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"Shh, shh, shh," Jarvis said soothingly as he rocked the cradle back and forth with one hand and dialed the phone with his other. "Oh, please stop crying!"
The one month old did not heed his plea and continued to wail.
He finally spun the rotary dial to the final digit and waved a pacifier encouragingly in front of the baby's mouth.
After only two rings, someone picked up. "Hello?"
"Come on. Take the binkie!" Jarvis cooed.
"Look, I don't know how you got this number," the voice on the other end of the line sounded annoyed, "but this is a government agency, and-"
"Miss Carter, wait!" Jarvis interrupted.
"Mr. Jarvis?" Peggy sounded pleasantly surprised to be hearing from him. "It's been ages!" Her tone switched to concern. "Is everything alright?" She paused. "What's that noise?"
"Oh, no, no, everything's fine!" The baby swatted the pacifier out of Jarvis' hand and screamed even louder. "Excuse me!" Jarvis scolded. "That was very rude!"
"Pardon?"
"Oh, my apologies, that wasn't directed at you." Jarvis moved as far away from the infant as the phone cord would allow. "Listen, I've found myself in a bit of a situation, and I was hoping you might be able to provide some assistance."
"A situation? I thought you said everything was alright?”
“Er, well...” Jarvis fumbled. “I mean, it is, more or less.”
“More or less?”
Jarvis threw a a desperate glance in the direction of the child. “Look, I'd much prefer to explain in person...”
“Very well. I'll be there as soon as I can.”
"Thank you, Miss Carter." Jarvis hung up the phone and turned back to the baby. He picked up a stuffed dog toy and attempted to use it to distract the whining child. "Woof! Woof!"
---
“Mr. Jarvis?”
“Yes, Miss Carter?”
“What is that?” Peggy gestured to the small, screaming bundle in Jarvis' arms.
“Ah, that would be the newest Master Stark.”
“I see. And Mr. Jarvis?”
“Yes, Miss Carter?”
“Why on earth is it making that awful racket?”
“I... I don't quite know, Miss Carter.”
“Of course. And one more thing, Mr. Jarvis?”
“Yes, Miss Carter?”
“Did you, by chance, call me all the way out here to help you babysit an infant?”
Jarvis pursed his lips together guiltily. “...Perhaps?”
Peggy threw her arms up in the air. “Jarvis!”
“I know, I know, and I'm really sorry, but the nanny's come down with a case of the flu and I thought I could handle it, since I've been looking after Howard all these years!”
Peggy fixed him with a stern look. “Jarvis, taking care of a man who acts like a child and taking care of an actual child are two entirely different things!”
“Yes, that's what I'm trying to say!” Jarvis cried desperately. “I have no idea what I'm doing!”
“What, and you think I do?”
“Well, I figured this was more your area of expertise!”
Peggy tilted her chin down and gave Jarvis a look that made him still. “And how, exactly, is this my area of expertise.
“Well, you know, it's sort of a...” Jarvis floundered.
Peggy crossed her arms.
“What I mean to say is, you're a...”
Peggy's left eyebrow rose.
“That is, typically this sort of thing...”
The right eyebrow joined the left.
“...Please help me?” Jarvis pleaded weakly.
Peggy sighed through her nose and uncrossed her arms. “Alright, fine,” she said, looking towards the ceiling in exasperation. “But not because you used your puppy eyes.”
Jarvis scoffed in offense. “Miss Carter, I don't do puppy eyes!”
Peggy ignored him and pointed a finger at his face. “It might work on your wife, but not on me. I'm doing this so that poor child doesn't end up in the custody of child protective services, do you understand me?”
“Now, Miss Carter, don't you think you're being a little overdramat-”
“I said do you understand me?” Peggy demanded.
Jarvis snapped his mouth shut. “...Yes.”
Peggy held out her hands. “Alright, hand him over.”
Jarvis passed the baby to her.
“Hello, Anthony!” Peggy cooed once the baby was secure in her arms.
Jarvis smiled. “Ah, so you got the baby announcement Mr. Stark sent out. Marvelous!”
“It fired confetti and played music,” Peggy said dryly. “Rather hard to miss. Anyway, he's crying because he's wet.”
Peggy crossed the room to the changing table with Jarvis hovering close behind. Gently laying the baby down, she looked around at the supplies on the table.
“Alright, so we'll need this,” she grabbed a fresh cloth diaper, “and these,” she grabbed some safety pins, “and this... I think,” she grabbed the baby powder.
“Miss Carter, are you sure you know what you're doing?”
“Yes, Jarvis, of course I do,” Peggy said, sounding frustrated.
She unpinned the diaper and threw it into the wastebasket.
“I think those are meant to be reused,” Jarvis said.
“Do you want my help or not?” Peggy asked, as she tried to lift the baby's legs and maneuver the clean cloth under him at the same time.
“Yes, of course, my apologies.”
Peggy wrapped the cloth around the infant's legs and began to pin it together.
“Actually,” Jarvis reached his hands forward, “I think you're supposed to fold it over here and-”
“I defused a bomb in my bathroom, I think I can handle a simple nappy!”
“Yes, you're certainly right.” Jarvis pulled his hands back and held them up in surrender. “I shall endeavor to stay out of your way.”
“Thank you!” Peggy put the last pin in and paused to admire her handiwork.
“...I don't think that's what it looked like before.”
Peggy whirled around to face him. “Mr. Jarvis, may I use the phone downstairs?”
“What, right now?” Jarvis pointed to the phone he had used to call her earlier. “You're welcome to use that one.”
