Chapter Text
There was something in his woods.
Grian tilted his head and started to Watch. It was very rare that something new came onto his land. He searched through the nearby souls, skipping over the usual plants and animals.
Grian frowned. He knew there was a new presence, he’d felt the entity cross into his plane, but he hadn’t seen any new souls.
Grian started to get frustrated. Something must have been sneaking across his lands, which was absolutely not acceptable. With a twitch of his wings, Grian teleported himself to where the new presence had entered his woods. He kept himself hidden as he looked around for the intruder.
There was a snap of branches to his left, and Grian whirled around, wings flaring. Something stumbled out from behind a patch of trees. The entity tripped over shrubbery when one of their feet caught on a root and basically face-planted into the ground. They let out a pained ‘oof’ and groaned.
Grian squinted.
The entity looked human, which was confusing because Grian should have been able to recognize him when he was Watching earlier. It was a tall and lanky thing, with messy black hair and a matching black mustache.
Grian scanned the entity again and realized why they’d escaped his Watch earlier. It was, in fact, a human, but its soul was incredibly faded. Grian hadn’t interacted with humans in a few millennia. He didn’t remember their souls being so thin and permeable. Perhaps, in the time that Grian had abandoned humans, their souls had collectively evolved to reflect their destructive existence. In any case, Grian didn’t really care about this human’s soul. He was much more interested in why a human was in his woods in the first place, and why the anti-human wards hadn’t worked.
He scowled and, after a moment of consideration, revealed himself in front of the human.
It was incredibly amusing to watch as the human screamed and scrambled back.
“What are you doing here?” Grian demanded.
The human was gaping at him, its eyes wide and its mouth agape.
“Void.” Grian huffed. “You humans are so fragile.”
“You - you just appeared!” The human said, its voice pitching.
“I’m a god.” Grian replied. “And you’re in my land.”
“A god? I wasn’t sure you all existed.”
The only thing worse than a human was a nonbeliever. Grian gritted his teeth.
“If you don’t start talking, I’m going to smite you.” He warned. He didn’t really have smiting powers, but the human didn’t know that.
“I’m sorry!” It exclaimed, raising its hands up. “I didn’t mean to cross into your territory! I was just exploring!”
“This far out?”
“Uh. Yes? I was at the Moon temple and it’s not that far.”
“What were you doing at the Moon temple?” Grian questioned, eyes narrowing. Pearl was his sister, and if this human was doing anything malicious to his sister’s temple, then he was going to-
“I was leaving an offering!”
“You were-” Grian blinked and tilted his head. “What?”
“I was leaving an offering.” The human repeated. “I didn’t realize there was another god’s temple so close.”
“Why were you leaving an offering?”
The human hesitated, and, for the first time, looked away from Grian.
“Erm.” They said. “It’s a bit… personal.”
Fine. Grian wasn’t going to push. He was a little less angry now that he knew that this human was, in fact, a believer - or at least one that attempted to be a believer. Still, Grian was skeptical towards him.
“What’s your name?”
“Mumbo.” The human swallowed.
“Mumbo, hmm?”
“What’s your name?”
“You don’t recognize me?” Grian asked snarkily. He honestly wasn’t expecting to be recognized by a random human, but it was fun to watch panic cross Mumbo’s face.
“I’m sorry.” He croaked. “I don’t know.”
“How dare you.” Grian said, just to watch Mumbo squirm.
“I’m so, so sorry! Please, don’t smite me!”
“Hmm.” Grian said. He would never hurt one of Pearl’s worshippers - he would hate to face her wrath - but Mumbo didn’t know that. “What offering did you leave for the Moon goddess?”
“A clock.”
“A clock?” Grian repeated, unimpressed.
“Because, well, I thought she might like it. It has a moon on it.”
“You’re giving her a piece of junk, just because it has a moon on it?”
Mumbo winced, and he looked genuinely hurt for a second.
“It isn’t just some junk.” He said defensively. “I made it.”
