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Later, Phil would think, that he should’ve seen it coming.
It seemed blatantly obvious in hindsight, but no one had ever brought it up as a possibility when they’d been thinking out combat strategy, the integration of various skills and all possible drawbacks of having a team full of super-human (or normal humans with super-human talents) beings fighting together. After all they all knew of - and watched out for - threatening behavior from the Hulk. The aftermath of Harlem being broken, reduced to burnt wrecked ruins, had certainly highlighted the danger which he could pose to everyone in SHIELD and, potentially, the rest of the planet.
Bruce Banner’s alter ego was dangerous on a level equivalent to a nuclear bomb. Stark’s threat level was pretty self explanatory, all you had to do was look at the Iron Man suit, and every upgrade he produced to know that his mind was his most dangerous weapon (although, Phil was constantly surprised by people who thought it was his hardware). And anyone made the mistake of reminding Director Fury of how easy the man could enter their secure servers then they’d also have to deal the fallout of Fury‘s resulting annoyance. And Thor, well, they all had seen the footage from the Helicarrier of him going toe-to-toe with the Hulk and not getting turned into Asgardian meat paste. Captain Rogers could fight a squad of SHIELD agents and leave them groaning on the ground without breaking a sweat. And no agent (who wasn‘t a new probationary agent) went up against Romanov or Barton in a one-on-one fight anymore, except for Phil or Hill.
Yet no one bothered to voice - or even think in Phil’s case (a lack of professional foresight which was going to nig at him for years) - the possibility that when you had a Norse alien/god of thunder fighting with you in combat then there was a higher than usual chance of getting hit with friendly fire.
Friendly fire in the form of several hundreds of thousands of volts of lightning.
And when that same alien god also brought rain, soaking everyone in your response team, the surrounding street and the target the Avengers were fighting in water - conductive water - then chances became a downright certainty.
Obvious… in hindsight.
*-*-*-*
“Coulson - Coulson… come on, wake up, boss. Open up those baby blues… I’d keep giving you mouth to mouth if that’ll get you to open up your eyes but I‘m kinda worried you‘d stab me on reflex or something.”
Barton’s voice was cajoling and ingratiating. The same tone of voice, Phil had heard him use to try to wheedle out of psychological evaluations or mandatory medical leave, never mind what the regulations said. Phil was of the opinion that it was never a good sign when the man trotted it out.
Worried, Phil managed to force his ten-ton eyelids open. He stared up at the spreading relief on Barton’s face as he took inventory of his body. He felt… shivery. His muscles were aching and twitching, his mouth tasted of blood, his right cheek stung and the smell of burning cotton was thick in his throat. And he was soaking wet. It felt like he’d been tased… a couple of hundred times… with a cattle prod. Or maybe just once with something capable of producing one jolt equivalent of hundred tasers.
His head hurt. His thoughts felt like someone had opened him up and stuffed full of cotton balls. Phil blinked up at Barton, managing a badly slurred. “Sitrep.”
“Glad to have you back, sir,” Barton said solemnly, relief brightening his eyes. “Medics are on their way for everyone. The entire SHIELD team is down.”
Alarmed, Phil tried to sit up. For a split second he saw his entire SHIELD Respond Team splayed out on the wet pavement, Agent Romanov and Capt. Rogers were bent over a couple of them before Phil’s muscles cramped and he flopped back down with a gasp of pain. Barton caught him before his head struck the ground and helped him sit up by propping Phil against his shoulder. Phil blinked and stared up at the sky. Above them the clouds where swirling with unnatural speed as they tore apart. Sunshine cut through the revealed blue sky, showing Thor with his scarlet cape snapping back and forth as he carved out weather with a hammer.
Even with his muddled thoughts, Phil could put 2 and 2 together.
“The lightning,” he said, quietly pleased his control of his mouth’s motor function had returned to him.
