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But that’s fine, just if you’d get broken by sorrow and disappear

Summary:

Weirdly, Shouto’s scar started to itch, and without thinking, he started to scratch at it. He didn’t notice he was even doing it until the stranger copied his movements and scratched at the mask.

It confused Shouto even more. The person was delaying the things Shouto did, as if he weren’t actually a reflection and more like a window.

Shouto blinks, and the person is gone.

Instead, he sees himself again, his eyes widened when he saw the blood seeping from his scar. He quickly bandaged himself and cleaned up, but he could still feel the blood and skin under his nails.

———

No knowledge needed for pjsk

Notes:

This is not really a crossover between mha and pjsk, but it kind of is. It’s confusing a bit until you read it.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Yay! I’m so excited!” Uraraka squealed. Shouto mentally smiled at her antics, already knowing how much she loved to shop. He along with the entire Dekusquad went out to hang out.

 

Uraraka was talking with Asui and Deku while Iida was simply listening. It was really weird to Shouto how differently everyone was outside of school, yet still keeping their unique personalities that made them who they are.

 

Something that Shouto was envious about.

 

He often wondered if he even belonged here. He was different. Shouto didn’t have a specific personality or a unique trait that was praised for, except for his quirks.

 

He wanted to have something, anything that was different and unique that was only special to him, and wasn’t a reminder of something horrible that happened.

 

His scar, for example. It basically screams Shouto Todoroki, but it also screams from pain in the memory of boiling water and his mother.

 

His hair? Well, both sides are just a copy from someone else, and Shouto couldn’t help but feel happy that his mother burned his left side instead of his right.

 

He could say that his personality was unique, and it was. But nobody praised him for it. He was often seen as cocky and arrogant because he didn’t talk much to anyone. He was quiet and reserved, and people don’t like that.

 

So he had nothing. All people knew of him was that he was the son of a hero and had an ego.

 

But it was fine. Because in the end, he will refuse to burn up in flames like his brother did. He’d much rather die of frostbite or hypothermia than whatever the hell his brother went through.

 

Shouto was pulled out of his thoughts when Deku tapped on his shoulder. He blinked and shook his head.

 

Deku gave him an awkward smile. “Uh, Todoroki, did you want to come with Uraraka to get your fortune told?” He asked, pointing to Uraraka and Asui walking towards some shop that was titled “Fortuna”.

 

Shouto shrugged, deciding that it wouldn’t hurt to try something new for a change. “Sure. I’ll go.” Deku nodded and the two walked together to where Uraraka and Asui were talking to Iida in front of the store.

 

The group walked in and were greeted by the stereotypical fortune teller stuff that one would expect to see. The woman that was at the front smiled at them. She was the only one that didn’t look very stereotypical.

 

She talked to Uraraka and Deku, asking them for their fingerprints and such. It was odd to Shouto, but he figured it was just the norm.

 

Uraraka went first, putting her fingerprints on a small piece of paper and throwing it into the fire. The flames turned pink and the paper burned up, disappearing. Uraraka was confused until the flames spitted the paper back out and the woman caught it.

 

Shouto watched as she handed the paper to Uraraka, who’s expression turned even more confused. “Huh? What does-“

 

The woman shushed her by putting a finger to her lips. “You can’t let anyone know.”

 

Uraraka smiled sheepishly. “Oops, sorry.”

 

Next was Deku’s turn, and he repeated the exact steps that Uraraka did, watching in awe as the fire cackled in a deep shade of green. He was smiling when he read his piece of paper.

 

Asui went next, her fire turning white, but Iida decided not to do it. Shouto contemplated whether he should try it or not, but in the end, he figured it wouldn’t hurt to try.

 

So he threw the small piece of paper into the fire. He watched with interest as the flames roared in a blue color. It wasn’t something he expected, but it wasn’t really important.

 

The woman grabbed the paper and handed it back to Shouto. It wasn’t hot at all, in fact it was oddly cold to the touch. He frowned when he read the two words on the pale paper.