“Oh.” Grian was momentarily taken aback. Handmade gifts, especially ones that were made with care, were some of the most revered offerings - even more so than those of wealth. He’d honestly underestimated Mumbo a little bit. Clearly, the human was smarter than most if he was leaving such valuable offerings.
“I guess I’ll forgive you for now.” Grian said.
Mumbo let out a relieved sigh, his entire body sagging.
“Don’t come back.” Grian warned. “Go away before I change my mind.”
Mumbo quickly got to his feet and stumbled away from Grian. He never looked away as he backed up, which was a smart tactic (not that Grian would have done anything).
Mumbo got further away, eventually slipping behind some trees and out of Grian’s eyeline. Grian monitored Mumbo’s soul to make sure he left Grian’s territory. It was a bit difficult with how thin the soul was, but eventually the human was far enough away for Grian to feel comfortable and stop his Watch.
He hummed to himself, mind replaying the events. Overall it’d been an interesting day and a nice break in the monotony of Grian’s life. He was glad it was done with, though. He wasn’t eager to interact with a human again - believer, or not - but with Mumbo now gone, Grian figured it would be years before he came across another human.
* * * * *
Mumbo was, in fact, the stupidest human that Grian had ever come across. He’d noticed the man as soon as he’d crossed into Grian’s domain, only a few days after their initial meeting. Grian would be the first to admit that he was easily heated, and this time was no exception. He was infuriated. He’d specifically warned Mumbo to never return, and the human was blatantly ignoring that.
Grian teleported himself to Mumbo’s location, not bothering to conceal himself. The human jumped when Grian appeared, but didn’t look surprised.
“You must have a death wish.” Grian snarled. He grabbed Mumbo by the collar of his shirt and yanked him forward. Mumbo yelped, eyes widening. “I told you to never come back here!”
“I brought you an offering!”
“You-” Grian cut himself off as the words were processed. “An offering?”
“Yes!” Mumbo said, head nodding so quickly that Grian wondered if it would fly off. “I felt bad that I didn’t know who you were, so I did some research. You’re the Watcher, right?”
Grian narrowed his eyes. “How did you know that?”
“Your domain is so close to the Moon goddess’s domain, and the only recorded temple that is that close is the Watcher god’s. I thought you wouldn’t like it if I entered your temple, so I was going to leave the offering here.”
“What did you bring me?”
“Here.” Mumbo slowly held out his hand. Grian released Mumbo’s collar and snatched the item from Mumbo’s hand.
It was a small metal piece in the shape of an oval with pointed ends. Three thin lines of metal protruded from the center of both the top and bottom of the item. There was a button on the back of the metal piece. One of Grian’s greatest flaws was his lack of self-control when it came to buttons and levers. It was lucky he was an immortal god. He pressed the button before thinking about it.
The metal clicked, and then the middle of the piece split and pulled apart. Grian was fascinated as he watched. The metal continued to pull back, though it turned out that there were multiple layers of metal and it was only the top layer that had pulled back. The second layer was revealed to have a very familiar design - a rectangle with the top left and bottom right separated from the rest of the shape.
The Watcher symbol.
“It’s an eye.” Mumbo explained just as Grian came to the realization himself.
“You… made this? It’s been only a few days!”
“I felt bad!” Mumbo said. “And I had some free time.”
Grian was truly speechless. The metal eye reset itself after a moment, and Grian couldn’t help but click the button again.
“Do you like it? Have I accidentally offended you?”
“I like it.” Grian said.
“Oh! Good! I’m chuffed to bits at that, actually.”
Grian finally looked up from the trinket and at Mumbo. The human was fiddling with his hands as he shifted his weight from one leg to the next.
“Thank you.” Grian said.
Mumbo grinned. “No trouble, mate. I’m sorry for trespassing. I promise, I won’t do it again. I’ll - uh - I’ll leave you alone now.”
Mumbo moved to leave, and Grian couldn’t stop himself. He reached out and grabbed Mumbo. His grip wasn’t tight and aggressive like before, but instead it was loose as he grasped Mumbo’s forearm. The human froze, eyes darting nervously to Grian.
