Chapter Text
"Come on, Hen, It was a joke. It wasn't real, babe", Job says as he walks after him out of the bar.
Henry turns around to glare at him. "Frankly I don't care whether it was real or not. We're done either way."
Job frowns. "Don't be like that, H. Come on, can't you take a joke?"
Henry rolls his eyes at him. "Yes, I can. You know I can. Constantly taking your disrespect is not the same thing. You completely disregarded my boundaries. I asked you to quit the I cheated on you pranks. You promised me."
Job shrugs. "I know, but these get millions of views! Come on, babe. You weren't complaining when I took you on that vacation to Thailand!"
Henry huffs. "Oh, so now you're going to guilttrip me because I let you convince me to take me on a trip? When I explicitly told you I considered it a lot of money and I didn't expect you to pay for me? I offered to pay for my own ticket!"
Job grabs his hand. "I did it because I love you."
Henry smacks his hand away. 'If you loved me you'd have no problem respecting my boundaries. I'm not asking for a lot here, Job. No more cheating pranks. No more shoving a camera in my face while I'm crying. That's all I'm asking."
Job rolls his eyes at him. "No, it's not. You also made me delete the I got beat-up prank on my boyfriend and the proposal prank I pulled in Thailand."
"Yes, because it's incredibly disrespectful and insensitive toward victims of Domestic violence and street violence. These aren't topics to joke about, you're almost thirty don't you know that by now? And the proposal prank was just cruel" Henry hisses at him.
"Honey, you're in a mood, how about I fuck it out of you, yeah?" Job asks with a smirk as he comes closer to Henry.
What did he ever see in this bloke?
It's currently a mystery to Henry.
"Get your bloody hands off me", he hisses as soon as Job touches him.
Job frowns.
"Damn, babe. You can't just yell shit like that in an alleyway, people are going to think I'm a rapist", he says as he takes a step back.
"I am allowed to tell you not to touch me", Henry spits at him before turning around to walk away.
Job grabs his shoulder. "Where are you going, honey?"
Henry is about to rip Job off him but someone else does it for him.
He turns around just to be faced with the most beautiful man he's ever seen in his life.
"He told you not to touch him", the man tells Job as he goes to stand in front of Henry like a shield.
If he weren't dating Job, or you know dumped him about 5 seconds ago, he'd have proposed to the beautiful stranger.
Okay. Maybe not literally, but he's felt more adoration for this man in 5 seconds than he's felt for Job in the past 5 weeks.
"It's cool, dude. I'm not some creep who's stalking him. I'm his boyfriend. I appreciate you looking out for him, but he's safe with me. You can go now", Job tells the stranger calmly.
The stranger turns to Henry. "Is that true?"
Does the fact that Henry wants to say no make him a bad person?
He chooses not to look into that too closely.
"I dumped him about 5 seconds ago, but it's technically true or atleast it was", Henry tells him.
Job rolls his eyes at him. "You didn't dump me. You're just mad at me. You'll forgive me eventually, you always do."
"Not this time", Henry tells him before making another move to walk away.
Job reaches out to grab his arm again, but the stranger stops him again.
"He told you not to touch him."
"Yes, but you heard him. He's my boyfriend", Job defends himself.
"Cool. I don't care. He told you no. Surely they taught you in kindergarten what no means?" The pretty stranger asks him.
"Hen, you're making a scene. Just tell the bloke he can go. He's probably only going to take your word for it", Job hisses.
Henry groans. "I just want to go home, can't everyone just leave me alone?'
"I'll take you home, baby", Job offers.
"I'm not your baby, not anymore. And you're drunk", Henry reminds him.
"Hen, stop with the bullshit, you're not dumping me over a silly prank", Job huffs.
Henry straightens his shoulders. "No, I'm not. I'm dumping you because you consistently ignored my boundaries and you keep filming me as I make a fool of myself and then upload it on the Internet for the world to see without my permission", Henry tells him.
Job shrugs. "So what? Most people would love a boyfriend who uploads daily videos that attract millions of views. We're rich! And most people are team Henry anyway so I don't know why you're being so dramatic."
"I'm not being dramatic when I tell you that you are crossing my boundaries ", Henry defends himself.
Job points to the stranger who is still standing between them. "Let's ask him."
"His answer isn't going to change my personal opinion", Henry sighs.
Job rolls his eyes at him. "Ofcourse not, but I just want to know which one of us is in the wrong from an outsider's perspective."
Henry sighs.
"Fine".
What's he got to lose anyway?
He turns to the stranger.
"But you've got to be honest, don't just side with me because I seem more rational in the moment", Henry tells the stranger.
"I'm not a liar", the stranger promises him as he makes intense eye contact with Henry that sends goosebumps down his spine.
