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Please, tell me Shen Qingqiu wasn’t involved.

Summary:

Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua have an ongoing "bad/good recipe" battle. Mobei-jun asks Shen Qingqiu for a recipe recommendation and Shang Qinghua fears the worst.

Work Text:

It started some months ago, when Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun started getting so busy at work that they would just arrive home to have a quick dinner and fall asleep almost immediately. After a week of eating alone, Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua opted to keep each other company: so everyday, after work, they'd get together in either of their houses to have dinner and talk, before going back home when their partners arrived. Then, they started sharing recipes that they and their respective partners enjoyed, and of course, tips for tired, lazy people with almost decent skill at cooking, and…

Well, Shang Qinghua swears it was Shen Qingqiu who first forced him to try an awful dish as a prank, but Shen Qingqiu swears it was Shang Qinghua who gave him the strangest and useless tip ever as a prank to make his dish almost poisonous. At the end, it didn't really matter who started it, it became an all out war between them. It would be either concealing a prank dish between the real ones they were going to have for dinner that day, so the other was tricked into trying it, or convincing the other one that one recipe or the other was great enough to make it at home. So far, Shen Qingqiu had fooled Shang Qinghua a total of 46 times, while Shang Qinghua had fooled him 55 times. It got so bad at times, that they went back to referring to each other as Airplane-bro and Cucumber-bro, and some offensive variants from time to time, depending on the mood, the day and the dish they got pranked with.

That had kept it between themselves, though. So neither Mobei-jun nor Luo Binghe knew about their little war. That's why, the day Shen Qingqiu receives a message from Luo Binghe saying his father was going to leave work early on Friday and wanted to surprise Shang Qinghua by cooking, Shen Qingqiu didn't doubt a second on taking the opportunity to prank his friend. He started searching immediately for a recipe that both looked good but probably tasted awful.

 

 

In his defense, Mobei-jun didn't find anything wrong or strange with the recipe. He even checked the comments and looked up some of the history behind it. Something about some nuns and a president or something like that, so he guessed it wasn't a bad idea at all. He was even thinking of preparing some extra portions for Binghe and Qingqiu in thanks. Shen Qingqiu had even offered to distract his beloved as long as he needed so he was able to cook at leisure, the only thing he had asked in exchange, was a video of Shang Qinghua's reaction. Of course, he accepted. It was still Monday, but he made his assistant start searching for the ingredients. It seemed like some of them were difficult to find, and as he wanted it to be a surprise, he stored every new ingredient he got in his office minibar.

By the time Friday came, the small fridge wasn't even closing correctly and Mobei-jun knew the recipe by heart. When Binghe messaged him that Shang Qinghua was with Shen Qingqiu already, he took the ingredients and went back home to start preparations.

He almost choked himself when burning the chiles to be able to peel the skin off them. Then he almost cut himself at least twenty times (he counted and cursed the knife each time) while cutting the fruit. He made a mess with the pomegranate fruit, so there were seeds everywhere and he slipped when he was going to pour the nogada over the chiles and a good part of it landed on him, and…

 

 

 

When Shang Qinghua got home and found Mobei-jun like… Well, like that, and the kitchen upside-down, he knew. He just knew Shen Yuan had something to do with it. His phone alerts him of a new message.

 

🥒 bro 

Your MBJ told my Binghe he wanted to surprise you. 

Hope you like it.

 

Shang Qinghua silently cursed both Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu. Mobei-jun stood in the middle of the mess in the kitchen with a new apron with the words “ICE DADDY” over the picture of a man's ripped body in a tiny bikini. Even with the apron and his long hair in a ponytail, his clothes and hair were a total mess. There was a strange white sauce on them, along with some strange bits of burnt… he didn't know what, but something burnt, and purplish-reddish stains here and there both on his clothes and skin and on the floor. There were at least three different dirty bowls, seeds and burnt something all over the place, the strange sauce dripping from the countertop… Shang Qinghua was starting to get a headache just from thinking of all the work it'd be to clean everything up.

“Come sit down. You haven't had dinner yet, have you?”

Shang Qinghua can only shake his head and blush when Mobei-jun's beautiful blue eyes find his. He'll think about cleaning up later, after dinner. He takes another look at Mobei-jun and can't help but mentally move clean up to the next morning, maybe even the next afternoon if Mobei-jun is in the mood for-

“Try it. It's Chile en Nogada.” Mobei-jun places a dish before him. “I had some help from Shen Qingqiu on deciding what to cook, but I did make it myself.”

Shang Qinghua couldn't help but curse Sheng Qingqiu once more. Of course this was the perfect opportunity to prank him. How could he ever leave even a crumb of something Mobei-jun cooked specially for him? 

Shang Qinghua cuts a piece of it and he closes his eyes as he takes the piece to his mouth slowly, not wanting to experience Shen Qingqiu's personally prepared hell for him. He even holds his breath and curses him, the day they met and their friendship mentally. 

“Don't be so dramatic, I'm not that bad of a cook.”

Ah, right. He has to pretend everything is fine for Mobei-jun. He takes the bite quickly and chews a few times before opening his eyes in surprise and swallowing. It tastes incredibly good. He takes another piece, and another, and another, and another… as quickly as he can.

“Is it that good?” 

“Mhm!!” 

He nods his head frantically and turns to face Mobei-jun, only to find him recording a video of him eating. Definitely Cucumber-bro's doing… He makes his partner lower the phone and kisses him. Mobei-jun stops recording and takes his face in his hands. He rubs small circles on his cheeks, then next to his eyes, and-

“Ah! My eyes!” His Qinghua starts crying and rubbing his eyes. “Mobei-jun! You didn't wash your hands after handling the chili!” 

He can't help but think his Qinghua looks adorable and takes a picture before being scolded by said adorable man.

 

✈️ bro

Thanks.

Thought it was one of your pranks at first.

It was nice of you to help.

🥒 bro

Don't mention it. 

I was really going to prank you.

✈️ bro

Thnx anygays.