“You can come back.” Grian said. The words came low and quick from his mouth - like he was worried someone else would hear. In a way, he was worried someone else would hear. He’d made his hatred towards humans known for forever, and if the other gods saw him now they were sure to tease him for eternity.
“I can come back?”
“Yes.” Grian said. “I won’t smite you, if you do.”
“Oh. Thank you? I’m confused, are you looking for another follower?”
Grian paused. Was that what he wanted? Someone to worship him and hang onto every word he said? Someone that prayed to him, crying when he did not respond and singing his praises when he did?
No, Grian shook his head. That was not what he wanted. Maybe he had, in the past, but that was not something he wanted now, and definitely not from Mumbo.
“Then… you just want me to visit?”
“If you can make the time in your busy schedule.” Grian drawled. He was starting to feel self-conscious.
“I’m not busy at all. I would love to visit, if that’s okay.”
“I wouldn’t invite you if it wasn’t okay, Mumbo.”
“Right,” Mumbo blushed. “I’ll visit, then. Thanks, erm, Watcher god.”
“You can call me Grian.”
“Grian?” Mumbo tried the word. “Grian. Thanks, Grian. I’ll be back soon”
Grian, once again, watched the human leave his domain. He was already kicking himself, if he was being honest, for inviting a human to come back.
The unfortunate truth was that Grian was bored. As a god, he had the ability to go wherever he wanted (as long as he wasn’t trespassing into a territorial god’s domain). As the god of souls, specifically, he was able to see anything with a soul at any time - and that encompassed basically everything. Very rarely was there an entity without a soul, everything that spawned naturally certainly had one to start with. Entities could lose their souls or disguise them, but that was an entirely different situation.
This nearly limitless power was, admittedly, not as fun as it sounded. His powers had lost their excitement after a few hundred years. Part of the thrill in spying and snooping came with secrecy and the threat of getting caught. He lost that adrenaline when he was Watching. There was no risk.
And sure, Grian had friends. He got along well with the other gods - some more than others - but their jobs were so much more active than his. Grian didn’t really know what his point was. He could observe souls, sure, but he didn’t lead or guide them anywhere, not even in death. He couldn’t help but be jealous of the other gods who had so much more to do. Scar, for instance, the god of terraforming, was responsible for landscaping the earth. He could raise and level mountains, turn lakes into rivers, grow forests from a single sapling. It was incredible and beautiful.
And what did Grian do? He looked at souls.
It was so unfair.
So maybe he’d been a little restless and longing for excitement, and maybe that’s what drew him to Mumbo. That, and the fact that Mumbo wasn’t like most humans. He hadn’t tried to use Grian for his own gain, like most humans did within the first five seconds. And Mumbo had brought something for Grian, something that he made. And Grian wasn’t even Mumbo’s god of choice!
He was as fascinating as a human could be, and maybe Grian wanted to learn a little more about him.
But he wouldn’t say anything to the other gods, that was for sure. After all those years he spent complaining, he wouldn’t be caught dead spending time with a human willingly.
So Grian went back to the others and very carefully did not mention Mumbo.
* * * * *
Mumbo came back a few days later and he was bearing more gifts. He had a basket that was full of items wrapped in parchment.
“I’m not much of a baker.” He said with a sheepish smile. “But I baked some bread and I thought you might like it.”
“I’m not the goddess of baking and cooking.” Grian said. He watched Mumbo unwrap one of the items.
“I know, I just thought that you might like some food as an offering. I’m sorry if that was stupid of me to assume.”
Grian hummed. He hadn’t eaten food in a very long time, but he decided to give it a go. What was the worst thing that could happen?
He leaned over and took a slice of - what he presumed was - sourdough bread. He took a tentative bite.
“How is it?”
Grian took another bite, much more eagerly.
“This is so good.” He said through a mouthful. Mumbo grinned brightly at that.
“I’m glad you like it, mate! It was my first time making it, but I thought it turned out well.”
“It’s really good.” Grian stressed. “I wish I was the goddess of baking if it meant I could get more of this.”
