Work Text:
Aug 25, 2023 (because apparently spatoon 3, which which takes place 12000 years from now, takes place last year), 12:27 P.M.
Big Man was sat down in a cold and dark room.
...
Silence.
*Click.*
A dim yellow light flashes on, flickering and swaying back and forth, making a low humming noise as it shines light down onto the table and highlights the dust in the air. The light shows the faint sillouhette and contour of two people, but he can't tell just *who* they are.
Until one leans forward, that is. It's Frye. Big Man then assumes that Shiver is there next to her.
"Big Man. Do you know why we have you sitting here?" said Frye, beginning to pace around his chair.
"Ay." (Uh... No?..) This was in fact, a lie. Big Man was trying to hide the fact that he recently made a song with the Squid Sisters under the alias Ian BGM without Shiver and Frye's permission. (those two would then go on to do that exact same thing with Off the Hook under the alias Fire and Ice, but that hasn't happened in this oneshot's timeline yet.)
Shiver butts in. "Does this sound... familiar to you?" She started playing a snippet of Liquid Sunshine, a recent Squid Sisters song which CLEARLY featured Big Man as a vocalist (and probably also the song writer).
...
"Ay." (No.)
"Sure," Frye said. "I'm sure that the singer that *totally* sounds like you... isn't you."
"Ay ay!" (It's not me, I promise!)
"Then what is this, Big Man?" Shiver holds up a picture taken of the Squid Sisters and their totally-not-Big-Man backup singer. "Looks *awfully* close to you."
He started sweating. (do manta rays even sweat?) "A- Ay!" (It- It's not me!)
"Really? Because it seems like you're pretty nervous right now, Big Man. So tell me the truth. Are you Ian BGM?" Frye asked.
Shiver and Frye waited for an answer, a cold, hard look on their faces.
"Ay, ay!.. ay." (Alright, alright!.. it's me...)
Frye ran up to Big Man and held a knife up to his...... neck??? (does Big Man have a neck?) Knife in hand, Frye said to Big Man, "Why did you make music with those Inkopolis fools?! You betrayed us, Big Man!" (again, Shiver and Frye would go on to do this exact thing in the future.)
"Ay ay! Ay... ay ay, ay." (No need to be aggressive! I just... wanted to make music with new people, that's all.)
"Maybe you should just stick with them all the time from now on. We can make a cooler name than Deep Cut after that. Fire and Ice, maybe." yelled Shiver. "Why don't you like us, Big Man?" replied Frye.
"Ay ay-" (I just wanted to show Inkopolis us-) Big Man explained. Crappy excuse, but...
"So you went and made a song with the Squid Sisters? Doesn't make any sense, Big Man. People in Inkopolis already know us, Big Man. You don't *have* to show them us!" Safe to say Frye didn't buy it.
"You know what? We're splitting up. You're gone, Big Man." Shiver was serious, with an angry expression on her face.
Big Man gasped. Was this really happening? Were his two best friends since middle school really abandoning him over a song?
"Get out of here, Big Man. You're not welcome here anymore."