Work Text:
Wonsang had called Yechan earlier and asked if he could come to the studio because he was working on the violin solo for a new song but it was missing something and he needed to hear it to know what was wrong. Yechan had grabbed his keys and drove over right away.
That was hours ago though. After working on it together and recording until Wonsang is satisfied, Yechan decides that his brain is fried and it’s time for a break.
When he glances over, Wonsang doesn’t look much better. He’s sagging into his chair like a deflated balloon and running his hand through his hair, making it stick up in funny angles. He looks exhausted now that the problem is momentarily solved and he’s finally come up for air from the haze of intense focus he always sinks into when he’s working on new music. It’s part of the reason Yechan always agrees to come to the studio whenever Wonsang asks, even if it’s late enough that he’s already home for the night, laying down in pajamas and playing games on his phone. Wonsang does so much for them; rolling out of bed and driving to the studio when he asks seems like the least he can do.
Yechan tries his best to take care of them all in these little ways. So he drags Wonsang with him to the convenience store for some fresh air, grabbing drinks and a couple of snacks before heading back to the studio. Yechan sets the plastic bag on the table and takes out their drinks, strawberry milk for Wonsang and an iced latte for him. He’s probably going to regret that choice given how late it is, but he’s so tired that without some caffeine he’s not totally sure he’ll be able to drive himself home.
They sip on their drinks together, chatting and refueling. Talking about work eventually devolves into talking about their personal lives. Yechan listens as Wonsang laments about how he’s been trying to catch Gwangil’s attention in vain.
“You know during that shoot last week when the stylist made his hair all fluffy and they gave him that big sweater?” Wonsang says. “I held his hand and looked him in the eyes and told him how cute he was, and you know what he did? He just looked away and said ‘Thanks hyung, that’s nice.’”
Yechan didn’t see it happen, but he can picture it perfectly. How big and serious Wonsang’s eyes must’ve been, how Gwangil’s ears would've turned so red. It’s cute that Wonsang is talking with him about this. Usually Wonsang is the one giving him advice, not the other way around. Even though Yechan is older, whenever he’s with Wonsang he somehow ends up feeling smaller and younger than he actually is. It’s only at times like this that Yechan remembers that Wonsang is only a year older than their maknae.
“We tell Gwangil-ie that he’s cute all the time. Maybe he just thought it was a normal compliment and that’s why he thanked you?” Yechan replies.
“But I’ve told him things like that so many times! And I can never read his reaction at all!” Wonsang whines, his voice laced with frustration. “I’m too shy to do more, then my feelings will be so obvious. Maybe I should just accept that he doesn’t like me back.”
“I don’t know, Wonsang-ah,” says Yechan, who had gently patted Gwangil’s head and said Oh Illie just a few days ago when he was whining about how confused and flustered Wonsang keeps making him. He’s been trying his best to nudge them in the right direction without giving away too much. Yechan thinks it would be easier to just tell them, but he talked about it with Sangyeop once and Sangyeop was firm that they need to figure it out themselves, that it’s best not to interfere. Sangyeop is usually right about these kinds of things, so Yechan has been good and has mostly kept his mouth zipped. “You give out compliments all the time. You have a lot of love and you’re so affectionate to all of us. He might not have realized it was special.”
Wonsang takes a sip of his drink and looks at him thoughtfully. “Then how do I make him realize it’s special?”
They both sit with that for a moment, thinking.
“What if I wrote him a song?” Wonsang asks. “You know, even though we have a lot of songs about love, we don’t have very many love songs like that. Or I could write one with him! He once said that he wanted to make a song together.”
Yechan thinks about it and smiles. “That’s not a bad idea.”
Maybe it’s because he’s a romantic at heart, but two wonderful musicians and lovers of music making a song together does seem pretty special. When he’s worked on songs with Sangyeop, they spent a lot of hours together huddled in a studio, tossing ideas back and forth. Even when it was hard, it’s something that feels like it’s always brought them closer.
“Hyung?” Wonsang asks.
“Hm?”
“How did you make Sangyeop hyung realize you liked him?”
Yechan tilts his head, confused. “What do you mean?”
“Well… didn’t one of you have to confess at some point? Since you’re dating now?” Wonsang says, like the two of them dating is an accepted fact of the universe and not a secret hope Yechan has harbored deep in his heart for years now. Yechan blinks. He feels like he accidentally stepped into a parallel universe. Maybe he was so tired he really did fall asleep and now he’s dreaming.
