Work Text:
The last place Bobby ever expected his career as a firefighter to take him would be behind the set of a Hollywood TV drama.
But here he was, acting as a technical advisor to the brand new firefighting TV drama, Hot Shots, that would be released in a couple months. ‘Acting’ being the keyword here, since it seemed that none of the writers or producers were taking his advice or expertise seriously.
Whether it was telling them that “No, you have to make sure everyone is out of the building before you shoot water into it,” to “No, you’re thinking of a rescue truck, but you’re using a ladder truck in this scene,” to “No, that’s not how our schedules work, no one works 96 hours straight through.”
Bobby shook his head as he saw one of the actors come running out of the burning building with his mask still hanging from his belt. Inside he was screaming. These guys were lucky the production crew was using fake smoke for this scene, otherwise they would all be dead.
“So Bobby?” the assistant director came up to him. “How did that take look? See anything glaringly wrong?”
Bobby took a deep breath before he responded. “All of them would be dead,” he said as he shook his head, walking away.
“Wait what?!”
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“So come on Bobby,” Buck begged him one day as he, Eddie, and Chimney met him for lunch. “Tell us something about the show, I’m dying here.”
Bobby laughed. “What exactly do you want to know about it Buck?” he asked. “The first episode hasn’t even aired yet. It’s not like you know anything about the characters.”
“Well its about firefighting right?” Buck asked. At Bobby’s nod, he continued. “Then tell me about some of the calls they have going on. They have to be cool right?”
“Oh the calls?” Bobby said. “Well, they’re absolutely absurd.”
“Absurd how?” Buck asked, leaning forward, desperate to hear something about the show.
Bobby sighed, knowing he wouldn’t get out of this without telling Buck something. He was lucky the studio hadn’t made him sign a nondisclosure agreement. Or maybe he was unlucky. “So there’s this one scene, it starts off in some type of parenting class…” Bobby started. “Then next thing you know, there’s six pregnant women in the same room all about to give birth,” he finished, shaking his head. “It’s just nonsensical. The chances of that happening are extremely low.”
“Wait a minute,” Chimney interrupted his story. “That story sounds vaguely familiar. In fact I think you were telling me about a call like that. But it was years ago.”
Buck’s eyes lit up as he remembered the call Chimney was thinking of. “Bobby, it was that one time we had a call to a yoga class and like five women went into labor. Don’t you remember it?” Buck asked.
Bobby blinked, and looked over at him. “What?” he asked.
“I never heard this story,” Eddie said. “When did it happen?”
Buck nodded, recalling it clearly in his mind. “It was that one full moon shift, my rookie year, before you joined us, Eddie. One woman got stuck in that yoga pose, then another woman went into labor. It was like dominos falling, one after the other.”
It took a couple seconds, but the memory of that call came to Bobby’s mind in distinct clarity. “Okay,” he said. “Maybe it’s possible. But the way they have it written in the show, it’s just simply not possible.”
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Three days after that lunch, Bobby came home, or their temporary apartment, to Athena browsing through Zillow listings looking for the next house they should schedule a tour of.
“Any good ones pop up today?” Bobby asked as he came to look over her shoulder at the small laptop screen.
“None that are in our price range,” she said, clicking through to another house and pulling up the pictures. While their homeowners insurance would be paying most of the cost of whichever house they chose to move in to, the company would only cover up to the value of their last house, and since that was lasted valued over five years ago, right before he and Athena were married and before house prices took off, that left their budget lower than they wanted for the Los Angeles real estate market.
Bobby supposed one good aspect of his new job was that it was paid slightly higher than the base salary of a Los Angeles Fire Department Captain. (Bobby wasn’t sure how to feel about that exactly.) But it also didn’t offer any overtime pay, which he guessed evened things out.
“So how was your day?” Athena asked as she turned around in her chair to look at him. “Those writers still not listening to you?”
Bobby blew out a breath as he leant back.
