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It wasn’t her fault, and she knew that, but Tooru felt she should have done better. She should’ve alerted Todoroki that she was there, or gotten out of the way. After all, he couldn’t have possibly known she was there when he unleashed his ice attack. No one ever knew she was there. She wondered if anyone would even notice she was missing.
Tooru had been trying to sneak away and get out of the USJ when Todoroki froze the landslide zone. He’d effectively gotten all the villains out of the way in a few impressive moves, which Tooru would have celebrated any other day. Because she’d taken off her shoes and gloves, and had been caught in his ice attack. The villains had the advantage of their costumes; Tooru didn’t even have that.
She could only hear the chaos vaguely occurring as she tried to free herself from the ice. It didn’t sound good, but she couldn’t bring herself to worry about that until she’d gotten herself free. The soles of her feet were the worst part, Tooru was certain the skin there was being pulled off as she desperately fought to free herself. She didn’t know if any villains were still around, she didn’t have a clue what was happening, so she bit her lip and screwed her eyes shut, as if that would block out the pain.
Once Tooru had her feet free, she pushed herself up onto trembling legs and slowly staggered away down the slope. She was leaving bloody footprints behind her, which defeated the point of removing her shoes and gloves for stealth. Tooru wanted to scream in frustration and agony, but she was too afraid of the idea of alerting someone to her presence, so she gritted her teeth and kept going. Slowly, painfully stumbling towards what she hoped was safety. She’d never been so cold in her life, she’d never been in so much pain. Tooru wasn’t a melee fighter, she wasn’t strong or tough like some of her classmates, so she wasn’t used to getting properly beat up. Thinking about it, she wasn’t sure she was really good for anything except going unnoticed.
The ground was painfully cold when she collapsed onto her knees, trembling too hard to keep going, and she curled up as tight as she could to try and conserve what little body heat she had left.
Her whole life, Tooru had been ignored and forgotten. She’d gotten used to going unnoticed, to disappearing into the background even when she stood at the centre of a group. Over the years, she’d found it to be both a curse and a blessing, but lying on the ground her classmate had frozen, bleeding and numb from the cold, Tooru wished she’d been born with any other quirk. She’d been so sure at U.A. no one would overlook her, because she’d be amongst her peers, but still she kept being forgotten.
Tooru’s mother had her same quirk, only that she could turn it on and off at will. She’d always been jealous of her mom, who could simply choose when she wanted to disappear from everyone’s thoughts. Out of sight, out of mind was as good a motto as any for Tooru’s life. Her mom was the best of anyone at remembering she was there, she’d only messed up on a few occasions, but they’d stuck with Tooru all through her life. She’d never felt more hopeless and betrayed than when her mother missed her, going about her day as if she hadn’t forgotten about her own daughter.
U.A. wasn’t what Tooru had hoped it would be, some part of her regretted even applying. The same part of her that was freezing and hurt, the same part of her that had told her she ought to quit everything and just vanish from the eyes of the world. But she’d worked so hard to get in, and no matter how hopeless she got, she’d never forgive herself if she quit after the first thing went wrong.
It was going stupendously wrong, though. Tooru heard something shatter and, looking up, saw that something had gone flying through the ceiling. The centre area of the USJ was thick with smoke which she could see billowing up to the ceiling. She could only lay there and hope the villains hadn’t won, and that someone from U.A. would find her eventually. She wasn’t sure how the school was going to handle the press after all of this, but she knew the media was going to go feral over a villain attack at the USJ.
The thought alone of moving made Tooru want to sob, but she gathered all her energy and tried to push herself back up onto her feet. She needed to get away, needed to get somewhere warm and safe. She felt her heart pounding in her chest and the world lurched worryingly when she tried to stand. She was doomed. There was no way she could escape hypothermia, not after so long completely naked, and her body had numbed to a point where she couldn’t feel any pain beyond the cold.
