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You'd known Bucky Barnes for a long time now, your brother's best friend since middle school. His friendship had extended to you, once you were old enough to hang out with the two of them. Even when your brother was ruthless in his teasing, going until you were red in the face with frustration, Bucky was there to make sure he wasn't being too much of an asshole. It was around then that your crush started to blossom. When your brother had moved to Maine a few years ago, you started finding Bucky at your apartment more so than ever before. To you, it seemed like he found comfort in the walls of your apartment and in your company.
So, you were never surprised when Bucky magically appeared at your doorstep, always letting himself in with the spare key you'd given him shortly after he started appearing all of the time. But he was a gentleman, so when he knew you had plans or company, he didn't invite himself over. Today was no exception to your usual routine though, him letting himself into your all too familiar apartment. You didn't bother to be startled as you turned your head over your shoulder and smiled at him from your spot on the couch.
It was a dreary day in Brooklyn, and you had no desire to do anything other than watch the Harry Potter movies for the umpteenth time. Bucky seemed to have a similar idea as he closed the front door, locking all the locks behind him and taking his shoes off. He'd called this morning, asking if he could come spend the day with you, to which you'd eagerly agreed, excited to spend time with him, as always.
"Hey, Buck." You greeted, looking back to your tv, hoping to hide the overly giddy smile on your face. Since today was declared a 'lazy day', you had let Bucky know that a pair of pajamas would be awaiting him when we reached your apartment. Since Bucky practically lived at your place in his free time, a good portion of his wardrobe had ended up there too, mixing in with your clothes.
A pair of his old sweatpants and ratty black t-shirt sat neatly on the edge of your partially made bed. The comforter thrown half-heartedly over tangled sheets and several stuffed animals; you'd never been one for properly making your bed. From your seat on the couch, you make out his wet figure, the man shrugging out of his coat and setting it nicely on the coatrack in hopes of drying it. You didn't realize how hard the rain had been coming down until you saw him.
"Hey, tiny." The brunet hummed, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he passed you by the couch, ruffling your hair as he made his way to your bedroom. Tiny. His own little nickname for you. At first it had been a jab at your stature and how short you were in comparison to himself and your brother, but over the years it evolved into his term of endearment for you. Growing up, you used to be bothered by it, until you realized it belonged to you and him. It was your own thing. And that made your heart grow ten times its size. After high school, you'd turned to calling him James, since you knew it irked him the same way his nickname used to bother you.
"There's mac and cheese on the stove if you're hungry." You huffed, fixing your hair with a scowl on your face. "And leave my hair alone!"
Through your still open door, you could hear him laugh and you could almost perfectly picture the smirk on his perfect face. He'd let his scruff grow in the past couple of weeks, giving him the most delicious five o'clock shadow you'd ever seen. You couldn't comprehend how someone could pull off everything. When he had long hair, he'd been ungodly handsome and now with short hair, he still looked exceptional. You wanted to hate him for how hot he was.
Turning over on the couch to make a snide comment about him laughing at you, you found your words abandoning you. At the same moment you had caught sight of his frame, Bucky had grasped the neck of his shirt, pulling the fabric off of his body. This motion left his toned back exposed to you, making your mouth go dry as you watched the muscles work as he tossed the shirt aside and reached for the new. Suddenly aware of everything your body was feeling, you remembered that you shouldn't be watching him change. Whipping around, you gripped the remote, upping the volume on the show you were watching in hopes of drowning out the bad thoughts you were having.
You'd always been aware that Bucky was extremely fit, from playing baseball in high school to his time in the army, Bucky always kept himself in good shape. And you weren't unaware of his physique. You'd spent enough time in pools and family vacations with him to know how good he looked shirtless. But every time you saw him and his stupidly perfect golden tan skin, it was like the first time all over again. At even the smallest glimpse of his body, you were reduced to nothing but a teenage girl with raging hormones and insanely large crush.
"I'm surprised you didn't make popcorn." He said as he left your bedroom to head to the kitchenette where you'd left the food out.
