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It was dark outside, the only light coming from the few buildings they were passing and the occasional car that drove in the opposite direction. It was calm and quiet and Jongho was reminded of the car trips with his parents when he was younger, where he would watch the streets passing by until he fell asleep curled up under a blanket and his dad carried him inside to his bed.
He missed them.
Despite his parents living in Seoul he barely saw them, the last time nearly three months back. He supposed he couldn’t complain, San’s parents were all the way in Namhae and Seonghwa’s in Jinju. His oldest hyung hadn’t seen his family in over a year and hadn’t even met his older brother’s daughter yet.
Jongho turned his attention to his sleeping members. Their day had been exhausting between recording and dance practice and now they were on their way to some remote location for their next M/V shooting.
He could see all of them from where he sat in the back row where he was squished between the window on his left and Mingi on his right. Their normal van had to be repaired so they were left in a regular nine-seater divided in three rows, which was a tight fit especially for their taller members. Mingi was resting partially against San, his long legs entangled with Jongho’s in the younger’s footrest. San, for his part, was asleep against the window, using Shiber as a pillow.
In the middle row Yeosang and Wooyoung were curled up against each other, having fallen asleep while listening to music together. Seonghwa was leaning against the door, his neck bent in an uncomfortable position which surely would leave him aching when he woke up. Jongho didn’t want to disturb him and possibly the others when they got so little sleep in total to get him to sit in a better position.
Yunho was asleep in the front row, leaning against the door, the only place where he could at least somewhat stretch out his legs. Hongjoong, who was talking quietly with the manager driving them, was resting his head against Yunho’s upper arm.
Originally they had decided that Mingi would sit in the front with Yunho so he too could stretch his legs.
Their plans were crossed when Hongjoong had woken that morning with a headache which had gradually gotten worse over the day. At one point their captain had even taken pain medication, which he normally refused since they made him drowsy, and let Eden do the recording with them while he napped on Seonghwa’s shoulder until it was his turn.
Their second oldest hyung had still looked pale and ashen when they had made their way down to the garage and had quietly asked Mingi if they could switch places as he wasn’t feeling well and whenever he was not feeling good it was a sure thing he would get motion sick. Mingi had agreed immediately, worried for his favorite hyung, and proclaimed that he wanted to sit next to Jongho.
The maknae smiled faintly at the memory until without much warning dizziness overcame him, making him feel hot and cold at the same time. He was confused, he had been feeling completely fine one second and now he had to rest his head firmly against the headrest as the world tilted around him. Nausea made itself known in his stomach and he took a deep breath. He tried to breathe through it, hoping it was a momentary fluke.
But no, with his eyes closed he felt even more dizzy, his brain not sure where up, down, left and right were. It was disorientating and not knowing what else to do, he tried to reach out for his Mingi-hyung, wanting some purchase and comfort. His hands trembled and he let them fall back to his lap, whining lowly in his throat in frustration. He really wasn’t feeling good.
“Mingi-hyung”, he whispered. No reaction.
“Mingi-hyung”, he tried louder. Still, Mingi only shifted slightly but kept on sleeping.
“Mingi-hyung, I don’t feel well”, he said loudly. If he wasn’t so distressed and focused on staying upright, he would have thought it funny when suddenly most of his hyungs jerked awake.
Still staring straight ahead to abate the vertigo he saw how Yeosang and Wooyoung’s heads collided painfully as they startled. Ordinarily he would have laughed at them. Ordinarily he wouldn’t have felt sick from the disturbance as Mingi in his confusion detangled their legs rather violently.
“Jongho-yah?”, Hongjoong asked from the front, apparently the only person not completely disoriented as he hadn’t been in deep sleep a few seconds ago, “what’s going on?”
Jongho tried to speak, but his tongue wouldn’t move and his mouth was filling with saliva. He tried to lean forward, as he hoped that putting his head between his knees might help the nausea but he hadn’t accounted for the seat belt pressing against his stomach.