“I… no?” Yechan manages.
Wonsang gapes at him. “You’re not?!?”
“No!? Why would you think that??” Yechan squawks. He almost knocks his can of coffee over.
“I don’t know!” Wonsang exclaims. “You and Sangyeop hyung have been so close lately I was sure there was something more between you! I thought maybe you had gotten together quietly and were just waiting for the right time to tell us…”
“Well… we’re not. Together, that is.”
Wonsang looks right at him with his sweet, round eyes. “But you like him, right?”
Yechan can only nod.
“Oh hyung,” Wonsang says, reaching out to pat one of his hands across the table. His voice is kind and full of sympathy. Wonsang has always been the best with big feelings, out of all of them. “Does he like you? Like that?”
He shrugs, a little helplessly. “I wish I knew.”
Yechan knows they’re close and that Sangyeop trusts him a lot, but he doesn’t know if that translates to any romantic feelings on his end. Sometimes Sangyeop is so easy to read, like when he’s gearing up for a joke that he knows will have the rest of them on the floor laughing and he can’t quite keep the corner of his mouth from twitching up. Or when he’s nervous and Yechan can tell just from the look in his eyes. Sangyeop has always been a bad liar. But other times he’s so good at concealing his feelings that Yechan won’t know that he’s been worried about something until he talks about it openly, broaching the subject while they’re taking Shin Seol for a walk or when they’re the last ones in the car after a late night schedule, the city a quiet blur on the other side of the windows.
Usually if Yechan doesn’t know how Sangyeop feels about something, he’ll just ask and Sangyeop will tell him. But this isn’t exactly something he can easily ask about. Yechan isn’t sure his heart could take it if the answer was no.
Sangyeop is usually an open book though. If he felt something beyond friendship for Yechan, he probably would’ve said something already.
Wonsang squeezes Yechan’s hand for a moment and then inhales sharply, wringing his hands in front of his chest. “But hyung! I’ve said things I shouldn’t have because I thought you were together!”
Yechan thinks back to multiple instances of Wonsang commenting that they’re like a couple or saying they look good together. The kind of jokes that are common enough that Yechan hadn’t really questioned it, or thought that maybe Wonsang had noticed his feelings and was gently ribbing him.
“I thought you were just teasing me.”
Wonsang pouts, looking remorseful. “I’m sorry!!”
“It’s fine!”
“I’ll stop,” Wonsang says. “I wouldn’t have said those things if I’d known!”
“It’s really fine, Sang-ie,” Yechan says gently.
“It’s not though,” Wonsang frowns. “I’d be sad if someone was teasing me like that about Gwangil right now.”
If he’s being completely honest, it kind of has been making Yechan a little sad, even if he’s been trying his best to ignore it. But Yechan has already had the good fortune of meeting Sangyeop and getting to be so close like this. He’s found that rare kind of special friend that he can spend hours talking with about everything and nothing, who he can goof off and laugh at the simplest things with, someone who he wants beside him for the rest of his life. It’s not Wonsang’s fault that Yechan wants more than he can possibly have.
“Okay,” he replies.
⊹
Yechan doesn’t know it yet, but he’s going to regret this moment later a lot more than the ill-advised late-night coffee. Wonsang, while sweet and well-intentioned, is absolutely terrible at lying. Every single one of his feelings shows on his face which, while incredibly endearing, means he’s terrible at hiding things and keeping secrets. There’s a reason that Sangyeop once said Wonsang is like a pocket with a hole in it; even if he doesn’t mean to, things slip out anyway.
To be fair, it’s not like Yechan is good at hiding his feelings either. Though Yechan is better at keeping a secret, he’s never been great at concealing his feelings. Whenever they used to do “try not to laugh” challenges, he would always be one of the first ones to crack, unable to stop his laughter from spilling out of him. Yechan is like that with other things too. His eyes, so honest, always give him away.
Sometimes, when Yechan watches Sangyeop sing on stage, it feels like the world narrows to just him until he has to lift his bow to play again. As Yechan stares, his eyes awed and adoring, he can’t help but think it’s a wonder that Sangyeop, every audience they’ve ever played for, the entire world doesn’t know that Yechan is in love with him.