You shrugged, your eyes following his form shamelessly now that he was clothed and had his back facing you again. "We have enough movies to have lunch, dinner, dessert and snacks. Popcorn is for later." Turning your gaze back the tv, you muttered. "And I knew you probably didn't make yourself anything to eat, so I figured real food for now."
From your spot on the couch, you missed the way his smirk softened into a fond smile, his eyes on your face for a moment before he finished dishing himself a bowl and made his way to you. "You take such good care of me, tiny." He said teasingly, taking the spot on the other end of the couch.
In a movement of habit, you kicked your legs out, placing them on his lap with no hesitation. This was a ritual that you two had developed upon the first time he had visited your apartment by himself. When you two had settled in on your couch, he'd noticed you couldn't get properly comfortable and reached across to grasp your ankles and stretch your legs over his lap. It had taken a while to get used to, but since he started doing it every time he came over, you quickly adapted. Bucky hummed, lifting his bowl out of your way and placing a pillow over your crossed ankles.
Without missing a beat, you began to talk. "So, we're obviously starting with the first movie. The Sorcerer's Stone." You explained as you changed the tv to display the opening screen for the movie. "And I know this feels like pulling teeth for you because it's not a documentary about war or the creation of cars, but you're just gonna have to suck it up!"
This was third time you'd managed to convince him to watch the movies with you. Which you took as a personal victory because all he did was watch documentaries and anything involving historical fiction because he was basically an old man. And even though you enjoyed fantasy and romance movies, when he won the rock, paper, scissors over who picked the movie, you were more than happy to sit back and watch them. But when you could, you'd put on a Harry Potter movie, almost buzzing with excitement to watch them. You always gloated about your Hogwarts house to whoever would let you talk about it.
You were such a dedicated fan that you had even managed to get Bucky to take the sorting hat quiz, every few years. He was a Gryffindor.
Bucky simply smiled, shoving a forkful of mac and cheese into his mouth as his gaze stayed on you. "You know I'd do anything you want me to." He said as he swallowed his bite, the corners of his mouth turned up.
"Ew. That was gross." You laughed, scrunching your nose up even though your ears were burning at his sickeningly sweet words.
As the movie began, the two of you talked a little, your attention split between the movie and whatever it was that Bucky was saying. By the time you two began the third movie, your favorite, Bucky's bowl was long forgotten the coffee table and the pillow he'd placed on your legs had been moved aside. His hand rested over your ankle, his thumb running over the bare skin between the end of your sweatpants and the start of your sock. He'd pulled the throw blanket from the back of the couch earlier, draping it over the both of you.
You had stopped paying attention the moment his thumb began to drag across your skin in an almost mindless manner. And even if it was mindless for him, it was certainly not for you. In fact, it was all you were aware of as you stared blankly at the tv screen, not retaining any of the images being displayed.
"Hey." Bucky's thumb tapped your ankle, forcing you to look at him. "This is normally the part where you start explaining the lore about the marauders." His expression was concerned, his thumb going back to rubbing what was supposed to be comforting circles on your ankle.
"Sorry. I guess I got really into it." You lied, smiling at him as you withdrew his legs from your grasp. His touch was making you go crazy. Deciding you needed a break from the close proximity, you stood from the couch and stretched your arms over your head, pulling up the bottom of the hoodie you wore. Coincidentally, it was one of Bucky's that you'd stolen. Moving to the windows, you glanced out, scanning the skies. Watching as the rain came down harder and lightning flashed across the sky, you frowned. Drawing the curtains shut, you turned back to look at Bucky, who was not so subtly glancing between you and the tv. "Hey, just warnin' ya, but there's a storm coming."
Bucky's attention snapped to you fully, a frown beginning to pull at his lips at your words. Ever since his return from active duty, he'd had an issue with thunderstorms, the loud noises triggering his PTSD. But since he'd been attending therapy, his fear had shrunk significantly. Yet every time a storm rolled in; he couldn't shake the fear. For a moment, his eyes unfocused but then his gaze was back on you. "I'm not worried. I got you. And the lights are-"
Before he could finish the sentence, the budding storm cut off the power, leaving the two of you in the dark. You heard his sigh, and you smiled despite yourself. "You know, that was one hundred percent your fault."
