Chapter Text
The Commandant is absolutely, utterly, completely in love with Chrome. He would never dare let such thoughts slip; but sometimes, he'd imagine Chrome in the morning, saying "good morning," in that lovely voice of his. He'd imagine Chrome at night, saying "goodnight." The warmth of his presence, his calming voice, his soft looks. Everything about him the Commandant wanted to consume, and by consuming, to be fulfilled. And then, even if it's just for a little while, all would be well.
In the training room, watching Chrome during simulations, he wishes he could protect him forever. In the bathroom as he brushed his teeth, he wanted Chrome's smile to be the first thing he saw when he woke up in the morning. Chrome's tender touch on his shoulder as he read a book. Chrome's breath right in front of his face as the Construct gazed deep into his eyes and said, "Commandant, I have feelings for you as well." He imagined their first kiss under the stars, Chrome saying, "I love you," and wanting him so badly until their bodies couldn't take it anymore. The Commandant craved love so much he couldn't stop picturing things that could never happen, and whenever it became especially vivid he had to stop and collect himself for several minutes.
No one needs to know about his feelings. They could never understand what drives him. For a Commandant and their Construct, emotions are a luxury they can't afford. What the Commandant feels has no importance - only the mission matters. His comrades deserve nothing less than complete, undivided attention, to his last breath. He could never be satisfied by something temporary or trivial - he wants the whole universe for Chrome, and would gladly become dust for his happiness.
He imagines Chrome loving him back, just once, just a little, even if it won't last very long. One taste is better than nothing at all. If only-
"Commandant? Are you alright?" Chrome says in that voice of his, frowning in worry. "You've been staring at the wall for a while now."
"Um, yeah..." The Commandant's head is in turmoil. "Just lost in thought, that's all... It's nothing to worry about, really."
Chrome was too good. Too good for him. Too precious, too irreplaceable. His mere presence makes the Commandant happy beyond words. A Construct with a loving smile and gentle eyes - there's none other like him.
"You're spacing out again," Chrome looks at him, eyes narrowed. "Commandant, something is obviously troubling you. Don't tell me it's just 'nothing.'"
The Commandant musters a smile. He can't tell the truth, especially not the complicated, embarrassing one. The Commandant prefers a life in silence and obscurity. He doesn't matter anyway. Chrome is all that matters.
"You're thinking," Chrome says . "You're thinking about me."
A jolt of panic lurches through his Commandant. Chrome knows. Chrome understands.
Chrome stares at him for several quiet moments. The Commandant sweats in discomfort. Is this it? Is this where his service will end?
"Just..." Chrome's gaze softens, a hand reaching for his own, "... Please, take care of yourself, as well as everyone here."
The moment their fingers touch, all his fears go away. All his burdens melt away into something else he can't recognize, because Chrome isn't blaming him. Chrome isn't shying away from him. Chrome isn't glaring at him in disgust.
He squeezes his hand. Chrome squeezes back.
Maybe this wasn't as hopeless as he'd imagined.