Work Text:
31 October, 1981
6:17 PM
The doorbell rings just as Lily is finishing up fighting with their son in an attempt to get him into his little costume. James furrows their brows and stands up, dusting off their pants, “Did they come early?”
“Sirius usually does,” Lily admonishes them, “He normally does when it’s anything that involves you.” James laughs at that, rolling their eyes and making their way to the door.
Instead of seeing Pete or Sirius and Remus when they open the door like James expected, Regulus is standing there, his hair messed up and clothing rumpled. He’s got a wild look to his eyes and he takes a minute to search over James’ body when they whisper his name before he finally responds, out of breath, “Peter sold you out to Voldemort. You guys need to run.”
“What?” James pushes, reaching out and grabbing his arm to pull him into the house, “What are you talking about, Regulus?”
“We don’t have time for this, James.” Regulus breathes, looking around frantically. James pauses at the use of their name, ever since their breakup, the younger boy has referred to them as Potter.
“James?” Lily asks from the living room, walking into the hallway with a costumed-Harry in her arms, “Who was at the doo- oh.” She looks over at Regulus, “What are you doing here, Regulus?”
Regulus takes a second to look over Lily and Harry before he’s finally turning back to James, “I know that neither of you probably want to see me, but Peter… He joined the death eaters and sold you guys out to Voldemort. If I’m not wrong, they’re on the way to kill you three, specifically Harry, right now so you guys need to pack your shit and run.” James takes a minute to look over Regulus, likely looking for a lie or a trick, but they must find nothing because they nod and rush off to where his room is, Lily and Regulus following.
Lily doesn’t seem to trust Regulus’ words as much -- which Regulus doesn’t blame her for if he’s being honest, “James, how are you sure that we can trust Regulus and not Pete.”
“Because Pete’s been weird lately, Lils.” James stresses, grabbing a suitcase and setting it on his bed, “We won’t have much time to pack but we’ll need to get something for Harry. Reg, there are a couple boxes in the garage, would you grab them and bring them up to me?” Regulus nods and rushes off, allowing James to turn back to his wife, “Haven’t you noticed the way that Pete has been acting recently? He’s skittish, looking over his shoulder. He’s been getting meek, calling out of hangouts, and tries to stir around certain conversations. At first I assumed that it was because he was getting more and more nervous about the war coming up but…”
Lily takes a second to think about the past couple of months before she nods, “I… yeah, I can see it.”
“Good, now go start packing. Everything that you need. We probably won’t be able to take a whole lot, but it needs to be enough.”
Lily nods, “Wherever we end up, we can always get more.”
“Or sneak back here once we think the coast is clear.” James nods back. With that, Lily rushes off to her own room and James starts tossing things into their suitcase. Regulus comes back up with three boxes in hand, asking if it’ll be enough, “It’ll have to do for now. Would you help me pack? Grab things you think I’ll need from the bathroom, which is at the end of the hall. You can even grab some of Lily’s things, I doubt she’ll mind.” Regulus nods but doesn’t say anything else as he rushes out of the room.
About ten minutes later, James has their suitcase haphazardly packed and they’re scanning the room to make sure that they have everything that they’ll need for the immediate future. They bring their suitcase out into the living room before starting to pack Harry’s things in one of the boxes that Regulus brought up. When the two of them come into Harry’s room, Harry is looking around stressed and a little confused before he starts to cry. James swears under their breath and Lily rushes off to go to soothe their son, but Regulus stays in the room, prompting James to ask, “Can you grab the cooler that we have from the garage and grab some food and snacks from the kitchen. I don’t… I don’t know where we’ll go.”
“I have an idea of where to take you.” Regulus nods, “I’ll do that though.”
James nods before they swear once again when they remember, “Shit, Sirius and Remus are coming over. Peter was going to as well…”
“Don’t you have that stupid mirror that you always used to talk to Sirius before he ran away?” Regulus asks, “If you guys still have that, just tell them that way.” And with that, he’s sweeping out of the room and James takes a second to comprehend what he just said before they nod to themself. They finish picking up what Harry might need, their bag of diapers and wipes, some of Harry’s toys, some bedtime stories, a bunch of the boys’ clothes, and anything else they think he’ll need.
