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Ganji sat on the barstool and glanced over at what was in the corner of his eye. He saw the barmaid chatting with William Ellis, the rugby player. Dark locs, burly build, almost everything about him was hyper-masculine except for his voice— it wasn't a bad thing, though. It was soft with a specific cadence and of course a British accent. It was calming and a nice contrast to his appearance. Ganji didn't know what exactly they were talking about; he just enjoyed hearing his accent.
He didn't realize how long he was staring at the guy until they made eye contact. Ganji quickly broke it and took the last sip of his red wine.
“Hey Ms. Bourbon, may I get another glass?” He asked mainly to distract himself from the silent but awkward exchange.
“Another Chardonnay?” She responded as she walked over to his end of the counter.
“Yes, please.”
She got the bottle from the shelf and poured more wine. His eyes diverted towards the rugby player two seats away only for a split second. He already felt the alcohol getting to him.
“Thank you.”
“My pleasure,” Demi winked. She jogged over to Jose at the other side of the counter. Ganji put the glass to his lips. The vanilla scent mixed with how smooth it went down was somehow relaxing. But then he had a reason to tense up. A stool creaked, and from the corner of his eye, William walked towards him. His heart started to beat faster.
“Hey,” William said. Ganji flinched at the interjection even though it was to be expected. His lips parted to say something but then sealed shut. The one thing he dreaded happened: William sat down right next to him.
“Are you alright?”
Ganji rolled his eyes. With aggression, swinging away at full velocity, was the only way he was able to deal with unwanted situations. He could admit to himself he was interested in William, but he couldn't show it. It was too much to handle even thinking about giving it a shot.
“Yeah. Why? What do you want?”
Ganji’s tone made William feel like he got shoved against a wall.
“Oh. Thought I saw you glancing at me. I was wondering if you wanted something.”
Ganji titled his head, “Have you considered that maybe you're the one glancing?”
William raised an eyebrow. He was probably loosening up from the alcohol, his eyes included.
“I have peripherals,” William said. He then took a condescending sip of his red wine. Ganji frowned. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down as much as possible before he threw his glass across the bar like a cricket ball.
William cleared his throat, “You're new, right? How's the manor?”
Ganji didn't have to think of an answer; it's been a few days, but very few people aside from William seemed to not let Ganji’s shield of aggression push them away. He sighed.
“I don't really like anyone,” Ganji’s voice lowered, “and I don't think anyone really likes me either.”
From that alone, William could tell what motivated Ganji to set up a wall between him and everyone else. He almost felt sympathetic.
“I think you're c—” William interrupted himself with a fake hiccup. His face burned up.
“Cool… Yeah. You seem cool.”
William felt like he was going to be punched in the face, if not from Ganji, from his own bare fist instead. Ganji had a blank stare with hooded eyes. Then his eyebrows raised.
“Cool?” He said after the delayed reaction. He couldn't remember the last time someone complimented him.
“Y-Yeah.” William smiled, “I can tell you're pretty introverted. But if you're bored or ever need someone to chat with, I'm here.”
Ganji’s eyebrows scrunched up. William was dumbfounded; all he did was try to be nice. What he didn't know was how foreign friendliness from another man was to Ganji.
Ganji blushed, “W-What?”
He slammed his elbow on the counter, shielding his face from William.
“I don't need your friendship… or your pitying crap!” He tried to control his volume as much as he could. The barmaid and officer looked over to the end of the counter where the bang came from. William was so embarrassed he could break something. He gawked. His head turned towards the other two at the bar; Demi held up a finger at Jose and made her way to William and Ganji.
“Hey,” Demi put a hand on her hip, “You two boys alright here?”
William hated embarrassing situations like this. He wanted to get up, go to his room, and slam the door behind him. It would only make more of a scene though, so he clenched his fists. Neither Ganji nor William looked at each other or Demi.
“Yes. I'm just a bit drunk.” Ganji gulped the last of his wine with a sour face. Demi scoffed, “You've only had two shots.”
