kid was danger the moment Brother scowled at a child. Brother loved kids, Al knew this. For her to instinctively scowl at one, meant this kid was giving off rancid vibes.  

So yes, Al had a grudge against an 8 year old, but they had probable cause.

Chapter Text

Ed took them shopping for winter supplies. After quickly getting themself sorted with heavy duty winter boots, a red winter coat, and some extra hats, mittens, and scarves, it was time for Nina.

This was far more important than Ed’s supplies, clearly.

This time Ed was more thorough. Their stuff was good quality, sure, but Nina deserved the best. Unfortunately, hats were out of the question, but a long pink coat with a very good hood would do. Ed could even transmute it to have a patch so Nina could have her tail out later. Nina's mittens made sure her hands were warm, but still allowed her some dexterity. Finally, they found some snow boots that fit and allowed Nina to move her feet comfortably. 

Ed put it on Nina to make sure it all fit together, and Nina turned to Ed-

And Ed felt her heart melt.  

Nina- 

She- 

She looked so cute. Her face was just a small circle thanks to the hood, but what little was there was looking at Ed in excitement. Her little arms stuck out in an ‘A’ position, ending in mittens. 

“How do I look Mama?”

Ed smiled at her daughter. “Perfect, Nina. You look perfect.” 

****

Izumi was happy that Ed was on the line when she picked up the phone.  Ed hadn’t called in a while and she was getting worried. Plus, she wanted to know how the courting thing was going. 

“Ed! How’s the whole- courting thing going? They do it?” 

She could practically hear Ed’s face flushing. Ah, young love. “Um- yeah. We’re engaged now.”

Izumi could feel the feral grin take over her face. “Sig!” Her husband appeared. 

“Ed’s engaged now!” Sig had tears welling up in his eyes, the big sap. 

“Oh?” Izumi turned back to the phone. “When are you gonna bring her around? Me and Sig have a shovel talk to give.” 

Izumi could hear Ed shift on the other side of the line. “Ah- well, slight issue. She’s currently fighting a recent body roommate for control.” 

Well. That certainly would cause issues. “I’ll figure out a way to get my message across regardless, don’t you worry Eden.” 

“I- okay Teacher. Anyway, we wanted to tell you something.”

Hm. This was serious. “Go on Ed.”

She could hear her daughter inhale sharply. “Selim Bradley tried making friends with Nina, and the Fuhrer invited us for dinner.” 

Ah. They were being watched. 

No-

Ed wanted her to know that Izumi herself was in danger somehow.  

“Don’t worry Ed. I’m gonna go make some stew ok?” 

They won’t even get the chance to get to me.  

****

Nina was excited to go North. Apparently, it was always snowy up there, and Nina wanted to make a snowman. Also once they got there, Mama said she could have her tail out because it was covered in fur. 

On the train, Mama gave her a lesson on how snow was made. It was frozen rain, how cool! 

On the walk to Brin- Briggs (She thought that was right?) Nina made a fun discovery. She could walk on top of the snow! It was so fun! She was now almost eye level with Mama! She stomped as hard as she could and the snow still didn’t break! 

Nina turned to Mama to see- 

“Aw, why can’t you and Big Brother Al walk on top of the Snow?!” 

Mama smiled. “Nina, we're too heavy. I have two automail limbs, and Al is made of metal.” 

Nina stomped her foot. “No fair! I want you two to experience this too! This- um. Mama, what’s happening?” 

Mama chuckled. “It's been unusually warm outside, so the top layer of snow must’ve melted a little during the day and then froze into a more solid layer of ice overnight, allowing you to stand on it.” 

Nina hummed. “So. It turns into rain and then back into snow?” 

Mama smiled. “Pretty much. You’re so clever! Now, let's get going.” 

****

Ed was very glad Armstrong had convinced them to wear proper winter gear. It was blizzarding, which was bad news. Ed was very thankful for the bright pink coat that made it easier for them to keep an eye on Nina. Al walked in front of them, trying to make it easier for Ed to make it through the snow. Unfortunately, Al was much taller than Ed , and her footsteps were too far apart to be helpful. 

“Hey Al, I hate to ask this of you, but could you drag your feet? I need to conserve energy, and your steps are a bit bigger than mine.” 

Al nodded. “Sure Brother. At least Nina’s having a good time.”  

Ed looked over to Nina who was humming a song to herself while jumping around. She smiled. “Yeah. I’ll have to teach her some snow songs.”

Nina turned to Ed and smiled “Mama! Carry me!”  

“Sure.” 

Things could be worse.

Then Al got net-gunned.

****

Oliver Armstrong was surprised to see a giant suit of armor with a voice of a 14 year old. She was even more surprised when she saw a teenage girl holding a five year old with a tail. It wouldn’t do to relax though, anyone could be an enemy. She walked up to the teenage girl and barked, 

“Put your arms up.” 

The girl, still holding a child, looked her in the eye. 

“Respectfully, Ma’am, I’m holding a 5 year old. No.” 

Ah. 

“Sorry Ma’am, but Brother would rather saw-off her arms then put Nina in danger.” The armored one spoke. 

Interesting. She liked the fire in these kids. If they continue surprising her with this, she may finally have heirs for the Armstrongs. 

Oliver watched them as she tore up her little brother’s letter. The little girl tugged on the teenager's arm to be put down. She (Nina?) waddled over to her. 

“Hi Ma’am! I like your sword! I just started learning. Anyway, the nice lady Armstrong told me to give this to you!” 

She then fumbled with her pocket for a moment and handed Oliver another envelope.

Oliver looked at Nina, who was watching her with such big happy eyes and  wagging her tail and-

“...Thanks.” 

As Oliver awkwardly opened it, she saw a small note handwritten by Alex. 

Sister, 

Young Nina just wanted to help her mother, Young Eden. So, I decided to give this to her to make her feel special.

Your younger brother,

Alex. 

Ah. So that's why Eden was so hesitant to put Nina down. Well then.

She simply had to have these kids as her heirs.

Chapter Text

Nina was kicking her feet in the doctor's office while the doctor checked Mama out. Apparently, Mama's automail could have caused her a lot of problems, but her coat helped her out. 

After Mama was done, she turned to the doctor, “Hey, do you have any hot chocolate for Nina?” 

Oh! Nina loved Hot Coco! Mama sang her a little song while she drank it last time, plus, Mama turned her marshmallows into a dog for Nina! Nina could feel her tail wag.

The Doctor blinked. “...can she even have chocolate?” 

Mama and Nina both tilted their heads. “Yeah, why?” 

The doctor opened and closed their mouth before- “…Nevermind. That’ll be 100 cenz.” 

After getting the hot coco, Mama put in the marshmallows. “Ready Nina?” Nina nodded. 

“Here we only got one rule! Never, ever, let it cool! Keep it cooking in the pot and soon ya got!” 

Nina smiled before yelling “HOT CHOCOLATE!”

As she drank it. Mama and Big Brother Al laughed. “That’s right Nina!” 

After Nina gulped it down, she asked, “Hey Mama, can we build a snowman?”

 Mama smiled. “Sure. And we’ll make sure to give it a snow dog. It needs a friend right?” 

Nina beamed. Mama got it! She always understood Nina. 

“Yeah!”

****

As Oliver walked to her new heirs, she saw her men lined up outside the infirmary. “Well?” 

They startled and turned to her. “General! We were just-” 

She raised an eyebrow. 

They faltered. 

Miles spoke up. “Seeing a child smile was good for morale, General.”  Oliver nodded. “Understood. Back to your stations.” 

“Yes Ma’am!”  

They dispersed and she walked in. 

“So, why are you here? And why is that one empty?” 

Eden hesitated. Good. She understood where she stood. Oliver expected nothing less from her heirs. As Eden began whispering with Alphonse, Nina came up to her. 

“Ma’am, you're so strong! Can I show you my sword?”

 Oliver nodded. “Yes. It is imperative that you have a good blade when learning.” 

Nina walked over to Eden tugging on her coat until she was given a sword. Nina carefully brought it over to Oliver. She delicately took it, and began to examine it. 

“Good quality. Dull blade, but that's good for a beginner. Xing style blade, specifically for the royal guard.” She handed it back to Nina. “Forms.”

Nina shifted to a stance. 

“Good. Xing forms, but that’s to be expected with this blade. How long have you been learning?” 

Nina beamed. “A week! Lan gave me a book with some forms to try!”

Oliver nodded. “You are making excellent progress. You will be a force of nature.” 

One explanation later, she understood why her heirs were so hesitant to speak. “I am disgusted with your actions. I am, however, interested in alkahestry, so you will stay.”

“Miles.” She barked.

Miles appeared. “Yes, General?”

“Show them around. I'm sure we can give them something to earn their keep.” 

She mused to herself as she walked away. How strange it was that her heirs were so soft hearted despite being in a world so cruel.

****

Miles wasn’t sure what exactly had possessed him to show the Elrics his eyes, but he wasn’t expecting this reaction. 

The reaction mainly, being boredom. Eden and Alphonse just blinked, and Nina just walked up to him to say “I like your eyes! They're so pretty! They remind me of rubies!” 

Confused, Miles asked. “Nothing? Not even pity?” 

Eden shrugged. “We were nearly killed by a serial killer trying to murder state alchemists because of what they did in Ishval. You’re out of luck there.” 

Miles blinked. Huh. 