He gagged violently and suddenly his stomach contents were escaping from his mouth, splattering on his hands, jeans, shoes and the back of Yeosang’s seat. He was vaguely aware of loud and confused shouting but the only things he could focus on was the lack of air in his lungs, the warm vomit on his body and the hand rubbing his shoulder blades.
He cried, frustrated as his body betrayed him and left him feeling so so sick.
⌛
The next thing he was really aware of was gentle hands pulling him from his seat between two bouts of retching, soft voices coaxing him towards them. He blindly trusted his hyungs, not knowing how else to feel. Somebody was helping him slide out of the car but his knees buckled the moment they had to support his weight. Strong hands caught him and helped him to the ground, where he continued getting sick.
Yet, the fresh air was helping with the dizziness and - while he was still extremely nauseous - for the first time since it started he was mostly aware of what was going on. He was leaning against a strong chest, the person behind him definitely taller than him, so he supposed it was Mingi holding him. Seonghwa was kneeling next to him, softly smiling when Jongho lifted his head to look around. San, Yunho, Hongjoong and their manager were standing a few meters away, far enough to give him some semblance of privacy but close enough to help should they need it. He couldn’t see Wooyoung and Yeosang from his position on the ground.
As the vertigo started to abate Jongho became acutely aware of how embarrassed he was. Yellowish sick was covering the ground around him, his jeans, shirt and hands and even worse, some parts of Seonghwa’s pants as well. If he had to guess Mingi probably also wasn’t spared.
“Hey, baby”, Seonghwa said, a sad smile on his face, “are you feeling better?”
Jongho took a moment to take stock of his body. He wasn’t as dizzy anymore and the slight queasiness he was still feeling stemmed more from the disgust than actual nausea, he thought. His head was aching faintly and his stomach was feeling a bit weird but otherwise he felt … fine.
He nodded reluctantly. “Yes, hyung”, he said quietly.
“How about we move to the picnic table?”, his oldest hyung suggested, gesturing at the sitting area a few meters away. Luckily it was completely empty, like the whole rest stop they were at, so nobody else had witnessed his … episode. God, if somebody had recognized him and posted it. Tears welled up in his eyes but he refused to cry over something that hadn’t even happened.
Instead he nodded yes to Seonghwa’s question.
Gently, like Jongho might break, he was lifted to his feet by Seonghwa and Mingi who, as expected, had been the one to sit behind him. They took it slow, walking a wide berth around the sick on the grass and letting Jongho decide the tempo and rest his weight on them.
As he stared at the ground, unable to look up in embarrassment, he noticed how Mingi’s lower pants were completely covered in sick, causing the older man to walk slightly awkwardly so it wouldn’t stick to his legs. Now tears were falling down Jongho’s cheeks again in earnest.
“I’m sorry”, he whispered, feeling like he had reached a new low. Sure, he had been sick during the time he knew the others but he wasn’t sick often. Especially not this terribly, disgustingly sick. Not like Yunho and Seonghwa who seemed to catch every illness going around or even Hongjoong who wasn’t ‘sick sick’ often but often enough sick from his food intolerances, motion sickness and migraines. This was the worst time for Jongho yet.
⌛
“It’s fine, maknae. Don’t worry”, Mingi assured him, following his gaze downward to his pants, despite wincing a bit, “everybody gets sick sometimes.”
If the situation wasn’t as bad as it was, Jongho might have laughed at the timing. His other hyungs and the manager were coming closer now that Jongho was done playing the exorcist but apparently it wasn’t enough that he had stopped vomiting.
Hongjoong, who was trailing a bit behind the others, lost all of his color then (considering that he could probably see and smell everything, Jongho couldn’t blame him), placed a hand in front of his mouth and gagged, looking panicked.