Mumbo laughed. “I can bring you more bread next time.”
“You’d better never show up without more bread.” Grian said decisively. “I’m stealing this entire loaf.”
“It’s your offering.” Mumbo said. He sounded amused. “You can take as much as you like.”
“Good.” Grian shoved another handful of bread in.
Mumbo sat down on a nearby log as Grian ate. He had another metal piece that he was fiddling with and Grian eyed it curiously as he ate.
“What are you making?”
“I don’t really know yet.” Mumbo replied. “It’s just some spare pieces.”
“You’d like Etho.” Grian said.
“Etho?”
“Yeah god of…” Grian paused. “I actually don’t know. He’s pretty secretive. He’s good with redstone, though, so maybe he’s a redstone god.”
“There’s no redstone god that I know of, but there is a god of technology and invention. Maybe that’s who you mean.”
Grian shrugged. Sadly, he’d finished his bread. He wiped the crumbs off his hands and moved to inspect the rest of the basket. “Is this all for me?”
“Yeah, mate.”
Grian made a pleased noise. He started to peel off the parchment, finding immense enjoyment in tearing the material. It turned out that Mumbo had brought a second loaf of bread (no longer sourdough), as well as a jar of honey and one of jam.
Grian decided, right then and there, that inviting Mumbo back was the best decision he’d ever made.
He couldn’t help the excited chirp he released upon seeing all the food. He quickly opened up the honey jar and dipped the bread in. It was just as delicious, perhaps more so, than the sourdough.
“Where did you get this?” Grian asked.
“Some neighbors.” Mumbo replied. “I helped them with their door, and they gave me loads of honey and jam.”
“So I’m just getting your leftovers?”
Mumbo spluttered. “No! Not at all! I just-”
“I’m teasing you.” Grian interrupted, offering the human a sly smile. “Don’t worry.”
“Oh.” Mumbo blinked.
Grian rolled his eyes, and, for good measure, stuck his tongue out at Mumbo before taking another bite of bread and honey.
Mumob looked incredibly baffled, but he didn’t say anything else.
“Is that your job? Fixing doors? Being a handyman?” Grian asked as he opened the jar of jam.
“No, but they couldn’t afford to hire a proper handyman to come and fix it, so I offered to give it a try.”
“Nice of you.”
“They’ve been very kind to me in the past, it was the least I could do to return the favor.”
“What do you do, if not fix doors all day?”
“Erm. I’m a bit of a technician. I’m the only one in my town that knows how to use redstone, so I get commissioned to do redstone.”
“What do you do with redstone?”
“It depends on the client.” Mumbo explained. He seemed to gesture a lot with his hands a lot as he talked, which Grian found to be strangely enduring. “Some of them want vaults, others want complex piston doors. Someone asked me to make a moving house! I haven’t quite figured out how to do that yet, but I’m working on it.”
“Why in the world would someone want a walking house?” Grian chortled, grinning madly at the thought. “What if your house runs away while you’re not home? You could lose your house!”
Mumbo laughed along as well. “Not the foggiest, but he was offering a lot of money and… Well, I guess I don’t really need the money anymore, but I still want to figure it out.”
“I’d like to see it if you do.” Grian said.
He finished off the last of his bread. He still had the two jars of honey and jam, and he was a little tempted to just stick a finger into each and eat it like that.
“I’ll bring you some more bread.” Mumbo said before Grian made any rash (and sticky) decisions.
“Okay.” Grian agreed. He snapped his fingers and watched the jars pop out of existence. They had really just been transported to his house on the Server, but Mumbo acted like he’d performed a great act of power. The human’s jaw had dropped and he was staring at the spot that the jars had been, like he was waiting for them to return.
“Thanks for your offering, Mumbo.”
“Ah - it’s alright. I’m glad you liked it.”
“I did.” Grian nodded. “More bread next time, or I’ll smite you.”
“You’ll - no, you’re joking, right?”