If there was one good thing about her quirk, it was that no one could see her cry. Tooru buried her face in her knees and sobbed as silently as she could. Pain and fear and heartbreak were too much for her in that moment; she was only a child, though she’d scowl at anyone who said so, and none of this was supposed to have happened. They were just supposed to train a little, not actually fight. It felt supremely unfair, and all Tooru could do about it was cry harder.
She had never been so scared of being forgotten before. She’d felt the pain of being completely overlooked and discarded – she’d felt the rage and frustration, too. But it had never felt to her like a matter of life or death. If no one realised Tooru wasn’t there – and who would, with everything else going on? – she had no chances for survival. There was no way she’d be able to get up and walk out, since she was only getting colder and weaker as time went on, and she knew Todoroki’s ice wasn’t the kind of thing to melt when he was done with it.
Tooru didn’t want to die. She’d considered killing herself before, when the complete blindness of everyone around her got to be too much, but she’d never gone through with it. Tooru Hagaruke wanted to be a hero, she wanted to make friends, and she wanted to live. She was hoping for the adrenaline boost to come and save her, but she worried it had come earlier and frozen with the rest of her. Tooru was completely at the mercy of others, unable to save herself. She wasn’t sure she’d ever felt less faith in the rest of humanity, even though she desperately wanted to keep her spirits up and remain hopeful.
Tooru rested her head on the ground, cushioned by hair she had never once seen, and shut her eyes. She wasn’t giving up, she couldn’t give up, she was just… tired.
Despite his spinning, disoriented vision, the first thing Shouta Aizawa does when he finally manages to pry his eyes open is do a headcount of his students. They all seemed to be gathered in front of the USJ, looking harried and scared. Some of Shouta’s colleagues were present, trying to reassure his students, though many of them seemed more concerned with speaking into the phone with stern voices and strong resolve. That was alright, it wasn’t their job to take care of his students, and he wouldn’t want it to be.
To get a better view of the situation, Shouta slowly turned his head to the side, ignoring how his face seemed to be full of shards of glass and fire in favour of trying to account for all of his students. Once he knew they were all safe, he could let himself acknowledge his pain but until then, Shouta himself didn’t matter.
He caught sight of his students in clumps, counting them carefully while taking stock of his situation. He was lying on the ground on someone’s coat, feeling woozy as he looked around. It didn’t matter, though, because he couldn’t account for all of his students. If any of them got hurt, if any of them died— he wasn’t sure what he’d do. The worst case scenario was the kids getting hurt, from the moment he threw himself into combat the worst case scenario had been the potential that his students might be injured. Shouta cultivated an aloof, untouchable persona in public to hide how worried he was all the time about his students’ welfare. He’d had countless kids under his care, and very few of them had gotten hurt under his supervision, but that never assuaged his fears.
Especially when his eyes landed on Midoriya, on the ground beside him. Somehow that boy had no clue how to use his quirk without hurting himself, it was a miracle that he’d even made it this far in life with such an appalling lack of knowledge about his quirk. When had he gotten injured? It must have been after he passed out, because Shouta definitely warned him to get away. How was he supposed to take care of his kids when they took the opportunity of him being unconscious to throw themselves into danger?
He heard someone mention an ambulance, and was overcome with relief. Midoriya needed treatment, he kept putting his body through these kinds of things and one day he wouldn’t be able to bounce back. Shouta was more resilient, he’d been through enough to be able to power through just about any injury – though he still ended up falling unconscious despite his students clearly needing him. Before an ambulance arrived and Shouta was whisked away from his students, he needed to complete his count. He’d counted 19 of them, the only one missing was Hagakure.
The invisible girl was hard to account for with his blurry, swirling vision, but he squinted and searched for her boots in the hoard of shoes in front of him. No one seemed to have noticed that he’d woken up yet, which was working to his advantage since no one was swarming his vision and he could count his kids unimpeded by pestering colleagues.
