Work Text:
Years, Genos thought, were like containers for months. And months, they were just containers for weeks. And those weeks were containers for days, and the days for hour, and the hours for minutes and so on. Larger numbers holding smaller number and larger numbers being confined to smaller numbers.
20 words or less.
He stopped his trail of thought, for it had become somewhat of an unfortunate lesson learned that he should not, by any means, dwell on the past. Yes, years had past. No he had not found the cyborg he searched for. Yes, he felt he had become more powerful. No, he was not a reckless, hateful teenager anymore.
Yes, he felt alone.
The apartment was just as quiet as always, frustratingly so. No amount of electronics or actions could clear out the silence that hung heavy in the air of a place so condensed with memories. Sometimes he wondered why he tortured himself by staying in the old, small apartment, but he glanced at the two futons, the worn table, the rusty fridge, the walls that had been destroyed and repaired, the door he had walked through for the first time five years ago.
This was their home. It was just that it was missing the most important thing.
His phone rang, and god it sounded like hope. He didn’t let himself get excited. He wasn’t going to answer it just because of emotions.
“Hello?”
“Demon Cyborg, we are requesting immediate assistance in City J-
“Threat level?”
“Demon. There are multiple monsters with drastically different powers taking down Class A heroes and civilians.”
Demon was a middle ranking classification of danger. It was unlikely, but not out of the question. The man that should be at his side, the man that should be there to help had showed up for only 2 Demon level threats in the past 3 and a half years, and both those time Genos had been missing at least one limb. But the man had still found Genos, like he always found Genos, and they had been blessed with precious minutes to speak to each other, to hear and see each other, and for a moment, to even hold each other.
There had been no report of a God level threat in the past three years, but for almost ever Dragon level threat, he had been there. And after injured heroes had been taken to hospitals, after the chaos had dissipated and the civilians quiet and safe, there had been only Genos, and only Saitama.
“I’m on my way now.”
~
It was the type of battle that would have left Genos looking like a burnt piece of garbage in the past. The kind he would have flung himself into with full power, not waiting to assess the situation. But he had had a safety net to fall into back then, one which he had grown used to and not appreciated as much as he should have. It was a harsh realization that hit him the first time he fought without that safety net. The realization that he could not, no matter what, let his guard down ever again. There wasn’t a net below him anymore. There wasn’t that person behind him anymore.
But here he was, older, stronger by a little, maybe wiser, and all in one piece as he finished the second monster. Bang and Metal Bat seemed to be handling the third and fourth just fine, and it didn’t look like another one was popping up. He felt tired inside his very core. Even as he went to help with the last two monsters, he knew with an unforgiving certainty that he would not see Saitama today.
~
Genos read the letter once, and then burned it. So he was S Class rank 8 now. He really, really didn’t care. When he had made it to rank 10, then he had cared, but then he had had a reason to care because he had a person who cared about and for him. Rank number 1 was still empty, just as empty as it had been when he joined the association. There was no “Blast”, only the idea of the all powerful, unstoppable, perfect hero. Except that hero had existed, had sat in the position of rank 1, of the worlds greatest hero. A god had been presented to humanity, and humanity had feared his power. The chair meant for only one man in the universe now grew coated in dust and covered in webs.
Genos could not be alone again tonight. He would drive himself mad, he knew it. locking the door to the apartment and placing the keys in a compartment just for them, he walked past abandoned building and broken playgrounds until he found himself lost in the darkness of the forgotten city, wondering how many seconds he could go without thinking of the person he loved.
~
“Dragon, city C in-
He raced through the air, following the trail of destruction left by the threat. A burning building to his left exploded, and he almost wanted to admire the way the sparks flew down like bright orange raindrops. When he was hurt badly sometimes sparks flew from his body too. He wondered if his sensei had ever thought it was beautiful.
There were already S Class heroes at the scene, but for some reason they all seemed very still, and very on edge. It was with a disturbing understanding that Genos realized they were waiting for something.
“Genos! It tunnels underground and comes up randomly! Don’t let your guard down!”
