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Today was terrible for almost everyone in camp including you. Robbing plans went wrong, there was a run-in with O’driscolls and Pinkertons. Everything that could go wrong went wrong today. And the cherry on top of the fucked up ice cream was an unexpected but heavy storm. What was supposed to be a small gang party was soon changed to everyone running into their tents for the night. You were one of the folks who had the common sense to get in sooner than later. You were sitting in your cot, lightly leaning against the tent wall as you decided to journal. A habit you picked up from Arthur to help pass the time and keep track of important memories. You weren’t much of an artist but you would occasionally attempt to draw a scenery or two, it was far easier than drawing people. For a while that's what you were doing as the storm raged on, thunder shaking the earth beneath you from time to time. You knew you’d be up for a while longer from how bad it was getting but at that moment you had a realization. Kieran was still outside.
You and him were pretty close, it was unexpected but now you consider him a good friend. He was always kind to you and you to him. You’d talk to him every morning and night, and though it wasn’t a big deal to you, it meant the world to him. For him, It was nice to have another person not treat him like crap because of his previous affiliations with the O’Driscolls. He looked forward to seeing you every morning, it was the second best part of his day, the first being pampering the horses. That night you did tell him goodnight but you grew so lost in your writing you forgot he was out in the rain still. You quickly tossed your journal to the side and got up. You were dressed in your night clothes but threw on one of your coats and boots then grabbed another coat for him.
“shit shit shit!”
You grumbled to yourself as you quickly exited your tent. Your hair instantly gets soaked once you step outside. You stood there for a moment, quickly scanning your surroundings for him. But soon you found him. Curled up underneath a tree against Branwen. His hair and clothes were soaked, and his body shook from the cool air hitting his already wet and cool skin. He looked like he was asleep or at least trying to but with each thunder strike, he jumped. Guilt swirled in your stomach like Pearson’s stew after a day where rations were short. With a saddened sigh, you quickly ran towards him. The sounds of your boots splashing in large puddles on the ground alerted him. He jolted upright and looked in your direction, a weary expression that soon softened when he realized it was only you. His lips curled into a small smile as he watched you approach him. Though he was happy to see you, the site of him made you frown. You felt terrible for forgetting about him.
“Shit….c’mon Kieran.”
He looked up at you confused, wondering what you wanted with him. You quickly kneeled before him and draped the extra coat over his damp shoulders.
“Watcha doing?-”
“Getting you the hell outta this rain. C’mon.”
You said as you wrapped an arm around his side and pulled him up. He wasn’t as heavy as you expected so you lifted him with ease. He didn’t bother protesting, the look on your face made it clear you were determined to get him out of this weather. He quietly watched you as you both quickly ran in heavy rain and into your tent. Once inside you closed the tent behind you, leaving Kieran to stand in the middle of your tent. Water trickled down his body and onto the small carpet beneath his feet as he stood in place, not wanting to get your things wet but admiring your assortment of trinkets. He’d never been inside your tent, only ever catching glimpses of it when you’d wake up or go to bed. He felt like he was intruding even if you were the one who brought him in. Though you both were close he never understood why you were so kind to him, he deeply enjoyed your kindness but felt undeserving of it or that it wouldn’t last long. While he quietly let his eyes dance around your place you took off your coat and boots. Need to dry us off quickly or we’ll catch a cold. You thought to yourself while you finished putting your things away. You shuffled around him and went to a large chest at the foot of your cot and began to look for something. The sounds of your rummaging made his gaze fall on you. He curiously watched as you looked around your chest, wondering what you were looking for. His body trembled as the cool breeze brushed his skin again. The cool breeze made his breath shudder and his hands rubbed his shoulders, trying to bring some of his warmth back. Phomp!
“Huh?-”
Kieran mumbled as suddenly a towel hit him square in the face, causing the coat to fall off his shoulders and onto the ground. You quietly laugh as you stand up and walk towards him. Not intending to hit him in the face.
“Sorry bout that- Here, dry yourself off.”
