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Taking three less-than-amused children to school was not on Childe’s to-do list this morning. If it made it any better, he was also not entirely happy with the arrangement, but somebody had to do it. When Zhongli had asked, he was extremely hesitant, and would have outright refused if not for their mother being so sick she was bedridden and their father’s... questionable driving skills. But hey, if taking his closest friend’s children to school would stop an easily preventable car accident, he’d rather do that than sleep in late any day. Maybe. He still wished he had gotten some extra sleep in.
Especially after having to deal with one specific over-energetic kid sitting in his back seat at six in the fucking morning.
“Hu Tao, would you please settle down? You’re making it hard for me to focus,” he asked dejectedly, directed at the girl jumping around the car behind him, attempting to bug her older brother sitting up in the passenger’s seat. Xiao just rolled his eyes, trying to shoo her away as he scrolled on his phone. The only one of these children Childe would have voluntarily acted as a chauffeur for this early in the morning was poor, poor Ganyu, who he could see in the rearview mirror staring out the car window and desperately wishing for the car ride to end as soon as possible.
“Alright, sure...” Hu Tao stated, but seemingly ignored his warning as she continued to poke Xiao in the shoulder, returning her hand every time he pushed it away. Childe groaned, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drag it down his face.
“I’m serious, sit. Down. Please. ” Hu Tao let out a small ‘Hmph’ at that, but did as she was told, slumping back in her seat and crossing her arms dramatically. Xiao took his eyes off his phone momentarily to shoot him a short glance. He couldn’t exactly decipher the feeling behind it, but he hoped it was at least somewhat grateful. Although, Xiao never had liked him that much, so maybe not.
But it didn’t matter anyway, since the last time he checked the GPS there were only a few turns left until this car ride from hell was finally over. The white lines painted in the road reading ‘School Zone’ finally came into view and he sighed in relief, the sign that his destination was close seeming like a godsend after all he’d been put through this early. ‘ How the fuck does Guizhong do this every morning? ’ he asked himself, finally pulling into the school’s parking lot.
Childe’s first instinct was to pick a parking spot near the back of the building, but a tap on the back from Hu Tao stopped him.
“Mom usually pulls right up to the curb at the front so it’s easier for us to go in!” she said, leaning over the front seat.
“No she do-” Xiao started, but Hu Tao quickly clamped her hand over his mouth, resisting his attempts to pry it off.
“Don’t listen to him, he’s just embarrassed by it! She always drives riiiight up to the front, trust me!” she said, putting on her sweetest smile. Childe blinked a few times, but had no reason to question it, so he just shrugged it off and began pulling around to the front of the school building. Xiao had managed to pry Hu Tao’s hand off his face, but seeing as he couldn’t stop the effects of her antics, he just groaned and turned his face away from the window.
When Childe pulled up to the curb in front of the school, he immediately heard the doors open on the passenger side open. Xiao was the one who stepped out first, followed closely by Ganyu. They both seemed to dart into the school as fast as they could, staring down at the pavement and trying to get away from the car as soon as possible.
But Hu Tao, being the little impish little trickster she was, wouldn’t let them get away unscathed. She was already snickering when she got out of the car, making it clear whatever plan she had was going off without a hitch. She quickly ran up to the front of the school, grabbing onto the shoulder of Xiao’s jacket. Through the rolled down window, Childe could clearly hear the following interaction.
“Bye-bye, uncle Childe!!” Hu Tao shouted, before she turned around to wave to the car, making a big dramatic show of saying goodbye. She then swiveled around, tugging on Xiao’s arm.
“Xiaooooooo, aren’t you gonna say goodbye?” she asked, giving her most sweet, saccharine-y smile. He began shaking her off his arm, but it turned out to be in vain as she simply latched on harder.
“No, I’m not gonna say goodbye, let go of-”
He was interrupted by Hu Tao forcefully putting his hand up, waving it frantically in the air while she giggled at him, still trying to convince him to bid farewell to Childe. Eventually, Xiao managed to struggle out of her grasp, but not without garnering the attentive stares of the other students walking into the building. Some of them began to laugh, speaking under their breaths as they walked in the front doors. Xiao let out a scoff and dashed into the building with his head down, leaving Hu Tao outside, still laughing.