Grian didn’t bother to answer. He smiled mischievously at Mumbo and concealed himself. Mumbo made a strangled noise and looked around wildly. He waited for a few minutes before apparently realizing that Grian wasn’t returning.
Grian watched him huff and trek back out of the woods.
With Mumbo out of sight, and out of mind, Grian had no one to stop him from going home and eating spoonfuls of honey and jam - and that was exactly what he was going to do.
* * * * *
“You’re joking.”
“I’m not!” Mumbo exclaimed. “I was stuck for hours before someone realized!”
Grian slammed his palm against his forehead. “How in the world did you make a vault with no exit?!”
“I built it from the inside! I wanted it to be secure!”
“So your glorious plan was to make a vault with no exit to prevent any thieves from getting out?”
“I thought it was clever.” Mumbo sighed, though he still had a large grin across his face.
“You’re a spoon.” Grian said decidedly. He ignored Mumbo’s spluttering protests and instead helped himself to a cookie - Mumbo’s offering of the week.
It turned out, Mumbo was a talented redstoner and baker. The bird-brained part of Grian was thrilled every time Mumbo brought him something pretty and shiny, but he still loved the baked goods.
“So,” Grian said conversationally, “What are you going to do now?”
Mumbo’s brows furrowed as he thought. “I have an appointment later, so I should be leaving soon. Why? Do you have somewhere to be?”
“I meant about your exitless vault, spoon. And, no, I don’t have somewhere to be. I am, evidently, not as popular and busy as you.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Mumbo said. He was well-enough used to Grian’s teasing by now not to get as flustered as he used to (which was only a little disappointing). “I’m not sure about my vault. I’ll have to completely redesign it to include an exit, unless I can figure out a way to get out of there without using a door.”
“You can tell me the results, but don’t you dare try telling me your methods again.” Grian shuddered. “That was our most boring conversation yet.”
“It’s only boring if you don’t understand redstone.”
“I don’t understand redstone.”
Mumbo laughed. “Fair point.”
“How come you’re so busy all the time? It’s boring without you. I’m bored.” Grian complained.
“I’m sorry.” Mumbo said, sounding very unsorry. “I’ll work on clearing my schedule for you, almighty Watcher.”
“Very good.” Grian stood and stretched. He spread his wings, groaning as his joints cracked.
“Feel better?”
“Yes.” Grian picked up the basket of cookies. “Thank you for your offering, they will be dearly appreciated.”
“You’re welcome, Grian. Any requests for next time?”
Grian perked at the question. “Ooh. More bread.”
“Of course.” Mumbo said. His eyes were shining. “Anything else?”
“Those biscuits you brought - when was it? - two weeks ago? The ones you tried to shape like birds and they looked terrible.”
“That was my first time!” Mumbo said.
“And it was terrible.” Grian replied. “I want more of those.”
“Your wish is my command.” He stood and brushed himself off. “I should get going. It was nice seeing you, Grian.”
“It was nice seeing you, too.” Grian said. “Be safe.”
“I will.”
Grian blinked himself out of the physical realm. As always, he watched Mumbo to make sure that the human left his domain safely. He was a little tempted to follow Mumbo back to the town. There was nothing stopping him from Watching Mumbo in the town, but it still felt like an invasion of privacy.
So, Grian teleported himself to his home in the Server. Once he’d gotten past the odd bit of dizziness that came with teleporting, he headed for his pantry to put the cookies away.
“Well, hello there!”
Grian shrieked and whirled around, wings flaring. His basket fell to the floor and cookies tumbled out.
Scar was sat at the table in the corner of the room, his green eyes wide.
“Scar!” Grian shouted. “Why are you here?!”
“I was waiting for you.” Scar replied slowly. “Why do you have cookies?”
“Uh. Stress gave them to me.”
Scar squinted. “You’re lying to me.”
“No, I’m not!”
“Yes, you are.” Scar insisted. “Your feathers are doing that little twitch thing they do when you lie!”
Grian blinked and glanced at his feathers. “My feathers twitch when I lie?”
“They do. You get all puffy and then - No, wait, I’m interrogating you. Where did you get the cookies from?”