Someone tugged on his pants. When he looked down, Nina was peering up at him. 

“Can we have a snowball fight?” 

Well. Miles can’t really say no to that face can he?

****

Oliver was told that some of her men were having a snowball fight, so of course she had to investigate. 

Stepping out onto the ridge, she watched Nina running around screaming with laughter as her men hurled snowballs at her heirs and at each other. She turned to Miles with a raised brow.

“Nina wanted a snowball fight. It was good for the Men's morale.” 

“I know that it’s good for morale, Miles. I have eyes.” Oliver snapped.

“Their lives are normally so hard, but just for this moment all that matters is a little girl's laughter.”  

As her men threw snowballs, Nina ran up to her, skidding to a stop.

“Hello Ma’am! Do you wanna play with us?” 

She held up a snowball for Oliver.

She heard Miles talking to Nina as she stared at the snowball. 

“I’m not so sure that the General would like that-” 

Oliver picked up the snowball, staring at it. Then she sized up her men and threw it at one of them as hard as she could. 

“I will gladly join your snowball war.” 

The beaming smile and tail wag from Nina, coupled with Eden and Alphonse’s laughter was worth it. 

Besides, this was a good way to train reflexes and aim.

****

After the snow battle, Ed went back inside to continue the tour. Major Miles explained that they were going to be clearing icicles, and Ed didn’t think it would be too bad. They heard someone walk up behind them.

“I’ll take care of The Boss from here.” 

Ed and Al whipped around. “FALMAN!!” 

Falman smiled at them. “Hey boss. How’s the kid?” 

Ed smiled and picked up a giggling Nina. “She’s good. Nice to see your face, Falman.” 

They chuckled. “Yeah, it can get boring without you around to argue with Mustang. Let me show you around.” 

They walked lower, Nina skipping alongside them and Al occasionally snarking, and Ed felt a little warmer. Things were going ok. 

Then a fucking Homunculus broke through the wall, and Ed wondered why Truth was doing this too them specifically.

Chapter Text

Oliver knew that her heirs hadn’t told her everything, which was fine. She knew she had to prove herself trustworthy to the children, which was going to be a bit harder. After the beast walked off her best rocket launcher however, she decided their information needed to be given now.  

“All Non-combatants leave now!” 

She watched the beast throw her men around, and her heirs sans Nina skidded onto the scene. They transmuted some barriers, then turned to her. 

“You can’t hurt it with gunfire ma’am.” 

She turned and barked at them, “Elrics! What the hell is this thing?! Who does it work for?!” 

Eden responded first. “We can’t tell you that ma’am, but we can tell you what doesn’t work.” 

Can’t. Interesting . Oliver felt a small smile creep onto her face. Of course her heirs would be on her side, even if they didn’t trust her yet. No matter. They had a beast to show the full force of the Briggs too.

****

Ed knew they were going to be shackled, that was just how Ms. Oliver Armstrong was. They respected her a lot. She was strong, and commanded respect, so they decided to stay in the cell this time. They were just glad that Nina was still allowed to run around. (Though she was currently asleep in bed.) Ed was humming to themself as they checked Al over for anything that needed buffing out, when they heard footsteps. They looked up to see the soldiers they’d just saved. 

“Oh, hey. Are you people doing okay?” 

They all nodded. 

One of them stepped forward. “We wanted to thank you for helping us out back there, even though you didn’t have to.” 

Ed furrowed their brow. “What are you talking about? Of course we had to help you! What were we gonna do, just stand there and watch you die? Not a chance in hell.” 

This seemed to get a chuckle out of all of them. “We figured you say that. Anyway, we brought you and Nina some breakfast, free of charge. It should actually be enough for you, according to what your brother said.”

 Ed smiled. “Thanks.” 

They gently woke Nina and ate the breakfast, before Ms. Armstrong appeared. 

“Ma’am.” Ed continued gently brading Nina’s hair. 

As soon as they finished, Ms. Armstrong spoke up. “Elrics. Follow me. We’re going to investigate the hole.” 

****

Oliver decided to try to get to know her heirs better as they walked. That should build trust, right? 

“Eden.” 

She made a noise. 

“Have you found any girls attractive yet?” 

Eden stammered. “I-well. I have a husband?” 

Ah. How unfortunate that her eldest was straight. 

“I find myself disappointed Eden, you could do better than him.”

Alphonse nodded in agreement even as Eden loudly disagreed. 

“Hey! Rude! She’s my fiancé and I love her very much!”  

Oliver stopped. “She?” 

Eden nodded. “Obviously. We’re engaged.” 

Oliver breathed out a sigh of relief. “Oh, good. For a minute I was worried my eldest heir was straight.”

Eden blinked. 

“What’s straight? Is it an insult? Can I use it on The Bast- I mean, Mustang?” 

Evidently, someone had been lax in educating her heirs, that would need to be fixed.

But first, “Yes. Call Mustang that.” 

Eden grinned.

“Wait- what do you mean by heirs?” 

****

Ed didn’t think their day couldn’t get much worse. The tunnel has been creepy and damp. That conversation with Ms. Armstrong had sucked ( Sweet Baby Truth , their entire country was an alchemy circle), but now they were spying on a quick runner up for the worst conversation of the day. A legion of undying soldiers? Ed felt their blood freeze at the thought of that ( UnequivalentUnequivalentUnequivalentItbrokethelaws-) . 

Rather than subject Nina to the Conversations From Hell, Ed had let her run around. The people of Briggs wouldn’t let Nina kill herself, Ed was sure, and Ed didn’t think Nina needed to hear this anyways. Just before they could let Nina run free, a wave of- it almost felt like the homunculus, but not quite like it. So- “Nina, if you smell anything that smells remotely like the meanies Mama fought, run the other way .” 

Nina nodded seriously. “Okay Mama. I’m gonna go find some snackies !” 

As Falman led Ed and Al (Look, if anyone asks, it was their idea to be tied up ‘kay?), they noticed they were walking closer to- well, to whatever it was. The stench of it was practically coating the atmosphere. 

Al must have noticed Ed bristiling because she asked, “Brother what's wrong?” 

Before Ed could even answer, the reason for their discomfort showed itself.  A person wearing all white stood next to Miles. 

“Ah, The Fullmetal Alchemist. How wonderful to meet you.”

If only Ed could say the same.

****

Winry was not having a good time. She’d been visiting Paninya (they had even kissed! ), when she found out that Ed had decided to take her automail to the North . Then some soldiers basically kidnapped her, and now she was stuck in some freezing cold military base. 

Although Winry was always (somewhat) happy to see Ed, she really just wanted to punch this creep. Seriously! Who goes to the north in a white suit?! It was just impractical! 

On the bright side, the automail mechanic here was brilliant. She was even willing to share her recipe for cold-resistant automail. Squee !!!!

Once they were left alone, Winry turned to Ed. 

“Where is Nina?” 

Ed shrugged. “I let her run around. She’s five and everyone here adores her, she’s about as safe as it gets. I didn’t expect whoever the hell that was to show up, but I told her to run away if she smelt something funny.” 

As if on cue, Nina came barreling into the room (and into Ed’s arms).

“Mama! I found you! I smelt someone who smelled Really Bad and ran like you said!” 

Ed smiled and looked down at her daughter “Good job Nina. Did he see you?” 

Nina shook her head.

Winry hated to break this up, but she needed to get to work on Ed’s limbs.

“Ed, take off your jacket please.” 

Ed did, and she turned to see- 

“Wait. When did you grow boobs?”

Chapter Text

Kimblee felt like he was going insane . 

He could have sworn he saw a little girl for a brief second when they entered the fort. 

He raised an eyebrow, turning to Major Miles. “Who was that little girl?” Major Miles merely raised an eyebrow back. “Little girl? Sir, this is a military base.” 

Before Kimblee could retort, the Elrics woke up. He’d have to solve that mystery later. For now, he had an Alchemist to persuade.

Kimblee gave Fullmetal her automail mechanic, before stalking out to investigate the little girl. Perhaps the soldiers would know something? 

He walked up to some non-combatants. “Have any of you men seen a little girl?”

They didn’t even stop their work as they responded to him. “No Sir. This is a military base. Why would a little girl be here? Are you sure the cold isn't getting to you?” 

Damn. He’d keep asking around, maybe one of the others will have an idea.

“Nope.”

“Nah.”

“Little girl? Most of us haven’t even seen our families.”

“A kid? Here? ”

“This is survival of the fittest, not a daycare.”

Kimblee was at his fucking limit . He knew he’d seen a child!

HE WAS NOT GOING INSANE!!!!

Eventually, he gave up and asked Fullmetal. 

“Have you seen a child?!” 

“Only every fucking day.” She just stared at him, judgment rolling off of her in waves. “I’m 16, dumbass.”

****

Ed was a little nervous as they were loaded into Miles' car. 

This was a risky game plan, but one they all had to execute. Winry burst into the car as planned, but Ed saw one of Kimblee's henchmen sniff the air. 

“Hey, do you smell something?” 

Ah, welp. Time to pull some shit out of their ass. “What? Never smelt a dog before? Winry has one back at home.” 

The henchman started to look sheepish. “Ah, sorry. Must’ve been that.” 

As soon as The White-Suited Ass shut the door, Miles started driving away. Ed knocked twice on Al’s armor and she removed her arm, allowing Nina to crawl out. 

“Good job Nina! They didn’t suspect a thing.” 