 

Alter Ego

 

Alter ego? What does that mean?

 

“Thank you ma’am.” Iida politely said, bowing to the woman in his gratitude despite not participating in the fortune telling.

 

They left the store and the rest was a blur.

 


 

Shouto stared up at the ceiling, feeling emptier than ever. His alarm clock hadn’t gone off yet, and it still wouldn’t go off for another hour, but Shouto decided to get up anyways.

 

He enters the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it behind him. He didn’t know how long it was, but he stared at the mirror for a while. He shook his head, pulling himself out of his trance.

 

He brushed his teeth, spitting out and washing out his mouth. It didn’t do anything though. The taste of blood and burnt skin stayed and he wanted nothing more than it to go away.

 

Shouto rinsed his face, staring down at the sink. He felt oddly empty and hollow, almost like a doll.

 

He looked up, and he almost stumbled back in surprise. Shouto’s eyes widened in shock at the alter stranger in the mirror.

 

Staring back, was another person. They wore a mask with two black circles for eyes and a creepy big sharp toothed smile. They wore a dirty dress shirt that had some odd black substance stained on the shoulders and collarbone area.

 

The person had two different colored hair, like Shouto did, except the left was a dusty light blue and the right was a dark navy blue.

 

Shouto stepped back, activating his fire quirk and shivee his left hand towards the mirror to show that he was not afraid to attack. “Who are you?” He demanded, leaving no fear in his voice.

 

But it was as if the person could see right through him. They only stared at Shouto, tilting their head in a mocking gesture. “Your fire is too cold to burn me.” The stranger spoke back, their voice sounded almost exactly like his, but something was off. It caught Shouto off guard.

 

The person mimicked him, his(?) fire blue instead of red.

 

Suddenly, there was smoke filling up the bathroom and Shouto coughed out, squeezing his eyes closed and stepping back. When he opened his eyes, the smoke was gone and the person had disappeared.

 

To say Shouto was confused would be an understatement, and for a second, he wondered if this was his father’s going. Well, it didn’t matter. At the thought of his dad, he hurried himself to get ready and ran out the house.

 

He did not want to see his dad and he did not want to see that stranger again.

 

. . .

 

He entered the school a bit early, the strange event still replaying in his mind like some record. He was still thinking about it when he walked to the classroom. He tried to open the door, but it didn’t budge.

 

Locked.

 

He checked the time, realizing it was too early to even enter. Shouto sighed in defeat and decided to just wait.

 

After about thirty minutes, Iida showed up. Of course he did, it wasn’t that much of a surprise.

 

Though it seemed that Iida was also surprised to see Shouto. “Ah, hello Todoroki. I didn’t expect to see you here so early.”

 

Shouto only nodded in response. “This is only a one-time thing. Though I will say that I’m not too surprised to see you here this early.”

 

Iida laughed sheepishly, knowing that he was always early. “I guess. Anyways, let me unlock the classroom.” He pulled out the keys and opened the door.

 

Shouto raised an eyebrow at this. “Why do you have keys for the classroom?”

 

Iida scratched the back of his head. “Oh, that’s because Sensei trusts me enough to give me the keys, especially because I’m the Class President and I’m always early and he’s usually late…”

 

Iida kept talking, and Shouto accidentally tuned out. He really did want to hear what Iida was saying, but he couldn’t really help but space out. The two walked into the classroom together to wait for the rest of 1A.

 

. . .

 

As time went on, more and more students filled the class and the day went on as usual. Their next class was gonna be with All Might.

 

Shouto walked in the locker room as always, changing into his costume like he usually did. Everything was the same as ever.

 

All Might announced that the class was gonna spar each other while focusing on the things they needed to work on.

 

Shouto already knew what he had to focus on. He couldn’t control his quirks at the same time without losing control. He wanted to learn how to manipulate his fire while also creating ice.

 

All Might put all their names into a box and pulled out randomly. But randomness doesn’t exist and Fortuna really liked to make him suffer. Like now.

