Work Text:
Alhaitham was absolutely dreading his newest film. Sure, getting a script picked up was always great news, and he had been thrilled when he first heard the director wanted to move forward. However, a few months later, when his email lit up with the cast list - his blood turned to lead in his veins. He instantly recognized the name of the lead - a name he knew far too well - Kaveh.
Now, Alhaitham was an extremely professional man, and did his best to avoid letting personal grudges affect his workplace performance. However, when it came to Kaveh, he had a feeling that was going to be an extraordinarily difficult task. After all, there was history between the two of them, an unpleasant history.
Kaveh had been Alhaitham’s first real love, and his first real heartbreak. Sure, it had been nearly fifteen years since the infamous fight had happened. Well, less of a fight and more of simply… drifting away from each other. But Alhaitham still caught his mind running to it at least once a week, and, if he’s being honest with himself, usually closer to three or four times. And ever since he glanced across Kaveh’s name on that email? The memories replayed like a broken record through his mind daily.
****
Film school - junior year. Alhaitham’s junior year, anyway. Kaveh was a senior, and it loomed over Alhaitham’s head like a thundercloud. He was dating a senior - one whom everyone praised as though he walked on water. But, behind closed doors, things were different. Kaveh was stressed beyond belief. His senior project was rapidly approaching, and from what Alhaitham could decipher, he was drowning in it.
Kaveh had always been the type to think that he had to take everything on himself or it wouldn’t be good enough. No matter how much Alhaitham argued that “good enough” was not the same thing as “completely and utterly perfect,” Kaveh still took on more than his fair share of every project. But this was just too much.
It was a semester-long project. The class was composed of assorted majors; filled with everything from screenwriters to videographers to actors, like Kaveh. They were assigned to groups and given the entire semester to create an original short film. Kaveh had a habit of not only pushing himself too hard, but also everyone else in his group.
Kaveh spent so much time that semester - his final semester - working on his film, that he hardly had any time left for Alhaitham. Unfortunately, over time, they drifted apart. Daily good morning texts blurred into weekly ones.. Saturday evening date nights went from every week to every other. After a while, communication just fell out altogether.
Alhaitham attended Kaveh’s graduation ceremony, desperately hoping a reunion would revive the feelings they once had for one another. But his former lover was nowhere to be found. He bumped into one of his groupmates from the project, who kindly informed Alhaitham that Kaveh had already skipped town. He was headed out to Hollywood to make it big as a movie star. And he didn't even have the balls to say goodbye.
Alhaitham scarcely left his bed for the next week.
****
Over the next fifteen or so years, they’d bumped into each other a few times in professional settings. It was only natural, of course. A well-known actor was bound to run into an up-and-coming, yet talented screenwriter. Once Alhaitham wasn’t so much “up-and-coming” anymore, they’d begun to see even more of each other.
Each time they worked together, the knot in Alhaitham’s heart grew even larger. Honestly, he wasn't sure that it wouldn't explode at any moment. But he had to stay strong, stay professional. After all, the director could simply buy his script and be rid of him. He wouldn't let Kaveh, of all people, ruin his carefully constructed professional reputation like that.
Thankfully, he had been able to buy a little bit of time. He feigned illness, and luckily the director told him they didn't need him for the reading. And so, with a steadying breath, he stepped out of his car and headed towards the studio for the first day of filming. He wasn't truly prepared to see his senior, but he was as ready as he ever would be.
Stepping through the large glass doors, he nearly tripped on his own feet. His eyes went wide, staring for several seconds in complete awe. Kaveh had obviously been through hair and makeup already. His shoulder-length, blonde hair had been pulled up into a messy man bun, and the faint shimmer of golden highlighter danced upon his face.
Still standing in the open doorway, letting in the breeze, Alhaitham’s breath hitched as his eyes moved lower to take in Kaveh’s outfit. He wore a form-fitting black suit, complete with a white dress shirt and black tie. He looked absolutely… stunning.
Although, Alhaitham was pretty sure he would have looked better if he could’ve torn the suit to the floor. He blushed slightly, appalled at how his mind had wandered, shaking his head to rid himself of these damning thoughts. But then he heard that familiar voice call out.
“Hey, junior! We aren't trying to air condition the whole block! Could you shut the door before you ruin the hair Collei worked so hard on?”