Nina beamed and started wagging her tail. “Thanks Mama!” 

“What.” 

Oh yeah, Ed had forgotten Miles was here. “Well, we couldn’t just leave Nina. That Asshole was getting suspicious. I won’t let my daughter be used as a hostage.” 

Miles sighed. “What’s your plan when you have to fight Scar or Kimblee’s men?” 

Ed smiled. “Now you're asking the right questions, Ma’am. She’ll stay with Winry or Al.” 

****

Okay so Heinkel was a little scared of Fullmetal, he had probable cause. As soon as he and Darius had met her, they had known she was dangerous. Not because of her rank, no. They were scared because she was a mother. His instincts were screaming at him to not overstep unless he wanted to lose his head.  

Heinkel had read somewhere once that when people start taking care of children, their bodies released a hormone. Now, he knew that it was not, in fact, bullshit. 

He might not know much about lions (even if he technically was one ), but he did know the most important law of nature. When encountering a mother, assume they will kill you, because they will. They have more to protect than anyone else, and will not go down lightly.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the kids were covered in a lot of different parental claims. 

Even as he agreed to watch the brothers, he knew he was Screwed . 

****

Mei was so happy to see Alphonse again! 

She was grateful that she’d instructed Lan Fan to teach her Amestrian manners, Mei’d had no idea she was being so disrespectful! 

At long last! Alphonse had come to find her, it was true love! She didn’t care for Ed ( terrible taste in men) , but if she was going to be her brother-in-law, Mei would have to play nice.

Then Alphonse's armor started rattling. 

“Oh, right. Al, let Nina and Winry out.” 

Her future husband took off her head, and two people stepped out. First was a tall blonde woman. A potential rival?! This would not stand!

The second came out in a blur headed directly for Mei, until Ed intervened, grabbing it. 

“Nina.”  

The little girl stopped squirming in her hold, pouting, and Mei remembered why that name was familiar.

“YOU'RE THE GIRL WHO CHASED ME WITH A SWORD!”

“Shhh!” 

****

Scar had always known he would have to lose a battle at some point, but he wasn’t expecting two chimeras to do it. 

He really hadn’t expected the Elrics to appear and save him. When the Alchemist-no, Eden, (she was innocent in this, she deserved respect) appeared, he saw the chimeras stiffen for some reason. It was like instinctively they were wary of her. 

“H-hey! Come help us out!” 

Scar started praying internally. The Elrics would hand him over-

“AHH MONSTERS!!” 

What? They clearly had recognized the chimeras, why were they- oh . This was a plan of theirs. 

The pig chimera looked more nervous. “We’re on your side!” 

Eden grinned a little meanly. “I don’t remember working with monsters.” 

What happened next could only be described as a one-sided beat down. Against his better judgment, Scar was impressed. 

He prepared himself as the brothers approached him. “You will live or die based on what Winry decides. She is the one you have wronged the most.”

****

Miles had been expecting a big mess when he tracked down the Elrics, but this was even more impressive than he could’ve ever expected. 

Two of Kimblee’s chimeras knocked out, a whole troup of smuggled civilians, and a serial killer from his own blood on the floor. The Elrics really outdid themselves this time. 

“Men, tie up the fugitive and the chimeras.” 

He knelt down to look the man in his eyes. “I hate to do this to one of my people, but I can’t let you walk out of here.” 

“Your people?”

Miles watched the man’s eyes widen as he removed his sunglasses. 

“Do you not feel guilt for joining the enemy?” 

Miles shook his head. “No. My plan is to work from the inside to change the way the people of this country view Ishval. Once-” He thought back to a little girl. “Someone told me my eyes reminded them of rubies.”

Chapter Text

Scar was expecting a lot of things when The Rockbell’s child knelt down to him. Whatever she did, he had to make sure that she didn’t regret it. 

“You have every right to kill me. What I did to your parents was inexcusable-” 

“Shut up.”

Scar blinked. “What?”

The girl angrily grabbed his arm. “I said shut up. I’ll never forgive you for what you’ve done.” She started bandaging his wounds, tears welling up in her eyes. “But I’m going to do what my parents would’ve wanted.” 

He looked towards the Elrics. 

Alphonse shrugged. “It was always her decision.” 

Eden wasn’t even looking at him. 

“Winry, are you sure?” 

The girl- Winry nodded, now fully crying. “Yeah. I’m sure.” 

Eden nodded. “Then that's that. Scar-” 

Before Eden could continue, She opened her arms just in time for a blur to thud into her arms. She nonchalantly held a little girl with a wagging tail as she continued. “-Will live, because Winry has asked for it.” 

She shifted her attention to the little girl in her arms with a smile. “Isn’t that right, Nina?” 

The little girl giggled. “Yes Mama!”

Ah. This was the child he was trying to orphan. He shifted uncomfortably.

Why did that name sound familiar- 

Oh.

“Is- is that the chimera Shou Tucker made?” 

Nina froze. 

Eden locked onto him. “Yes. We will not be discussing this further, it upsets Nina.”

Scar stared into golden fire and it stared back, unyielding. “ Are we clear? ” 

****

Al was happy that Winry had finally made a decision. They could tell it had been eating her up on the inside ever since the alley.

The chimeras stirred, and Miles walked over to them. 

“Men, ready your guns.” 

“What? No!” Al protested. 

“I see no reason to let them live. Kill them.”

That was wrong. They were just victims of their circumstances. They shouldn’t be killed! “No! A life is a life!” 

They heard the chimeras scoff. “How soft.” 

Al turned to them. “What?” 

The frog one continued. “Kid, look at us. We’re monsters. What kind of future do we have?” 

Al shook their head. They had bodies! They had hope! Why couldn’t they see that?! “No! You’re wrong ! Look at Nina!” The little girl shifted in Brother's hold. “Does she deserve to die?!”  

The chimeras froze, torn between the innocent look on Nina’s face and the murderous one on Brother’s. 

“.....No. But kid-” 

“Then you don’t deserve to die! Live with hope that you can make it better!”

One of the chimeras scoffed. “You just don’t get it, kid.”

“Look at me!” Al took off their head showing how hollow they were. Al thought about every time they had wanted to give up, in the beginning. They thought about the way Brother had looked them in the eyes and promised that she would keep going until she got their bodies back. Brother had given them hope, and now Al was going to give it to others. “I get it. And I’m going back! No matter how long it takes, I won’t give up.  Don’t you have things you want to live for?!” 

The chimeras looked at each other. “Yeah, I guess we do.” 

“Then don’t give up! Keep going! Crawl forward if you have to, but live!” 

They looked at Al. “Alright kid.” 

Al had done it! Brother would be proud! She had managed to-

“Although… Can you keep your brother away? She’s scary.” 

****

As Ed watched Al give the speech to the Chimeras, she felt tears well in her eyes. She remembered when Al was 6 and Mom had died. She’d been left to take care of Al. 

Two weeks after Mom died, they had run out of groceries. Ed knew they'd have to go out to buy more. 

“Let me come with Brother!” 

Ed laughed. “Sure Al.” 

The bag was so big that Ed couldn’t see over it, but it was the brightest day they’d had for a long time. That night, like many others, Ed made them dinner standing on a stool because she was too short to reach the countertops.

…

Before they had met Teacher, Ed had been in charge of teaching Al. Al was pretty smart, so she was easy to teach. Today’s lesson happened at the creek. 

“Okay Al, here’s a good example of an ecosystem. Let me know if you have questions about the species. For now, just explore and observe.” 

Al splashed around, catching a frog and bringing it to Ed. 

“Brother! What’s this species?” 

Ed had leaned over. “Ah, that looks to be-”

…

Ed was 9, and Al had outgrown her shoes. 

“Okay Al. Any particular style you want?” 

Al shook her head. “Nope! Just make sure they're durable Brother!” 

Ed had scoffed. “Obviously! I’m not a fucking amateur.”

The transmutation circle flared and went out. Al had worn the shoes for the rest of the day and had to be bribed to take them off during bed time.

…

When Al turned 7, Ed secretly spent a couple of weeks with Teacher and Granny, learning how to perfect a cake. Al had wanted chocolate cake, and she was going to get the best damn chocolate cake Ed could make her. “Happy birthday Al. Make a wish.” 

Al smiled at Ed before blowing out the candles. 

…

Ed had turned 11, and Al had declared that she knew what she was going to be when she grew up. 

“Oh yeah? And what's that?” 

Al had beamed at Ed. “ I’m gonna be like you Brother! You always know how to care for others and inspire people!”

…

Ed watched her little brother. The kid she had raised, the kid she adored, and she felt her heart swell to bursting. 

She was so focused that she jumped when Winry approached her. 

“Are you okay Ed?” 

“Huh? Yeah, why?” 

Winry handed Ed a handkerchief. “You're crying.”

Oh. So she was. 

“I’m just- I’m so- I’m so proud of Al. She’s growing up to be such a good person.” 

Winry smiled at Ed.

 “She had a pretty good role model.” 

And-

Winry was wrong. Ed wasn’t good. Not like Al. Ed was deep down rotten inside. They were selfish, and- and stupid. Ed had dragged Al into this mess. Ed-

“Mama.” 

Ed looked down to her amazing daughter. “Yes Nina?” 

Nina smiled up at her, looking at Ed like she was her whole world. “When I grow up, I wanna be just like you.” 