 

“…Uraraka and Sero, you two are sparring. And next will be Bakugo and Todoroki…” he kept going on, yelling out more names, but Shouto didn’t really care at the moment.

 

He was exhausted and tired, completely worn out and confused from earlier that morning and wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep. Or cry. Or just disappear in general.

 

But no, he just had to get paired with the most competitive and hot-headed person in the entire world, probably. He was not in the mood.

 

Bakugo was stretching and cracking his knuckles like some stereotypical highschool bully. It was a bit comical to Shouto, but he was in no mood to laugh.

 

But he knew that he had to deal with it and endure for the rest of the class period.

 

The fight started and Bakugo wasted no time in attacking. Shouto, on a normal day, would’ve defended himself with no hesitation, but today was not a normal day and Shouto was already exhausted enough.

 

Shouto luckily still managed to dodge though, which was good enough for him.

 

Bakugo kept throwing punches at Shouto while yelling out “Die! Die! Die!” And Shouto kept dodging, making no attempt on learning how to control both quirks at once.

 

Bakugo did not like that. He sneered at Shouto, shooting him a dirty look. “You damn Icyhot, use your goddamn fire already!”

 

Maybe it was because Shouto was in a horrible mood, or it was some outside force, but he decided to make the choice of listening to Bakugo and used his fire.

 

Using his fire was a typical thing for him now that Deku had saved him at the Sports Festival, but today was different. Something was off. It was his usual fire, but it wasn’t. It was an alter version of what he was unfamiliar with.

 

Shouto’s flames roared out of control, the bloody red shapeshifting into a harsh cold blue, the color blooming deep in its heat. Shouto stumbled back and fell to the ground, and he tried to stop it.

 

But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. It wasn’t in his control anymore and it erupted from his left side, but it was too hot. It was too hot and it was too much all at the same time and it burned.

 

He screamed out in pain as his own fire burned him, he heard voices yelling out but he couldn’t focus on anything other than the pain.

 

It wasn’t hot, surprisingly. In fact, it was rather cold. Too cold. So cold that it was confusing his nervous system and appearing to feel incredibly hot but Shouto couldn’t feel anything but cold cold cold.

 

It was cold, and he never knew coldness could burn so hot like this.

 

Suddenly, it just turned off. The colors of blue vanished but the pain resided.

 

He passed out.

 

. . .

 

Shouto woke up in the Nurse’s Office where Recovery Girl was standing next to his bed.

 

“Did you have a nice nap?” She asked, and for a second he was confused, but the memories of his fire came back and he sighed. “I guess.”

 

She nodded. “I’m gonna give you a kiss now, okay?”

 

He closed his eyes and hummed in acknowledgment. She kissed his forehead and his left side felt better. Not completely, but the pain became more bearable.

 

She pulled back as Shouto slumped in a sudden wave of exhaustion. “Now all you need to do is rest, alright? And next time don’t push yourself too hard.” Shouto nodded and watched as she left.

 

It was confusing. He never pushed himself, he just activated his quirk.

 

He thought back to the stranger in the mirror, who had blue fire and Shouto automatically knew that there was some kind of connection. But how? They were two completely different people, you can’t just give someone your quirk.

 

You can’t.

 


 

Shouto dreaded going home. His day was bad enough as it was, he did not need his father adding to it.

 

He entered the house and there his father was, looking the same as ever. He wore the same expression and held the same horrible smell of fire.

 

Shouto hated it. He hated him.

 

“Shouto. I expect to see you in the training room in ten minutes, you understand?”

 

Shouto nodded and watched as his father left the space. He let out a sigh.

 

Ten minutes passed and he dragged his feet to the training room, feeling nothing but dread, fear and exhaustion.

 

In the room, his father stood tall, towering over him like a storm and staring him down. “Good, you’re here. Let’s get started.”

 

Just like that, Shouto found himself back in beat with the spar. Although he hated it, it was just something he was used to, something he was familiar with.