When they close up the box, they pull out their mirror -- it’s lucky that they keep it in their pocket and they know that Sirius still keeps his handy. Unfortunately for them, Sirius doesn’t respond immediately and James starts getting more and more worried, “Sirius, fuck, Sirius.” They stand up and take the box out of the room before heading back into their own, throwing a hoodie over their t-shirt and grabbing a couple blankets from the closet in their hallway.
Just as they’re doing that, Sirius finally responds, “Woah, Prongs. What’s happening? Is everything alright? Did something happen to Harry?”
James shakes their head, “Not yet.” They take a deep breath and try to organize their thoughts, “Pete betrayed us. He’s apparently on his way to our house with Voldemort with the plan to kill Lils, Harry, and I. We’re packing as much as we can and running. I don’t know when they’ll get here yet.”
“Shit, really?” Sirius asks, “How can you be sure?”
“I can’t explain right now,” They shake their head once again, “Let us get to safety and I’ll tell you more. It’s possible you guys will want to start getting ready to run because I imagine that you’re the next people they’ll go to when they can’t find us.”
Sirius is about to say something before Remus takes the mirror, his calmer face showing up, “James, take a deep breath. You get to safety, Sirius and I will go back and start to pack. You don’t have to try to explain right now, I can tell that you’re freaked out. Let us know where you end up if you think it’s safe.” James nods and the mirror goes blank until James can just see their own face in it. They grab the blankets and go downstairs where Lily is standing with a calmer Harry sitting on her hip and her suitcase by her.
James takes a deep breath, “I told Sirius and Remus and told them to pack up, I imagine they’ll be the next stop. Let’s get all of this stuff loaded into the car, Reg said that he knew a place we could stay at.” Lily nods and grabs the suitcase next to her, bringing it out the door. James stacks the blankets on top of the box of Harry’s stuff and sets both of those precariously on their suitcase before walking it out as well. They head back in and find Regulus holding the cooler that James asked him to get. They grab the other box -- which feels like it has books and a couple other entertainment things in it -- that Lily must’ve thrown together and pulls that out into the car together.
When James and Regulus get outside, Lily is standing outside of the beat up red muggle car that James got from their dad, bouncing Harry. The two of them put the last things in the trunk of the car and Lily hums, “Did you want Regulus to sit in the front so he can direct you and I can keep Harry calm. I think he’s a little frazzled.”
“I don’t blame him,” James breathes, leaning down and pressing a kiss to their son’s forehead, “I’m also a little frazzled and I know what’s going on. Yeah, if you don’t mind sitting in the back that would be nice.”
“Of course I don’t mind, James.” The girl offers him a comforting smile, “Just take a couple deep breaths. We’re safe. As soon as we get in the car, we’ll be safe, for now.”
“That’s lovely and all,” Regulus interrupts, pulling his sleeve down his left arm just a bit, “But we should go. It’s getting late and the death eaters like to strike at night.” James nods and rushes around to get into the car while Lily starts buckling their son into it. Regulus is quick to get in the passenger seat and James is taking off as soon as Lily is sitting in the car fully.
“Where are we going?”
3 January, 1982
4:32 PM
“Y’know,” Mary sighs as the two of them make their way through the gap in the wrought iron fence that none of them are quite sure they want to know how the hole got there, plastic bags heavy enough to hurt their fingers in both of their hands, “I never thought that I would be spending my New Years out here.”
Regulus sighs, “Neither did I.”
“Well you thought that you were going to be dead.” Mary hums, he’s told them about the horcruxes and his death mission into the cave, but he refuses to open up about how he got out of the cave alive.
“I suppose.” He pulls the half-broken glass doors to the building open for Mary and allowing her to slip in before he follows suit, closing the door quickly and taking a second to put the bags in one of his hands down so he can push the table that they’re using to block the doorway back in its place. He picks up the bags once more and ventures further into the building.
