Chapter Text
“It’s cute. It’s definitely cute.” Cleo spun around, letting the bottom of the dress flare out. She was definitely toeing the line of too formal for just dinner. Dinner and ice cream, that was pretty typical of Bigb. Not that Cleo minded, preferring clear expectations over spontaneous surprises. He never invested too much, to where Cleo was constantly suspicious of him. Always knew how to treat her with respect unlike a ton of the other guys Cleo had the pleasure of sharing classes with.
She looked herself over again. Perhaps this was pretty overkill. But this marked the full second year of dating and she wanted it to be special.
Cleo would deny being sentimental, but sometimes one couldn’t help herself.
With a steady hand, she applied mascara, the part of the makeup she saved for very last, in case last minute she decided to change her fit. But she was confident in the deep, rich navy dress, with its bright orange-red flowers that patterned edges of the skirt portion. A part of her wondered if she was too pale to wear such a dark color, but she did rather like the navy.
From across the hall, she could hear typical loud noises from her brothers’ bedroom. It was just a typical Friday night for them. Nothing out of the ordinary, obviously. At least they weren’t bothering her, as Cleo had told them to stay out of her room as she got ready.
She stood in front of her full body mirror, taking a picture to get confirmation from Pearl.
Pearl: IT LOOKS PERFECT!!!
Cleo smiled to herself, not able to fully help the small bits of pride. She knew she was pretty, but it was nice to have the confirmation all the same.
Cleo: Thx
Now just to wait. She probably had a good half hour to spend, if not more. The last thing she’d wanted is for Bigb to wait on her. Nervous excitement filled her stomach, rudely interrupted by the clawing on her door.
She’d yell at Scar to get his cat, but she wasn’t in the type of mood to be easily bothered. “Are your boys neglecting you?” she asked after opening the door. Jellie sauntered in like the queen she was and hopped right onto Cleo’s bed. Cleo rolled her eyes fondly before plopping beside Jellie. Jellie didn’t stir, not minding the movement after so much high energy in the house. Nothing scared her.
A few minutes later, Scar stormed into the room, calling for Jellie. “Cleo, did you take—” He cut himself off quickly. “Again? ” he asked, as if what Cleo did with her personal time could actually exasperate him.
“I didn’t take Jellie. She chose to come in here herself,” she answered, ignoring the latter question.
“You know, Dad keeps saying—”
“I know, Scar. Shoo. You can have your cat back.” Cleo rudely picked up Jellie, plopping her into Scar’s arms. She’d heard the “you never marry who you date in high school” thing enough. She didn’t need younger brothers reminding her.
“Well, either way. It’s gross.” He made a face, but ran off anyway. But it wasn’t like they went kissing in public, making a scene for everyone’s discomfort.
Cleo smoothed out the dress, trying to smooth out her mentally ruffled feathers. There was a reason she kept from talking to her family before dates, if only because she got wound up easily. She forced herself to smile and checked the time on her phone. Hardly five minutes had passed. She sighed, but she knew the wait would be well worth it.
She looked over at a stack of projects, required reading, and homework. She had time to kill. Then Cleo thought better of it. She had all weekend to finish. Better to enjoy tonight than put a damper on her mood by doing difficult schoolwork. There was nothing planned for tomorrow. She’d need something to do to be a time killer.
She watched a few videos, scrolled mindlessly through her friends’ posts for the day. Eventually she moved to the couch to wait, feeling all the more anxious and impatient now that she was sitting in the den. Though after what felt an eternity, she heard a knock at the door.
Bigb was the type of person to never ring the doorbell. Always a knock, with the door knocker. The only person who did that. Cleo contained herself from springing up and walked up with poise to the door. At least, she wanted to believe it was done in grace. She prepared a smile, a cordial, polite smile. Not overly excited. They’d been doing this for two years now. She wasn’t giddy with excitement.
“Fancy meeting you here,” she said, a smile hidden deep in her inflection.
“Hey Cleo.” Funny how after all this time, he still was awkward. Tense, in a way.
Tense?
She felt herself pause for a moment, instinct telling her something was wrong. She took a deep breath, brushing the feeling off. He was probably just as worried about getting tonight perfect, and all the work was on him, given he was taking her on the date.
“Uh, I’ve thought of somewhere we could go tonight, but I thought I’d, uhm, let you pick.” He gave a tight smile, not that awkward, genuine smile of before.
Cleo felt her heart lurch in her chest, but not of excitement this time. “Oh. Ok, er, I’ll have to think about it for a minute. You can’t just spring it on me.” She tried to lighten the mood a bit, clearly joke around a bit.
Usually he was awkward, that goofy, genuine, nice-guy kind of awkward. The one that made her heart skip a beat, how he’d always ask before doing. But he was never afraid to follow his heart, his impulses, his drives. And so he’d ask, he was very respectful with boundaries, but he also wasn’t afraid to speak his mind either. Even if he did stumble on his words a bit.