“Oh, God”, he groaned, barely loud enough for them to hear, and turned on his heel to run towards the bathroom signs illuminating the side of the rest stop. Hongjoong managed to take a few steps before he stumbled and crashed to his hands and knees. He coughed loudly and even from the distance Jongho was able to sick the sick splattering onto the ground in front of him.
Yunho and San worriedly and a bit overwhelmed looked at each other, apparently not having expected that. Then San followed their captain, kneeling down beside him and rubbing his back. Yunho and the manager knew that Hongjoong hated attention when he was ill, so they turned their backs and came closer to Jongho.
“Shit”, Seonghwa, on the other hand, cursed but tugged Jongho to the bench where they helped the maknae sit down, Mingi sitting to hug him from behind again. They both glanced towards Hongjoong a few times but tried to focus on the maknae.
“Baby, can we clean you up?”, Mingi asked carefully.
Tearing his gaze away from the sick captain as well, Jongho nodded blankly. Seonghwa squeezed his shoulder, probably the only part of Jongho that was not soiled.
“Hey, don’t worry. Joong-ah will be fine, you know he hasn’t been feeling well all day. It’s not your fault”, the eldest comforted, squatting down in front of Jongho.
“If I hadn’t gotten sick…”, Jongho started, body starting to shake in the cold air. He was still glad that despite being treated to the sounds of retching and gagging, as well as the sight of his captain vomiting, he wasn’t feeling sick again himself.
“Yunho-yah, can you go get Jongho-yah some fresh clothes?”, the manager said, leaving no time for arguments. “And maybe some towels and water?”
The manager crouched down to look up at Jongho and gave him a sad smile: “For what it’s worth, Joong-ah asked me to stop at this gas station anyways because he wasn’t feeling well even before that. It’s not your fault, I’m surprised he held out this long.”
“Hm, do you think it’s a virus or food poisoning?”, Seonghwa asked then. “I mean”, he offered when they all looked at him, “maknae here doesn’t get motion sick normally. Hongjoong-ah wasn’t feeling well all day, yes, he could be motion sick but considering that Jongho was also sick I think that’s unlikely.”
The manager shrugged. “Did you and Hongjoong-ah share food that nobody else ate, Jongho-yah?”
Jongho bit his lip and tried to think back. “I mean, we had some eggs for breakfast today which Wooyoung didn’t manage to eat because he was so slow in getting ready but I could have sworn they were good.”
“Maybe they were, maybe they weren’t”, the manager said and groaned as he got to his feet, “it doesn’t matter really. I will see if I can get the car clean, you three take care of Jongho-yah, hm?”
At that moment Yunho appeared next to the manager, holding towels, water bottles and fresh clothes as instructed and the manager patted his shoulder before leaving. Out of the corner of his eyes Jongho saw San lead Hongjoong into the gas station, probably to help him clean up too. San was carrying a towel too, so Yunho must have stopped to give it to them before.
Jongho was too tired to protest when Seonghwa wet the towel with a water bottle and started to clean his face and hands, while Yunho helped Mingi get out of his pants and held a big towel around him so he could change without being seen. There was nobody there except them but being idols they had learned not to assume things like that.
Jongho was bundled up in one of Yunho’s large sweaters and a pair of sweatpants he didn’t recognize who they belonged to. When he looked up he saw San and a pale Hongjoong approaching them. The captain truly looked awful, face washed out and his hairline was covered in sweat. San had wrapped an arm around the captain’s shoulders and held an honestly impressive amount of plastic bags in one hand.
Seonghwa raised his eyebrow at him as they arrived and the younger man grinned. “I think the cashier likes me. I asked for a few bags and he gave me like at least fifteen.”
“Don’t you think it’s rather because Hongjoong-hyung still looks really bad?”, Yunho asked teasingly, hoping to lighten the mood.
Hongjoong just weakly stuck out his tongue, lacking his normal enthusiasm at disciplining unruly dongsaeng. He must still be feeling really awful and Jongho noticed his hand hovering over his stomach. Yeah, definitely still nauseous.