"Shut up."
Giggling, you blindly felt your way through your apartment, headed toward your kitchen where you know you kept a flashlight or two, "Just stay there, m'grabbing flashlights."
"I could help." Bucky offered, moving to get up.
"Just sit there and look pretty for me, yeah?" You teased, retrieving them and a few fake candles. Turning on the flashlight, you directed the beam at Bucky, who was squinting at you.
"Stop pointing that at me," He grumbled, holding a hand up to cover his eyes.
"Sorry, I was trying to find you." You replied, moving to where he sat and handed him the spare. As his fingers brushed against yours, your bit your bottom lip. "Are you doing okay, Buck?"
His gaze softened, his eyes never leaving yours as he accepted the tool from you. "Yeah, sweetheart, I'm alright. Promise."
Your heart squeezed in your chest, the term of endearment hitting it like cupid's arrow. Inhaling sharply, you leaned back and smiled weakly. "I'm gonna go set up these fakes in the bedroom and bathroom, are you gonna make it if I do?"
Bucky's mouth turned down at your joke and he grasped your wrist, standing to his full height. "I'm a grown man, tiny. I'll come with you."
"Just sit-"
"And look pretty, yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes. "I'm going to the bedroom, and I'll make myself at home on your bed. I'll look pretty there."
You smiled and wormed your way out of his grasp, leading him toward the bedroom, where he flopped down on the bed and pointed the flashlight to the ceiling, his eyes on you. As you moved around the room, you placed a few fake candles around and then in the adjoining bathroom. During the entire thing you felt Bucky's eyes on your frame, his gaze following you with every step you took.
Once you'd finished you, you moved to fall onto the bed besides him, your hands brushing. "There, light." You muttered softly, your eyes closing as you listened to the rain while it hit the windows of your bedroom. As thunder roared outside, Bucky's fingers tangled with yours, searching for comfort as the noise echoed around you two.
Digging your phone from your pocket, you opened Spotify, letting music wash over the two of you and drown out the storm outside. Placing your phone between your bodies, you turned your head toward him, looking at him worriedly. "It's you and me against the world, remember? Nothing can get us here." You told him gently, squeezing his hand. As his eyes met yours, you melted at the look at his blue irises. "You're safe here, Buck."
The look his eyes was something like awe, his gaze never leaving yours as he stared. It's as if you were something more than just a woman, something closer to a guardian angel. It made you swallow thickly, feeling very exposed under his sparkling gaze. But even if it did, you couldn't bring yourself to break the contact, not even as his hand came up to brush against your cheek bone. "I know." He said softly, his thumb skating gently across your cheek before his hand dropped onto his chest. "Yeah, I know because you're here, Angel."
Your heart nearly exploded out of your chest at the pet-name, the muscle slamming against your ribs painfully as you looked at him. You did your best to ignore your feelings for Bucky, not wanting to do anything to jeopardize the friendship you had cultivated over the years. Bucky was important to you, and you didn't want to do anything that could cost you his friendship. But as he stared at you now, his eyes so earnest and a look in his eyes you didn't quite understand, you were almost ready to risk it all.
You'd known Bucky long enough that he'd seen you through most of your ugly, weird and oddball phases. He knew everything about you, and you were sure that you knew everything about him. He'd seen you cry, laugh, yell, and scream. He'd been there for you for your ups and your downs, waiting at your side with a hug or whatever else you needed. And in return, you were there for him too, for whatever he needed. Your friendship never even faltered when he went overseas. You still had every letter he had written to you over the years he had been deployed. Every single one neatly kept in a shoebox at the top of your closet.
You'd hoped your crush would dwindle as time went on, but it only seemed to grow the older the two of you got. What had started as a sandbox crush quickly evolved into a one-sided love that you couldn't seem to escape. Every now and again, Bucky would do something; make you laugh, hold your hand crossing the street, fix your hair. Something that was simple and probably meaningless to him, but every single thing would have your heart trying to leap out of your chest and into his hands.