You said to him, trying your best to hide amusement. You pulled the towel from his face and then properly placed it in his hands. He stared at you blankly before taking the towel. A little startled by what happened but grateful for your help. He brought the towel up to his face but stopped, noticing how soaked your hair and face were from the rain. A slight frown crossed his lips the longer he stared at you.
“You uh..sure you don’t need this? You should dry off first..”
“You shivering Kieran, if ya don’t dry off soon you’ll get sick. Plus I got another.”
“Ah..uhm..Thank you.”
He mumbled as he slowly began to dry his face, his cheeks growing red from embarrassment. Yes, he was soaked from head to toe but he didn’t feel right using your things. But seeing that it didn’t bother you made him feel less nervous. You gave him a small smile and returned to looking for another towel and something else. He remained standing, still not wanting to get your things wet. After a minute or so you pulled out an extra towel, threw it on top of your head, and grabbed something else. You closed the chest and walked in front of him. His eyes shot a glance to what was in your hands and by the looks of it, it was some clothes.
“Take your clothes off.”
His eyes shot up to your face, eyes widened with shock, and his face grew two shades darker. His free hand went up to the damp collar of his shirt and played with it. He looked at you in utter disbelief at your sudden statement.
“E-excuse me..?-”
He asked, his voice shaky with surprise. His eyes never left your face as he waited for some clarity.
“Take your clothes off and change into these. I was fixing up Arthur’s old clothes but you can use ‘em for tonight.”
His face somehow got darker when you explained yourslef. If he had his hat on he’d be using that to cover his face but he didn’t so instead he looked away from you. He didn’t say anything else, just nodding and taking the clothes you offered him. Another chuckle came from you as you turned your back on him, giving him some privacy as he took care of himself. While he did that you took this time to properly dry your hair. You may have had your back turned to him but he was extremely self-conscious about his appearance. He knew wasn’t the most attractive man compared to the others in camp but being in this situation made him more self-conscious. You could see his figure underneath his wet clothes but you didn’t let your eyes linger. He was fairly skinny, his ribs could be seen if you ever saw him topless, which in your case was never. His skin was paler than most which he hated. He had acne scars all over due to him constantly picking his sin, another thing he hated about his appearance. He quickly finished drying himself off and took off his clothes. He kept glancing toward you, making sure you weren’t looking at his exposed boy. He got dressed surprisingly quickly but there was one downside to the clothes you gave him. They were a size or 2 bigger than him. But it did feel good to be dry and in new clothes.
“I-I’m done now…bit bigger than I thought..”
Once he finished speaking you turned around and tossed your towel onto your bed before you looked at him. Your eyes widened as you took in his new appearance. He wore a long-sleeved button-up that hung off one of his shoulders paired with some loose shorts he wore underneath his other clothes. Hair lightly covered his chest, arms, and legs. His collarbone was exposed and they were quite prominent. Not only that but the longer you looked at him the more you started to notice things about him you didn’t at first. Though his skin was pale he was covered in light freckles. They were most noticeable on his face but they were all over his body, especially on his shoulders. Your eyes trailed down his body to his legs. They had a few scars on them, most likely cuts and old bruises or burns. You were so lost in thought you hadn’t noticed you were staring. He did though. He was worried you found his appearance off-putting so he didn’t say anything, just watched you look at him a few seconds longer. When you caught yourself staring you shook your head and looked up at him. Clearing your throat as if that would make him forget that you were watching him with such a curious gaze.
“Erm..lemme get those clothes from ya. I’ll let them air dry till morning.”
He nodded and handed you his clothes, quickly looking away once you took them. He wanted to ask why you were staring at him like that but his words got caught in his throat. So he decided not to and remained standing. You stepped towards the entrance of your tent and began to ring out as much water out of his clothes as you could, letting the water trickle down on the grassy earth beneath you. After that, you laid his clothes out on top of the chest to air dry throughout the night. He watched you like a curious cat the entire time but every time you looked at him he looked away.
“You can sit down you know?- I don’t mind.”
“I uh..didn’t want to overstep a-any boundaries..thanks..”