Alhaitham rolled his eyes as he stepped through the door, averting his gaze. Kaveh was just as much of a cocky asshole as he used to be. It used to be one of the things he loved most about him, but right now, it just felt annoying. Maybe that was because it was one of the things he loved most about him…
Without so much as a word or even another glance in the actor’s direction, Alhaitham made his way to the screenwriter’s chair, off behind the director. He could pull himself through this. He had gotten through filming sessions with Kaveh before, and this wouldn’t, couldn’t, be any different.
So what if this was the first romantic comedy they’d worked on together?
Alhaitham takes a seat in his designated chair, running a hand over his face in exasperation. He absolutely despised the effect Kaveh still managed to have on him. Sure, he hated the older man with a fiery passion for shattering his heart, but the heart wants what it wants… and so does the groin, apparently.
He couldn't keep his eyes off the blonde as he sauntered around the studio, practically flirting with anything that could breathe. The combating voices in his head were enough to drive him crazy - one droning on about how fine that suit was, while another wouldn't shut up about how Alhaitham deserved better.
He needed everything to slow down for a while, or he’d be unable to focus on filming at all. Reading was as good of a distraction as any, right? Reaching into his tote, he pulled out his current novel, a thriller about a woman being stalked by her husband who faked his own death. However, after only a few pages, someone beside him clears their throat.
Glancing up from the book in his lap, he sees… that face. The one he’d never forget. Kaveh.
“Whatcha readin’?”
Alhaitham just rolled his eyes and buried his nose back between the pages. He didn't have the energy, nor patience, for Kaveh’s games anymore.
“C’mon Haitham. I’m trying to make nice here. For old times sake…”
Alhaitham’s heart skipped a beat at that. ‘Haitham…?’ No one had ever called him that but Kaveh, and no one at all had used that nickname in about fifteen years. But the words leaving Kaveh’s lips were too good to be true. He wasn’t the type to just ‘make nice,” at least not unless he wanted something out of it.
“The past is the past, Kaveh. You were cast in my film, so I have to be here. But we don’t have to pretend to be friends. Let’s not make it harder than it has to be, alright?”
Kaveh raised an eyebrow, smirking at those words, and Alhaitham knew this was going to be trouble.
“Make what harder than it has to be, exactly?”
Alhaitham let out a choked scoff at that question. Trouble, just as he expected. As he looked back up from his book, catching the mischievous expression his former lover wore across his face, he swallowed sharply, willing himself to keep it together.
He could practically feel Kaveh’s eyes boring holes through his skin - waiting for him to answer the looming question. Alhaitham’s eyes narrowed, challenging the older man above him… a challenge that Kaveh took in stride, taking a few steps closer until his waist was only inches from Alhaitham’s face.
Alhaitham sucked in a breath, pulling back in his seat, eyes flicking away, anywhere but at what was right in front of him. As much as Kaveh loved to tease him… as much as he always had… Alhaitham always taught him a lesson afterwards, a lesson they both enjoyed.
Not anymore, though. Not in a long time.
Alhaitham tucked his bookmark into the pages as he stood from his chair, having to squeeze around the towering man who stood too close for comfort. He made it to the snack table, drowning his feelings in hors dourves until it was finally time for filming to begin. He figured he was safe to return to his seat, watching the actors, taking notes, and doing everything possible to avoid Kaveh’s gaze.
****
It was a couple of weeks into filming now and Alhaitham felt as though he was bursting at the seams. The pressure building within him was simply too much to bear, and it was as though Kaveh did everything in his power to kindle that flame in his soul. From stolen glances when he thought Alhaitham wasn't paying attention to little not-so-anonymous notes he would find left in his bag when he returned home.
Eventually, he had decided a confrontation was in order. During one of the director’s breaks, Kaveh was munching on something at the snack bar, and Alhaitham approached as though he was a hunter preparing to pounce on his prey. His eyes narrowed at the elder man, pure annoyance radiating from every inch of him.
Kaveh, for what it was worth, shone with the light of a thousand suns, as he always had. He was intoxicating and addicting. It was that ferocious smile, more than anything else. Back when things were good, that smile was contagious. It was still enough to make Alhaitham choke on whatever he had intended to say. “Junior! Come to join me for lunch?”
The request snapped Alhaitham out of his stupor, and he rolled his eyes at how ridiculous it was. He took a few steps closer into Kaveh’s personal space, looking up a few inches at him in some attempt at intimidation, his brows furrowed. “Not a chance, senior. Go flirt with someone who’s heart you haven't already broken. I don’t have the energy nor patience to keep up with these games of yours any longer.”