⊹
They’re backstage in one of the green rooms getting ready for a performance later. Yechan and Gwangil were first up for hair and makeup so they’re relaxing while they can, scrolling through their phones. Sangyeop is sitting patiently as one of the makeup artists starts working on his lips. The tint they’ve chosen for him today has a bit of shine that makes his lips look soft and glossy under the bright lights. Yechan makes himself look back at his phone.
The door creaks open when Wonsang enters in his stage outfit.
“How do I look?” He asks, throwing his arms into the air and lifting one of his legs as he poses. He’s wearing a pair of slacks that make his legs look even longer than usual, which is saying something, and a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Even while striking one of his silly poses, it’s undeniable that he looks good.
The question is for the room at large but Wonsang can’t keep himself from darting his eyes in Gwangil’s direction hopefully.
Gwangil looks Wonsang up and down before he says, blandly, “Looking good, hyung.” Then he turns away and goes back to staring at his phone. Wonsang pouts at the lackluster reaction, his body wilting like a drooping flower. From where Yechan is sitting, he can see that, although Gwangil’s face is carefully blank, his ears are steadily turning redder.
Yechan makes eye contact with Sangyeop across the room. Sangyeop can’t say anything with the makeup artist touching up his lip tint but his eyes are twinkling with mirth and he’s giving him a look as if to say Aish, these two. Yechan feels the corner of his mouth twitch up in response, trying to keep from full-on grinning.
Just as Yechan opens his mouth to tell Wonsang how great he looks, Wonsang turns to him and murmurs, “I bet you would’ve complimented Sangyeop hyung. You always tell him how good he looks and take a million photos whenever he asks you.”
He says it quietly, but it’s just loud enough that the others could probably hear it too, if they were paying enough attention.
What Wonsang said though… it’s true, embarrassingly enough. Not even a month ago, Sangyeop had asked him if one of the accessories he’d picked out went well with his outfit and Yechan had reassured him over and over again that it did because Sangyeop had looked a tiny bit sad when he initially said he wasn’t sure. And Yechan is always taking pictures of Sangyeop’s work fits for his bubble, because Sangyeop’s phone camera quality is truly terrible and even after all these years he’s still hopeless at taking selfies.
Yechan feels his cheeks grow a little warm in response, which is normal. It’s fine, his makeup is probably thick enough that it covers it anyway.
What isn’t normal is the way Wonsang’s eyes get big as he realizes what he just said and he gasps, covering his mouth dramatically with both hands. Wonsang makes eye contact with Yechan, looking guilty. They stare at each other for a moment, eyes comically wide, as Yechan feels himself start to panic. He turns to look at Sangyeop, who looks confused and a little bewildered. His brow furrows when he meets Yechan’s gaze. Sangyeop looks between the two of them, clearly trying to assess the situation. Even Gwangil has looked up from his phone, sensing that something is wrong. Although the conversation is normal enough, Wonsang’s reaction is so out of the ordinary that everyone must know there’s something behind it.
Sangyeop looks at Yechan again, his gaze searching. Yechan isn’t sure exactly what he finds but whatever it is, it’s enough that he decides to take pity on them.
“That’s because I’m always handsome,” Sangyeop says loftily. “It’s not my fault that I was born to make every outfit look good.”
Wonsang sighs in obvious relief and plays along, saying, “That’s true, hyung.”
Yechan lets out a slow breath he didn’t even realize he was holding as the tension finally breaks and the moment passes. He laughs, and it’s only a little bit stiff when he agrees, “Our Sangyeop-ie is so handsome.”
One of their staff members comes in and announces that it’s almost time for them to head to the stage. As they bustle around the room grabbing their things, Yechan feels Sangyeop watching him quietly, considering.
⊹
A week later, they’re piled around a table with their staff members getting barbecue after a successful performance. It’s the kind of place that’s good but isn’t fancy, where you have to shout a little to be heard over the music and buzz of conversation, especially now that most of them are a couple of drinks in. The four of them have changed back into casual clothes but haven’t washed off their makeup yet. The corner of Sangyeop’s eye makeup is a little smudged but somehow it only makes him look more handsome.
Yechan is starting to get full, so he transfers some of the meat he had piled on his plate onto Sangyeop’s, who’s sitting next to him. Sangyeop, ever the human vacuum, bumps his leg in thanks and wordlessly refills the cup of makgeolli Yechan had just drained.