“Low tolerance.”
Demi nodded. She crossed her arms on the counter and faced William. He leaned back as much as he could on the barstool. He didn't want her to see how uncomfortable he was simply existing at the moment, though it was probably obvious.
“Can I get you anything else, Mr. Ellis?”
“Uh… Another Pinot Noir, please.” He said as he pushed the glass forward. It sounded more like a groan. Ganji sneered at him, so he sneered back, and suddenly Ganji’s face was back in the crevice of his elbow.
“Arsehole,” he mouthed.
Demi slid the glass across the counter, then it slowed down into William’s hand. He saw Kevin walk down the hall in his usual, seeming inebriated enough by the way he waved.
“Thank you.”
“No problem,” Demi smiled then waved at the cowboy, “Hey, Kevin!”
William was ready to tune out whatever Kevin would ramble about that day, but then he heard a groan from Ganji which helped.
“Pinot Noir?” He huffed like he tasted the words themselves, “Ugh.”
William sipped said drink, then slammed the glass on the table.
“What?” He made sure to look right at Ganji.
“Dry wine is disgusting.”
“And what are you drinking? Chardonnay? That's gross. You might as well drink melted butter.”
“What’s the point of drinking wine if it's not sweet?”
“Pinot Noir isn't the sweetest, but the scent and notes are what make it good, you wanker.”
“Hey guys!” Emma greeted before even reaching the dining hall. William and Ganji diverted their attention to see at least three people make their way to the long table.
Ganji audibly groaned. He just wanted to sit at the bar with his thoughts taking up the space on the barstools. People came down the stairs, one by one. He dreaded this party.
~ · ~
Ganji had his palms suctioned to his ears and his eyes squeezed shut. Muffled voices and music were trying to make their way through his hands and into his head. He opened his eyes to the empty glass, regretting every last minute he spent at the bar. His breaths were shaky.
“Ms. Bourbon,” Ganji said. He didn't realize how quiet he was until he took his hands off of his head. He turned to his left to see Jose laughing so hard that his head landed on Kevin’s shoulder. Demi’s red lips pulled into a grin; he assumed she pretended to be entertained by whatever horrible jokes a drunk sailor and a drunk cowboy have to say.
“Ms. Bourbon!” He called out more from irritation than urgency.
“Oh! Apologies,” she pulled the bottle of white wine off of the shelf. She had a feeling of what Ganji wanted by now.
“One more.” As he said so, the chardonnay wine poured into the glass. He was already hot, but he could use some more wine to numb the anxiety.
“Here you go, Mr. Gupta. Are you—”
She didn't get the chance to ask if he was okay before Ganji got up from the bar and took the glass with him. He speedwalked his way to the stairs with heavy footsteps. It felt like the talking stopped— like someone turned off the phonograph— all for the opportunity to stare down the man running upstairs. In reality, only a few people glanced, but he felt like the whole world stopped to make fun of him.
William put down his fork. He sighed.
Demi looked around for the one person she knew could get a word out to the guy other than her. William was sitting at the table next to Patricia. His eyes found hers first, though. She beckoned him with a hand.
William got up from the chair hesitantly and leaned over the bar counter.
“What happened? Is he alright?”
Demi shrugged, “I'm not too sure. I wanted to ask, but he just requested another shot and raced his way upstairs. He was sweating bullets.”
She leaned in closer and whispered, “I think you should go check on him, Mr. Ellis.”
Willam shook his head. He was probably the last person Ganji wanted to see. After their passive-aggressive conversation, he understood why he'd walk away from the scene entirely.
“Really? I mean he's not really a people person. And he's a bit battered.”
Demi tilted her head as if to ask if he was being serious.
“Not only is he tipsy, but he took another shot with him. No one should be left by themselves drinking, right?”
William pursed his lips. Unless he wanted to protect his pride, he didn't have a good reason to leave Ganji alone. He didn't have a reason to leave any drinking person alone in general.
William sighed, “Alright.”
