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“What are you doing?” Dream asked, walking into George’s room. George tapped his cigarette on the windowsill.
“What does it look like?” George asked, taking a drag of the cigarette while hanging the top part of his body out the window before exhaling it while out the window. He took a second before he sat back next to the window with the cigarette out the window. He had always made sure the smoke didn’t get into the house the few times he smoked in his bedroom.
“What’s wrong?” Dream asked, sitting across from George and leaning on the wall next to the window. George shrugged and took another hit the same way as before. “You never smoke in here unless something is wrong. We’re best friends, dumbass, I know when something is wrong.”
“I think I’m in love with Nick.” George mumbled, licking his finger tips and pressing them on the end of the cigarette to put it out, before he flicked it into the lawn while making sure two times it was extinguished. He would pick it up later and put it in the tray on the porch.
“If you’re planning to light another one, give me one too. I’ll need one for this.” Dream said, moving closer to George so he can keep his own smoke out the window. They took their drags at the same time, both sticking their heads out the window. “Have you told him yet?”
George looked down at the grass as the stars provided a soft light. “Why would I? Pandas is- y'know, we aren’t.. We aren’t us .”
“I would hope you aren’t just best friends with the person you’re in love with, G.” Dream joked as they sat back on the floor of George’s room.
“I meant that we aren’t close like you and I are. Our whole friendship is just harassing each other for fun. We are dicks to each other, we aren’t soft and loving like lovers should be. We don’t talk in window sills or in the kitchen late at night. We aren’t in love. That’s the problem. I love him because I know how he is when he’s not being an ass to me. But, he doesn’t know that I’m not an ass. He doesn’t know how much I feel. He doesn’t even know that I still smoke. He doesn’t know that I never could quit.” George took another hit and Dream just took a second before he joined George out the window.
“Why don’t you start with just friends then. Start small and simple. Be friends and then see if there’s room to be lovers.”
“I hate slow burns.” George said, flicking his cigarette butt out into the yard. Dream followed suit with his own. “I really do.”
“Just go to the party tonight and make out with him.”
George snorted but hummed. “Okay.”
“Okay.” Dream said, “But I’m picking out your outfit.”
George rolled his eyes and finished his cigarette while Dream put his out and started going through George’s wardrobe. When George finished, he went outside to clean up the cigarette butts and ran into Sapnap who was sitting in the living room. He hadn’t been there when George had passed through the first time. “Hey.”
“You going to the party at Skep’s?” Sapnap asked, hitting his vape.
“Yeah, Dream talked me into it.” George shrugged. “See you.”
“..right.” George went back upstairs and took a shower, before changing into the outfit Dream picked out for him.
George laughed when he read the note that was on his bed next to where the clothes were. ‘If anyone asks, you’re wearing the Men’s Sexy Stretch Skinny Cut-Out T-Shirt, black long sleeve, by Queer in The World. Paired with soft fabric slacks that cost too much money, and even more expensive black dress shoes. You look hot asf and make sure you tell me all about your makeout session. Love, Dream :)’ George folded the note and slipped it into his nightstand drawer, before heading to the living room to ride to the party with Dream and Sapnap.
Dream was wearing some high-end button down that cost as much as a pair of airpod pros, with the top 3 buttons undone. He matched that with slacks and probably a poor choice of footwear. Sapnap was in a silky shirt that had no sleeves, techsuit-like pants and a pair of orange and black sneakers. He was wearing a hat that was also black and orange.
If George didn’t already know about his crush, he certainly would know about it now.
They got to the party and the three of them split off to greet different groups of people. George made it outside with Parker, Gia and Skeppy and he lit a cigarette while Skeppy got him a drink. “How did Sapnap take the fact you didn’t quit?” Parker asked and Skeppy snorted.
George huffed, “He doesn’t know.” George was standing slightly away from the group to make sure his smoke didn’t go towards any of them.
“Everyone knows. Everyone. But your roommate?” Parker questioned and George nodded. George set his cigarette in the ashtray, before drinking the drink Skeppy had been holding for him. He got himself another that was quickly gone. He decided to nurse the third drink to allow his body to catch up with the alcohol he had just consumed.
Sapnap dragged George to dance with him. Lover’s Rock by TV Girl was playing as Sapnap and George danced with their bodies pressing together, face to face, breath to breath. Eyes locked on lips and George’s drink long gone so his hands could roam Sapnap’s chest and shoulders while they danced.