It’s something that’s happened a million times before. They’ve shared countless meals together over the years, so it’s second nature at this point for Sangyeop to move the seafood to the other side of the table, away from Yechan, or for him to take a bite of something and then say Yechan-ie hyung, try this one! I think you’ll like it. Just like it’s natural for Yechan to pick up an iced chamomile tea at the cafe when he’s grabbing his daily latte. One time when he was really tired, he’d ordered both drinks and almost burst out laughing in the middle of the coffee shop when he realized that he wasn’t even going to see Sangyeop that day.
Wonsang has been more careful with his words since the Green Room Incident. But he’s loose-limbed now, halfway through a rare beer that Yechan convinced him to have to celebrate. So Yechan should really be expecting it when Wonsang says, “Wow, our fans are right. The two of you really are like a married couple sometimes.”
He chuckles for a moment. A staff member nearby overhears and laughs in agreement. Then his words seem to register and Wonsang instantly closes his mouth, pressing his lips together tightly. He hits his mouth a few times with his hand in light scolding, looking at Yechan apologetically.
Wonsang’s eyes are even wider than usual, his expressions exaggerated from the alcohol. It would be ridiculously cute if his overreaction wasn’t giving Yechan a mild heart attack.
Yechan takes one small moment to inwardly freak out before he tries to play it off.
“That’s because we fight like an old married couple,” Yechan says, elbowing Sangyeop at this side. “Right, Sangyeop-ah?”
When he says it though, he feels like it lands wrong. He tries to laugh it off but it’s awkward, a little too loud. He winces. This is one of those times where Yechan really wishes he had Sangyeop’s ability to respond quickly and gracefully, no matter how flustered he is inside. Sangyeop has always been good at taking whatever’s given to him and rolling with it well, along with being able to talk himself out of pretty much any situation. It’s why Yechan instinctively looks to him for help whenever things start to go sideways.
Sangyeop looks at Wonsang, who’s still looking as sorry as a puppy who’s been scolded. Then he turns back to Yechan and says, “Really? I didn’t think we fought that much,” before sticking a wrap in his mouth.
Although Sangyeop is hiding it well, Yechan knows him well enough that he can tell that he’s frowning a little. It makes Yechan feel unsettled.
He thinks for a moment, unsure how to make it better.
Before he can do anything else, Gwangil nudges Sangyeop from his other side, asking if he can pass one of the side dishes to him, and the moment is lost. Sangyeop stands up a little to pass it over. When he sits back down again, their thighs are no longer touching.
Yechan tries to shake it off, throwing himself back into the conversation. As long as he pretends everything is fine, it will be, right?
⊹
Except the thing is, it keeps happening and Sangyeop looks so confused every time. Separately they’re isolated incidents but together they’re becoming a pattern. Sangyeop is so smart, surely he’s starting to put the pieces together by now.
So Yechan subtly tries to put some distance between them when they’re all together, lest Sangyeop catch on to the real reason Wonsang keeps doing this. It’s probably not the best move, but Yechan doesn’t have a better strategy.
He’s sure Sangyeop notices. He even tries to talk with Yechan about it once or twice but Yechan brushes him off, feigning innocence. Sangyeop’s mouth had twisted like he could tell there was something Yechan wasn't telling him, but he had taken the hint and let it go. It’s fine, though. The distance he’s putting between them is only temporary. Once Wonsang fully adjusts and it stops being such a Thing every time, Yechan figures they’ll go back to normal again.
It’s harder than he thought it would be, though. One time when they were getting lunch together, Gwangil told a joke and Yechan had laughed so hard he almost fell over. Right when the chair began to tip, he felt the warm weight of Sangyeop’s arm on his back, steadying him. After he was settled again, Yechan thought about how they must look and what Wonsang might say, so he moved away instead of resting his head down on his shoulder like he normally would. Sangyeop’s brow had crinkled, his mouth tilting in a little frown. Yechan had ached to smooth it away, to reach for his hand to squeeze it in reassurance.
He hadn’t realized just how much he touched Sangyeop until he started intentionally trying not to. Reaching out for him is apparently another thing that has become as natural as breathing over the years.