He quietly thanked you and then sat on the edge of your cot. Still being mindful of your space but glad to finally sit. He doesn’t remember the last time he sat on a bed, being with the gang for all this time he never had the luxury of owning or even borrowing a bed or mat to lay on. It was nice to sit on something other than the ground or logs. Now that you were done setting up his clothes to dry you joined him on the cot, crawling behind him and stretching your legs out. You let out a small yawn and leaned back against your hands, glancing at the exposed skin of his shoulder again.
“Never knew you had freckles…They’re real pretty..”
He already felt like his heart was about to explode from all the kindness from you and the proximity but now this? His heart was thumping so loud he was afraid you’d hear it. He looked down at his hands and began to play with his sleeves. His face remained the same bright red shade from your compliment. Though he appreciated how nice you were being to him he couldn’t help but feel a little anxious. He wasn’t used to this kindness or compliments, just hearing how genuine you sounded made his head spin. He let your compliment play on a loop in his head a few more times before mustering the courage to say something.
“T-thank ya…’s real kind of you..”
“No problem...You should get some sleep, gonna be a long night.”
You said with a yawn following after as you laid down fully, your back facing him as you curled up in bed. You lay there for a moment with your eyes closed, trying to sleep but you noticed that he didn’t move. You reopened your eyes and looked in his direction, he was still looking at you with a blank and slightly curious expression. As if he was waiting for you to say something.
“Aren’t you gonna lay down?”
“OH- Didn’t think you’d want me to…uh stay here..”
“I ain’t finna let ya sleep outside, As long as you ain’t a blanket hog I don’t mind....”
You said with a light chuckle as you turned back over in the cot, making more room for him. Hesitantly he crept his way down onto the bedding and lay next to you. Though the cot was relatively small he made sure not to be too close to you. He pulled a bit of cover over himself and tried to get comfortable. You begin to fall asleep, way quicker than you thought you would. you haven’t slept this close to anyone in years so it was a little strange how quickly you were falling asleep. Most people in camp didn’t and wouldn’t trust him but after knowing him for a while you knew he wouldn’t purposely make you uncomfortable so any worries you had about sleeping with him disappeared. While you were slightly curled up he was lying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling with his arms resting on his chest. Thanks to the loud and heavy rain his fast beating heart was muffled. He had many questions on his mind. Was he making you uncomfortable? Is he too close? Why were you letting him of all folk in here with you? He wanted to ask but you were already asleep when he turned his head to look at you. So he did his best to push away his thoughts and try to sleep. It took a while but eventually, he too fell asleep. His stiffened body began to relax into the semi-comfortable bedding while keeping some distance between you both.
For most of the night that is how you both remained, peacefully resting side by side. However, something caused you to wake up. The feeling of warm pressure against your back made you stir in your sleep. A small groan came from you as you realized it was Kieran. He didn’t have his arms around you but that didn’t stop him being close to you. He leaned against you, pressing his body against yours but keeping his hands off you. You could feel his soft breath tickle the back of your neck, another reason you awoken. From the way he slept it felt like he wanted to be closer to you, hold you even but he refrained from it. You lay there quietly, listening to the rain as you thought about what to do next. After some thinking you decided to cuddle him, maybe he needed to get warm or required some type of comfort, whatever the case was you didn’t mind cuddling him. So you carefully turned over and pushed yourself higher in the bed. You carefully pulled him into your chest and rested your cheek on top of his head, with your free hand you cupped the back of his neck and rubbed it gently. He woke up a little, surprised you were cuddling him but he wouldn’t dare complain. The warmth you radiated, your gentle touches, and the way you pulled him in all made him drift happily back to sleep. He buried his head into your chest, letting your heartbeat lull him back to sleep. He extended one of his hands and rested it on your side, not wanting you to move. It was a gentle hold, one you could slip out of if needed but you didn’t plan to move either.