“Oh, no, thank you,” Peggy said as she walked out of the room. “I just remembered an urgent, top-secret matter I need to attend to, I'll only be a minute.”
Jarvis looked back and forth between the door that Peggy had just left through and the wailing baby on the changing table. “Oh, dear.” He moved toward the table and began trying to adjust the cloth so that it was more secure.
He struggled for several minutes before Peggy returned and shooed him away. In a matter of second she had the diaper all fixed up and secure.
“There we go,” she said,“Good as new!”
Jarvis narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Who did you call?”
“No one!” Peggy said, with a tight smile stretched across her face. She picked up the baby. “There you go! Isn't that much better?”
“...Miss Carter?”
“...Yes, Mr Jarvis?”
“...He's still crying.”
Peggy gritted her teeth. “...Yes, Mr. Jarvis, I had noticed, thank you.”
---
Half an hour later, as Peggy paced the room rocking the still crying child in a desperate attempt to soothe him, someone knocked on the front door.
“I'll get it!” Jarvis declared, glad to have an excuse to leave the room.
“No, Jarvis, don't you da-” Peggy tried to stop him, but Jarvis had already rushed out of the room.
He made his way downstairs and to the front door and paused to smooth out his disheveled appearance before he opened it.
“...Agent Sousa?”
Daniel gave him a friendly smile. “Mr. Jarvis! May I come in?”
“Yes, yes, of course!” Jarvis stepped aside. “I'm sorry, I don't mean to seem impertinent, but why are you here?”
“Peggy called me.” Daniel walked inside and Jarvis shut the door behind him. The crying from upstairs was getting louder, and Jarvis could only assume Peggy was on her way to meet them.
“Miss-” Jarvis blinked. “Miss Carter did?”
“Yeah, she-”
“Daniel!” Peggy made her way downstairs, the baby still in her arms. “You didn't have to come all the way over here.”
Daniel chuckled. “You sounded pretty frazzled on the phone, I thought I should stop by and make sure everything was okay.”
“Oh, well, that's very kind of you, but quite unnecessary.” Peggy said with a tired smile.
“Oh, yes,” Jarvis agreed nodding. “We've got everything under control.”
Daniel suppressed an amused smile. “May I?” he asked, stepping forward to take the baby.
With a defeated sigh, Peggy passed the child over. Daniel cradled him gently in one arm and smiled warmly, even as the baby continued to scream and squirm in his grip.
“We've tried everything,” Peggy said as she began to list on her fingers, “We changed him, we rocked him, we tried to put him down to a nap...”
“Did you feed him?” Daniel asked, not taking his eyes off the baby.
Peggy and Jarvis shared an awkward glance.
“Er, no,” Peggy admitted.
“Well, he's probably hungry,” Daniel said.
“...Maria left some bottles of breast milk in the refrigerator,” Jarvis said, as he began to lead the way to the kitchen. Peggy and Daniel followed him. Opening the fridge, Jarvis pulled out a bottle and offered it to Daniel.
Daniel shook his head. “You can't give it to him like that, you have to warm it up first. Here.” Daniel passed the baby back to Jarvis and took the bottle. It took several minutes, but Daniel soon had the bottle ready. He led Jarvis into the living room and sat him down on the couch before adjusting the baby in his arms. “Alright, you want to hold the baby like this, and the bottle like this.” Daniel offered the bottle to the baby and the noise soon stopped as he began happily suckling away.
Tentatively, Jarvis took the bottle. “Thank you,” he said, as Daniel stood up.
Peggy smiled gratefully. “Yes, Daniel, thank you.”
Daniel smiled. “Anytime. Honestly, it's kind of a relief to see that you don't know how to do everything.”
Peggy laughed. “Yes, well, it is a but humbling, I must admit. Although, I'm afraid now I must get back to S.H.I.E.L.D. I've got a never-ending pile of paperwork I must get back to. It was good to see you, Jarvis.”
Jarvis didn't respond, his gaze was transfixed on the small child in his arms.
“Jarvis?” Peggy tried again.
Jarvis blinked and tore his eyes away from the baby. “Pardon?”
Peggy looked concerned. “You alright?”
“Yes, I-” Jarvis looked back down at the baby. “You know, Anna and I had always discussed having children, but, well...” Jarvis trailed off. “He looks so peaceful now, doesn't he? So vulnerable?”
Peggy and Daniel shared a smile.
Jarvis cleared his throat. “I'm sorry, I'm afraid I've taken enough of your time. Thank you both, so very much.”
“Happy to help,” Daniel said. “Don't forget to burp him when he's finished.”
Jarvis nodded. “Yes, thank you.”
Daniel turned to leave.
“I'll see you back at the office, Daniel,” Peggy called after him.
“Aye-aye, Chief!” Daniel called over his shoulder.
Peggy sat down on the couch next to Jarvis. “Are you sure you've got everything from here?”
Jarvis nodded. “I'm sorry to have called you away from work.”
Peggy smiled. “Think nothing of it. It's been to long since we've seen each other. We should have dinner with Anna sometime soon!”
Jarvis smiled as Peggy stood. “I look forward to it.”
---
Later that afternoon, Howard and Maria returned home to find Jarvis upstairs in the nursery, fast asleep in the rocking chair with baby Anthony curled up in his arms.
Maria gently took the sleeping infant and Jarvis stirred.
"Hello, Mr Jarvis," Maria said, smiling down at her son. "I hope he didn't give you too much trouble."
Jarvis chuckled. "Not at all." He smiled thoughtfully. "He was perfect."