Barton nodded. “Yeah,” he looked up briefly to where Thor hovered above them before glancing back at Phil. “Scared the crap out of all of us, sir. We saw you - all of you - go down when Thor hit the Hydra mecha with lightning.”
Phil followed Barton’s glance and saw the smoking husk of a former tank-like vehicle with odd limb-like additions to its sides. That certainly wasn’t standard military issue but it was too wrecked for him to identify anything else about it so he took Barton’s word that it came from Hydra. The disturbing thing? Phil couldn’t remember the circumstances which had brought the Avengers, the SHIELD Response Team and him to deal with it.
The lack of memory shook him more than he’d ever admit. “So I see. Casualties?”
“Other than our own guys?” Barton asked, his eyes flickering away from Phil to scan their surroundings. “No civilian casualties to report.” Barton’s lips twitched up in amusement. “Although the mayor is bound to call up Director Fury over the damages to street, he wasn‘t exactly happy with the last bill.”
Phil snort, amused as well. The motion made his chest ache, and for a split second memory of the last time he’d injured his chest flashed through his mind before he forcibly set it aside. The sounds of the medics arriving helped shake off the lingering memories. Instead, Phil focused on getting to his feet. Barton, knowing better than to try to stop him, helped him up and then flagged a medic.
The medic who checked Phil over wanted to bring him in at once given that his previous medical history really made the medic anxious to get Phil checked out a doctor, preferably by a cardiologist. Phil would’ve refused until all SHIELD agents were taken in but Barton had looked particularly stricken at the mention of Phil’s old injury. Phil had a soft spot for all the Avengers but especially for Romanov and Barton after so many years of being their superior. Seeing a man who would take a leap off high rise without even flinching looking scared over Phil’s sake really reinforced the fact that the affection ran both ways in their relationship.
So Phil let himself be bundled up and taken to SHIELD Medical at the NYC’s office while the Avengers, and a secondary Response Team headed by Sitwell showed up to take over for him.
*-*-*-*
When Thor walked in through the doors of Medical, he brought with him a strong smell of ozone which overrode the scents of the chemicals used for sterilization. Thor looked guilty, downright hangdog, as he took in all the SHIELD agents he‘d hit with lightning, who were scattered around the room, being checked over by doctors and nurses. While not everyone had been hit equal voltage (a couple of agents were still having issues with numbness) every member of Phil’s Response Team had entrance and exit burns which needed treatment. Fortunately everyone was awake and coherent and from the initial exams, no one seemed badly damaged and everyone was is good spirits.
“Son of Coul,” Thor intoned solemnly, as he dropped to his knees with Mjolnir before him hammerhead down onto the white tiled floor. “You and your men have my profound apologies for my mistake. I have not been so careless as to hit an allied warrior in combat for centuries. To do so now, among the noble warriors of Midgard… I cannot speak of the depths of my shame.” Thor dropped his head, as if he fully expected to be physically struck in punishment.
Everyone stared at Thor and then looked at Phil with expectant expressions.
“I accept your apology, Prince Thor,” Phil said gravely, “on the behalf of my men and myself.” He sighed. “It‘s not the first time I‘ve been hit with friendly fire, Thor,” Phil said wryly, as he slid of the examination table. Doctor Ferguson tried to help him but Phil dismissed him with a flick of his eyes.
The misery on Thor’s face was palpable.
“I will, however, be volunteering your time with the R&D Department to make sure that our new equipment is made to handle Asgardian magical lightning,” Phil added. So this doesn’t happen again, was heavily implied.
Thor bowed his head in grave acceptance. “As you decree, Son of Coul. To atone for my error I will work with all diligence with the sorcerers in the R and D magics.”
Phil nodded back and made a mental note to look up the necessary forms for extra requisition of funds for R&D. He had the feeling that they were about to blow the rest of their quarterly budget out of the water before the end of the week.
Phil knew everyone would be fine when the men and women who made up the SHIELD’s primary Response Team in joint taskforce with the Avengers Initiative began to rib Thor over him nearly turning them into crispy critters.
End