Work Text:
Dearest,
Cowardly, I know. Here I am again breaking your heart in letters like I did the first time things seemed to fall apart. Actually, it didn't fall apart at all, I was just too afraid. I had known where we would end up again and I don't wish to subject myself to that pain and torture. Still, there is no telling how much I hate to do this, especially the second time around, but you've broken my heart too.
It hasn't been three months since we've found each other again in planet Xoiugju and we've reconnected like we used to but something has changed. Still, some things had not. I had missed your arms that would carress me. All of me. The strength in your gaze, the flower in your words. I had missed being the thrill of being with THE Rick Sanchez.
Furthermore, I had missed your gaze. The hot breath on my multiple skins, the love adoration the filled my chest. My dear, I had missed being missed. I had missed you so dearly I didn't know how I had survived a my whole life without you after having had the pleasure to taste your presence in all different ways. You've always enchanted me.
You have shown me more of the universe than I can ever comprehend and dream to explore or even hope to unify. I was not jesting. You were always better than me at what I do, considering how you swallowed me whole and made me a part of you in just the few weeks that I had gotten back with you. You are threatheningly alluring, Rick Sanchez.
And it is so addicting to be with you once again. I had basked in both the glory and fame but I had also basked in your attention. I wanted you to need me, I needed you to need me. I will bend at your every whim and pleas and I will do so even if you don't ask me. Here I am proving once again that there is something wrong with me. just as there is something wrong with you.
But something I never thought could happen had happened in this short time we've been together. You've changed. I had always thought you were incapable of change and it made me know all the terrible things about me to be true but you have. You have changed and it made me think that this could finally be an excuse to stay.
Because it's almost as if you could love me the way I love you. But you don't. But it isn't.
But then again you almost do. You act as if you almost do. As if I had changed you. As if any day now, all the gentleness I caught glimpse of, would be directed towards me. Do you see the terrible wanting it feels me with? Do you see how terribly addicting "almost" is to me? Have you ever felt that close to something and still not attain it?
You have "almost" loved adored me the way I wanted you to. I was "almost" loved adored by you.
I could not believe it the first time. After seeing you again and reconciling, I had found you different. Softer around the edges. It was nothing big, I would have not noticed it if not for my innate obsession with you. I could not place it at first but then it clicked. Your eyes seemed a little lighter. I almost envied you.
It was a few weeks in that I trully noticed the difference. You had stopped smoking. You drink less. You've held had sex touch me less. It became as if I was just there merely for represantation of something. Something that you don't even need represented but you act like you do. I felt as though, i was merely a figure in the heirarchy you created in which you were on top of the multiversal foodchain.
The word "lover" came to mind but between you and me and you and Diane, we all know that didn't really bode well.
You had seemes almost inlove at peace. I did not understand or even accepted it at first but here we are. I would have been ecstatic if it had been for me. If your eyes grew softer for me, your words less as icy, and you being more accepting understanding. But it was not.
I am not naive, Rick Sanchez. I see the way you look at him. Even in a room full of all the treasures in the world, as we've previously been in. All the jewels that would have made your mouth water back in the day and instead you were gazing at the joy in his face. I am also not at lost to the morals of your little planet, Rick. I soon came to realize my role in this stupid little charade of yours.
I had loved you, Rick, I still do. This kind of love, I'm never going to feel this again. I only had it when you but you cannot, WILL NOT, continuously hurt me like this. You cannot pretend feelings for me when you've so clearly got it towards someone else. It is the cruelest thing you've done to me so far and you have done a lot.
I know of the certain attachments you have towards me. How my respect and undying obedience and loyalty comes so valuable for you, so irresistible. I know that you were never really heartbroken, only disappointed that someone who had loved you so dearly still wanted to get away from you. It was not your feelings that was hurt, it was your pride and your ego and whatever nasty thing you substitute for love.
This is not a way to live, I discovered. Being blind to the truth was not the way I had wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter how bad I wanted it. So, two months into our newly formed relationship, I finally decided to see for myself on what was trully happening.
It was the hottest day on planet 8IeNAT. I doubt you don't remember it. Me and my unified species worked around the clock to provide us with a little bit of ease since it would still take a while for you to harvest whatever resources you can from that planet. He was there too of course. He was always there with us whether it be for a mission or even a date.
You two were in a cave, mining some crystals that were too fragile for any equipment we had. Most of me were around the place, building cooling systems, or so you had thought. I had slipped one of my younger selves with you inside, crouched behind a rock. I was holding my knees in contempt and feeling very foolish for myself. I was also holding my breath.
You two were squabbling per usual. I closed my eyes and listened intently. I heard you start to get ticked off. I heard you inhale in irritation. I was so sure, so sure, that you were so close to blowing off on him. To ripping the poor kid apart.