 

He still hated it though.

 

He hated it more than anything.

 

“Damn it, Shouto, use your fire! I’m in no mood to tolerate your rebellious phase!” His father yelled, punching him square in the stomach. Shouto dropped to the ground on his knees and clutched tightly at his stomach.

 

He spat out some blood, but his father didn’t give a fuck. “Don’t show any weakness! You’d be dead by now if I were a villain!” Enji yelled before kicking Shouto back towards the wall.

 

Shouto was terrified. He didn’t want to use his fire quirk. He did not want a repeat of what happened during class. What if his fire turned blue again and burned him? There would be no one to save him.

 

Enji’s face turned red from fury and he stomped over to where Shouto laid limp. “I said use your fire!”

 

Time was a blur, and Shouto thought that he might as well have used his quirk since all he felt was pain. His father decided that beating sense into him would make him listen, but Shouto would much rather have bruises than burns.

 

After a while, his father left, though it was only after he left thousands of bruises on his body. His body hurt like hell and he knew he wouldn’t be able to move for a while.

 

After what felt like years (it was probably only a couple of hours), he forced himself to stand up. Shouto dragged himself to the bathroom to clean up his face and all the bleeding. He was surprised he hadn’t bled out by now.

 

He treated his wounds, and when he looked in the mirror, he saw the stranger again. But this time, Shouto didn’t give a fuck. He just wanted to go to bed and rest after that beating.

 

Fortunately, the person didn’t speak or do anything other than do what a reflection does. He mimicked Shouto, doing everything that he did. Shouto finally finished, and he glanced at the mirror.

 

The stranger was still there, as if he was waiting.

 

Shouto stared at him, too tired to speak. His vocal chords hurt from all the screaming he had done.

 

One second.

 

Two seconds..

 

Three seconds…

 

Weirdly, Shouto’s scar started to itch, and without thinking, he started to scratch at it. He didn’t notice he was even doing it until the stranger copied his movements and scratched at the mask.

 

It confused Shouto even more. The person was delaying the things Shouto did, as if he weren’t actually a reflection and more like a window.

 

Shouto blinks, and the person is gone.

 

Instead, he sees himself again, his eyes widened when he saw the blood seeping from his scar. He quickly bandaged himself and cleaned up, but he could still feel the blood and skin under his nails.

 

. . .

 

The next day, Shouto woke up late, which meant that he had to train with his father again.

 

And you already know how that went.

 

He refused to use his fire again, and he got another beating.

 

He cleaned himself up and headed to school, like normal. When he got to the classroom, there were only a few students in there, which meant it was mostly quiet. Which was a good thing since on the way to UA, he had composed himself a headache.

 

He sat down in his chair and almost winced from the pain. His leg was still hurt from the burns and hadn’t healed yet, especially since his father made it worse by hitting him.

 

But he endured, like he always did. Throughout the entire period, he ignored the way Aizawa glanced at him in concern, and he pretended not to notice Deku’s worried eyes.

 

But he didn’t see Bakugo’s side glances.

 

The next period was with All Might again. He walked into the lockers and changed like he always did. Everything was the same.

 

Not today though.

 

Bakugo stopped him from leaving. “What the hell was that yesterday, Icyhot??” He demanded, his voice as rough as ever. Shouto sighed, not wanting to explain to Bakugo what he himself doesn’t even know.

 

“Well??”

 

Shouto stared off, deciding he didn’t want to start an argument with the blonde, but alas, Fortuna loved to watch him suffer.

 

Bakugo kept demanding answers from him, but he refused to say anything, which made Bakugo even angrier.

 

They argued back and forth, and Shouto didn’t really know why, but he started scratching at his scar.

 

Finally, Iida breaks them up and Shouto watches as Bakugo leaves angrily. Now he was even more upset.

 

Class started as usual except this time Bakugo was glaring daggers at Shouto. “You will all have a different partner today!” All Might yelled out. He was loud. He was always loud, and Shouto didn’t really understand why.