Mary is already standing in front of the two larger coolers that they have, Remus walking over to help her. Regulus walks over with his own bags of things, he sets them down and starts to unpack the bags that were in his hands, grabbing out some of the clothing and other things that he picked up. A couple hoodies, a whole new set of clothes for Harry -- mental note, don’t go into hiding with a toddler that grows very rapidly and is needing to be potty trained at some point soon, some more blankets since theirs are currently growing moth eaten and the ones that aren’t aren’t enough for the weather.
He starts setting those aside, watching Lily walk down one of the flights of stairs and starting to help him organize their things while Remus and Mary continue putting their foodstuffs away, “How did it go?” The girl asks, her voice tired and quiet -- Harry has been having a hard time recently and while the others have all been trying to help them out, James and Lily have been working 24/7 to help their son calm down and make the best of the situation since everyone else can go out.
Regulus sighs, “Not that bad, actually. Mary and I have these down by now. But it’s… it’s getting bad out there. The muggle world seems oblivious to it but the death rates and shooting through the roof, the death eaters are getting the advantages and you know who is doing fucking nothing about it.”
“Any word on…” She asks tentatively. None of them want to speak his name, he betrayed them when they fucking trusted him and about got themselves and their son killed, but sometimes he has to come up because he is still part of their history. He was their friend.
The younger shakes his head, pulling out the last of the hoodies and jumpers, “Barty and Evan have no clue what happened to him. It’s possible that Voldemort killed him the minute that he learned that you, James, and Harry weren’t there. If he’s not dead, he’s being hidden from view.”
“Which is almost worse.” Regulus nods and neither of them say anything else before they get to distributing the things that they’ve organised, walking up the stairs to where everyone is sleeping side by side.
“Is Harry asleep?”
“I think so,” she hums, “James was going to take a nap and took Harry with them, so if all went well…”
Regulus sighs, “How have they been doing?”
“Harry and James or just James?”
“Both, and you. How are you doing?”
Lily sighs and takes a second to respond, “We’re… tired. Harry is at that point in his childhood where he’d be difficult but this is just making everything worse. James, the self sacrificing idiot, is trying to take the brunt of everything for me but… they’re wearing themself out.” Regulus nods and their first stop is where James and Harry are laying on one of the old hospital beds asleep -- with James completely curled around their son in attempts to bring him some comfort and keep him warm -- to drape yet another blanket over the two of them and drop off the clothes for Harry and another hoodie for James.
Winter has been hard. This entire time has been hard if Regulus is being real. Shortly after they arrived in this place, James informed Remus and Sirius of where the four of them had ended up and they reached out to Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary to inform them of the situation. The girls were quick to up and move with Remus and Sirius to stay in this place. Though Marlene and Dorcas are in and out working with the Order and Barty and Evan come around occasionally when they can. Regulus is still working with Voldemort as a spy but he can’t keep updated on everything. It’s because of that, he’s in and out of the place for weeks at a time in order to make sure that none of the death eaters get suspicious of him.
They’ve been living semi-peacefully here. Regulus, Mary, Dorcas, and sometimes Marlene will go out and get groceries for them just like the grocery run that Regulus and Mary have just gone on but James and Lily aren’t allowed to go out -- neither of them like it, James has actively argued that they don’t want to feel useless and like they’re just sitting around, but they have to since it’s their and Harry’s heads that are being hunted -- and Remus and Sirius are cautious about going out since they’re the next closest thing to James and Lily. They also want to be there to truly emotionally and physically support their best friends.
But besides that, it’s fucking cold. The place that the group has found themselves in is… less than ideal. It’s an abandoned three story building that might’ve been either a hospital or a hotel at one point in the middle of an overgrown area in the muggle world. It’s hidden and secure but not in the best state. It’s a large open area, the first floor, and the second and third floor are mezzanines with doors lining them and staircases along each side. There are hallways all throughout and ways to get up to the third floor but none of them trust that and would rather stay away if they can.