The second thing Yechan is going to regret when all of this is over is not addressing everything sooner. Maybe if he hadn’t been so scared of Sangyeop seeing his true feelings and rejecting him, he would’ve seen how Sangyeop might misunderstand the whole situation.
⊹
Wonsang and Yechan are sitting in the practice room together a few weeks later. They’re sipping on some drinks and chatting while they wait for the others to arrive, the door cracked open behind where Wonsang is sitting. Sangyeop and Gwangil are coming from a schedule together and Sangyeop had sent them a message earlier saying they were caught in traffic, so they have some time to kill before they need to get ready for practice.
Yechan is just about to start the next level of Cookie Run when Wonsang shoves his phone in his direction.
“Look,” Wonsang says. “Isn’t this cute?”
Yechan watches as the video loops and it shows a cozy but stylishly decorated cafe. They have a wide assortment of treats, including a cinnamon roll decorated with icing in the shape of a dog that reminds him of Holly. Yechan has to admit that it does look adorable.
“Oh, it is cute!”
“If I ever get together with Gwangil, we should go there on a double date. I bet we’d have so much fun and we can take such good pictures!” Wonsang says, smiling a bit dreamily like he can already imagine it. Though Wonsang hasn’t made any more progress with Gwangil recently, he hasn’t stopped trying.
Yechan opens his mouth to reply when he looks up and sees Sangyeop and Gwangil standing in the doorway, stock-still.
They’re here earlier than expected. The door hadn’t even squeaked when they came in, probably because it had already been propped open. By the look on their faces, they definitely heard what Wonsang just said.
Yechan stares back with his mouth still hanging open, equally frozen. He feels like he’s in a freeze frame, like he can practically hear the sound of a record screeching to a halt. If this were a drama, he can imagine how it would be edited. In slow-motion, with dramatic inserts of each of their shocked faces. Wonsang smiling, blissfully unaware of what will happen when time starts again.
“Eng?” Gwangil says, breaking the silence.
Finally, Wonsang turns, his hand going to his chest. His mouth drops into a perfect little O of surprise when he sees them.
“Wonsang hyung, w-what do you mean? You want to date, you want to date me?” Gwangil trips over his words a little, the way he often does when he’s feeling flustered and overwhelmed. It makes Yechan’s heart melt a little bit every time.
He watches as Wonsang collects himself, can see the moment when he decides to throw caution to the wind and says, bravely, “Yes! Of course I want to date you, haven’t I told you how much I like you hundreds of times now?” Wonsang’s hands are clenched by his sides, betraying his nerves, the veins in his forearms tensing.
Gwangil’s whole face turns red this time, spreading from his cheeks to the tips of his ears.
“I thought you were just teasing me! Or that you were just saying that because I’m the youngest!”
“No, I’ve been trying to ask you out for weeks! But every time I try to make a move, it feels like you’re ignoring me. And it’s too embarrassing to say it outright…” Wonsang trails off, looking down dejectedly.
Gwangil takes a step toward him. “Wonsang hyung, I…”
Yechan definitely feels like he’s intruding at this point. He makes eye contact with Sangyeop and can tell he feels the same way. Sangyeop backs away slowly and Yechan quietly follows. He turns around to shut the door and give them some privacy, just in time to see Gwangil moving to the chair Yechan was just sitting in.
Without speaking they make their way to Sangyeop’s studio, closing the door behind them. Yechan has always liked it here. He used to borrow it a lot for doing lives, because it’s a lot more comfortable than his own studio.
Sangyeop takes the desk chair while Yechan settles onto the small sofa across from him. They sit for a moment in silence, processing.
Eventually, Yechan clears his throat and says, “I hope Wonsang-ie and Gwangil-ie figure everything out, they’ve been dancing around each other for so long now.”
“Tell me about it, I’ve been watching Gwangil slowly lose his mind for weeks,” Sangyeop chuckles. “Last time Wonsang called him cute he came into my studio, laid face down on the couch without saying anything, and made this high pitched whine for like two minutes straight. It was actually kind of impressive. Maybe we’ve been underutilizing his vocal skills this whole time?”
Yechan giggles, falling over sideways on the couch.
“Wonsang hasn’t been much better,” he admits. “He’s been asking me for advice about how to get Gwangil to notice his feelings. I don’t think I’ve been that helpful though, I’m not usually very good at those kinds of things.”
Sangyeop pauses for a moment. He looks like he wants to say something but isn’t sure if he should. It’s unlike him.
