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Health Anxiety

Summary:

Miles doesn't realise what he's in for when he tries to get his cough checked out by Gregory House.

This is what happens when you write a fic in frantic fanfic with a one minute timer while hiding the previous parts.

Work Text:

Miles had a persistent cough for the last 3 weeks, and finally decided he needed to get it checked out for real.
So he decided to take it up with his local medical clinic, which happened to have a very special doctor on hand: Gregory House.
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“hello i’m gregory house md and you look like you need more mouse bites sir” mr house said to miles.
“what?” edgworth replied confused by the freak in front of him.
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Edgeworth had never heard of a treatment that involved mouse bites before. Mouse 2 who was nearby promptly faded away into the shadows never to be seen by either of them again.
"You heard me. Mouse bites."
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"How can we find Mouse 2?"
"Well, you should know that I secretly am an assassin, an assassassin even, cuz my ass is just that great!....Anyway we need to find her to use the magic bite."
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Miles was still shaking because as House's first name reminded him of his father, but he had no choice but to continue.
"My ass is much better though, so perhaps you should follow me instead. Or we could split up to find mouse 2 faster"
"Oooh, that's a great idea. If you have suicidal tendencies"
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"If I have what?" asked Miles
"Maybe you should do drugs about it." suggested House.
"I'm not selling you my anxiety meds," snapped edgeworth, and went to see a more qualifi
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ed doctor was anywhere to be found. But he was out of luck, and the place was completely deserted except for that shady doctor. House grinned at him.
"You still aren't getting my anxiety meds (weed)"
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Miles Edgeworth tried to run out of the hospital but it was no use. House teleported in front of Miles, because he can do that now due to vicodin I guess, "You can't hide from me Mr. Prosecutor, you need the anxiety drug (weed)"
"Weed is not legal in Japanifornia yet! I can't sully my record even more!" Edgeworth shouted
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"I AM THE DRUG BOOGEY MAN, AND YOU WILL EAT MY WEED!" shouted House, and he threw an edible directly at Edgeworth's head. Edgeworth opened his mouth to scream, but instead ended up downing an entire weed brownie and was cooked.
Dr. House then made fun of him for the next 12 hours because Edgeworth was toked as hell, and called up Phoenix to come watch also.

Although Miles had not, in the end, cured his illness, it certainly was an eventful day.

THE END