Childe shook his head at her antics, preparing to drive off and leave the parking lot. This was exactly why he was hesitant to do this favor, fun-sized catastrophes like Hu Tao being... well, themselves. Having all of the siblings he did, he understood Xiao and Ganyu’s plights. He pitied whatever adult had to deal with him as a kid whenever his parents weren’t available. He began to press his foot on the gas pedal-
But something, someone caught his eye.
A person walked out of the building, a teacher he assumed. The first thing he noticed was the beautiful red curly hair flowing down his shoulders, framing his face and shiny red eyes. It felt like a movie moment, the way time seemed to slow down when he stepped outside. He couldn’t help but stare, something being just so fascinating about this random person. In that moment, he thought he was the most gorgeous person he’d ever seen.
After a few moments, he snapped back to reality and registered that the pretty teacher was now staring back at him. In fact, they were now both making direct eye contact with each other. Childe’s eyes snapped open wide, and he averted his gaze, boring holes into the steering wheel with his eyes. Faster than he could really process it, he stepped on the gas pedal and drove out of the parking lot onto the road. He wouldn’t be surprised if he’d been over the speed limit then, just desperate to leave.
Well, if that wasn’t the most embarrassing thing he’d ever experienced, he wasn’t sure what was. God, how had he managed to mess up that badly!? That teacher probably thought he was some type of weird creep stalking people in a school parking lot! And the fact that the three he’d dropped off weren’t even his own kids probably made it worse, too. Just imagine, you’re a teacher at a school, some guy you’ve never seen before pulls straight up to the curb, stares at you, and then speeds off as if he’d gotten caught for something. That’s so suspicious! And he doubted he’d even seen the three kids leave his car, as he’d only came outside after Hu Tao’s weird show of embarrassing her older brother.
Damn it, he’d never be able to show his face anywhere near there again! He hoped to god that Guizhong recovered from her sickness soon, because if not, he’d have to drop her and Zhongli’s kids off again, and therefore enter the vicinity of their school again, which he’d already established was probably not a good idea. Not if he wanted to avoid being labeled as weirdo, that was.
The universe really was just trying to set him up for suffering today, huh?
And not even a few hours after he got home after that nightmare of a chore, Childe got a call from Zhongli. And he never got calls from him at this time, knowing he was at work, so it very likely had something to do with the kids.
Great.
He picked up the phone, holding it to his ear, dreading whatever conversation would follow. Hopefully it was something simple...
“Hello?” He greeted through gritted teeth, trying not to make his reluctance too evident.
“Ah, Childe. Glad to get ahold of you.”
“Yea, of course! Did you need something?”
“Yes, actually. You wouldn’t mind if I asked you another small favor, would you?”
“...Uh, sure. What is it?”
“Hu Tao and Xiao got involved in a... How do I put this... An incident at school today. Neither me nor Guizhong are available, so I was wondering if you could go pick them up...?”
And there it was. His suspicions were confirmed. Part of him was curious what this supposed “incident” involved, but he figured he would find out once he got there. Although, he was still dreading having to get anywhere near that school again. That teacher had probably told the entire staff about seeing him in the parking lot at this point, so he was putting himself in a tough situation here.
But... Zhongli was his best friend. It was the least he could do. Gods, this was not what he wanted to be doing at noon on a Monday, but it wasn’t like he could get out of it at this point...
“Yeah, sure. I can... I can do that.”
“Thank you very much, I really do appreciate this.”
“...Of course.”
And with that, Childe hung up the call, only to let out a frustrated groan. He really had no choice in this matter, did he? He reluctantly went to go grab his coat and keys, stepping out the door of his apartment with a exasperated sigh.
The car ride seemed to drag, even more so than it had that morning. He pulled through it though, eventually arriving back at the school. He parked in the back this time, figuring he’d rather walk around the school than risk the chance of somebody recognizing his car. When he got around to the front, Hu Tao and Xiao were already standing in the front, and-
Oh. Oh no.
The pretty teacher was there too. Although, he looked a lot different than he did that morning. Traumatized was really the only word to describe it... He could almost relate. Especially once he saw the state the two kids were in.