“Hyung, about that… is everything alright between us?”
Yechan sits up straight again and frowns. “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?”
“I don’t know, it seems like things have been off between us lately.” Sangyeop starts, slowly. “Or… Yechan hyung, is there someone you want to date?”
His heart feels like it stops for a moment. When it starts again, it beats double time, rabbiting away in his chest.
“W-what? Why would you ask that?”
“I’ve seen the way you and Wonsang keep freaking out whenever he makes a comment about how close the two of us are,” Sangyeop says. “You’ve been putting more distance between us lately too. And now Wonsang is saying he wants to go on a double date with you. I’m not dumb, hyung. I can tell something’s going on.”
Sangyeop lays the facts out calmly, logically. Yechan is sure that he’s figured it out. He curls into himself a little bit, bracing for the let down. Sangyeop will be kind about it, he knows this for sure. Sangyeop is always kind. Even when he makes jokes that cut, he always turns to laugh with you to let you know that you’re in on the joke, never the butt of it. But no amount of kindness will make a broken heart hurt less.
Sangyeop takes a breath. “If you’re seeing someone it’s fine, you can tell me. Don’t worry about my feelings for you.”
Yechan’s brain crashes to a halt.
“Your… your feelings? For me? Your feelings for me?” He stumbles out.
“Yeah. It might take me some time to get over them, but it’ll be fine. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide anything because of me. I really want you to be happy.”
“Sangyeop…”
“It’s fine, hyung,” Sangyeop says. “Really.”
He smiles at him warmly but his eyes are so sad that it cleaves Yechan clean apart. Then he turns in the chair until his back is toward Yechan, fiddling around with something on the computer.
Yechan takes a moment to process these new facts, feels the way the world seems to tip on its axis with this revelation. Sangyeop is sad. Sangyeop has feelings for him. Sangyeop thinks he wants to date someone else. That’s what makes his brain come back online, finally.
“Wait,” Yechan cries, spinning the chair back around. Sangyeop’s eyes are wide with surprise. When the chair stops moving, he sniffs quietly and Yechan sees that his eyes are a bit glassy. Oh, Yechan thinks. He’s really made a mess of things here. “Sangyeop-ah, you… you really have feelings for me? You like me?”
“Hyung, I’m in love with you. Didn’t you know?”
It hits Yechan square in the chest. Oof.
“You’re in love with me?” Yechan’s voice sounds funny in his ears, like he’s underwater.
“Yeah, I… wow,” Sangyeop says, disbelieving. “I really thought you knew.”
“I did not,” Yechan says, dumbly.
“I see that now.”
Sangyeop’s voice sounds clipped. Yechan feels like he’s going about this all wrong, so he tries again.
“I’m not seeing anyone right now,” Yechan says. “You’re right though, there is someone I want to date.”
Sangyeop’s brow furrows, confused by the turn the conversation has taken. “Okay?”
Yechan’s voice is only a little bit wobbly when he says, “It’s you, Sangyeop. I’m in love with you too. I can’t believe you didn’t already know but… It’s always been you.” Yechan’s voice breaks a little when he says it. He takes a quick breath to collect himself. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything about it earlier, but I’m telling you now.”
“You really like me that way?” The face Sangyeop makes is surprisingly blank. It’s one of those rare times when Yechan can’t read him at all.
“Yeah, Sangyeop-ah. You really couldn’t tell?”
“I…” Sangyeop starts. “I thought you might and I was trying to work up the courage to tell you my feelings, but then you and Wonsang were being so weird. And then you started pulling away and wouldn’t talk to me about it, so I thought I was wrong. Plus… everyone loves you. And you love everyone in your life so well. How was I supposed to know if what you felt for me was different?”
Yechan thinks back to what he said to Wonsang all those weeks ago in the studio, when he told him that Gwangil might not know that Wonsang’s expressions of affection were special. It’s funny that he gave Wonsang that advice when apparently it’s something that he should’ve been thinking about all along.
“That seems to be a theme lately…” Yechan mumbles.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Yechan says, louder this time. “This is special though. What we have is so special. I didn’t know if you felt the same so I didn’t say anything but Choi Sangyeop, I want to date you so badly. I’m sorry I was too scared to say it earlier and that I let you get the wrong idea. People keep saying we’re like a couple, so let’s do it for real.”