Where was Hagakure? Shouta scanned the crowd, growing slightly desperate as he searched for his student. No one else seemed worried, had he somehow missed her? No, he was careful to pay close attention to the girl, worried she’d feel underappreciated otherwise. He was not the kind of teacher to treat his students any differently depending on their quirks, and he wasn’t about to change that for Hagakure. But what was more likely; that Shouta, hurt and woozy as he was had missed one student in his headcount, or that all the other pro heroes and students had missed her?
It may sound like overconfidence, but Shouta always knew where his students were, and Hagakure wasn’t there. He lifted his head, wincing when his face seemed to light on fire at the small movement, and tried to get someone’s attention.
Himself, Midoriya and Thirteen – oh god, what had happened to Thirteen? – had been placed to the side, presumably so they wouldn’t be disturbed by the rest of the crowd. It also meant his weak voice was not going to carry far enough to get the attention he needed, and he could hear ambulance sirens approaching in the distance. Shouta couldn’t allow himself to be taken to hospital without being sure Hagakure was alright, he’d lose his mind.
No one was looking his way, no one even noticed as Shouta slowly tried to sit up, relying as little on his arms as possible. Where had Hagakure been sent, did he know? He was fairly certain there was no logic to the scattering of his students, they’d just been spread out. Hopefully, Hagakure was somewhere close to the entrance, and conscious. Shouta didn’t know how much strength he had at his disposal, but he suspected it was less than ideal. As much as he was reluctant to admit it, he was almost certainly too injured to go back after Hagakure. That wasn’t about to stop him, though.
Shouta staggered to his feet, wishing he could use his arms to steady himself, more grateful than ever for his high pain tolerance and the adrenaline roaring through his veins as he stumbled back towards the entrance to the building. Honestly, he was surprised no one got in his way. They had better things to do, he supposed, and the police force had just arrived.
Walking was excruciating, but Shouta powered through. He gritted his teeth to keep any sounds of pain contained, hauling his injured body back into the USJ. He stared down the daunting staircase, dread pooling in his gut, but there was no other way, he needed to get his student. If no one else was going to worry about her, he was fine to be the only one to do so. Shouta worried about his kids enough for everyone, really.
Wrapping his capture scarf around his fists in case he fell, Shouta slowly made his way down the stairs. He considered just leaping down again to save himself the pain of the staircase, but he knew there was no way he’d make it through that. It felt like it took hours to get to the base of the stairs, but surely that couldn’t be right because he doubted he had the energy to last that long, and if the ambulances were arriving they’d be looking for him. That didn’t matter, it was only a nuisance. Until Shouta had found Hagakure, nothing mattered. He took all the pain and weakness and locked it away somewhere it wouldn’t get in his way. His only thoughts were of his student, of making sure she was safe and sound.
Hagakure was an interesting kid, and she seemed very invested in learning, which Shouta always appreciated in a student, but she seemed to be having a hard time incorporating with her classmates. He imagined it must be hard for her, having been born invisible, and tried to involve her as much as possible. He never wanted a student to feel ostracised in his class and would go out of his way to make sure it never happened – and if it did, he stepped in as quickly as possible. From the little he’d spoken with Hagakure, he could tell she was a charming young girl and was sure she was the kind of person to make all kinds of friends if she could only insert herself into the pack.
“Hagakure?” Shouta cried, making his head spin with his own voice. He staggered when the world swayed, getting upsettingly close to the crater the Nomu had smashed with his head. “Hagakure, are you here? Can you hear me?”
Shouta steadied himself, walking to the entrances of all the different zones and screaming Hagakure’s name out in hope of a reply. Dead silence met him, though, and he felt his heart rate climbing higher and higher as he progressed through the zones. His head was spinning and his arms dragged him down to the ground, as if begging him to crumple to the ground and never get up. His elbow, which he’d chosen not to look at or think about, was screaming out at him. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to lie down and shut his eyes, but he needed to find Hagakure. He couldn’t leave until he’d gotten her, he couldn’t let them take him away in an ambulance until all his students were safe.
