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Ding-dong.
Amelia nervously shifted her hands on top of one another. She took a breath to steady her nerves, focusing on the distinct smell of fresh grass upon her nose. The sound of crickets kept her company, underneath the blanket of stars. She waited in front of the modest house, the sight of which brought back the now all too familiar, and all too frustrating, feeling of scratching at the back of her memory.
It told her it was familiar. But it wasn’t. That she knew it.
But she didn’t.
Mercifully, she didn’t have to dwell upon it for too long. For the door cracked open and an energetic, jovial voice filled the air.
“Hello! How can I-” The short, brown-haired person’s voice suddenly froze. His voice faded and his wide smile dropped ever ever so slightly. Not enough for any normal person to notice probably.
But Amelia was a detective.
“H-hi! I’m sorry to disturb you so late at night. You are… Gonathan with a G, right?”
“Yes! That is my name! You are… Amelie?”
“Amelia,” she corrected.
“Ah, yes, Amelia! How silly of me! May I help you?”
“Oh, yes actually. I… do you have some time?” Amelia asked, hiding her trembling hands behind her back. “I have a few questions I just wanted to ask.”
“Oh, of course! How could a knight like me deny a lady such as yourself?” Gonathan stepped aside, allowing Amelia to step into her abode.
Our.
“Hm?” Amelia turned to Gonathan.
“Uhh… yes?”
“Sorry, I thought you said something.”
“Nope!” Gonathan swiftly replied, closing the door behind them. He stepped forward with wide, confident strides, all the way to the dining table. Amelia followed, watching as he pulled a chair backwards, gesturing for Amelia to take a seat.
“Wow, such a gentleman!” Amelia joked with a giggle, taking the offered seat.
“It is… simply a knight’s duty! We live to serve after all!” proclaimed Gonathan as he took the seat across her. “So, how many I help you Miss Amelia?”
“Just Amelia is fine.”
“N-nonsense!” said Gonathan. “It’s… i-imperitive that we… maintain formalities. I… would not know what to do with myself if we were to refer to each other otherwise!”
A nagging feeling thumping with each beat of her heart. An answer to which she had no question. She betrayed no emotion, keeping her smile upon her face. “Then whatever makes you comfortable, Gonathan. I just… can’t shake the conversation I had with you when I regained my memories.”
“O-oh?”
There it was. A fall in the knight’s noble expression. It was the left side of his smile dropping for just a moment and a lapse in the gaze of his eyes.
“Yeah! You… called me something. I think it was…” Amelia placed a hand to her chin. She remembered it, of course, in full crystal clarity. It was the word that haunted her for days now. The one which haunted her like a vengeful ghoul. But she paused anyway, to give Gonathan time to think.
To watch for any clues that were more than words.
“My pearl?”
“Ah! That nickname. Apologies if I creeped you out madam. It was simply a nickname I had for you!”
“Oh? What does it mean?”
“Nothing!” Gonathan shouted immediately. Screamed, almost. “It is simply a nickname. Thou should not dwell upon it too much!”
“I… never said I did.”
“Ah, well, m-mine apologies for jumping to conclusions I was just worried I had creeped you out.”
“No no! Not… not creeped out at all actually! I just… I’ve been trying to piece together what happened in the time since my memory disappeared. I got parts of it. But other parts elude me. And no matter how much I try, I can’t seem to get it back. I thought I could just ask my friends and my guildmates, but while they're more than happy to share about our building projects and other accomplishments. They… don’t seem to want to talk about anything else.”
Amelia paused, on purpose. Eyes pretending to dart down, but still watching Gonathan in her peripheral vision. “I… don’t suppose you can tell me anything they won’t?” Her question caused another fault in Gonathan’s expression. He kept smiling. But the joy had been replaced with… something else.
An emotion she couldn’t place. Wistfulness? Nostalgia?
Pain?
“No, I’m sorry. I know little, you see. If your guildmates are unable to help, I’m afraid I… would be unable to help as well.”
“O-oh, I… I thought maybe-”
“Miss Amelia.” Gonathan’s tone had changed. There was a gravitas in his words now; a firm weight tied upon every syllable. “You have regained years of memories. The rest of your life in fact. The time you spent not being Amelia Watson they… were probably not as important as what you now remember.”
“With all due respect, Sir Gonathan, I don’t think that’s for you to decide.”
A beat of silence. Tension that thinned the air.
“Of course. You’re right,” Gonathan said with his head hung low. “My apologies, I did not mean for it to come off as judgment nor a demand. Simply advice from a concerned knight of the realm.”
“Gonathan, I feel as if you and I knew each other. I don’t know why. I don’t have any proof, but something’s nagging at me that I’m missing something. Something important .”
Gonathan closed his eyes, shaking his head. “We did know each other. I helped you, as any knight would, and ensured you were okay. You were. And that is all.”
“That… can’t be all.”