She was the barmaid after all. If something were to happen to an inebriated person, she would possibly be to blame.
“Thank you, Mr. Ellis.”
“Cheers,” he said before making his way upstairs.
~ · ~
The classical music and chatter muffled. He looked around for Ganji’s room that he previously found on the list. He saw the door was cracked open a little, and the dim orange light from the hallway barely distinguished the dim yellow hue of his room light. A groan came through the door, and then what William assumed was a glass hitting a table.
Ganji wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. He then fanned himself with the collar of his roughed-up off-white shirt. Once it wasn't working well enough, he pulled the shirt over his head.
William’s whole body froze. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn't something to make him question himself all over again.
“God dammit,” Ganji held his palm to his face, “Why can't I fucking talk to anyone? I can't even talk to him . Why can't I just…” He paced around the room to let the breeze brush his bare skin. William’s heart dropped thinking he was coming to the door and hearing the pronoun. He didn't want to be selfish, but there was no other person he could think of that Ganji could be referring to. He continued to scope as much as he could see through the crack left for him, feeling more and more pity.
“Why am I like this? Fuck!” He slammed his fist on the desk, making the glass next to him shake.
William hated seeing how Ganji truly felt about himself. It was the alcohol most likely letting his emotions come out more depressingly than outright angrily. He straightened out his back, then took a deep yet quiet breath. His knuckle hovered over the wood door. He swallowed.
As Ganji downed some wine, William knocked on the door twice.
“H-Hey,” He didn't think it'd come out that quiet, but it was loud enough to get his attention. He choked on the wine, then coughed multiple times into his arm.
William scratched the back of his head. His eyes were locked on the floor to not give Ganji the wrong idea. Like he was a lurker or a snake.
“What?”
William slowly opened the door in response. Ganji wiped his face. Not just his lips, but his eyes as well. His bare body made William blush even more— whether it was noticeable or not.
“S-Sorry if I'm being a bother. I just heard a bang, so I wanted to check up on you.”
Ganji rolled his eyes, “Why do you care so much?”
“What do you mean ‘Why do I care?’ Why am I not allowed to care? Where's your shirt…?”
“I'm hot.”
He wished he could tell Ganji just how much he cared, but it wasn't the right time. Ganji sat on the end of his bed. It was silent for a few, just Ganji slouched with his forehead in his palm and William looking around the room. There were still boxes on the floor since he arrived at the manor not too long ago.
He groaned, “I don't know. I don't fuckin’ know.”
William leaned against the door after closing it.
“I just… I'm not used to people caring.”
William took one step, just to be cautious, but Ganji didn't seem to mind. He mustered up the courage to say what he wanted to, then took a breath.
“To be honest, I want to get to know you better.”
Ganji looked up right at him. William’s stomach turned.
“I didn't know when that chance would arrive, because you're quite reserved, so I decided to say it now.” He took another step and eventually rested a hand on the wooden table.
“For some reason, how reticent and shirty you are makes me want to know more about you.”
Ganji sat there for a moment. He probably didn't know exactly what ‘shirty’ meant; from experience, telling someone short-tempered that they're short-tempered is asking for a horrible response. Possibly even a diatribe. He didn't respond horribly though, instead, he moved down on the bed.
“All of the noise was overwhelming. I'm not used to being around so many people, let alone people I don't know that well. Sometimes I’m so scared of fucking up social interactions to where I just… tense up and shut myself out.”
William noticed what he felt was empathy. He responded, “I also tense up during social situations sometimes. Especially since I’m short-tempered. I question if people even like me.”
“I do— erm,” Ganji stammered, “I don't necessarily dislike you, Ellis. I’m just in a bad mood.”
William looked up from the floor at the slip-up. He had to be hearing things. He also saw Ganji’s hand next to the free space on his bed.
“You can… sit down if you want.” Ganji didn't look up once. William’s eyes widened,
“On your bed?”
“If you're gonna be here long, you might as well not be on your legs.”
