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Kim Rok Soo had already made peace with the fact that he would not leave this world with an intact body, no longer because of the struggles of surviving the apocalypse, but because of every little mark he had accumulated over the years. From the most innocent ones made accidentally in his childhood to the ones that the remnants of exploded bottles had left on the soles of his feet, his arms, and the palms of his hands.
But as much peace as he had made with that fact, it didn't mean that he felt willing to expose his body just like that, if there was no need he preferred to let others see it.
He had had more than enough looks of pity, concern, and disgust.
He should not have accepted.
This was probably one of the worst decisions he had ever made in his life.
But Lee Soo Hyuk was worried, and a small part of him was just as desperate, if not more than desperate, to have someone who would care.
...
God, he needed to turn off his brain.
“-oo? Rok Soo?” Lee Soo Hyuk's voice snapped him out of his little reverie, realizing with disgust that his hands, his entire body, were shaking. “Are you okay? You don't need to–”
“It's fine.” Mostly, partially, somehow. Just because it was him.
He knew that his Team Leader didn't mean an order when he said 'Let me see' but Kim Rok Soo was weak, and the mix of his trust, fears, and wishes could only lead him in one direction.
Did Lee Soo Hyuk want to see them? Then Kim Rok Soo would make every last hair and the most tattered parts of his skin available to him, to inspect and judge and manipulate as he pleased.
But even if he believed his words himself, that didn't stop the air from feeling icy against his bare skin, or his eyes from looking anywhere but at the shadow of the man behind him in the room, nor his body from shivering at the inevitable vulnerability of exposure, or holding his breath at the feel of Lee Soo Hyuk's fingers going over the largest marks on his skin.
It... didn't hurt, but it was weird. He wasn't used to the feeling of another human's warmth, even doctors, and healers, and their power had always felt unnaturally cold.
It truly wasn't that bad, but he still felt the need and urge to run and hide, so he leaned and folded on his lap, awfully aware of how his muscles moved, his skin expanded and so did his scars. Perhaps the worst part was how quickly he noticed how his Team Leader's hand stopped, hesitating, waiting for something from him, to tell him whether to go ahead or not.
He stayed still, measuring, wanting to run and hide and cry, wanting to keep feeling the warmth and care and tenderness of the person he trusted the most in that entire hellhole they lived in.
“It's fine...” it was, it truly was, because it was Lee Soo Hyuk.
The warmth came back and he couldn't remember a single moment in his life where he was so relieved and stressed at the same time. The nearest one was with the very same man who was touching him, the day they had met, the day when Kim Rok Soo was saved.
Someone should tell his Team Leader that he should not be able to make even self-imposed tortures bearable, that his touch should not feel like cold water on a burn, and that if he had a secret ability that made everything better, to tell him now before he lost his mind.
He would not be the one to tell him though, even if it's messing with his brain, he couldn't help but want more of it.
Lee Soo Hyuk continued his ministrations more carefully, although he was unable to help himself when his hands stayed in a few marks that looked similar to a few he also had. He also couldn’t help himself when his eyes stopped over moles, stretch marks, and the way Kim Rok Soo’s body seemed to guide his gaze to his waist.
Why did he have to be so pretty? It feels unfair. That was what he thought.
Meanwhile, what crossed Rok Soo’s mind as his Team Leader pinned the last nail in the coffin by asking “Do you want to see mine next?” was, once again, how unfair Lee Soo Hyuk was when he said things like that.