He takes both of Sangyeop’s hands in each of his own and gives them a little shake, looking up at him hopefully. “Date me?”
Sangyeop finally smiles and it’s like the slow rise of the sun at dawn, his eyes shining happily in that way Yechan loves so much. “Okay, Yechan-ie hyung, let’s do it.”
“Even though your brain is so smooth that you couldn’t even tell that I liked you,” Sangyeop teases, squeezing his hands back.
Yechan laughs indignantly, loud and joyful.
“Yah, you’re really good at hiding your feelings sometimes! It’s not like you told me you liked me either!”
“You know all you had to do was ask. But that’s true,” Sangyeop concedes. “It might not have seemed like it, but I was scared too. Let’s both tell each other how we feel and what we want from now on, even if it’s scary. Promise?”
“Promise,” Yechan says, letting go of one of Sangyeop’s hands to reach out his pinky.
Sangyeop links his pinky with Yechan’s own so they can stamp it. His thumb is warm and slightly calloused where it rests on top of Yechan’s.
“If we’re saying what we want,” Sangyeop says, using their clasped hands to pull himself closer. “Can I kiss you?”
Yechan feels his cheeks go warm and rosy. “Yes.”
Sangyeop puts a hand on the nape of Yechan’s neck and leans in. Right before he closes the distance between them, he whispers, “I’ve wanted to do this for a really long time.”
If Yechan was standing, his knees would’ve gone weak. Instead, he makes a small wounded noise that gets swallowed by Sangyeop’s mouth. He reaches a hand up to Sangyeop’s face, his fingers landing on the soft hair at the back of Sangyeop’s neck. He cut it recently so it’s all short. It tickles. The touch feels both electric and reassuring, like it does when they’re playing on stage and they’re leaning on each other’s backs, giving everything, or when Sangyeop offers his knee for Yechan to take. Yechan tilts his head, deepening the kiss, feeling Sangyeop move with him. He wants to be as close to Sangyeop as possible. It’s all he can do to stop himself from trying to climb into his lap while their lips are still connected.
When they finally remember to breathe and separate for air, they rest their foreheads together as one. Both of them are breathing hard. Yechan feels dizzy, like he’s just gotten off a rollercoaster and his body is still trying to remember how to be still again. The moment feels precious and cotton candy sweet.
“Can I ask you something?” Sangyeop says softly.
“Yeah?” Yechan says, dazed.
“Why were you and Wonsang being so weird?” Sangyeop asks, ruining the moment.
It takes a second for Sangyeop’s question to register but when it finally does Yechan groans. He hides his face in his hands and falls onto his side, embarrassed, Sangyeop’s amused laughter ringing in his ears.
⊹
Eventually they make their way back to the practice room, where they find Wonsang and Gwangil sitting next to each other. Both of their faces are red and they look bashful but happy. When Wonsang sees them, he seems to immediately clock that something has happened between Yechan and Sangyeop too. He looks between the two of them then clasps his hands together, delighted.
“Oh hyung, I’m so happy for you! Does this mean you’re finally together for real?”
Yechan laughs and pulls up a chair next to them. “Yes, but no thanks to you! Did you have to be so obvious about it every time? You almost gave me a heart attack, I swear.”
Wonsang pouts, pulling out the puppy dog eyes. Yechan isn’t actually mad at him, but if he were, he’d probably forgive him in an instant.
“But hyung,” Wonsang whines. “I really felt so bad every time! I didn’t mean to!”
They keep bickering back and forth, their arguments and excuses getting louder and more absurd with each turn. Gwangil is dying with laughter in the background, almost falling out of his chair. He’s holding onto one of Wonsang’s hands and he looks pretty happy about it.
Sangyeop is watching the scene in front of him like he can’t quite believe what’s happening. His eyes are fond when he looks at them though.
“Well,” Sangyeop says, cutting off their bantering. “Both of you are ridiculous, but somehow it all worked out anyway.”
Yechan glances at Wonsang and Gwangil, taking in their shy smiles and clasped hands. Then he turns to look at Sangyeop and he can’t help the grin that breaks across his face, his eyes scrunching happily. He nudges Sangyeop with his foot under the table and Sangyeop hooks their feet together, keeping him close. His heart goes soft and mushy.
Yeah, he thinks. It really did.