Good thing he dumped Job three minutes ago or he'd feel like a nasty cheater.
Christ, how did Job pull those cheating pranks without feeling sick to his stomach?
As if on cue Job clears his throat. "Okay. So I'm an influencer and It's my job to post videos every single day. I make quite a lot with the advertisement and shit. And we have hoodies available with Team Job and Team Henry on them that sell really well. So we're in a bit of a prank wars right now. Which Henry agreed to-"
"That was two years ago, I didn't know you'd take things so far", Henry defends himself.
Job waves him off. "Henry stopped pranking me back a few months ago because he no longer enjoys filming pranks. Which is cool, but I still got to pay my bills you know, so I-"
Henry rolls his eyes at his ex. "You know damn well that you've got enough money to stop working and a degree that could get you another job. There is no need for you to continue to prank me".
Job waves him off again. "So I continued my daily videos. But the vlogs don't do nearly so well as the couple videos and the pranks. The pranks do much much better. So I continued pranking people, not just him. But the cheating prank I did about two years ago was my best-received video ever. It got millions of views."
He turns to the stranger. "So my question to you is do you think it's wrong that I pulled another cheating prank because they do so well? I mean it's not like I keep the money all to myself. I bought Hen a new computer so he could continue to work on his queer romance novel manuscript, and just recently I surprised him with a trip to Thailand that I didn't make him pay a cent for. It's not all selfish."
Henry sighs. "It's important to add for context that he's already pulled 3 cheating pranks on me and the last time it sent me into a depressive episode that took me almost 3 days to recover from."
Job sighs. "Yes, and I did feel bad about that. But who took care of you on those 3 days? Who brought you food, and water, walked your dog, did all the chores, called your boss, helped you into the shower, and was endlessly patient with you?" Job asks him.
Henry groans. "I can be grateful for what you did for me, while still pointing out things that made me uncomfortable. You can't just guilt trip me, because you took care of me when I had a bad mental health day. Especially when you know I'd do the same for you, without expecting endless gratitude in return"
The stranger hums. "Okay so first of all my name is Alex. Can I answer now?"
"Please", Job tells him eagerly, seemingly oblivious to the judgemental glares the stranger has been shooting him this whole time.
Henry already knows Alex is siding with him and it lifts a weight from his chest.
Alex clears his throat.
"Okay, so I just want to start by saying that if you need your partner to worship you for the rest of eternity because you took care of him when he was struggling with a depression episode, you probably didn't take care of him for the right reasons."
Henry could cry from this simple but reassuring statement.
He knew he wasn't being over sensitive.
Pez and Bea said the same thing but it's nice to hear it from someone of who it isn't expected to stay loyal to him.
Alex glares at Job then. "Not to mention that you triggered the depressive episode so you definitely don't have any right to use this against him. It's great that you took care of him, but it's also what any good partner would do. And you don't seem to be motivated to do it for the right reasons like love and respect".
Henry's jaw almost drops. It's been a while since someone stood up for him like that and used logical reasoning that makes it sound like Henry did nothing wrong.
Which he knew but Job was making him second-guess himself
Job sighs. "Okay, that's fair, but that doesn't answer my question."
Alex sighs. "You're honestly expecting me to tell you that you're not in the wrong for pulling a cheating prank on your partner today? Even though the last time you did that he was so upset he didn't get out of bed for 3 days? Not to mention he asked you multiple times to stop doing it. Even if his reasoning didn't make sense, I think that if your partner asks you not to do something -and it's not a completely unreasonable or unfair request- you listen to them regardless if you agree with them.'
Job groans. 'But cheating pranks get the most views."
Alex raises an eyebrow at him. "Are the views and the money really worth risking sending your loving partner into a depressive episode?"
Job goes to say no but Alex is already scoffing.
"The fact that you hesitated tells me all I need to know."
Then he turns to Henry. "Dump him and stop settling for losers who don't have your best interest by heart"
Job rolls his eyes at him. "Don't listen to him, honey, I love you"
Alex scoffs. "You know what I think? I think you have eyes so you can see he's fucking beautiful. And you love the money you make of off cyberbullying him, constantly breaking his heart for stupid pranks and invading his privacy. But I don't think you love him, because I don't know about you but I could never purposely continue to do something that I know is hurting someone I love. People who love you care about how they make you feel."
"Aren't you the knight in shining armor?" Job asks with an eye roll.
Alex shrugs. "I don't know about that. But I do know that if he were mine I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship or his trust in me, I don't think you quite realize how fucking blessed you are forgetting to call that God of a man yours."
Henry can't help but blush.
"Oh, but I am the cheater", Job says dramatically as he notices.
