Chapter Text
They’d been together since Beorn’s place. Together used loosely, because what they were really doing was messing around, with talks of future plans and what their life would look like once they took back The Lonely Mountain. But when the future had finally come, after the fight with Smaug, the battle with Thorin’s gold sickness, and the final battle with Azog, it all became too much for Thorin. He was healing still, and rebuilding his Kingdom. It was all very understandable.
“Bilbo,” Thorin had said, softly, his voice scratchy with overuse, “I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t think it could work. It’s just with everything going on, the dwarves from the Blue Mountains coming in droves, trying to get production up and running again, and working on trade agreements with the Men and Elves, I just don’t think there’s time for us. I hope you can understand.” Bilbo smiled sadly, watching as the countless talks they had, about what taking back the mountain meant to them, faded from view, as Thorin said those words.
“It’s okay, Thorin, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. It’s understandable. We can...” He hesitates, the words felt like sandpaper crawling up his throat. “We can go back to being friends… No worries.”
“But,” Thorin hesitates too, as Bilbo looks at him expectantly. “You’ll stay in Erebor, right? To help as everything settles, bunnel (treasure of treasures).”
“Of course,” Bilbo smiles brightly, trying to fool Thorin into believing his heart isn’t breaking. He thinks it works. “I promised Ori I would help him in the library, and a Hobbit never goes back on their promises.” Thorin smiles softly, going in for an embrace now that they’ve finished the conversation. Bilbo happily returns the affection, letting his forehead rest on the broad shoulder of the taller Dwarf, knowing he won’t be able to have this again, probably ever. Thorin is King after all, and Bilbo has to treat him as such in front of his subjects. “Okay, um,” Bilbo states, reluctantly letting Thorin go, “I guess I’ll see you around.” Making a quick retreat from the conversation, Bilbo manages to make it to the depths of the library before he lets himself fall apart. The saving grace of it all was that nobody knew what they had. The company was in the dark about that aspect of Thorin and Bilbo’s relationship, and they were never public with it, so Thorin’s people didn’t know either.
And that was it. Bilbo and Thorin had broken up a month after Erebor was saved and Thorin was crowned King under the Mountain. It was mutual, they had both agreed that with everything going on in Thorin’s kingdom that it just wasn’t working out, and they didn’t have time to nurture the relationship like they wanted. Well, that’s what Bilbo had said. Was it entirely true? Not even in the slightest. And does he hide in the library of Erebor helping Ori reorganize, and restore the books that haven’t completely fallen apart? Also, yes. He is hiding. He decided a week after they broke up – it was too hard to see Thorin in his element. But there were times it was inescapable.
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Thorin’s newly crafted bronze crown gleamed in the torch light of the mines, it was much smaller in size than the one he had been wearing when deep in gold sickness. It sat softly on his head, and felt, or at least to Bilbo, like it was less all-encompassing. His braids framed his face rather than the crown. It suited him well.
The only reason Bilbo was seeing him like this was because Ori had been in the middle of something important. Ori had forgotten that Thorin was doing a walk-through of sorts to take stock of the mines that were usable, and those that either needed to be shut down completely due to the damage of Smaug, and those that could be salvaged, and needed his royal scribe there to take notes.
So there Bilbo had been, dutifully taking notes for Ori. Intently watching Thorin interact with his people, laughing at some of the miner’s jokes, his eyes crinkling when he would smile wide, and nodding his head when they were speaking, ever the attentive leader. Bilbo got lost in the movement of Thorin’s hands as he was speaking. The way his silver rings glistened in the light. Bilbo, knew what they felt like against his skin, warm from Thorin’s heated body, how they felt as they caressed his cheek, his thumb parting his lips…
“Master Burglar,” Bilbo startled, as Thorin used his moniker. “Did you get that?” His cheeks warmed with embarrassment at being caught, Bilbo’s eyes flicking up from Thorin’s hands to the King’s blue eyes, which were mapping his face, as if trying to parse out what Bilbo had been thinking about.
He cleared his throat quickly, lowering his head to the parchment. “I apologize, Your Majesty, can you repeat that?”
“Thruth was just saying that this mining line had the most ore when Erebor was at it’s peak, we should make it priority to inspect it closer for structural damage.”
Bilbo glanced up from his writing, to see if Thorin was still looking at him. His blue eyes were locked onto Bilbo as if they had never left. “It’s been noted,” Bilbo finally said, to break the tension, a weak smile playing at his lips. Thorin nodded his head, turning back to the miner who had held his attention previously, continuing with the tour.
Bofur, who returned to his duties as a miner, nudged Bilbo with his elbow once they started walking again. His eyebrows furrowed in a question, Bilbo just shrugged his shoulders, walking a little faster to get away from the physical questions that were sure to follow the look. He disguised it as trying to pay closer attention to the conversation at hand, but glancing back at Bofur made him realize it didn’t work.
Once the walk-through finally wrapped up as the lunch bell tolled in the distance, Bilbo quickly tried to escape – so as to not get stuck in a conversation with Thorin. Bilbo wasn’t a coward, he just didn’t know what to say to him, or how to act anymore. Whenever they would talk, Bilbo wanted to touch Thorin. He wanted to reach out and move the loose hair that fell into Thorin’s face, and tuck it behind his ear. He wanted Thorin to wrap his hand around Bilbo’s wrist and smooth his thumb over his pulse, letting him know he was listening.
That’s why he was trying to break away quickly, but before he could escape a, “Master Baggins, a moment please,” stopped him in his tracks. He took in a big breath, letting it out slowly as he turned towards the source, and he plastered a friendly smile on his face.
“Of course, what can I help you with?” he questioned, trying to sound chipper.
Thorin’s eyes once again trailed over the entirety of Bilbo’s face. “I just wanted to thank you, for tagging along. From Dwalin’s tails about Ori, I know he has been working you mercilessly in the library, and you must be quite busy with everything. It means a lot to me,” he corrected, “to the Kingdom, that you still give us your services.”
“It’s nothing. Ori was lost in the project he was working on, so I did what anybody would do. No need to thank me.”
Thorin steps closer, the narrow space of the hall feeling smaller then it ever has, Bilbo fought the urge to take a step back, to put some distance between them. Bilbo’s eyes moved quickly around his surrounding to see if there was anybody near by, but he only clocked Dwalin standing near the exit of the mines, everyone seems to have trickled out without his notice. He looked back towards Thorin as the King stated, “It’s just that, I feel as though we haven’t given you anything in return. I feel as though we are in your debt.” Thorin’s voice was quiet, even Bilbo’s Hobbit ears strained to pick up the soft murmur.
Bilbo’s heart raced as his eyes tried to decipher the soft look on the King’s features, as Thorin’s hand raised as though he was moving to touch Bilbo. “There’s nothing required for my help. I give it freely to a fr-friend,” he stuttered out the last words, hoping it’ll remind Thorin that that’s what they are now. Friends. Nothing more.
Thorin’s eyes widened at the words, as though he had forgotten himself, and cleared his throat. He took a step back, breaking the spell that had fallen over them in the hallway. “Yes, of course. Just let Ori know that the transcript of the walk should be brought to me sooner rather than later.” Bilbo nodded his head, and watched as Thorin walked off quickly, Dwalin falling in step beside him. He watched as the two shared a few quick words, and Dwalin jammed his elbow into Thorin’s side.