“I’m afraid it is. We shared conversations, but it is hardly worth remembering,” said Gonathan as he stood. “Miss Amelia, you and your friends were given the gift of remembering your past. Treasure it. Enjoy it. Every second. You have new memories to make, new memories to form. Do not let the past weigh you down.”
Amelia stood, but she did not do it lightly. She shoved the chair back with force, slamming her hands on the table. “You don’t understand, Sir Knight! Every night I dream of a memory I can’t remember. Every… every day my heart reaches for comfort it can’t find. Ever since I got my memory back I feel like a hole has been carved out of me and I know not where to fill it! I think it has something to do with the days I missed but I don’t remember. The time I spent that I can’t recall!” she shouted, painful energy pushing through every word. “Sir Knight, please! If you know something about my life then I would love the help! Any help.”
Gonathan bit his bottom lip. His eyes swirled with conflict. His hands balled into fists and his mouth opened…
“I’m sorry, Miss Amelia. I have said what I know.”
Amelia felt the pain as her heart wretched. It twisted, squeezed and threatened to destroy her right then and there. A million thoughts, a million emotions raced through her bloodstream. Her mind told her it was a lie, but what? Was Gonathan lying? …Was she ?
Her mind searched the files in her brain for a motive. A reason. Evidence she could use to push this further, but she found only emptiness. She felt herself slipping, composure eroding from her soul.
So she stood up straight and pulled her jacket taut. “I… apologize for my outburst, Gonathan. It has not been easy on me.”
“I understand!” Gonathan smiled. “‘Tis no doubt a tough thing you are going through. I wish I could help more, but perhaps your guildmates may be able to regale you more tales of your projects!”
“R-right.” Amelia wore the best mask she could wear, but even now, she could feel it slipping. She followed Gonathan to the main door, watching as he pulled it open and pointed to the outside.
“If I can help in other ways that is not related to your memory, you need only ask! A knight lives to help his citizens after all!”
“Of… of course.” Grass crunched beneath Amelia’s feet as she stepped outside. She spun around, staring straight into Gonathan’s eyes. “Thank you, Sir Knight.”
“No problem! May you carve strong memories, Miss Amelia!”
Amelia’s heart told her to say something.
But her mind and mouth found no words.
She could only watch as the door closed and she was left, once more, alone, with only the crickets to keep her company in the night.
---------
Gonathan stared at the shimmering sphere in his palm.
It glowed and glittered brightly underneath the candlelight. It sparkled with the happy memories of those he wished he could forget.
But wouldn’t.
One by one, everyone would earn back their memories. They would lose knowledge of who she was.
But not him. Not in a million years. If it meant having to never regain his memories to keep knowledge of her alive, he would endure it. Endure a thousand thousand trials.
She was beginning to remember. He should be happy. He should’ve maybe told her everything. That would make them happy… right?
Right?
Right?
Of course he couldn’t. There was a life she had yet to live. There was someone lucky out there to find her shining pearl amongst the world. She wasn’t an item to claim nor a hostage to guilt. No, no matter how much she wanted to remember, he would not make her suffer so. It would be an impossible choice; two lives melding into one. It wouldn’t be fair.
It wouldn’t be right.
He stared at the pearl; lost himself to time in its brilliant glitter.
Maybe somewhere out there she and I are still together. He placed the pearl back into the ornate box, between a leather bound book and a red flower, her favorite. Well, her former favorite.
That’s good enough for me. After all…
---------
“Revelation! Revelation!” Amelia screamed, tears streaming down her eyes. She slammed her hands to her head, digging her hands into her hair. She saw it, a glimpse. They were there. The person she needed to remember. They were there and…
She lost it. Like trying to catch water with a fork, she felt it slip time and time again. There was a memory here, torturously close enough for her fingernails to scratch, but just past her fingertips that she couldn’t get a grasp.
They were important. They were there. More than that, it was the emotion that had eluded her.
Happiness. She knew it was there.
And yet she couldn’t catch it. Couldn’t feel it.
“Why!? Why won’t it work!?” She slammed her hands against the desk, pain retching at her entire body. The watch in her right hand cracked, and the scroll in her left crumpled. “What’s the point of this ‘Revelation’ power, if it won’t reveal what I’ve lost!?”
They were there. Smiling at her. They were there, smiling. Their mouth moved and they said.
I L _ _ _ _ O _ , _ Y P _ _ _ _
She tugged the mental thread. She pulled, holding on for dear life. She needed to see their face. Hear their voice. Hear... just... please...
It was no use. It was gone.
They were gone.
She cried harder. Sobbed until her throat grew rough like gravel.
"Why..."
A knight…
“Stay away from her! She’s my pearl! What are you doing to my pearl!?”
Lives…
“Only she gets to call me by my jewel name!”
…lives…
“Hand-holding!? That’s…”
…
“Why can’t I remember!?”
…
“...Who did I forget?”
…
“...live, my pearl. Live.”