He didn’t bother to thank Bang for the warning. Bang seemed to accept Genos’ cold shoulder after what happened. The older hero did feel guilt, Genos knew, but guilt did not excuse the actions Bang could have at least tried to stop.
The monster resurfaced, taking two buildings with it. Genos could not describe the thing as anything other than a giant worm. It had no eyes, but its mouth was a permanently open hole on its face, revealing rows of teeth designed for tunneling and destroying.
The sound it emitted was not expected though. It blew Genos off his feet, and he felt one of his artificial eardrums crack and break. He shut off the other for his own sake. He was tempted to close his eyes and hold his head in his hands, just waiting for it to all be over. But he was a hero. He was strong, and he had made a promise to help. He was also a grown man damnit.
He couldn’t raise his voice above the shrieking of the thing, and it didn’t seem to matter since the other heroes were unable to do much other than cover their ears. There was no way to get close to the monster right now either, since the sound waves held him at bay. He fired a few shots, only to watch them be either blown off course of just explode mid air from the force. When the sound did finally stop, it was only because the monster, at lightning speed, had dived beneath the ground again.
“Where the fuck is Tornado?!”
Metal Bat was probably screaming because he had lost most of his hearing, but it didn’t seem to matter since everyone else looked like they couldn’t even make out his words. From all sides Genos could see heroes with blood dripping from their ears, most with hands holding their heads, some on their knees. The heroes that relied on weapons were probably useless by now, and Genos could hear Atomic Samurai cursing as he kicked his shattered sword. Genos himself knew exactly where Tatsumaki was. It was the same place she had been all but forced to reside for over 2 years now. When it became clear to the association that nothing, not even Tornado could stop Saitama from escaping the confines of his so-called prison, their tactic changed. Instead of trying to keep Saitama inside, they kept everyone else out. They isolated the man, not just from his friends, not just from other heroes, but from everyone. Tornado was still rank 2, and despite every effort made, Genos could not get past her.
The annoyance Genos felt towards the woman when they first met had escalated into a solid hate. Genos despised her second to the mad cyborg. He didn’t just want to hurt her, he wanted her dead. What was almost worse than her wrath was her pity though. Every time she had crushed him, thrown him, beaten him to the point of near death, he had seen how she looked down on him. How her eyes wavered in their reasoning, how she despised being no more than a guard. She knew what she was doing was killing the cyborg, and he knew she knew, and with the kind of shame only a person forced into a corner possessed, she turned her back to Genos, and shut not only Saitama off from the world, but also herself.
Of course she wasn’t coming. She was no more free than Saitama.
It was almost silent above ground except for the few heroes screaming at one another in an attempt to speak over destroyed eardrums. Genos had no ability to see through the layers of dirt to find the monster, and his proximity warnings would only go off if it approached him at a specific point, and even then it moved too fast for that to do much good.
There was a vibration beneath his feet, and then an explosion of nearby rubble and heaps of earth, causing everyone to either go flying to land on their ass. Some still standing buildings collapsed, and Genos could only accept the fact that the dented car hurtling towards him was definitely going to catch his arm.
As expected, it hurt, but it didn’t get the whole arm. He still had a little beyond his elbow that he could flex. He sighed. He hadn’t been to the doctor in weeks for a repair, and he had felt quite proud about that.
“Sorry, that was technically my fault.”
He didn’t want to look up yet. In these rare moments when there were still clouds of dust blocking off the world, Genos liked to hear his voice first, memorize his words, imagine his features, and then look up.
Saitama showed no sign of age other than the glint in his eyes. Those eyes told stories and sung lullabies, and occasionally drove fear through hearts. Everything about him seemed sharp and soft at the same time, and it was overwhelming.
“You know, this time I didn’t really break out, since a giant worm smashed through the walls. You think it’ll still count?”
Genos dropped his head in an attempt to hide his smile. It was stupid to try, but the whole thing was stupid. The whole fucking world was stupid.
“I missed you Saitama-sensei.”
When he felt the first touch, his body moved on instinct, until the two had slid into each other’s arms seamlessly, and even then Genos still squeezed. He closed his eyes as tightly as he could and tried to push his fingers into unbreakable skin. He was in the safest place in the world, and he was home.