Alex rolls his eyes at him. "I'm pretty sure he dumped you, making him a free man. Plus a blush isn't the same as acting on those feelings. But I don't think I have to explain to you what cheating looks like, considering you've done it to this man like 5 times", he defends Henry.
"Pretended to, I would never actually cheat on him", Job groans.
Alex scoffs. "I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Pretending to do something you know would hurt your partner isn't much different than actually doing the thing. You're consistently making him go through the same feelings people who actually got cheated on experience, just to then push a camera in his face and tell him he's not allowed to feel these emotions because you didn't really cheat on him. Has anyone ever told you you don't have to hit your partner in order to earn the toxic title?" Alex asks him.
Job groans again. "Fuck off man, you don't know Henry, not like I do. And you certainly don't know me."
Alex nods. "You're right, I don't. But I do know that if Henry were mine and I accidentally did something to trigger a depressive episode of his, I'd want to set myself on fire. Meanwhile you purposely cause them and then guilt-trip him for letting you take care of him when it's a fucking privilege that he still trusts you enough to let you see him in such a vulnerable position", Alex tells him.
Henry stares at Alex with an open mouth.
He was in a committed relationship with Job for two years but he's pretty sure that's the most romantic thing anyone has said to him In years.
Or ever for that matter.
"That is not fair. I do not purposely cause his depressive episodes. I don't want him to struggle mentally, i am always really sweet to him when i am not pranking him. I love him. If i could take away his depression i'd do it in a heartbeat", Job says frustratedly.
"Well you can't thats not how it works. But you can however do your part in making sure he feels safe and respected and loved and relaxed at home", Alex says sharply.
"I do! I take him on dates every week. I buy him flowers all the time. I always tell him I love him before I leave the house. I support his dream of becoming a NY bestselling queer romance author. I- Hen say something, tell me you're not going home with that jerk", Job says upset.
Henry shakes himself out of the shock. "I am not going home with him, I did love you Job, I wouldn't start something new two minutes after dumping you. But I'm not going home with you either. This just reminds me how much you really mistreated me", He admits.
"Honey, I'm sorry, please give me another chance", Job says as tears fall down his face.
"I'm sorry too, but I think I've given you enough chance if you were really sorry you wouldn't need so many chances", Henry sighs.
"Babe, please one more, I'll do anything", Job begs.
Henry sighs again. "I'm afraid it's too late for that and it's been too late for that since what you did to me in Thailand. Or maybe since you pulled the cheating with the door locked prank on me. I think I knew then that I didn't see a future for us. I have you another chance, but I shouldn't have."
Alex raises an eyebrow at him. "What is a cheating with the door locked prank?"
Job shrugs. "It's what it sounds like, you lock yourself into the bedroom with another man or with your laptop and you make sexual noises until your partner knocks on the door. If you want to spice things up you put clothes in front of the door and jump on the bed. Bonus points if you pretend to button your jeans when you open the door."
Alex scoffs. "And that's fun to you?"
Job sighs. "I did feel bad when he cried, but like I said our fans love these types of pranks."
Alex frowns. "Hold on, you make him cry? You make your man cry for views?"
Henry nods. "Yes, all of the time."
Alex makes a disgusted face. "You purposely make your partner cry? Often? A grown man? You make a grown man cry? Often?"
"In my defense, he cries easily", Job tells them.
Henry scoffs. "Just a few months ago You pretended that a blender hit you in the face and you'd lost your memory and you know what you did to me in Thailand, but I'm the weirdo for crying?"
Alex blinks. "I am sorry he did what?"
"Oh that's not even the worst prank he's pulled on me. I'd say the prank he pulled on me in Thailand was the worst thing he did to me but the blender prank was the first time I asked him to stop", Henry tells him.
"You pretended that a blender hit you in the head with the knife thingy?" Alex asks bewildered.
Henry nods. "Oh yeah. There was a lot of fake blood and he screamed 'I don't know you, I don't know you".
Alex cringes. "Damn, I thought my ex was toxic, but Jess seems like an angel compared to him."
"Can you all stop flirting?" Job groans.
Henry sighs. "I am not flirting with him, but I did mean it when I said we are done, Job. You really hurt my feelings tonight, again. I have been incredibly patient with you, but enough is enough."
Job rolls his eyes again. "You said the Same thing in Thailand, but you still came home with me."
Henry nods. "Yes, but I am starting to regret giving you another chance after what happened in Thailand."
Job scoffs. "You don't mean that. We all know you're going to forgive me. You always do. This was nothing compared to Thailand."
Alex blinks. "Not that it's any of my business but now I have to know, Henry, what did this jerk do to you in Thailand?'
