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Catra took a deep breath as she woke up. Today was one of the biggest days of her life. Angie, Catra’s daughter, came tumbling in, babbling about how excited she was for today. Because today was Angie’s first day of elementary school, “Mamá!” Angie beamed, crawling onto Catra’s bed to jump up and down, “it’s my first day!”
“Sé, baby,” Catra chuckled, scooping Angie into her arms but more importantly off the bed, “let me do up your hair, then we can have breakfast,”
“Ok!” Angie laughed, wriggling in Catra’s arms. Catra combed Angie’s blonde hair into little pigtails, careful to avoid her ears. She had the same ears as Catra,
“Mom’s meeting us there, okay?” Catra confirmed with her daughter,
“Ok!” Angie giggled again, “but you’ll be there too , right?”
“Of course,” Catra promised, hugging her daughter, “let’s go eat, yeah?” That sent Angie off. She ran into the kitchen, excited about her breakfast.
It didn't take long for Angie to scoff it down and before they knew it, they were in the car. Catra glanced at Angie in the rear view mirror, checking for the thousandth time that her buckle was still done. As they drove away, Angie began rambling about everything they were excited for. Catra just nodded, listening to her daughter until they arrived.
“Angie!” Adora beamed as they got out of the car. Angie ran into Adora and Adora picked her up, shuffling Angie onto her hip,
“Mom!” Angie laughed, pulling Adora close,
“Hey Adora,” Catra smiled briefly. Adora returned it,
“Hi,”
The whole separated parents thing wasn’t the greatest situation. It confused Angie a lot. But Adora and Catra tried to at least be nice to each other around their daughter, “c’mon, we need to goooo! ” Adora laughed at Angie's impatience and started moving. Catra followed along, “Mamá?”
“Yeah?” Catra responded,
“Can you come to Mom’s for dinner tonight?” It was not an uncommon occurrence for Catra to stay over at Adora’s or the other way around. It happened a lot when Angie was a lot younger. But they still did it occasionally, just for Angie,
“It’s fine by me,” Adora confirmed,
“Sounds good then,” Catra grinned. Adora put Angie on the ground as they arrived outside of the classroom. Angie suddenly looked nervous, “hey, what’s wrong?” Catra frowned, kneeling to Angie’s height, “you’re ready for this, remember? You had your special cereal this morning,”
“I know but…” Angie’s voice trailed off as she looked from side to side, “can you guys come in with me?”
“Of course,” Adora agreed with a big smile, “let’s go, Angie,” So they both held Angie's hand as they walked into the classroom. Everything looked straight out of a picture story book. All the bright colours made Catra feel a little sick,
“Look Mom!” Angie exclaimed, running over to the books. She grabbed out the Very Hungry Caterpillar, “can you read this to me? Please,” A wave of dizziness flushed through Adora and suddenly she was gripping onto Catra. Catra glanced over with confusion, noticing Adora swaying side to side. Catra understood,
“We gotta go, Angie. Mom will read it tonight,” Catra said, watching for Adora’s dizzy spell to fade,
“Nooo!” Angie cried,
Catra kissed the top of Angie’s head, “ojalá que tengas un buen día,”
“You can’t go!” She grabbed onto both her mother's legs,
“Angie,” Catra said with narrowed eyes, “come on,” Finally, the dizziness subsided and Adora felt like she could parent again. She shot a grateful look to Catra,
“We’ll be picking you up in no time!” Adora grinned, kneeling down to Angie,
“You promise?”
“I promise!” Adora confirmed. Angie let go, exhaling with relief,
“Ok… bye mamá, bye mom,” She smiled. Catra gave her a kiss on the head and Adora patted her back. They both left the classroom and suddenly they slipped back into their usual routine of hating each other,
“What was that dizzy spell in there?” Catra muttered, “you looked like you were about to faint,”
“It was nothing,” Adora snapped back, “you got the day off?” Adora asked, like she didn’t already know,
“Maybe,” Catra responded with a devilish grin, “why?”
“My house, see you there,” Adora said. Catra smirked as they separated in the car park. Catra pressed her foot on the accelerator, going ahead of Adora. She glanced in the mirror, watching as Adora got stuck in traffic whilst Catra drove away.
Upon arriving, Catra unlocked her door and left it open- she had the key for times like dropping Angie off but also for times like this. Adora finally arrived home a few minutes later, “Catra?”