Oh.

Thankfully, no one seemed to comment when Ed started crying harder.

Chapter Text

Nina didn’t know why Mama was handing her suitcase to Winry, but she was sure she wasn’t going to like it. 

Mama knelt down to Nina and put her palms out. Nina put her hands into Mamas and looked into her eyes. Mama carefully closed her hands over Nina’s smaller ones. 

“Nina.” 

“Yes Mama?” 

Mama gently kissed Nina’s hands. “We need to separate for a bit.” 

Nina felt tears in her eyes. “What? Mama, why?”

Mama smiled sadly. “Because you and Winry are in danger. I need to distract them so you can get away.” 

Nina was crying now, she was sure of it. “Bu-but Mama… I need you!”

Mama looked close to crying too. 

“Oh Nina, come here.” Mama pulled her into a tight hug. “I’m so, so sorry sweetheart.” 

Mama gently swayed Nina back and forth, and she felt herself calm down a little. “...Do you really have to go Mama?” 

She kissed Nina on her forehead, gently wiping away her tears. “Yes, Nina. Don’t worry, I’ll be back.” 

“Promise?” 

Mama looked her in the eyes. “It’s just a couple days Nina.” 

She sighed. “Okay, if I’m not back in a few days, I’ll return within a few months, and I’ll bring your Papa with me.” She leaned in close to Nina. 

“I promise.”  

Nina didn’t like being away from Mama at all , but she knew Mama would come back to her. Mama never broke her promises.

“..Okay Mama. I love you.” 

A tear rolled down Mama's cheek. “I love you too, Nina. More than the bees love the flowers.” 

Mama hugged Nina one last time, kissing her forehead. 

Before they left, Mama handed Winry one last thing. 

“These are Nina's lessons for the next six months. Please make sure to follow them.”

Winry gave Mama a sad smile. “Always making sure she and Al are taken care of, huh?” 

“Of course.” Mama said, looking fondly at Nina and Big Brother Al. “I love them.” 

****

Eden struggled to compose herself after her daughter left, and then all that was left was for Miles and the brothers to wait out the storm. 

Miles had barely restrained his tears watching the tearful goodbye between mother and daughter, and by the looks of it, all of his men were having the same issue. He glanced over to the brothers, watching Eden carefully whisper to Alphonse while buffing out scratches in their armor. He wished that the kids didn’t have to do this, but there wasn’t much he could do. 

One of his men ran up to him. “Major!” 

Miles looked up. “Yes, soldier?” 

The soldier looked scared. “General Armstrong has been called to Central. Fort Briggs is compromised!” 

Miles felt his blood freeze. Without the general, Fort Briggs was a sitting duck. To make matters worse, he had just sent the group to go seek safety there.

His decision may have just sent them all to their graves-

“I’ll go.” 

Miles blinked. “Alphonse?”

Alphonse clenched their hand in front of them. “My body can’t be affected by frostbite. I’ll go.” 

Eden stopped posturing to carefully take her brother's hand. 

“Are you sure Al?” 

Alphonse nodded. “Yes Brother. I can do it!” 

Eden walked Alphonse to the door. “Okay Al, be careful.” 

Al nodded, about to walk out, before Eden stopped them one more time. 

“Al?” 

Alphonse turned to look at Eden. “Yes Brother?” 

Eden held Al’s hand. “I’m proud of you.” 

The brothers hugged, and Miles really had to hold back tears now. 

Alphonse gave them one final wave, and walked off into the white.

****

Darius just knew this was a bad idea. 

They’d been operating at a disadvantage from the start. Had they gotten the kid? Sure, for barely a millisecond . The kid was fast. Much faster than him or Heinkel could be. Their instincts were screaming for them to run. The kid was a mother to the end, and she would go down swinging.

To make matters worse, the kid had dynamite . They were so fucked.  

One bit of luck, it was too wet to light a fuse. 

“Wait- those won’t work!” 

The girl started doing something that they couldn’t see. As though she was  talking to a child, she asked, “Do you know what dynamite is made of?” 

Darius and Heinkel started listing off chemicals, slowly realizing too late what the girl was doing. 

“Wait. AMMONIA!” 

The girl turned around with a feral grin and nose plugs. “Very good!” 

The chemical burned at their sensitive noses and the chimeras shared a single thought. 

We should've listened to our instincts! 

****

Ed was incandescent with fury.  

This Kambel asshole was insane. They’d already taken care of the chimera duo, but this fucker Would. Not. Stay. Down.  

Ed swept him to the floor, kicking away the philosopher's stone. ( SorrySorryTheyWillSingForYouLaterSorry-) . 

Before Kimblee could even raise his hand, Ed stamped on his hand with their metal leg. Hard.  

This fucker did not deserve hands. 

Then Ed slashed the hand they’d stepped on, just to be safe. 

Ed spat on Kimblee. “Stay down, fucker.” 

The man looked up, and Ed felt themself freeze a little. That was-

Another philosopher's stone in his mouth.

Fuck.  

****

Ed didn’t know how much time had passed before they regained consciousness. They knew they needed to assess their injuries, and fast. They tried to focus on their body, but the world went fuzzy at the edges. Their mind wanted to slip away again. 

Everything was a little too loud, the cavern was spinning. Concussion? 

They twitched and their whole world momentarily became blinding pain. Abdomen, then.  

Ed closed their eyes, trying to focus. They thought about every anatomy book they’d ever read. Kidney, Small intestine, Large intestine, spleen. Not the lungs, this was too far down for that. What could cause that much damage?

Deep breath. Focus.

Ed snapped their eyes open.  

They were impaled on a Truth Damned Pole.  

Fuck.

Chapter Text

Nina was walking with Big Brother Al. Apparently, she had come to warn them to not go to Briggs. As she was walking on the snow humming the song Mama taught her, she heard a loud thud. Turning to it she saw Big Brother Al in the snow, surrounded by everyone else. Nina stopped humming and walked over, catching everyone's attention. 

“Big Brother Al, c’mon! We have to keep moving.” 

She didn’t respond. It was strange, Big Brother Al always responded. 

“She's not moving Nina.” Winry explained, looking worried. “This hasn’t happened to Al before has it?” 

Nina shook her head, walking closer to Big Brother Al. Nina shook Big Brother Al, but nothing happened. Nina tried shaking her harder. 

“Big Brother Al. C’mon, please . Mama needs us to keep moving.” 

Nina felt tears well up in her eyes when nothing happened. She felt herself start to cry as she realized what this could mean.

Mama had told her once that if she had died, Big Brother Al probably would too. She’d said it was due to the nature of the circle itself, but Nina didn’t know what that meant. 

Nina started shaking Big Brother Al as hard as she could. “Mama! Mama, please!” 

She started sobbing. “Mama you promised ! Mama- Mama I need you! I need you and Big Brother Al, so please, get up!” 

****

Ed felt their eyes snap open. “Nina..?” 

They looked around the empty cavern. “No… I can’t let her cry over something as stupid as this.” 

Alright Eden, first things first. Is there anyone around who can help you- Ah! The chimeras! 

Ed slowly lifted themself from the ground, trying not to jostle the pole too much. They clapped their hands, focusing as hard as they could on the alchemy, and releasing the two chimeras. 

Ed felt themself sway, suddenly dizzy, but the bear-man caught them.

“Easy kid, can’t have you jostling that pole stuck in ya too much.” 

They slowly sat down with Ed, and the lion one approached. “You really are something else, saving us like that, even after we tried to kill ya.” 

Ed mustered up the energy to shrug. “It’s… nothing. I- I need to keep- keep moving. I need… get to Nina and Al.” 

The lion blinked. “Nina.. your daughter, I presume?” 

Ed nodded. 

The lion continued. “Well, let's get you to a medic-” 

“No time.” 

The bear blinked. “Kid, you are impaled. You need to stop moving right now-”

“Gotta… Gotta stop Kimblee. Pull it out.” 

The lion looked nervous. “How do you plan to seal the wound?”

Ugh, more questions? “Medical Alchemy. Never tried it, but I read a few books.”

“What about your internal organs?”

Ah, fair question actually. “I’m going to use myself as a stone. It should probably only take a few years. Now, pull it out.” 

The lion hesitated again. 

Ed yanked them by the collar. “Pull it out, or so help me Truth, I will impale YOU on it!”  

“Okay! Okay. Whatever you say.” The lion handed Ed some gloves. “Here, you’ll want something to bite on.” 

If Ed survived this, they would have to learn their names. 

The lion began pulling the pole out, excruciatingly slowly. Ed bit down into the glove as a new pain, worse than ever, flooded their system. No time to dwell on that. Ed focused intently on the wound. They were a philosopher's stone, powered by one soul. They could do this. This would work. It had to.   Ed readied their hands, waiting for the pipe to come free. Finally, with a sickeningly wet shlunk , it did.

Ed slammed their hands together, and the world went white. 

****

When Ed opened their eyes, again, they found themself in Truth's domain. It was weird, they’d already planned to pay a toll, Truth should’ve just taken it. What had gone wrong ? They started looking around for the ass. They shouldn’t have worried, Truth sat, with Ed’s arm and leg, just a few steps ahead. 

“Hey! Why am I here Asshole!? I already was going to pay the fine!” 

Truth did their weird laugh with many voices, before speaking . “ I’ve come to make a counter offer. ” 

Ed blinked. 