 

This time, Shouto was paired up with Kirishima, who was another competitive person but Shouto knew he was much more chill. It was a relief.

 

The fight starts and they get to sparring. Shouto had already made the decision to not use his fire and only used his right side.

 

It went much better than yesterday. The only problem? His ice wasn’t obeying him. And it’s not like it was going out of control, it was more like it wasn’t obeying him.

 

It was awfully frustrating, and he felt his calm demeanor slowly crumble away as irritation grew in to replace his usual cold ego. Kirishima was currently winning. That in itself isn’t a big deal to Shouto.

 

In his frustration, Shouto scratched at his scar even more harsher than when he was in the locker room with Bakugo. It was bleeding, but he barely noticed.

 

Until it really started to burn. It seemed that Kirishima had noticed, and he slowed down. “Hey, you okay dude?” He asked, stopping his attacks, which Shouto was grateful for beyond relief.

 

But it didn’t last long.

 

Because all of a sudden, Shouto sent out an incredibly powerful blast of ice. Luckily, it missed everyone and only hit the place that was isolated and devoid of any person.

 

But it wasn’t his ice. It came from his right side, but it felt different. It was unfamiliar. Instead of its usual pale blue color, it was a dark blackish blue.

 

He got frostbite all over his arms and legs and just his entire right side in general. It burned. A lot. It felt too much like yesterday but at the same time it didn’t.

 

He went to Recovery Girl’s office again, except this time he didn’t pass out, luckily. He sat on a bed, a curtain separating his space from another. But behind the curtain, he could see the silhouette of another person.

 

He already knew who it was.

 

“What do you want from me.” Shouto said, deciding to bluff and held out his right hand in the gesture of offense. In truth, he was much too tired to even hold it up for too long.

 

This time, the stranger doesn’t mimic him.

 

“Your ice is too hot to freeze me.” Was all he said before he disappeared.

 

Shouto was left there alone, completely stunned. That was the exact moment Recovery Girl decided to walk in. “Hello again Todoroki.” She said.

 

Shoto knew that twice in a row was not making him look good, but he didn’t really care about saving face.

 

She looked at his scar, staring for a long while before sighing. “Why have you been scratching your scar?”

 

Shouto was unable to respond. He himself didn’t know why, it just… started.

 

She did the usual and sent him home.

 

When he entered the house, his father was gone, thankfully. His sister was home though, which was a bonus.

 

She smiled at him. “Hey Shouto, are you okay?” It was as if she could see through his eyes and just knew that something wasn’t right. But he refused to let her get involved.

 

“I’m okay, Fuyumi.” His response was short and straightforward, the lie slipping easily past his lips as he walked past her and into the bathroom. He ignored the way she frowned and gave him a worried glance.

 

He stared at the mirror, wanting to see the person again and finally confront him. It had only been what, not even two days since he appeared and Shouto was already done with his bullshit.

 

He wanted nothing more than to just stop everything and fucking sleep, or rest, or to just disappear.

 

It would be nice.

 

But the stranger didn’t appear, and it left Shouto feeling oddly frustrated. In his anger, he threw a fist at the mirror, the glass shattering into a thousand shards. His fist was bleeding badly. But the person still did not appear.

 

He heard his sister call, but he ignored her, feeling even more upset and irritated. And so once again, he began clawing at his scar.

 

His sister opened the door, gasping in horror at the shattered mirror and the blood spattered everywhere. “Shouto! Oh my god.” She grabbed onto Shouto’s shoulders and steered him away from the broken glass.

 

“You… you need to go to the hospital!” She said, pulling out her phone to call an ambulance. Shouto remained silent the entire time, allowing Fuyumi to steer him around.

 

He didn’t care anymore.

 

. . .

 

He was resting in the hospital, finally able to sleep after what felt like years of constantly working and training and hurting. Shouto was relieved to be closing his eyes and napping, even if it wasn’t in the best of circumstances.