“I missed you too. Messing with Tornado is only fun for like, an hour.”
“Good to know I am more entertaining than the worlds most powerful piece of shit.”
“Hey, she’s not always bad. We played chess once. And she’s not so different from me really. She doesn’t want to be there, but she has to. Even pieces of shit have things to protect.”
“I don’t care. She’s the reason I can’t see you, and I want to see you every day. I want to tell you about everything and I want you to tell me about everything and I want to be able to see you.”
There’s was a small silence and Genos twisted his fingers around torn fabric, grazing the skin of Saitama’s spine. Firm hands held the smooth metal of his back, just holding, just feeling.
“Tornado said you were promoted. I’m really proud of you for that.”
Before Genos could say thank you he felt the arms around him detach. He panicked, grabbing the body against his tighter. It was too soon, it was too soon and he was scared of going back to the other world where Saitama wasn’t there to protect him and smile at him and-
“I’m not leaving yet, I just want to look at your face, relax.”
“I-sorry. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I lied anyways.”
Genos felt like he’d been slapped, but then he registered the sensation of warmth on his lips. His cheeks were being held lightly, and everything was so soft and god he loved this man. Genos let him pull away though, feeling more confident that the older man wasn’t leaving yet.
“Well I didn’t lie completely. I did want to look at you, I just, you know, also wanted to do that.”
Genos thought it was endearing how just a kiss could make the strongest man in the world so embarrassed. Especially one he initiated. Saitama blushed red from his cheeks to his ears, and his eyelashes fluttered as he moved his gaze rapidly, too flustered to land on one thing. Genos smiled easily. It was something only Saitama was allowed to see, and only Saitama could cause.
“I love you and I love it when you kiss me.”
Their first lip to lip kiss had been more passionate, more hurried. It had left Genos unbalanced and overly emotional when they separated. Looking back, it seemed obvious it would happen after their first separation. They were unsure and desperate, and being alone with nothing but the words I love you playing in their heads, the two had rushed to each other with all the emotions that followed those words.
“Genos, you’re killing me. You can’t just say that stuff with that look.”
“What look, sensei?”
“You and your freaking ‘sensei’ use. And your damn smile when you say you love me, and the eyes-no stop you’re doing it right now.”
“I do not understand what you mean.”
“Yes you do you’re smiling like that one time you successfully tripped Sonic.”
Genos considered that to be one of his top 10 favorite memories.
“Whatever you are referring to, I can only assume it is related to how much I love you and how deeply I care about you.”
Saitama grumbled and turned a new shade of pink before leaning in to kiss Genos once more. They kissed longer, but gently, with Saitama breaking the kiss every other second to whisper I love you into artificial skin.
“What do I have to do to make you stay?”
“Genos-
“I can be better, I’ve grown as a person but I had to do it alone-
“I know and-
“I feel like I’m loosing everything inside me and everything you gave me is just, leaving, and I’m so angry all the time again. Sometimes I think I’m broken but I’m not and sometimes I want to be broken just so something can be fixed.”
Saitama waited patiently to make sure he was done, and Genos was overly aware he had gone over 20 words.
“I’m sorry, sensei. That statement served no purpose and made no sense.”
“Hey, don’t be stupid. It’s ok to get emotional. It’s human.”
Genos didn’t feel human. Or maybe he felt too human. He didn’t know, and before Saitama entered his world, he had always known. There had been black and white, one single goal, no one else but the doctor. Saitama didn’t just add tones of gray to Genos’ life, he splatter painted it with neon colors and added strokes of pastels. Maybe that was why it was so easy to fall in love with him. He had been the first thing Genos considered beautiful since his tragedy.
“Saitama-san, it was good of you to help us in our time of need.”
Genos tore himself from Saitama, blasters raised. He didn’t care who it was, he didn’t give a single shit because whoever they were they were ending Saitama’s time of rare freedom.
“Genos! Genos its Bang! Come on, you wouldn’t hurt Bang!”
“Watch me.”
“Hey! Genos knock it off, that’s not ok.”