“In the bedroom!” Catra called out. When Adora entered she saw no Catra… until-
Catra scared Adora from behind the door, jumping on her and feverishly kissing her, “you’re so immature,” Adora scowled as they kissed. Her heart was pounding from the fright Catra gave her,
“And you're such a control freak but you don’t hear me bitching about it every five seconds,” Catra spat back as Adora tugged Catra’s hair, angling her head so that she could kiss her neck better,
“I got a meeting in fifteen, make it quick,”
-
Catra understood the assignment. Adora found herself gasping for air as Catra pulled out off Adora. They laid side by side before Catra got up to use the bathroom, “Gross, Adora,” Catra called out, “you puked and didn’t even flush,”
“I was rushing and forgot,” Adora responded quietly. She was overwhelmed as she came down from her high alone- no Catra next to her to kiss and cuddle. That seemed to be their arrangement since they separated. They’d hook up because it was convenient but keep it impersonal. Or as impersonal as it could be when you know someone so well. Once Catra was finished in the bathroom she tugged her clothes back on,
“See you tonight,” Catra said on her way out and that was that. Adora sighed as she shuffled out of bed to put clothes on and opened her computer to join the meeting.
Catra was the one who picked up Angie from school. Adora had been swamped with work for the whole day and she hadn’t kept up for anything. She was beyond exhausted. When she trudged out of her at-home office she saw Angie and Catra in the loungeroom playing with cars, “ve a saludar a-” Catra’s words died in her throat when she saw Adora’s face, heavy eyebags sagging under her eyes and a tired smile wiped onto her face,
“Mom!” Angie beamed, careless of Catra’s hesitation. Angie threw herself into Adora and Adora let out a small ‘oof’, stumbling back a little,
“Hey Angie,” Catra said, “the cars are gonna crash into Sugarland unless I go talk to mom in the other room,” Angie gasped, running away from Adora and to the cars. Catra left the room and motioned for Adora to follow, “you look like shit,” Catra said once out of earshot from her daughter,
“Gee thanks,” Adora rolled her eyes, “I just had a long day. I’ll start dinner now,”
“Go take a nap. You’ll chop off your fingers if you try to cook,” Catra said, pulling out her phone. Adora saw her open UberEats,
“Don’t waste your money. I’m just a bit tired, but I can still cook,” Adora whined,
“I said go take a nap,” Catra said, in the same voice she used for Angie when they had to have serious conversations. Adora didn’t want to fight Catra’s stern tone and nodded, slinking away to the bedroom. She flopped onto the bed. She just needed a few minutes of sleep-
Adora woke up to her alarm blaring, followed by Angie running in, “Mom! I have school!” Adora rubbed her eyes and tilted her head, confused on why her daughter was saying she had school when it was still the evening-
It was 8:00am, the next day. Adora jolted up. Angie was going to be late and it was all Adora’s fault-
“Déjala dormir, Ángeles. Te llevaré a la escuela,” Catra called out to Angie. Angie groaned,
“But I want Mom to drive me!” Catra appeared from the guest room right as Adora started to shuffle up from bed. Adora sat up when her stomach curdled. Adora swore she was going to throw up like she did yesterday,
“Respóndeme en español, atrevido." Catra half-heartedly scolded Angie
“¡Quería que Mom me llevara, ya te lo dije!” Angie yelled. Catra and Adora’s eyes both shot over. Angie didn’t throw tantrums often, but she was only a kid. Sometimes her emotions got too overwhelming as they often do for children,
“Angie,” Adora warned in a measured tone, “what’s wrong?”
“You told me you’d read the book but you never did and you never said goodnight!” Angie let out a petulant cry and stomped her foot. Adora felt like an awful mother. She opened her arms for Angie who ran straight into them. Angie sniffed and hid her face in Adora’s chest. Catra rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, just standing there,
“I’m sorry. I've been a bit sick lately. You didn’t know because you were staying with Mama. Mama’s driving you because I don’t feel well,” Adora explained softly, patting Angie’s back. Her hair was already tied up and she was in her uniform. Catra already got Angie ready for school,
“Let’s go baby, I gotta get into the office,” Catra hummed,
“Say sorry to Mama for yelling at her,” Adora added in as Angie walked away,
“Lo siento,” Angie responded casually, like she didn’t just throw a tantrum, “bye mom,”
“Bye Angie,”
Catra and Angie walked off to the car. “I don’t wanna talk in Spanish right now,” Angie mumbled to Catra once she was buckled in,
“That’s okay baby, we can talk in English,” Catra smiled, “what’s got you upset? You haven’t screamed like that since you were little,”
“I’m scared,” Angie admitted. Catra’s eyes flashed up to the rear-view mirror to see Angie looking down nervously and twiddling her fingers, “I don’t want you and Mom to fight like you did last year,” Catra took a deep breath, biting the inside of her lip,
“That’s never going to happen again. I’m sorry we put you through that. It must’ve been so scary. But I promise that you’ll never see us fighting again,” Catra assured. Angie nodded and stared at her feet,
“What’s happening with Mom?” Angie frowned, making a massive pout, “she never forgets to wish me goodnight,”
“I dunno,” Catra responded honestly, “I think she’s just a bit sick at the moment,”
-
Adora was shaking. Everything had gone to shit.
