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Death was warmer than Lucy had expected. Her own flesh had lost its live-giving warmth and that meant that even the cool night air around her graveyard seemed strangely warm against her pale skin. Another thing she hadn’t expected was the almost painful longing – the hunger and need – eating her up from the inside. Her throat was ablaze with a fire that she knew could only be extinguished with fresh blood but the twist in her unmoving heart, while more familiar, managed to overpower even the now ever-present thirst.
She wasn’t sure how long she fought against that need after waking up in her own coffin – longer than she held out against the thirst – even as every waking and dreaming thought was overtaken by the growing yearning she had tried to ignore for years – before she could no longer deny herself. Almost in a trance but still vaguely aware of where she was going, she let her bare feet carry her home, to the place her heart had stopped beating, the place at which she hoped to finally be freed from her seemingly endless pain, even for just a moment. She couldn’t have stopped herself even if she had wanted to and she also simply didn’t care about holding back anymore.
Despite the distance and the need to stay hidden, it took no time at all to reach her mother’s house, to scale the wall until she was clutching to the sill of her bedroom window, the room they had shared. Once there, she hesitated, unsure of how to proceed. Bursting in might ruin what was most likely her only chance to be truly happy. No, this required caution and she would not risk her one chance at happiness by simply barging in no matter how much everything inside her screamed to do just that.
She was still right there, on the other side of that thin sheet of glass, in a bed far too big for just one person yet she was alone. Lucy could see her, smell her, feel her, and all she wanted was to get closer and take the most beautiful person she had ever laid eyes upon into her arms again, to hold her and kiss her and have her even closer than ever before, but doing so without warning might scare the perfect woman before her and that was the last thing Lucy wanted.
But she looked exhausted so waking her by knocking on the window and asking to be let in would have been cruel, too. Eventually, Lucy just settled on opening the window herself, making sure to be as quiet as possible. Once she was finally inside, she went to stand by the bed, content to just watch Mina as she slept and to wait for her to wake up. That changed when the sleeping woman sniffled and a closer look at her face revealed that she was crying in her sleep. Judging by the red blotches on her face, she had probably been doing so for a while.
The need to let Mina rest suddenly became less important, almost completely replaced by the need to comfort, to protect her from having to experience further discomfort or pain. Before she knew what was happening and without making the conscious decision to move, Lucy was by her side, sitting on top the comforter next to the sleeping woman, a cold hand nearly touching her face. She stayed like that, frozen in place, until a sob broke the silence in the room, then her instincts took over again and she pulled the crying woman into her arms, holding her close and rocking her gently.
Mina melted into her arms at first, even letting out a contented sigh. Then, she suddenly went stiff and pushed Lucy away with shaking arms. There wasn’t much strength in it but Lucy still gave her the space she needed, staying close enough to keep some physical contact but letting her breathe as much as she needed to.
If Lucy’s heart hadn’t already stopped beating when she died, it would have done so when she saw the expression on Mina’s face. The normally composed woman looked like an absolute mess. Her red-rimmed eyes were wide and her mouth hung open slightly. It looked like she couldn’t decide if she should be relieved or terrified so she just settled on confused, instead. It was hard but Lucy patiently waited for her to gather her thoughts and speak up. She had already been waiting for years, she could let Mina set the pace and wait a few moments more.
“What are you doing here? And how? You are dead, I know you are! I went to the funeral, I saw your corpse!”
She was crying even more now and Lucy reached out to her again, intending to hold her until she could breathe freely, but Mina flinched away from her, fear now written across her face. She was looking at Lucy like she was a monster, like she would hurt her, and that was more heartbreaking than anything else she had ever experienced. It would have brought tears to her own eyes if they had still been able to form them.
Mina was staring at her, wide-eyed and shaking in her nightgown, and Lucy froze in place while she waited for her to figure out how she wanted to continue. They both remained like that, unmoving, just looking at each other in silence for a long time. It took much longer than Lucy had expected for Mina to calm down again, but she eventually relaxed and nodded, not moving closer to Lucy yet but at least indicating that she didn’t have to stay away any longer, and that she could finally explain what was going on, at least as much as she herself understood the situation.