The open foyer goes up to what was once a stained glass mosaic on the roof but some of the glass has fallen from it and shattered onto the ground far below, where the group tends to roam. There’s debris all over the floor and blocking off certain areas. A front desk stands just in front of the broken doors in front which is where they try to store their community things and there’s what was once a giant planter standing directly in the middle, illuminated by the stained glass on the top when the sun shines through it at noon that curves around a piano standing just in the middle of it, the planter on either side of it. The debris is pushed through around the piano and, even if the group could get to it, Regulus isn’t sure the piano would actually play.
Each of the rooms that they’re staying in, that were once patient rooms, had beds with dingy mattresses and moth-eaten sheets but they figured that they would work. There’s a window in each room, though most of the windows are broken and they’ve done their best to find rooms to stay in that have their windows in tact and they’ve got the sheets from those extra rooms covering said windows and all the holes in the glass at certain points in attempts to keep the place as warm as possible and keep some of the swirling snow out, though there are patches of snow where it gets through the broken mosaic.
That’s not even to mention the plants, vines and all sorts of bushes taking over the building -- a show of just how long the building has been left standing alone, with the way that nature has truly taken over once again -- and Regulus can imagine that it would be pretty in the warmer months but they’ve only been here when the plants have died and are now just tangle bushes of dead branches and piles of leaves that get in the way.
Sometimes Regulus takes a second to wonder just what happened to this building: why it was abandoned, how it ended up in such a state, and what it looked like when there was life and movement within it. He imagines that it would be stunning from the skeleton they have left of it and the way the sun shines through what’s left of the stained glass mosaic, making it so the entire building is shining in different colours, not a sunlit corner untouched by colour -- well, that’s how it would be if the mosaic was whole.
Overall, not the best but they’re making it work. Regulus is just glad they have some semblance of running water, though he’s not sure how since it was figured out while he was off on a mission for Voldemort.
Before he knows it, he and Lily have passed out all of the things in their hands in silence and Mary and Remus are done cleaning up and putting away their food. The four of them take the candles and matches that Mary got and pass them around to each room so people have their way to light up the place -- they would do more but they only need the lights at night and they don’t want to attract much attention, they’re lucky that no teenagers eager for a quick scare and a nice place to vandalise have come through yet.
Looking out from the balcony of the second floor just outside his room, Regulus sighs. He can’t help but feel like they're attempting to live through an apocalypse while the world around them is… well- the muggle world is doing fine for the most part but the wizarding world is in shambles. He should go to bed, even if it’s only around five right now, he’s tired. So maybe he should get some food then tuck in for the night. Mary promised that she would look over Harry tonight so Lily and James can get some sleep so he doesn’t have to worry about it -- but he does anyway.
Instead of doing what he should, Regulus just leans against the railing, fishing out a cigarette from the box that he bought a couple weeks back and has been trying to conserve and lighting it, watching the others wander around. Remus stands around talking to Marlene outside their room, leaning on the railing. On the floor below, Lily and Mary are standing much too close to be platonic and Lily’s got a faint blush on her face.
He’s not sure what’s happening there, if he’s honest. He assumed that James and Lily finally got their shit together and Regulus stepped out of James’ life -- a decision that he regrets often, and the relationship between himself and James is… awkward to say the least -- since they literally got married and had a child together but… he noticed that James and Lily were living in two different rooms when he went to their house that fateful night. He knows that they sleep in different rooms here, even though it would be more convenient if they shared a room to take care of their son. Instead they take turns which night Harry stays with them and sleep in rooms next to each other in case anything goes wrong.
They’re wonderful co-parents but that’s all that they are: co-parents. And Mary and Lily have been pretty heavily flirting recently. He’s not going to ask what’s going on, he doesn’t feel like he has the right to.
“Are you okay?” Sirius asks, causing Regulus to jump. His older brother smiles at him and slides up to him, “What’s going on in that little brain of yours?”
“Wondering what’s going on between Lily and Mary.”
Sirius snorts, “Trust me, we all are. My real question is what’s happening between you and James.”
Regulus furrows his brows, “What do you mean?”
“You guys have been trying hard to avoid each other, there’s a lot of tension between the two of you.”
The younger breathes out a heavy sigh, “You know why I’m trying to avoid them. I doubt that they actually want to talk to me after… everything.”