Hu Tao had blood dripping down her forearm—whether it was hers or not, he didn’t know and frankly didn’t care to. Xiao, on the other hand, well... He was certainly in a state. His hair had been significantly tangled, there was a red mark forming on his cheek from a slap that looked like it stung, and- Jesus Christ, was that chocolate milk in his hair? What the hell had happened here?
He could tell his face was twisted into an expression of horror and disbelief, the exasperated sigh the teacher let out making that evident.
“What... happened?” Childe asked hesitantly, a little scared to even utter that question.
“...They got in a fight,” was the only real explanation he got. So much for a proper story, he supposed.
Hu Tao and Xiao seemed a little frustrated with each other, but were otherwise eager to go home. Childe pointed towards the back of the school, silently telling them to just go get in the car. And while he wasn’t exactly happy about having blood and chocolate milk all over his car, he really had no other option. They both complied, starting to make their way around the side of the building.
Childe was about to follow, a million different thoughts clouding up his brain, when he heard someone call out to him. He stopped in his tracks, turning around to face them and raising an eyebrow. It was that stupidly attractive teacher again, holding out an arm like he was trying to telepathically stop him.
“Hey, wait a minute.”
“Yea?”
“You said you dropped them off this morning, right? I remember you now.”
Oh. Oh shit. This was not good. He knew that he would have remembered an encounter like that, who wouldn’t? He stuttered a little bit, standing there awkwardly, trying to force the words out.
“I... Yeah, uh... Their mom is sick, and-”
“You were the one gawking at me from your car.”
Wait, what? That’s what he remembered? Not the freaking out, not the speeding off and looking suspicious... The staring. The gaping at him like he was some wonder of the world.
So he was being paranoid for no reason. How fun.
“O-oh, yeah... Guess I was, heh.”
The teacher didn’t reply. Instead, he just crossed his arms over his chest, looking a little bit... Impatient, or expectant, even? He had an almost frustrated frown on his face, studying him as if he was sizing him up. Had he done something? It confused him to no end, although he definitely didn’t mind the attention all that much...
“Was there something else you needed...?”
This seemed to have taken the man aback.
“Oh, no, I just- I thought... You seemed like the type to want to ask me out, or ask for my number, or... Something. You struck me as a little more brash.”
Oh. Well he wasn’t entirely wrong. Childe did tend to be more on the reckless side usually, but with all his confusion and paranoia, the thoughts had slipped his mind. And it didn’t help that he was probably blushing like a madman, too... He gave a quiet chuckle, tilting his head with a hint of new confidence.
“Really? Well... Can I have your number, then?”
He was met with a slight smile and a quirked eyebrow, a challenging look in his eyes.
“Hmm... No.”
“Wait, what?”
“No.”
“But you- You looked like you were waiting for me to ask-?”
“I was. But it doesn’t count if I have to ask you, does it? So I’d say you’ll just have to try a little harder next time.”
Childe just gave a smirk and rolled his eyes playfully. So he was going to play that game, huh? Well, Childe was an expert at it, so he could play along. He watched as the teacher turned on his heel, starting to make his way back to the building. He called out to him, trying to hold his attention for just a second longer.
“Hey, wait!”
The teacher turned around with a questioning look.
“Hmm?”
“Can I at least get your name?”
“...Diluc.”
“Well, Diluc, I guess I’ll see you around?”
Diluc gave a little huff of laughter, before turning around again, sending him off with a little wave.
“I guess you will.”
And with that. Childe started to leave as well, making his way to the back of the school where his car sat. He didn’t want to keep Hu Tao and Xiao waiting, after all.
He slid into the driver’s seat with a grin plastered across his face, a sense of giddiness building up in him. He was glad to see the kids hadn’t destroyed his car, so that only added to it. Maybe this arrangement wouldn’t be so bad, after all? He’s doing a favor for a friend, bonding with said friend’s kids (who really never seemed to like him that much), and being given an opportunity to get a date? This couldn’t be too horrible, could it?
Hu Tao definitely noticed his strange new happiness, and being the person she was, she couldn’t not speak up about it.
“Uncle Childe? What’s got you so excited?” she asked, leaning over the front seat.
“Oh, nothing...” he starts, chuckling softly to himself, adjusting the rear-view mirror. “But try not to get yourself in any more trouble? I’ll still be picking you up for a few days, so I’d be best for all of us if we can at least put up with each other...”