And then he said something. Something stupid. Something that if I had said it before in the same situation, you would have shouted at me for being a supid idiot. You stopped and I thought, "this is it, here it comes." And then you laughed. A small chuckle, follow by a hearty laugh. You two bursts in a fit of giggles.
Dread washed over me. He makes you laugh
And then you dropped what you were holding and ruffled his hair. You stopped, staring into his eyes. He went quiet as well. And you two had just stood there gazing into each other's eyes and I was just watching you feeling so guilty like I was intruding on something holy. As if I should not be seeing this at all.
You reach for his cheeks and rubbed off the soot that had been adorning it. He took in a sharp breath and I saw your eyes gaze to the way his mouth opened and closed as though he was about to say something, share a secret, share a sin. And there it was, the softness of your gaze, the warmth of your arms, and that look.
How can I ever compete with him? He makes you love laugh.
You have only laughed with me ones. It was our third date. You shared something from your culture and I shared something from mine. You had found it so ridiculous you had been speechless for half a second and then started barking with laughter. I was so surprised I quickly joined in. You had never shared a laugh with me since.
After that, all I've seen are you two, no matter how hard I tried to look away. And I have tried countless of times. Back then, I had thought it was fine. You weren't going to go through with it. I am proof enough for it because if you hate one thing, it is useless things. And I am not useless if I am still by your side. Or so i tell myself.
But that is not enough for me anymore. I had always loved adored you, Rick Sanchez. I know I will still continue toadore you. I fear that no matter how long it is, I will still be looking back to these days, back to the days I've felt as though you were almost inlove at peace happy with me. i fear there will be no other man or woman after you. Just as I fear that there is no one else for you. Only Morty Smith.
Yours, and will forever be nobody else's,
Unity
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Rick finished reading the paper left at his work table. The ink is still fresh, just as it had been the first time it happened. If he wanted to, he can take his ship and fly after them. They were doing so good afterall, probably the best relationship he's had in years, it had sustained him of what little desires he had left. After all, when you're the smartest man in the universe, you get everything you want which leaves you to having little to no desires at all.
He sighs, crumpling the paper in his hand, and leaning back on his chair. He sipped from his flask just as he heard Morty entered the house, his cheerful voice travelling through the house, "I'm home!"
Just like clockwork, he heard the thump of his shoes towards the garage but not before his bag hit the floor by the stairs and he grabs an energy drink from the fridge. And then, the garage door is opening.
"Hey Rick!" the kid enthusiastically greeted as he popped up to view. Rick was leaning back in his chair gazing at the kid as he took another sip from his drink. Suddenly, the alcohol started tasting a bit more bitter in his mouth, he suddenly didn't need it as much.
"Are we going to see Unity again today?"
The old man tightened his hold on his flask but twisted it shut anyway. He groaned and burped, sneakily stashing the letter into his coat pocket along with the flask, he stood.
"No-urppp," a final burp, "not today, Morty." His name tasted too sweet in his mouth, it had been for the last couple of months. He grabbed the portal gun and another device, both stuffing them in his coat. "We're doing a solo adventure for now, a little one on one. No more of those romantic bullshit, you know?"
He ruffled the kid's hair, kid, and let his hand linger for a second longer. He noticed the blush dusting the kid's cheeks. He let his hand fall as the younger one brushed off his hair.
"Oh, Rick, not again? Did Unity leav-"
"Shush it, Morty" Rick hissed with no venom, "We're doing a guys night and we're enjoying it. Now get your shit together we're going to Boob World!" he shouted, spreading his arms in the air enthusiastically.
The kid was beside himself in excitement, "Really Rick? You mean it?" ecstatic, the kid pulled on Rick's shirt, tugging the soft material and then smoothing his shirt back, letting his hands rest on the older's chest. It tugged on Rick's heart instead. The letter peaked from his coat.
Like a secret which shouldn't be revealed. Like a prayer that should have been private. Rick swiftly pushed i further inside.
"'Course, kiddo," he pushed the kid lightly, urging him to detach, "Go pack, I'll prepare the ship. It's gonna be a few days worth of trip and i'm not wasting my portal fluid if you've forgotten a camera or your security blanket." Rick ruffled his head again and moved to turn his back on him but before he could do so, the brunette on his arms whooped in joy and jumped, kissing him on the cheeks.
"You're the best Rick!" he exclaimed, rushing out the door.
The old man stood still on his spot, his breathe ragged and face heated. He gingerly held two fingers to where the kid's mouth touched his cheeks and it burned him. It burned him from the inside out, shame spreading from his chest.
Unity's letter burns from his coat.