Before the mood could get awkward San offered: “Well, anyway, I figured the bags might come in handy. Since Jongho-yah normally doesn’t get carsick and he and Hongjoong-hyung shared breakfast we think they might have food poisoning.”
“Yeah, we came to the same conclusion”, Mingi agreed, having managed to change himself and now was helping Seonghwa.
“I’m really sorry, Jjongie”, Hongjoong whispered sadly, a vast difference to his normally loud and happy voice, “I should have been more careful. Next time please tell me to wear my glasses and check the best-before date.”
San sighed, obviously unhappy with the captain blaming himself but he kept quiet and helped Hongjoong sit down on the bench next to Jongho. Then he handed a few of the bags to Seonghwa who put the soiled clothing inside to be discarded.
Most of Jongho’s and Mingi’s clothes couldn’t be saved anyways and Seonghwa probably wanted to get rid of the memory with the clothes.
“It’s alright, hyung”, Jongho said, feeling bad that his captain was feeling bad. He had genuinely enjoyed their morning. It wasn’t often that the two of them had uninterrupted time with just each other with their hectic schedules so he had relished in just talking with his hyung about not-work related stuff. It hurt, feeling unfair, that their amazing time had turned into this disaster. “I should have been more careful too. I don’t regret having spent time with you this morning for once.”
He beckoned Hongjoong closer and wrapped an arm around the smaller man. Hongjoong relaxed into his side and nodded faintly, letting Mingi wrap an arm around him too. It was clear that the captain was exhausted by the ordeal and likely long nights spent at the studio.
“That’s all very nice”, Seonghwa interrupted them, turning his oldest-hyung mode on, “but how are you two feeling now?”
Jongho took a second to check in with his body and he was very surprised. He was still slightly queasy, but it was more of an empty feeling. His vision had stopped swirling some time ago. Honestly, if he hadn’t thrown up half an hour ago he would have assumed he was just fine.
“I feel okay”, Jongho said and, when Hongjoong and Seonghwa stared at him with similar looks of disbelief, he added: “Truly! I’m not dizzy anymore and my stomach feels okay, just empty but not nauseous. I’m just really tired.” As if to prove his point, he yawned.
“Okay”, Seonghwa agreed, “that’s good. What about you, Joong-ah? Also the truth, please.”
Hongjoong grimaced, looking dazed. “My head still hurts and I’m a bit queasy still. I think I just need some more pain medication. I took some like half an hour ago but I threw it up just now, so…” He trailed off, looking at the manager who was walking up towards them. “I can go on though. No use in staying here of all places.”
“Alright”, the manager said, “Sadly they don’t have a pharmacy inside the station, so I couldn’t get any medication. We can stop later if you need us to. I bought some cleaning supplies though and the car is as clean as it gets. We can go on if you’re ready. Anybody who needs the bathroom better go now and somebody please go find Woo and Sang-ah.”
“Oh, well, they are inside in a booth”, San explained, “Wooyoungie wasn’t so good with the puking, so Sang-ah is distracting him with ice cream and games. I’ll go get them.”
The manager nodded and they split up with Jongho, Seonghwa and the manager going towards the bathroom while Mingi and Yunho, both having wrapped an arm around Hongjoong’s waist, walked towards the car which the manager had moved away from the puddle of vomit.
⌛
When they returned Yunho, Mingi, San, Wooyoung and Yeosang were standing next to the car with Hongjoong sitting in the footwell in the middle row, legs pulled up to his chest and leaning sideways against the middle row seat. He looked incredibly tiny and young that way, making Jongho feel extra bad for him. It was unfair really how much he was suffering while Jongho was fine after throwing up once.
In all seriousness Jongho was surprised that Hongjoong had been so sick while the maknae had eaten way more eggs than him but he supposed the elder’s exhaustion, headache and motion sickness didn’t make his situation better. Still, he wished that the captain would feel better soon. Jongho knew that Hongjoong had looked forward to the filming a lot, able to escape his stressful everyday life for a more relaxed atmosphere with his friends.