It wanted to fall right into his calloused palms and scream: "I'M HERE! I'M YOURS! LOVE ME, LOVE ME!" but you always took a mental bat and beat those feelings back, settling for his friendship. Because at least you had his friendship in your life, at least you had him in some way. If that's what kept him in your life, then you'd settle.
"Where'd you go, angel?" He asked softly, reaching out to cup your cheek and bring your gaze back to his. His thumb brushed along the softness of your cheek; his brows furrowed in worry as he looked at you. "You're getting lost in that big head of yours."
You frowned, an affronted noise leaving your lips. "My head is not big!" You exclaimed in frustration, though your voice lacked any real venom as you looked at him.
His hand left your cheek, moving to tap the center of your forehead with a chuckle. Not on the outside at least." He joked, his gaze all gooey as he ogled at you. His gaze was so endearing that it made you swallow thickly. If you hadn't been studying his expression so closely, you could have missed the way the look in his eyes shifted into something else... something more loving than you were used to.
Feeling your face heat up as he stared at you, you rolled your eyes. "Whatever, James." You huffed, moving away from his grasp and sitting up to grab my phone to change the music. Bucky gasped, grabbing your arm and pushing you back so the man could turn on his side, hovering over you. As the corner of his mouth quirked up, you couldn't help but think this wasn't very 'close friends' of you and your stomach soared at the thought. "That was rude."
"Calling me James was worse." He teased, smirking down at you as one of his arms kept him propped up. "I'd like an apology, angel. Shouldn't be rude to a guy on a night like this."
You snorted, crossing your arms over your chest as you looked up at him. "Aw, I'm sorry, Jamie, did I hurt your feelings?"
Bucky's eyes narrowed. "Come on, tiny, be nice."
"I am being nice... James!"
You should have been prepared, seeing as this wasn't the first time Bucky had started tickling you in retaliation. As his free hand reached out to poke and prod at your ribs, you yelped and tried to fight him off, but he was stronger than you. Laughing loudly, you swatted at his hands as he moved onto his knees to use both of his hands in his attack.
"Ah! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" You laughed, "I'll be nice, I promise!"
"Yeah? You're sorry?" He said condescendingly, his eyes never leaving your face as he looked down at you in faux sympathy. "Prove it, angel. Make me believe it, yeah?"
At the tone in his voice, your face went red (and something in your core lit on fire). Without thinking, you reached out, your hand catching the back of his neck, and pulled him down. Pressing your lips against his in a feverish motion, you captured him in a passionate kiss. As soon as your lips connected you felt what every romance movie had ever demonstrated- complete fireworks. Your stomach did cartwheels, and your heart soared. But the kiss ended quickly, and you pulled away, falling back onto the pillow besides where he had planted his hand when you'd pulled him down.
Staring at him, you floundered for a response, unsure of what to stay as the two of you just looked at one another with wide eyes. Finally able to find your voice, you spoke shakily. "Believe it now?"
The sentence had barely left your lips before he was surging forward, your mouths connecting in another kiss. His lips were chapped, you noticed and that's all you really noticed as his mouth moved against yours. It was everything you expected a kiss from him, all that and even more. You'd kissed a fair number of boys, but none of them compared to this. After years of wondering what it would be like to kiss him, you were finally here, and it was perfect. When Bucky pulled away, it was because you needed to breathe, but you had a feeling if you didn't need to breathe, he wouldn't have stopped.
"You know how long I've been wantin' to do that, angel?" He murmured, looking at you in wonder as he gently toyed with your hair. "Been waitin' years." His voice was rough, the kind of rough that went straight to your core as he spoke lowly.
“Years?” You repeated softly, unable to look away from him.