“That bad?” Athena raised an eyebrow.
Bobby took a deep breath. “I just don’t even know why they keep having me around,” he said as he ran his hands over his face. “Any time I point out that something doesn’t work how they think it does, they just totally disregard me. And don’t even get me started on what they have the firefighter doing…”
“What do they have them doing now?” Athena asked. Bobby had told her a couple stories of what the show had planned, but to be honest, she thought Bobby might have too high of expectations for the show.
“Have you ever seen a firefighter climb from the ladder of a truck to a pickup truck in another lane as both vehicles are driving 70 miles per hour down the highway?” Bobby asked. “I mean… could you imagine if I told one of the team to do that?”
Athena was quiet for a second, thinking over what Bobby just explained. Then, she had to ask him. “Didn’t you make Buck do something like that once?”
Bobby’s face paled as he recalled doing exactly that, not as the show depicted it in the scenes he saw earlier but… “I might have,” he mumbled. “But… that was one time.”
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After the first episode of Hot Shots aired, Buck was the first one to call Bobby, because of course, no matter if he was working or not, Buck would be the one to be watching it.
“ Bobby, this show is amazing,” was the first thing that Buck said when Bobby answered the phone.
“You… you like the show?” Bobby asked.
“Oh yeah!” Buck said, a smile evident in his voice even though Bobby couldn’t see it. “ And that call the episode opened up on, did you give them the idea?”
“The call it opened up on… you mean the call with the runaway bouncy castle?” Bobby asked. “Where it flew off the side of a mountain with a group of kids inside?” Bobby still didn’t know just whose idea it was to have that call. Sure, bouncy castles were known to fly away when high gusts of wind came through, but to do so with a group of kids inside? It was just… it was just absurd in his opinion.
And he had made it clear to the producers, who again just didn’t listen to him.
“Yeah, Bobby,” Buck continued. “Did you give them the idea for that call?”
“Why would I have given them that idea?” Bobby asked.
“Well it played out almost exactly like it did when we had the runaway bouncy castle call,” Buck said.
And wait - when did they have a call like that?
“ Don’t you remember it Bobby? I think it was when I was still a probie,” Buck was saying as Bobby wracked his mind for the story Buck was talking about. “ It happened at some kid’s birthday party, I think. Dude’s backyard backed up right next to this cliff. The bouncy castle was blown over the cliff with a bunch of kids on board, we had to go down and get them all out.”
The more Buck had kept speaking, the more the story became clearer and clearer in Bobby’s mind. And now… yeah, Bobby remembered that call. And that was one of the tamer calls they had gotten that month.
It still didn’t change Bobby’s mind, these writers and producers, they were just all around a little too crazy with the storylines on this show.
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Bobby shook his head as he read over the latest draft for the season finale. These guys were just getting more and more ridiculous as each episode went on.
“Oh come on Bobby,” the main writer, Micheal laughed when he saw Bobby’s initial reaction as he looked at the page. “It’s the season finale, we have to go big!” he exclaimed as he raised his hands in the air.
“I know you want something big but,” Bobby shook his head again. “A tsunami?”
“Well, you worked in that tsunami five years ago, didn’t you?” Micheal asked.
“Yeah but,” Bobby hummed, lifting his hands and dropping them. “You want the main character to be on the beach with his kid when it happens… and for them both to later survive?”
“Well there were a lot of people on the beach that survived,” Micheal said. “Yes, a lot of them also died, and it's a great tragedy but… it's certainly possible for Alex and Megan’s characters to survive.”
Bobby brought a hand up to his face. While he could agree that technically it's possible for the characters to survive in this situation… at this point he was just done with arguing with these people. “Fine, just make up whatever story you want,” he said. “Just when it comes to the actual rescue stuff, please listen to me,” he begged.
“Oh sure, we can do that,” Micheal said. “Turn to page five and let's talk about that.”
They did not listen to him.