“Oh, sorry Cleo.” He looked down at the ground for a moment, making it impossible for Cleo to read him.
“You can come inside while we talk through tonight.” She had rather hoped he planned something, especially since. Two years, you know. That’s commitment, that’s a big deal. Even if it was something simple, movies, or a fast food chain. She wouldn’t be angry with him if he went simple. She knew it was expensive and he just worked a simple Taco Bell shift.
“Ok.” He sat down stiffly. Everything he did was stiff.
“Relax,” Cleo told him pointedly. “Can’t have a good time if you’re all worried about it.”
He laughed nervously. “Yeah, right.”
Cleo considered her options really quick, making sure she didn’t go too over the top. She looked at the option of a small cafe, before pausing, realizing actually she didn’t want that. “Steak n’ Shake,” she said pointedly, realizing that a milkshake was just the thing she wanted for dessert. All in one place. Simple and easy.
“Ok.” They got up, Bigb leading the way, opening doors for her.
Cleo took a deep breath. It would be fine. Fantastic even. It was just a little nerve wracking. Only recently Bigb had gotten his license — and Cleo was almost old enough for hers — so most of the time they went to places in walking distance or someone else would drive them to their destination. Riding in his little car all by themselves was a much different experience.
Thankfully Bigb was a very safe driver and got them to their destination with no problems whatsoever.
…yet, Cleo could still feel something was off.
They got to their table, which did take a moment given restaurants were slow these days. Things continued to go fine as they picked their order. They always split a meal if possible, in this case, splitting some sliders and fries. Even though it meant less food for them, there was also something slightly romantic about splitting a meal with your date. And it meant Cleo wasn’t stuffed to death after drinking a milkshake too.
“So, uh, you’re doing theater again, right?” Bigb asked. It sounded like small talk.
“Obviously.”
“Cool, cool. It starts…?”
“Next Wednesday. We start auditions then, hear back on Monday.”
“Ok. Cool.”
It got quiet again.
Cleo waited for Bigb to speak whatever was on his mind, since… there was obviously something. “Sooooo… you planned anything else out for tonight?” Cleo asked, trying to break the silence when he wasn’t doing anything about it. Also, she was curious, since she was getting more and more worried by the minute that this was it. That he hadn’t put any thought into it at all. Maybe he didn’t want to be here in the first place.
“It’s uh, it’s a surprise.”
She could hear the lie in his voice. She chose not to comment. “It is, huh? Good surprise?”
“Great surprise.”
She forced herself not to frown. Not to get disappointed. Maybe he did have something planned for later, but maybe it was just going back to his house to play a board game or some video games. Maybe he just didn’t want to admit to how lackluster those plans were. Because surely…
“It better be worth it. Since, you know, good way to kickoff another year. My dad didn’t think it was possible.” She tried to smile, tried to calm the raging wars in her stomach. Eating was going to be a challenge, with how overall nervous she was feeling. Cleo wasn’t even sure that she wanted a milkshake anymore.
But she definitely deserved it. Totally did.
“Yeah, it’s pretty crazy.”
“Thanks for putting up with me.”
Thankfully to break up their little tense fest, their waiter served their meal and drinks. Bigb asked for a second plate, and as he waited for it, he started dividing out the meal. He was always good about not eating until Cleo could eat too, and in this case, he waited for the plate a few minutes more.
Then dinner commenced.
Or, it tried to.
Bigb didn’t seem all that hungry either.
Cleo tried to get through about half of a slider before giving up. Cajun fries were easier to swallow.
“So, uhm, Cleo. I… uh… have something to tell you…”
Alarm bells rung off in her head. She mentally braced herself for the worst, hoping she was being pessimistic as always. “Yeah?” she asked, almost hopefully. Though she held herself back from being actually hopeful.
“It’s not that— er, Cleo,” he took a deep breath. “I don’t want you to think it’s not been a good past two years.” Her breath caught in her throat, and her chest burned; she might just throw up everything she already ate.
“Yeah. Ok.” She took a deep, shaky breath. Not now, not now, not now.
“It’s just. I don’t think it’s the right time and— and I don’t think we’re the right people and—”
Cleo nodded, put a hand on his. “Of course.” Sound reasonable when her head was pounding, her chest was aching. “We don’t have to go on with—”
“No, I still owe you a milkshake.”
Cleo shook her head. “No, I’m serious, Bigb. If you’re ready to cut it off, then I am too.” Her voice was shaking, she knew it was shaking. She would not cry, she wouldn’t. “I’m done eating. Just… let me use the restroom before we leave.”
She heard him make a noise, about to say her name most likely, ask her to calm down maybe. Ask her to stick it out the rest of the night. He didn’t get it.
This was two years. Two years down the drain. Had he been feeling this way for a while? How long was he going to wait it out, toy with her feelings?