First order of business was to tell Catra.
She drove over to Catra’s work, but her mind was elsewhere. She couldn’t think straight, her head was all over the place.
Adora walked straight into Catra’s work, which was an average office job. Catra was important enough to have her own office. Adora's plan was to ask Catra to go into the office so they could talk. Clearly it wasn’t working.
As soon as Catra made eye contact with Adora, she scowled, pausing a conversation with a coworker to address Adora, “What are you doing here?” She hissed,
“Can we go to your office?” Adora muttered, noticing that other people were looking at them. There was lots of chatter and a lack of privacy, “I need to talk to you,”
“I’m busy. We can talk when you drop Angie off at mine,” Catra dismissed her, resuming her conversation with her coworker. Adora stood there awkwardly, waiting for it to end. When it did, Catra walked away and started speaking to another person,
“Catra please, it’s serious,” Adora urged, grabbing Catra’s wrist,
“ No , I said I’m busy,” She tugged her wrist back, “go talk to Sparkles or something,”
“No I need to tell you ,” Adora frowned, “stop being stubborn,” Catra took a deep breath to stop herself from yelling at Adora in front of everyone,
“Fine then,” Catra bit back with a fake smile, “tell me,” She turned to Adora with crossed arms,
“Can we-”
“No, say it right now or you're wasting my time,” Catra snapped, clearly having no patience
“I’m pregnant,” Adora admitted in a quiet voice. Tears welled in her eyes and embarrassment ran through her. Catra’s eyes shot wide,
“ Shit. I’m so sorry I made you say that,” Catra responded. She pulled Adora into a hug. Adora needed it so bad. She accepted the warmth for a moment before pulling away,
“I just- can-”
“Let’s go to my office, sorry Adora,” Catra whispered, holding Adora’s hand as she led her away, “is that why you’ve been sick and dizzy?” Catra finally asked when they were in the privacy of her office. It all made sense now; the vomit in the toilet, the dizzy spell Adora had on Angie’s first day and the fatigue,
“Yeah. I didn’t realise it until just before though,” Adora responded sheepishly,
“It’s mine, right?” Catra said. She had to confirm. Adora nodded, eyes glued to the desk. Catra reached over and held Adora’s hands rubbing them gently, “I’m sorry this is happening,”
“It’s fine,” Adora sniffed, pulling one of her hands away to wipe her face, “remember a few weeks ago when…”
“Oh,” Catra whispered,
“I’m gonna get an abortion. I just need you to take care of Angie this week. I know it's supposed to be-”
“That’s fine but who’s taking care of you?” Catra asked, “Can Glimmer or Bow stay over?”
“They’re at Mystacore for the week, I’ll be fine,” Adora dismissed. Catra hesitated, tapping her foot on the floor,
“Are you getting a surgical abortion?” Catra asked quietly,
“No, just the pills,” Adora responded,
“You still shouldn’t do it alone, I’ll stay with you for a bit,” Catra said,
“You hate me, and I’m not exactly in the mood to put up with that when I’ll be going through an abortion,” Adora muttered,
“I don’t hate you,” Catra narrowed her eyes,
“It sure seems like it after what you did last year,” Adora shot back,
“Don’t fucking bring it up,” Catra warned as she crossed her arms,
“Well I’m still not over it! How could you promise to marry me and then cheat on me with your boss!” Adora’s voice raised to a yell. Catra wanted to rip her hair out,
“I never kissed him!” Catra yelled back,
“Don’t give me this bullshit again, you know I saw it!”