Was it hybris to assume he was right to go looking for her? He wasn’t well, there was no doubt about it, why was he so confident he was right? Were it anyone but himself, Shouta might’ve insisted it was completely insane to go hunting for an invisible student in such a state, when he had no real proof that she was missing. But it was him, and he’d spent years perfecting the ability to identify his students at a single glance.
“Hagakure?” he shouted again, hoping desperately for a reply. “Hagakure, can you answer me?”
Shouta stood at the edge of the landslide zone, feeling horribly desperate. He braced himself against the wall, straining his ears to catch any response.
Right when he was about to move on, a tiny voice called back to him. “Sensei?”
“Hagakure!” Shouta yelled, throwing himself into the landslide zone with such force he nearly fell to the ground. “Speak to me, tell me where you are.”
Shouta followed Hagakure’s quiet words, scrambling to get to her as fast as possible. Despite Aizawa’s numerous complaints, her costume was a pair of gloves and boots and nothing else, so she must be frozen to the bone. He could recognise Todoroki’s handiwork in the ice around them, and would need to have a word with his class about being careful with Hagakure if they couldn’t see her around.
There was a trail of bloody footprints leading to the spot Hagakure’s voice was coming from, and he crouched down in front of her, wishing he could look more in control for her. No one wanted to see their teacher – or anyone who was supposed to command a situation – so weak and injured. He kept a stoic face, but that was all he could do for her.
“Are you alright?” Shouta asked as gentle as he could manage.
“C-cold,” Hagakure said.
Shouta unwrapped his tattered capture weapon and held it out to her. It wasn’t very warm, but it was all he had to offer at that time, and it was something.
“Thank you,” the girl said, defining the shape of her shoulders and neck by wrapping Shouta’s meagre offering around her.
“Can you walk?”
“I…” Hagakure shifted, the capture tape bending as she lowered her head. She was trying to be brave, but the poor girl had been through so much, and Shouta was willing to make that sacrifice for her. She couldn’t walk, she was surely suffering from hypothermia, her feet had bled profusely recently, he wasn’t going to make her walk up those stairs. So what if his arms got hurt, they were already injured.
“I can carry you,” Shouta said.
“Aizawa-sensei, your arms…”
“I’ll be alright,” he said reassuringly, despite hardly believing it. “I’m going to get you out of here.”
Shouta watched carefully as Hagakure seemed to think it over before the capture weapon shifted around her shoulder, and Shouta took her hand. It had never occurred to him that he’d miss, but somehow connecting with her came as a shock. Her skin was cold as ice, and Shouta tightened his grip on her hand before pulling her into an embrace. She was freezing to the touch but wasn’t shivering, which was worrying.
“You didn’t miss,” Hagakure whispered. Confused for a moment, Shouta was struck with an understanding. He wondered when the last time someone had taken her hand without first fumbling for thin air was, but based on the choked emotion in her voice, he was sure it had been too long.
“Of course,” he replied, managing to tuck his arms under her and slowly, painfully lift her up. “I’m never going to miss you, Hagakure.”
The frozen girl buried her face into Shouta’s shirt as he slowly staggered out of the landslide zone. Shouta felt like he was going to pass out from the agony of his injuries, but he gritted his teeth so hard he was sure they cracked, keeping any sounds of discomfort in. Hagakure didn’t need to know how hurt he was. His elbow shouldn’t be holding anything, much less a teen girl, but he couldn’t put her down, and he couldn’t call for help. Shouta, vision flashing with blinding bursts of white, forced himself to keep moving forward. The bones in his face were tearing him apart from the inside, but he’d get that looked at later, when Hagakure was safe. Once all his kids were safe, he could get himself help.
Shouta clutched Hagakure to his chest and struggled his way up the stairs, fighting back tears as he moved forward, step by laborious step. He’d never lose her again, he’d never lose any of his kids again. Hagakure, especially, needed his attention, and Shouta would give it to her; as much as she needed from him. He was willing to destroy himself for his kids, just so they could feel safe for a few months longer.