Sirius snorts at that, making Regulus level him with a look, eyebrow raised. Sirius shakes his head, “I think you’re jumping to some conclusions. You should try talking to them, I’m sure they’d like it.”
Regulus shakes his head, “Let’s… Let’s get through the worst of what’s happening right now, get our feet under ourselves a little more before I do.”
“Whatever you say,” Sirius sighs before walking away, once again leaving Regulus to his thoughts.
It’s not long before Regulus gets himself something to eat and heads to bed. He’s tired and has to go on a mission soon.
5 February, 1982
10:57 PM
Regulus is fucking exhausted on his feet. He’s been gone for almost a month, jumping from mission to mission. It’s late and everyone should be asleep, so he sneaks into the building as quietly as possible, cringing at the crunching of debris that the group hasn’t been able to clean up yet -- they’ve gotten most of the glass from the main areas since they’re all watching out for a toddler that it going to start walking around soon. He’s quick to get up to his room and change into something more comfortable and equally as warm, throwing the suitcase that he’d been living out of for his time away to the side and planning to unpack it later. He needs to remember to put all his clothes in the box that they move around for one of the ‘runners’ -- as Sirius has started jokingly calling them and has since been picked up by almost everyone else -- to run to a nearby laundromat.
He’s just about ready to finally lay down for the night when he hears it.
What it is, Regulus isn’t fully sure. It’s a bit of a muted, continuous noise that is most definitely not the result of the building’s normal environment. It might be music, but Regulus isn’t sure how anyone would have access to music.
He pushes himself out of bed and makes his way out of his room, walking towards the railing and leaning on it so he has the best view of the building. At first he doesn’t see anything, but the noise is louder now, until he looks down and finds James sitting at the piano in the middle of the foyer. Apparently, they had crawled over the debris surrounding the planter and dusted off the old piano, sitting down to play.
It’s horribly out of tune and it looks like some of the keys don’t actually make much noise, if any at all, but James doesn’t seem to mind. Since when did they even know how to play the piano?
They’re leaning into the music, moving with their eyes and Regulus can imagine that their eyes are closed. They hammer their fingers into the keys and Regulus can feel the emotions that are guiding James right now. They’re… fucking beautiful -- but Regulus might be biased, he’s always thought that.
Regulus jumps when he notices that someone is standing next to him in his periphery, letting out a muttered, “Merlin.”
“Sorry,” Sirius says sincerely, leaning against the railing and casting his gaze over at his best friend, “It’s been… a long time since I’ve seen them play.”
“I didn’t know that they played.” Regulus shakes his head, “We were together for nearly two years and I’ve never heard of them being able to…”
“Play the piano,” Sirius nods, his eyes gentle as he watches James with a soft smile, “Effie played piano and they’ve told me that they were always enamoured by it. Whenever they heard her play, they’d find her from wherever they were in the house and sit at the couch near her, just listening to her play. Apparently when they were younger, they’d sit on the bench with her andwatch her hands. They begged her to teach them and after they knew the basics, they were at the piano all the time, learning new pieces but they stopped playing a lot when we started school.”
“Why did they stop?”
Sirius shrugs, “They didn’t have the access to a piano but they’d play at home for their parents. After I moved in with them, James actually told me that they don’t play at all anymore. Not unless they need a way to blow off steam, or get rid of their worries.”
“They’re an overthinker,” Regulus nods, “It clears their head. I was the same way. Piano was my escape.” He shakes his head, forcing himself to look away from Sirius and watch James instead, “You’ve heard them play before?”
Regulus watches his brother nod in the corner of his vision, “Only once.” His heart drops at the sober tone that drips from his brother’s voice now, “I don’t know if you’ve figured it out, but Effie and Monty died shortly after James and Lily got married. When they got the letter that they were sick, it was with dragon pox, and I was with them and we rushed to visit them. Lily came a couple days after when I eventually told Remus what happened and he told her and we stayed with the Potters until they…” he shakes his head, swallowing, “James sat in front of the piano almost the entire time that we were staying with them, playing for their parents. I had to pull them away from the piano to get them to even eat. I’m pretty sure they just didn’t want us to see them crying, but I heard their sniffles. They refuse to touch a piano since then, wanting to keep the memory of their parents alive in some way, it’s a surprise that they're playing right now.”