“For fucks sake, it was him !” Catra screamed. Her eyes welled up with tears,
“What difference does that make?” Adora barked back,
“You know what?” Catra hissed, “he…” Catra’s throat choked up and her hand went to hold her neck. She blinked the tears down her face, trying to find the strength
“Nothing you say can change what you did,” Adora finally responded in a gravelly voice. It was the dagger in Catra’s chest that told her to fuck it,
“I didn’t consent,” Catra spat. She had never admitted it to anyone. Adora's heart fell out of her chest. It was all Adora needed to see the truth- that Catra had been sexually assaulted. The words burned Catra’s throat and made her feel sick. Adora couldn’t feel her body,
“What?” She responded in a hoarse whisper. Adora couldn’t say anything else. Catra let the silence drag on, until she couldn’t bear Adora’s presence,
“But nothing I say can change what I did, yeah? It’s all my fault, right? So get out,” Catra whispered, eyes casted to the floor, “go,”
“I didn't-”
“I said go!” She yelled, tears falling from her eyes as she did so. Adora didn’t move, her face pale and her eyes wide like she’d witnessed a murder,
“You never told me,” Adora whispered, a stray tear falling down her cheek. She couldn’t bear knowing that she’d blamed Catra when Catra had been assaulted. It made Adora feel like the worst person to ever exist,
“When you came into my office and saw him groping and kissing me, you looked at me like I was the most disgusting thing in this world. I already felt that fucking way and seeing you agree was the nail in the coffin. I realised you never loved me if you thought I’d ever cheat on y-” Catra cut herself off as the door opened. The girl who opened the door immediately flushed,
“I’m sorry for interrupting-”
“It’s fine. Perfect timing actually, we just finished talking. What’s up?” Just like that, Catra switched off her emotions and left the room. Adora was alone, left to pick up the pieces of what she was told and try to fit them in with what she already knew.
After Adora left, Catra sent a brief message saying she would be picking up Angie. Adora tried to call Catra but Catra hung up immediately, then silenced Adora’s number. Adora dropped by the pharmacy to get the pills then headed home.
Adora got home and with a shaky hand, swallowed the first pill. An hour later she heard the door open, “Mom!” Angie laughed out,
“Ella sigue enferma. Déjala descansar,” Catra chased after Angie who found Adora in the kitchen,
“Hey Angie!” Adora beamed, grabbing her daughter under her arms and hoisting her into the air. Angie let out a fit of giggles, grasping for Adora’s nose. Adora laughed and kissed her daughter, pretending like her day hadn’t been incredibly difficult, “I gotta talk to you about something, both Mama and I do,” Catra looked over and tilted her head. Adora mouthed ‘abortion’ and Catra’s face got even more concerned, but she trusted Adora so she nodded confusedly, “let’s go and sit on the couch, yeah?”
“Is this because of Eliza?” Angie pouted, “me and Mamá already talked about it-”
“No, baby,” Catra assured, “it’s about mom,” Once they were all seated on the couch, Adora took a deep breath,
“You know how Mama said I was sick? Well turns out it’s worse than a cold,” Adora started. She was beyond nervous, “in two days I’m gonna be having special medicine that’s going to make me feel very bad for about a day before I can get better. It might mean we don’t do our special routines like playing with your cars or reading a book,”
“I don’t get it, how’d you get sick enough to need medicine?” Angie tilted her head, in the same way Catra did a few moments ago. Her ears were pinned to the back of her head with worry. Adora was trying to figure out how to explain it when Catra piped up,
“Y’know how mistakes have consequences?” Catra prefaced. Angie nodded, her tail swaying behind her and thumping against the couch, “sometimes the consequences aren’t fair. Like today at school, when you got in trouble for shoving Eliza off you when she hit you. Well Mom and I made a mistake, and the consequences ended up hurting Mom a lot unfortunately,” Adora thought about what Catra said for a long moment. Catra always had a way of explaining things to Angie and making things make sense, “that's why she needs the medicine,”
“Oh,” Angie sighed,
“I know. It’s a lot to think about, isn’t it baby?” Catra smiled softly, pulling her into a side-hug,
“But I’m supposed to spend more time with Mom this week,” Angie sighed. Catra nodded understandingly. Adora put a hand on Angie’s shoulder when she went to speak,
“I need you to spend a little extra time with Mama whilst I go through this. We’ll get to spend some time together when I get better and I’ll take you out for ice cream. Deal?”
“Deal,” Angie grinned.