“For as long as I’ve known you, angel.” He said softly, his hand moving to tug at a strand of your hair with a nervous look. “From the moment I met you when we were kids, I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. And I knew…”
As his voice died off, you found yourself eager to know what he wanted to say. Taking a deep breath, you reached out, gently running your fingers through the scruff on his cheek. “Knew what?”
Bucky’s eyes searched your face, trying to find something you weren’t sure you knew you had. But after a moment the tension left his face and he smiled, the nervous edge still obvious in the corners of his mouth as he looked down at you.
“Knew that you’d be mine. Knew that you were it.”
The breath got caught in your chest and you couldn’t stop the smile that turned your mouth up. “Really?”
“Really.” He nodded softly, moving his hand to touch your cheek, his hand gently running along the edge of your jaw. “From the moment your brother introduced me to you, I knew that there wasn’t anyone else. I was always gonna have you, as gross and possessive as that sounds.”
His sentence made you laugh, the sentiment behind it making your smile widen into a grin you couldn’t contain. Your heart seemed to explode in your chest at his words and gentle touch. Unable to properly express how you felt, you simply tilted your head, your lips pressing onto his again.
”So, you’ve been playing the long game, huh?” You asked once your mouths parted.
His mouth twisted into a smirk. “Tiny, this isn’t a game to me.” His expression softened, turning to one of seriousness as he looked at you. “I mean it, it’s not a game to me. I’ve been waitin’ for you, waitin’ to make a move, waitin’ to figure out if you felt the same way. This wasn’t ever a game. This is our future.”
This was everything you’d ever wanted. This, right here and now. You had it. You had the only thing you’ve ever craved.
But the longer your silence dragged on, the more solemn his expression became and he pulled back, sitting on his haunches with a small frown. “I-I’m sorry, that was too forward.”
”No!” You exclaimed quickly, sitting up so fast you slammed your forehead into his. You laughed, rubbing the aching spot on your head as you looked at him earnestly. “No, no, it wasn’t. I want this. I want you. I-I always have.” You told him seriously, your voice soft with affection.
“Yeah?” He asked with a smile, a ribbon of vulnerability running through his tone as he too rubbed the spot where your heads had collided.
Letting your hand fall away from your head, you took both of his between your palms. Inhaling deeply, you smiled at your conjoined hands. “You-you… Bucky, you’ve been my friend forever and from the moment I saw you, I loved you. You’re so good and kind and sweet, you’ve always been so good to me. I liked you a lot when we were kids and that quickly grew into this love I couldn’t shake when we got older. Everything you’ve done for me always made me love you more…”
As the admission rolled off your tongue, you found yourself studying his hand, tracing the scars over his skin and the lines across his palm. It helped calm the shakiness in your voice as you did your best to ignore the way his gaze burned into your face.
“You’re so good to me, Buck. You always have been, you never make me feel out of place or strange. And I love you for everything you’ve done for me. I love you for your heart and your soul and your entire being.” You licked your lips, daring to meet his eyes. “I love you.”
Bucky’s grin was blinding as he leaned forward, catching you in another kiss. It was sweet, the kind of kiss that you only have with one person. It was slow, you mouths moving in sync, as if you already knew every inch of one another.
”I love you too.” He said as he smiled again, this kiss now all teeth and giggles as you held his face. His lips moved from your face, instead now exploring your face as he pressed kisses onto every part of your face he could reach. With every kiss, soft declarations of his love for you followed. It made you feel warm and fuzzy.
Bucky loved you. He loved you back.
And while that was amazing, one question lingered in the back of your mind. You giggled and pushed him back slightly, your noses brushing as he stared at you with literal stars in his eyes. “This is amazing, but I have a question.”
His smile remained in place as he pressed a small kiss to your nose. “What is it?”
”What are we gonna tell my brother?” You asked with a hesitant look in your face, your bottom lip caught between your teeth as his face went slack with surprise. Obviously he hadn’t thought about that either.
”Shit.”
In the end, the two of you decided to figure that out later. Rather than worry about your brother, the two of you went back to giggling in between kisses and admitting to all of the things you loved about one another. And it was the start to your future, the most beautiful one you condo have imagined.