But if you're too drunk to drive
And the music is right
She might let you stay
But just for the night
Sapnap grabbed George’s face with one hand, and kept his other on the boy’s waist where they had been while dancing, pulling George into a sweet kiss as their bodies kept moving. George didn’t hesitate to kiss Sapnap back. They were both very drunk and very much starting to feel a little too inappropriate for a public setting.
And if she grabs for your hand
And drags you along
She might want a kiss
Before the end of this song
George pulled away and both of them panted for air as George took Sapnap’s wrist and started to lead him outside. “Wha- George?”
“I’m getting us an uber so we can continue this at home.” George said, cheeks flushed and lips swollen from Sapnap nipping at them inside. Sapnap nodded and freed his wrist from George’s hold so George could use his phone with both hands. Sapnap took advantage of the free hand and he wrapped it around George’s waist, ever so gently squeezing the fat above his hip bones. George leaned into the hold as he booked an uber to arrive in 10 minutes.
“Are you sure about this, G? Because you can always say no, it won’t ruin anything for me.” Sapnap asked, looking at George instead of the road. George’s gaze met Sapnap’s, both with half-lidded eyes from the alcohol.
“I’m sure, Nick. I wouldn’t have kissed you back or booked this uber home with you if I didn’t want you in my bed.” George shrugged and slipped his phone into his pocket, before using his left hand - the one closest to Sapnap - to grab the collar of Sapnap’s shirt and pull him into another sweet kiss. This kiss spiraled into less lust than the previous, this one only burned with passion .
They parted a minute before the uber arrived and crawled into the back of it, hand-in-hand.
Once they got home, George led them up to his room, closing the door and quickly got pressed into it as warm lips met his own and hungry hands found his waist. George wasted no time in reciprocating the kiss or the wandering hands, as his hands quickly were up Sapnap’s shirt and roaming his chest and abdomen.
When George woke up alone in his bed the next morning in nothing but clean boxers and one of Sapnap’s hoodies - that Sapnap went and fetched from his own room - that was given to him after the aftercare bath, he can’t say he was entirely shocked. They were both drunk, it was just a drunken hookup and George just so happened to have feelings. It wasn’t anything George couldn’t handle.
He just didn’t want to.
George groaned and grabbed his phone off his nightstand, glad that post aftercare led to phones being charged, and opened his group chat with his housemates.
The Gay Men StripClub
i’m heading to la with larray
he invited me last night :] < Gog
Pandas > like soon?
Daddy Dream > make sure you pack enough stuff
i’ll be leaving in a few hours
i’m going to start packing now < Gog
Daddy Dream > i’ll start the hangover pancakes now then
so you can eat before you go
Pandas > you didn’t think to mention something fucking last night??
Daddy Dream > woah nick what??
Pandas > he just gets to fucking leave out of nowhere?
Daddy Dream > he still has hours. jesus if ur gonna cling to him this badly
you might as well just go with him
Daddy Dream > i could use the alone time
i get bitches when you guys are gone
pfft like you could get bitches < Gog
Daddy Dream > like you wouldn’t agree to a night with me ;)
oh my god < Gog
Pandas > okay stop
Pandas > this is fucking stupid
Pandas > you can’t just announce the fact you’re leaving
for an undetermined amount of time with only a few hours
till you have to be on a fucking plane
Pandas > not after everything
Daddy Dream > what??
I can leave if I want to, Nick.
I figured you would be the most supportive here < Gog
You know all about leaving, afterall. < Gog
Daddy Dream > Nick??
Pandas > fuck off.
George groaned and set his phone down, opening his window to smoke. It didn’t hit him until he was smoking outside the airport waiting for Larray, that Sapnap would have tasted the cigarette everytime he and George kissed. And that realization made him put his cigarette out while bile rose in his throat.
-
“Clay.” Sapnap said, walking into Dream’s room. Dream paused the video he was watching and cocked his head to the side, looking at his best friend. “George smoked a cigarette at the party last night. Can you check on him? I know he was clean and-”
“He’s not.” Dream said, turning his phone off and sitting up properly to face Sapnap.
“What?”
Because love can burn like a cigarette
“George didn’t quit. He never stopped like you thought he did. But you also never paid attention to know he didn’t quit. I noticed. Skeppy noticed. Parker noticed. Gia noticed. Bad noticed. You live with him. You’re meant to love him. And you didn’t notice.” Dream unpaused the video, “He would have noticed if it were you.” Dream gave his full attention to the screen and Sapnap just wordlessly left.
And leave you alone with nothing
-
Sapnap thought of George alone on the back porch as he took a hit of his weed pen. Dream could suck his nards about hitting it in his office. The door was shut and all the cats were on George’s bed. Sapnap was an adult, he can do as he pleases. Like leaving George’s bed when he thought George didn’t feel the same way and would kick him out.
