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It wasn't supposed to be like this. Kei was supposed to get help from both Akaashi and Bokuto, studying for some of his college entrance exams. Well, Bokuto was supposed to be studying, Akaashi was helping him and Kei got dragged along because Kuroo said it would mean a lot to Bokuto if he helped. And Kei had some sort of obligation that he felt needed expressed since Bokuto had helped Kei discover his love of volleyball; surprisingly.
But then Akaashi had to leave early due to a family emergency, and now Kei was sitting in Bokuto's room watching a scene of his own nightmares unfold before him.
It had started with a simple question. "Bokuto-san, what are you wanting to do after high school? You're not still going to be playing volleyball, are you?"
Kei didn't mean for it to be biting; he had been working on his words since he knew they stung. He knew he had a barbed tongue, Yamaguchi was keen on reminding him, so he had been hoping that his progress had been enough recently. But when Kei had asked that to Bokuto, he knew he should have left the second part out.
Now Bokuto was a ball of worry and sadness, murmurings of "What if I'm not good enough for college volleyball?" and "What if I'm no longer the ace?" were two of the main ones that Kei understood from them.
He didn't know what he was supposed to be doing now. Akaashi was the one who usually pulled Bokuto out of his funks. Akaashi always knew exactly what to say. Hell, Akaashi was the one who had the book of Bokuto-isms and knew which number he was dealing with to pull the solution from.
Kei was just...there. He wasn't enough for this. He didn't know what to say or what to do. He gingerly outstretched a hand and laid it on Bokuto's shoulder. When Bokuto didn't shy away from the touch, Kei started to rub softly at the tense muscle beneath his hand. He never realized just how ripped Bokuto was. It made Kei's face feel slightly warm, but he couldn't think about that right now.
"Hey, Bokuto-san.."
Bokuto looked up, his hair had seemed to wilt from his melancholy, his eyes brimming with unshed tears.
Kei cleared his throat, "I'm sure you'll do just as well as you always have, even playing with other college students."
He hoped that would ease the pain he could see glimmering in Bokuto's eyes. Kei found that he didn't enjoy seeing Bokuto in pain. It was like seeing a puppy who just got yelled at for doing something it shouldn't have been doing. Kei didn't know when the feelings of gratitude towards Bokuto had shifted to feelings of affection, even slight as they were at the moment, but maybe it was all of the study sessions between the four of them. Bokuto had wormed himself into Kei's heart gradually.
Bokuto sounded so small when he asked, "Do you really think so?" and it had Kei almost immediately nodding his head. Bokuto gradually lifted his head more, and slowly sat up from where he had been previously curled up. Kei's hand was still rubbing small circles into Bokuto's shoulder, almost on instinct at this point.
Bokuto reached up with one hand and grabbed ahold of Kei's where it had been on his shoulder, and brought it down between the two of them. But Bokuto didn't let Kei's hand go, his thumb starting to make small gentle caresses on Kei's own hand. Kei looked down and couldn't help the pressing of his lips as he saw their hands intertwined. It felt..nice.
Bokuto raised his other arm and pumped the air twice with his fist, "Alright! If Tsukki says it, it must be true!" and then reached over to grab ahold the pencil that he had carelessly threw onto the table in his mini-dejected mood.
They started talking about the study guide that Akaashi had so helpfully provided, even gave Kei a copy too to keep for himself when he eventually would need it. Bokuto gesticulating wildly sometimes with his free hand, but Kei could hardly focus too much due to his hand still enclosed in the other of Bokuto's.
Kei wouldn't talk about it unless Bokuto brought it up. He may, he may not. What would Akaashi think? Kei had no idea. But regardless, little could beat the feeling of affection that was starting to course through Kei's chest. It would definitely grow stronger if this continued into the future.
Kei definitely wouldn't complain if this happened on their future study sessions though. Kuroo was right, Kei decided that it would also mean a lot to him too to help.