“I am not sure how I am able to move around myself, though I don’t think I am alive any longer. Maybe I just missed you so much that not even death could stop me from returning to your side. But that’s not how the world works, I know that. I think we both know how I am really here, though I don’t feel like a demon or a monster or anything like that. I still feel like I always have, but more somehow.”
Lucy wasn’t sure what she was saying, the words simply spewed forth from her mouth and floated through the empty space between them towards Mina, who listened just as attentively as she always had. She didn’t look like she fully believed what Lucy was saying but she listened, and for the moment, that could be enough. As long as Mina didn’t push her away, Lucy could find a way to prove that she would never do anything to harm the woman across from her in any way, even if she wasn’t entirely sure how to do that just yet.
Mina kept looking at her long after Lucy stopped talking, analyzing every part of her face in search for any changes, any indication that her dearest friend had become too much like the demon they had fought against together. There were some visible changes, most notably the unnatural paleness veiling Lucy’s features and the way her previously small teeth had extended far past their natural state, sharper than any human would have, but beneath all of that, she was still her dearest friend, the woman she loved.
Even the last traces of fear and doubt left her mind as she continued to watch Lucy, who had started playing with the hems of her sleeves and staring intently at the spot where her bare feet met the wooden floor of Mina’s bedroom. She wanted to look at Mina again – she never wanted to not be looking at her – but the fear of seeing rejection in her eyes paralyzed Lucy so much that she could do nothing but stand there until Mina spoke once more.
“What does it feel like, to be the way you are now? Are you in pain?”
Of course Lucy had expected questions like this to come up eventually, but now that Mina had asked them, her mind refused to accept that she had been met with anything other than outright rejection. She had been prepared for that, had already considered the best way to leave the room as soon as Mina voiced her disgust or fear, so genuine care and curiosity surprised her so much it took a moment before she could answer.
“Freeing, and like I am no longer weak and sickly the way I used to be. My senses have grown stronger and I no longer grow tired nearly as fast as before, though there are also some things that cause discomfort and even pain now. But mostly I just miss you.”
She still didn’t dare taking even one step closer to her friend, but Mina clearly had no such reservations and made her way to Lucy’s side until she was standing directly in front of her, close enough that their faces were nearly touching and their toes bumped into each other. Lucy longed to be even closer, but Mina was already upset and she didn’t want to cross any more lines tonight.
The room already felt much warmer, but there was still a slight chill in the air that could only be soothed by Mina’s body once again pressing against her own. Unfortunately, she looked like she barely even believed Lucy was there at all, so the newly dead woman would have to content herself with memories of bygone moments and the sweetness of Mina’s voice, even if it only lasted for a moment before she fell silent again.
“You do?”
Lucy couldn’t understand how Mina could possibly ask that, how she did not already know that Lucy had spent nearly every waking moment of her life thinking about her, longing to be by her side whenever they were parted and dreading the moment they would part ways again whenever they were together. She hadn’t thought any of this would need explaining, but Mina clearly needed to hear exactly how Lucy felt, and she was more than willing to give her just that.
“Of course, I always miss you when we’re not together. That’s why I came back here, even after everything that happened. I just wanted to see you again, even though I thought you would probably just send me away.”
There were tears that shouldn’t exist gathering in Lucy’s eyes, threatening to spill over, because of how much she meant every single word she said, and how desperately she needed Mina to understand, even just a little bit, how deeply Lucy cared for her, how much she loved her. She just hoped that her worst fear would not come true and Mina would not reject her, even if she was mentally as prepared for exactly that as she could be. The relief that filled Lucy’s mind at the response took her breath away for a long moment.
“I would never send you away! I know that things have changed but you are still just as dear to me as you have always been, and I would love nothing more than to never be apart from you again.”
She said it like she truly meant it, almost like she was offended Lucy could have ever thought otherwise. It was thrilling to see her so passionate about something again after the state of trance-like shock she appeared to have been in before Lucy’s question broke her free from it. Now she finally looked and sounded like herself again and Lucy nearly cried from happiness and relief.
A moment later, Mina’s arms were around her and Lucy finally felt complete again. She hadn’t even noticed how much she had missed this until she was finally being held by the woman she loved once more. Her arms shook when she brought them up to return Mina’s affection, and her voice sounded small and pathetic even to her own ears.
“Do you truly mean that?”