That - that was new. Truth had never bargained before, only taken. 

Ed shifted, a little nervous. “..And what would that be?” 

Truth chuckled. 

“ Ever curious huh, Little Alchemist? Well lucky you, you get this information for free.” Truth leaned forward. “ Allow me to have a taste of your life. ”

“What.” 

Truth briefly faltered. “ You were ready to give me a few years of your life. Let me take them. A piece of me will be able to take control of your body. It won't be in your mind all the time, I belong on this side of the gate, but enough of me could slip through. ” 

“Like Greed and Ling, but not always?” Ed was somehow more confused. “But you’re already everything, right? Why would you want to be me when you already are?” 

Truth’s grin seemed to stretch impossibly wider. “ You’re smart, Little Alchemist. You figure it out.”  

Ed thought about it. Truth was- well, everything. And nothing. It had already seen everything, but it hadn’t- Oh . 

“Oh.” Ed said. “You want to be me, because you’re everything and nothing. When you are all at once and not at all, are you really anything ?” 

Truth cackled. “ This is why you’re my favorite Eden. Not only are you entertaining, you get it. ” 

Ed stared at Truth. 

Truth who apparently wanted to see and experience the world, not just see and experience the world. It- it made sense? Truth would be gaining knowledge, and there was nothing Truth loved more than that. 

“I have some ground rules. First, I’m driving most of the time. You can stick around in my brain I guess, but I don’t really know how you being in my body will affect it, and I’d like to keep my body somewhat normal, thanks. Second, no killing. Nonnegotiable.” 

Truth leared at them “ Are you trying to bargain with me? ” 

Ed raised an eyebrow. “Were you trying to bargain with me?” 

Truth cackled and stuck out its weird glowing non-hand. “ Good point Eden. I’ll take your deal. Let's shake on it. ” 

Ed shook Truth's hand, and the world went dark.

****

Heinkel was nervous. 

The kid's wounds had sealed themselves up. Strangely, as they did, their coat had turned white, the color leaching out of it. 

Now, he and Darius were just waiting for the kid to wake up. The girl twitched, and a wave of primal fear came over him. He barely grounded himself enough to keep from running away or baring his teeth. She slowly, slowly began to stand, and he noticed she seemed to be- 

“Is she glowing?” 

Darius blinked. “So, I'm not hallucinating. Good to know.” 

At last, she stood fully upright, her hair was almost suspending itself in the air. The feeling of Submit-SumbitOrDie-Fear-Run didn’t calm down, if anything, it got worse. The girl looked around, muttering to herself.

“...Ed?” 

She turned and Heinkel froze.  

Ed’s eyes were pure white and glowing, and she had a manic grin on her face. When she opened her mouth to speak, her voice was layered with many others. 

“ Not quite, but- yes. We should get out of here. ” 

She managed to walk quite a few steps before collapsing. As she did, the glow fizzled out. The instinctive terror calmed considerably, but it was still there. It buzzed under his skin, warning him to be careful. 

He looked at Darius, who seemed as shell shocked as he was. This was dangerous. But - 

This was also Ed, a kid who loved her family. She had saved them. Their choice was already made.

“...C’mon. Let's pick her up. She probably needs a doctor.”

Chapter Text

When Al woke up, she was in pieces. Nina was holding her head in her lap, looking concerned. As soon as she saw Al blink her eyes open, Nina lit up. 

“Big Brother Al! I was getting worried!” Nina giggled. “This means Mama’s ok! She’s keeping her promise!” 

Nina carefully set Al’s head next to her body. Everyone gathered around Al to question her.

“Hey, Nina said this hadn’t happened before, is that correct?” 

Al spoke up. “Nina, please pick me up and shake my head.” 

Nina giggled as she did exactly that.

Al fired back with her own question. “Now, why am I in pieces?” 

“You were too big to carry. How Ed manages to throw you around like you’re a grape is beyond us .” Winry answered. 

As everyone gathered Al’s body pieces, Al made conversation with Nina. “What happened Nina?” 

She shifted. “Mama was in danger.” 

Mei scoffed. “And how would you know?” 

Nina was glaring at Mei, Al could just tell. 

“Because Mama said that if she died, Big Brother Al would too. Something to do with the circle I think?”  

“WHAT?!” Everyone shouted. 

“But Brother is okay now, right Nina?” 

“Yup! You’re awake, so she must be okay!” 

“Good.” 

“WE ARE NOT JUST SKIMMING OVER THAT!” Mei shouted.

“Yeah! Why didn’t Ed tell us?!” Winry yelled.

Nina tilted her head (and Al’s). “You were in the room, Winry. You were just working on automail.” 

“Yeah, Winry. Also, can we get back to putting my body together?” 

****

Before they had gotten any further than sorting left from right, Mei turned away, looking like she had been struck by an idea. Without explaining, she unbound the journal and laid the notes on the floor. Outraged shouts broke out, but eventually she talked everyone into assisting her. 

Well, mostly everyone.

Al was left alone with Nina. She carefully put Al’s head onto her torso. Then she began heaving part of Al’s arm, trying to carry it to her torso. Everyone else stood around, curiously staring at the notes. 

Al decided enough was enough. “Hey, it’s great and all, that seeing me in pieces gave you guys a clue, but could you at least put me back together? You know, considering that I'm one of the only two people here that know alchemy, and the only one who’s seen the gate? I’d really be happy to help, EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE I’M IN PIECES- thank you Nina.”

Nina was attempting to reattach Al’s hand to her body with a smile and a wagging tail. “No problem!” 

As she worked, Al continued. “I hate you all. Brother would never do this to me!” 

Winry scoffed. “What, did Ed praise you or something and now you think you're hot shit?” 

Al attempted to puff up her ( still very dismembered!!! ) body. “As a matter of fact, yes. She said she was proud of me.” 

“Little shit.” Winry grumbled, before putting Al’s other shoulder on.

Whats-his-face (Yoke? Yoki?) sneezed, and the papers flipped over. Al used her single fully attached arm to facepalm. 

“Did none of you try flipping the papers over? That’s like- step one. Alchemists never give shit to you straight. Except Brother. She is very forthcoming with info.” 

Winry ran back over and started helping everyone flip the pages over, leaving only Nina to put Al back together.

“ HEY! DON’T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS YOU FUCKING-”

****

Once they finished putting Al (the prideful ass ) back together, Winry listened to Mei explaining the dragon's pulse. As she stood, someone tugged at her pants. 

“Yes Nina?” She looked down. 

Nina was looking up at her somewhat excitedly. “It’s lesson time!” 

Winry blinked. 

So, Nina had a rhythm that she didn’t like disturbed, good to know. 

“So it is. Let me see what your mother had planned.” She opened up the notebook, leafing through Ed’s (surprisingly) well written notes, until she found the day's date. “Alrighty, lets see what Ed wanted you to learn today-” 

Winry blinked. 

She stared at what could only be described as thermodynamics for a very smart 5 year old. She read the whole thing in slack jawed shock, then slowly walked over to Al. 

“Al. This- this can’t be what Ed was planning to teach Nina… right?”

Al briefly scanned the notes. “Hmm? No, that looks right. Nina should be on schedule to learn that.” 

“ Help me then.”   Winry ordered through her gritted teeth.

“... Nah . If you wanted my help, you should’ve helped put me back together.” 

Winry stormed over to Scar and Marco. “Can either of you help with this?”

Marco looked it over, as Nina walked up to Scar. 

“Did you know that Mama helped me memorize all the elements? Mama said that’s hard to do!” 

Scar blinked. “Good job?” 

Marco handed the notes back. “It makes perfect sense. Just teach it to Nina and describe it as written. If you need more help, ask Al.” 

Winry threw up her arms in frustration. Whatever.  

Apparently , Nina was gonna be learning thermodynamics today. Complete with (incredibly well done) coloring sheets made by Ed.

Fuck her life.  

****

Envy grinned meanly as they transformed themself in front of everyone. They relished in the typical fear and shock on everyone's face- except for the armor. Despite not having any facial features, they just looked bored.

“Hey! I’m going to kill you all! You could at least look a little afraid!” 

The Elric ( of course it was another fucking Elric) just tilted their head.

“Brother was right, you are uncreative. This is just so unoriginal. I mean- Seriously? You can turn into anything and you use it for what ? Low effort spying ? Boo. Anyone with half a brain cell could do that.” 

Marco looked shellshocked at the little bastard's words, but Scar-face looked contemplative. “... Yeah , that is boring. Sure, big scary dragon body, but you could stand to branch out a little. Predictability gets you killed.” 

Envy felt their blood boil, and the howling laughter of their stone echoing through their mind didn’t help. They stomped their paws angrily. 

“GOD DAMMIT, I’M A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH!”

Chapter Text

Yoki and Envy stood surrounded. Scar was unimpressed by the… worm was Envy’s true form. It made sense, he supposed, that the coward who had slaughtered his people would be so pathetic. Somehow, attaching itself to Yoki's neck made the worm look even more pathetic. 

“Go ahead.” Scar deadpanned along with everyone else. “I’ll kill him too!”

“It’s not like he’s our friend.” Winry crossed her arms.

“What was his name again?” Jerso asked.

“Ah- Yolk I think.” Zampano.

“We’ll never forget his sacrifice.” Mei promised.

“Gone too soon.” Alphonse actually sounded a little gleeful.

“We will destroy you and this man if you don’t surrender.” Marco intoned.