“We weren’t really sure how we should do the seating arrangement”, Yunho explained sheepishly, “technically Jongho-yah and Hongjoong-ah should both be in the front to help with the nausea but we don’t think it’s a good idea since they might get sick again and can’t help each other.”
“I can sit in the back row again”, Jongho said immediately, “I don’t feel sick anymore.”
“That’s very good, Jongho”, Seonghwa placated, shaking his head, “but I agree with Yunho. You already got so sick, we should try to avoid a repeat of that.”
Jongho nodded, too exhausted to discuss this in detail. He knew his overprotective hyungs would do everything to protect him even if there was nothing to protect him from. Also, he wasn’t sure if the motion of the car might set his stomach off again.
“Jjongie can go in the front, with either Mingi or Yunho”, Hongjoong said tiredly and without lifting his head from the seat, “Wooyoung and Yeosang should go in the middle row, we all know that Wooyoungie feels better when he feels like he can escape easily out of the door as soon as we stop. San can go with them. I’ll go in the back with Seonghwa and either Yunho or Mingi. I can take Jongho’s old seat so I’m furthest away from Wooyoungie as possible.”
Jongho couldn’t help but be impressed with their captain. He had put some obvious thought to the seating arrangement, despite still looking in pain and queasy.
San would be able to help Yeosang calm Wooyoung down should he have another emetophobia-fuelled panic attack. Mingi and Yunho needed the space the front provided. Seonghwa always felt best when helping members so he would go with Hongjoong (though Jongho supposed it was also a slightly selfish longing on the captain’s part, wanting his only hyung close). And Jongho would feel best in the front should the illness return.
The only flaw was that Hongjoong looked all sorts of ashen and green already and Jongho didn’t doubt he would be sick again, no matter if it was motion sickness or food poisoning.
Seonghwa seemed to think along the same lines as Jongho. “Joong-ah, you can’t be serious? I’m sorry to be so frank but you look like you’re about to hurl again and sitting in the back won’t help.”
Hongjoong sighed. “I feel like it too but whatever we do, if this is food poisoning I will be sick again no matter where I sit. Jongho might avoid getting sick again if he is in the front, considering he feels better, and Wooyoungie can’t sit in the back row, no matter how much it was cleaned. I’m sorry that you have to suffer our stupidity, Wooyoungie.”
Wooyoung just silently nodded in thanks, squeezing Yeosang’s hand tightly.
“Alright”, the manager interjected, “let’s get in everybody.”
Seonghwa sighed and helped Hongjoong up, so they could crawl into the back where the captain immediately rested his aching head against the cool window and clutched a plastic bag in his hands. Without looking at Mingi, Yunho jumped into the last empty seat in the back. When Mingi tried to protest he was shushed: “Go sit in the front with our maknae, Mingi-yah, I know you want to be with him. Besides I already had the privilege of not being a sardine in a box.”
Mingi grinned and thanked him before hopping into the front seat and pulling Jongho to sit next to him. Within minutes of exiting the rest stop, Jongho was asleep on his hyung.
⌛
During the drive he vaguely woke up when the car stopped and the members in the back got out of the van but Mingi guided his head back to his shoulder, whispering that he should go back to sleep, Hongjoong was just sick again, but he needed to rest.
It was early in the morning when they arrived at the filming location. Jongho had slept through the rest of the drive, he was told, through Hongjoong getting sick a few times until they arrived.
They had Hongjoong sit out from the filming for an hour or two, letting him sleep curled up in the middle row of the van with a member occasionally checking on him. But when he woke up, claiming to feel much better, he basically begged the manager to film with them and the manager agreed since he hadn’t thrown up since the drive.
When they returned to their dorms a few days later they found the carton of eggs to toss, which mocked them with a best-before date that was still in the future.
At least they weren’t to blame.