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He'd always thought the ocean was beautiful.
Even before he found out about the All Blue, he thought it was the most beautiful thing to exist, other than his mom.
There was so much of it, so unlike the small cell he was stuck in. He always wondered, what would it be like at the bottom? What would he see?
Maybe he'd meet his mom there, she'd fit in with the rest of the beautiful scenery, like an aquatic angel.
As he aged, his love and fascination for the ocean only grew. Sometimes, he felt like the ocean was the only thing that understood him.
On rough nights, he often stood at the railing of the Merry, simply staring into the ocean as if it'd give him the answers to the meaning of life as he lit cigarette after cigarette, burning through them faster than fresh air could get into his lungs.
He's always wondered, how would it be at the bottom of the ocean?
Sure, he'd been close many times when diving down to pick his Captain back up, but he never truly reached deep, never truly stayed. What was down there? Treasures, beautiful aquatic life, or maybe just a dark nothingness?
Or maybe, his mom, waiting for him to dive into her embrace again.
Honestly, it didn't matter much what he found down there. All he knew is that he belonged there, hidden deep down with the colorful ocean creatures, with the seaweed and with the ships broken and swallowed by the ocean.
He wanted to be one of those ships. He wanted to get swallowed up by the ocean, his body becoming one with the ocean, nothing left of the ‘Sanji’ that people knew.
He wanted his body to never be found again, swept away and decomposed until he was just another part of the deep ocean.
He wanted to be fish food, to let something so beautiful and something he so deeply admired destroy him, take all of him away.
He wanted his crew to see the ocean and know it overpowered him, took him away and made him a part of itself.
He's always thought he'd die at the All Blue. It was his dream, really. He dreamt of jumping into the All Blue, letting the water fill his lungs and make him feel whole. Wanted to watch the beautiful fish swim around him, already accepting him as part of their scenery and paying him no special mind. And later on, wanted to watch the faint silhouette of the Merry sail away, leaving him to fade down in the ocean.
On nights like these, he sometimes leaned a little too far over the railings, as if the ocean was luring him in, tempting him to let go, to stop struggling, to be free.
On nights like these, he would coop himself up in the galley, cooking to try to occupy his mind with other things.
But on nights like these, the ocean spoke to him. It sang and danced, watching him, calling him.
And on all of these nights, he longed for the day he could follow the ocean's call.