Yoki(?) Envy(?) looked close to tears. “Dammit!”

“Got him.” Alphonse casually plucked Envy from Yoki’s neck, shoving him in a jar. (Really, when had the full suit of armor become so stealthy?)

“Nice acting, Doctor!” Jerso complemented.

Marco slumped to the ground in exhaustion. “I’m not used to bluffing like that.”

Alphonse blinked. “Wait, we were lying?” 

Winry shrugged. “I wasn’t.”

Alphonse blinked, then handed the jar to Nina. “Here you go, Nina.”

Nina grinned. “Thanks!” 

She started shaking the jar like it had personally offended her, refusing to stop, even when Alphonse picked her up.

****

When they got back to the hut, Jerso asked Nina to hand Envy over. She did, albeit reluctantly. Al watched Jerso and Zampano take turns interrogating Envy. 

“Tell us!” 

Worm-envy (Wormvy, if you will.) screeched. “No!” 

Zampano shrugged. “Alright. Here you go Nina.” 

“YAY!” Nina squealed, taking the jar and shaking vigorously. 

“You really should just tell us, Nina has a lot of energy to get out.” Al mused, prying the jar from Nina, and returning Wormvy to Jerso. 

“Where is that Fullmetal brat anyway, shouldn’t she be with you?” 

Al and Nina froze. 

No. Al couldn’t think like that. Brother was strong. She was okay .  She had to be okay . 

“What do you mean?” 

Wormvy shifted in glee. “Last I had heard, she had gone missing. She disappeared after a mineshaft in Baschool collapsed. If she isn’t with you…I wonder if she's even alive.” 

Al found it weird that Wormvy respected Brother, but that wasn’t important right now. Brother was still alive. Al knew she was still alive. Al wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t. Al tried to ignore the voice telling her that there was a big difference between being alive and being okay.

Either way, Al wouldn’t let Envy sense any weakness.  So- 

“Nina, go back to shaking him.” 

Nina nodded determinedly.

Wormvy screeched. “NOOOOOOO-”

****

Mei watched Alphonse and Scar converse. It looked like Alphonse, Nina, and Winry were splitting up with Scar. 

Scar snatched Envy from Nina and walked over to Mei. “Mei, take this… worm back to Xing.” 

Mei sputtered. She was needed here! “I can’t go- I’m the only one that can do alkahestry!” 

Scar shook their head, shoving Envy into Mei’s hands. “You’re a Xing citizen, this does not concern you. Go.” 

Mei felt tears well up in her eyes. “I-I’ll never forget you!” 

Everyone gathered to say goodbye to Mei, and Alphonse walked up last.

“Thanks Mei, for everything. It was nice of you to try to teach me. Hey- when I get the basics down, I’ll visit you okay?”  

Mei started crying. Her future husband was so kind! She launched herself into a hug on Alphonse's knees. “Oh, Alphonse. I’ll miss you.” 

Alphonse gently patted her on the head.

And then it was time for her to go.

****

Al (if they could) smiled at Rose, glad she was doing better, and glad Liore had learned some manners. It seemed like Brother’s speech had really made an impact, and Al was happy that they were rebuilding. 

“Where’s Eden? I need to apologize to her.” 

Al shook their head. “She’s somewhere else right now, but I’ll let her know. Rose. Anyway, how are you all doing? Are Brother's constructions still holding up?” 

Rose smiled. “Yup! Your Brother is a genius! Now, when are you going to introduce me to this little girl?” 

Nina smiled at Rose. “I’m Nina! This is My Big Brother Al! You said Mama was here?” 

Rose blinked. “Mama?” 

Al sighed. Rose wouldn’t tell anyone, they were sure. 

“Nina is Brother's daughter.” 

Rose straightened, “Oh, Goodness! I- How-” She paused and turned abruptly, noticing a newcomer.  “Hello, Mrs. Hoenheim.” 

Al felt themself stiffen. Nina bared her teeth, tugging on Al’s hand. 

They turned around slowly. 

There, in all his fucking glory, stood Al’s biological father. 

“Oh, hell no.”

****

Big Brother Al turned around and walked off, ignoring Mama’s mean daddy. Winry took a moment to evaluate the situation, and led Nina off to take a bath. “Okay, Nina. How does your mother bathe you?” 

Nina jumped into the warm water. “Mama washes my hair, then uses a fancy soap for my ears and tail! I wash my body. Then- then she sings the drying song!” 

Winry sighed. “Of course she does. Also- please don’t splash the water. What’s the song?” 

Nina smiled while Winry washed her hair. “It doesn’t have words! Mama said that Granny taught her the song.” 

Winry blinked. “Oh! I do know that one!” 

Nina hopped out of the tub, finally clean and (mostly) dry. Winry smiled, satisfied. Then Nina did her after bath shakes. 

“Nina!” 

She giggled. “Sorry Winry!” 

Winry handed Nina a fresh set of clothes, and started a bath of her own. She slipped into the warm water, shutting her eyes in relaxation for a moment.

“Winry! I smell Big Brother Al! I’m gonna go find her!” 

Winry blinked. “Wait Nina-” 

She sprinted out before Winry could protest. 

****

Al really didn’t want to talk to their father (He certainly wasn’t, but they didn’t know what else to call him.), but unfortunately, he had information Al needed. Truth damn it all.

Nina approached as Al was helping the townsfolk. 

“Big Brother Al! I was looking for you- oh. He’s still here?” 

Al nodded. “Yes, Nina. Give me a minute okay?” 

Nina sat, watching Al as they finished helping the townsfolk.

Al could just feel his eyes on them. “Don’t look so proud. You didn’t do this.” 

They turned around, moving to sit across from their- well whatever he was, Nina just beside them. 

“Let’s chat.”

Chapter Text

Ed would like to think that they were handling this whole Truth thing pretty well. At the very least, they managed to stop answering out loud when Truth asked a question in their mind within an hour. As far as Ed was concerned, they were doing great.  

Currently, Ed was out grocery shopping. Inside, Truth was asking a million questions. ‘ What does this taste like?’  

Ed hummed. ‘You mean cookies? We can get some for you to experience, sure.’  

At Truth’s gleeful cackle, Ed felt themself smile a little. For an entity that had taken away their brother and ripped two of their limbs clean off, Truth was… unexpectedly okay to room with. 

Probably better than Greed for sure.

As Ed shopped, they stopped in front of a familiar article of clothing. “Huh, that reminds me of Teacher’s shirt.” 

Ed looked at it, noticing that it was on sale and in their size. ‘ What do you think, Truth? This and a cropped biker jacket?’ 

‘ Yesssss. We will look good in white, and it has no sleeves, so our automail can't stain it!’  

Ed bought the shirt. There was just one last thing they needed to do. “Alright, time to put Teachers symbol on the jacket. It will complete the look.” 

****

Heinkel stared at the man pointing a gun at him. Damm. The trip could've gone better. Granted, he and Darius were stealing supplies from a doctor's office, but Ed was shopping for groceries and she had the money. He braced himself to shift, but before he could, a golden hand punched through the wall and choked the man until he passed out. The arm retreated, and the kid opened the door. 

“Hey, Heinkel. You good?” 

Heinkel stiffened instinctually, then forced himself to relax. Ed was not a threat to Heinkel, no matter what his instincts claimed. Even if the terrifying 16 year old had punched through a wall. Because of course she could.

“Did you just punch through a wall with your flesh hand?” 

Ed blinked. “Yeah. My Teacher can do it too.” 

“The same teacher who is in her 30's and has been training longer than you’ve been alive?” Heinkel deadpanned.  

Ed nodded. “Yep! Oh yeah- I found a matching shirt on sale so I bought it. I get why she wears these now.” 

“..Right. Let’s get moving. And please button up the top button, it’s winter.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

They walked out, and Ed(?) started eating a cookie. “Yum.” 

Heinkel still wasn’t sure what was going on with Ed, but either way, she seemed to be in charge most of the time. He would appreciate a warning , “Hey, I’m going to terrify the absolute shit out of you for a brief moment okay? Okay.” but whatever. 

****

As Darius drove away, the kid started humming to herself. Oddly, he could've sworn he somehow heard a guitar accompanying her, but he was a little too busy to deal with that right now.  Thankfully, even though he had pointed a gun to her head, Ed still seemed to be in a good mood. Darius really wanted to keep her in one. They’d just barely managed to talk Ed into transmuting the car into something a little less conspicuous. (Granted, it still had a skull on the grill, but he’d take his victories where he could). It had been a hard sell, but at the mention of her family, she agreed pretty readily. 

“Ed.” 

She looked up. “Hm? What’s up Darius?” 

Darius ignored the instincts screaming that he was in danger, that something stronger was staring at him. He wasn't, the kid was fine.  

“What did you get while shopping? Also, kid, button your shirt up, it’s freezing out.” 

Ed shifted around. “I got some meat and veggies for tonight. I figured Heinkel needed more meat than most people considering they're a carnivore chimera. Then I picked up some other essentials, stuff that doesn't spoil easily. Also, I treated myself with this shirt, which I will not be buttoning up one more, this is how Teacher wears it.” 

Darius sighed. 

Well, the kid certainly knew how to take care of chimeras, he had to give her that. Ed had told them all about her daughter. The little girl’s biological father turned her into a dog chimera, so Ed had plenty of experience with the chimera's needs. The sooner the kid got back to her family, the better.