She would not cry, she would not.
She ran cold water along her hands, then wrung them out. Took a minute to breath before she spiraled into a panic attack. That could wait until she got home. After she took a reasonable amount of time to calm herself down — not looking like she was gone for too short of a time, not looking like she was gone for too long, she exited the restroom.
“I’m ready to head home,” she said, keeping her words void of emotion.
“Of course. You want to–”
“No. I don’t want the stupid food,” she said, struggling to withhold her anger. All of it, bursting out of her, a release in some way.
She stayed silent the rest of the car ride.
“Cleo, really. I don’t— I’m sorry. It’s just not–”
She didn’t answer. She tuned him out. Scrolled on her phone. The car ride was at least double the time it was before. When they pulled up, she didn’t wait for Bigb to open her door.
“Good night,” she said, still emotionless. She didn’t look back as she walked inside.
She hoped she could head to her bedroom unnoticed, but of course the family was sitting around, eating dinner.
“Cleo?” Bdubs asked loudly. “You weren’t out long?”
She laughed quietly, the only way to dispel the feelings in her chest that wouldn’t cause a ruckus. “Yeah. Short one this time.”
“Short like Bdubs?” Scar pipped up.
“HEY.”
Her parents gave her a look, and her mother’s lingered. Cleo shook her head.
“I have a lot of homework to finish,” she said, excusing herself to the back. She locked the door ahead of time, making sure no one felt it in their right to barge in. Then she lied back on the bed, waiting for the feelings to dispel naturally.
She would not and did not cry. Cleo was not emotionally attached and Bigb definitely did not deserve her feelings if he just wanted to cut off ties so unexpectedly. Probably caught feelings for another girl. Probably wasn’t going fast enough for him. Wanted something from Cleo that her family wouldn’t let her give. — Goodness knew they wouldn’t let her spend the night over there, not that Cleo wanted to. Not with someone like Bigb.
She’d never been more grateful for having a bathroom adjacent to her room. Suddenly feeling like throwing up again, this time she let herself sprew out the very little greasy junk she’d had not even an hour ago.
Once feeling slightly better — one couldn’t feel fully better after being dumped by her long-term boyfriend — she grabbed a change of clothes and prepared a shower. Maybe she could force herself to drown out the feelings, get so tired from the relaxing hot water that she could just… fall asleep.
The shower was about as nice as to be expected. She finished her nightly routine before crawling in bed, hoping to force herself to fall asleep.
She considered texting Pearl. Quickly thought better of it. She didn’t know why, but Pearl didn’t feel like the right person for this stuff.
Group Chat ZESty
(Usually the group chat name always got a laugh out of her — Skizz’s names for stuff were always so stupid — but tonight she couldn’t find it in her to even find it slightly amusing.)
Cleo: Broke ties with Bigb tonight
She set her phone down, not knowing how long to expect before she’d get replies.
Skizz: Oh No! :(
Cleo: Yep :/
Cleo: Of course, it doesn’t matter too much. If he doesn’t want me, then I don’t want him.
Little bubbles formed on the screen. Somehow just texting put her at some ease. Very little ease, but somewhat. She didn’t know why, but texting this group felt better than texting Pearl.
Skizz: Jerk
Cleo: Just regret the two years of my life going down the drain.
There was a long pause before she got a reply.
Etho: This week was the two years right?
And hardly a second later.
Skizz: Im gonna kill him
It made her smile a bit, knowing that she had friends who cared. She didn’t want the gentle comfort that she knew Pearl would give. Sweet sympathies that she didn’t want. Just wanted people who would see it logically. Who’s responses wouldn’t make her want to cry more. Because crying was dumb.
Skizz: My place tmr morning?
As much as she wasn’t sure if she was ready for people. Cleo also was going to hate sticking to herself. Even being alone all night would be awful.
Cleo: Sure
Etho: Is that a passive aggressive sure?
Cleo: lol
Cleo: Murder planning at your house?
Skizz: Yes. Just need to see if I can kick out Imp. Might see if he can hang at Tango’s place.
Cleo: K
She put down her phone for a moment, taking a deep breath. Her eyes blurred a bit, against her will. But she would be fine. She didn’t need Bigb anyway.
It was just frustrating that he couldn’t have called it off sooner.
And then, unexpectedly, she got a text from someone else, not a part of the group.
Scott: Hey, I should’ve told you sooner… hoped it would die down… but Bigb’s been hanging with Pearl a lot lately. Like, I don’t know if they’re a thing, but it felt sus.
Not knowing what to do, Cleo did what mature people do in these situations and threw her phone across the room.
When she finally found the will to live and walk around, she got up to grab her phone.
Cleo: We’ll talk later.
And she screenshotted it and sent it to the group.
Group Chat ZESty
Cleo: image/jpeg
Cleo: Talk tmr morning. I can’t deal with this rn