Work Text:
“I’m just saying, you give German Shepherd energy!”
Hannah doesn’t know what she’s more amused by, Sebastian’s earnest enthusiasm or the withering look Tammy shoots them in reply.
“Baby, you need to stop hanging out with Gen Z gamers,” she sighs long-sufferingly while Hannah hides her chuckle in her beer, “they’re effecting your speech patterns.”
“Oh, but they’re fascinating-” their eyes shine as he taps his fingers animatedly on the edge of the bar- “going high-key feral for things, experiencing gay panic and do you know how many times I've been asked my pronouns before being absolutely verbally destroyed?”
She’s distracted when Tammy turns to her, reaching out an entwining their fingers under the bar.
“I also experience gay panic,” she replies, smiling lovingly at Hannah like they have a precious little secret.
Feeling warmly – yet quite unapologetically – sappy, she finds herself smiling back.
“I know,” Sebastian – doomed to be their eternal third wheel – mutters under his breath.
Instantly, Tammy’s head snaps around to glare at them, still grasping her hand under the bar, and they hold up their hands in surrender.
Having successfully cowed him, she suggests, “Maybe I’m a cat then? I’m aloof.”
“You are not aloof,” Hannah interjects instantly, squeezing her hand when she shoots her a fond look.
“Come on, you’re totally a dog,” he insists vehemently, “a German Shepherd.”
“How?!”
“Because they’re bouncy and playful and they do that cute little head tilt thing…” they catch sight of her expression and gulp, quickly changing direction, “and they’re highly intelligent and they could totally pull me apart if I look at them wrong.”
She raises an eyebrow, seemingly pondering the suggestion for a while, then asks, “What breed would Hannah be?”
Startled, Hannah shoots her a reproachful look that asks why she would bring her into this but her girlfriend just winks unrepentantly.
After taking a sip of his beer, they reply decidedly, “A Saluki. They’re elegant and they have amazing ears.”
At first Hannah simply blinks, not quite sure how she’s supposed to reply to that.
Then it takes everything in her to frown instead of laugh when she catches sight of Tammy’s incredulous expression.
“I don't know whether I'm supposed to be offended by that,” she offers eventually.
“It's simply an observation!”
Tammy snips, “Yeah and about as flattering as you calling me a German Shepherd.”
“I love German Shepherds!”
“You're allergic to them,” she deadpans and Hannah can’t hold back a snigger.
Sebastian eyes her mournfully, protesting, “Doesn't mean I can't appreciate them. Just… can't go within ten feet of them.”
“It's a good job I'm not a German Shepherd then, isn't it?” she rolls her eyes, “you wouldn't be able to go in your own house.”
“I would hate that, I like living with you.”
Their voice is sincere and she knows it’s a sentiment Tammy shares, not having to see her face to know her expression is soft for a moment before she warns, “Don't go all mushy on me now, Sebastian, I will sit on you.”
“....okay then?-” they contort their face- “that's a weird threat.”
“I'll take that as an invitation,” she declares, dropping their joined hands and diving towards his chair.
Just as they’re about to disappear beneath her, he protests, “Hey, at least you’re a great police dog!”
She pauses, head tilted in thought, “Wait, would I be a German Shepherd or a Belgian Malinois?”
“What’s the difference?” Sebastian asks, bewildered and she narrows her eyes.
“Everything.”
“But what specifically though, otherwise how would we know which you are?”
She doesn’t reply, only scoffs, throwing herself back in her seat in a defence that Hannah privately understands means she doesn’t actually know what the difference is. Just that there is one.
“Well, which breed are you?” she deflects expertly.
“Come on,” they motion to themselves, “obviously Golden Retriever.”
“Hmm, no,” pretending to think deeply, she shakes her head, “I’m thinking more spaniel. Springer maybe.”
“But they’re tiny! Wouldn’t I be something big like, uh, like a Great Dane!”
“Nah baby, we’re going off energy here, remember? Those big dogs are much too intimidating looking for you. Nah, definitely a Springer Spaniel. Floppy ears, sad eyes…”
There’s a teasing twitch to her eyebrows that Hannah delights in seeing but Sebastian just rolls his eyes, picking at the label on his beer.
“Nice, okay, thanks.”
“Hey,” she bats his shoulder, “you brought it up…”
“Okay, okay, come on guys,” Hannah breaks in, seeing that the conversation is about to devolve into a full-out argument, “he’s clearly an Irish Wolfhound. Tall, loyal-” Sebastian throws a satisfied ‘see’ look at Tammy but she continues slyly- “scruffy.”
They splutter, ruffling their own hair in protest as Tammy throws back her head in laughter and Hannah smirks into her drink.
“I’m being ganged up on,” they bemoan, dropping his head into his arms dramatically.
“Aw, come on!” Hannah pokes at his shoulder, “you wouldn’t want me to tell Naomi about your pouting, would you?”
“Oof, emotional manipulation-“ they lift their head to shake it in mock sorrow- “that’s a low blow, Khoury.”
She chuckles, “Yeah, well, I gotta do what I gotta do.”
Tammy smirks at her, eyebrows twitching a fraction in amusement and heat as she leans closer to murmur, “Hmm, super sexy secret spy.”
“You know I was never actually-“
Any protest that she was never technically a spy is cut off when her girlfriend seals their lips together and she melts defencelessly into it.
“Guys, come on!” Sebastian groans, letting his head fall back onto the bar top with a soft thump.
She feels the smirk against her lips and knows Tammy is going to mess with them, lifting her hands to her jaw to make it seem like she’s deepening the kiss.
“Looks like I’m getting the next round then.”
Hannah pulls away at that, booping her girlfriend on the nose when she scrunches her face adorably in disappointment while calling cheerfully, “Thank you, Sebastian!”
The look he shoots her has fond amusement seeping into it and she grins.
Anchored comfortably to her side by the arm still looped around her waist, Tammy grumbles good-naturedly, “German Shepherd my ass.”