“Where do you think your brother and daughter are going to be?” 

Ed looked out the window. “Two places. Probably to a cabin outside of Central. If not, we can go from there. Let me drive, I can take us there.” 

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” He and Henkiel yelled.

“Kid, you’re underaged, and do you even know how to drive?!” Heinkel continued. 

She scoffed.“Yeah, Hawkeye taught me.” 

Darius stiffened. “Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye?” 

Ed nodded. “Yeah, she also taught me how to shoot.”

He exchanged a brief look with Henkiel. 

“You are never getting a gun.” 

****

When they finally reached the cabin, it became clear that no one had been there for a very long time. No sign of Al. No sign of Nina. 

Ed decided to take their anger out by making the best fucking stew this side of Central. Truth had retreated through the gate for the moment, something about wanting to eat the stew. They paused in their stirring as they heard someone approaching. 

Ed whipped around and they saw-

“LING!” 

Ed felt herself brighten. Her husband was here! She stepped toward Ling instinctively, but Heinkel stopped her. 

“Kid, aren’t they possessed?” 

Ed scoffed. “I know my fiance, and she’s driving right now. Watch, She’s going to fall over from hunger.” 

As if on cue, Ling face planted onto the floor. Ed ran to her husband, tilting her head to take in the face that she loved so much. 

“My idiot prince.” 

Ling smiled at her. “Hello wife. Can I-” 

Ed cut her off with a kiss. 

Thankfully, her stupid fucking husband got the hint pretty quick and started kissing her back. Distantly, she heard Heinkel and Darius awkwardly turn around, but she had much more important things to deal with. Namely, kissing her fiance silly. 

Some minutes later, Ling pulled away. “As much as I would love to keep going, I am pretty hungry, and I smell soup.”

Chapter Text

Life was going great for Ling. He’d managed to find his wife (who was looking beautiful right now), and she kissed him! She’d made stew and was currently feeding it to him, and he was content .

Before she could spoon another mouthful into his mouth, Ling noticed something. “Did your-” He made a gesture at her chest, “-get bigger?”

Ed blinked, gently setting the spoon down. “Apparently I had been wearing the incorrect size bra for a long time. You can feel after you explain yourself and eat.” 

The chimeras made faces. “Please don’t.”

Beyond the fact that he could’ve been seeing this the whole time , Ling thought she’d made a great deal. 

Ling happily explained about father and the promised day in between kissing and eating. “-and by the way, you look stunning Ed.” 

Ed smiled and flushed. “Thank you. Oh! Nina is learning swordsmanship!”  Ling felt himself brighten. “Oh my daughter is so talented! Who’s teaching her?” 

“Lan Fan.” 

Before he could respond, Greed stirred awake and started struggling for control.  ‘ Pissant, what the hell do you think you're doing?!’

“My love, Greed is trying to come back.” 

Ed looked devastated. “What?! Hey, fight back, you idiot!” 

“Sorry, wife.”

****

Greed was mad at the Pissant. Sure, he’d gotten them out of a bad situation, but did he really have to kiss someone in his body? 

‘ Hey! Not just anyone, my wife!’ Whatever, the point stood. 

“I’m coming with you!” 

Greed looked down at Goldilocks. “Huh? You and who?” 

Goldilocks looked back at the others. “Hey, this person doesn't betray people who work for them!” 

The chimeras looked at each other. “Ed, you can’t be serious.” 

Goldilocks put her hands on her hips. “Where else are you gonna go? Back to the military?” 

They flinched.

She nodded, satisfied. “Thought so. Hey, you got two workers right here.” 

Greed scoffed. “Oh yeah? And what about you? Am I in charge of you?” 

For some reason the two behind Goldilocks started making frantic stop motions. ‘ I really wouldn’t recommend trying that if I were you.’ Whatever Pissant. Greed knew what he was doing! 

“Well?” 

She stared him dead in the eyes. “If that’s what you wanna think, but I’ll just follow you around either way. Can’t let you leave with my fiance's body, I have a promise to uphold.” 

His two new minions behind Goldilocks really started making stop motions then. What would they know! Greed wanted three new minions, not just two! 

“Well you’re my minion then!” 

She looked at him. “Sure.” 

Greed grinned. See pissant? He had it handled! “Perfect! That means everyone here is under my command!” 

“ If that is what you believe.”  

Greed froze, snapping to look back at Goldilocks. She was glowing and had glowing eyes .

“whAT THE FUCK?!” 

Goldilocks’s manic grin stretched further. Her new cacophony of voices spilled out again. “ I said if that is what you believe. Be glad I have been informed that you are not to blame for your creation, abomination. Either way, this will be interesting.”  

Greed's other two minions stepped closer to each other, afraid, and Greed wanted to join them. 

Then, just as soon as it started, it stopped. She stopped glowing, her pupils returned, and her normal voice came out. “Truth, did you really have to do that?” 

Greed felt the Pissant take over and honestly, just let him. 

“Eden, when did this happen?”  

She blinked. “Oh, hey Ling! I got impaled on a pole, struck a deal with Truth.”

“YOU WERE IMPALED ON A POLE -”

****

Darius was having mixed feelings. Sure, he was a henchman again, but at the very least he had insurance this time. Also, he finally got an answer about what the fuck was going on with the kid. 

Apparently, she had struck a deal with a god, and now said god was just hanging out in her body.

What the fuck.  

Well, either way, it looked like he and Heinkel had a new member to their little club.  “Welcome to the club.” 

Greed (or Greedling, as Ed had dubbed them), blinked. “What club?” Heinkel stepped in this time. “The Being Scared of Eden Elric Club. Welcome. You cannot leave.” 

Greedling huffed. “I’m not scared of her-” 

“Uh huh, then why are you standing behind us?” 

Greedling sputtered before Darius interrupted. “It’s fine to be scared of her, we all are. The kid was a force of nature before the whole god thing.” 

Greedling slumped. “We’re not getting rid of her are we?” 

“Nope.” 

“Nah.”

“She’s a good kid.” Heinkel countered, “Besides, I don’t think any of us know how to cook as well as her, if at all.” 

Greedling huffed, looking at Ed as she efficiently packed everything up. “Yeah. She is pretty useful, I’ll give her that.” 

Ed finished up and turned to face them. “Alright Greedling, are we gonna get going? We’ve got places to be!” 

Greedling huffed. “Yeah, yeah, I’m in charge! And as the person in charge we are moving out!” 

****

Ed was humming to herself (and Truth) in the back of the car. 

‘ You should’ve let me scare the abomination more. ’ Ed huffed. ‘No, we both know it’s not Greed's fault. There are worse people to deal with. Anyway, it’s no time for arguing. We gotta start writing to Nina.’  

Ed pulled out a piece of paper. 

Beside her, Greedling asked, “What are you doing, Goldilocks?” 

Ed briefly paused her humming. “Writing a letter to Nina. I don’t know how long it’s gonna take us to reach her, but I want her to know I was thinking of her everyday.” 

Greedling nodded, and Ed thought that was it until- 

“Why do I hear instruments playing when you hum?” 

Ed blinked. 

“There are instrument playing when I hum?” 

“And when you sing, kid.” Hinekel piped up.

Ed felt herself flush. ‘ Truth?’  

‘ I’m simply changing the vibrations around the air when it happens. I’m quite liking this music thing.’

Ed froze as she came to a horrifying realization.

“WAIT! YOU GUYS COULD HEAR ME THE WHOLE TIME?!”

Chapter Text

Al was sitting across from their…. birth father, flabbergasted. 

“So… Me and Brother are half stone?” 

He shook his head. “No. I was human too once you know.” 

Al and Nina shifted uncertainly. Al slowly turned to Winry. 

“… I think I’m going to ask someone more well versed in normal humans. Winry?”

Winry scoffed. “No, Ed’s not fucking normal.” 

Nina nodded. “Mama is really strong.” 

Al continued where Nina left off. “Thank you, Winry. It sounds like we are half-stone.” 

Hohenheim, flabbergasted, sat across from Al and Nina. “.. I had no idea. I could’ve sworn you were human.” 

Al sighed in disappointment. “Do you know anything about us?” 

Hohenheim looked thoughtful. “Let’s see… your first words were brother.” Al felt themself deadpan. “Anything recent? You know, after I was a baby?” 

 “Not really no.” Hohenheim sighed.

Why was Al stuck with this man? They missed Brother so much. Brother remembered everything about Al and Nina, trying to keep up with everything they loved. She even remembered obscure things about Al that they had forgotten about themself. One time, out of the blue, Brother had mentioned the first frog Al had ever caught, down to the species and date. This man couldn’t remember anything past Al being a baby.  

“Brother is a better parent than you and she is 16.” 

Nina nodded vigorously. “Yeah! You're as mean as daddy was to me!” 

Al hesitated. “He didn’t forcefully turn Brother into a chimera, Nina.” 

Nina huffed. “So? Daddy was mean to me, and he was mean to Mama! It’s okay though, ‘cause I got to meet Mama, and Papa, and you! !” 

If Al could smile, they would. “Yeah, Nina. We’ll always have each other.”

“What?!” Oh, yeah. Al had forgotten he was here.

****

Heinkel was terrified. The kid was glowing again, but differently. She had pupils this time and the main voice in the cacophony of sounds coming out of her throat was hers. 