Genos was becoming aware of the people around them now. The heroes drawn to the noise, the raised weapons, the worried faces. They could see Saitama. They knew who he was, because everyone knew who he was.
Their fear was such that it could have been physical.
“Saitama-sensei, lets go somewhere else. Just for a moment, lets leave.”
Genos whispered it so the others wouldn’t panic, but it felt like his words were hitting a wall. Like they weren’t being heard. When he looked Saitama in the eyes he knew what was coming.
“Genos-
“Don’t say it.”
“Then tell me what to say, you know I suck with words.”
“Say you’ll stay.”
“Damnit Genos-
“Saitama-san, before you go may I have a moment?”
The two younger men were surprised by Bang’s intrusion. Genos turned that surprise into rage.
“You-
“Genos stop. Bang, I don’t have a lot of time left.”
“I understand Saitama-san, but not even I can get past Tornado, and I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to speak to you next.”
“…Ok. But when she comes you have to tell her you wanted to talk. I don’t want her throwing Genos around just because she’s pissed.”
“I will handle her. Now, if you will?”
The two men jumped easily to a further distance, leaving Genos alone, angry, hurt, and jealous. They spoke out of range, with all eyes on them besides a few on Genos, and Genos saw them both glance at Genos a few times. Paranoia crept under his core, and he forced it down. It had been a full three minutes before they finally returned, neither one giving any hint of what the conversation was about.
“Thank you, Saitama-san.”
“Yeah, thanks old man. I’ll be counting on you.”
Without a word Bang was gone, suddenly at the side of another hero further away. Genos looked at Saitama.
“What did he want to speak to you about?”
Saitama gave him a small smile, one that was sad, and only sadder because Genos knew Saitama thought he could pass it off as cheerful.
“I’m not the only one that worries about you.”
A hand on his cheek stopped him from arguing, the pads of fingers brushing away the feelings. Stealing himself, Genos closed his eyes. In a world that was very far away, they were at home in their tiny apartment. They had eaten dinner together and changed out of dirtied clothes, and the television hummed in the background, casting a blue light on everything. The hand that stroked his cheek didn’t pull away, and the two slept side by side, unafraid of separation.
But the real world loved tragedies and broken hearts, and in the real world the hand pulled away.
“This isn’t goodbye. I love you, Genos.”
He was gone before Genos could even inhale to speak, and as he looked at the ground where Saitama had stood, he was very painfully reminded that nothing good in his life had ever lasted.
~
The meeting covered the attack, thanked the heroes who were there, and mentioned Saitama. Tornado wasn’t present. She wasn’t really anywhere anymore other than by Saitama. Every time Genos looked at her empty chair, the one next to where Saitama was supposed to be sitting, he was reminded that she was right where Genos wanted to be the most. Maybe that was why he could never forgive her.
No one asked Genos about Saitama. Everyone knew, they just didn’t address it. Genos suspected fear was the cause of this, but whether it was fear of Saitama or fear of Genos, he did not know. King had not been to a meeting in three years, and Genos suspected this was also due to fear. Child Emperor wasn’t even much of a child anymore. The S Class heroes were changing and dwindling.
“Needless to say, the association is doing everything in its power to ensure that Saitama wont escape again.”
Genos could have laughed, but he didn’t have the energy. He wondered if they were mocking him, or genuinely trying to convince themselves they had control.
After he left the meeting he headed to the doctor, unable to fully repair his own hand on his own. Though he cherished the doctor’s kindness and familiarity, his words often told truths too confronting for Genos to handle.
“Somehow, you only seem to get hurt when he’s around.”
“I’m only alive because of sensei. He never intentionally hurt me.”
The sound of tools clinking stopped, and the old man sighed brokenly.
“Oh Genos my boy. I know he didn’t mean to, but he has hurt you in the worst kind of way.”
The sound of machinery running and tools moving could not drown out the silence. The grief in the doctor’s voice lay thick on Genos’ chest, and Genos could only close his eyes in attempt of distraction.
“It only hurts because I love him, and I do not regret loving him.”
But that’s not the full truth, he thought.
It hurts because he won’t stay with me.