In this gang, emotional vulnerability wasn’t as rare as it seemed but physical vulnerability was. Maybe that could explain why you both fell asleep so easily now that your bodies were tangled with one another. Neither of you has slept with anyone in years and it was apparent that you both missed it until now. The feeling of having someone to hold you and hold onto made you both feel safe and cared for. If anyone knew about this growing relationship you were having with Kieran they’d sure give you side glances or openly judge but you could care less. He was happy and you were too so their opinions were the last of your worries. Soon you were back to your sleeping state with him happily in your arms, feeling the best he’s felt in ages.
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Morning came and slowly but surely folks in the camp started to wake up, all except a few, part of those few being Kieran. He was sleeping peacefully and heavily in your cot. His body took up most of the bedding, his arms and legs stretched out comfortably as snores echoed through the empty tent. You were already up and tending to some chores to help yourself wake up. Funny enough you had to put up a small fight to escape his clutches this morning. Though he didn’t come off as strong, his grip was intense, but you managed to escape it. He remained asleep for around 2 hours after you woke up before his body started to shift in his sleep. His snores abruptly stop as his body shoots up in the bedding. He wasn’t one to sleep in but sleeping in a bed after so long made it bound to happen. He scanned the room, confused eyes wondering the area, slowly piecing together what happened last night. He dragged his forearm against his mouth, cleaning away spit that dripped down his chin while he slept. Though he slept well, better than well, he was a little confused. Where’d they go? He wondered to himself as he yawned and looked around the tent again, not realizing how late in the morning it was.
“Kirean..?”
A faint whisper pulled his drowsy gaze to the entrance of your tent. You had two cups of coffee in your hands when you stepped in, one for you and one for Kieran. As you stepped in you were met by his sleepy smile. The shirt he wore hanging off his shoulder and his hair messily covering his forehead, clearly he had just woken up. You laughed quietly as you walked in, finding his appearance amusing but glad he seemed to get some well-needed rest.
“Seems like you like my bed more than I do pfft…You alright?”
“mph…Yeah, ‘m good...I ain’t over sleep did I?”
“You did, and boy do you got some grip on ya…Damn near choked me out just to keep me in bed this morin. If you wanted to cuddle longer should’ve asked pfft-”
Your remark made him jolt up, his cheeks now dressed with a deep red from embarrassment. One for oversleeping and two for cuddling. Vague memories of last night came to him, he remembered how you held him closely to your chest and how he clung to you. His cheeks burned a deeper red as the sensations came back to him as well, god did he enjoy that far more than he thought he would. He wanted to curl up into a ball and fade away but it was too late for that. While he was having a mini panic attack you watched him quietly, holding back your giggles.
“I-I uh…I should probably leave...I should check on the horses.-”
He mumbled under his breath. His fingers picked at the skin on his hands, trying to ease his nerves. He was about to leave but you moving closer to him stopped him. You sat on the bed next to him, your knee brushing against his.
“I ain’t mind it, Kinda enjoyed it. And the horses are fine, checked on them not too long ago.”
You said with a small smile, handing him the extra cup of coffee. Hearing that you weren’t uncomfortable with cuddling him made his shoulders slump. His heart still raced but it was now from nervous excitement. It meant a lot to him that you enjoyed being so close to him. It also made him smile to hear you checked on the horses for him. Before he forgot he took the coffee from your hands and nodded in appreciation for the drink. He took a generous swig of the drink, the warm brew waking him up a little. With a satisfied sigh, he turned his attention back to you. Still quite red in the face but he didn’t notice nor care.
“..Thank you, for uh everything..I ‘pericate it...”
“No problem buddy, Just happy you’re okay. Might let you sleep here more often.”
“W-wha- Are you serious?-”
He asked in a surprised whisper, making your giggles spill out quickly after he asked. Though he was shocked, if you were being serious that would make his day. After your few seconds of giggling at his response, you gave his back a hefty pat and smiled up at him.
“We’ll see Kieran, We’ll see.”
Your answer made a cheeky grin come on his face, he wasn’t sure if you were joking or not but he secretly hoped you were serious. He did want to get up and start on his chores but your infectious laughter and presence made him stay a bit longer. You weren’t going to complain, if anything you were glad he stayed longer. You both wouldn’t openly admit it but it was clear as day that you both deeply cared and liked each other.