“They’re… fuck.” Regulus shakes his head, tearing his gaze from his ex-boyfriend in order to feel like he can fucking breathe again, “They’re perfect, and I wish this wasn’t happening. They should be living a normal life with their family.” Everyday he regrets breaking up with James. But he had just taken the dark mark and felt like he wasn’t enough for James, that he was going to tarnish them, so he convinced himself that James would leave him when he finally told them -- they wouldn’t, he knows that they wouldn’t, that’s not who James is -- so he could leave them without that much hurt, though the relationship that, admittedly, ended much too early still pulls at Regulus’ heartstrings when he lies awake and thinks about it too much at nights. It’s worse now that he’s staying in the same building as James, though they do try to avoid each other and Regulus has been gone for a long time.
Sirius sighs, breaking Regulus out of his pondering, “They’re not… they’re not doing well. I know that they want to keep up a happy face for everyone and for Harry, that’s how they’ve always been, but they’re worried and they're stressed. Worried about Harry’s safety, worried about Lily, they’re worried about Remus and I, the entire thing with Pettigrew has been playing on their mind for months, and most of all… they’re worried about you, Reggie.”
The sound that Regulus makes as he shakes his head is a mix between a scoff and a sob, “Why would they be worried about me? I treated them like shit, I broke their heart and ran away. They should hate me.”
“You should know better than anyone that it would take a lot more for James to hate someone, especially someone that they loved.” Sirius shakes his head. He finally turns to look at Regulus, wrapping his arm around his brother’s shoulder, “You… you were James’ light, you were their comfort and their life for so long. You should’ve been there when they’d come to our dorm after one of your dates, all giggly and sighing about how you were the love of their life. When you broke up with them, they knew that it was because you didn’t love them, they didn’t know why you left them at the time but they understood when they learned about you taking the…” as much as Sirius doesn’t mind the fact that Regulus is working with Voldemort, simply because he knows that Regulus is a double agent and doesn’t actually believe any of that bullshit, but he doesn’t like talking about it.
He’s quiet for a couple seconds, allowing the music to drift through the air around them, smothering them in a blanket of comfort and sorrow, before he breathes, “And I mean, you were the one that saved us. You rant to them as soon as you learned about Pettigrew betraying them, you pushed that they leave the same day, you saved their life. You saved Lily’s life. You saved Harry’s life.”
“And James is worried about you going around and risking your life. You go out for weeks without a word, you don’t even send a letter or a Patronus to let us know that you’re alive. It’s terribly stressful, even for people that don’t know you that well, like myself.” Another voice adds on, soft and quiet. Lily moves to stand on Regulus’ other side, watching the brothers instead of her husband, with Harry on her hip.
The boy is incredibly cute, Regulus has to admit, from what he’s seen of Harry whenever they're in the same place and he can absolutely see both of his parents in his face. He’s got big eyes that are the exact shade of Lily’s and the skin of James, if only a couple shades lighter, with the freckles that dust Lily’s cheeks. They’ve also got James’ hair, a mop of messy curls sitting on their head -- though it’s getting a little long and curls around their ears in a way that reminds Regulus of his own hair, which is a painful thought that he shuts down immediately -- but the texture is more like Lily’s curls than James’, softer and less frizzy. He still has all of his baby fat and he’s currently cuddled into Lily’s side, eyes lidded and half asleep, being lulled further into his exhaustion by the music that his parent plays.
Lily herself is beautiful, even tired and in the darkness of the night, she always has been. If Regulus is being honest, he’s always been jealous of Lily on some level, when James was still pining for her, of her beauty in the entire time that he’s known her, and of her incredible brain and grace. Her hair is braided right now, thrown over her shoulder and falling along her spine and her eyes are tired, lidded just a bit and Regulsu can see forming bruises just under them.
The woman places a hand on Regulus’ shoulder near where Sirius is resting his arm and Regulus is overly aware of the shining golden ring sitting on her left ring finger, “We’ve all been worried about you, Regulus. But James is a worrier and they’re still in love with you.”