Mina tightened her arms in response and Lucy let herself melt into their comfort completely. She really was crying now, rivers of brilliant scarlet running down her face and staining Lucy’s pale neck a deep red. She would have apologized for it but her lips refused to form the words and not a single sound made it past her throat. Mina clearly had no such qualms, and her voice was as clear and steady as it had always been.
“I do.”
It sounded so simple from her lips, leaving no space for doubt even in Lucy’s anxious mind. She felt almost silly for her earlier insecurity but couldn’t find it in herself to truly mind, not when it had lead to Mina holding her close and running her gentle fingers through Lucy’s freely flowing hair. She had always loved when Mina touched her hair, something that not even her death could have changed.
She was so absorbed in the familiar sensation that a long time passed before the deeper implications of everything they had just said came to the forefront of her mind. Once they did, though, there was no holding them back any longer. She clung to Mina like her un-life depended on it and squeezed her eyes and mouth shut, suddenly battling a strange pressure in her teeth that seemed to be urging her to bite.
It was harder than it should have been to hold herself back, and only the fear of hurting Mina and the love for her gave Lucy the strength to pull her face away from her neck – from the sweet blood pulsing away just beneath that perfectly smooth skin – at least long enough to voice the wish that was now taking over her entire mind and filling her with desperate longing.
“I think I could make you like me if that is what you want. That way, we could really be together forever. I should warn you, though; the transformation is somewhat painful at first…”
Lucy almost expected Mina to pull away in horror at the suggestion, but was pleasantly surprised when she didn’t even tense against her and remained calm and quiet even as Lucy’s face returned to her throat. She took a deep breath, smelling and tasting Mina, still desperate for more. She wouldn’t bite, though, not unless Mina wanted her to, told her directly to sink her teeth deep into her delicate skin and drink the delicious liquid calling to her from underneath it.
She bit her own tongue instead. Her own blood didn’t taste nearly as inviting as Mina’s smelled but it at least lessened the sudden and rather violent urges that had started to fill every corner of her mind until she could think of nothing else. Her mind still didn’t clear entirely, but the fog of hunger at least lifted enough that she could hear Mina speaking, her voice low and all-consuming in her ears.
“I think I would like that.”
Her words were like honey, seeping into Lucy’s ears and spreading across her brain slowly and covering it until they drowned out every other thought with their sweetness. They were heavy and slow-moving and Lucy didn’t understand them at first, but as soon as she did, it was as if she had suddenly been tossed into cold water. Her mind – previously slow and dream-like – awoke with a start and immediately started conjuring up images of Mina transformed, Mina like her, with her. The pressure in her jaw returned full-force and her words came out panted more than spoken.
“Shall I do it now? I will have to bite you, just so you know. But I promise to be gentle, just for you.”
Lucy knew that she sounded more desperate than ever before but that didn’t stop her dead heart from racing in her chest or her eyes from widening in excitement. It was thrilling just to think about it, but Mina truly didn’t seem to mind at all. She was even pulling her hair to the side to expose even more of her skin to Lucy’s hungry eyes. It was almost like she was trying to lure her in, just as desperate to be bitten and consumed as Lucy was to bite and to consume.
Still, she held herself back and bit another chunk out of her own tongue instead. It might have been clear that they both wanted this, but she would never do anything to harm Mina, at least not until she got her explicit verbal consent to finally sink her aching teeth into that pulsing vein and make Mina like her, no matter how tempting the thought was or how obviously Mina was exposing her neck to Lucy, begging her to just give in.
“Yes, please…”
Luckily, Mina didn’t make her wait too much longer. She sounded just as breathlessly desperate as Lucy felt and they were both shaking with anticipation. As soon as the last sound left Mina’s lips, before she could even close her mouth, Lucy was on her neck again, pulling her own lips back and sinking her unnaturally sharp teeth into her soft flesh. They broke her skin with ease and then the sweet nectar of life gushed into Lucy’s mouth and everything else faded away into nothingness.
Even with this blood-fuelled euphoria completely overtaking her mind, Lucy still heard Mina’s strangled moan. It sounded somewhere between pain and pleasure and a similar sound escaped Lucy’s own blood-stained lips in response. Her jaw tensed and her needle-like teeth sunk further into Mina’s lovely neck, ruining the previously flawless skin to make it even more beautiful and sucking the very life from her veins until they were the same once more.