But George was sitting back there, smoking a cigarette since he never could quit, and waiting for the city to dim like it does here in Florida. But LA isn’t Florida, the city doesn’t dim. The billboard shines bright through the windows of their LA house all through the night. It only changes once every two weeks. It illuminates their backyard in full and never fades. Its brightness only simply gets lost when the sun comes out.
Just like George, Sapnap supposes. Maybe that’s why George ran there. Maybe that’s why George wouldn’t just stay and talk.
Sapnap grabbed George’s t-shirt off his office bed. He had accidentally picked it up with the rest of his things when he left that morning. He brought the shirt to his chest and caught the lingering scent of cigarette smoke. The smell used to annoy Sapnap, but now it was George . And if it meant he got to have George, he would accept the smell. He would accept the taste on his tongue as their lips pressed together. Sapnap would accept George for all of who he is.
For his too many emotions that he shuts them off, for his fidgeting, for his yelling, for his soft tones, for his cuddles, for his cat-like behavior, for his trust issues, for his shattered soul and cracked heart. Sapnap would love George for everything and more. For better or worse, if he were honest. And maybe he would marry George one day, he certainly has thought about it. He’s thought about it in the same way he thinks about the soft edges of George’s reserved personality.
Sapnap walked over to the drawer of his desk and looked at the pack of cigarettes that George left in the room after a stream. Sapnap also had one of George’s lighters from a bong night they had. Sapnap knew that George was probably still wearing Sapnap’s hoodie. At least he had that. It was his favorite hoodie but it looked much better on George. George can’t see the lavender purple of the anime hoodie, but Sapnap thinks the color suits him in all the ways Sapnap wished he could.
Sapnap wished for many things. Many things that would be tangible if George felt the same.
<~>
“The billboard changed twelve times while I was there.” George said to Sapnap as he was starting to wake up. “It never dimmed. It just.. Shone very brightly.”
“You were gone for a while. I missed you.” Sapnap sat up in George’s bed. “Larray said his kitten didn’t even see him.”
George sat next to Sapnap and looked at his hands where they played with the hem of his simple black t-shirt. “I stayed in the house. I smoked when I couldn’t sleep. I laid in your bed - like how you laid in mine - and I mostly wore your hoodie. I ordered takeout, but healthy food most of the time. I smoked when I was bored. I thought about you- about us . But you- you left- and I- I know we were drunk but I thought there was something. I thought something was there. I mean- you kissed me. You- you ran me a bath and took it with me. You went to your room to get me your comfort hoodie. I thought there was something but then you left.”
“I left because I thought you didn’t have the same feelings. I didn’t want to face rejection head-on with you kicking me out. So I left. I’m sorry, I should have stayed. We should have talked much sooner. I shouldn’t have let you go.
George leaned his head on Sapnap’s shoulder. “You’re an idiot. I am in love with you. I literally gushed to Dream about it before Skeppy’s party.”
Sapnap chuckled, “You’re the idiot here pretty boy.” Sapnap grabbed George’s chin and put them into a better position to share a soft kiss. One of love. “I love you.” Sapnap whispered against George’s lips.
<~>
The Gay Men StripClub
if you guys are done fucking i made pancakes < Daddy Dream
Pandas > we were NOT fucking
Gogy > nick, i told you to be quieter oh my god
Pandas > WHAT?!
i heard *everything* pandas < Daddy Dream
Pandas > SO YOU KNOW IM A BOTTOM?!
Gogy > the walls are sound proof sap he was fucking with you
im posting a screenshot of that message to twt < Daddy Dream
Sapnap heard his and George’s phones buzz at the same time, two hours after they had gone to bed later that night. George had just fallen asleep and Sapnap finally put his laptop away to stop editing and to join his boyfriend in sleep Sapnap groaned and rolled over to look at his phone and see what could be going on.
Then, he saw the screenshot of the group chat and he set his phone down before going to the door of George’s room and opening it, facing the direction of Dream’s room. “CLAY!” Sapnap saw the cracked open door and heard the infamous wheeze of his best friend from down the hall. George blinked awake and tilted his head, looking at Sapnap with a few strands of hair sticking up.
“What happened?” George asked and Sapnap just shut the door, shaking his head in disbelief. He went back to the bed and put his phone back on the nightstand before pulling George into an embrace, allowing them both to drift off easily. Jokes on Dream, because Sapnap had his own message screenshots to share with the world. The war had only just begun. And with George in his arms, Sapnap can finally be truly deeply happy while he jokes around with his friends.