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What was the syringe doing in Matthew’s hand?
Jin froze the moment he saw it, his heart sinking. At first, it didn’t register, but then the pieces fell into place. The way his mind had been clouded, the drowsiness that overtook him time and again, it all made sense. Matthew had been sedating him. The realization hit Jin like a wave, cold and crushing. His trusted refuge had crossed a line he never saw coming, shattering the fragile sense of safety Jin had clung to.
When Jin had first stumbled into Matthew’s place, he had been in bad shape. The people he had escaped from had pumped him full of drugs, among them, an aphrodisiac. His body was burning with confusion, a tangled mess of fear and unwanted desire. All he could think of was finding Matthew, the one person he thought he could trust, the person he needed more than anything. He had fought so hard to survive just to get back to him.
When Matthew opened the door, Jin was desperate, vulnerable in a way he hadn’t been in years. He needed Matthew to be his anchor, his escape from everything that had been done to him. But instead, now he had to grapple with the horrifying truth that Matthew had been secretly sedating him, taking advantage of his vulnerable state. It felt like the ultimate betrayal, twisting Jin’s already fragile trust into something unrecognizable.
“What’s this?”
Jin had asked, his voice shaky, desperately hoping for an answer that would make sense of it all. He needed to believe there was some reasonable explanation.
But instead of clarity, Matthew’s response cut deeper. He didn’t just justify his actions, he twisted the knife further, trying to gaslight Jin.
“You hated the warden for being a junkie, and warned me to stay away from drugs, but look at you,” Matthew sneered. “You sold drugs yourself. How are you any different?”
Jin’s stomach twisted at the words. It was as if Matthew was trying to unravel his reality, turning the blame back on him. The betrayal stung deeper because Matthew knew exactly what buttons to press, the guilt and shame Jin had worked so hard to bury.
Jin was furious. Without a second thought, he grabbed his clothes, pulling them on hastily, his hands trembling with rage.
Why?
Of all people, why would Matthew do this to him? Fury surged through Jin’s veins. He had trusted Matthew more than anyone. All his life, people had used him, abused him, treated him like nothing. But Matthew?
“You came to me, Jin.”
The words grated on him. The sheer audacity.
‘I came to you because I thought you were different,’ Jin wanted to scream. ‘I thought you were my safe haven.’
But maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe Matthew wasn’t the sanctuary he had believed him to be.
Matthew had claimed he was protecting him, but Jin couldn’t shake the creeping doubt. Hadn’t Brandon said the same things when he kept Jin hooked on drugs, manipulating him through guilt? The betrayal felt like a dagger twisting in his chest, reminding him of the control Brandon used to wield. Jin had once thought he could trust Matthew with his life, but now... maybe he needed to protect himself from Matthew too.
Jin rushed toward the door, his heart pounding in his chest. He didn’t want to hear any of Matthew’s excuses or pleas. Matthew had crossed a line, one Jin couldn’t ignore. The betrayal was too deep, too painful. He needed to get away before the hurt consumed him entirely.
“Just this once... can't you choose me?”
‘What did this punk even know?’ Jin’s thoughts were sharp and bitter.
Jin had run straight to Matthew in the worst, most broken moment of his life, If that wasn’t choosing him, then what was? His mind reeled at the absurdity of it. After everything he’d been through—drugged, violated, hunted—he could have gone anywhere, sought refuge with anyone. But he chose Matthew. In his lowest, most vulnerable moment, the only person he thought of, the only person he trusted to protect him, was Matthew.
Jin’s frustration burned hot. It was Matthew he had fought so hard to reach, the one he’d clung to as his world collapsed. If running to him in that state wasn’t proof of his choice, then what more did Matthew want? He could barely contain his anger. How dare Matthew question him, after all the times Jin had risked everything just to be by his side?
He had barely escaped people who wanted to destroy him, who had drugged him and probably planned far worse. The memory of fighting tooth and nail to survive surged through him. Before meeting Matthew, Jin had been reckless, never caring whether his actions brought him closer to death. But now... now he had someone to go back to. For the first time, self-preservation wasn’t a fight against the world, it was a fight for someone waiting for him.
He had to live. He had to get back to Matthew. That was all he thought as he clawed his way out of that nightmare.