They’d been chased by a soldier and a fight had broken out. The kid had moved to dodge an attack and then this happened . Without clapping her hands, she shifted the wall to make a spear. She threw it at another soldier, almost like she could see where he was going before he got there. Then, faster than he could blink, she tossed a man through three buildings.  

“Oh how fun for us! We were wondering how fighting was going to play out!” 

A quick rock-paper-scissors match with everyone forced him to speak up. “Uh.. Eden?” 

She turned around, smiling at him. “Yes and no, my lion friend! We are and are not. How strange! How wonderful! We are Eden and Truth both, and yet we are neither! Oh how wonderful it is to just be! ” 

Well, that was foreboding.  

“You’re not gonna kill us are you?” 

They gasped. “No! We refuse to kill! We like you all just fine, even you abomination. You are all safe.” 

Well then. Heinkel was stuck with potentially the most dangerous thing on this planet, but hey, at least he was safe.

****

Ed was adjusting to the whole Being-A-Vessel-For-Something-Very-Much-Outside-Of-Your-Understanding Thing. Beyond the second voice in their head, they discovered more shit that apparently came with the package. Apparently, Ed was stronger and faster now. The discovery, of course, happened because she had somehow thrown a fully grown man through three buildings . (As opposed to the usual one.)

“Uh… Truth?” 

‘ Yes Eden?’  

“Explain.”

‘ I’ve simply diverted some energy to increase the strength and agility of our body.’  

‘… right.’

‘ Speaking of which, can I take over? I want to hear the wind ruffling the leaves.’  

‘Mmmhmm….anything else?’

‘ You’ll figure it out.’  

Ed frowned. 

They couldn’t remember anything from the fight, so they turned to Greedling. 

“Hey, ugh. What just happened?” 

Greedling scowled. “You don’t remember, Goldilocks? You were glowing, started doing your alchemy shit sans clapping, and moving like you could see every move they were making. Can you tell me ?” 

“What the fuck ?!” Ed blurted out. Inside their mind, Truth cackled with glee. Greedling grinned. “Does this mean I can call you Truthed? Cause it was like for a brief moment you were both in control.” 

Ed huffed. “Anyone else here wanna call me Truthed?” 

“Nope,” Heinkel said a good distance away.

“Never even crossed my mind,” Darius said, holding up a table like a shield. 

“Good,” Ed huffed. “Now, I’m going to start dinner, and I’m going to be having a conversation with Truth.” 

“What’s for dinner?” 

“I’m making us skewers tonight.”

“Nice.”

****

Izumi sat in the cell, waiting for someone to come greet her. Her kids were right, the people up here were just as funny as she remembered. She had a grand old time reminiscing on how she used to terrify everyone in the North. Ah, memories . She wondered if her kids had kept up the tradition. That’d be nice. 

Footsteps interrupted her musing. 

“Who are you?” 

Izumi looked up. Hmm, Ishvalan decent, cool shades… “You must be Major Miles.” She scanned the man behind Miles. Mohawk, cool arm… “And you must be Major Buccaneer. I'm just a simple housewife, no one special. I came up here for a vacation, that’s all.” 

They shifted in surprise. “How do you know that?”

Hook, line, and sinker.  

Izumi smiled. “I heard my kids-well, students, caused a grand old ruckus up here recently.” 

Miles decided to play dumb. “Kids? In Fort Briggs? I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about Ma’am.” 

Well, Izumi could play that game. “Oh? I could’ve just sworn that Eden, Alphonse, and Nina, my granddaughter, were just here.” 

Buckenear blinked. “You know the Elrics?” 

Izumi genuinely laughed at that. “Know them? I taught them.” 

“That explains so much.” Miles sighed.

Izumi grinned ferally. “Tell me, did they terrify anyone while they were up here?” 

He rubbed his temples. “Eden managed to scare the shit out of four grown men simply by existing, yes. ” 

Izumi cackled. “That’s my girl! Hey, you wanna hear about the time she-”

Chapter Text

Nina was upset that she had to leave without Big Brother Al, but Winry said that Big Brother Al needed to stay there so that she could help find Mama. Now it was just Nina and Winry traveling to Resembool together. 

Nina was getting bored. Big Brother Al and Mama had been teaching her swordsmanship, but Winry didn’t know any! She didn’t know what to do… Winry was really good at making stuff-

Aha!

“Hey Winry?”  Winry hummed, not looking up just yet.  “Can you make me a training dummy to practice on?”

Winry snapped her head up. “Make a training dummy? What material? What are you going to be using to train? What are you training-“

“Um, Winry? Could you please put me down?” 

Winry blinked, setting Nina down. “Sorry. It’s just been so long since I’ve made something! Let’s see- You’re learning swordsmanship right? Hmm. Wood or metal, wood or metal-”

Well, at least Nina wasn't bored anymore.

****

Greedling (shut up, he knows that his name is Greed, but this was given to him, so he would  take it-) and his crew (Plus Goldilocks) were making a hasty retreat. They had just managed to make it out of a cave, and he  ran toward the ledge only to be greeted with a sharp cliff.

“ Shit .” 

This was bad-  

‘ Ed’s got an idea.’   Greedling snapped his head to see Ed making a hook of some kind. 

“Whatever it is Goldilocks, do it fast!” 

No sooner than the words left his mouth, hooks were thrust into everyone’s hands. Goldilocks walked over to a rope connected to something in the distance, put the hook on the rope, and then jumped off the cliff.  

Instead of dying, she zipped down the rope, ending up on the far side of the canyon. 

“Alright, it works! Come on!” 

After some hesitation, everyone made it across safely. Greedling looked up to see their idiot pursuers standing near the entrance and trying to spot them. They were sitting ducks! 

Still, they were a threat. 

“Got any way to take them out?” 

Heinkel and Darius shook their heads, but Goldilocks pulled out a gun. “Where did you get that?” Darius asked nervously. 

Goldilocks hummed. “They dropped it. Bad news Greedling. We’ve only got one bullet.” 

Fan-fucking-tastic-  

‘ Just ask for the good news.’ Well, Pissant, sure . What else does he have to lose? 

“What’s the good news?” 

Goldilocks cocked the gun and aimed. “We’ve got one bullet.” 

Then she pulled the trigger.

What happened next could only be described as an almost comedic cause and effect. The bullet managed to hit the gun of one of the idiots, causing it to fire. The idiots devolved into a blame game that rapidly spiraled into an all out brawl.

Greedling cackled. “How’d ya do that?! That shit was hilarious!” 

‘ Hawkeye taught her how to shoot.’  

****

Ling was having a good time. Darius and Heinkel went to go shopping for supplies, leaving him alone with Ed. She was finishing her letter for Al, and it was his time to strike. Ignoring Greed’s, ‘Pissant what are you doing-‘ Ling walked up to his fiancé. 

“My wife, you have a promise with me left unfulfilled.” 

She blinked, snapping to attention. “What is it?” 

He leaned into her, slowly pulling her onto his lap. “You promised I could feel your new assets.” 

She blinked. “Oh, you're curious?” 

Ling chuckled. “That and horny. I won’t do anything beyond squeezing. Besides, you can tell me all about the science of these wonderful things.”

His beautiful wife hummed. “I mean I don’t get it but, yeah alright. Greed can’t watch though.” 

‘ PISSANT WHAT THE FUCK-‘  

Ling shut Greed out. He wanted this all to himself, thanks. 

She placed one of his hands on each boob then started with her science talk. Normally, Ling would listen to her, but right now he was mainly focused on how squishy and warm they were. “-apparently estrogen is the main hormone-“ 

“Mmhm.” Squish . 

Ling wondered if they would feel just as good bare. His wife was a vision at the moment, face lighting up like it always did when she talked about science. Even better, she was on his lap with his hands on her tits. 

“-and humans are actually weird because-“ 

“Uh huh.” So soft. Ling wanted to stay like this forever, but he could distantly hear Darius on his way back. 

“My wife, unfortunately we have to stop. Darius is coming back.” 

His fiance nodded. “Alright. Thanks for listening to me ramble Ling.”

Ling smiled. “Anytime Ed! I mean it.” 

‘ Dear god kill me now.’

“Oh, Greed. When did you get back?”

****

Ed quietly sang to herself as she made tonight's dish. She could hear the air shifting around her as Truth changed its vibrations. ‘ I like this song. The tune is pleasing.’  

‘ Mhm. Hey, I have a question for you.’

‘ Oh? Go ahead.’ 

‘How did you do that shit to our body? You made it stronger. I thought human transmutation was against The Laws.’

‘ I’ll tell you, free of charge this time. You are correct that human transmutation is illegal.  However you had so much energy not being utilized that I just had to do something.’ 

Ed furrowed their brows. ‘What energy? I wasn’t making any that wasn’t being used.’

Ed heard Truth cackle. ‘ Oh, Eden. Your father was not fully human. He was a walking, talking, philosopher's stone. A trait he somewhat passed onto this body. All the energy you’ve been making on the assumption that you needed a normal human amount of anything has been growing your entire life, and you haven’t used any of it. You have your limits, but you’ve created almost all of them yourself by assuming that you can’t. In that regard, I didn’t do anything. I just removed your mental blockades.’

‘You’ve been using souls?!’

‘No, little alchemist, I have not. All the energy used is just what you’ve made yourself, not a soul harmed.’ 

Oh okay.

Wait.

“WHAT?!”