“What?”
“They never fell out of love with you.” She shakes her head, “They were always checking the news to see if you showed up somewhere, even if it was a report of your death. They were always talking about you and they keep a polaroid of the two of you together in their wallet.”
Regulus furrows a brow, scanning over the woman’s face, “And you… you didn’t mind?”
She shakes her head with a gentle laugh, it’s like bells and Regulus can see exactly why James fell in love with her, moving her eyes to watch her partner instead of the brothers -- they’re technically still married even if they’re separated, “Never. I don’t love James like that either, I’m a lesbian. We got married because it was what was expected of us, everything wanted us to get together after James’ big dramatic scene and so we did, we had a child out of obligation as well, although I would never say that about Harry anymore, he’s our son through and through and we love him more than life. But at the end of the day, our hearts are taken by other people, mine by Mary and theirs by you.” The three of them are silent for a moment, allowing Regulus to process what was just said. During their silence, the song that James was playing comes to a close and they start another song immediately after the last of the sound rings out.
This new song is just as intense, just as emotional, and just as Beethovan as Regulus recognizes. Lily takes her hand off Regulus’ shoulder, pushing Sirius’ arm off as her hand goes down, “Go to them. You don’t even have to talk to them, just… be there for them. They don’t know that you’re back and I think you being there could offer them some comfort.”
“How can you be sure?” Regulus furrows his brows, “How do you know that me being there won’t hurt them more?”
“You don’t break everything that you touch, Reggie, even if you think that you do.” Sirius shakes his head, pulling Regulus back and starting to angle his body towards the nearest staircase down, “You being there for them will do so much more than you realise.” Regulus takes a couple seconds before he nods, starting off towards the stairs.
He’s rushing, he realizes as he gets to the top of the staircase, but it doesn’t feel like it. He knows that he has to hold onto the railing as he goes down because the marble staircases are shallow and thin and slippery right now, but it feels like he’s moving in slow motion. All that he can hear is the music echoing through the building, infiltrating his head and rushing over him like a blanket that’s pulling him to James. The emotion sweeping him off his feet and dragging him to his ex like he’s on a broom with a mind of its own. A broom that’s pulling him towards his lover, the person that he left but never stopped thinking about.
Regulus knows the song that they’re playing, Fur Elise, and he knows that they’re rapidly getting to the ending of the song as his feet touch down on the main floor of the building. He walks as quietly as he can -- Regulus has always taken silent steps, something that came from his childhood and having to walk lightly around that godforsaken house, but in the night where the only sound is coming from the shitty, old piano in the center of this horrid place acting as their safehouse, Regulus feels like every step that he takes is practically a scream into the quiet.
When he finally gets to the middle of the foyer, Regulus takes a breath and goes to venture around the debris and rubble that they’ve pushed around the planter and the piano as silently as he can. He finally gets to the center area, just steps away from them, and he moves to stand a bit behind them, watching their deft fingers fly over the keys and press down with a force that only a person in mourning can and Regulus feels his heart being ripped from his chest even more so at this distance. The piano is out of tune but the song is lovely, just as much as James is, and Regulus longs for them. His heart, his entire being yearns for them. Yearns for the warm, sunny smile that they once had and has since faded and not resurfaced in genuinity for months.
Oh how Regulus’ heart yearns and he can feel his heart bleeding out of his chest and into the air alongside the resounding notes that James plays.
James finishes the song soon after and they finally turn to see Regulus -- they’ve always been receptive and it’s likely that they noticed the three of them standing on the mezzanine alongside Regulus’ approach -- to offer him a weak smile. Regulus’ heart is forcefully sucked back into his chest and he feels it shatter at the sight of James’ red-line eyes and puffy, tear-stained cheek. They’ve always been beautiful, even when they would allow themself to cry in front of Regulus.
”I’m pretty sure they just didn’t want us to see them crying.” Sirius said to him just moments ago -- was it really only moments, it feels like it’s been an eon.
Nonetheless, the younger of the two offers a small smile in return, “Hello Jamie.”