Grian swallowed. He had very limited options in this situation. He could try lying again, but apparently his wings were traitors that gave him away. Scar was still staring at him in a way that meant he wasn’t letting this go.
“They were offerings.” Grian said with a sigh of defeat. He looked down at the cookies. All of them had fallen out of the basket. Most had broken into teeny tiny pieces, as well. He would have to wait for Mumbo to bring another batch.
“Offerings? Since when do you have a follower?”
“I don’t.” Grian said.
“Then who brought you an offering?”
Grian winced. “Uh.”
“G?”
“It was a human.”
“A human?” Scar repeated. “And you’re not even lying?”
“I’m not that much of a liar, Scar.”
Scar waved a hand at him. “I know that. But you hate humans. Why did you accept an offer from one?”
“Do we really have to talk about this?” Grian asked.
“Well… No. If you really don’t want to, we don’t have to.” Scar said. “But you’ve been acting weird for a few months now - that’s why I’m here, actually - and I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
Grian felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He had been somewhat neglecting Scar and the others since meeting Mumbo. It was just difficult to see them without worrying that they would somehow find out, and then they would tease him for eternity.
“I’m okay, Scar. I promise. I’ve just been busy.”
“Busy with… with a human?”
“Er… kind of?”
Scar shook his head. “Who are you and what have you done to my Grian? Since when do you spend time with humans?”
“I know, Scar. It’s just - Mumbo’s just different. I don’t know how to explain it. He’s not like other humans.”
Scar looked incredibly baffled. Grian sighed again and rubbed a hand down his face. His wings drooped.
“Look, G, I love humans. I think they’re creative and fun and inspiring. I’ve been friends with humans before. I’m not going to judge you for being friends with one now.”
“I know, it’s just…” Grian shook his head and trailed off. “I dunno. I’ve known humans before, but I haven’t been as interested in them before as I am in Mumbo.”
“Interested in what way? Do you find him attractive?” Scar said. His tone was light and joking, but it still made Grian’s heart skip a beat.
He didn’t answer.
“Wait, really?” Scar’s eyes grew wide again. “Seriously? You’re attracted to him?”
Grian made a face. “You just said you weren’t going to judge me!”
“I’m not judging you. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to humans. We’re basically the same, really, we just live a little longer. I’ve slept with plenty of humans.”
“Okay.” Grian’s nose wrinkled. “I don’t need to hear about that.”
Scar had the decency to look a little sheepish. “Sorry. I’m just trying to say that I understand.”
“I know.” Grian chewed on his lip.
They were both quiet for a few moments.
“So, this Mumbo fella, he brings you cookies?”
“He brings me lots of offerings.” Grian said. He couldn’t keep back the smile that formed across his lips. “He’s great with redstone, too. He makes me things all the time.”
“Sounds like a great guy.” Scar said, and he sounded genuine. “I hope I get to meet him sometime.”
“Fat chance of that.” Grian snorted.
“Why not?!”
“I’m not subjecting poor Mumbo to you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Grian laughed. “You know exactly what that means, Scar. You’ll scare him off trying to embarrass me.”
“I’ll be on my best behavior, Gri.” Scar promised. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“Mhm.” Grian hummed. “Well, I’ll have to talk to him about that and see what he thinks.”
“He’s going to be so excited to meet me, Grian. The humans love me. He’s going to like me more than you!”
“Hey!” Grian glared at Scar. “He’s my human. I found him first, and I’m not letting you poach him.”
“This is the real reason you’ve been hiding him. You’re scared he’ll like me better than you.” Scar teased.
Grian shook his head and stuck his tongue out at Scar.
“I’ll have you know that he’s a very intelligent man. He won’t fall for your charm.”
“They always do, in the end.” Scar said. “Just you wait.”
“Fine.” Grian said after a moment of debate. “I’ll take you to meet him, but only if he’s okay with it.”
“Yay! I promise you won’t regret this, Gri.”
Some part of Grian felt that that was a lie, but the offer was already made. Grian just had to see what Mumbo would say.