Henry sighs. "He took me on a magical vacation to Thailand with the money he made from all the pranks he pulled on me. As an apology. He promised me this was the end of an era. The end of prankwars and i foolishly believed him."
Job shrugs. "In my defense, i had my fingers crossed when I said that."
Alex cringes. "Thats terrible, H, I'm sorry."
Henry raises an eyebrow at him. "You don't even know what he did yet."
Alex blinks. "Was that not the prank? Him telling you prank wars was over even though it wasn't."
"That was the build up so i'd fall for the prank", Henry explains.
Alex turns to Job. "Oh my god, what did you do to him?" He asks concerned.
Henry kicks a little rock. "He took me on a magical Thailand trip. Which included him getting on one knee while we watched the sunsets in a tourist spot that's known for a place a lot of people get engaged, shoving a ring in my face, making me sob on camera and then laughing in my face and saying just kidding."
Alex's jaw all but drops to the floor. "You proposed to him?"
Henry stares at the ground. "It wasn't a proposal it was a proposal Prank."
Job sighs. 'We're still on that? That was almost a year ago, Honey."
"Did you say yes?" Alex asks softly, ignoring job completely.
Henry finally looks back up at him and nods slowly.
Alex scoffs as he turns back to Job. "You're sick. Did you know that? How could you break his heart like that?"
Job sighs. "Look I agree that prank may have been a little too far but Henry I told you that ring is yours. I am still going to give it to you. Eventually. It was always going to be yours. When the moment is right."
Henry rolls his eyes at him. "Keep it, Job. Seriously I no longer want it. I have no interest in marrying someone who cares more about money and views then he cares about my emotional well-being. The audacity you have to expect me to-"
Alex gently stops him. "Hen, stop talking."
Henry frowns Alex has been a godsend so far but he does not get to decide how Henry ends a two-year relationship.
"Alex, you don't-"
"No, Hen, seriously stop talking", Alex tells him again as he points at something behind Job.
Henry's jaw drops. "You're fucking recording this?" He yells out.
Job flushes. "Well yes, there is only one thing viewers love more than cheating pranks. Breakups."
"I swear i only saw it just now!" Alex tells him, which henry believes.
He groans as he faces his ex again. "So you saw I was upset and you didn't even run after me to apologize? but to record me and put this private conversation on the internet for the whole world to see?"
"Now you're making it sound like I am recording a conversation we had in our bedroom", Job says dramatically.
"Well it's not like you've never done that before", Henry reminds him making Alex gasp.
"You don't have my permission to post this. I could Sue you", he snaps.
"I was always going to fade out your face and voice, I don't need a lawsuit on my back", Job says as he waves him off.
"Well Henry doesn't give you his permission either", Alex hisses.
"He already did, two years ago. Plus this is going to break the internet. Is their favorite gay couple breaking up? It's worth gold", Job says with a grin.
"I think people are just going to spread the #FreeHenry", Alex tells him making Henry laugh.
"We're done Job", Henry tells him again.
"Would you mind repeating that? But with tears in your eyes? And could you look into the camera?" Job asks making Henry roll his eyes at him.
"I am going to go home, get my dog and my stuff and I'm going to sleep on Pez or Bea's couch until I find an apartment. Have a good life", Henry tells him before walking away.
Alex follows him.
"Oh my god, is he fucked in the head? Did that actually happen" He says before collapsing into giggles.
Henry would be offended that his awful love life was amusing to this stranger, but it is actually kind of nice to see that someone who isn't his best mate or sister can also see how badly Job treated him and the stranger seems to have nothing but good intentions so he smiles.
"I appreciate everything you did for me, but I meant it when I said I don't want to immediately shag someone else", Henry admits.
Alex stands up straight then. "I totally get that. You were with him for two years. There is no pressure. I can wait, you seem worth it. Once you're ready, could I buy you a cup of coffee?" He asks nervously.
Henry shakes his head but he's smiling. "No"
Alex's face drops. "Okay. I totally respect that. Have a good-"
"You can buy me a tea though?" Henry offers with a shit-eating grin.
"Oh, I hate you", Alex tells him before bursting out into laughter.
Henry smiles as he hands him his phone to put his number in.
Alex hands him his phone as well.
'Hey, this is not an excuse to get you to take me home with you. But if you need an extra set of hands to get your stuff before he's back, I am free? I promise I won't expect anything in return. But I am assuming you'd want to be gone when he gets there with his camera", Alex offers.
Henry smiles. 'I would really appreciate that actually. Thank you. But be honest Is this just an excuse to meet the dog I mentioned?"
Alex grins. "You know me so well already."
Henry laughs. "Let's go then. I should probably call an Uber for Job though. He's very drunk. "
Alex waves him off. "He's rich he'll figure it out".
Henry snorts.