 

It was bliss, and he was so content, until his father walked in. It turned the entire mood into a downright nightmare. “What happened.” His father demanded. He wasn’t wearing his flames, but Shouto knew that it wouldn’t have made any difference.

 

Either way, the smell of smoke and the taste of blood resided in his mind without a single shed of mercy or remorse, and he felt like he might have suffocated if it weren’t for the fact that it was all in his head.

 

But was it really?

 

His father stepped closer, his entire form towering over Shouto as if he were some piece of flesh or meat for a butcher. “I said, what happened. You will tell me right now or I will-“

 

“You’ll what?” Shouto sneered, his patience finally running thinner than ice. “You’ll hit me? You’ll beat me until I pass out? You’ll lock me up and isolate me again? You’ve done these things already, and you’d do it anyways.”

 

His father turned red from anger. “How dare you talk back to me? I am your father, and you will respect me!”

 

Shouto knew that he was crying, he knew that everything he’d felt for years had broken out from its dam and he couldn’t do anything to stop. He didn’t want to stop it. He just wanted his father to get the fuck out and let him rest.

 

“You’re the shittiest dad ever! I don’t have to respect someone who fucking abused his own children!” Shouto yelled, his voice slightly cracking.

 

Enji came closer, his footsteps loud and angry and his face red with an undoubtful fit of fury. “I gave you everything you needed! I fed you, kept you clothed, gave you shelter, and you dare to disrespect me like this?!” He grabbed a fistful of Shouto’s hair and pulled.

 

Shouto cried out, the pain clearly evident in his voice.

 

“Why can’t you just be perfect?! Why are you like this?? You’re supposed to be a masterpiece, not a fucking child.” He hollered, harshly letting go of Shouto’s hair and storming towards the door.

 

“You’re insane, just like your mother. I expect you to be in top shape tomorrow.” And with those words, he left, slamming the door shut.

 

.

.

.

 

Something was off.

 

Shouto finally noticed the poor nurse who was petrified in place. He felt really bad for her, and for a second, a surge of fear spread through his body like a wildfire.

 

She saw everything.

 

She heard everything.

 

Shouto was seconds away from panicking, when he realized…

 

He didn’t give a fuck. She could tell the whole world and he wouldn’t care. The whole public media would turn against his father and Shouto could only care less.

 

It was as if time stopped. The poor nurse stared at the door before looking at him, an expression of pity and sorrow painted all over her face.

 

She walked towards him. “Are you okay?” She asked, sounding as if she was almost afraid of the answer, but she probably already knew.

 

“…”

 

He didn’t know what was going through his mind. Maybe it was because he was just so done with everything and wanted nothing more than to rest, or if it was because he truly was insane.

 

“I want to kill myself.”

 

The words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them. He watched as her face paled and her eyes widened. It was true. He really did want to kill himself. He really was insane.

 

Just like his mother.

 

His mind wasn’t in control of his body anymore, he couldn’t calm himself down. It was never this hard, but for some reason, he felt like he was suffocating. Behind the nurse, there was a small mirror.

 

A mirror.

 

He didn’t see himself.

 

It was the stranger.

 

It was some alter ego of himself, but he never felt so… so…

 

Understood before. It was weird. The person who was always in the mirror made Shouto feel like he was seen. And it had only been what, two? Three? Days of his appearing? It was odd, at best.

 

But Shouto found that he didn’t really care.

 

Despite his hands and his entire left side being wrapped up in bandages, he pushed himself out of the hospital bed. The nurse tried to keep him down, but she ultimately failed.

 

Shouto pushed her away before opening the window. His hands hurt like hell, but he was used to the feeling of pain. He could endure it. He tried to push open the window, but the nurse stopped him.

 

She held onto him, calling for help as he squirmed and struggled in her grasp. She knew what he was trying to do.

 

He freaked out, flailing his limbs everywhere. He kicked and screamed and tried to push her off, but she held on tight, dragging his body away from the window.