William almost smiled. Too many emotions were fueling his drive to push forward. He stepped over to the bed slowly, then made sure there was a good distance between the two where he sat. His eyes landed on Ganji's abdomen.
Ganji took a sip of his wine, “Did you hear any of that?”
He flushed. Only for a second, before lying without thought.
“Any of…?”
“N-Nevermind,” Ganji shook his head. William didn't even want to consider the thought that Ganji wanted to get to know him first. Not many people have— especially at the manor. This was a rare moment for them both.
“To be honest, I've seen you around the manor too. Since we both play a sport. Rugby isn't as good as cricket though,” he finished his glass after saying.
“Excuse me?” William's eyebrow twitched, “Then what about me caught your eye if you don't like rugby, hm?”
Ganji snorted, this time getting wine on his chin. William felt like he won somehow. Dissing the sport he’s dedicated most of his life to warranted karma.
“Ellis!” Ganji snarled. The wrinkle in his nose indicated a button was definitely pushed. He wiped his chin, which made the stickiness spread to more of his skin. William probably had a chance.
“Was it my appearance?”
“Shut up,” Ganji’s face was in his palms.
“Sorry,” He laughed. He knew Ganji already wanted to pursue at least a friendship with him, so it was worth a shot. Ganji’s arms crossed around his chest. His face was beet red.
“Yes.”
“Hm?” William leaned down to better see Ganji’s face, but then he turned his head more to the right.
“C'mon,” He teased along with a nudge at his shoulder, “What was that, Gupta?”
Ganji could feel his heartbeat in his ears.
Just then, his hand found William’s. This is why he never stressed out when playing Cricket— his hands became shaky when he had anxiety. William noticed, and then the anxiety got to him like it was airborne. Ganji’s hand was rougher than his, but very slightly smaller.
“Are you alr—”
“Can I kiss you?”
William’s words went flying in a different direction. Ganji held his hand tighter. He scoffed,
“You're absolutely hammered, aren't you?”
“I know I am,” Ganji licked his lips. William could've sworn his heart skipped a beat, “But if I were sober, I'd never have the courage to even be sitting next to you right now.”
William put away his teasing smile and replaced it with a sincere one.
“Of course.”
He didn't get to process what exactly was about to happen before he was pulled in at full force. His lips shoved against Ganji’s. His hand was gripped so tight that his veins throbbed. As elated as he was about the kiss, the taste of vanilla was potent on his lips. The taste was more bitter on Ganji’s end. They held on for a bit, and then Ganji pulled away. William got a closer look at Ganji's eyes, his hair, and just how much blood rushed to his cheeks. Ganji got a closer look at William’s features as well.
“It was your appearance. I thought you were cute,” Ganji said.
“Oh,” William laughed out of nervousness. Hearing those words from someone, especially someone he thought was attractive, was staggering.
“I think you're bloody fit.”
“The hell does that mean?”
“Your eyes, your hair,” William twirled his fingers around a curl on his bangs, “And of course because you're an athlete as well.”
William put his hand over Ganji’s which rested on his jaw. This was probably the most open Ganji was able to feel in a while. It wasn't the time to make light of it.
“I don't remember the last time I've been this close to someone. I'm sorry I'm so drunk—”
“It's okay,” William reassured. He held his arms out to welcome Ganji more into his immediacy. He didn't reciprocate at first, but then he put his arms around William’s chest in a hug. His head sat on his shoulder. His curls brushed against his bearded jaw. Ganji smelled a bit like alcohol from the spill earlier.
“You're an emotional drunk, are you?”
“I guess so,” Ganji yawned. He faced William and kissed him again. This one was deeper. Ganji’s breath was throaty, making William shiver. Everything was fast yet didn't feel rushed. William licked his lips and felt his stomach wince at the tooth-rotting sweetness of the wine on his tongue. It wasn't as sweet as he was thinking— he was just so used to pinot noir.
“Yeah,” He smacked his lips, “Still not a fan of chardonnay.”
Ganji rolled his eyes, “Well I still don't like dry wine.”