“Reg.” James breathes, the word coming out like just his name could heal everything wrong with the world, like they would worship the ground that he walks on because one day he’ll fix this. Regulus wishes he could give them that, wishes he could fix this shit storm. Their shoulders relax at the sight of him, and likely at the nickname as well, because they’ve always worried too much but Regulus used to take that worry away from them, if only for just a moment. James has always worn their heart on their sleeve and they’ve always been the type to worry themself to death. Regulus swears that if Voldemort doesn’t kill them before the war is over, James is going to work themself into their own grave with how much they overthink and worry.
Merlin, Regulus loves them.
He moves to sit on the piano bench with James, watching as they move over just a bit to make more room. It’s a tight squeeze, most piano benches were not made to be shared by two grown adults, but Regulus leans into James’ side and wraps his arm around their waist, “I’m here, Jamie, I’ve got you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t before.”
James shakes their head, sniffling, “You have nothing to be sorry about, Reg. You came back, you saved us, and you’ve stuck with us even though you don’t have to and we’re not… living the greatest, if we’re even doing anything more than surviving.” Their voice shakes and Regulus watches tears well up in their big doe eyes as they speak and he wants to take their face into his hands and protect them from the cruel world around them that wants to kill James and their family.
But Regulus doesn’t do that, instead he sighs, “I have everything to be sorry about.”
“Let’s not… let’s not focus on what we did wrong, yeah?” They smile weakly at him, leaning into his body and sharing their warmth, “If we’re facing the end of the world as we know it, would we really want our last moments to be focusing on the bad and our regrets.” Regulus doesn’t make the comment that James is focusing on the bad at all times, it would ruin the mood.
So instead he breathes, “You’re perfect.” He blinks in an attempt to stop the tears welling up in their own eyes, “Play me another one?”
James watches him for a while, their eyes roving over his face in a way that makes Regulus understand what Lily said about them not falling out of love with him, before they nod and reach towards the piano. They don’t lean away from him and he rests his head on their shoulder, “Anything for you.” Their hands set to work, finding themselves on the key before playing a piece that Regulus doesn’t recognise -- though James clearly knows it well, the notes seemingly being muscle memory at this point. The song is breathtaking. It’s melancholic with something that reminds Regulus of the joy that they would see in James whenever they were racing around the Quidditch pitch back in school.
Regulus can’t help but be reminded of their relationship within the notes, something beautiful in the beginning but growing more intense as it goes on before everything goes wrong. The song is their relationship but it’s also the world collapsing around them, and it’s the worry that the group won’t make it out of this alive but finding some comfort in the idea that they’ll leave the world together if they don’t make it.
The song is tragic, but it’s beautiful and it’s complex. Regulus feels the tears that he’s been attempting to stop since he sat down beginning to flow down his cheek, almost burning them as the hot tears trace lines in his cold skin.
Regulus stays glued to their side as they work through pieces, but he lifts his head to look around the building that they’re hiding in. It’s beautiful at night, but it’s also daunting, though the music ringing through it brings it some life that allows Regulus to get a glimpse of what it might’ve once looked like. He sees Sirius and Lily standing where he left them, having moved closer to each other in his absence. Remus came out as well at some point, resting his head on Sirius’ and Harry is now fully awake, no longer cuddled into his mom's side but watching the two of them with apt interest that only a toddler can have, the other three are watching them as well. Sirius offers Regulus a small smile and nod and Regulus only takes a second to note Mary walking over to them, her eyes also trained on the two in the center, before he’s shifting his gaze.
Marlene and Dorcas are leaning against each other on the other side of the mezzanine, standing side to side and staring just as the others are. Dorcas catches his eye and gives him a smile and a nod, a small comfort. Regulus smiles back and allows his eyes to drag upwards and take in the mosaic -- a lot of the colours are blurred together with the darkness of the night -- and he watches the stars, one of the only comforts that Regulus has had his entire life. They have an incredible brightness out here.
Regulus closes his eyes only moments later, leaning further into James’ body, and allowing himself to get lost in the notes that James plays, letting him join the stars and letting him believe that they can make it out of this together.