 

He was sobbing hysterically now, which is not something he ever did. When he cried, it would be silent and hidden away from others. Because no one had to know that this doll had emotions.

 

It was just easier to pretend that he was alright. That’s what he always does. Pretend and fake every little piece of imperfection into something that no one would hate. Like a phony.

 

He was a phony.

 

Shouto cried as more people entered the room. Hands were holding him down and he struggled to get out of their grasp. Suddenly everything was too much and he thought he might just die. It was too overwhelming and the voices kept ringing in his head.

 

He wanted to go home.

 

But he didn’t have a home, only a house.

 

In that house, lived strangers, not a family.

 

Was that who he saw in the mirror? The person who looked and sounded like him but wasn’t him? Was it some alter ego? Someone who is made from everything Shouto felt inside and he was just hallucinating?

 

Or was it something else?

 

Everything was starting to blur, his head hurt and his vision went dark. Anywhere he looked was fuzzy and the tears only continued falling. He hated this. He absolutely hated this. There were hands on him, keeping him from moving. There were voices yelling and panicking.

 

It was too hot, but he was freezing cold.

 

Time smeared and when he woke up, Shouto was strapped to the bed like some horror movie and had a tube attached to his arm, feeding him something.

 

He tried to move, but he was too weak to fight against the straps that had constricted him.

 

He wants to die.

 

Shouto

 

He

 

Wants

 

Is

 

To die

 

Dead

 

Shouto glances out the window, where the sky was dark and completely devoid of any stars. It made him feel an odd sense of confinement.

 

He laid there for what felt like hours, even though the clock had only ticked for thirty minutes. He really wanted to leave. How could he be so stupid?? What the hell was even going on in his brain?

 

Shouto felt absolutely hopeless and idiotic. He had just admitted to a whole other person of his thoughts of death and then tried to jump out of a window. Couldn’t he have just waited until he was alone??

 

He sighed. He could try again right now. No one was here to stop him from using his quirk.

 

With that thought, Shouto tried to use his ice, but he found nothing.

 

He tried again, but nothing worked.

 

He tried once more, but his quirk was gone.

 

“What?” He breathed out, panic starting to override his system.

 

“Those restraints are made of a quirk-resistant material.” A sudden voice caught Shouto off guard and it may or may not have frightened him.

 

Shouto looked around the room, but there was no one there. It was all empty.

 

Suddenly, his eyes landed on that mirror he had seen earlier when the nurse was present. He stared at the reflection, undoubtedly recognizing the person who stared back.

 

His alter ego.

 

He sighed, relocating his eyes to look up at the ceiling instead of the masked figure.

 

“Who are you?”

 

No response.

 

Shouto closed his eyes, relaxing his muscles and simply resting, like he’d always wanted.

 

“Who are you?” He asked once again.

 

This time, the stranger did respond. “I am you.”

 

I am you

 

Shouto shook his head. “That can’t be. You don’t look the exact same or sound the same. You’re not me.”

 

The stranger titled their head. “No.” Was all he said back, which made Shouto scrunch his eyebrows in confusion.

 

“What do you mean ‘no’? You’re not me at all!” He was growing more and more upset.

 

The stranger put a hand to his mask. “No. You are not me.” He said before disappearing.

 

Shouto grumbled angrily, his mouth dried. It still tasted of smoke and ash. He wished that just for once, it’d taste like snow.

 

“I’m not crazy…” He mumbled under his breath, more tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He hated this. He hated crying. Why was he crying so much now? Nothing seriously bad even happened. Only the norm. What the hell is wrong with him?

 

You’re crazy

 

The stranger’s words rang out around his head. He stole a glance at the mirror only to see himself, no alter version of him.

 

“I’m not crazy.” He repeated.

 

“I’m not crazy!” Shouto spoke the words again like it was a mantra. He was not crazy. He’s not crazy, he’s never been crazy.