With those words, he turned on his heels and walked away. He kept walking all the way out of the studio, despite the gasps of anyone who was close enough to hear what he had said. He didn’t stop to consider if he had crossed a line, or if he might have hurt Kaveh’s feelings. He hoped he had - it would serve him right.
When he finally felt the warm breeze of the outdoor air, he took a deep breath in, trying to ground himself. It had been so long since Kaveh had broken his heart, and after all this time, it seemed like he was trying to win him back, without even so much as an apology.
Suddenly he heard the door click nearby, and he turned towards the sound, scowling when he was greeted by none other than Kaveh. He really couldn’t take a hint, could he?
“I broke your heart?”
Those four words practically shattered Alhaitham’s entire being all over again. How dare he act as though he didn't know what he had done - how he had ruined everything they had. Those hopes and dreams for the future they were building had faded away so quickly and now, Kaveh acted like it was nothing?
“You broke all of me. I won’t let you do it again, so please… just stop trying.”
With those words, Alhaitham brushed past Kaveh and walked back into the studio. He had to get through the rest of the day. Then he could go home and pretend Kaveh didn’t exist - at least until tomorrow came around.
****
Several months passed without much incident, and finally, it was the final week of filming, and today they were filming the scene Alhiatham had been dreading since the beginning - the kiss scene. After months of internal turmoil over this man, he had to sit here and watch him kiss someone else. Even worse than that though, he had to pretend he didn't care.
As the director shouted out, “Action!” and the actors took their places, Alhaitham could feel his heart racing. The voices from the set grew fuzzy in his ears as Kaveh’s character poured his heart out for the camera. Deep down, in the very pit of his stomach, Alhaitham wished those words were for him. They haven’t been for him in so many years.
As the two actors moved closer together, he could feel his eyes growing tearful. Then, when their lips were mere centimeters apart, he practically leapt from his seat, leaving the room as quickly as he could without sprinting. Tears began to fall from his eyes as he made his way into the hallway, looking for anywhere he could have a moment alone.
Luckily, he found a nearby bathroom, slamming the door open as he rushed towards a stall, choked sobs escaping him. He didn't realize he was being followed until he had locked the stall door - until someone else entered the bathroom behind him.
“Haitham…?” It was Kaveh, of all fucking people.
“Go away. Just leave me alone. It’s the least you could do.” Kaveh was the last person he wanted to talk to right now. He couldn't bear to even hear the sound of his voice. If he kept talking, Alhaitham worried he might do something stupid.
Kaveh was quiet on the other side of the door, and if he knew better, Alhaitham would've thought he actually left. However, the bathroom door never opened. Instead, after a few silent moments, the sound of shuffling echoed in the near silent space as Kaveh took a seat outside the stall.
“I’m not leaving. Never again. I made that mistake once and I won’t do it again.”
Alhaitham was silent on the other side of the door. He didn’t know what to say to that. Deep down, somewhere, there was an idiotic part of himself that was still in love with Kaveh, but the reasonable part of his brain knew this could only end in disaster. He tried to take a few deep breaths, hating how broken his sobs sounded, but those choked gasps for air only sounded worse.
“Haitham… I’m sorry. For everything. I never should've left all those years ago. I never should have abandoned what we had for the possibility of something else. Please...”
Inside that small bathroom stall, Alhaitham sniffled softly. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words to say. A few more silent tears streamed down his cheeks, his fists clenched as he tried to pull himself together. He couldn't let Kaveh do this to him - lure him back in with sweet words.
“I love you, Alhaitham. Please tell me I’m not too late.”
Those words sent a chill down his spine. He didn’t see that one coming. Kaveh had always been afraid of commitment, and particularly afraid of “the L word.” If he’s saying it now, he must be running out of ideas - and he must really mean it.
More shuffling noises could be heard outside the stall, and soon the shadow of Kaveh outside the stall disappeared. The sound of receding footsteps followed, and suddenly, Alhaitham’s heart was pounding in his chest.
A small click rang out in the empty bathroom as Alhaitham opened the door to the stall he had been hiding in. A small sniffle left him as his eyes found Kaveh’s, truly looking into them for the first time in fifteen years. Taking a few steps towards the older man, he soon wrapped his arms around Kaveh’s neck, a small smile finding his lips.
“There’s no such thing as too late. We were just too early before. I love you too, Kaveh.”
And then, in all the romanticism of that dingy studio bathroom, Alhaitham leaned in, kissing his ex-boyfriend turned boyfriend-again as though it was the most important performance of his life.
And the best part? It wasn't a performance at all.