Chapter Text
Luke wakes up one morning and he just knows. Today’s the day, he thinks. Today’s the day I’m going to tell Han and he's finally going to stop calling me Lucille. Of course, it's much easier thought than done. He doesn't know how Han will react, if he’ll be supportive, if he’ll drop everything and kick Luke off of the Falcon. The only thing Luke knows is that he has to do it. He pulls his hair up into a bun on the top of his head, and he hates it. He hates how long it is.
He decides to do it right after lunch. He goes to the cockpit of the Falcon and, as he suspected, he finds Han there, looking at some monitor.
“Hey, Han?” he asks, voice too timid.
Han turns around. “What’s up, Luci?”
Luke resists the urge to wince at his soon-to-be dead name. “I need to tell you something. It’s important. Really important,” and the look on his face is enough to make Han realize that he's serious. Han flicks a switch and sends the Falcon into autopilot and pats the copilot seat. Luke sits down and Han turns to face him, no hint of sarcasm or joking in his face, just concern.
“You alright?”
Luke closes his eyes and musters up as much courage as he possibly can. “I- I don't want to be called Lucille anymore.”
Han’s eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean, kid?”
“I’m trans, Han. I’m a boy,” he says with fierce determination, his posture straightening. The realization dawns on Han’s face and Luke closes his eyes and braces for the shouting. It doesn't come. He opens his eyes to find Han smiling at him.
“That's all? Kid, I’m from Corellia, I grew up around people of all kinds of different genders and sexualities. There's nothing you could do that could scare me away.”
Luke’s mouth forms into a little ‘o’ shape and then he smiles, because finally being out to someone is so freeing, so liberating. Han laughs, a soft laugh, and puts his hand on Luke’s shoulder.
“So, if you don't want to be called Lucille, have you been thinking of another name?”
“I’ve been really drawn to Luke. I mean, I’ve been doing some research and Lucille means light and Luke basically means light too and-”
Han cuts him off. “Luke. I like it.”
“Really?” Luke’s face lights up.
“Absolutely.”
They sit in comfortable silence for a while, and after a few minutes Luke pulls his hair down, letting it fall in waves around him. Han reaches out and grabs a strand of it, twirling it around his finger. “I’m sure gonna miss this when you decide to cut it,” he whispers, and Luke’s not really sure if he was supposed to hear it. He responds anyway.
“Speaking of cutting my hair, would you, uh, would you do it for me?”
Han freezes, dropping the strand that’s in his hand. “If you want me to. I don't know how good it’ll turn out, but I can do it.”
Luke smiles softly. “I don't care if it looks good, I just want it gone.”
“We can do it today,” Han offers. “After dinner.”
Luke’s smile grows so big and Han thinks his face is going to split in half. “Oh my god. Please?”
“Of course,” and then he turns back to the controls, taking the Falcon out of autopilot and hitting something that changes their course. Luke gets out of his chair starts to head toward his room. He stops, turning back to Han.
“Hey, do you think I could, uh, borrow-”
“Yeah. Shirts are in the top right drawer, pants are in the bottom right. The pants will probably be too big, though.”
“Thanks,” Luke mumbles, slipping away.
Han sits in the captain’s chair, a small smile on his face. “Luke,” he whispers, getting used to the feeling of it on his tongue. “Luke Skywalker.”
The time passes agonizingly slow for Luke. He lays around, pulls his hair back and tries to imagine it short, tries to imagine running his hand through it and it not getting tangled up all the time. He reads for a little, then gets bored. He looks at himself in the mirror, smiling when he realizes that Han’s shirt, which is a size too big, hides his feminine form almost completely. He can't wear Han’s pants, but he doesn't really care, because the shirt goes down half of his thigh. so he wears his loosest pair of sweatpants,
When Han finally comes and knocks on his door, Luke’s buzzing with anticipation. “Hey, kid! Dinner!” and Luke flies out of the room, getting to their little makeshift living room in record time. “Jeez, Luke,” Han laughs, taking in his flushed face and labored breathing. He hands Luke a plate and they sit down. Luke tries to slow himself down, but he barrels through his food anyway. When Han and Chewie finish, Chewie takes their plates and Han and Luke go back to Han’s room.
Luke chuckles when he sees Han’s little set-up. There’s a chair in the middle of the room, towels all over the floor, and a pair of scissors on the bed.
“Hey, don't laugh at me. I don't wanna make a mess with your enormous amount of hair,” Han laughs, elbowing Luke lightly. Luke blushes and climbs into the chair, his hair flowing onto the back of it. “Okay, kid, how do you want me to do this?”
“Hold on,” Luke says, grabbing a holder off of his wrist and pulling his hair up loosely. “Just cut right behind the ponytail, and then you can trim it as you go.”
“Alright,” Han mumbles, grabbing the scissors and positioning them where he wants them. He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself because he's shaking and he's nervous because what if he messes it up and Luke hates him forever? But he does it, and a good foot of hair falls to the floor.
Luke’s eyes pop open wide and he laughs. “I- I didn't realize my hair weighed so much. My head feels lighter.” But his hair is still almost shoulder length and Han knows that's not far enough.
“Keep going?” Han asks, taking a small bit into his free hand.
“Yeah. Keep going.”
Fifteen painstaking minutes later, Han’s floor is covered in blonde hair and Luke’s hair is just above his ears. It may be a little uneven, but Luke is ecstatic, running his fingers through it and racing off to the nearest bathroom to look at it. If Han hears a squeal come from the bathroom, well, he has the decency not to mention it.
“Han!” Luke screams, flying into Han’s arms. Han loses his balance for a second but wraps his arms around the kid. “I love it! Thank you.”
He’s got his arms around Luke and Luke is just so happy and smiling and Han gets a warm feeling in his chest. Fuck, he thinks. I’m falling for Luke Skywalker.