 

Shouto

 

She

 

Was

 

Went

 

Not insane

 

Insane

 

“I’m not insane… I’m not… insane…” The tears were falling freely down his cheeks but not as intense as before.

 

“I know, kid.” The voice scared Shouto out of his trance. From the corner of the room, Aizawa was sitting down as if he had been there the entire time.

 

“Sensei? What are you doing here?” Shouto asked in bewilderment.

 

Aizawa sighed and stood up, walking closer to his bed. “The hospital called me for you.”

 

Shouto blinked in confusion. “What?”

 

“I was called instead of your guardian, because he was being suspected of child abuse as well as other things. So they called me instead since UA has a partial guardian over the students.” Aizawa stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

He shook his head before sighing. “Listen kid, I know something is happening. Tell me exactly what’s going on.”

 

Shouto looked away.

 

Aizawa mumbled something under his breath. “Look, Todoroki-“

 

“Shouto.”

 

Aizawa stared at him. “What?”

 

Shouto closed his eyes. “Don’t call me Todoroki.”

 

The pro hero nodded his head in understanding. “Alright then, Shouto, I need to know exactly why this is happening. Because I know something is going on, especially with the way you were talking to yourself.”

 

Shouto’s eyes widened in shock. “I wasn’t talking to myself.” He whispered.

 

“Then who were you talking to just a few moments ago? Because I know for a fact that it was not me.”

 

“…You were here the whole time?” Shouto barely uttered out, fear laced in his voice and dripping like venom.

 

Aizawa nodded. “I was.”

 

Shouto frowned, but decided to talk. “For the past few days, there was this person that I kept seeing in my reflection. He wasn’t me, it was someone else.”

 

Aizawa kept silent, making a gesture for ‘keep going’.

 

“…He also had two different colored hair, his left was light blue and his right was dark blue. I didn’t get to see his face though, because he was always wearing this creepy mask.”

 

Aizawa wore an unreadable expression, and for a second Shouto thought that he didn’t believe him. “That’s strange. Has he said or done anything weird?”

 

Shouto shrugged. “He has the same quirk as mine, but his fire is blue and I haven’t gotten to see his ice, but I’m assuming that it’s a blackish blue.”

 

Auzawa’s eyes widened. “I remember when your quirk lost control. The first day it turned blue and burned you, the next day your ice was that blackish blue.” He put a hand to his chin in deep thought.

 

“There’s definitely a connection.”

 

Shouto breathed out a sigh in relief. “I’m not insane.” He said.

 

“I know you aren’t.”

 

Shouto tried to move out of the restraints. “I’m not insane.”

 

This caused Aizawa to frown. He put a hand to Shouto’s arm in comfort. “I know, kid. You’re not crazy.” This calmed down Shouto just enough to stop pulling against the straps.

 

Then it was quiet. It was more comfortable to Shouto than he thought it would be. Usually, silence meant he had something wrong and his father was punishing him.

 

“You know, I wouldn’t mind if I was sent to a mental hospital.” Shouto blurted out. He wasn’t controlling his thoughts anymore.

 

Aizawa frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

 

“My mother looks so much happier there than when she was at home. If I got sent there, maybe I could be happy.”

 

Silence.

 

“Maybe you will.” Aizawa said. “But would it be worth it? You’d be confined to a room until they see that you no longer need it and then they’d send you back to your father.”

 

Shouto hummed. “I don’t want to be a hero. I just want to disappear.”

 

He stared out the window, watching as the unseen stars grew less bright.

 

But it was fine, just if you’d get broken by sorrow and disappear

Notes:

Songs:

Alter Ego

Phony

I am you

There was also a reference to my other fic with Dabi and the Tenmas. Just know that this fic and that fic are not related whatsoever.

For those who don’t know anything about PJSK, the person in the mirror is a character from pjsk named Aoyagi Touya. If you search up Alter Ego Misumi, you’ll see a person sitting on a chair wearing a mask, so just imagine Touya wearing that mask and you’ll have the person in the mirror.