Later that evening it was just Angie in bed and Catra sitting next to her. Catra finished the last of Angie’s second story book when she finally wished her daughter goodnight, “Buenas noches, Ángeles,” Catra kissed the top of Angie’s head,
“I think you made a mistake when you named me, Mamá. Did you know Ángeles means more than one angel?” She asked, lips pulled into a cocky smirk just the way Catra did. Catra let out a soft chuckle,
“Yes, cheeky, but it's on purpose. Because you and Mom are angels,” Catra said softly, nervous to utter the words because her and Adora weren’t dating anymore. But no matter what, Adora would always be the mother who helped bring Angie into this world, and that made her an angel in Catra’s eyes, “When Mom told me to pick your name, I wanted you to have your mom in your name. To show how she’s a part of you,” Angie’s lips formed a small ‘o’ shape,
“Well, you’re my mom too, right?” Angie asked. Catra nodded and stifled a laugh. Angie still thought there was a difference between mom and Mamá because they were different languages, “and Ángeles doesn’t mean only two . It just means more than one. So I think you’re also an angel in my name,” Angie said, which didn’t entirely make sense but Catra understood nonetheless,
“You’re wonderful, Angie. Sleep well,”
“Buenas noches, mamá. Te quiero,”
“Te quiero, mi cielo,” Catra smiled at her daughter before she turned off the light and shut the door. She made her way over to the guest room of Adora’s house letting the muscles in her body relax. The day had been long and stressful and she knew Adora was gonna talk to her eventually-
“Hey,” Adora said. She was sitting on the bed as Catra entered the guest room, “can we talk?”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Catra cut her off curtly. Adora’s face was taunt with stress, “please, I don’t wanna talk. I just want to sleep. I’m tired,” Adora’s eyes flicked to the ground and she nodded. She got up when Catra grabbed her hand. Adora sent Catra a confused look,
“I thought you wanted me to go,”
“I said I didn’t wanna talk,” Catra repeated. Adora blinked for a few moments, glancing at Catra’s grip on her wrist, “stay,” Catra finally said.
So Adora did. She engulfed Catra in a hug, one that Catra reciprocated without second thought. They walked over to Adora’s bedroom and collapsed on the bed. They were unexplainably close. There was no reason for Adora and Catra to be so intertwined with each other, weaved like a tapestry. But they both needed this, in the same way they needed air to live. Adora buried her face into Catra’s hair,
“I was just thinking about what you told Angie. About mistakes. I made one, a really big one,” Adora admitted, though it was no secret, “I blamed you and our whole family suffered for it. I’m so sorry, Catra. I was too hurt and too tunnel visioned on the fact that someone had kissed you that I didn’t stop and think that maybe you didn’t want it,”
“It’s not your fault,” Catra whispered,
“It is, though,” Adora said back. It only seemed to make Catra angry,
“Stop it,” She scowled. Her hands shook and they clenched the sheets for all the wrong reasons. Tears beaded in her eyes,
“Catra?”
“Don’t you get it? It was his fault. He took so much from me,” Catra rasped. It shook Adora just how beautiful Catra sounded even when saying the most devastating things, “our marriage, my comfort, your love for me,”
“ No . You’ll always have my love. No one can take that away,” Adora promised, holding Catra in a hug. Catra had felt so cold without Adora’s love. Now finding out it was there all along made her feverish, still feeling cold but in reality burning , “how can I show you? How can I love you?”
“Just hold me, please,” Catra felt pathetic for requesting it, “I don’t want anything more… I just want-” Adora’s hands held Catra, rubbing the back of her shoulders. Catra let out a stressed trill.
“I love you, Catra,” Adora assured, “earlier, you said that I never loved you. Well that’s bullshit. I love you with every inch of my being. I was just trying to make sense of a situation that I didn’t understand and I acted rashly. But I have always loved you and I always will love you,”
“I love you,” Catra hadn’t gotten to say those words in a year. Saying them was like letting go of a breath she had been holding in.
This was good. This was helping. Everything was almost okay-
“Mamá? Mom?” Angie tilted her head as she saw her two mothers in bed, “I had a nightmare. Can I sleep in here,” Adora and Catra looked at eachother, before shuffling apart and making room for Angie in between them,
“Of course, baby,” Catra smiled. Angie jumped in, snuggling into the space between Adora and Catra and purring as they hugged her, “I love you two,”
“We love you too,”
Everything was okay.