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Normally, laying in Maki’s bed and being so close to her would have Nobara freaking out. Getting this sort of alone time with her was a win in her book since developing romantic feelings for Maki. But this isn’t what she expected when sleeping in the same bed. There wasn’t any gossiping, munching on a bunch of snacks and soda, and watching trashy romcoms. Nothing of that sort.
It was quiet between them. Her thumb traced along a scar on Maki’s cheek - a result of the burns she suffered during the Shibuya incident.
Shibuya.
Where she was now scarred on the left side of her face as a result. And lost an eye.
Shibuya.
Where they lost.
It made her nauseous.
She lost a part of herself and her self-esteem. She’s a teenager for crying out loud.
And so is Maki.
She wanted to keep Maki safe. Maki wanted to keep Nobara safe.
They both felt like they failed each other.
“Does it hurt..?” She asked Maki in a whisper, afraid of the answer she might get. Her thumb rested on the scar, searching for any emotion in Maki’s eyes or any sort of pain.
“No.” Maki answered without hesitation. Her hand reached out from under the blankets they were sharing to caress Nobara’s cheek, before combing through the short hair, and resting on the back of her neck. “What about you?”
Her breath hitched, eyes closing. Goodness, she’s always wanted to be touched this way by Maki but not because she was scarred on her face. Not because of pity. But only because Maki wanted to. And if Maki wanted to kiss her this way.
Except, maybe now that Yuuta was around again, she might not have a chance anymore. And while she would never compare herself to a boy that way, she could see their dynamic, and how important they were to each other.
“Sometimes it aches.” Nobara whispered, shrugging.
Have Maki and Yuuta shared a bed like this? As a sleepover? Was Nobara not.. special to have these moments with her?
It hurt.
Here she was - comparing herself to some other boy she hardly even knew. She doesn’t feel as confident in herself anymore. She doesn’t feel beautiful.
Who even is she anymore?
“It sucks. But it didn’t stop me! I’m still kickass, you know.” She can fake it, right? Maki will believe her. No one can possibly think she was suffering on the inside. And it was working, right?
“Hm.” Nobara was the fool here because Maki could see right through the façade. If there was anyone here who could see right through Nobara and the mask she now adorned, it was Maki.
And it will always be Maki.
“And I could accessorize more now. So it’s not—“
“Nobara.” Maki stopped her in her tracks. “You don’t have to. It’s fine if you’re sad about it.”
“Oh.”
“We’re fucked up.” Maki shrugged. “But you’re.. you.” She wasn’t good with words, unsure how to even console someone.
Especially that someone being Nobara. Whom she respects and.. loves.
Knowing she was alive, here in her bed, and not dead was one of the rare moments that made Maki feel like crying. And Maki doesn’t cry.
“So… you think I’m still pretty then? Even with a fucked up eye?”
Pretty? Nobara is a goddess to her. Maki envied the confidence flowing through Nobara. She’s incredibly strong - physically and mentally. Nobara is unapologetically herself. And knows who she is.
Now that she’s wiped out the Zen’in clan as she intended to - what is her purpose anymore? Does she have one? Mai is dead. It’s just her. So what is she to do next? What will Nobara do next?
Maki’s silence as a response to her question crushed Nobara more on the inside. She knew she wasn’t pretty anymore. Not even Maki was attracted to her. The one woman she hoped found her attractive.
Instead, they laid there in silence with each other, hands gently grazing each other. They occasionally made eye contact, making both of them feel butterflies in their stomachs.
Perhaps, this was Maki’s chance. She could risk it all at this moment. She could kiss and confess to Nobara about the feelings she has for her. Or ruin their relationship because of said feelings. But they both escaped death this time. And while confident in both of their skill sets, it was never a guarantee they would make it out alive every single time.
“Forget I ever asked that—“ Nobara was cut off from the ramble she was about to go on, feeling Maki’s hand on her cheek, and relishing the warmth and comfort it suddenly gave her.
She was down bad.
They gazed into each other’s eyes, hearts pounding in their chests, and butterflies in their stomachs.
Taking the risk, they both moved closer to each other, close enough to feel each other’s breath. Their noses gently bumped each other before Maki made her move, shifting her head to kiss Nobara, pressing her lips against the other’s.
Nobara froze.
Her eyes were wide, unable to kiss back from the mere shock of it all. Maki kissed her!
Maki pulled back, afraid she had misread the moment they just had, and fucked it up. Surely that meant that Nobara didn’t return the same feelings as Maki did.
She was completely wrong.
“Didn’t mean to—“
Nobara kissed her this time, still in shock this was even happening. They were kissing.
“So you don’t have a thing for Okkotsu then?”
“Are you seriously asking me this after I just kissed you?”
Nobara laughed at the tone of Maki’s voice being so deadpan, another reason why she was so enamored by the woman in front of her.
“And Nobara? Don’t doubt yourself. You’re strong and beautiful. And I’ve always admired and have been jealous of, admittedly, your self confidence.”
“Oh, wow. Maki, I..”
“Enough talking.” It felt foreign to express how she felt, kissing Nobara once again to avoid embarrassing herself more.
And it was a wonderful experience to feel that Nobara relaxed this time, closing her eyes, wrapping an arm around Maki’s middle, and kissing her back. It didn’t matter what happened in the world surrounding them and the pain it caused them - as long as they had each other, they could get through it all.